wdango
Storyteller
- Location
- Bali, Indonesia
Have to say I agree with this one.
The Forge of Creation (Naruto Gamer SI)
- Thread starter Jaune Pendragon
- Start date
Chapter Three. the first weapon...Or the second one?
Jaune Pendragon
King Of Servants
- Location
- Avalon
Unlike most Gamer stories of the manga, I don't seem to get any money for completing the quests I do just XP.
And today I'm going to be putting it to the final test. If this doesn't give me money, then it's likely the system doesn't actually give any money as drops.
Dad was out of Konoha today to bring materials. He won't be home for about a week. Tenten was at school so I have to make the most of these days.
I took out two small-sized arm guards, two small-sized leg guards a small chest piece and put them on.
For the final thing, I need a weapon.
I activated THE MAGIC FORGE and the next instant I was holding a hammer thrice the size of my body. Too big to pass through the door. I had to dismiss it before summoning it again in order to enter the forge. I knew it had a lot of weight. But as to me, it felt as weightless as a feather. The Moment I activated it I knew how to use it.
It was a one-handed hammer with some kind of turbine that spun in between them when I channelled Mana into it. The more Mana I channelled the faster it would turn and the faster and more powerful a weapon I could build.
But thanks to my tiny reserves I could barely make the turbines move at about 8 - 9 revolutions per minute while glowing a very dim blue, almost unnoticeable if you weren't looking for it.
It was painfully slow but it should be enough for what I was about to create. After all, I wasn't going to create a Legendary Blade like Excalibur or something.
Note to self. Make Excalibur one day when I am able to.
I took some scrap steel and heated it up in the forge before taking it out and placed it on the anvil.
I started to channel my Mana throughout the hammer again before imagining what I wanted to create and then I started to strike the glowing metal.
Clang.
Clang.
Clang.
Clang.
Clang.
Clang.
Clang.
Clang.
Clang.
Clang.
Clang.
It took me nearly about 4 hours to finish. I could make it work faster with two things more knowledge of what I was making or supplying with more Mana which was impossible as I was putting in enough mana that it barely kept up with my Mana regen as meagre as it was. But it was worth. I was making something a bit magical, in the sense, it was something that didn't obey the laws of physics.
But I finally managed to do it.
By some manner of magic instead of the molten scrap metal forming a thin sheet from the weight of the hammer, it took the form of exactly as I had imagined.
A gun. Or more importantly A completely silent .50 AE Desert eagle. What made it special was that it was completely silent and only I and those I have given permission could use it. Others cannot pull the trigger no matter how hard they pulled it. Not that I plan on letting anyone get their filthy hands on it.
Deactivating THE MAGIC FORGE the hammer vanished.
You know I could technically use the hammer as a weapon. As long I DONT channel any Mana all the weight of the hammer would literally crush whatever I hit.
Alright time to test them out.
Lifting my hands up I activated the one thing I had kept away from for a since I got my power.
"ID Create!"
And Reality Shattered.
And today I'm going to be putting it to the final test. If this doesn't give me money, then it's likely the system doesn't actually give any money as drops.
Dad was out of Konoha today to bring materials. He won't be home for about a week. Tenten was at school so I have to make the most of these days.
I took out two small-sized arm guards, two small-sized leg guards a small chest piece and put them on.
For the final thing, I need a weapon.
I activated THE MAGIC FORGE and the next instant I was holding a hammer thrice the size of my body. Too big to pass through the door. I had to dismiss it before summoning it again in order to enter the forge. I knew it had a lot of weight. But as to me, it felt as weightless as a feather. The Moment I activated it I knew how to use it.
It was a one-handed hammer with some kind of turbine that spun in between them when I channelled Mana into it. The more Mana I channelled the faster it would turn and the faster and more powerful a weapon I could build.
But thanks to my tiny reserves I could barely make the turbines move at about 8 - 9 revolutions per minute while glowing a very dim blue, almost unnoticeable if you weren't looking for it.
It was painfully slow but it should be enough for what I was about to create. After all, I wasn't going to create a Legendary Blade like Excalibur or something.
Note to self. Make Excalibur one day when I am able to.
I took some scrap steel and heated it up in the forge before taking it out and placed it on the anvil.
I started to channel my Mana throughout the hammer again before imagining what I wanted to create and then I started to strike the glowing metal.
Clang.
Clang.
Clang.
Clang.
Clang.
Clang.
Clang.
