I don't presume to know the Empress' sexual preferences. If that's what she is in to, then yes, but for all we know it's full of vat-grown clownfish human hybrid merfolk who can alter their sex at will.
Tabgach's harem maintains both men and women (in separate areas) of all types. Because while it exists primarily for the Emperor/Empress' personal use and raising the children of the concubines they also... ahem... 'reward' particularly distinguished service and sometimes you need one or the other or both. Or so Sun hears.
Speaking of: Yes, Sun is very handsome and could probably be a part of the harem if he really wanted to (at least once his wounds heal), but it would involve a lot of sitting around and keeping himself looking good and oiled for the Empress. He would get bored very quickly. Like, 'within the day' quickly.
[X] – Write in
-[x] The Imperial chocolate stash.
You know from spending time with mother that ruling even rational well adjusted pirates is stressful and draining. The empress has got to have entire rooms of the good stuff you can abscond with given that she has to deal with freaking nobles all the times.
[X] - A seemingly-abandoned meeting room. Unfortunately, it turns out it's still occupied, with an ongoing negotiation between some important-looking nobles and...are those more Drukhari?
You know from spending time with mother that ruling even rational well adjusted pirates is stressful and draining. The empress has got to have entire rooms of the good stuff you can abscond with given that she has to deal with freaking nobles all the times.
The rulers of Tabgach have had long traditions of maintaining large harems to service them. The actual reality of said harems is often lost amid the many tales of intrigue, bawdy songs and claims of pirates who had snuck in to ravish underserviced concubines. On the other hand, coming here you might find that truth is stranger than fiction.
I realize I might be a bit unclear, but my intent was that the claims of pirates sneaking into the harems are meant to be taken with enough salt to salinate an ocean. Most of them have probably never been within 500 nautical miles of the palace.
I realize I might be a bit unclear, but my intent was that the claims of pirates sneaking into the harems are meant to be taken with enough salt to salinate an ocean. Most of them have probably never been within 500 nautical miles of the palace.
It probably happened once or twice (it's a very old tradition after all) but Sun has heard it from enough people to take any claim on the matter with a salt mine.
[X] - A seemingly-abandoned meeting room. Unfortunately, it turns out it's still occupied, with an ongoing negotiation between some important-looking nobles and...are those more Drukhari?
[X] - The middle of a banquet hall, in which several nobles are celebrating news of a 'great victory' over the rebels. Perhaps a bit too much. They're drunk, think you're someone with ties to the Empress, and insist on you staying for the entire party.
[X] – Write in: the Imperial menagerie contains many fantastic creatures, from those that where found planet side but some specimens of creatures that can from the heavens long ago; some of them have collars that seem to block psychic powers (Xeno Zoo, with the rare species from distant planets moved here before the long night.) oh there's an Ork there, and an orange monkey, a . . . human? why is there a human in a zoo? a school fish swimming in the air, a bird that is controlling the elements, a dog that teleports, a mutating humanoid creature thing that has many mouths, eyes and limbs, everchanging . . . pretty sure they're a girl and now she's staring at you . . . awkward
[X] Write in: even if you have no use for them, Steal the items anyways, cause PIRATE. you could just ask the very suggestable shoulder hostage what each thing is and what they do
[X] – Write in: the armory? nice, you might take a "heavy" weapon or two for a hand weapon. and a guard outfit . . hope you can find one that fits you (probably steals an Ogryn outfit)
[X] – Write in: the medical wing holds many strange substances & concoctions, you can probably find something here to help you out. from actual medical tools and equipment to poisons, venoms and drugs, there's got to be something to steal Borrow
[X] – Write in: the kitchen, maybe you can pretend to be a new chef here? maybe sneak a bite or two of that these nobles call good food. or you could accidentally eat something poisonous cause your dumb ass prepared it incorrectly . . . meh your constitution should let you survive, also long as it tastes good then its worth it.
