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The Unabridged Memoirs of Darth Plagueis the Wise [Star Wars AU]

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Just caught up with all the post AH.com updates. Any ideas on fantasy cast?

Resurrecting Ian Richardson for the voice of Lord Stocious is a must. Raising the dead from another dimension might be a bit of a tall order though.

Jennifer Lawrence as Darth Borea?
 
Ha! Once again loosing an evening on TVTropes has ultimately paid off!

I am not at all familiar with the extended SW lore (I occasionally look up something on Wookiepedia before my eyes glaze over), but this is great! It's very well balanced, the story moves along at the right speed, without either wasting ages with tedious lenghty explanation or being so fast as to just glimpse over. The protagonist also doesn't always win. Or... does he?

I have no idea on whether any of the non-movie characters are 'in-character' or on crack, but they are entertaining, which is the entire point.

I find it both hilarious and canon-like that Anakin has no idea on who his wife really is. He'll be shocked once his kids point it out.

'Hello my darlings. Eh. Why did you make your training swords have red blades?'
'We're going to be Sith, like mom!'
'Like your mother? What? Wait. WAIT! But... but I... but...'
'What is it, dad? You look so pale, are you unwell?'
'It's... uhhh... nothing. You'll, ah, do great.' *screams internally*

So, thank you for writing!
 
Force Unleashed huh. I can see Starkiller being trained by Borea instead of Anakin. Anakin tries to help but Starkiller quickly learns he kinda folds over for Borea.

When Hugo learns he confronts her and instead of a dramatic moment like Palpatine he simply critiques her teaching techniques and loans her his "Apprentice training and You!" holocron.

Borea: (Deadpan) "Really? You went through all the effort to create a holocron and called it that?"

Plagues: "When you create your own holocron you can criticize my naming scheme."

Plagues would later regret this once Borea created the holocron called "How to deal with your Sith Lord grandpa."
 
Anyone know if Maul has been dealt with or is he still king of the trash planet?
 
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Author's Note: Maul is Dead
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    • Dovahsith said:
    Anyone know if Maul has been dealt with or is he still king of the trash planet?
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    Obi-Wan dealt with Maul on Naboo in 32 BBY. He was sliced in half and fell down a bottomless pit, and his skull cracked open like an egg on impact. Maul is dead, and has been since the end of Phantom Menace, and no amount of handwaves or space-voodoo will change that. I refuse to recognize any material in either continuity that claims otherwise.

    EDIT: New update coming this weekend, btw.
     
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    • YeahOkayCool said:
    Obi-Wan dealt with Maul on Naboo in 32 BBY. He was sliced in half and fell down a bottomless pit, and his skull cracked open like an egg on impact. Maul is dead, and has been since the end of Phantom Menace, and no amount of handwaves or space-voodoo will change that. I refuse to recognize any material in either continuity that claims otherwise.
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    I only have this to say
     
    Chapter 31: Change on the Wind
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    • YeahOkayCool said:
    EDIT: New update coming this weekend, btw.
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    This man LIES-- when he said this weekend he meant THIS AFTERNOON, LITERALLY RIGHT NOW​

    Chapter 31: Change on the Wind


    ​
    Lightning and other flashy, whizz-bang paths to dark side dominion are all well and good in their place, but the most meaningful measure of a being's power is how abject others are before his or her might. The subsuming of lives into sterile statistics, the obscene alchemy that turns the subject into an object, this reverse chrysopoeia of the damned and damnable-- this is the essence of true power. How powerful are the Sith, then, that we can award entire planets and all who live upon them to our allies as if they were shipping contracts?

    --Datafile #81901, Darth Plagueis' Holocron    ​

    Studio 4, Core Broadcasting Corporation, Nayli, Chandrila, 13.1 years following Battle of Naboo

    ["Answer the Galaxy" intro music plays]

    "Welcome to Answer the Galaxy, I'm your host, Koiru Tano. Tonight we're going to open with the biggest news story of the week, straight from the front lines-- Jabiim has fallen. Late last night, Vice-Chancellor Organa held a press conference, where he announced that the Fifth Fleet's month-long assault on the Outer Rim planet of Jabiim has finally ended. The planet, which until recently had been dismissed as a ball of rain and mud with little strategic value, was one of the first to rebel against the Republic, and was one of the original five Founding Worlds of the Rim Confederation. This victory is a crushing blow to the Rim Liberation Front's morale, and may end up being a sign that the war is finally beginning to turn in favor of the Republic. Here with me in the studio to discuss Jabiim is your friend and mine, Magister Hego Damask of the Hego Damask Foundation and Damask Holdings. Welcome back, Magister."

    "Delighted to be here again, Ms. Tano."

    "Now, you've been extremely critical of Chancellor Dooku's government and its conduct of the war thus far. Has news of the Republic victory on Jabiim caused you to re-think at all?"

