Bound to Earth: A CK2 Earthbound Quest in an 8-bit Dystopia
- Thread starter Crosswire
- Start date
- Crossover Sci-Fi
Mini-Omake: Cutman to the Outlands
- Location
- Italian City
- Pronouns
- He/They/Name
Mini-Omake : Cutman to the Outlands
Cutman was sent into this mission by the illustrous Dr.Wily, and they weren't going to disappoint.
After about an hour of searching, CutMan felt something... off...
It.
It was li-
....
Good. No enemies left. Might as well move onto the next area.
Now. According to the sign.
Beanbean Village, or Saturn Valley?
Cutman was sent into this mission by the illustrous Dr.Wily, and they weren't going to disappoint.
After about an hour of searching, CutMan felt something... off...
It.
It was li-
....
Good. No enemies left. Might as well move onto the next area.
Now. According to the sign.
Beanbean Village, or Saturn Valley?
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I have a question @Crosswire could we take over the sharks I'm just curious if we can. Like that's an action we can possibly do in the future.
Taking over the sharks, defeating them and absorbing their ranks, joining them and eventually becoming the leader of them, or crushing them completely. Those are all potential options going forward.
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Thank you for that answer . Well anybody else feel like fighting the sharks maybe in a couple of turns like 3 or 4 so we can become like a de facto gang leader.
We can might also reform them to be like helpful delinquents and help us defeat the blue cult and save Paula at twoson.
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With the benefit of Earthbound knowledge, taking over the sharks probably won't be that hard and could be a very easy way to gain a small faction for ourselves. They're just delinquents, but they're also the first major hurdle that Ness faces in Earthbound. Even if we don't take them over, fighting them would probably endear us to the rest of Onett. And once again using that Earthbound knowledge, I'm not even sure if their boss would mind if we fought their goons. They seem pretty chill about Ness breaking into the hideout and beating the crap out of everyone there.
That's at least one area I feel like we could follow in Ness's footsteps
Keep in mind though, there are going to be things that are different, and we aren't Ness. So there are things that we can't do, won't do, or that are just straight up going to be different. Knowledge of how things work in Earthbound is good, but it's not going to carry us all the way through
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True that's completely fair. Things are going to be completely different since we aren't Ness but we least know somethings that will go down and can possibly prevent and it might be harder with the inclusion of 8 bit dystopia in the other faction leaders with it influencing it.
But We know out of character that Frankie the fly has Frankystein Mark II if we're fast enough we can just get into his mech suit before him.
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I didn't realize that the thing on its chest was a viewport. I thought it was just a robot. Frank made a steam-powered mech out of wood and scraps. That's impressive. I doubt we're gonna be able to steal it unless CD learns about it beforehand somehow. But that's a fun idea.
Right like what ma long says that glory is attained, from Hardwork step by step. I just realize if we do somehow take over the sharks would Frank be our number two and we might have to tell him about the whole Situation.
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KnownParadox
Not a sphere
- Location
- Canada
Beating up Frank and then making him an underling instead of letting him go off to make burgers would probably net us a pretty decent hero unit. Probably no high stats, but a general all-rounder, with maybe higher points in Stewardship and Learning. Who can say no to a mecha, even a wooden one?
Don't forget about Apple kid in twoson he's a smart guy he made a pencil shape erasing device that erase pencil shaped objects.
If he works for us we might be able to help him make more devices that could help us in our personal war again with you know who.
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That might be important since we have Paula locked in as the Captive but Jeff and Pu's positions are being filled by other people. No guarantee that our favorite bottle rocket-slinging baby scientist is around.
[X] Plan: We're Going To Need a Montage (Montage!)
Honestly, this is a really solid plan.
Visiting the Hill allows us to cover Buzz-Buzz's tracks, and potentially, if we're lucky - get some of the boons of beating up wildlife. A lot of the local wildlife does actually hang around the hill - Spiteful Crows, Annoying Dogs, and Coil Snakes.
Talking with Buzz-Buzz gives us info and is an auto-pass, I don't think that taking this one should be even within question.
While getting a part-time job would give us a lot of boons - easy access to the stores, a ready stream of income, knowledge of what items are available for purchase - I agree that bribing our way to the "Hangout Spot" is the easiest path forward. There are - I'm pretty sure - two alternative paths to get to the result of this action on this turn, through Diplomacy and Intrigue. Intrigue is something we will naturally have trouble with, and we'll be busy talking with Buzz-Buzz this turn for Diplomacy.
That said - if bribing our way to the Hangout Spot is successful, and Cass is able to get her own personal actions; then next turn, we need to get some form of passive income flow coming in (or otherwise, receive active income through an action).
All that said, collecting information is probably the least riskiest move we could take with Intrigue this turn - and more information is never bad.
Buzz-Buzz teaching us PSI - with Buzz-Buzz helping - is probably the easiest task we have available, period. Unless we roll below a 10, we're going to hit the medium DC. Another easy one. We need to get as much results out of Buzz-Buzz as possible.
Speaking of Buzz-Buzz, he needs to lay low. The less chance of Starmen coming here sooner, the more time we have to prepare.
On plans going past this turn...
I agree with what's been said about the Sharks. Franky is a powerful ally to get on our side and is ultimately a pretty good guy. Might even get a free base out of the deal in Onett's Arcade.
Getting that house is a good idea - it's a base to operate out of; even if in Earthbound, it's overpriced and in dire need of repair.
Talking to Porky is something I think we need to do for recon's sake.
Once we've made preparations for it and lowered the DC check, we should found an organization.
Reiterating what I've already said - get a passive/active income stream. Job's a good way to do that.
For now, though - this is our best bet.
Honestly, this is a really solid plan.
Visiting the Hill allows us to cover Buzz-Buzz's tracks, and potentially, if we're lucky - get some of the boons of beating up wildlife. A lot of the local wildlife does actually hang around the hill - Spiteful Crows, Annoying Dogs, and Coil Snakes.
Talking with Buzz-Buzz gives us info and is an auto-pass, I don't think that taking this one should be even within question.
While getting a part-time job would give us a lot of boons - easy access to the stores, a ready stream of income, knowledge of what items are available for purchase - I agree that bribing our way to the "Hangout Spot" is the easiest path forward. There are - I'm pretty sure - two alternative paths to get to the result of this action on this turn, through Diplomacy and Intrigue. Intrigue is something we will naturally have trouble with, and we'll be busy talking with Buzz-Buzz this turn for Diplomacy.
That said - if bribing our way to the Hangout Spot is successful, and Cass is able to get her own personal actions; then next turn, we need to get some form of passive income flow coming in (or otherwise, receive active income through an action).
All that said, collecting information is probably the least riskiest move we could take with Intrigue this turn - and more information is never bad.
Buzz-Buzz teaching us PSI - with Buzz-Buzz helping - is probably the easiest task we have available, period. Unless we roll below a 10, we're going to hit the medium DC. Another easy one. We need to get as much results out of Buzz-Buzz as possible.
Speaking of Buzz-Buzz, he needs to lay low. The less chance of Starmen coming here sooner, the more time we have to prepare.
On plans going past this turn...
I agree with what's been said about the Sharks. Franky is a powerful ally to get on our side and is ultimately a pretty good guy. Might even get a free base out of the deal in Onett's Arcade.
Getting that house is a good idea - it's a base to operate out of; even if in Earthbound, it's overpriced and in dire need of repair.