[X] – Write in: the Library, steal books & Scrolls, maybe read some secrets hidden away from everyone else, there's a chance we can find some "Forbidden Knowledge"
[X] – Write in: you somehow actually found your way to the noble lady's changer/bedroom, and no one actually questioned you . . . these guards are shit, but anyways you might as well lock the doors and start looking around her stuff.
[X] – Write in: you somehow stumbled into a Gu Ritual involving the combining of several Daemons of all 4 factions into a undivided warp creature; the blending would destroy their personality and past alliances so to make them a blank slate for the . . . Cultists? Nobles? to have the ability to control something much, MUCH stronger then them . . . if you interfere that means you just get a free companion that can't betray you right?
Tabgach's harem maintains both men and women (in separate areas) of all types. Because while it exists primarily for the Emperor/Empress' personal use and raising the children of the concubines they also... ahem... 'reward' particularly distinguished service and sometimes you need one or the other or both. Or so Sun hears.
I'll be honest, I might just end up asking for a vote on that because I haven't come up with anything too crazy yet beyond 'wow they're hot' =/ Might end up breaking into the private areas to find them as well.
Do I really need to say what won?
I won't lie, I'm nervous to see if people like what I came up with for 'stranger than fiction'.
Of course, just because you declared that you'd find a ship as soon as possible doesn't mean you do. You have never been in this place before and thus have no idea at all where you're going. Your compass doesn't seem to know where the docks are, but when you ask for the way back to the Temple of Perpetual Devotion, it gives you a new direction as good as any other.
Perhaps it only knows the way to things you've encountered before? No, that can't be it, you'd never been in Thaszar's throne room before. Perhaps only Necron stuff?
Lead me to Dalnim, you ask the compass.
The compass points right me to her, but you also feel annoyance.
Just testing.
Maybe Necron stuff or things you've encountered before?
"You there! Tech monk!"
Oy vey.
A man in guard's armor runs up to you both, guandao at the ready. "What are you doing with that woman?!"
"There is no need for concern, sir." Dalnim says, with the practiced composed ease one would expect from a monk in good standing. "We were inspecting certain technological wonders in the chamber back there and are simply taking this woman back to her bedchambers to rest. It seems she took too liberally of sake."
"Our lady has not yet arrived to the council of lords, and I'm afraid we simply cannot begin without-" The guard gasps. "HER! You… YOU KIDNAPPED HER!!"
What.
You glance at the woman on your shoulder, groggily muttering something about potatoes. Then you glance at Dalnim, who is white as a sheet.
WHAT?!
"But she's a tech monk." You say, trying to buy a second with feigned stupidity.
"THE ONE OVER YOUR SHOULDER YOU IDIOT!" The guard drew his blade. "Her bedchambers are not even in this direction, this is the way to the docks!! You were going to kidnap our noble lady!! For your misbegotten noble scum, no doubt, for you are surely a spy planted in the court to steal her from us! And worse, you carry her on your shoulder unconscious! Have you NO REGARD for honor?! None for the RIGHTFUL RULE of our DIVINE EMPRESS?!"
Dalnim holds up her hands. "We found her drunk out of her mind!"
"Do you think me so FOOLISH as to think she would get drunk RIGHT BEFORE such an IMPORTANT AND CRITICAL meeting that could potentially spell the end of Tabgach itself?! Clearly you drugged her with your immense inhibition-denying drugs and now you're going to take her to the docks, kidnap her and ransom her back to the court after performing unspeakably defiling acts upon her body and soul!"
"Now, hold on," you say, holding up a hand and stepping back from the overly wordy and imaginative palace guard. "There could be a perfectly reasonable and legitimate explanation for why she was drinking before an important meeting, and thus explain why I am carrying an unconscious noblewoman on my shoulder towards the docks during a very important meeting she's absent for."
The guard raises an eyebrow. "… well… is there?"
"Well, you see-" Dalnim begins.
In one motion you grab Dalnim, throw her onto your other shoulder, turn around, and run.
To his credit you don't make it out of his sight line before he starts screaming.
-
You don't know the palace or its corridors, so you duck and dodge and jump in essentially random directions, avoiding anything that sounds like armored guards running and yelling.