    "To a degree, I suppose, but not in a manner the Chancellor would find satisfactory. As they say on Mygeeto, even a blind Lurman finds a nut once in a while. Now obviously I do not begrudge the Republic taking back territory from the anarchists of the RLF. But we must not confuse this battle with any sort of decisive victory. The Jabiimi settlers are still implacably hostile to us. The humans of Jabiim have-- in their minds-- been passed over by the Republic countless times when they requested protection and justice. Plagues, piracy, and so forth. Despite being, in genetic terms, the lost brothers and sisters of many here in the Core, they identify so completely with the non-humans of the Rim that they see any interference of the Republic in their affairs as oppression of the highest order. Even if the Republic had gone in during peacetime with the best possible intentions, I doubt we would be received with open arms. Particularly if a contingent of Jedi had gone with them. We must remember that in the minds of the Rim Confederation that this is not a war of secession, but a colonial war of liberation, with all the animosity that implies."

    "Interesting. Are you suggesting that there may be resistance movements springing up on Jabiim, even after the regular RLF's surrender? Something on the level of what we've seen on Kalee and Munto Codru?"

    "Even more brutal, I would say. Especially if the RLF's shadowfeed propaganda is any indication of what the average Jabiimi actually believes. Their hatred of the Republic and the Jedi Order seems absolute. Another consequence of history."

    "But these sound like much deeper, more bedrock concerns, than just disagreeing with Chancellor Dooku's policies."

    "Oh, certainly. It would be absurd to blame Dooku for the actions of his predecessors; in fact as a Jedi Master he was most vociferously against those very same policies. And as I have said many times before, I have always had the utmost respect for him as a person. In many ways, I think Chancellor Dooku is a rather tragic figure-- trapped by circumstance in an unwinnable position. In many ways, he is left no choice but to act as he has. He has inherited a Republic whose problems are systemic. The government's relationship with the outlying systems has been dysfunctional for centuries; a war like this was brewing for a long time. The Chancellor just happened to nominate himself for the position at a time when these various long-term trends were coming to a head. It may be a consequence of being a Jedi, trained in the Living Force. For all their wisdom, the Jedi have a distressing tendency to focus on the here-and-now, to busy themselves relieving symptoms instead of curing the Republic's diseases. But I could easily be biased; as an investment banker, I am conditioned to think in the long term."

    "I'm sorry, Magister, but it sounded like you just said that Jedi Master Dooku nominated himself for the interim Chancery."

    "Did I say that?"

    "Yes, you did."

    "Well, then I must have misspoken. I apologize."

    "One other thing that leaves many in the Republic concerned is the future of the Political Security Service, the Rim Confederation's secret police. Commander Alto Stratus, their commander and one of the head warlords of the Rim Liberation Front, is still at large. Republic sources indicate that the Jedi and clone armies are still attempting to pick up Stratus' trail. Do you believe Stratus still poses a danger to the Republic?"

    "Yes. Alto Stratus is, in my opinion, the most dangerous of all the RLF warlords."

    "Could you clarify that? Stratus is a dictatorial warlord on the run for his life. His power base on Jabiim has been destroyed, and reports say he's had serious disagreements with the other members of the RimCon's ruling clique. You'd think he wouldn't be a threat at all."

    "And it is exactly that attitude, Ms. Tano, that will give him the room he needs to maneuver. Alto Stratus knows we will underestimate him, and he will use that to his advantage. He is, by all accounts, an uncommonly clever fellow. But what makes him even more dangerous than that is his fanaticism. Most of the other RLF warlords are practical, cynical people. They have to be, in order to attain that level of power. Padme Amidala and Cham Syndulla are career politicians, taking advantage of popular dissatisfaction for their own gain. Grand Admiral Ackbar is an honorable military man, and seems to care more about securing Dac's independence than waging a war on the Core. Qymaen jai Sheelal is a cagey and ruthless warlord, but I met him several times when he worked for the Banking Clan and can tell you that he does, at least, have whatever his people consider a sense of... not honor exactly, but fair play. These warlords are all hard beings, to be sure, but they can be reasoned with. Or at least predicted."

    "And Stratus cannot?"

    "No, he cannot. Alto Stratus is a monster and a fanatic. He seems to actually believe every word of his own propaganda, and is driven by a sense of resentment and hatred that his colleagues simply could not even pretend to have. There's also the matter that his power base is not just Jabiim but his secret police, whose word is still law across most of the Rim. Not to mention the remaining Thunderclap Commandos, which is the Jedi's prime concern. No, despite Stratus' differences with the other councilors, he still has strong enough influence on his faction to be a major threat to the Republic. Perhaps even more than before, when you recall that he is no longer tied down to a Founding World, as his colleagues are. Alto Stratus and his assassins are more mobile and secretive now than they ever have been. It is my considered opinion that aside from Sev'rance'tann and her commandos, Stratus is the most dangerous individual threat to galactic stability."

    "Are we talking another assassination attempt on the Supreme Chancellor, or another Senate Building bombing--"

    "I mean another Republic Day Offensive."

