SV Original Magical Girl Crossover

Provides a source of potential conflict through the middle stages, though obviously we'd not want to do it too much as it could easily confuse readers.
It's a good way of implementing the classic hero vs hero shenanigans of these kinda crossovers.

Have some cast be minibosses, bounce their personalities off others with a clear reason to do so, have a dramatic moment where their portrait and map sprite flip mindwipe wears off and they awaken to Justice, that kinda thing.
 
如願以償 Goals
Also gonna throw in a buncha random low-level goals I have. Though some of these are very mundane "write some kinda scene" so they're adding up to a bit more than the stated 2-to-3.

Oh yeah, do the people of the VR world know what movies are, or will Guard B have to talk about famed playwright Beat Takeshi and his autobiographical theatrical productions?

Writer Goals: Crimson Flight
  • Write scenes where Hayate attempts to make small talk about the big screen with other characters.
  • Write scenes where Skiold can show off more of his amicable personality through small interactions with the Break-In cast.
  • Write a scene where Chachua talks about the immense power of humanity's collective wishes.
  • Delay Hayate's actual awakening until a little bit into the story, to increase the amount of time spent with a Hayate removed from the context of being a normal high school second year and volunteer Eidola Strela.
  • My buddy @Dexterity asked if Skiold would be able to keep up with Ida ALV and given that it does sound fun to write how he interacts with a significantly less tetchy hero, I'd be down. @Shadell you got any ideas about that?
Character Goals: Eidola Strela (Shin Hayate)
  • Long-Term: Finish the semester. Protect Chachua (ongoing activity).
  • Mid-Term/Story 1: Get out of LSVR and finish Zatoichi TV Season 3 (1978).
  • Short-Term: Guard B really needs to deal with this weird constant knocking in the ear. It makes weird "chawa, chawa, chawa" sounds. A visit to the apothecary for some ear stuff might be necessary really soon.
Character Goals: Chachua
  • Long-Term: Grant pure wishes, chawa. See more of Japanese society.
  • Mid-Term/Story 1: Get out of LSVR and finish Zatoichi TV Season 3 (1978).
  • Short-Term: Try to wake up Hayate. Why doesn't the warrior of light notice their attempts to break through the wall of the VR world's reality, chawa? And why a guard? They need to get out of here, chawa!
Character Goals: Skiold
  • Long-Term: Capture a member of the Chawam Clan for their wish-making powers.
  • Mid-Term/Story 1: Find a way into and stop LVSR in order to successfully make contact with Eidola Strela and Chachua of the Chawam Clan (both currently MIA), otherwise it would be impossible to fulfil the long-term goal of capturing a wish-maker.
  • Short-Term: Look for Eidola Strela and Chachua. Form alliances with anybody with similar goals.
 
Fool Bloom Goals
Writer Goals:
  • Contrast the younger MGs with the largely forty-something Hanazakari.
  • Do more with Hibiki's character than in Fool Bloom.
  • Have Miyako's fangirlishness cause chaos. In particular have her interact with fellow
  • See what unfolds when Koyomi and Yumemi team up, much as their methods differ.
  • Put Emi in a situation where she's torn between following Koyomi and retreating into fantasy.

Character Goals: Koyomi Arisugawa (Black Rose)
  • Long Term: She'd say she just wants to be left alone to write books, but really it's to help anyone that RUNE doesn't care to, and vanquish threats like Blue Lotus before RUNE intervenes and risks making everything worse.
  • Mid Term: Destroy the VR world and set everyone free, as well as keep an eye on Ayaka due to her immaturity and inexperience, and especially keep an eye on whatever Yumemi's planning.
  • Short Term: Find out just what this world is, if any other Hanazakari have been captured, and find out Yumemi's deal.

Character Goals: Miyako Nozawa
  • Long: It should be getting into college for a journalism degree, as well as publishing an article on RUNE corruption. But she's all too content to slack off and try to meet Hanazakari she can (even if that doesn't always go well), as well as pick up any pretty boys.
  • Mid: She knows she should help to stop whatever's behind the VR world, but she just wants to meet as many MGs as she can, and hopefully not have to separate from them if the VR world is brought to an end.
  • Short: Explore and meet new people, and try to get along with the rest of the Break-in term. Try to see if she can now learn magic for herself, having learned you can be a MG without being a Hanazakari.