Eventually, during one of the few instances where you duck into a dark corner and aren't running around like a maniac, Dalnim takes a moment to make sure the guards aren't in earshot and hisses "What did you do that for? Now the entire palace is on alert!"
"There's no way anyone would believe we were heading towards the docks by complete coincidence and you don't actually have an answer as to why this random noblewoman was drinking herself into a stupor and ranting about the Empress."
"I could've made something up!"
"Couldn't you have just fought your way out? Even with both of us on your shoulders?"
You consider that for a moment. "I mean, probably, unless Knights were mobilized. But this seemed more fun."
The noblewoman groans and grips her head. "Wha… what did I do last… mmm, muscles…" she mumbles before falling limp again.
You poke her cheek a couple dozen times before she groans again. "Waadayawa…"
"Look, we need somewhere we can lay low for a while." You hiss to the drunk. "Do you have a private room or something?"
She grumbles and points in what you hope isn't a random direction.
"How long, exactly, are we going to 'lay low' from an entire palace on high alert?"
"It's better than wandering around at complete random, isn't it?"
"Not really?"
The noblewoman grumbles. "Head hurts…" she glances up blearily.
"Any chance you can help us find somewhere to lay low for a bit?" You hiss.
"Servant's hall is… Attaway…" she mumbles, pointing. "fokkin newby… opossum… door's inna wall…" she falls back asleep and gods dammit she's snoring HOW!!
You groan and head in the direction she's pointing. Well, at the very least, a secret door shouldn't be hard to open, just hard to find. For someone other than him, anyway; it doesn't take long before you find a crevice in the wall that you quickly open and follow. Dalnim is just behind you, and the two of you eventually reach another hidden door, this one coming out behind… a waterfall?
You find yourself in a palatial garden of sorts, or at least it appears like one at first glance. There are beautiful flowers all around, and a luxurious seating area. You see miniature waterfalls that cascade down, forming rainbows in the air. There's birds chirping, but your ears catch the subtle scratching of vox speakers; it's subtle enough that most people wouldn't hear it, unless they were looking for it. Or if they were you, of course.
Dalnim stares. "How in the depths did you find this place?"
You shake your head. "Don't look at me, she pointed to the door."
You have never seen it before, of course, but who hasn't heard at least one bawdy song about the Imperial harem?
Ping is going to be pissed he missed this.
The woman approaching you wears a revealing blue dress that clings to her form like a second skin. Voluminous blonde hair cascades around her shoulders, flawless skin, perfectly applied make-up… this a woman who is beautiful, knows it, and fully uses it. Her smile to you is calculated, but not insincere: she likes what she sees, and shows it at the right moment to light a fire in a man's belly. She's keeping herself at an angle, letting you see her best side. It's perfectly calculated and you can't take your eyes off it.
"Well well, who is this that's so bold?" The woman purrs, and the promise in her voice sends tingles down your spine, but when she speaks again it's with shock. "Wait, is that Ning?!"
You glance at the groggy woman on your shoulder, then back to the woman in blue. "Who does it look like?"
"Oh dear, this shit again…" She sighs and shakes her head, beckoning to you both. "Come, set her down on the couch here. We'll have to keep this quiet."
A regular, huh? Odd, given she seemed to hate the Empress.
"I am called Bao." Bao nods. "Thank you for bringing her back to us. She's unfortunately grown quite prone to drinking, especially with all the stress of the war."
"Ah. Yeah, she was barely standing up when we found her."
She glances at your back, and to your mild surprise she doesn't seem worried about the sword. "Up to her old tricks I see. Hope you plan on putting that back."
You see no reason to correct her, so you shrug. "It's got a good weight to it. Might need it."
That raises her eyebrows instantly. "I… see."
You blink when a pair of handsome men come in, one shirtless and one in a sharp tang suit. The sharp-dressed man takes a seat next to the unconscious Ning, petting her hair. She stirs and groans, grasping her head in what you can only see as a hangover for a few moments, before giving a contented sigh.
You blink as you see something like steam come out of her skin, hissing like a released steam valve. "Did he just… massage the sake out of her?"
