[X] You have the best words
"Sorry I'm late; my bus was cancelled, so I had to-"
"Are you-? For fucks sake, Toshinori - we could have waited! You need to stop pushing yourself like this!"
Self-sacrificing idiot. Those types never failed to irritate Aizawa; they brought down so much suffering unto themselves, all to avoid even slightly inconveniencing others.
And for what? Did they
enjoy basking in everyone else's pity?
Did they enjoy hurting everyone around them?
Well, it wasn't his problem. He'd learned to stop caring about those sorts.
…
But it was still pretty annoying to listen to everyone else
whine about it - a few scathing comments slotted neatly into the conversation without too much effort, although he was too tired to observe their effect.
He'd missed a patrol for this?
"-Midoriya Izuku. Now, marketing suggested that I accept his application, but as we all know…
What marketing wants is the last thing anyone with a functioning brain should."
Even he'd joined in with the mantra - now
there was something he could agree with. Even though he stayed as far away from the limelight as some kind of vampiric caterpillar, there was no escaping their oh-so-helpful suggestions:
"The online polls have spoken, Mr Aizawa! Think of how much we could bring in if you just: smiled for the cameras/bleached your hair/posed for a naked photoshoot with half a dozen cats!"
And so on, probably until the heat death of the universe.
…
Did he just hear a..?
No, it was probably nothing. Besides, the meeting was called for a reason, so there had to be something important to stick around f…
"Before the vote, I'd just like to say-"
...uuuck this I'm out.
"Where are you going, Aizawa?"
Away from this pretentious moron. "Coffee break."
"There's a machine over there."
"Mmph, bathroom then." Ah, the unfortunate drawbacks of caffeine...
He pulled the door shut behind him with a soft click - didn't want anyone interrupting, after all.
He scanned the corridor for whoever had made the noise, only to find that whoever was here wasn't very experienced at infiltration; their tail was clearly visible from around the corner. Still, it could be a trap… nope, nobody behind him. His scarf tested the air - not even an invisible assailant. He was just dealing with an idiot.
Might as well have a bit of fun with them.
The intruder attempted to run, but he was faster. The expression on their face was hilarious, but he maintained his patented Death Stare. Over his many years of working with Hizashi, it had been perfected, and now could give even the most dogged of extroverts pause. On the plus side, it meant people left him alone to watch cat videos undisturbed. On the other, it had just caused said people to leave passive-aggressive photoshops around by his favourite coffee machine.
However, his favourite use for it (although he would vehemently deny it if asked) was, on
extremely rare occasions, to allow himself to enjoy his victory by dramatically removing his goggles, looking the defeated villain dead in the eye, and combine his Death Stare with the activation of his quirk for maximum trauma. If he was feeling particularly indulgent, a dramatic one-liner may or may not be involved.
"What are you doing here?"
This particular intruder decided to have a seizure instead. Despite his surprise, he was quick enough to muffle their shrieking.
…
They were still going. They
probably weren't faking it…
…
He blinked, deactivating his quirk. Quirk-related or not, it wouldn't be good if the intruder actually succeeded in ripping their own legs off.
"Fine, you can have it back". Their screaming trailed off.
It was then that he noticed two important details, first and foremost: they'd gotten blood on his scarf. Did they
know how hard it was to get blood out of nanofibres?! Second, he recognised the intruder.
Aizawa had been there when they were editing the entrance exam footage. Despite the fact that it was advertised as such, it wasn't truly 'live' coverage. Only one channel could win the bid for the broadcast rights, so there was about a half-hour delay between viewing and broadcast, during which everyone on hand with at least some degree of skill with a video editor scrambled to piece together something that was interesting, dynamic, and could in no way be used to sue for child endangerment.
Despite the loud sobbing of overworked staff, he found it preferable to sitting in with the other heroes. At least here there were no stating the obvious, or worse -
pretentious mumbling.
Every. Year.