Character Goals: Yumemi Hoshizora (White Egret)
  • Long: As Brigadier of RUNE's Japan branch, guard the world against any supernatural threats, or at least anything deemed as such. More personally, to win Koyomi back to her side or at least keep her under control, so that her biggest protester is silenced.
  • Mid: Assigned the role of 'Magic School Headmistress', she plans to turn the students into an army she can use against Gloriana, so she can confiscate the VR world, SV lyre, and Sidra for RUNE.
  • Short: Learn anything she can about the VR world and access whether it's a threat to RUNE.

Character Goals: Hibiki Izumi (Hellebore)
  • Long: She'd tell you it'd be to fulfill any role given to her, acting or otherwise, so she isn't left alone with herself. But deep down, she does want to achieve something genuinely heroic to make up for past misdeeds, in sync with even 'Dark Princes' having buried hearts of gold.
  • Mid: Assigned 'Dark Prince', her goal would be to capture maidens, or anyone assigned that role, just as a regular prince saves maidens. This begs the question of just how different the two actions really are, as neither respect said maiden's autonomy. As she's desperate to forget her true self, she wouldn't take well to finding out the truth of the world.
  • Short: Go after anyone maidenly enough, such as Zaiyu, and shut out any hints that this world might be a lie. Also, watch over and mentor any other power-copiers like Sasori and Invidia.

Character Goals: Emi Daimon (Orange)
  • Long: Largely unsure, due to her personal life being devastated from overwork, having joined a cult, and getting fired. But she wants to stick around Koyomi as much as possible, likely having transferred her adoration of cult leader Mariya onto her, and avoid getting dragged back into the cult. Also, make sure she never has to use her main power ever again.
  • Mid: As an Automaton/Maid, find a 'master' to 'serve'. After getting her memories back, be torn on helping destroy the dreamworld because it's what Koyomi wants, and keeping it in place to not have to return to reality.
  • Short: Locate each authority within the VR world to see if they'll take her services.

Character Goals: Mariya Kamizono (Rafflesia) [tentative pick]
  • Long: Unlocking her true power of Resurrection, which she believes can be done by converting all those she deems 'Bad Seeds' to her Earthly purified cult, or killing them if they refuse.
  • Mid: Prove she is the destined Resurrector by bringing back Risa's ghost into Gloriana, regardless of if she's really a ghost.
  • Short: Prepare for Resurrection by trying to convert everyone into Earthly Purified, especially since she sees any non-Hanazakari MGs as 'heathens'.
About Emi's role, since I wasn't quite sure about 'Lady of Shalott', I thought of her instead being an Automaton, Maidservant, or both. Her being overworked, getting cybernetic hands after a serious case of carpal tunnel, alienated from her own manga, and having been a cult member is what got me thinking 'Automaton' could work for her. You had Hephaestus-made robots in Greek myth, Golems, and a character in Faerie Queene, so they wouldn't be too out of place in this setting. Her huma flesh save her hands would come back with her memories.

As for why Yumemi would be given a role like 'Headmistress' despite her goals, likely because Gloriana hopes it'd keep her busy, while Mathurine could see it as an opportunity to make things more 'interesting'
 
Last edited:
For some location names, I was thinking 'Gravengeist' for Gloriana's castle. The idea behind the name is it's supposed to echo Gormenghast, thought on second thought it doesn't sound very Gloriana-y. Had the idea it could be atop a giant tree, if not flying, or underwater a la Ys.

The main city could be named Cleopolis, taken again from The Faerie Queene and meaning 'City of Glory', so it's more than fitting. Don't have a concrete name for the Magic School, though I like calling it a Garden as a FF8 nod.

Mathurine herself is not going to be as bad as the Toymaker. At least, not in the first story.

We also talked about Mathurine (at least her current self) being an AI attached to several fragments of the god behind it all (another of which being Ayaka's newt), and the Toymaker is practically a god.

Oh yeah, do the people of the VR world know what movies are, or will Guard B have to talk about famed playwright Beat Takeshi and his autobiographical theatrical productions?

Tricky question, I guess it depends how much of the outside world Nanase and Gloriana would want to allow in. A brief, Dreamworks-style reference they'd probably allow, but anything more may be a sign of the VR starting to warp.