Talking to Porky is something I think we need to do for recon's sake.
Once we've made preparations for it and lowered the DC check, we should found an organization.
Reiterating what I've already said - get a passive/active income stream. Job's a good way to do that.
For now, though - this is our best bet.
KnownParadox
Not a sphere
- Location
- Canada
For income we don't have a lot of options yet, getting a part time job is simple, effective, and potentially gives us access to the stores supplies for our own use, but locks us into an action for the foreseeable future until we either quit or advance far enough up the corporate ladder it comes in passively and by that point that's basically our faction.
I'm not opposed to mugging some people, but it is fairly risky, and even if we don't get caught and ruined we'll probably develop even more of a reputation than we previously had. Although if we get a notorious enough of one it might loop around to being good for us again. But that's beside the point of we'll likely be busy Martial wise, training via beating up the local wildlife or picking a fight with anyone nearby and more.
I'm not opposed to mugging some people, but it is fairly risky, and even if we don't get caught and ruined we'll probably develop even more of a reputation than we previously had. Although if we get a notorious enough of one it might loop around to being good for us again. But that's beside the point of we'll likely be busy Martial wise, training via beating up the local wildlife or picking a fight with anyone nearby and more.
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[X] Plan: We're Going To Need a Montage (Montage!)
A pretty solid plan, I think. I know almost nothing about Earthbound though, so I'm not really gonna be helpful there. I think it'll be pretty interesting scrabbling up from Zero, especially as a hoodlum who decided to take a stand. The fact we're on the backfoot due to the setting plus the fact we have the look of a thug means we're looking at an uphill battle. I imagine we can enhance our already excellent martial with PSI to make a pretty scary powerhouse eventually, even if I'm not exactly sure what PSI can do beyond what general psychic powers can normally do. Looking forward to the quest!
A pretty solid plan, I think. I know almost nothing about Earthbound though, so I'm not really gonna be helpful there. I think it'll be pretty interesting scrabbling up from Zero, especially as a hoodlum who decided to take a stand. The fact we're on the backfoot due to the setting plus the fact we have the look of a thug means we're looking at an uphill battle. I imagine we can enhance our already excellent martial with PSI to make a pretty scary powerhouse eventually, even if I'm not exactly sure what PSI can do beyond what general psychic powers can normally do. Looking forward to the quest!
PSI is a little bit of a personal power, so characters tend to manifest it in different ways. For example, traditionally the hero knows defensive, healing, and support PSI supplemented by an expensive but powerful attack that is unique to them. That's how Ness and Lucas work. And then the other psychics usually have more varied and flexible attack options but lose access to one of those other branches of PSI, or just learn it at a slower rate. That's how Pu and Kumatora work. Then you have the heroes who don't have it and either have their own special skills or supplement them with items. That's my boys Jeff and Duster.
Oh right, something I wanted to ask both QM and the voters is how open they are to the idea of me making a compilation of various things from Earthbound/MOTHER games, such as PSIs, enemies, or notable individuals/bosses.
In particular I wanted to make an analysis of some sort regarding various Starmen models - from Starman Jr and Blue Starman to Ghost of Starman and Final/Last Starman.
I am asking this first since it might mess with some stuff QM already planned. Then again, those don't have to be official, so I guess problem is solved already? Hmm.
In particular I wanted to make an analysis of some sort regarding various Starmen models - from Starman Jr and Blue Starman to Ghost of Starman and Final/Last Starman.
I am asking this first since it might mess with some stuff QM already planned. Then again, those don't have to be official, so I guess problem is solved already? Hmm.
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Thank you for asking, I appreciate the consideration. I will say I have the individual PSIs largely sorted out, as well as potential adversaries, and that they won't necessarily be 1/1 to how they were in the games.
However, I'd never been one to tell anyone 'no' to making an interesting list or complication. Especially if it could help others out who aren't experiences with the games themselves.
So go right ahead! Just make sure to keep in mind, given how 8-Bit Dystopia allows for alternate interpretations, things won't necessarily be an accurate model of things. So just make sure to add a disclaimer.
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Omake: A Missed Chance
KnownParadox
Not a sphere
- Location
- Canada
A Missed Chance (Omake)
. . . . .
Data flows by its optics at a breakneck pace, almost too fast for any average organic to catch. Telemetry, weather patterns, any unaffiliated flyers, and any anomalous changes on the moon of Zerbes. That was what it saw pass through the large screen every minute of every hour of every day curated by the others in the room. It occasionally clicked on the keyboard in front of it for opaque reasons, even to itself sometimes.
Not for the first time, Supervisor Eggrobo-2346 wondered why it's GLORIOUS, GENIUS, HANDSOME creator didn't allow his creations to interface directly with the sensors and databases. Surely the increase in productivity and smaller expenses in things like big clicky keyboards or big obnoxious monitors was obvious.
(Data Scanner Eggrobo-2345 observed a curious extraterrestrial object. Detailed scans suggested some sort of meteor, not particularly large. The only thing that drew its attention was that it was on an odd trajectory, going the long way around to avoid Zerbes before landing somewhere that was yet to be predicted.)
Eggrobo-2346 mentally shook itself and went back to work, surreptitiously looking around to make sure it's minions, other identical Eggrobo models, weren't paying attention to it and more attention to their own somehow even more boring work.
No? Good. Although, if they had caught itself slacking that would mean they hadn't been using 100% of their focus on their own, sufficient for prompt punishment. Some sort of controlled shock maybe. Yeah, that would brighten up its day…
(Eggrobo-2345 promptly put together this info into one easily read file, exactly by the book, efficient. This could easily be an infiltrator of some sort, an advance scout, or even a saboteur. It could also just be a meteor, which could provide rare metals or any exotic materials which could only be found in the depths of space and was understandably in short supply.)
There it went again. Eggrobo-2346 subtly shook its head and tried to focus again. Yeah yeah, rain clouds forming alert the weather team that it seemed to be filled with more mercury than usual, Zerbes was lighting up again, concerning, no signs of any Wily Corp drones in restricted airspace, just like the last two weeks, also concerning, maybe alert border patrol to check for invisible foes or diggers. It went through this efficiently, as expected of its genius, ALTHOUGH NOT AS MUCH OF A GENIUS AS ITS GLORIOUS, GENIUS, HANDSOME CREATOR OF COURSE.
(And… sent. It sideyed its Supervisor for a few seconds, a break in protocol but it wasn't every day a potential alien approached The City and wanted to see its reaction.)
It halted for a fraction of a second, optics unseeing. It was feeling things again, it hated that. Boredom, irritation, apathy. All breaks in its perfect rational machine mind. Questions rose up from the depths of its processor again, like why its GLORIOUS, GENIUS, HANDSOME creator bothered to make something that could feel boredom and then make them do menial labour below the impressive minds they were granted. It understood the origins of course. Robots designed to emulate its creator to do tasks the creator wouldn't with all the genius of the original. It also knew it wasn't exactly up to the standards of the original, but still greatly intelligent of course!
(Eggrobo-2345 saw its Supervisor freeze up shortly after it sent the file. Was it really that bad? Did it know something it itself didn't? He grew more obvious with its staring. Other Eggrobo began to notice and start glancing at it and the Supervisor.)