Bao shrugs. "Honestly we have a lot of strange folk here in the harem, but that one just confuses me."
"I thought the male and female halves of the harem were kept in separate chambers."
"Normally yes, but this central chamber is for casual meetings and allows both groups." The woman shakes her head. "Partly so we might gather and meet during downtime, partly for those whose tastes run both ways. The male concubines like you are in the opposite chambers from ours, across the way."
"Ex-fucking-CUSE you?!"
She blinks. "Did I make a false assumption?"
You open your mouth to tell the concubine off for assuming you were one of them… and then reconsider, your mind running at speeds no human could ever manage. You need somewhere to lay low for a bit anyway, and if you give up the opportunity to infiltrate the Imperial Harem Ping will never forgive you.
You cough. "Sorry, this is a uh… recent career change and not my first option. If you catch my drift."
"Ah." Bao shakes her head, a pitying look in her eyes. "Well. The pay is decent. And believe me when I say you will find the Empress a wonderful and considerate mistress. Assuming, of course, your tastes run towards women?" She subtly eyes you up, and you get the distinct impression she's hoping the answer is 'yes'.
Kill me now.
"They do, but what if they didn't?"
She shrugs. "Then she'd only loan you out to good men you'd enjoy. We make sure of that here."
Dalnim does not grin wickedly or waggle her eyebrows like Maia would, if anything she looks distracted. You don't think she's drooling as she stares at the shirtless man but it wouldn't surprise you. Apparently the Empress likes 'em big and muscular, because both of those men are at least seven feet tall and seem to be constantly sweating.
In fact, it's the first time in your life you've ever felt only slightly taller than average. If you do ever decide to have children, you hope you have daughters. You wouldn't know what to do with sons that big.
Gods, you've been gone less than a day and you already miss your crew.
"I'm glad to know," you say instead, and your grin turns mischievous as you think of something. "And on behalf of my lady, would you allow Miss Dalnim here to experience the palace's legendary massages?"
Dalnim's head whips around to you, mouth agape.
"… we do not have 'legendary massages'," Bao tilts her head. "Did she actually offer Dalnim such a thing, or are you saying this because you find the idea of a tech monk being flustered amusing?"
You pause to consider, then say, "Can't it be both?"
Bao smirks. "Just wanted to be sure." She claps twice and calls out towards the male's side of the compound. "Boys! The legendary massage service for our guest!!"
Dalnim has chosen these critical moments to imitate a fish, her lips opening and closing soundlessly. She looks at you, her skin as red as a sunburnt tomato. "Uh, Sun-"
"Aw, she's just shy." You wave, grinning wickedly. "Have fun~"
"That's not the problem! We need to-" She begins before one of the men takes her hand. "Get-" She begins before looking directly at him. In an instant her face turns red as a tomato and she stops talking.
"Is there an issue, madam?" The man asks after a moment, in a voice smoother than silk. You wonder if that's training or genetics. Probably a bit of both.
Dalnim says and does nothing for long enough that the man starts to look uncomfortable before she shakes her head.
"Tha…" she stammers. "I can keep my clothes on, right?"
"If that's what you need to be comfortable." The man gives her a charming smile, and she flushes. "Come, dear. Tech must be such a difficult job… We'll help you relax."
He takes her hand, and Dalnim lets herself be lead away like a puppy. You almost get up to help her, but they aren't being forceful and she isn't pulling away.
"I thought tech monks had oaths against this kind of thing," Bao admits, glancing at you.
You shrug. "She's a lay sister. She hasn't taken any oaths yet."
"The nameless ones?" Bao raises an eyebrow. "And yet you know her name."
You glance at her. "Is that a problem?"
"Merely interesting." She muses, taking a drag of her pipe. "Any for you, sir? As a welcome."
"Normally I'd jump at the chance for your ladies' lovely company, but-" You shake your head. "-I'll have to pass on this occasion. For… reasons."
She grins wickedly. "After sending your friend for a massage you're going to deny company of your own 'just cuz'?"