Also, Skiold would likely not get along with Koyomi, as her whole thing in combat is fighting dirty. Comes with darkness powers natch
 
We also talked about Mathurine (at least her current self) being an AI attached to several fragments of the god behind it all (another of which being Ayaka's newt), and the Toymaker is practically a god.

Tricky question, I guess it depends how much of the outside world Nanase and Gloriana would want to allow in. A brief, Dreamworks-style reference they'd probably allow, but anything more may be a sign of the VR starting to warp.

Also, Skiold would likely not get along with Koyomi, as her whole thing in combat is fighting dirty. Comes with darkness powers natch
My original idea for Mathurine was for her to be some kind of God it was currently in a deal with the so extremely overworked and sleep deprived) of the VR game ( don't worry I always thought of her as an information security nightmare)

Mathurine personally I imagine acting a bit more like Eris dropping metaphorical golden apples filled with dangerous things

I kind of imagine the world of the VR game being some kind of fusion of Skyrim and Fallout so we would probably go with it slightly Victorian touch

It's possible I missed it, but I don't remember anything in this thread about Huli personally creating monsters, just creating the initial VR game and using the Somnia Virtua lyre and Nanase to supercharge it.
I kind of just imagine her just trying her best to destroy the company and to get all the mascots back together with the company not really making monsters for the most part except for when they sell them and other War items for profits

Related note how big do you all see Huli as?

personally I see it basically having complete economic control at minimum of the entire planet


Inessa (and Invidia) -magical girl and enemies to lovers kink (positive)

Fillia -magical girl and enemies to lovers kink (derogatory)
 
I kind of imagine the world of the VR game being some kind of fusion of Skyrim and Fallout

Do you mean it terms of how it looks or how it plays? Because most of our visual cues have been taken from Revolutionary Girl Utena, Princess Tutu, fairytales, and Arthurian myth, with some glitches and AI uncanniness. None of which are really that close to Skyrim (beyond being medieval) or Fallout, nor really have anything to do with MGs in general (beyond maybe mods). I do recall you saying earlier that the Fallout influence would just be for the decayed world though.

Related note how big do you all see Huli as?

I've mostly seen Huli as unwitting instigators more than anything else. I'd still have them be big, but more nationwide with some international reach
 
On the subject of Amanda and motherliness, (from a few pages back now, but I am still catching up) I do imagine that Kikuko will be wanting hugs from her as well, at some point. While the next Phantom Ascension update is still in editing, it very much concerns her relationship with her own mother (very close and very good) until her death. And she will most certainly need hugs after this. While in reality it is Kikuko that is dead while Ruruka is still alive, perhaps in the Val Sans Retour fairytale, Kikuko the Royal Dressmaker was taken in by the castle after being orphaned, creating a similar sort of disconnect. So she would very much want to take comfort in some sort of mother figure, and as Amanda would be right there with Nanase and Gloriana, she may project some of that onto her.
 
Last edited:
Good timing, as I've fully caught up with Phantom Ascension. Third chapter's still going strong so far, and while the personal stuff's a little more interesting than the battle stuff, that's standard for MG works so it's no big deal (people have said the same about Fool Bloom). Helps that a lot of the MGs' missions have been more based on stealth and sleuthing than action, which lends itself well to a ghost lead.

About Ayaka's role, I can now see 'Usurper' may be too strong (even if it's Nanase's paranoia talking), given that's more what Yumemi's planning. So instead, I'd propose her getting labelled a 'Pretender' given she looks like Nanase (even if it's the other way around). Not that Ayaka may want this throne, but that's what Nanase could fear.

Anyway, had an idea for how the first non-prologue scene should go. Have everyone in VR be gathered for a knightly tournament as was proposed, only for it to be won Lancelot-style by a new challenger suddenly gatecrashing the event. I thought to start with a Lancelot allusion since he's the one in myth who got through the original Val sans Retour.

As for who this Lancelot-style challenger is, I thought it could be Ayaka since I still want to introduce her early on. The idea then would be that everyone thinks Lady-in-Waiting Nanase has herself stepped into the ring, only to start to notice something's wrong when Nanase shows up separately. Maybe an order is then issued to track down this Nanase pretender, getting the plot in motion.

