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What Happens Next (Slay The Princess/RWBY)

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[X] Ozpin explained that only a handful of people know about his reincarnations. With General Iroonwood here, he has a rare occasion to have you meet several of them that aren't easy to catch normally. He asks if you want to meet with the pretext of being a new teacher he wants to introduce.
 
[X] Ozpin has received an anonymous letter. It bears the mark of the Grimm fang and contains only a call for help with a date and a place. He wants you to go see what it is about.

[X] General Iroonwood is coming to Beacon. According to Opzin, it is to visit for an atlesian student that wants to learn here. There is a mandatory psychological test Oz propose you could do for that student as a final test of your aptitudes.
 
[X] Ozpin has received an anonymous letter. It bears the mark of the Grimm fang and contains only a call for help with a date and a place. He wants you to go see what it is about.

Someone actually in need of help or a trap? Either way I am curious.
 
[X] General Iroonwood is coming to Beacon. According to Opzin, it is to visit for an atlesian student that wants to learn here. There is a mandatory psychological test Oz propose you could do for that student as a final test of your aptitudes.
 
[x] Ozpin explained that only a handful of people know about his reincarnations. With General Iroonwood here, he has a rare occasion to have you meet several of them that aren't easy to catch normally. He asks if you want to meet with the pretext of being a new teacher he wants to introduce.
 
[X] General Iroonwood is coming to Beacon. According to Opzin, it is to visit for an atlesian student that wants to learn here. There is a mandatory psychological test Oz propose you could do for that student as a final test of your aptitudes.

[X] Ozpin has received an anonymous letter. It bears the mark of the Grimm fang and contains only a call for help with a date and a place. He wants you to go see what it is about.
 
[x] Ozpin explained that only a handful of people know about his reincarnations. With General Iroonwood here, he has a rare occasion to have you meet several of them that aren't easy to catch normally. He asks if you want to meet with the pretext of being a new teacher he wants to introduce.
 
Nyarky said:
You make quite sure not to tell that she is absolutely right, and that you never were a child. You were born an adult, but she doesn't need that information.
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I don't know what it says that Stella doesn't even consider "Maybe it would be nice to be a child for a bit," but it sure says something :V

Honestly it's both surprising (children are like the most change-y kind of human you can be) and also makes perfect sense (there was barely any room for change in each individual life when she was in the construct, certainly not room to "grow up")

As for the vote, the Ozluminati are obvious, I'm guessing the Grimm Fang letter is Blake, General Ironwood is of course bringing over Penny... the dossier might be Jaune? Which would answer whether or not he's faking scores in this AU, I suppose :V

[X] Ozpin got a very suspicious dossier from a student. He asks you if you can do the mandatory psychological test for him.

[X] Ozpin has received an anonymous letter. It bears the mark of the Grimm fang and contains only a call for help with a date and a place. He wants you to go see what it is about.

[X] General Iroonwood is coming to Beacon. According to Opzin, it is to visit for an atlesian student that wants to learn here. There is a mandatory psychological test Oz propose you could do for that student as a final test of your aptitudes.
 
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[X] General Iroonwood is coming to Beacon. According to Opzin, it is to visit for an atlesian student that wants to learn here. There is a mandatory psychological test Oz propose you could do for that student as a final test of your aptitudes
 
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Twei said:
I don't know what it says that Stella doesn't even consider "Maybe it would be nice to be a child for a bit," but it sure says something :V
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Who knows, she might get to experience being a child one day. Being treated as unable to take decisions without destroying something, being stuck wherever people want you to stay, not being allowed to do what you want because *I say so*, others choosing what your room looks like... funny, the more I describe it, the more I feel as if she already actually experienced that. I wonder why? :V
 
Nyarky said:
Who knows, she might get to experience being a child one day. Being treated as unable to take decisions without destroying something, being stuck wherever people want you to stay, not being allowed to do what you want because *I say so*, others choosing what your room looks like... funny, the more I describe it, the more I feel as if she already actually experienced that. I wonder why? :V
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Very true, but also now I'm reimagining the Narrator freaking out over late chapter scenery changes as "YOUNG LADY, CLEAN UP YOUR ROOM THIS INSTANT" :V
 
[x] Ozpin explained that only a handful of people know about his reincarnations. With General Iroonwood here, he has a rare occasion to have you meet several of them that aren't easy to catch normally. He asks if you want to meet with the pretext of being a new teacher he wants to introduce.
 
I'm hoping the Atlesian student is Penny, but it might just be Weiss.

Also, both of the vote options misspelled Ironwood as Iroonwood.

[x] Ozpin explained that only a handful of people know about his reincarnations. With General Iroonwood here, he has a rare occasion to have you meet several of them that aren't easy to catch normally. He asks if you want to meet with the pretext of being a new teacher he wants to introduce
 
Nyarky said:
Between your love inherent affinity to restraint and your adaptability, you take to it like a fish to water and are now at no risks of accidental revelations.

Your new status is also seen by team CFVY, who ends up asking you for some tutoring.
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love's
for
end

Nyarky said:
"Because!" This is the first time you hear her shout, she instantly catches herself and come back to a normal volume.
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you've heard
returns

Nyarky said:
The way I see it, you have an eye for movement, and that is that that fueled your ability to copy them.
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what

Nyarky said:
I can see it is your Semblance, but it isn't like it give you skills…." She seems to come to a realization and look at you in surprise.

