This chapter was better.
Taylor had some mild struggles, and I like the idea that there may be a tinker out there who is being set up as some sort of antagonist. Taylor didn't get much clue as to the ID, and actually had some difficulty finding it, and doesn't know who made it.
I still think you could use some more work giving credit to this chapters antagonist. It's not easy, the fandom hates him, and he is a monster.
Here's an alternative example of what could have gone down:
Coil splitting the timeline when his base got ganked, having one copy go home and the other pretend to get a phone call that makes him go somewhere else would have been better, I think. Sure, his opponents could have set up a trap to capture both at the same time, and it'd have led to the same result, but it'd have made him look like the mildly paranoid ex-Special Forces PRT trooper that he was.
Him just going directly home, single threaded, after his base was gone seems kind of odd, given that he doesn't give any credit to the unwritten rules, and could easily guess that his unknown opponent doesn't either. I mean, they hit his secure facility first, while he was in it. In the original work he was not prone to decision paralysis or lack of action when stymied.
Taylor had some mild struggles, and I like the idea that there may be a tinker out there who is being set up as some sort of antagonist. Taylor didn't get much clue as to the ID, and actually had some difficulty finding it, and doesn't know who made it.
I still think you could use some more work giving credit to this chapters antagonist. It's not easy, the fandom hates him, and he is a monster.
Here's an alternative example of what could have gone down:
Coil splitting the timeline when his base got ganked, having one copy go home and the other pretend to get a phone call that makes him go somewhere else would have been better, I think. Sure, his opponents could have set up a trap to capture both at the same time, and it'd have led to the same result, but it'd have made him look like the mildly paranoid ex-Special Forces PRT trooper that he was.
Him just going directly home, single threaded, after his base was gone seems kind of odd, given that he doesn't give any credit to the unwritten rules, and could easily guess that his unknown opponent doesn't either. I mean, they hit his secure facility first, while he was in it. In the original work he was not prone to decision paralysis or lack of action when stymied.