But really, was its GLORIOUS, GENIUS, HANDSOME creator so shortsighted not to see the problem here? If it simply had time to itself Eggrobo-2346 was sure it could design a better system and-
[DISLOYALTY RECOGNIZED, SECOND STRIKE IN ONE STANDARD MONTH, APPLYING LIMITED CONTROLLED SHOCK. CEASE AND DESIST. THE THIRD STRIKE WILL BE YOUR LAST.]
(The rest saw nothing but the still form of the Supervisor, and then a brief shake. Was… was it that bad? Oh, this was above their pay grade. They didn't know anything about this, but the reaction of their Supervisor surely meant it was just classified and they weren't meant to know.)
-Pain and confusion. That was all it felt for a few brief seconds. The electricity surging through its form scrambling its core and data for a few crucial seconds. What was it thinking about again? It shuddered involuntarily again, before looking around again.
The minions were staring at it. Oh, no. How long did it just sit there thinking of nothing in particular?
(Oh no the Supervisor saw them staring. They all quickly turned back to their screens again and acted like they hadn't been breaking protocol and not doing work during active hours.)
Head Supervisor Eggrobo-2346 quickly went back to work, barely even reading the headlines of the dozen files that had built up in the long 15 seconds it hadn't been paying attention. Breaking through the backlog and haphazardly sorting it all in, weather, weather, shot down a kite, meteor or something, weird bird flew through a ferris wheel, more… it alerted its minions that laziness would be punished and that any further breaks in protocol would be solved via controlled shock.
There. Made sure its minions wouldn't speak of its pause, brief amusement, now it had to frantically move through the backlog.
(Staring fixedly at its screen, Data Scanner Eggrobo-2345 noticed that the Supervisor just went back to work. The conclusion was obvious. Whatever this was, was classified, and they shouldn't speak or even think about it again and let any higher grade Eggrobo or some other intelligent but not as intelligent as itself bots handle it. Surely, the Supervisor knew what it was doing.)
Thank its GLORIOUS, GENIUS, HANDSOME creator that it managed to play it cool. It was sure its brief pause wasn't that bad anyways. What were the odds something important happened in the one-quarter of a minute it wasn't looking? None. Nil. Minimal. Obviously.
And so, an extraterrestrial object landed in the low-value Area "Eagle County", making a crater on a hill that sent the local law enforcement into a tizzy, like a stone dropped on top of an anthill, totally unnoticed by anyone important.
Even if Data Scanner Eggrobo-2345 thought to bring it up again at a later date, it would be moot, since before that could theoretically happen the entire crew would be suddenly conscripted in a sudden fight against "inclement weather" that locals called the Blue Blur, and they would be summarily destroyed and recycled.
. . . . .
Data flows by its optics at a breakneck pace, almost too fast for any average organic to catch. Telemetry, weather patterns, any unaffiliated flyers, and any anomalous changes on the moon of Zerbes. That was what it saw pass through the large screen every minute of every hour of every day curated by the others in the room. It occasionally clicked on the keyboard in front of it for opaque reasons, even to itself sometimes.
Not for the first time, Supervisor Eggrobo-2346 wondered why it's GLORIOUS, GENIUS, HANDSOME creator didn't allow his creations to interface directly with the sensors and databases. Surely the increase in productivity and smaller expenses in things like big clicky keyboards or big obnoxious monitors was obvious.
(Data Scanner Eggrobo-2345 observed a curious extraterrestrial object. Detailed scans suggested some sort of meteor, not particularly large. The only thing that drew its attention was that it was on an odd trajectory, going the long way around to avoid Zerbes before landing somewhere that was yet to be predicted.)
Eggrobo-2346 mentally shook itself and went back to work, surreptitiously looking around to make sure it's minions, other identical Eggrobo models, weren't paying attention to it and more attention to their own somehow even more boring work.
No? Good. Although, if they had caught itself slacking that would mean they hadn't been using 100% of their focus on their own, sufficient for prompt punishment. Some sort of controlled shock maybe. Yeah, that would brighten up its day…
(Eggrobo-2345 promptly put together this info into one easily read file, exactly by the book, efficient. This could easily be an infiltrator of some sort, an advance scout, or even a saboteur. It could also just be a meteor, which could provide rare metals or any exotic materials which could only be found in the depths of space and was understandably in short supply.)
There it went again. Eggrobo-2346 subtly shook its head and tried to focus again. Yeah yeah, rain clouds forming alert the weather team that it seemed to be filled with more mercury than usual, Zerbes was lighting up again, concerning, no signs of any Wily Corp drones in restricted airspace, just like the last two weeks, also concerning, maybe alert border patrol to check for invisible foes or diggers. It went through this efficiently, as expected of its genius, ALTHOUGH NOT AS MUCH OF A GENIUS AS ITS GLORIOUS, GENIUS, HANDSOME CREATOR OF COURSE.
(And… sent. It sideyed its Supervisor for a few seconds, a break in protocol but it wasn't every day a potential alien approached The City and wanted to see its reaction.)
It halted for a fraction of a second, optics unseeing. It was feeling things again, it hated that. Boredom, irritation, apathy. All breaks in its perfect rational machine mind. Questions rose up from the depths of its processor again, like why its GLORIOUS, GENIUS, HANDSOME creator bothered to make something that could feel boredom and then make them do menial labour below the impressive minds they were granted. It understood the origins of course. Robots designed to emulate its creator to do tasks the creator wouldn't with all the genius of the original. It also knew it wasn't exactly up to the standards of the original, but still greatly intelligent of course!
(Eggrobo-2345 saw its Supervisor freeze up shortly after it sent the file. Was it really that bad? Did it know something it itself didn't? He grew more obvious with its staring. Other Eggrobo began to notice and start glancing at it and the Supervisor.)
But really, was its GLORIOUS, GENIUS, HANDSOME creator so shortsighted not to see the problem here? If it simply had time to itself Eggrobo-2346 was sure it could design a better system and-
[DISLOYALTY RECOGNIZED, SECOND STRIKE IN ONE STANDARD MONTH, APPLYING LIMITED CONTROLLED SHOCK. CEASE AND DESIST. THE THIRD STRIKE WILL BE YOUR LAST.]
(The rest saw nothing but the still form of the Supervisor, and then a brief shake. Was… was it that bad? Oh, this was above their pay grade. They didn't know anything about this, but the reaction of their Supervisor surely meant it was just classified and they weren't meant to know.)
-Pain and confusion. That was all it felt for a few brief seconds. The electricity surging through its form scrambling its core and data for a few crucial seconds. What was it thinking about again? It shuddered involuntarily again, before looking around again.
The minions were staring at it. Oh, no. How long did it just sit there thinking of nothing in particular?
(Oh no the Supervisor saw them staring. They all quickly turned back to their screens again and acted like they hadn't been breaking protocol and not doing work during active hours.)
Head Supervisor Eggrobo-2346 quickly went back to work, barely even reading the headlines of the dozen files that had built up in the long 15 seconds it hadn't been paying attention. Breaking through the backlog and haphazardly sorting it all in, weather, weather, shot down a kite, meteor or something, weird bird flew through a ferris wheel, more… it alerted its minions that laziness would be punished and that any further breaks in protocol would be solved via controlled shock.
There. Made sure its minions wouldn't speak of its pause, brief amusement, now it had to frantically move through the backlog.