Clang.
Clang.
Clang.
Clang.
It took me nearly about 4 hours to finish. I could make it work faster with two things more knowledge of what I was making or supplying with more Mana which was impossible as I was putting in enough mana that it barely kept up with my Mana regen as meagre as it was. But it was worth. I was making something a bit magical, in the sense, it was something that didn't obey the laws of physics.
But I finally managed to do it.
By some manner of magic instead of the molten scrap metal forming a thin sheet from the weight of the hammer, it took the form of exactly as I had imagined.
A gun. Or more importantly A completely silent .50 AE Desert eagle. What made it special was that it was completely silent and only I and those I have given permission could use it. Others cannot pull the trigger no matter how hard they pulled it. Not that I plan on letting anyone get their filthy hands on it.
Deactivating THE MAGIC FORGE the hammer vanished.
You know I could technically use the hammer as a weapon. As long I DONT channel any Mana all the weight of the hammer would literally crush whatever I hit.
Alright time to test them out.
Lifting my hands up I activated the one thing I had kept away from for a since I got my power.
"ID Create!"
And Reality Shattered.
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Jaune Pendragon
King Of Servants
- Location
- Avalon
Duh it's already loaded.
Jaune Pendragon
King Of Servants
- Location
- Avalon
Jaune Pendragon
King Of Servants
- Location
- Avalon
Nope regular. 50 cal AE bullets. Except they are completely silent even when they break the sound barrier.
Jaune Pendragon
King Of Servants
- Location
- Avalon
He has to have a high enough chakra control in order to infuse the bullets with them but Mana yes technically he could do that. Every time he fires a bullet but there would not be any effect unless the mana is used to cast a spell on the bullet. Example, Reinforcement. It would just dissipate harmlessly.
Imagine a civilian stronger than your regular kage. On another note, can he buy bloodline releases with his skill points?
- Location
- Book Fort
- Pronouns
- They/Them
Gotta admit, I'm not that big a fan of Instant Dungeons. They're only ever used to grind exp, money, or get Super Special Items without much effort. Beyond that, they're never really integral to the plot. Instant Dungeons don't contribute to character building, world building, or the plot as a whole. There's never any genuine danger to the characters inside of it and IDs shoehorn in money enough to collapse economies, weapons that ninja would/will kill for, and useless "threats" meant only to die at the MC's hand.
As for the gun, it's a normal gun, yeah? And the only special thing about it is that it's "silenced" and that only a certain amount of people can pull the trigger? Well, what's to keep ANBU or the Village Police from catching glimpse of a unique weapon, hidden in a civi's room and stealing it? There're no protections against dismantling/breaking it for the blueprints. And we know that the Ninja World is industrialized enough to create refrigerators, generators, etc. So it's entirely possible that they'll be able to recreate it.Ninjas are masters of deceit and murder, so I highly doubt that the MC, raised in the relative peace of the modern world, would be able to effectively counteract ninjas that are born and bred in this societal system of manipulations and machinations... also there are the Hyuuga that can see through walls. (Side note, how would Magic show up to the Hyuuga/Uchiha who can see chakra?)
Unless, I suppose, guns have been rendered useless by chakra and jutsu, much in the same way that bows were thrown away in favor of guns/rifles/missiles. In which case it would simply be a "genius" child rediscovering an old technology. Interesting of note but ultimately useless. It would be like if a four/five year old built a bastila without having seen one before. Interesting and it draws a certain amount of... attention to the child, but it doesn't exactly add anything of note.
The story thus far has been kinda heavy on the grinding and a little light on worldbuilding/character building. If at all possible, I'd like to see more of that. How does the SI interact with his new baby sister? How does he handle being under the authority of an adult while he has the mentality of an adult? How does he handle the murderous nature of the Naruto World and the fact that his father profits off of it and his baby sister is going into it?
Keep in mind that: The Hidden Village system is more than a little Orwellian that most people think at first. Not to mention that privacy is something weird and varies from culture to culture. How would a society define privacy when there're a clan of ninjas that can see through walls? Or when ANBU exist? Keep in mind that the Warring Clan Period (or whatever it was called) is relatively recent. So most people would accept gov't overwatch in exchange for the relative peace that it brings, rather than the constant tension and warfare that the clan system brought. How does a "Modern Man" adapt to a world like that? Remember to factor in the setting into the story, it exists beyond and independent of the MC.