    "A-another--"

    "Yes."

    [several seconds of silence]

    "...Wow. So naturally, you'd want the Republic to put as much manpower-- or clonepower-- as possible towards catching Stratus, before he can strike again?"

    "That is correct, Ms. Tano."

    "Thank you. Now, I know that this was a bit dark, even for some of our military stories, so I hope it won't seem in poor taste for me to ask you a personal question, Magister. I understand that you recently became a grandfather?..."

    "Well, adoptive grandfather. My young ward, perhaps you remember her from the last time I came on, Jabitha Hal--"

    "Yes, I remember, she's Ferroan, isn't she?"

    "Half-Ferroan, half-Human, actually. Well, six or seven weeks ago she gave birth to two healthy twins. A boy and a girl, Leor and Sheekla. I believe I sent your producer a picture of them, to put up on the screen? Ah, there they are."

    [studio audience awws]

    "Well, they look like some beautiful children, Magister, you must be very proud."

    "Immeasurably so. I have no children of my own-- married to my work, you know-- and the knowledge that Jabitha has found a family after the tragic childhood she had is... gratifying, to say the least. They will never want for anything."

    "That's a very nice sentiment, Magister. I notice that they don't seem to be-- well, they're not as blue as Jabitha, to put it bluntly. Is their father not Ferroan?"

    "He is a human, actually. I'd prefer not to disclose his name, out of respect for Jabitha's privacy, but rest assured that they are a perfectly healthy pair of children."

    "Ahh, a wartime romance?"

    "You might say that, but as I said, I couldn't possibly comment."

    "Well, we wish you, Jabitha, and all the rest the best of luck, Magister."

    "Thank you, Ms. Tano. It was a pleasure."

    "Next up after this break, entertainment news! Essia Thallari's new drama holo Iridescent Lover has gotten some major blowback at the Galactic Film Awards over its controversial casting of a non-Theelin as leading lady. Is this racism, or the workings of the market? Our panel of experts weigh in, after this word from our sponsors."

    [outro music]​

    NOTES: Okay, so obviously my plan to have Part One wrapped up by the end of August is falling apart. Real-life concerns and various personal disasters have hit all at once and diverted my productivity into the IRL sphere, but I'm still gonna try my hardest to finish in a reasonable timeframe.​
     
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    • YeahOkayCool said:
    This man LIES-- when he said this weekend he meant THIS AFTERNOON, LITERALLY RIGHT NOW
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    Burn him al- Ohhhhh.

    YeahOkayCool said:
    How powerful are the Sith, then, that we can award entire planets and all who live upon them to our allies as if they were shipping contracts?
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    More so then the Jedi, who can't even fork over change for a proper Uber to handle a trade dispute.

    YeahOkayCool said:
    Jabiim has fallen.
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    Can it get back up?

    YeahOkayCool said:
    "Interesting. Are you suggesting that there may be resistance movements springing up on Jabiim, even after the regular RLF's surrender? Something on the level of what we've seen on Kalee and Munto Codru?"
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    Well yeah. A populace that hates you, lots of weapons that the RLF probably handed over to the civvies, all sorts of die hards, and a occupying force that is.... less than professional.

    YeahOkayCool said:
    n many ways, I think Chancellor Dooku is a rather tragic figure-- trapped by circumstance in an unwinnable position.
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    Indeed. In fact, why, he probably hates taking this position now.

    YeahOkayCool said:
    "Well, then I must have misspoken. I apologize."
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    Oooh. A genuine slip up from anger, or something else?

    YeahOkayCool said:
    Padme Amidala
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    Assuming it's not a body double.

    YeahOkayCool said:
    Perhaps even more than before, when you recall that he is no longer tied down to a Founding World, as his colleagues are.
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    And has little left to lose, to boot.

    YeahOkayCool said:
    "Half-Ferroan, half-Human, actually. Well, six or seven weeks ago she gave birth to two healthy twins. A boy and a girl, Leor and Sheekla.
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    D'aww..... Was Anakin present? Also, did Hego do the marriage before? Best to avoid canoodling in sin. I mean, you're a Sith lord and all, but standards must be upheld.
     
    Talk about a descent into darkness. No need to fabricate Jedi hate like Sideous did when you can make real hate. Plagueis has also managed to bind the Jedi and Republic together so strongly that you might see a Mandalorian War style situation pop up, with large numbers of Jedi splitting from the Order to either create their own, or going Dark.
     
    Baron Steakpuncher said:
    I do rather like the news segments, they feel like something I can relate to.
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    For some reason I just love the idea of an Old Republic-era political talk show. It works really well for Plagueis as a character, and writing a character like Koiru is fun because I try to get in the head of someone who's clearly pretty sharp, but is just so woefully uninformed that everything she says is full of dramatic irony.
     
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    Yeah and the EU only gave little glimpses into IU media anyway. Anyway what year is it? in BBY/ABY legends terms?
     
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