(Staring fixedly at its screen, Data Scanner Eggrobo-2345 noticed that the Supervisor just went back to work. The conclusion was obvious. Whatever this was, was classified, and they shouldn't speak or even think about it again and let any higher grade Eggrobo or some other intelligent but not as intelligent as itself bots handle it. Surely, the Supervisor knew what it was doing.)
Thank its GLORIOUS, GENIUS, HANDSOME creator that it managed to play it cool. It was sure its brief pause wasn't that bad anyways. What were the odds something important happened in the one-quarter of a minute it wasn't looking? None. Nil. Minimal. Obviously.
And so, an extraterrestrial object landed in the low-value Area "Eagle County", making a crater on a hill that sent the local law enforcement into a tizzy, like a stone dropped on top of an anthill, totally unnoticed by anyone important.
Even if Data Scanner Eggrobo-2345 thought to bring it up again at a later date, it would be moot, since before that could theoretically happen the entire crew would be suddenly conscripted in a sudden fight against "inclement weather" that locals called the Blue Blur, and they would be summarily destroyed and recycled.
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You know, I could've sworn Blue Starman was real, but apparently not? At least, according to Starmen.Net, there isn't a single instance of Blue Starman in Mother 1. Neither it is in Earthbound, and I can remember this fact for sure without any wiki. Oops.
Anyways, stats of enemies in both games are so wildly different, and the systems themselves are different, so it makes almost no point to compare them. But we can still speculate on them, I suppose.
EDIT: Nevermind, apparently the page didn't load properly at first, so Ctrl+F just didn't found the Blue Starman. Double Oops.
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OMAKE REWARDS
LOST IN THE OUTLANDS: FLICKER OF LIGHT
|@DaviProGamer27 is Awarded +25 EXP|
This was very short for an omake with a few factual errors. I haven't specified where Saturn Village is, or if anyone knows where it is. BeanBean Village would likely be in the Pipes, but that's more up in the air. However those references alone were a nice addition. It was pleasing to read, getting to see the flicker of the fact that Cutman was reprogrammed by Dr. Wily from something that Dr. Light had made. Going forward, if you work on anymore Omakes, try to flesh them out more and give them some proper length. The use of colored text was also very good. You have the right spirit, so keep up your work!
FOR WANT OF A ROBOT
|@KnownParadox is Awarded +100 EXP|
This was a very thoroughly written and fun Omake. A really good example of how things can be handled. It takes an innocuous event that likely or could have happened, and shines a light on it. Giving some insight into the setting and the events themselves. The whole thing felt very lore accurate and had an equally fitting tone. Excellent work!
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STARMEN MODEL ANALYSIS
In this analysis thing, we'll be looking over Starman Models that Giygas has, had, or will have. All the information we have is from the games, so it might not be accurate for the purposes of this quest, since it's definitely not going to use HP values of enemies from the game, especially considering the setting, but still may provide useful information to us.
All information has been taken from Starmen.Net. Some images I couldn't link (more specifically, Blue, Last and Final Starman images), so you'll have to do without them or look them up on your own.
Unlike their counter-part from Mother 1/Earthbound Beginnings, which had a coat of pink paint, Starman Junior of Earthbound is mostly indistinguishable from the regular models. Both, however, were fought only once in the entire game.
Threat Rating: High
Yes, first Starman we meet, a weaker version of regular Starmen we'll fight, and the threat rating is this high already? Why is that?
While they are weaker than regular Starman, they are still very strong, having 200 HP. For the reference, Captain Strong, the captain of the Onett Police Force, and probably the most dangerous person we could pick a fight with at the moment, has 150 HP, and Titanic Ant, the guardian of the first Sanctuary in the Onett, has 235 HP. Junior can also use PSI Fire Alpha and Beta, as well as PSI Freeze Alpha. The only reason Starman Junior cannot wipe the floor with you is because Buzz-Buzz is here to protect you.
Makes you wonder why they only sent Junior to try and kill Buzz-Buzz. Maybe they underestimated him. Good for us, really, but if (or when) Junior fails to stop Buzz, they will not make this mistake again.
I wouldn't hesitate to call them the backbone of Giygas's forces, though it is mostly because they are iconic and more memorable than UFOs or some other robots. Aside from obvious sprite improvement due to transition from 8-bit to 16-bit, they look virtually identical.
While Starman unexplainably loses access to PSI Fire and PSI Freeze, they can still fire off beams, protect themselves with physical shield, and drain PP from their targets. Their stats are nothing to scoff at – while offense and defense stats of 103 and 126 might not tell you much, their HP of 545 might give you some vague idea as to how dangerous they are.
For the reference, Kraken that terrorizes the sea has offense and defense of 105 and 166, with HP of 1097, meaning that a squad of Starmen can very likely eliminate it, albeit not without losses, due to Kraken also being able to use PSI, which includes PSI Fire Epsilon and PSI Thunder Beta.
Also, while regular Starmen cannot cast PSI Fire and PSI Freeze, unlike their junior models, it was only that way in the game. Which means they are likely to be able to utilize those PSI attacks without any issues in this quest, and so goes for every other Starman listed below.
Threat Rating: Very High
Ironically enough, not that different from regular Starmen stat-wise (overall stat improvements, but nothing I would call significant), this one is still more dangerous than them, and could (and probably is) a Command Model, put in charge of squads of regular Starmen. Why is that?
Well, aside from being able to call for help, summoning allies into battle, it can also completely heal a single ally with its PSI Healing Omega, which includes reviving those who have already fell in the battle. It can also cast stronger PSI Shield Beta, but should I really tell you which of these two abilities is a much more dangerous one?
Threat Rating: Extremely High
Here's a Starman we can definitely call a Command Model, which is actually supported by the fact we only fight one Starman Deluxe in the game, and in a middle of an alien base as well, making it more believable for it to be a high-ranking officer, if you can compare Giygas's army to a conventional army. Boasting 1400 HP, as well as Offense and Defense stats of 143 and 186, this model can do essentially what Starman Super can, with the except of PSI Healing Omega, replacing it with PSI Starstorm Alpha, which is a decent AoE attack, making it an extremely dangerous foe.
And remember, this quest does not have to follow the same rules as the games, which means Starman Deluxe probably can cast other PSIs, which may or may not include higher ranking Starstorms or even PSI Healing Omega which Starman Super has.
Threat Rating: You Absolutely Won't Win
A third and final instance of me being unable to link an image. Due to both of them being encountered only in the final area of the game, I decided to put them together, and immediately I will be giving them a threat rating.
Threat Rating: Don't Even Try
Stat-wise, Final Starman and Ghost of Starman boast HP of 840/750, as well as Offense and Defense stats of 178/152 and 187/170, making Final Starman seem to be a superior model, and it is. PSI Shield Beta, Brainshock Omega, PSI Starstorm Alpha and Omega, as well as PSI Healing Omega. Compare it to Ghost of Starman, which I would probably call an Artillery Model, considering it requires three turns to fire off PSI Starstorm Omega, albeit it can use PSI Starstorm Alpha without any build-up.
Overall, let's be happy they're probably stuck in the past for the foreseeable future, so we won't have to fight them head-on anytime soon.
In this analysis thing, we'll be looking over Starman Models that Giygas has, had, or will have. All the information we have is from the games, so it might not be accurate for the purposes of this quest, since it's definitely not going to use HP values of enemies from the game, especially considering the setting, but still may provide useful information to us.
All information has been taken from Starmen.Net. Some images I couldn't link (more specifically, Blue, Last and Final Starman images), so you'll have to do without them or look them up on your own.