It might seem that I'm a little negative of this story, but I'm genuinely excited to see where it goes! It's simply that the things that interest me most about fanfics (character building/interactions, worldbuilding, etc) seem to have been glossed over, so far, in favor of "gaming" the Game System to become OP. Which is fine, if that's the kinda fic you're going for. He's stuck in the Naruto-verse, of course he's gonna want to be strong enough not to die. He's even decided not to become a ninja and get power that way --but he may be conscripted into it, manipulated into it, or otherwise coerced into joining... and even if you're aware of propaganda, that doesn't make you immune to it.
Besides, right now he has the body/strength of a child and the mind of a modern man --no convient specialty knowledge beyond what he's already learned/acquired. So he's at the mercy of a ever-watchful, very militarized world.
But anyway, the things I like in a fic are some things that seem to have been glossed over, which is a shame because the things that you've dropped thus far (the noodle scene specifically) are really good... I just want to see more of them. If I'm a little critical, it's because I like this story and want to see where it goes. It's because I care and that I hope that my meager perspective might lend some small amount of aid.
TL;DR: This is an interesting beginning to what I think will become a good story. You have my "watch," good sir.
As for the gun, it's a normal gun, yeah? And the only special thing about it is that it's "silenced" and that only a certain amount of people can pull the trigger? Well, what's to keep ANBU or the Village Police from catching glimpse of a unique weapon, hidden in a civi's room and stealing it? There're no protections against dismantling/breaking it for the blueprints. And we know that the Ninja World is industrialized enough to create refrigerators, generators, etc. So it's entirely possible that they'll be able to recreate it.Ninjas are masters of deceit and murder, so I highly doubt that the MC, raised in the relative peace of the modern world, would be able to effectively counteract ninjas that are born and bred in this societal system of manipulations and machinations... also there are the Hyuuga that can see through walls. (Side note, how would Magic show up to the Hyuuga/Uchiha who can see chakra?)
Unless, I suppose, guns have been rendered useless by chakra and jutsu, much in the same way that bows were thrown away in favor of guns/rifles/missiles. In which case it would simply be a "genius" child rediscovering an old technology. Interesting of note but ultimately useless. It would be like if a four/five year old built a bastila without having seen one before. Interesting and it draws a certain amount of... attention to the child, but it doesn't exactly add anything of note.
The story thus far has been kinda heavy on the grinding and a little light on worldbuilding/character building. If at all possible, I'd like to see more of that. How does the SI interact with his new baby sister? How does he handle being under the authority of an adult while he has the mentality of an adult? How does he handle the murderous nature of the Naruto World and the fact that his father profits off of it and his baby sister is going into it?
Keep in mind that: The Hidden Village system is more than a little Orwellian that most people think at first. Not to mention that privacy is something weird and varies from culture to culture. How would a society define privacy when there're a clan of ninjas that can see through walls? Or when ANBU exist? Keep in mind that the Warring Clan Period (or whatever it was called) is relatively recent. So most people would accept gov't overwatch in exchange for the relative peace that it brings, rather than the constant tension and warfare that the clan system brought. How does a "Modern Man" adapt to a world like that? Remember to factor in the setting into the story, it exists beyond and independent of the MC.
It might seem that I'm a little negative of this story, but I'm genuinely excited to see where it goes! It's simply that the things that interest me most about fanfics (character building/interactions, worldbuilding, etc) seem to have been glossed over, so far, in favor of "gaming" the Game System to become OP. Which is fine, if that's the kinda fic you're going for. He's stuck in the Naruto-verse, of course he's gonna want to be strong enough not to die. He's even decided not to become a ninja and get power that way --but he may be conscripted into it, manipulated into it, or otherwise coerced into joining... and even if you're aware of propaganda, that doesn't make you immune to it.
Besides, right now he has the body/strength of a child and the mind of a modern man --no convient specialty knowledge beyond what he's already learned/acquired. So he's at the mercy of a ever-watchful, very militarized world.
But anyway, the things I like in a fic are some things that seem to have been glossed over, which is a shame because the things that you've dropped thus far (the noodle scene specifically) are really good... I just want to see more of them. If I'm a little critical, it's because I like this story and want to see where it goes. It's because I care and that I hope that my meager perspective might lend some small amount of aid.
TL;DR: This is an interesting beginning to what I think will become a good story. You have my "watch," good sir.
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Chapter 4
Jaune Pendragon
King Of Servants
- Location
- Avalon
The ID create was an exact replica of the world except for the fact there was no living things besides myself...and plants.
