SayakaQuest Thread 10: Glory To The Death

My modified version for anybody interested in making fools of themselves as well.

Check it, I'm a Witch of Hands
You think you can fuckin rock up in my stand?
I'm the Motherfuckin' greatest in this hood,
And goin' Buddy Rich ain't gonna do you no good.

I'll play you like a saxophone,
Take you out like a payday loan
Squash you down with one little finga'
For a corpse yo be a real dead ringa'

So go on, have a seat
Right now, I'm about to drop a beat
And I when I'm done,
I'll leave you a pile of dead bloody meat.
 
[x] Back up and protect Tomo and Yoko.
[x] We need Sukuyo to move up and facetank it so Tomo and Yoko can get back on their feet.
[x] If it goes after us instead of her, use firefists to deter it.
 
[x] Have Suyuko distract it.
Attack...
[X] Middle.(35%) (DR: 61%)
 
Seriously? The very first attack and it guts Tomo and Yoko. It's shit like this that makes me wonder how, despite all of the training/guidance we've given those three, the lack of an efficient, rapid healer (aka Sayaka) means that they're always one bad roll away from a TPK. Then again, seeing as injuries in witch battles with this quest are usually handled like they are on Happy Tree Friends, I wonder how any MG's that lack effective healing powers or a teammate with such last more than a couple weeks after contracting.
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Also: goddamn, I reference SSB's Vs Master Hand (x100) and the next witch is basically witch!MasterHand. It even shoots projectiles out of its index and middle fingers, too. I guess we should be prepared for it to get a speed boost by shooting exhaust out of the hole where its wrist would otherwise be--which, combined with its normal speed, is actually pretty terrifying.
 
I have issues with the face tank vote. Yes Sukuyo can no sell damage up to a certain point. Still that's only 'up to a certain point'. If she rolls poorly, she's going to get nailed just as badly as Tomo/Yoko did. And that has worse implications for us since it was the voters Akane who told her to do it.

If Sukuyo takes an injury here, the fights going to go south and Sukuyo's trust in Akane's going to take a significant hit.
 
As bad an idea as it might sound, it might be better to split the group on this witch. Even if the newbies are hurt, they can still beat any familiars, and it doesn't look like this witch can focus in multiple directions at once. Perhaps it'll get disoriented while trying to focus on all the MGs.

....That, or it just speed KOs each of us before we can help each other.
 
[X] Akane grapple. Climb on the fucking thing and rip its fingers off.

This seems like the most effective way to distract it from the newbies.
 
Sorry. Wrong wording. Since Moid already had Akane attack the thumb, I thought you were voting for the last update. I didn't know you meant for this one, since I think we already busted the thumb.
 
Seriously? The very first attack and it guts Tomo and Yoko. It's shit like this that makes me wonder how, despite all of the training/guidance we've given those three, the lack of an efficient, rapid healer (aka Sayaka) means that they're always one bad roll away from a TPK. Then again, seeing as injuries in witch battles with this quest are usually handled like they are on Happy Tree Friends, I wonder how any MG's that lack effective healing powers or a teammate with such last more than a couple weeks after contracting.

Gee, it's almost like throwing civilian girls into life or death fights with reality warping abominations without any actual combat experience is more likely than not going to kill said civilian girl or something unless they've got a survival based powerset, an extremely good powerset/weapon or they've got tons of magic to throw around. But that's not right, the girls are champions of love and justice! They should be able to overcome all their challenges with the power of friendship and determination! It's not like the entire system is set up to cause them to witchout/die as quickly as possible or anything.:V

And man, it's almost like the girls surviving their horrible injuries prevents them from going home because there'd be questions involved, cutting them off from everything they've known as they expend magic to try and heal the wound enough to pretend everything's normal. And even if they managed that, there'd still be questions on where they vanished to for a couple days whilst they did that. And wouldn't those questions just be awkward. And impossible to answer without lying to their parents. I mean it's not like they can go to a hospital and go "Oh, I'm missing my arm, could you regrow/reattach it for me without telling my parents."

And wouldn't you know it, if the injury's bad enough, why, they might not even be able to hunt, or, god forbid, even fully heal it with their current stock of seeds! Causing them to get ever more deperate as their grief ticks higher and they're completely alone, with no way to hunt for seeds, no friends to help them, and no parents to comfort them. Man, I tell you, it'd sure suck to be in that situation.