You hesitate, then say, "Well, I guess I could chat-"
She whistles. "Girls~!"
It is at that moment that you notice a gaggle of beautiful young women in various states of dress ranging from a rather sharp kimono to diaphanous silks that cover little. At Bao's urging, several come forward, and you realize this next hour or two will be the most awkward of your entire life.
Caihong will keelhaul you when she finds out what you were doing while she was potentially fighting for her life, Eun might cry (and that almost hurts), Ping is going to kill you for not bringing him along, and Mom… will either laugh like a maniac, ask for details, or give you a thumbs up and ask when she's getting grandkids.
You're not sure which would be worse.
-
"-but honestly he was kind of boring in bed," Mei finishes, fanning herself with prehensile hair and grumbling. "Not bad, necessarily, but… eh I'd seen it before, ya know? His brother wasn't much better, but at least he was fit."
Chatting with the Empress' concubines is somehow even more awkward than talking to the Eldar. You do not want to know how the Empress' servants are in bed, nor what the concubines like (you memorize it anyway because Ping is definitely going to ask). Half of them clearly want to sleep with you (you've politely turned them down so far, just 'enjoying their company') and most think you're one of them.
You've heard more bawdy songs about the harem than your mother would approve of, and all of them mention the beauty of their women (and men), often a damsel seeking rescue from a boring life and/or the touch of a ravishing pirate. Of the four women that have come to surround you, not even one is less than drop-dead gorgeous in their own way: tall and willowy Uta, the thick hourglass of Bao, even a short stack in Aki.
The tales do not exaggerate; if anything, the truth of the matter is even stranger.
Mei, for example, has long luxurious hair that moves of its own volition, calmly wrapping around your arm with a silken touch you're sure drives normal men wild. One of her eyes is darker than the blackest void, and the other sparkles with starlight.
Bao is the most ordinary of the bunch; she has not stopped smoking since you arrived, but you smell no tobacco or marijuana. When you ask she avoids the question, merely calling it a relaxant. (Her job is, after all, very stressful).
Then there's Uta, with a slender dancer's build. Every line out of her mouth sounds like she's singing a love song, and the melody tickles you from head to toe. For whatever reason, she has deigned to dance rather than join you and your new friends on the couch, her eyes always on you as she moves through what you're pretty sure is a one-woman ballet (or at least you think so; you're not familiar with dance). Her grace is exceptional for a mortal woman.
Aki wears a backless dress, and when she sits on the opposite side from Mei you see she has long golden chains hanging from the flesh of her back like chains waiting for a prisoner. The sight of gold digging into flesh is alarming at first, but Bao pulls one out and hands it to you. Another begins slowly growing in its place, and if anything Aki seems to enjoy the removal.
"I can cry diamonds, too," She purrs, pressing herself against you. "But you won't make me cry, will you?"
"Only happy tears," You give her a charming smile that makes her giggle again.
You glance at Dalnim in the corner. At some point she lost her robe and now wears a bathrobe that leaves much of her legs exposed. She's blushing and giggling as she chats with two men; her masseuses, apparently. And she is not shy with her hands, nor do they seem intent on stopping her.
You smirk. And you were almost worried.
Still, there's tension in her. She's keeping it from the men, but it's pretty evident to your superhuman eye that she's not fully enjoying herself. It's not that they're a problem, persay, more that her mind is elsewhere.
To be fair, so is yours. But until the palace drops its high alert, you're both stuck here.
"I've heard tales of the harem since I was young," you say, running fingers through Mei's hair. "I admit, I thought I would've been limited to the Empress' company."
"You picked a good time to join up, honestly." Bao shrugs. "The Empress calls on the men far more often than the women. I don't mind, of course, I'm not getting any younger, but such is the nature of the work."
Aki pouts. "Don't say it like that, we're still popular. The Empress keeps us busy."
"Of course, of course," Bao says, waving a dismissive hand, "And the pay is good, I'm just saying, our new friend here – Sun, wasn't it? – will have no shortage of time with our Empress. Look forward to it, my boy, your sons and daughters might well rule this planet one day."