The good thing about a knight's tournament opening is that it can quickly gather all the characters like you see in tavern openings, as well as establish characters' powers right away for those more into that
 
Phantom Ascension Goals
Writer Goals: SpoopyGhost
  • Compare and contrast different Magical Girl stories' approaches and mechanics with Pallavi (and Mission Control Nel) participating in mutual Culture Shock and comparing of notes with the rest of the break-in group.
  • Explore Ayaka, Nanase, and Risa/Gloriana's dynamic, Ayaka's arc from entitlement to care, and Nanase's damaged sense of personhood. Possibly get to write the moment/conversation of catharsis where they finally figure themselves out.
  • Utilize amnesia plot to give Kikuko reprieve from all of her current stresses, and thereby explore better what she was like when alive and showcase/explore her artistic side more - And in addition, during the stretch between chaos erupting and memory restoration, see how she would fare in a crisis without the responsibilities of her role pushing her into it. Also give an opportunity for her to make friends despite her shyness, again in a context where she could do so of her own volition. (And most importantly, let her pet a kitty. A mutant alien kitty, but a kitty nonetheless.)
    • Similarly explore Hotaru's more positive traits freed from the need to hide them by her usual circumstances; (as well as where the line lies between her natural anger and paranoia from what she's been through, and the Intermittent Eruptive Disorder that she suffers from as a more lingering result) and Midori's deeper issues without Kikuko to latch onto. Let Hotaru and Miyako be fangirls together.
  • (Possibly) Get the chance to write Reiko before she has appeared in Phantom Ascension and get a better feel for her in practice, contrast her nilhism against Pallavi's optimism, and give her more opportunity to interact with other characters without her being so closely tied to the plot by Kikuko specifically.

Character Goals: Kikuko Yukimura
  • Long-Term: Thinking about the future beyond the next day or even the next hour consistently deals her intense emotional distress, (it did so even before her death, but it has become much, much worse afterward) so she would not even recognize that she has any long-term goals at the moment. However, at present the closest thing she has to that would be to assist Nel-san and the team in solving the brewing crisis(es) in her city, and get rid of the Corrupted Spirits that Death sends her to face, until her services are no longer needed. Whatever may come after that, she refuses to consider.
  • Mid-Term (In Crossover): Help Nanase-san and Gloriana-san through the chaos, even if they are currently at odds, and resolve whatever is going on with this illusion world. Pet the alien kitty.
  • Short-Term (In Crossover): Design lovely dresses for the princess and her lady-in-waiting for the castle's next event. 🙂 (And perhaps figure out this strange intangibility magic she has for some reason discovered she has.) Get a hug from a mother figure. (She does not know why she wants this so much, but she really, really does.) Pet the castle kitties. Don't let anything change.
Character Goals: Midori Kazane
  • Long-Term: Graduate and figure out what she wants to do with her life. Keep this stupid Magical Girl team together long enough to get the job done. Befriend Kikuko-san, don't make it weird, and once the time is right, confess to her - properly, this time - and surely she won't get turned down. (And keep that prissy Varma-san's hands off until then!) Figure out how to explain to her parents that she'll have a ghost for a girlfriend. Figure out her messy feelings on her apparently adoptive parents. Find out who her birth parents are or were, and why they abandoned her.
  • Mid-Term (In Crossover): Kidnap Enchant lovely lost humans into her fairy domain, no matter what more important things they think they need to do, and smother them in love and protect them from the outside world and bring them whatever they desire so they won't leave her behind.
  • Short-Term (In Crossover): Same as mid-term.
Character Goals: Pallavi Varma
  • Long-Term: Be the best Magical Girl she can be, and keep everyone safe from the problems Nelchael has brought up, and whatever else may come after! Befriend all of the other girls, no matter how grumpy they may act, and help them get along with each other better. (Especially Kazane-san and Yukimura-san, both of whom she really really really wants to get to know better, even outside of the team.) Put her all into graduation! Find a good boyfriend or girlfriend (Whoever catches her eye that way, really, it's not her fault everyone is so pretty!) and have a lovely, sweet romance and marriage, and live happily ever after.
  • Mid-Term (In Crossover): Help her new temporary team stop this VR world, and keep everyone safe in the meantime. Hopefully find Kazane-san and Yukimura-san in the process, and bring them back home.
  • Short-Term (In Crossover): Get to know this new team of strange Magical Girls from other worlds, and keep Kikuchi-san from getting everyone down.
Character Goals: Hotaru Akashi
  • Long-Term: Don't blow up so badly as to get kicked out of school, and graduate with at least passing grades; then find a couple more decently-paying part time jobs to help keep her and her mom from going homeless altogether. Maybe if she's lucky, save up enough to move to a less shitty apartment. Help Mom keep Aunty out of prison once her current sentence ends, and help Aunty keep Mom from getting so stressed that she starts hitting. Get strong enough to beat the neighborhood gang badly enough for them to finally leave her alone, and avoid getting... knocked up in the meantime. Maybe, just maybe pull together enough funds to make a decent Voyager Kairi costume and go to a convention or something? Like hell that will ever happen, but she can pretend...
  • Mid-Term (In Crossover): Figure out what the hell is going on, where she is, and who all these people are. Don't blow up on the wrong people.
  • Short-Term (In Crossover): Fly about the kingdom to find and help those in need, standing up for justice and spreading magic and cheer wherever she goes! 💗
Character Goals: Reiko Kikuchi
  • Long-Term: Sort out all of the nonsense from fake spiritualists and understand her own powers better. Study the Actual Ghost she has finally managed to find! Keep trying to turn a living profit from scamming gullible idiots who don't know the difference between fortune-telling and actual divination, and keep her transition going. Help that group of magic idiots save the day, if only so the place she lives doesn't get blown up or something due to their incompetence.
  • Mid-Term (In Crossover): Learn what she can about magic from this weird world, then grab her ghost and get out.
  • Short-Term (In Crossover): Help buoy down the bubbly one so her airheaded cheer doesn't make this whole new group too overconfident, and find her missing ghost study subject/partner.
 