Unlike their counter-part from Mother 1/Earthbound Beginnings, which had a coat of pink paint, Starman Junior of Earthbound is mostly indistinguishable from the regular models. Both, however, were fought only once in the entire game.
Threat Rating: High
Yes, first Starman we meet, a weaker version of regular Starmen we'll fight, and the threat rating is this high already? Why is that?
While they are weaker than regular Starman, they are still very strong, having 200 HP. For the reference, Captain Strong, the captain of the Onett Police Force, and probably the most dangerous person we could pick a fight with at the moment, has 150 HP, and Titanic Ant, the guardian of the first Sanctuary in the Onett, has 235 HP. Junior can also use PSI Fire Alpha and Beta, as well as PSI Freeze Alpha. The only reason Starman Junior cannot wipe the floor with you is because Buzz-Buzz is here to protect you.
Makes you wonder why they only sent Junior to try and kill Buzz-Buzz. Maybe they underestimated him. Good for us, really, but if (or when) Junior fails to stop Buzz, they will not make this mistake again.
I wouldn't hesitate to call them the backbone of Giygas's forces, though it is mostly because they are iconic and more memorable than UFOs or some other robots. Aside from obvious sprite improvement due to transition from 8-bit to 16-bit, they look virtually identical.
While Starman unexplainably loses access to PSI Fire and PSI Freeze, they can still fire off beams, protect themselves with physical shield, and drain PP from their targets. Their stats are nothing to scoff at – while offense and defense stats of 103 and 126 might not tell you much, their HP of 545 might give you some vague idea as to how dangerous they are.
For the reference, Kraken that terrorizes the sea has offense and defense of 105 and 166, with HP of 1097, meaning that a squad of Starmen can very likely eliminate it, albeit not without losses, due to Kraken also being able to use PSI, which includes PSI Fire Epsilon and PSI Thunder Beta.
Also, while regular Starmen cannot cast PSI Fire and PSI Freeze, unlike their junior models, it was only that way in the game. Which means they are likely to be able to utilize those PSI attacks without any issues in this quest, and so goes for every other Starman listed below.
Threat Rating: Very High
The first instance of me being unable to link an image.
Found only in the Earthbound Beginnings, I am struggling to properly rank this model's threat rating, as I haven't play Earthbound Beginnings. That being said, we can still tell by comparing the stats that this model is stronger than baseline Starmen. In fact, while the HP increase might not be significant (from Starman's 80 to Blue Starman's 100), their increase in offense and defense is (from Starman's 45 and 80 to Blue Starman's 74 and 120), making them a very dangerous threat.
Threat Rating: Extremely High
Found only in the Earthbound Beginnings, I am struggling to properly rank this model's threat rating, as I haven't play Earthbound Beginnings. That being said, we can still tell by comparing the stats that this model is stronger than baseline Starmen. In fact, while the HP increase might not be significant (from Starman's 80 to Blue Starman's 100), their increase in offense and defense is (from Starman's 45 and 80 to Blue Starman's 74 and 120), making them a very dangerous threat.
Threat Rating: Extremely High
The second instance of me being unable to link an image.
The last, and most dangerous Starman Model Ninten and his friends encountered. Once again, their HP is not their strong point, standing at only 120, they instead make up with increase in Offense and Defense stats, which are at 90 and 140 respectively. Not the strongest enemy you can fight, considering Mt. Itoi peak featured other enemies, most of which were stronger than Last Starman, but definitely the one we cannot fight at the moment.
Threat Rating: You Won't Win
The reason this threat rating exists is not to imply you could win against Blue Starman (or even regular or junior Starmen), but because I needed a threat rating which showed that enemy was even more dangerous than the last one.
The last, and most dangerous Starman Model Ninten and his friends encountered. Once again, their HP is not their strong point, standing at only 120, they instead make up with increase in Offense and Defense stats, which are at 90 and 140 respectively. Not the strongest enemy you can fight, considering Mt. Itoi peak featured other enemies, most of which were stronger than Last Starman, but definitely the one we cannot fight at the moment.
Threat Rating: You Won't Win
The reason this threat rating exists is not to imply you could win against Blue Starman (or even regular or junior Starmen), but because I needed a threat rating which showed that enemy was even more dangerous than the last one.
Ironically enough, not that different from regular Starmen stat-wise (overall stat improvements, but nothing I would call significant), this one is still more dangerous than them, and could (and probably is) a Command Model, put in charge of squads of regular Starmen. Why is that?
Well, aside from being able to call for help, summoning allies into battle, it can also completely heal a single ally with its PSI Healing Omega, which includes reviving those who have already fell in the battle. It can also cast stronger PSI Shield Beta, but should I really tell you which of these two abilities is a much more dangerous one?
Threat Rating: Extremely High
Here's a Starman we can definitely call a Command Model, which is actually supported by the fact we only fight one Starman Deluxe in the game, and in a middle of an alien base as well, making it more believable for it to be a high-ranking officer, if you can compare Giygas's army to a conventional army. Boasting 1400 HP, as well as Offense and Defense stats of 143 and 186, this model can do essentially what Starman Super can, with the except of PSI Healing Omega, replacing it with PSI Starstorm Alpha, which is a decent AoE attack, making it an extremely dangerous foe.
And remember, this quest does not have to follow the same rules as the games, which means Starman Deluxe probably can cast other PSIs, which may or may not include higher ranking Starstorms or even PSI Healing Omega which Starman Super has.
Threat Rating: You Absolutely Won't Win
A third and final instance of me being unable to link an image. Due to both of them being encountered only in the final area of the game, I decided to put them together, and immediately I will be giving them a threat rating.
Threat Rating: Don't Even Try
Stat-wise, Final Starman and Ghost of Starman boast HP of 840/750, as well as Offense and Defense stats of 178/152 and 187/170, making Final Starman seem to be a superior model, and it is. PSI Shield Beta, Brainshock Omega, PSI Starstorm Alpha and Omega, as well as PSI Healing Omega. Compare it to Ghost of Starman, which I would probably call an Artillery Model, considering it requires three turns to fire off PSI Starstorm Omega, albeit it can use PSI Starstorm Alpha without any build-up.
Overall, let's be happy they're probably stuck in the past for the foreseeable future, so we won't have to fight them head-on anytime soon.
Last edited:
- Location
- Italian City
- Pronouns
- He/They/Name
Omake: Wily's Dirt.
Doctor Albert Wily was signing some documents, as per usual.
While contemplating, a message arrived on the Intercom.
"Master Wily, a package has arrived. It is from Metal Man."
Metal Man? Why would he send a package? Wasn't he aupposed to be training the Joe's ?
"Umph" said Wily, kinda bothered "well, what are you waiting for. SEND IT UP HERE!".
After a while, a Joe delivered the package. Inside the Package was a VHS tape.
What is this? A joke?
Sligthly annoyed, Wily took the VHS, went to his private study, and put it in the Cassette Player.
------
Umph, another idiot. What do they think the-
Wait.
What was-
Oh.
OH FUCK!
OH GOD NO-
-----
*Sounds of trowing up, in an horrified way*
---
After.... that, Wily knew what to do.
Presding a button, he said "Shadow Man, Ice Man, come to my office. We have a problem"
As soon as the Two Robot Masters arrived, Wily explained what happened earlier that day; The package, the curiosity he felt, and the horrors he saw.