Huh. Looking it at it like that, it really WOULD suck to not have a healing powerset or not know someone with a healing powerset. Why, it's almost like being a magical girl is a bad thing or something. But that's crazy, Magical Girls are champions of Love and Justice and win though the power of Hardwork and Guts!
 
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Dude, chill. No need to explode man.

Anyways, yeah, I vote for what I like to call 'Death by a thousand papercuts'.

[X] "DODGE! KEEP MOVING! ONLY ATTACK IF YOU HAVE A OPENING!"
[X] Agro. Keep the witch busy. Piss it off, hurt it, insult its mother, whatever, just keep moving and keep it focused on you
 
Except, IIRC, Kyubey told us the average MG lifetime is about two years. While this is probably skewed by a bunch of early diers and long survivors, it sorta has to mean that a lot of magical girls survive for quite a bit.

Its harder to say how many are in groups and how many are solo, but it seems our situtation is considerably worse then most, but then i believe it was said somewhere (not necessarily in this quest) that approaching walpurgisnight may draw large numbers of high power witches. Or maybe were just unlucky. Or maybe the quest would be boring if 90% of all witches went down without much hassle.
 
[X] "Move those legs, ladies! One, two, three, four!"
[X] Get party speed-boosted.
[X] Attack
-[X] Eye
-[X] Focus party fire. It looks important, so it probably is.

Yes, a reference to workout videos in the middle of a life-or-death battle, after they've taken grevious injuries. Why? Because the absurdity of it will help them detach the situation from reality. It's not a very subtle move, but this is frickin' Akane we're talking about.

As for the eye, with a speed-boost, we should have a better chance of not getting hurt - and at this point, we need to call Sayaka anyways, so it's better if we finish things quickly. More to the point, it's center mass, so a fairly central target. Easy to see, point at, and start attacking en-masse. We've got it rough because CQC versus Master Hand, while I'd imagine ranged attacks would have a lot less danger attached.
 

Except we can't call Sayaka. She's already in the middle of dropping a bombshell on six families, in one day. She's probably trying hard enough not to blame herself for any injuries the newbies get, and if they come back with serious wounds, who do you think the families are gonna label responsible, since they can't interact with bastard-rabbit?

It's best to let Sayaka be in this situation. Anything else (not in the middle of traumatic events), we'd be calling her now.
 

It's not about how good an idea it is to call Sayaka.

You turn your head to see both Tomo with a gaping hole in her side, and Yoko with a missing stomach.

We need Sayaka. Like, as soon as the fight is over, ring ring ring.
Normal humans don't actually heal from missing their stomachs. Gaping side-holes are generally fatal. Because being Meguca is suffering, though, these girls will eventually heal.

Over months, even years of Grief-intensive R&R.

When this fight is over, Akane is calling the healer, and being extremely grateful that she doesn't charge for that shit. Which, by the way, is gonna end badly, when Walmart Noise shows up, and we've got maybe three cleanses left. For the entire team.
 
Busy or not, the newbies can't get by without their internal organs. Calling is the right move- either by cell phone or getting one of them to Kyubeycall her.
 
Now I'm imagining Hitomi working up to her explanation in front of her family, and then seeing Sayaka freeze for a moment, mutter something along the lines of "fuck, she was disembowled?" and hurtle through the nearest window in a blaze of blue light.
 
Except, IIRC, Kyubey told us the average MG lifetime is about two years. While this is probably skewed by a bunch of early diers and long survivors, it sorta has to mean that a lot of magical girls survive for quite a bit.
IIRC, Moid has mentioned that the "two years" statistic is a fairly deceptive mean. Very few girls live for two years; you're either so good that you can make it for way longer (see: Cleopatra, who committed suicide at age 31, or Himiko, who lived well into her seventies), or you're not so good, in which case you're living on borrowed time (unless, like Sayaka here, you can learn enough tricks to stay alive real fast). Homura, Haruko, and maybe Mami were the former, we're the latter. The median lifespan is probably much closer to two months. And that's optimistic.

Fun fact: Kyouko is one of the strongest girls here, and she would have died just a few weeks into her career without Mami's backup. And that was WITH Rosso Fantasma.
 
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