Last edited:
If I may make a belated soundtrack suggestion, there is this:


While I had intended this for a particular moment in the backstory of one of Phantom Ascension's villains, it also feels very appropriate for Nanase initially fleeing into Val Sans Retour after her falling-out with Risa, the lyrics in particular tying into the fairytale illusion she would be trying to blot out her struggles with; if you imagine Gloriana as the singer lovingly heaping all of this upon her. (While the more menacing, distorted section at the very end hints at the underlying falsehood and hollowness of it all, and Mathurine's more wicked intentions for it.)
 
Last edited:
Something I just noticed is that Ayaka's Victorian costume creates a parallel to A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court, about someone from the 19th century going back and exposing the medieval Arthurian world. Though here it's with VR rather than time travel, and Ayaka's bringing others along.

Also, the time traveller's named Hank Morgan, while Nanase, Ayaka's doppel, is the one behind the VR world as Morgan le Fay was with the mythic Val sans Retour. It's a name similarity I wish ACYIKAC had taken more advantage of.

Also, I'm considering just having Hibiki's role just be Prince instead of Dark Prince specifically, as we don't really have another Prince character right now (since I'm not sure if I can squeeze Kazuya in). And as Utena shows, being a regular prince doesn't preclude you from villainy
 
I wonder what's going to happen regarding the way Zaiyu and Sasori are going to look ?
Both of them are visibly non-human, especially Sasori, and while the fact the VR world is based around a fairy tale means that stuff like that is going to get taken in stride, Rose and Kyoko don't know that Zaiyu is an alien (having only met him under two different human identities) and don't even know Sasori exists.
 
I wonder what's going to happen regarding the way Zaiyu and Sasori are going to look ?
Both of them are visibly non-human, especially Sasori, and while the fact the VR world is based around a fairy tale means that stuff like that is going to get taken in stride, Rose and Kyoko don't know that Zaiyu is an alien (having only met him under two different human identities) and don't even know Sasori exists.

I was assuming both of them would end up in their true forms with different costumes, and Zaiyu would aggressively hand-wave away him being an elf and Sasori being All That with either dream fantasy logic (It doesn't matter! Don't worry about it!) or VR logic (Our avatars were modded! Don't worry about it!). Which would give me the chance to write people actually reacting to their true forms in a way Something Wicked currently has not allowed.
 