You laugh a little at that. "Yes, it does give me, skills. In fact, my Semblance is one that is always on and is always giving me knowledge of things, I shouldn't have depending on some circumstances. If you think you are a cheater, know that I never had to learn to fight in the first place, someone thought I could so I did. I didn't even have a childhood you know, difficult with the kind of person I am."
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gives
looks
me skills
things I
such a thing would be difficult

Nyarky said:
"No, Velvet, think on how Mister Vault act with her, he wouldn't be like that if she was… but what if he didn't know?
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about
acts

Nyarky said:
At least you can be sure this can't stick, too many people who know you as an adult now.
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stick, there are too

Nyarky said:
"Whatever you were thinking, I can assure you that I am not a child, and that Sable and I go back to when we were born. I am the same age as him, is it clear?" She blushes fiercely at your remount.

"You heard? I am sorry, it's just, the way you said it… it almost felt as if you were telling you never were a child for a moment. I am sorry."
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have known each other since
that
remark
You heard that?
saying you were never able to be

Nyarky said:
You make quite sure not to tell that she is absolutely right, and that you never were a child.
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tell her that

Nyarky said:
You look at her, frozen in the middle of her sentence, unable to comprehend your words, and you decide to give her time to breath.
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breathe

Nyarky said:
The year continue, most of it only routine that you do not care about.

There are still one or two events that do stick, some things that changes the course of next year and whose consequences you will continue to ponder on for a long time.
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continues
change

Nyarky said:
[] General Iroonwood is coming to Beacon. According to Opzin, it is to visit for an atlesian student that wants to learn here. There is a mandatory psychological test Oz propose you could do for that student as a final test of your aptitudes.

[] Ozpin explained that only a handful of people know about his reincarnations. With General Iroonwood here, he has a rare occasion to have you meet several of them that aren't easy to catch normally. He asks if you want to meet with the pretext of being a new teacher he wants to introduce.
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Ironwood
Atlesian
proposes
aptitude
Ironwood
A general suggestion I have is to use more contractions in the spoken dialogue so that it sounds more natural. In fact, it was pointed out to me that not using any contractions is one of Penny's verbal eccentricities, so it would help to distinguish her when she shows up if she's the only one doing that.

For the votes, I'm guessing 1 is Blake, 2 is Weiss, 3 is upfront about being Ironwood and the rest of the local Ozluminati members, and 4 is Jaune.

[X] Ozpin has received an anonymous letter. It bears the mark of the Grimm fang and contains only a call for help with a date and a place. He wants you to go see what it is about.
 
[X] Ozpin has received an anonymous letter. It bears the mark of the Grimm fang and contains only a call for help with a date and a place. He wants you to go see what it is about.

🐦‍⬛? Maybe?

[X] Ozpin got a very suspicious dossier from a student. He asks you if you can do the mandatory psychological test for him.

Dammit Jaune!
 
NaanContributor said:
A general suggestion I have is to use more contractions in the spoken dialogue so that it sounds more natural.
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I'd have to replay a little (oh no, the horror, can you imagine! Having an excuse to replay a game I love! *Dramatically faints*), but I am pretty sure all the characters in Slay the Princess are not fans of contractions. (Practically sure Shifting mound basically uses none.)

Still, that does mean using more on RWBY's characters, so I can try to work on that.
 
[X] General Iroonwood is coming to Beacon. According to Opzin, it is to visit for an atlesian student that wants to learn here. There is a mandatory psychological test Oz propose you could do for that student as a final test of your aptitudes.
 
Nyarky said:
I'd have to replay a little (oh no, the horror, can you imagine! Having an excuse to replay a game I love! *Dramatically faints*), but I am pretty sure all the characters in Slay the Princess are not fans of contractions. (Practically sure Shifting mound basically uses none.)

Still, that does mean using more on RWBY's characters, so I can try to work on that.
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Contractions are an interesting little thing you can get a lot out of. A character not using any during conversation can convey stiffness or sophistication, just like characters using them can convey a more easygoing nature or a more casual situation.

I think you are correct that neither the Princess nor the Narrator use any, though. Then again, the Princess is malleable; she can always adjust her speech patterns.

Just be careful not to let the contractions stray outside of direct speech. They do not belong elsewhere.
 
[X] Ozpin has received an anonymous letter. It bears the mark of the Grimm fang and contains only a call for help with a date and a place. He wants you to go see what it is about.
 
[X] Ozpin has received an anonymous letter. It bears the mark of the Grimm fang and contains only a call for help with a date and a place. He wants you to go see what it is about.
[X] Ozpin explained that only a handful of people know about his reincarnations. With General Iroonwood here, he has a rare occasion to have you meet several of them that aren't easy to catch normally. He asks if you want to meet with the pretext of being a new teacher he wants to introduce

I find it rather hilarious that the avatar of multiversal instability is acting as a high-school therapist
 
Quine said:
That's an opinion, and I don't think it's a common one. Contractions are a perfectly ordinary part of the English language. Using them outside of dialogue is fine.
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Meh. Maybe that is my opinion as someone who learned English as a second language. Contractions do not belong outside of direct speech in writing to me. I have never seen a spot where adding one would have improved the result.
 
Naron said:
Meh. Maybe that is my opinion as someone who learned English as a second language. Contractions do not belong outside of direct speech in writing to me. I have never seen a spot where adding one would have improved the result.
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Ah, you're a non-native speaker. That would explain the weird language usage.

Native speakers are much more comfortable with contractions than you are. Your advice may be well-intentioned, but following it would make the quest's writing read as significantly less natural. That can be okay as a deliberate effect, but not as a general writing principle.
 
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Quine said:
Ah, you're a non-native speaker. That would explain the weird language usage.

Native speakers are much more comfortable with contractions than you are. Your advice may be well-intentioned, but following it would make the quest's writing read as significantly less natural. That can be okay as a deliberate effect, but not as a general writing principle.
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I have to disagree hard on natural sound. Writing does not at all sound unnatural through a lack of contractions.

You have a point in regard to more casual use such as text messengers or the like, but definitely not in creative writing.
 
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