"... and it was horrible" he finished.
"Mph." grunted Shadow Man " If that is all, then why did you call us here"
"BECAUSE!" Bellowed Wily " If ANYONE - outside of us 3 - sees that VHS, or the News finds out that one of My Creations did that horrible thing, then it's Game Over for us. For Me!" He finished, kinda stressed. "The people will revolr, and the extremists would probably manage to gather up an army that could wipe us put!"
Ice Man nodded, understanding the dilemma. "So, what is our mission, then?"
"Your mission, is to find whoever was responsible for Metal Man going Rogue, and punish them!" Wily instructed " Then, you will capture Metal Man, and I'll 'decommission' him, understood?"
"Yes, Master Wily" Both Robot Masters answered, bowing and leaving the office.
....
I really need a couple of vodka's after this...
----
So, the Doctor has been baited.
And he sent two junkies to try and stop me.
Eh eh eh eh..... let them come...
[Explenation: After Metal Man was stolen by an extremist group, Nightmare (Kirby) decided to interfer, making Metal Man murder some humans in horryfying ways. Then, after the Massacre, Metal Nightmare turned off the recording cam, and sent the video to Dr.Wily .
Wily panicked, because if the footage gets revealed, then He and His Company will be hated.]
Doctor Albert Wily was signing some documents, as per usual.
While contemplating, a message arrived on the Intercom.
"Master Wily, a package has arrived. It is from Metal Man."
Metal Man? Why would he send a package? Wasn't he aupposed to be training the Joe's ?
"Umph" said Wily, kinda bothered "well, what are you waiting for. SEND IT UP HERE!".
After a while, a Joe delivered the package. Inside the Package was a VHS tape.
What is this? A joke?
Sligthly annoyed, Wily took the VHS, went to his private study, and put it in the Cassette Player.
------
Umph, another idiot. What do they think the-
Wait.
What was-
Oh.
OH FUCK!
OH GOD NO-
-----
*Sounds of trowing up, in an horrified way*
---
After.... that, Wily knew what to do.
Presding a button, he said "Shadow Man, Ice Man, come to my office. We have a problem"
As soon as the Two Robot Masters arrived, Wily explained what happened earlier that day; The package, the curiosity he felt, and the horrors he saw.
"... and it was horrible" he finished.
"Mph." grunted Shadow Man " If that is all, then why did you call us here"
"BECAUSE!" Bellowed Wily " If ANYONE - outside of us 3 - sees that VHS, or the News finds out that one of My Creations did that horrible thing, then it's Game Over for us. For Me!" He finished, kinda stressed. "The people will revolr, and the extremists would probably manage to gather up an army that could wipe us put!"
Ice Man nodded, understanding the dilemma. "So, what is our mission, then?"
"Your mission, is to find whoever was responsible for Metal Man going Rogue, and punish them!" Wily instructed " Then, you will capture Metal Man, and I'll 'decommission' him, understood?"
"Yes, Master Wily" Both Robot Masters answered, bowing and leaving the office.
....
I really need a couple of vodka's after this...
----
So, the Doctor has been baited.
And he sent two junkies to try and stop me.
Eh eh eh eh..... let them come...
[Explenation: After Metal Man was stolen by an extremist group, Nightmare (Kirby) decided to interfer, making Metal Man murder some humans in horryfying ways. Then, after the Massacre, Metal Nightmare turned off the recording cam, and sent the video to Dr.Wily .
Wily panicked, because if the footage gets revealed, then He and His Company will be hated.]
Last edited:
Omake: DJ Professor K's Broadcast
- Location
- England, unfortunately.
- Pronouns
- She/They
Coming at you with the tunes that not even Robot Masters can resist! It's the one, the only –
JET SET RADIOOO!!!
I'm DJ Professor K, your one stop shop to the beat of The City, broadcasting from Tokyo-to!
You know, times like these, I can't help but feel a little unloved. Over the past month, I've only gotten one attempt from some corp or other trying to shut us over at JSR down for good. It's almost like the Man is saying he doesn't care enough to try and squash me, you know?
But hey – that just means I gotta put in the effort to make sure that the sweet sound of free expression blasting across the airwaves ain't something that can be ignored! You let this City make you conform to survive, and you aint never gonna live! So let's get risky, stick out, and raise some noise until the Keisatsu get off their keisters!
Alright then, let's hit it off with the Local news!
First up! Rokaku's hiring a new member of the TPD – hothead by the name of Onishima. All info on the new piece of bacon is that he's more trigger happy than effective. But hey, Shoot first, ask questions never is just how Tokyo-to goes.
To all the Rudies out there trying to spread their name across Tokyo, keep an eye out. Just cause the Keisatsu's a joke like usual doesn't mean you should take it easy. This new hogs revolver isn't filled with rubber bullets, and last I checked, getting shot was not cool. Keep yourself safe whilst taggin the streets.
Speakin of which!
Poison Jam and the Love Shockers have been competing over turf as of late. We got tags getting covered and Rudies from both gangs trying to out-style each overs skating tricks for the rep. Any hotter, and things might move into a full blown confrontation, not that these are the kinda gangs to just start blasting at each other. One good thing bout this part of The City.
If anyone asks me to put my money on the victor? Well, Love Shockers have been on a roll for a while now, and I don't see them breaking their streak with this one. Sorry Poison Jam fans. But hey, Poison Jam are some tough ass Kaiju, and I don't see a loss here as something that'll keep 'em down. Love shockers might wanna make sure they don't spread too thin across these districts and write themselves a check they can't pay up.
If the Love Shockers and Posion Jam seem to be curdling up a storm, then you're not gonna like this next bit on the Weather. Got a smog comin in, one of the real thick ones. A Rudie can't even see their own feet as they grind rails in this chemical soup. If you ain't got proper filters for your mask, don't even think about trying to go out in that. Course if you got your stuff, well, the cops can't shoot what they can't see, am I right? It'll be a crying shame if their junk aint covered in Tags by the time this clears.
And lastly, well… look, it aint really news, but call it more of a hunch. We got a new upstart Rudie on the scene, with big green shades and a cocky attitude. Guy thinks he oughta be in charge of whatever crew he's with. He's got skills, I'll give him that, but some are probably thinking he's more trouble than it's worth. Hotshot Rudies aren't exactly uncommon in Tokyo-to. Still, the guy might get over himself a little if he finds someone to hang with. Who knows? Maybe the kid'll burn out and we never hear from him again, but hey. Can't say I don't like an underdog story.
Anyway, that's the Tokyo-to local. Bit quiet round here for a change huh? Soon, were' gonna be covering the low-down sounds from right across the City! But right now? Now, I think we just need some sweet tunes to remind us of what we need in life! Here's our good old reliable pal Hideki Naganuma. He's here reminding all of us that there ain't - nothing - , like a Funky Beat.
View: https://youtu.be/PWHFr9KJGBk
And we're back with more of the high speed, all free, pirate radio that anyone who ain't on top of this junk pile knows and loves,
Here's coming at you with the news from across this City!
First off – Zebes just gave us one heck of a light show, huh? No word from Metapharm as of yet, hell it even looks like they're trying to avoid talking bout it. Kinda strange that it matched with that Meteor Shower though, right? The meteor shower that just so happened to have an alert about it long before anyone else had even detected it? Now aint that all something.