On the subject of Amanda and motherliness, (from a few pages back now, but I am still catching up) I do imagine that Kikuko will be wanting hugs from her as well, at some point. While the next Phantom Ascension update is still in editing, it very much concerns her relationship with her own mother (very close and very good) until her death. And she will most certainly need hugs after this. While in reality it is Kikuko that is dead while Ruruka is still alive, perhaps in the Val Sans Retour fairytale, Kikuko the Royal Dressmaker was taken in by the castle after being orphaned, creating a similar sort of disconnect. So she would very much want to take comfort in some sort of mother figure, and as Amanda would be right there with Nanase and Gloriana, she may project some of that onto her.
Sorry, today has been nuts.

I can see this. Amanda would absolutely take such an orphaned waif under her wing, and would probably be the best source of that within the entire sim.

Therapy Mom! Therapy Mom!
I was assuming both of them would end up in their true forms with different costumes, and Zaiyu would aggressively hand-wave away him being an elf and Sasori being All That with either dream fantasy logic (It doesn't matter! Don't worry about it!) or VR logic (Our avatars were modded! Don't worry about it!). Which would give me the chance to write people actually reacting to their true forms in a way Something Wicked currently has not allowed.
How...non-human are we talking here? It's unlikely to matter generally, but it could prove important on specifics.
 
Last edited:
How...non-human are we talking here? It's unlikely to matter generally, but it could prove important on specifics.

I was not exaggerating in the slightest when I described them both as cute monster boys. Zaiyu can at least superficially pass for a really dedicated cosplayer, but Sasori definitely can't be mistaken for human. He has a trait preventing it.

Zaiyu's current description:
A slender teenager with bronze skin, an angled dark green bob cut, and a feline grin. Like most members of his species, Zaiyu sports retractable claws on his hands and feet, possesses a set of small fangs, and has the ability to fly. Unlike most members of his species, Zaiyu also has the distinctive shorn haircut and multicolored tattoos of a thaumaforge. Anyone remotely familiar with the Estil will know exactly what he is on sight. His fashion sense is distinctly otherworldly, ending up somewhere between Xianxia chic and CLAMP character. He never goes anywhere without his dendrite extensions--the assortment of floating magical scarves that he controls like additional limbs--or a massive collection of little dangly charms that manage minor, moderate, and sometimes major spells for him. His eyes glow a solid pale green. After an incident with a sample of the very magical and very dangerous plant Crystalvine, most of his right arm is composed completely of immobile white crystal. A pulse of white light is visible under the clear stone surface.

Sasori's current description:
A tall and clearly inhuman teenager with an armored carapace, a scorpion-like barbed tail, fluffy hair and fur clinging to his shoulders, and an uncanny resemblance to an Estil. Sasori has ocean blue skin, sky blue hair and chitin, orient red eyes and markings showing through his armor, and a crown of white horns. Currently, he also has the claws of a liger, shark teeth, shifting stripy markings, a large black rhino horn on his forehead, an array of venomous scorpionfish spines, and an overall internal physiology well-suited to aquatic life based on a blue whale. His eyesight is quite poor and his eyes have black sclera.

Other traits to consider when trying to describe Sasori:
  • Scorpion Tail: You have a stinger tail. Your tail is moderately prehensile and highly venomous. Anything you sting is likely to feel incredibly nauseous and lose consciousness. You are venomous.
  • Scorpion Armor: Like a scorpion, you are covered in thick armor plating. This gives you an excellent defence against most attacks. It's also incredibly intimidating. Bonus to defence.
  • Liger Claws: Your hands and forearms have the appearance of large, clawed feline paws. This has impacted your manual dexterity significantly, but your power can't be understated. Bonus to attack.
  • Shark Teeth: You have row upon row of triangular teeth in your jaws. They fall out easily and are constantly being replaced. A bite from you would cause some serious pain. Bonus to attack.
  • Discus Camouflage: You possess shifting stripy markings that would break up your outline and make you hard to spot… in a coral reef. Bonus to camouflage in coral reefs, malus everywhere else.
  • Arctic Wolf Hide: Tufts of white and sky blue fur on your shoulders form a natural cloak of sorts. You are resistant to the cold. Bonus to wilderness survival, cold resistance, fashion.
  • Rhino Horn: On top of your collection of small white horns, you also have a very large black one jutting out from your forehead. You could do some real damage with this. Bonus to attack, special attack available.
  • Drawback: Rhino Eyesight. You can't see very well and have to navigate with other senses. Perception malus.
  • Scorpionfish Spines: You are dotted with highly venomous spines. These possess an entirely different kind of venom that causes delirium, paralysis, tremors, and difficulty breathing. You are venomous… again.
  • Aquatic Physiology (Blue Whale): You are surprisingly well-adapted to the water and can hold your breath for up to 90 minutes while diving comfortably up to 1000 feet. You also possess immense physical strength and speed. Bonus to defence, attack, and further aquatic adaptations.
Uncanny Valley Boy: You are not a human, and you cannot really conceal this fact. Even in disguise, people find you… concerning, to say the least, and that's just the way you like it. Right? Bonus to intimidation, malus to disguise, huge malus to appearing harmless.