Ning mumbles from her position on the couch, as a seventh concubine (this one a man with skin that shifts colors like a rainbow) rubs her temples. While the alcohol is apparently working its way out of her system, she has yet to stir to full consciousness since being put down, and you're glad for it.
You turn back to Bao. "So, I've been meaning to ask… Ning."
Bao smirks at you. "What about her? Need some pointers on what she likes? I'll warn you now, you'll wish you'd never asked."
Ning snorts before muttering "teacups" and slumping down again.
You almost bring up that she was insulting the Empress when you found her, but hesitate. Perhaps not the best thing to mention to her harem… they don't seem to dislike the Empress enough for that gamble to be worth it. "I'm curious. We found her drunk out of her mind and you said the stress of the war is getting to her lately. Does she usually get too hammered to walk straight?"
Bao sighs and takes a drag of her long pipe. "Poor dear's had a rough go of things lately, yeah. She never married, see, and turned down a number of good offers. Pissed off a lot of people. The Shoguns have been gathering power to themselves quite a bit, you see, and taking it away from the Empress. Your average citizen doesn't really know or care who's leading the lances that come to your home."
You blink. "What, really? I thought she had the Staff."
"She does, technically, but it's too large for a single person. She requires help to pilot it." Bao clarifies. "Besides, you can't pull out the greatest engine of war on the planet without pulling some serious political strings. Unless you want even more of the houses turned against you."
"I guess so," You say, rubbing Aki's back, avoiding the chains. "Is Ning a good ally for the Empress then?"
You might as well have shot someone.
It takes a moment for you to realize, but at your words, the entire room freezes up. All the concubines – the four women and three men – stop what they are doing to look at you, some confused, one or two with angry realization.
Bao's eyes narrow. "You aren't a new concubine at all, are you?"
Aki presses her chest against you, eyes starting to water, and you see diamond forming in the liquid (somehow). "You lied to us?"
Dalnim looks confused between her two new friends, and they glare.
You stare at Bao, your mind racing. "What makes you say that?"
"Who are you?" Bao growls, and you realize there's a sudden chill in the air that has nothing to do with the sudden tension. A chill like a winter storm…
-
Voting
[] – Come clean
-[] – Write in specifics
[] – Talk your way out of this
-[] – Write in your arguments
[] – Intimidate
-[] – Write in your best threat.
[] – Do something drastic
-[] – Write in something audacious
[] – Write in
Suggested by @SpacePaladin
[] – Write in
-[] These people are mutants, right? Look at any that look like any of your psyker children, and start reciting their names. If they recognize them, tell them about the Cult of the Drowned.
Suggested by @Negation
[] – Do something drastic
-[] Just grab Dalnim and walk. An Outsider in the Harem would be a scandal and bring the wrath of the Empress on their heads. You doubt they'll raise the alarm.
Suggested by @Parzival95
[] – Come clean
-[] – Well you see, I'm a pirate and I was just recently plundering exploring an ancient alien bunker with Dalnim here when we accidentally awoke the inhabitants and barely escaped into a portal that led to an entirely unrelated alien spaceship up above the planet who then dumped us back through another portal in the palace to get rid of us. We were just wandering around trying to find an exit when we met our drunk friend here and now we're coming down from that incredibly stressful adventure while trying very hard not to start a huge fight in the heart of the palace.
-[X] – Write in: you're gonna tell your life story (the quest) with some edits, it is truth too!
--[X] so any ways it started with me on a ship of trade, no here's a trick, piracy is illegal but if some ruffians were to sail the high seas, well the law states that's a sailing paycheck with rights to start looting.
--[X] so the thing is some trade and navy ships act as pirates when no ones looking plausible deniability and all that; so it turns out the pirate ship was a royal navy ship that was raiding on the trade route it was guarding
--[X] Now it's easy to get away with killing the sailors without repercussions, treason, piracy, attacking trade ships, attacking other royal navy ships, being dumbasses by having records of who they raided.
--[X] The problem was that they had children in the brig, so slavery as well; now ships attacking other ships is part of the business, it just happens and legally capturing pirates for a profit is a nice side income.