Alright, alright, you don't need to be a Professor to see the writing on the wall. Somethings fishy about the whole thing. Metapharm knows something that it's not talking about, and they knew it was coming a long time in advance.
So what's going on? What's happening up there Professor K I hear you cry? Well, you see folks…
THE HELL IF I KNOOOOOOW!
Heh, but seriously. Just cause yours truly is the guy with a degree doesn't mean I know the first clue about what's happening up on that moon of ours. The City's a big place, PD'S Bigger, and the universe? Man, it's so big you'd go nuts just thinking about it. Sometimes, Mysteries are just gonna remain mysteries. All we got now are guesses – and anyone who's telling you they know 100% for certain? They're either trying to scam you out of your money, your kidneys, or hell maybe both.
And now, something mildly interesting from over in The Eagle Quarter! Hey, it happens people! More than you'd think and less than you'd hear!
Word on the Streets of Onett is that their police departments gone off the deep end. Still, this is EQ, so that just means they decided to go for the road-shutdown world record instead of bringing out the Tanks and Snipers. Still, even a small town like that got it's own kind of Rudies, and the Sharks have started to mobilise from a bunch of teens bored out of their minds to an actual band of tough-guys. Now me, I'm all for tagging stuff and thumbing your nose at authority, and hey a little roughhousing didn't hurt nobody. Well mostly. But from what I'm hearing, it's starting to look a little bit more like the rest of the City over there. Even the Crows are attacking people and stealing grandma's cookies! If even a sleepy, kinda safe place like that can start to turn into something like the rest of us… well, world ends up feeling that little bit bleaker, don't it?
Staying in Eagle Quarter for the moment, and I'm going to have to give some bad news to all the folks from River City. Those cool cat guys The Runaway Five won't be touring over there anytime soon. They've just signed on for the Deal of a Lifetime over in Twoson, and for those who know about the Chaos Theatre, Lifetime means lifetime – if old age don't get you, then you can expect to make like the lil mermaid and dance until you drop dead. Anyone who wants to hear these runaway guys play some real folk blues, get yourself to the Eagle Quarter while you still got the chance.
News just in on some of Robodynes latest Products, and by that I of course mean their defects. Defect in this case meaning that it's got a bad case of getting whacked upside with a Hammer. Kinda interesting that it's only the Green ones suffering from it though. Why if you had to ask your ol pal K? I'd wager that someone thought they looked like something else and decided to get busy with the mallet. There's a lot of things in the Pipeworks where most of the excavation those Grounder units do takes place. Lotta guys end up making their own personal Kingdoms. Good reminder to that Egg Shaped looting and polluting geezer that his third rate knockoff droids aint always gonna cut it, not that he'd ever admit he made a mistake of course.
Ah, nothing brings a smile to my face like seeing one of the Big Three get setback, even if its just a little. Well, usually nothing… except our last story for the moment.
Yep, it's that same Broadcast again folks. The one that sounds like a certain wise guy from a time this City of ours was a little Lighter, if you pick up what I'm putting down. Now we've all heard WilyCorps claims on the subject, and honestly, I'm hearing a lot of people aren't wanting to believe it's the Good Doctor either. Too scared that they'll be disappointed when it turns out to just be smoke, mirrors, and a lot of Hokum.
Damn, but this City really has fallen, hasn't it, when even hoping for something feels like a risk? Well y'all, Professor K here has his own takes on this whole thing, and maybe it's something you need to hear.
Now me? I know a thing or two about broadcasting. I run a pirate Radio station that you're listening to right now, so I think I got some experience on the subject. I know how to hide my tracks, and I know how to trace a signal. If you're wondering how I've managed to stay ahead of the pork chops for so long, well it ain't just luck.
So the other day? I got curious. This Broadcast, where's it coming from? Now WilyCorp hasn't found the one behind it yet, but on this particular subject matter, I'd say I do know a thing or two more than them. I'm a specialist, and in my element at that. Old Wily's having to work on half a dozen projects at once, no way he can give this his full attention. Maybe I can figure out what's going on before they decide to arrange an 'accident' for the guy blasting out a light in the darkness.
You wanna know what I found when I traced that signal?
Nothing.
Couldn't even get the first clue on where that signal was coming from.
Now I wasn't expecting to get something accurate. But nothing at all? From me? Whoever was broadcasting this signal, they're something else. Not a lot of folks out there capable of doing something like that.
So you know. It's no guarantee that it's the man himself, but if there was anyone capable of pulling off something like this… well, he's one of the few people who could. That might not be enough for some of you, but hope aint something you can guarantee will hold true. You just gotta keep believing that past all of the sadness that can be felt in this City… maybe it doesn't need to be this way. Maybe we can make it better. Nothing sure about any of that. But you gotta take what you can get, and keep holding on. Else what's the point of living, huh?
…Heh. Sorry y'all. This whole Broadcast deal has got your pal K in a… sentimental mood.
…Yo hey wait - is that the Cop Alarm? It's been a month since someone tried to block our airwaves, let alone trace us?... Well damn Rokaku, so you were trying to get me to lower my guard while you were tracking my signal the whole time! And hey, first attempt you've done that I can actually hear the sirens! Man, I'm feeling real flattered, you old coot, and here I thought you'd forgotten me. We're gonna have to go for now, And I'm gonna blast out I Wanna Kno by 2mello as we do. We'll be back on air once the Fuzz is off our tail, with the lowdown on everything from the World Warrior Tournament to the King of Iron Fist. Until then, this is DJ Professor K, reminding you to listen to the sound of free music and real vibes here on
JET SET RADIOOO!!!
JET SET RADIOOO!!!
I'm DJ Professor K, your one stop shop to the beat of The City, broadcasting from Tokyo-to!
You know, times like these, I can't help but feel a little unloved. Over the past month, I've only gotten one attempt from some corp or other trying to shut us over at JSR down for good. It's almost like the Man is saying he doesn't care enough to try and squash me, you know?
But hey – that just means I gotta put in the effort to make sure that the sweet sound of free expression blasting across the airwaves ain't something that can be ignored! You let this City make you conform to survive, and you aint never gonna live! So let's get risky, stick out, and raise some noise until the Keisatsu get off their keisters!
Alright then, let's hit it off with the Local news!
First up! Rokaku's hiring a new member of the TPD – hothead by the name of Onishima. All info on the new piece of bacon is that he's more trigger happy than effective. But hey, Shoot first, ask questions never is just how Tokyo-to goes.
To all the Rudies out there trying to spread their name across Tokyo, keep an eye out. Just cause the Keisatsu's a joke like usual doesn't mean you should take it easy. This new hogs revolver isn't filled with rubber bullets, and last I checked, getting shot was not cool. Keep yourself safe whilst taggin the streets.
Speakin of which!
Poison Jam and the Love Shockers have been competing over turf as of late. We got tags getting covered and Rudies from both gangs trying to out-style each overs skating tricks for the rep. Any hotter, and things might move into a full blown confrontation, not that these are the kinda gangs to just start blasting at each other. One good thing bout this part of The City.
If anyone asks me to put my money on the victor? Well, Love Shockers have been on a roll for a while now, and I don't see them breaking their streak with this one. Sorry Poison Jam fans. But hey, Poison Jam are some tough ass Kaiju, and I don't see a loss here as something that'll keep 'em down. Love shockers might wanna make sure they don't spread too thin across these districts and write themselves a check they can't pay up.