As I stepped out of my home. Or at least a copy of it I immediately heard a raspy groaning sound.
Turning towards where the sound was originating from I saw several rotting corpses slowly moving towards me. Some were crawling on the ground and some stumbled forward.
A shudder went up my spine not from fear but from sheer disgust.
They were absolutely disgusting.
I whipped the gun out. Time to test this buddy.
Taking a firm stance and keeping my shoulders balance and both hands firmly gripping the handle I lined up the sights with the head of the closest Zombie.
Taking a deep breath I pulled the trigger.
And the Gun nearly flew out of my hand. Even when I was thought I was prepared for it I was not.
There was no sound from the gun. None at all. Not even the sound of the bullet passing the sound barrier. The only sound was of the Zombie's right arm flew right off.
Well I was aiming for the head.
Well that makes sense.
Now knowing how much kick this baby had I leaned a bit forward and tightened my grip as I aimed for the Torso of the Zombie.
"BANG."
This time I manged to keep my hold on it but the kick back still sent my little arm back.
Atleast I manage to take down the Zombie.
There were still more heading my way.
Moving a bit to the left I lined up my sights so that if I managed to land a head shot I would have killed two of them at once. Oh wait a third one just came up right behind them.
Deciding not to waste this opportunity. I again aimed for the head. I tried to align my sights to get all three of them.
Taking a breath I pulled the trigger.
"BANG."
The first ones head exploded like a watermelon.
The bullet wen't through the throat of the second one.
and just scratched the third one.
"Observe!"
I had six bullets left.
I aimed at the disgusting zombie's head and fired.
turned to another one and fired again.
And again
and again.
and again.
and again
and the gun was locked back now empty of bullets, and the street was a few zombies short, the bodies of the defeated not dissolving.
Gun Proficiency is now level 2
Yes please.
Hitting the circle I got several more popups.
My eyes widened at that. But this wasn't the place to check it.
"ID Exit."
Reality Shattered again and I poeple appeared around me.
I was back in the real world.
Heading back into the shop I opened my inventory and clicked on the Lesser Chakra Recovery Potion.
This was a Least Chakra Recovery potion?
Holy hell.
I took out one Gold.
...
Of all things. Really? I wonder How many Ryo I can exchange this for?
As I stepped out of my home. Or at least a copy of it I immediately heard a raspy groaning sound.
Turning towards where the sound was originating from I saw several rotting corpses slowly moving towards me. Some were crawling on the ground and some stumbled forward.
A shudder went up my spine not from fear but from sheer disgust.
They were absolutely disgusting.
I whipped the gun out. Time to test this buddy.
Taking a firm stance and keeping my shoulders balance and both hands firmly gripping the handle I lined up the sights with the head of the closest Zombie.
Taking a deep breath I pulled the trigger.
And the Gun nearly flew out of my hand. Even when I was thought I was prepared for it I was not.
There was no sound from the gun. None at all. Not even the sound of the bullet passing the sound barrier. The only sound was of the Zombie's right arm flew right off.
Well I was aiming for the head.
Well that makes sense.
Now knowing how much kick this baby had I leaned a bit forward and tightened my grip as I aimed for the Torso of the Zombie.
"BANG."
This time I manged to keep my hold on it but the kick back still sent my little arm back.
Atleast I manage to take down the Zombie.
There were still more heading my way.
Moving a bit to the left I lined up my sights so that if I managed to land a head shot I would have killed two of them at once. Oh wait a third one just came up right behind them.
Deciding not to waste this opportunity. I again aimed for the head. I tried to align my sights to get all three of them.
Taking a breath I pulled the trigger.
"BANG."
The first ones head exploded like a watermelon.
The bullet wen't through the throat of the second one.
and just scratched the third one.
"Observe!"
I had six bullets left.
I aimed at the disgusting zombie's head and fired.
turned to another one and fired again.
And again
and again.
and again.
and again
and the gun was locked back now empty of bullets, and the street was a few zombies short, the bodies of the defeated not dissolving.
Gun Proficiency is now level 2
Yes please.
Hitting the circle I got several more popups.
My eyes widened at that. But this wasn't the place to check it.
"ID Exit."
Reality Shattered again and I poeple appeared around me.
I was back in the real world.
Heading back into the shop I opened my inventory and clicked on the Lesser Chakra Recovery Potion.
