The Biggest Clusterfuck That Ever Was [KanColle X World of Warships] (Sorta kinda maybe)

«Affirmative Royalist, I'm closing to your position at 32 knots and should arrive soon. My airwings have been dispatched, I'll do what I can to intercept those bombers, hang in there!»
I barely heard that transmission; I was too engrossed in examining the tactical situation. The surviving destroyers were still lurking behind their constantly-refreshed smoke-screen, now about seven clicks to my north. Off to their east, TorpedoTerror was staying inside the screen I'd laid for her, rippling off spreads of Type 93s as fast as her tubes could cycle, laying down a constant wall of explosive death between the DDs and me to discourage any of them from making a torpedo-run against me. No-one needs to tell that woman how to run her ship! The Vals had strayed too close as they tried to circle around to my south-east to set up their run, and a single broadside of PFHE from my 5.25s had torn two of them from the sky before they could get back out of range. The Jeans had split into two sections, trying to pincer me from the south-west and north-west.

Emphasis on trying: I'd read The Book on torpedo-tactics too, probably more thoroughly than many starter carrier-drivers, and once the Vals had backed off, I'd concentrated my 5.25s and starboard AA batteries on the northern section of torpedo-bombers. Even as Sanctum's transmission ended, the last of the northern B4Ys took a burst of 40mm from 'Q'-mount that ripped off its lower left wing at the root; the upper left wing tore away with it, and the rest of the plane cartwheeled across the wavetops, disintegrating in a long spray of chitinous-black chunks.

That makes this a bit less complicated. The fellow across the table must be feeling a little vexed with us right now.

Even as I shifted the helm a little, bringing my guns and AA batteries onto the southern wave of B4Ys, things got so much worse for 'the fellow across the table': Sanctum's fighters arrived, howling up from the south-east. I blinked as I recognised them. Sea Vampire F.20s? I'd call that 'completely unfair', if these weren't Abyssals we're fighting — or if it wasn't so good for my chances of staying alive!

Give them their due: the Claude drivers in the enemy CAP had guts. They had to know they had no chance of surviving or winning, but they still dove in to attack the oncoming jets. Only one flight of Sea Vampires turned to meet them, but the result was no contest. Three of the six A5Ms exploded or fell flaming from the sky before the merge, shattered by the quad Hispanos of the British jets, and the others lasted only as long as it took for the Vampires to come back around.

The other two flights of Sea Vampires fell on the D3As like wolves on a crippled deer, which pretty much ended any chance of a serious dive-bombing attack.
«Royalist, I've closed to visual range. Can you confirm?»
A quick glance to the south-east showed me one of the most wonderful sights I could have hoped for, and even as the surviving B4Ys pressed their attack — more despairing than truly hopeful, I imagined — I found myself laughing. I swear, I raised a fist and cheered. An Implacable-class carrier? Whoever he is, he has superb taste! "Hurrah for the best of British!"

Meanwhile, only two Jeans had made it to drop-range, and I'd already turned to comb the tracks. The 5.25s couldn't track on the biplanes as they went down either side of me, but they didn't have to: 'P'-mount Fast Forty tore the tailplane off of one, and the other flew into the streams of tracer from two of my starboard twin-30mm mounts and just dropped straight into the sea, utterly riddled.

«Looks like we scared 'em off, Ralston!» TorpedoTerror crowed. I glanced at the map and saw she was right: the sudden loss of their air-support must have convinced the Abyssal destroyers that they couldn't win. According to the data-feed from Sanctum's fighters, and the Avengers coming up behind them, the DDs had used the smoke and the distraction of fighting off the air-strike to leg it to the north-west at top speed, harried by TT's guns. «Shall we chase 'em down, give the party a big finish?»

So they can lead us into the cruisers/battleships that must be escorting that carrier? Yeah,
not a great idea. "Nah, they've had enough for today. Once they get out of range, leave 'em for Sanctum's Avengers — let the Brylcreem Boys earn their flight-pay for a change."

Still, that doesn't mean we can't let them know we care. I did turn my own broadside to the fleeing quintet of Sampson-analogues and throw another few salvoes of SAP after them. Even with RN guns, I didn't really expect too many hits against targets so distant, especially ones giving me a rear-quarter aspect in full-speed retreat, but once again luck and skill met: two shells from the second salvo plunged down into the second-rearmost DD, and it staggered to a halt, burning amidships. TorpedoTerror had a little luck of her own, scoring a hit on another's stern, but he managed to maintain speed until he got out of our ranges. We both switched our fire to the cripple after that, pummeling the little bastard to a gutted, flaming hulk with our combined batteries.