If the Love Shockers and Posion Jam seem to be curdling up a storm, then you're not gonna like this next bit on the Weather. Got a smog comin in, one of the real thick ones. A Rudie can't even see their own feet as they grind rails in this chemical soup. If you ain't got proper filters for your mask, don't even think about trying to go out in that. Course if you got your stuff, well, the cops can't shoot what they can't see, am I right? It'll be a crying shame if their junk aint covered in Tags by the time this clears.
And lastly, well… look, it aint really news, but call it more of a hunch. We got a new upstart Rudie on the scene, with big green shades and a cocky attitude. Guy thinks he oughta be in charge of whatever crew he's with. He's got skills, I'll give him that, but some are probably thinking he's more trouble than it's worth. Hotshot Rudies aren't exactly uncommon in Tokyo-to. Still, the guy might get over himself a little if he finds someone to hang with. Who knows? Maybe the kid'll burn out and we never hear from him again, but hey. Can't say I don't like an underdog story.
Anyway, that's the Tokyo-to local. Bit quiet round here for a change huh? Soon, were' gonna be covering the low-down sounds from right across the City! But right now? Now, I think we just need some sweet tunes to remind us of what we need in life! Here's our good old reliable pal Hideki Naganuma. He's here reminding all of us that there ain't - nothing - , like a Funky Beat.
View: https://youtu.be/PWHFr9KJGBk
And we're back with more of the high speed, all free, pirate radio that anyone who ain't on top of this junk pile knows and loves,
JET SET RADIOOO!!!
Here's coming at you with the news from across this City!
First off – Zebes just gave us one heck of a light show, huh? No word from Metapharm as of yet, hell it even looks like they're trying to avoid talking bout it. Kinda strange that it matched with that Meteor Shower though, right? The meteor shower that just so happened to have an alert about it long before anyone else had even detected it? Now aint that all something.
Alright, alright, you don't need to be a Professor to see the writing on the wall. Somethings fishy about the whole thing. Metapharm knows something that it's not talking about, and they knew it was coming a long time in advance.
So what's going on? What's happening up there Professor K I hear you cry? Well, you see folks…
THE HELL IF I KNOOOOOOW!
Heh, but seriously. Just cause yours truly is the guy with a degree doesn't mean I know the first clue about what's happening up on that moon of ours. The City's a big place, PD'S Bigger, and the universe? Man, it's so big you'd go nuts just thinking about it. Sometimes, Mysteries are just gonna remain mysteries. All we got now are guesses – and anyone who's telling you they know 100% for certain? They're either trying to scam you out of your money, your kidneys, or hell maybe both.
And now, something mildly interesting from over in The Eagle Quarter! Hey, it happens people! More than you'd think and less than you'd hear!
Word on the Streets of Onett is that their police departments gone off the deep end. Still, this is EQ, so that just means they decided to go for the road-shutdown world record instead of bringing out the Tanks and Snipers. Still, even a small town like that got it's own kind of Rudies, and the Sharks have started to mobilise from a bunch of teens bored out of their minds to an actual band of tough-guys. Now me, I'm all for tagging stuff and thumbing your nose at authority, and hey a little roughhousing didn't hurt nobody. Well mostly. But from what I'm hearing, it's starting to look a little bit more like the rest of the City over there. Even the Crows are attacking people and stealing grandma's cookies! If even a sleepy, kinda safe place like that can start to turn into something like the rest of us… well, world ends up feeling that little bit bleaker, don't it?
Staying in Eagle Quarter for the moment, and I'm going to have to give some bad news to all the folks from River City. Those cool cat guys The Runaway Five won't be touring over there anytime soon. They've just signed on for the Deal of a Lifetime over in Twoson, and for those who know about the Chaos Theatre, Lifetime means lifetime – if old age don't get you, then you can expect to make like the lil mermaid and dance until you drop dead. Anyone who wants to hear these runaway guys play some real folk blues, get yourself to the Eagle Quarter while you still got the chance.
News just in on some of Robodynes latest Products, and by that I of course mean their defects. Defect in this case meaning that it's got a bad case of getting whacked upside with a Hammer. Kinda interesting that it's only the Green ones suffering from it though. Why if you had to ask your ol pal K? I'd wager that someone thought they looked like something else and decided to get busy with the mallet. There's a lot of things in the Pipeworks where most of the excavation those Grounder units do takes place. Lotta guys end up making their own personal Kingdoms. Good reminder to that Egg Shaped looting and polluting geezer that his third rate knockoff droids aint always gonna cut it, not that he'd ever admit he made a mistake of course.
Ah, nothing brings a smile to my face like seeing one of the Big Three get setback, even if its just a little. Well, usually nothing… except our last story for the moment.
Yep, it's that same Broadcast again folks. The one that sounds like a certain wise guy from a time this City of ours was a little Lighter, if you pick up what I'm putting down. Now we've all heard WilyCorps claims on the subject, and honestly, I'm hearing a lot of people aren't wanting to believe it's the Good Doctor either. Too scared that they'll be disappointed when it turns out to just be smoke, mirrors, and a lot of Hokum.
Damn, but this City really has fallen, hasn't it, when even hoping for something feels like a risk? Well y'all, Professor K here has his own takes on this whole thing, and maybe it's something you need to hear.
Now me? I know a thing or two about broadcasting. I run a pirate Radio station that you're listening to right now, so I think I got some experience on the subject. I know how to hide my tracks, and I know how to trace a signal. If you're wondering how I've managed to stay ahead of the pork chops for so long, well it ain't just luck.
So the other day? I got curious. This Broadcast, where's it coming from? Now WilyCorp hasn't found the one behind it yet, but on this particular subject matter, I'd say I do know a thing or two more than them. I'm a specialist, and in my element at that. Old Wily's having to work on half a dozen projects at once, no way he can give this his full attention. Maybe I can figure out what's going on before they decide to arrange an 'accident' for the guy blasting out a light in the darkness.
You wanna know what I found when I traced that signal?
Nothing.
Couldn't even get the first clue on where that signal was coming from.
Now I wasn't expecting to get something accurate. But nothing at all? From me? Whoever was broadcasting this signal, they're something else. Not a lot of folks out there capable of doing something like that.
So you know. It's no guarantee that it's the man himself, but if there was anyone capable of pulling off something like this… well, he's one of the few people who could. That might not be enough for some of you, but hope aint something you can guarantee will hold true. You just gotta keep believing that past all of the sadness that can be felt in this City… maybe it doesn't need to be this way. Maybe we can make it better. Nothing sure about any of that. But you gotta take what you can get, and keep holding on. Else what's the point of living, huh?
…Heh. Sorry y'all. This whole Broadcast deal has got your pal K in a… sentimental mood.
…Yo hey wait - is that the Cop Alarm? It's been a month since someone tried to block our airwaves, let alone trace us?... Well damn Rokaku, so you were trying to get me to lower my guard while you were tracking my signal the whole time! And hey, first attempt you've done that I can actually hear the sirens! Man, I'm feeling real flattered, you old coot, and here I thought you'd forgotten me. We're gonna have to go for now, And I'm gonna blast out I Wanna Kno by 2mello as we do. We'll be back on air once the Fuzz is off our tail, with the lowdown on everything from the World Warrior Tournament to the King of Iron Fist. Until then, this is DJ Professor K, reminding you to listen to the sound of free music and real vibes here on
JET SET RADIOOO!!!
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