--[X] Slavery thou is super mega illegal even though there's those nobles and rich ass merchants and governers. We just their map and sail to were the slaves were being sent to, gonna raid the buyers of their riches
--[X] Of course those buyers had to be hidden and they chose to settle on an island in the middle of a storm with dangerous seas filled with monstrous wildlife
--[X] now normally this is when a ship turns around, too much trouble and we just freed some kids from slavery, but we may have a lapse of judgment at the time and I may have argued to sail truough the storm and convinced crew and captain on it so . . .
--[X] when we got to the island problems may have arose, ship broke, jostle wildlife and . . . Maybe there was a cult what was buying slaves from nobles and their sailors in the navy, just to sacrifice them to their dark heretical gods
--[X] Now we have some of the crew calling to kill the cultists, a few might be a tad too religious, others to make more money after our merchandise sank in the sea
--[X] Now we killing the peculiar but then a third party arrives, dark elder; the foul Xenos were raiding the island for slaves. Know this I'm not 100% sure about this and is just a theory, but the nobles in the navy planned to sell to both the cultist and elder and have them kill each other, get rid of the heresy and xenos
--[X] the cultists want to sacrifice us and the elder to their gods while the xenos we're having a competition on who can cause the most fear and pain between them while they capture some new slaves.
--[X] As you can tell by the fact I'm living we had slain the cultists and driven off the eldar; after scraping the cultists' ships nad some local trees for materials the repaired trade ship left that island with some modest treasure and coin and few casualties
--[X] Now we sail to one of the tech monk temples to get repairs, we got some aristocracy's that need cleansing and locked in the deepest depths of their fortress monasteries
--[X] now you may or may not have heard of some pirates at a traitor tech monk monastery fortress, and all I got to say is that one how did they know we sank a navy ship? One that was working with heretics, xenos, were traitors that sank other trade and other navy ships? They were in on it so when we fought them, me and the crew wlaren't traders, just people that got stuck between the royal knights, or where they titans? Doesn't matter, and between the neutral tech monks
--[X] oh and they were shooting at my shops so property damage. I want to emphasize I didn't kill any of the nobles piloting the giant machines, but may have tricked them into shooting one another
--[X] now on how I got into the palence . . . Well you tell me cause I got no idea, like you help one drunk noble lady and a pale về guard says I'm kidnapping her, like kidnapping is when you move someone onto another room with out consent, you think I gave consent to be whisked away into the palace? Like the talk with you gals was nice and mech girl needed the rest and relaxation, you say how she was from joining my wacky adventure only halfway
--[X] . . . Oh yeah I forgot their some cool robot skeleton pirate noble abominable intelligence that the tech monks were containing to protect the world but evil noble titan army may have unleashed them onto the world with their stupidity, last I checked the AI skeleton pirates were destroying the nobles so you may start hearing about an army heading to the capital or palace or going around destroying any humans they can fine . . .
--[X] So . . . I guess I'm the most unlucky person alive and I'm hiding here cause there's an army coming and the palace SHOULD be the safest place, I rather deal with some hide and seek with some palace guards than fight an evil AI army the nobles unleashed
--[X] now with all that information, what you ladies gonna do with the potential end to the nation?
[X] – Write in
-[X] These people are mutants, right? Look at any that look like any of your psyker children, and start reciting their names. If they recognize them, tell them about the Cult of the Drowned.
[X] – Do something drastic
-[X] Just grab Dalnim and walk. An Outsider in the Harem would be a scandal and bring the wrath of the Empress on their heads. You doubt they'll raise the alarm.
[X] – Come clean
-[X] – Well you see, I'm a pirate and I was just recently plundering exploring an ancient alien bunker with Dalnim here when we accidentally awoke the inhabitants and barely escaped into a portal that led to an entirely unrelated alien spaceship up above the planet who then dumped us back through another portal in the palace to get rid of us. We were just wandering around trying to find an exit when we met our drunk friend here and now we're coming down from that incredibly stressful adventure while trying very hard not to start a huge fight in the heart of the palace.