Even as my guns worked on the dying Sampson, I watched Sanctum's torpedo-bombers loop out ahead of the four fleeing destroyers, already knowing that they'd probably miss. That rule of thumb had been around since the early days of the game: you could kill cruisers or battleships with torpedo-bombers, but for destroyers dive-bombers were the more optimal choice. Unfortunately, the last DB the Royal Navy used was the Fairey Barracuda, and that was retired long before the Sea Vampire made it aboard British carriers! Nonetheless, I do love watching pros work, and their attack was a textbook-perfect perpendicular strike across the centre of the destroyers' formation, launched from barely a kilometre out. Two of the destroyers managed to dance between all of the fish that came their way; a third almost pulled it off, but the spacing on the criss-crossing spreads was just too tight, and a single hit broke it in half. The last was the one TorpedoTerror's shell had hit; she must have knocked out the steering gear, because even though it altered speed to try to slip the pattern, it didn't turn at all. Two torpedoes smacked into its starboard side, and it turned turtle in less than a minute.

With that, the Sea Vampires and Avengers turned back towards Sanctum to land. Even as the first plane entered the landing pattern, the minimap flashed an 'attention' signal on a particular sector, off in the islands to the south-west, as the carrier sent a new transmission my way.
«Royalist, this is HMS Sanctum; recon flights report a naval installation centered around the local island chain. Advise you head there immediately, over.»
«Sounds like he thinks it's friendly,» TorpedoTerror chimed in on a private channel.

"Yeah, it does. What do you think?"

«It's worth a look. Even if it's more Abyssals, we might actually find some answers there... once we finish cleaning the place out.»

"Took the words right out of my mouth, TT." Back on the public channel, I cleared my throat before speaking. "Lead the way, Sanctum; we'll watch the back-trail, in case those destroyers find enough friends to have another go at us. Be advised, TorpedoTerror and I intend to remain at Action Stations until we confirm that base's loyalties and intentions."
 
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Looks like I got caught up in a storyline. Damn, and I thought I had a few hours of peace and quiet.
 
Kongou and I had just stepped outside when we heard the droning of multiple aircraft. Sure enough, a pair of planes roared overhead.

"Floatplanes. Unknown make and model." I stated. "Estimated altitude is about angels' two."

"Do you think they're friendly, Admiral?" Kongou asked.

"Dunno, but I'm changing plans. Get this thing warmed up. I'm heading back to mine. I'd rather not stick around and find out."

"If they attack us, I'll give them a dose of BURNING LOVE!"

That… I wasn't sure what to think of that.

"Yeah… just get this damn ship running. I'll raise you over the radio once I'm back on mine. Oh, and did you figure out a name for the ship?"

"Yours?"

"No, yours."

"Oh! I never thought about that. How about you name it, Admiral~?"

It took me a second to think up of one. Another fleeting memory. "Very well, I hereby christen this ship- the Absolution!"

"That's an AWESOME name!"

"Yep. Once you're out of the docks, pull up next to thst Yorktown and see if anyone's there, and search the Fletchers afterwards!"

"As you say, Teitoku~."

The recon flight passed overhead again as I rushed over to the motorboat. I noted they were headed away on a roughly 280 heading. Looks like that's where the guys that sent 'em are coming from. I found myself aboard my cruiser not long after and rushed my way up towards the bridge. I could feel everything in the ship. The engines were hot, the guns were loaded with 203mm high explosive shells, and the sole floatplane was ready to launch at anytime.

With a thought, I raised the anchors and fired up the engines. The Barberton was now underway, and I could see the Absolution slowly making it's way forward. I grabbed a radio headset and didn't bother changing frequency. Hopefully nobody was listening in.

"Absolution actual, this is Barberton. Need a SITREP, over." I called out.

«Barberton, this is Absolution. Everything's working WONDERFULLY! Just like this is fresh out of the shipyard!» Kongou responded.

"Good to hear. Pull up next to that Yorktown and see if anyone's awake. I'll provide anti-air cover."

«Roger that, Admiral! You can count on me!»

I pulled out in front of the battleship and made my way out of the docks. The Absolution followed and prepared to deploy it's sole recon plane. I do hope she'll wait until she clears the docks. However, the radio flared to life as several new voices rang out. All of whom were chicks.

«Is anyone there? This is Hornet to any friendly units-»

«O'Bannon here, thank God I'm not alone!»

«G-guys? What's g-going on?»

«Johnston to group! Who the hell dumped us here!?»

«Johnston? Is that you? It's me, Hoel! Thank god you're here!»

"Absolution? Your orders are rescinded. Hold position outside of the harbor and await new orders."

«Solid copy, Admiral!»