This was a Least Chakra Recovery potion?
Holy hell.
I took out one Gold.
...
Of all things. Really? I wonder How many Ryo I can exchange this for?
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- Location
- Australia
yer maybe edit it and have him exit his ID in the store? unless ur intentionally making him fuckup like that? because there is no way in hell he would not get forcefully conscripted with a Space-time ninjutsu
Jaune Pendragon
King Of Servants
- Location
- Avalon
if a ninja saw him yes... yes it would.
Jaune Pendragon
King Of Servants
- Location
- Avalon
Thank you for your criticism...I'll try to incorporate more world building/character building.
Chapter 4.5
Jaune Pendragon
King Of Servants
- Location
- Avalon
Stupid Stupid Stupid. I cursed silently. What the hell was I thinking, Exiting the ID out in the OPEN? Right I wasn't thinking at all!
I gave a sigh of relief.
I just hope I wasn't seen by any Anbu or Jounin.
Hmm. I guess it's time to pick up Tenten from the Academy.
I got ready as I combed my hair headed and then headed down locking the door before I took of on a slow jog towards the Academy.
While I was jogging a curious thought came to mind...
You know this is a perfect place to cosplay. No one would even know what I was doing.
Oh oh. I could dress up as Emiya, or even Kintoki...but I didn't have the build for that and I'm too short...
But Once I grow tall enough and get myself a bit buff then I could do it....
Mwahahahahaha!
"MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"
"Hey, why are you laughing like that?"
I stopped and snapped towards where the voice came from. Oh, I was already at the academy? I really need to stop dozing off.
Wait who said that.
I scratched my eyes for a second unable to believe what I was seeing.
"Hey." She poked my face. Holy shit she's real. "You didn't answer my question."
It was Naruko.
Yes, you heard me right.
No, this is not happening, I am not in a fanfiction.
I am NOT going to date Naruko! NO one can force me to!
Turning my head to the sky I yelled out in frustration.
"FUCK YOU ZELRETCH! FUCK YOU KISHIMOTO. FUCK YOU ROB. FUCK ALL THREE OF YOU!"
I panted as I tried to catch my breath.
"Hey, you know no need to swear, I was just asking why you were laughing so weirdly."
"First I was having a good day. Then I realized the world was not the one I thought I was in. So yeah now I'm not having a good day."
"Huh? What do you mean dattebayo? This world is this world."
I facepalmed. Right were dealing with Naruko here not Shikamaru or Sasuke. At least they would know I was having an existential crisis.
"Hey! bro!"
OH looks like Tenten is coming.
As she came to a stop in front of us she turned to Naruko with a curious look on her face. "So who are you?"
"I'm Uzumaki Naruko, I'm gonna be a Hokage believe it!"
"Oh, you'll be a Hokage?" Tenten raised her eyebrow with a hint of disbelief. "How? You know you have to get good marks first you know."
"She'll be Hokage alright," I muttered remembering the Original naruto series.
"REALLY? You mean it!" I stepped back. she was leaning a bit too close and her eyes were watery.
"Mhmm, I'm sure you'll be Lord Seventh soon enough."
"Yeah, wait, lord seventh? Then whose going to be fifth and sixth?"
I saw no problem telling them, not like they were going to remember this conversation after a few years anyway.
"The fifth will be Lady Senju Tsunade. She's a student of the current Hokage and the Sixth will be Lord Hatake Kakashi student of the Fourth Hokage."
Wait what's happening?
Tenten was squeeing. "Oh my god, Tsunade-sama is going to be the next Hokage? OH my gosh, I can't wait!" I was tackled into a hug from Tenten. "This is the best news ever. I can't wait to meet lady Tsunade. When is she going to be Hokage?"
"In about 6 or 7 years."
"A student of the Fouth?! Wait. But how does he know that?" Naruko finally asked.
"Oh don't worry big brother knows a lot of things." I do not understand why she calls me big brother even if I am clearly on year younger.
"Wait he's your big brother? But he's shorter than you."
"Yeah, but he's still older you know, Big bro taught me a lot of stuff, Hey, hey, you know bro even taught me a secret Language he made."
"No way!"
"Tenten! No!" I warned her.
"Oh come on. It's not like anyone can speak it anyway," she said changing to English.
"I really shouldn't have taught it to you."
And thus very reluctantly a friendship was born.
I gave a sigh of relief.
I just hope I wasn't seen by any Anbu or Jounin.