TLDR, Zaiyu is an Estil, an elven species of humanoid aliens. He's technically digitigrade, walking on his toes rather than his full foot, and his movements are all subtly off from what a human might expect--especially when he's on the ground, as Estil are a flying species and being ground-bound is weird and annoying to him. He has pointed ears, eyes that glow a single solid green colour, retractible claws on his hands and feet, and is covered in a rainbow of shifting tattoos that mark his mastery of every field of magic (except necromancy, which he was never taught). His hair is also cut quite short, which only matters to people who have realized that his hair is essentially mobile sensory tendrils, so wearing it in a bob cut is an act of self-mutilation. He also has cute little fangs and his right arm is currently made of immobile white crystal from about halfway down the bicep. The current of mana within his body is faintly visible within the crystal. So, yeah, Zaiyu is clearly not human, but in such a way that a dedicated cosplayer could theoretically steal his look (except for the moving hair, which might be a little harder to copy).

Sasori, meanwhile, is a whole other ball game. Not only is Sasori much more obviously digitigrade than Zaiyu, he's much bigger in general, standing about 6'6'' on the rare occasions that he actually holds himself up straight. His anatomy is a mash of various creatures he copied traits from mixed with an overall humanoid body plan--or, more accurately, an overall Estil body plan--and the result is very uncanny. He has horns, shark teeth, an intimidating armoured carapace, disproportionately large big cat claws, a massive scorpion tail, a natural 'cloak' of fur around his shoulders, an array of venomous spines, and shifting stripy markings that break up his outline a little. He tends to move in a predatory hunch, drops to all fours when agitated or trying to get comfortable, and his colouring is all wrong for either human or Estil. By which I mean, he has blue skin, lighter blue hair and armour, and glowing red eyes with black sclera. Anyone looking at Sasori is likely to be struck with a sudden and visceral sense of wrongness, especially if they know how a human or an Estil is supposed to look and can tell how off his proportions and body language are.

Both of them also have pretty feline body language and habits, hence me calling them catboys even though they have a lot of other stuff going on.
 
TLDR, Zaiyu is an Estil, an elven species of humanoid aliens. He's technically digitigrade, walking on his toes rather than his full foot, and his movements are all subtly off from what a human might expect--especially when he's on the ground, as Estil are a flying species and being ground-bound is weird and annoying to him. He has pointed ears, eyes that glow a single solid green colour, retractible claws on his hands and feet, and is covered in a rainbow of shifting tattoos that mark his mastery of every field of magic (except necromancy, which he was never taught). His hair is also cut quite short, which only matters to people who have realized that his hair is essentially mobile sensory tendrils, so wearing it in a bob cut is an act of self-mutilation. He also has cute little fangs and his right arm is currently made of immobile white crystal from about halfway down the bicep. The current of mana within his body is faintly visible within the crystal. So, yeah, Zaiyu is clearly not human, but in such a way that a dedicated cosplayer could theoretically steal his look (except for the moving hair, which might be a little harder to copy).

Sasori, meanwhile, is a whole other ball game. Not only is Sasori much more obviously digitigrade than Zaiyu, he's much bigger in general, standing about 6'6'' on the rare occasions that he actually holds himself up straight. His anatomy is a mash of various creatures he copied traits from mixed with an overall humanoid body plan--or, more accurately, an overall Estil body plan--and the result is very uncanny. He has horns, shark teeth, an intimidating armoured carapace, disproportionately large big cat claws, a massive scorpion tail, a natural 'cloak' of fur around his shoulders, an array of venomous spines, and shifting stripy markings that break up his outline a little. He tends to move in a predatory hunch, drops to all fours when agitated or trying to get comfortable, and his colouring is all wrong for either human or Estil. By which I mean, he has blue skin, lighter blue hair and armour, and glowing red eyes with black sclera. Anyone looking at Sasori is likely to be struck with a sudden and visceral sense of wrongness, especially if they know how a human or an Estil is supposed to look and can tell how off his proportions and body language are.