«This is Hornet. Who's squaking on my frequency?»

"Hornet actual and any other ships in harbor, this is James… I kinda forgot my last name. That's not important. What is however, is that an unknown recon flight just passed over. We likely have an unknown and possibly hostile fleet inbound. We may have no idea how we wound up here. All that matters is that we find a way to stay alive until we can get some goddamn answers. I know that battleship behind me is with me. Is anyone else going to join in?"

«Hornet copies all. I'm with you until we can raise home.»

«This is O'Bannon. I'm in.»

«William D-D. Porter a-acknoweledges. What are your orders, sir?»

«This is Johnston. Hoel and I will join. We've faced worse before. Did you see anyone else?»

"That's a negative, Johnston actual. We appear to be the only ships in the area. We'll have to sweep the area once we deal with the bogeys. There may be more, but we have bigger priorities right now."

«Hornet copies. Preparing to scramble air cover.»

«O'Bannon here. Wait until we can get clear.»

"Bogeys were last seen headed away from here on a 280 heading. Hold on, forgot to switch on radar…"

«Johnston to Admiral James, interrogative. You forgot to turn on your ship's radar?»

"Shut up. Anyway, all ships are to snap to 280 degrees and make best possible speed away from the harbor. It's a miracle they haven't started shelling us, and I for one don't want to be around if they decide to do so."

«Hornet here. Should we maintain radio silence?»

"We've chit-chatted too much. No point. We need to get out of here. That's priority number one. Do all vessels copy?"

«Absolution copies.»

«Hornet copies.»

«O'Bannon copies.»

«William D. Porter copies.»

«Johnston copies.»

«Hoel copies.»

"Good. Let's move. Over and out."

With that, we set off after the planes. All we had to do was follow the same course they took and deal with the fleet.

«Hornet to all ships: Radar has spotted multiple unknown vessels bearing 290, range 40 clicks and closing.»

I picked the radio back up. "Solid copy, Hornet actual. Time for a little public broadcast."

I switched the radio dial to 'all' and spoke up again. "To the unknown vessels bearing 110 on a direct course for the harbor. This is Admiral James of the USS Barberton. You are hereby asked to identify yourselves and state your intentions or you will be considered hostile and sent to the bottom. Do any of you acknoweledge?"

Time seemed to come to a standstill as we waited for a response.
 
So, small update on my status.

Shipgirls at my location:
Atago
Takao
Midway
Louisiana
 
"This is the Armored Fleet Carrier HMS Sanctum, I read you Barberton. My intentions are non hostile, I repeat, non hostile. I'm on course for the harbor to see of anyone else knows what's going on here." I replied as fast as I could, which was a bit slow as my headset was nowhere near me at the moment. I had left it on the helm station while I was sitting in CIC at the Radar control. I was now, of course, standing on the bridge and watching the seas split before my bow as my distance to the island chain closed to the point where I could see the other ships. Just in case, I prepped my dual purpose 4.5 inchers....maybe there would be an air attack...I dunno. I tapped my headset to the correct frequency again and included a bit of info I had forgotten to mention.

"Be advised Barberton, I have two friendly escorts bringing up the rear. We have engaged and successfully repelled a hostile Destroyer force backed by a Carrier a few clicks northeast of here. Advise you remain at action stations until we can confirm the hostiles have retreated or been completely dispatched, over."

I continued forward into the harbor as the ship's classes and design became apparent. A Kongo-class Battleship, a Pensacola-class Cruiser, a Yorktown-class Carrier, and a small force of Fletcher-class Destroyers....okay, now, let's see if they open up those guns of theirs.

Hopefully, they didn't.
 
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I looked around and brushed off my Mass Effect N7 Kane-Hedar Armor, well technically it was a costume that South Dakota made for me for Comic con. But for some strange reason, she added Kevlar armor under the decorative plates. But that's beside the point. After roughly 2 hours of exploring the ship, which was apparently part of me, discovering the parts of the ship that I could and could not control, I discovered that I could control every part of the ship with my mind. Well, almost everything. I had found out that, much to my dismay, I could not get the ice cream machine to turn on. I had also discovered that I had somehow received super-human strength and agility. Being able to jump from one end of my ship-form to the other could help. I walked out onto the deck, and saw that I was no longer alone. There were four other ships drifting aimlessly in the water around me. It wasn't hard to identify their classes, two were Takao class heavy cruisers, and the other two were a Montana class battleship and a Midway class aircraft carrier. Unlike my ship, which had the words "Gipsy Danger" stenciled on the side, the other ships had the names of their original counterparts written on their hulls. Their hulls read Atago, Takao, Midway, and ... Louisiana. Louisiana was a mere 25 meters from me, so I backed up to the forward turret and sprinted towards the prow, and jumped. And landed on top of (by accident of course) the very woman I was planning on proposing to this afternoon.