[X] Plan: Quest Story
-[X] – Write in: you're gonna tell your life story (the quest) with some edits, it is truth too!
--[X] so any ways it started with me on a ship of trade, no here's a trick, piracy is illegal but if some ruffians were to sail the high seas, well the law states that's a sailing paycheck with rights to start looting.
--[X] so the thing is some trade and navy ships act as pirates when no ones looking plausible deniability and all that; so it turns out the pirate ship was a royal navy ship that was raiding on the trade route it was guarding
--[X] Now it's easy to get away with killing the sailors without repercussions, treason, piracy, attacking trade ships, attacking other royal navy ships, being dumbasses by having records of who they raided.
--[X] The problem was that they had children in the brig, so slavery as well; now ships attacking other ships is part of the business, it just happens and legally capturing pirates for a profit is a nice side income.
--[X] Slavery thou is super mega illegal even though there's those nobles and rich ass merchants and governers. We just their map and sail to were the slaves were being sent to, gonna raid the buyers of their riches
--[X] Of course those buyers had to be hidden and they chose to settle on an island in the middle of a storm with dangerous seas filled with monstrous wildlife
--[X] now normally this is when a ship turns around, too much trouble and we just freed some kids from slavery, but we may have a lapse of judgment at the time and I may have argued to sail truough the storm and convinced crew and captain on it so . . .
--[X] when we got to the island problems may have arose, ship broke, jostle wildlife and . . . Maybe there was a cult what was buying slaves from nobles and their sailors in the navy, just to sacrifice them to their dark heretical gods
--[X] Now we have some of the crew calling to kill the cultists, a few might be a tad too religious, others to make more money after our merchandise sank in the sea
--[X] Now we killing the peculiar but then a third party arrives, dark elder; the foul Xenos were raiding the island for slaves. Know this I'm not 100% sure about this and is just a theory, but the nobles in the navy planned to sell to both the cultist and elder and have them kill each other, get rid of the heresy and xenos
--[X] the cultists want to sacrifice us and the elder to their gods while the xenos we're having a competition on who can cause the most fear and pain between them while they capture some new slaves.
--[X] As you can tell by the fact I'm living we had slain the cultists and driven off the eldar; after scraping the cultists' ships nad some local trees for materials the repaired trade ship left that island with some modest treasure and coin and few casualties
--[X] Now we sail to one of the tech monk temples to get repairs, we got some aristocracy's that need cleansing and locked in the deepest depths of their fortress monasteries
--[X] now you may or may not have heard of some pirates at a traitor tech monk monastery fortress, and all I got to say is that one how did they know we sank a navy ship? One that was working with heretics, xenos, were traitors that sank other trade and other navy ships? They were in on it so when we fought them, me and the crew wlaren't traders, just people that got stuck between the royal knights, or where they titans? Doesn't matter, and between the neutral tech monks
--[X] oh and they were shooting at my shops so property damage. I want to emphasize I didn't kill any of the nobles piloting the giant machines, but may have tricked them into shooting one another
--[X] now on how I got into the palence . . . Well you tell me cause I got no idea, like you help one drunk noble lady and a pale về guard says I'm kidnapping her, like kidnapping is when you move someone onto another room with out consent, you think I gave consent to be whisked away into the palace? Like the talk with you gals was nice and mech girl needed the rest and relaxation, you say how she was from joining my wacky adventure only halfway
--[X] . . . Oh yeah I forgot their some cool robot skeleton pirate noble abominable intelligence that the tech monks were containing to protect the world but evil noble titan army may have unleashed them onto the world with their stupidity, last I checked the AI skeleton pirates were destroying the nobles so you may start hearing about an army heading to the capital or palace or going around destroying any humans they can fine . . .
--[X] So . . . I guess I'm the most unlucky person alive and I'm hiding here cause there's an army coming and the palace SHOULD be the safest place, I rather deal with some hide and seek with some palace guards than fight an evil AI army the nobles unleashed
--[X] now with all that information, what you ladies gonna do with the potential end to the nation?