Every single year, somebody would start them off. He didn't think it was intentional, but it still happened: somebody would make a vague comment on the actions of a student, trying to sound like there was some
mystical hidden potential that
only they could see, while completely ignoring the fact that everyone else had eyes. And that would open the floodgates - everyone in the lounge would try one-upping each other in a pointless metaphorical dick-measuring contest.
Even Nezu joined in, and he was supposed to be the smart one! Granted, he may just do it just to screw with everyone, but the effect was the same, regardless of intent.
This 'Kaede' applicant had been one of the ones that had caught his eye this year. Not just because of their 'fluffy liddle kitty ears' (although they had played a small role in drawing his attention), but because they were a sadly uncommon combination of 'actual competence' and 'potential office warfare tool'. Judging by the overview of their quirk on their application, and the abilities demonstrated both during and after the exam, they had a versatile quirk.
They also may or may not be proof of one of Amajiki's parents having an an affair, but that was irrelevant to his current interests.
That accounted for the 'competence', but the 'office warfare tool' part had come later, once he'd had time to observe (and mock) the discomfort of his colleagues; many of them were unnerved by the applicant's disregard for their own safety, the injuries that ensued, and of course the whole centipede-ribcage thing. In addition to this, both Present Mic and All Might had a fear of bugs, the latter due to an unfortunate run-in with an American vigilante (What was their name - Skittles?). As a result, neither could so much as look at a bug without attempting to crush it. And when that failed… Well, his phone had a good camera for a reason.
In short, he wanted that student in his class, which was the
only reason he didn't just throw Shima into the conference room to see what would happen.
"My quirk. I can cancel out yours. You didn't take it too well. Now answer me: what are you doing here?"
"IwantedtomakesurethatyouguysletIzukuini-it'stheonlythingh-"
Well, at least he'd successfully intimidated them; it was only the unhealthy levels of caffeine in his bloodstream that allowed him to follow Shima's speech.
"Why didn't you arrange a meeting?"
"Have you seen the waiting list?!"
They had him there, but still…
"There could have been other methods to get our attention…"
"...I don't work well under pressure."
Hm. Irritating, but that could be fixed.
"Evidently. Final question:
why exactly, shouldn't I just throw you out
right now?"
Whatever he was expecting, he was not prepared for the torrent of words that followed:
"So I don't think I care so much about being a hero but Izuku does he really really does and he's like one of my best friends and I guess he's my best human friend so I've been helping him with my quirk and that's almost like he has a quirk too right? So he can be a hero! Like, I can be his sidekick or something and help him get great like All Might with our other friends and everything!! He's a pure cinnamon roll shrub and the only human that would be my friend until recently please don't make him sad like he used to be I will give you a homemade centipedepleasedonttakemyfriendaway…"
'Helping him' using their quirk? Centipede creation? What even
was their quirk?
And how much potential did it really have?
"You understand that I have no reason to listen to you?"
"Yeah, you do! You're a hero, so you've
got to want to help people!" Even though they were only whisper-yelling, the
conviction behind their words… "And Izuku's the most hero-ey person there is - even if he has to work harder than everyone else, he'll do it! He'll beat everyone else here! Just give him a
chance!"
He stared, Kaede met his eyes, and didn't look away. He approved.
They were certainly a worthy investment, despite their sickening naivete. However, Midoriya - would he be worth sacrificing another student's place? He
had ranked in the top ten...
"Shima, if I grant your friend a place in this school, what would you do for me in return?"
"W-wha? Really? I'll do anything!!"
He smiled.
---
"Are you cold, Toshinori?"
"No, I'm fine, thanks."
All Might repressed another shudder. What could have possibly made him feel such an impending sense of doom..?
Aizawa chose that moment to rejoin them, a frankly disturbing smile on his face..
"About time!" "How considerate of you to keep us waiting so long, Shota." "If you are having any
problems, I do stock some medicine that would be of assistance."
Nezu cleared his throat, silencing the complaints "If you're all quite finished~ Mr Aizawa, your vote is the tiebreaker, so what's your verdict? Should we accept little Midoriya after all?"