"Took you long enough!" She said

"Sorry, I had to explore my ship!"

"The others are on Midway's flight deck. They're trying to come up with a plan of action."

"Better get over there I guess."

I turned around to look at the Midway, but I stopped when I saw the massive black hurricane approaching us. Something about it felt wrong. As if the storm wasn't natural.

"That doesn't look too inviting."

"We're trying to figure out what to do about it."

"What do you mean?"

"During the Abyssal war, large Abyssal battleships often generated squalls, or even typhoons and hurricanes. But they were never that big!"

"Shit." I muttered as bright blue and red lightning jumped from cloud to cloud in the storm.

It didn't take us long to get onto the Midway's flight deck. Standing among the scattered aircraft were some familiar faces. Including Atago and Takao themselves, along with Midway, the largest aircraft carrier ever built. Midway waved us over, and we obliged. Once we got over to them, Midway cut right to the chase.

"Ok, so the only way out of this bay is through that storm." she informed us.

"I'm guessing there's something nasty waiting for us inside it as well." I mused.

"I already sent a scout plane in there, it reported a massive battleship of and unknown class."

"Anything else?" Louisiana asked

"Other than that what ever the hell is in there is larger than Yamato, we don't know anything."

"Wonderful..." me and Lois said at the same time.

Lois is Louisiana's name that she used to keep her identity a secret after the Abyssal war, I only used because of that same reason.

"We should sail into the storm and destroy what is causing it." Takao suggested.

"I agree with my sister, it is our only course of action." Atago said.

"I'm in on this as well." I said.

"Right, we should sail in diamond formation, around me." Midway said.

"I guess we have a plan then!" Atago said happily.

"Everyone, head back to your ship-body-form-whatevers." Midway said, "We need to move in 20 minutes!"

"PANPANKAPAN!" Atago shouted as she jumped back to her ship-form.

Me, Lois, and Takao returned to our ships without a word.

20 minutes later...



Our small fleet set out for the eye of the storm bearing down on it. It had advanced quite a bit in the last 20 minutes, so it didn't take us very long to hit the rain. We all retreated inside the bridges of our respective ships to take shelter from the rain, which lashed across the decks. It was then that the swells started, tossing our ships around and slowing our advance to a crawl. Atago and Takao did their best to sail around the waves, but it only did so much. Me and Lois were forced to plow through them, causing us to lose speed with each wave. Then I checked the radar sceen, and my jaw nearly hit the floor when I saw the shear size of the ship that I had just detected.

Then I saw it firsthand through the windows of the bridge as I rode over another massive swell. It was twice the size of Midway, and it was steaming straight towards me. Lightning flashed and I saw its twisted silhouette. It was jagged and uneven, with gun and turrets covering every surface they could. There were also bright blue lights dotting the ship every few feet, and seemed to blink like eyes. No wait, they were eyes, as I could feel them stare at me. However, the most striking feature was the massive swirling plume of black smoke and red lightning that was being pumped out of its main smokestack. I grabbed the radio.

"GUYS!" I shouted "There is one HUGE ship and its coming right at me!"

"Where!? I don't see anything! Atago responded.

"I don't see anything either." Takao said.

"Same here!" Louisiana said.

"Me too..." Midway finally responded.

"How can you guys NOT see it?! Its twice the size of Midway!"

"WHAT!?" They all shouted at once.

I willed the boilers to maximum power, and accelerated towards the enemy ship. I stood up from the captain's chair and stepped outside on to the deck. Then I willed the search lights to turn on and face the enemy ship. The beams of light lanced through the rain, highlighted the massive alien ship.

"Oh my god..." Midway and Lois breathed.



"You want a fight?" I shouted at the Abyssal ship, "WELL YOU JUST GOT ONE!"

"Midway, fall back!" Lois shouted as her boilers belched smoke as they hit maximum power.

"We will cover you!" Atago shouted.

"Everyone, target the enemy ship, fire on my mark!" I shouted.

I turned back towards the enemy ship, and willed my turrets to face it. As soon as they were on target, I gave the order.

"OPEN FIRE!"

The fury of the combined fire power of two battle ships and two heavy cruisers flew across the distance and slammed into the Abyssal super-dreadnought. And it did nothing. Then the massive ship returned fire.

...
...

I'll finish this up later.
 
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Welp, time to do a copy/paste job. I was honestly expecting more of a standoff.
 