Hmm. I guess it's time to pick up Tenten from the Academy.
I got ready as I combed my hair headed and then headed down locking the door before I took of on a slow jog towards the Academy.
While I was jogging a curious thought came to mind...
You know this is a perfect place to cosplay. No one would even know what I was doing.
Oh oh. I could dress up as Emiya, or even Kintoki...but I didn't have the build for that and I'm too short...
But Once I grow tall enough and get myself a bit buff then I could do it....
Mwahahahahaha!
"MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"
"Hey, why are you laughing like that?"
I stopped and snapped towards where the voice came from. Oh, I was already at the academy? I really need to stop dozing off.
Wait who said that.
I scratched my eyes for a second unable to believe what I was seeing.
"Hey." She poked my face. Holy shit she's real. "You didn't answer my question."
It was Naruko.
Yes, you heard me right.
No, this is not happening, I am not in a fanfiction.
I am NOT going to date Naruko! NO one can force me to!
Turning my head to the sky I yelled out in frustration.
"FUCK YOU ZELRETCH! FUCK YOU KISHIMOTO. FUCK YOU ROB. FUCK ALL THREE OF YOU!"
I panted as I tried to catch my breath.
"Hey, you know no need to swear, I was just asking why you were laughing so weirdly."
"First I was having a good day. Then I realized the world was not the one I thought I was in. So yeah now I'm not having a good day."
"Huh? What do you mean dattebayo? This world is this world."
I facepalmed. Right were dealing with Naruko here not Shikamaru or Sasuke. At least they would know I was having an existential crisis.
"Hey! bro!"
OH looks like Tenten is coming.
As she came to a stop in front of us she turned to Naruko with a curious look on her face. "So who are you?"
"I'm Uzumaki Naruko, I'm gonna be a Hokage believe it!"
"Oh, you'll be a Hokage?" Tenten raised her eyebrow with a hint of disbelief. "How? You know you have to get good marks first you know."
"She'll be Hokage alright," I muttered remembering the Original naruto series.
"REALLY? You mean it!" I stepped back. she was leaning a bit too close and her eyes were watery.
"Mhmm, I'm sure you'll be Lord Seventh soon enough."
"Yeah, wait, lord seventh? Then whose going to be fifth and sixth?"
I saw no problem telling them, not like they were going to remember this conversation after a few years anyway.
"The fifth will be Lady Senju Tsunade. She's a student of the current Hokage and the Sixth will be Lord Hatake Kakashi student of the Fourth Hokage."
Wait what's happening?
Tenten was squeeing. "Oh my god, Tsunade-sama is going to be the next Hokage? OH my gosh, I can't wait!" I was tackled into a hug from Tenten. "This is the best news ever. I can't wait to meet lady Tsunade. When is she going to be Hokage?"
"In about 6 or 7 years."
"A student of the Fouth?! Wait. But how does he know that?" Naruko finally asked.
"Oh don't worry big brother knows a lot of things." I do not understand why she calls me big brother even if I am clearly on year younger.
"Wait he's your big brother? But he's shorter than you."
"Yeah, but he's still older you know, Big bro taught me a lot of stuff, Hey, hey, you know bro even taught me a secret Language he made."
"No way!"
"Tenten! No!" I warned her.
"Oh come on. It's not like anyone can speak it anyway," she said changing to English.
"I really shouldn't have taught it to you."
And thus very reluctantly a friendship was born.
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Jaune Pendragon
King Of Servants
- Location
- Avalon
I hope this is more to your liking?
A writer unable to place himself in the position of the character happens -- such as just throwing away the obvious concern of his need for subtlety in a village of ninjas. A real person would think long and thoroughly on what he does, the writer just want to quickly finish the paragraph. However, if when an incoherence appears the answer is just to handwave it away, I'm out. Good luck with the story.
- Location
- Australia
another mistake so soon seriously? he confirms this isn't canon yet neglects the possibility of Naruko not having constant watcher?
Jaune Pendragon
King Of Servants
- Location
- Avalon
Wow. Leaving so fast... I had something fun for that... But oh well can't force someone to stay.
Not exactly at the moment, he is kind of in a bad mood of in and fuck everything mood.
besides even if someone was watching I highly doubt they would really take anything a child says seriously.
- Location
- Australia
yes but i'm one on those "if you do it within Konoha Danzo knows and he's having you watched closer now due to Ninja Death world Paranoia" people >.<
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