Yamada burst out laughing at the
thought of Shota showing actual human emotion and letting the boy in, Aizawa ignored him.
"Give me a minute." He turned to All Might "You're for this, right?"
Toshinori nodded.
"Why? You've already picked a successor, so what's the point?"
"W-well… I just feel that he has the required mindset for a hero. You saw what he did - even though he knew that he was almost certainly going to suffer from it, he didn't give up on helping that girl."
Why was Aizawa asking things like this? It didn't fit with his previous level of interest, and was beginning to feel... personal.
"And? He has no unique strength - he's a liability on the field."
"That difference can be made up for with equipment, and you know it." He had to force himself not to let the aggravation show; old memories of overhearing similar conversations were pushed back down. "With a bit of training, that determination of his could be put to good use, too; he didn't once hesitate when committing to an action in battle, which can make all the difference in a fight."
Fortunately, Aizawa didn't respond, instead choosing to contemplate his decision. The man knew where to pressure people, which meant arguments with him were brief, if painful.
Toshinori noted that the rest of the staff had been observing their 'chat', Yamada splitting a bowl of popcorn with Power Loader. He met their stares.
...This was an awkward silence if he'd ever heard one. He hoped that Aizawa would make up his mind soon.
…
Well, there was no harm in asking.
"Could I have some, plea-"
"Vlad, you don't want Midoriya in your class, do you?"
"Wha-? Aizawa, you're not seriously considering…" Foolish Sekijiro, Aizawa does not debase himself with mortal constructs like 'a sense of humor'. "You're actually serious. Then no, I don't feel like dealing with the paperwork when he needs to be transferred."
"Then I'll take him, if you trade me... hmmm, how about Shiozaki?"
"No."
"Monoma?"
"
No. Stop trying to poach my students!"
"Kamakiri?"
"...Who?"
"Blade-face quirk."
Vlad took a moment to consider it, Toshinori grabbed the popcorn bowl while Mic and Power Loader were busy dying of laughter. Honestly… It wasn't even that funny -
everyone did this when they got a new set of students, so that in a best case scenario, nobody would be stuck with a student that they found overwhelmingly annoying. Unless… He choked on his popcorn, giving Midnight an opportunity to steal the bowl.
What if it was actually funny, and he was just losing touch with the young people?!
"Deal, but only if I get that one with the lasers."
"Sure, but why?"
"Nobody in this room trusts you not to expel him."
"Now that's just uncalled for."
"No. No it's not. Anyway, if we're doing this now, do you want Shima?"
"...Who?"
Unlike Aizawa, Sekijiro had a terrible poker face. "You know… the one with the
centipedes."
"…"
"With the torso mouth?"
"…"
"Kitty ears."
"Oh, them. No thanks, you can keep them."
Vlad lost what remaining composure he had:
"Please."
"Maybe… Will you give me Shiozaki? You can have the Sugar Rush one~"
"...No." He was hesitating. Shota had previously claimed the student solely because Vlad had expressed interest in them, and that gamble was paying off.
"Then I'm afraid I can't help you."
They all waited, the only sounds being the crunch of popcorn, and the shattering of Vlad's resolve.
"Fine -
take all my favourite students why don't you…"
"I'm glad we could come to an agreement."
Vlad looked put out, but he quickly recovered; despite appearances, he didn't care much about the quirks of his students. However, even
he could get tired of second place after working long enough with Aizawa.
Still, it was for the best. Everyone remembered what had happened last time Shota had been stuck with too many students he found 'not worth his time'. At least this way, everyone was happy. Now, if they could just stop Aizawa from
smiling like that...
---
AN: Local grouchy cat person just wants to watch the world burn. He really doesn't want to be a super saiyan pin-up star.
Just going to take this moment to say that i have absolutely no idea what I'm doing or where I'm going with this, but you people seem to like it for some reason, so I'll try my best not to disappoint you. Let's all work together to make Endeavor's life a living hell.
(but seriously thank you so much aaaaahhhh)