As I entered the bridge I turned out like much of the rest of the ship empty, cold and depressing. I had figured that maybe the bridge wold have had some life or at least a means of communication to see if anyone else was there. I suppose that since i spent a good bit of time making my way up here a more detailed search for something is in order. So far the internal structure of the bridge was essentially a bridge belonging to a North Carolina but with some slight modifications, most notably the windows we all over and allowed for a better view of the ocean around me, and BY ALL THAT IS HOLY THERE IS A CHAIR HELL YES FINALLY A PLACE TO REST.

Not caring about the intricacies of the rest of the bridge i immediately sat down only to nearly sit on something that was already on the chair standing back up I turned to look at it it was a small headset sort of like the ones used on an Xbox one though there was some kind of holographic lens in front of it and some joystick. figuring that there was nothing to lose i put it on and picked up the stick, "whats the worst that could happen?"

Feeling around the headset i found a button on the earpiece pushing it the a HUD similar to the world of warships HUD came up map little targeting reticule. "hmmm I wonder." pressing that button again i got a convenient listing of all That I could do, looking to the side the turrets began to move along with my line of view. Holy shit If I was thinking about this correctly I was theoretically the ship itself. Only one way to find out, I turned over to the side to shift the aim of the turrets for a broadside, noticing the HE shells loaded on my HUD for lack of a better showing i just thought fire all guns. BOOM as the ship shook from the fire of all nine 16 inch guns my thoughts were confirmed, I was indeed the ship itself. Turning back to the chair and sitting down on it I couldn't stop thinking; Was I the only one, was I stuck here for the remainder of my life... Those two points really struck m, as memories of my brothers came flooding to the forefront, and all i had connecting me to the old world was a few music players full of music, and a proximity alert saying i had been spotted. "Wait that last one should not be there at all" standing right back up I felt panic swell in me as I immediately shifted over to the third person perspective and began looking around for anything that could have spotted me, and there was indeed one thing that could have spotted me, up in the air at about 10km away was a flight of Kyōfū fighters. the odd thing was they had this green glow going on so maybe they were friendly?

At that point I had one choice to make and I only hope that it was the right one. "This is North Carolina Class battleship Manta to unknown flight of fighters I would like to come into contact with the captain of your home carrier over". I waited for their response...and waited....and waited


and waiting... "Hello this is Aircraft carrier Taihou contacting the battleship Manta do you read?" breaking my focus from waiting i managed to receive some confirmation about not being alone. i gave my response. "Battleship Manta reads you Taihou are you near a port I can dock at?" as nothing came back over the channel I sat back down and waited. and waited


"this is Taihou I am near a port just follow my fighters towards me and there should be a dock you can stop at." seeing the fighters that were circling the area begin to move towards something I ordered myself to all ahead full and began the long haul towards the supposed only other entity in my operational area. "onward to the other ship in the area." I have to wonder why did it take her so long to respond?
 
FOR REFERENCE

Alphonse is wearing a navy-blue jacket with appropriate rank insignia, a black waistcoat, black trousers and brown boots. He also has a peaked cap with the Admiral rank detail from the Japanese Navy, and he has his trusty Colt Combat Commander chambered in .45 ACP in a sling holster. He also has a silver pocketwatch pocketwatch with a compass and a picture of Erika in it.

Erika is wearing a greyish-black greatcoat with a black waistcoat and white dress shirt, and a pleated skirt with white frills on the inside. Her rigging is a 'spider'-style futuristic backpack, with the four dual-mount 580 mm cannons arranged so that they can fire in her rear arc and her forward arc independent of her current facing. She also has four quad torpedo launchers along the backpack, and a small smokestack and RADAR mast that pokes up out of the backpack, like an antenna. She has taken a liking to the G3, and carries around a G3A2 with a thermal scope attached to it. She also carries a copy of Alphonse's Colt Commander under her nice hat.
 
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I'm wearing a white Admiral's uniform with blue highlights and campaign ribbions (that basically represent every quest I've participated in here on SV) and a tan flak vest. It might look awful, but it might come in handy…
 
I'm wearing this essentially:

Only the lights are blue.
Because why not.
 
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As long as it doesn't have kinetic barriers or any other systems....I can live with it.
Just seems like a bit...much.
Nah, it's just cosmetic. The story is that I had SoDak make it for me for Comicon. Which I never got to go to because of the flight got canceled due to the weather.
 
The N7 Suit? Nope, if you've played Mass Effect 3 before Dead Space 3, than you can unlock the suit.
Oh that is awesome.

But about the suit that I'm wearing, SoDak went a little overboard with it. And added Kevlar armor underneath the carbon fiber plates. Because she could.
 
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