Both of them also have pretty feline body language and habits, hence me calling them catboys even though they have a lot of other stuff going on.
Hmm.

Sasori would be outside the norm for PW humanity even with how busy humanity got with what was essentially freeform biosculpt before the Shiplords told them it was banned on pain of extinction. Relatively few cosmetic mods were allowed to breed true, so they're a distinct minority among the human population, but they're very much there.

With that in mind, Zaiyu? Amanda's probably seen stranger humans barring the white crystal arm. Sasori's definitely outside of that, but Mandy was also part of the initial diplomatic team when potentially allied aliens finally made it to Sol. So, to say this another way, hugs and pats remain entirely on the menu :V

It probably helps that she'd consider them entirely unthreatening in casual interactions.
 
Last edited:
Oh, Miyako could be adopted by Amanda in the simulation. Or at least have her as a mother figure while staying with Koyomi. Though if Koyomi lives in the castle, then everyone is under the same roof anyway.
 
...there's going to have be a schedule for all the therapy and hugs so that Amanda can hit things in the face now and then, isn't there. And the worst part is I know she'll make one :cry:
Therapy Mom! Therapy Mom!
 
Many thanks to all of you who have completed the character goals questions, I've added that information to our shared space on Google Drive.

----

I'm still in the process of writing a draft outline for the main plot of the story, but I've got a few notes and more discussion points planned out so far:
  • I am using the 7 point story structure as a starting point to figure out the main turning points of the story, the events that move the story from one arc to the next. See this article for a brief description of it.
  • Given that we have two teams, Break-in and Break-out, we should have two plotlines running in parallel to each other, crossing over at a couple of points, which I'd figure would be the Midpoint and the Climax. Those two points will be where all characters from team Break-in and Break-out meet and interact with each other. For the majority of the first half, I think most of the interactions will be within the two teams, while the Second half could have mixes of both teams working in parallel.
  • My suggestion for the Midpoint of the main story would be to have Ayaka find Nanase, and start to enact the ritual to reabsorb her magic, thereby revealing to all characters that Nanase is one of her constructs. The ritual will of course be interrupted (most likely violently, given the protectors on Nanase's side) before Nanase gets reabsorbed.
  • With regards to the two plotlines, I would think that Ayaka's quest to find Nanase is going to be the main focus point around which the Break In team will be working together. However, I don't think we have a similar focus point to guide and unite the characters from the Break-Out team yet. So on that note, what do you think should be driving the Break-out team quest? Is Nanase going to be doing anything herself to advance the plot, or given her situation, is she mostly going to be in reactive mode?
  • I believe it was suggested earlier that we could have Risa's "ghost" show up in the virtual world as her body succumbs to corruption in the real world. There is a connection to ghosts via Kikuko, but I wonder if there is enough of a plot there to focus and drive together the Break Out team. What do you guys on the Break Out team think?
Good timing, as I've fully caught up with Phantom Ascension. Third chapter's still going strong so far, and while the personal stuff's a little more interesting than the battle stuff, that's standard for MG works so it's no big deal (people have said the same about Fool Bloom). Helps that a lot of the MGs' missions have been more based on stealth and sleuthing than action, which lends itself well to a ghost lead.

About Ayaka's role, I can now see 'Usurper' may be too strong (even if it's Nanase's paranoia talking), given that's more what Yumemi's planning. So instead, I'd propose her getting labelled a 'Pretender' given she looks like Nanase (even if it's the other way around). Not that Ayaka may want this throne, but that's what Nanase could fear.

Anyway, had an idea for how the first non-prologue scene should go. Have everyone in VR be gathered for a knightly tournament as was proposed, only for it to be won Lancelot-style by a new challenger suddenly gatecrashing the event. I thought to start with a Lancelot allusion since he's the one in myth who got through the original Val sans Retour.

As for who this Lancelot-style challenger is, I thought it could be Ayaka since I still want to introduce her early on. The idea then would be that everyone thinks Lady-in-Waiting Nanase has herself stepped into the ring, only to start to notice something's wrong when Nanase shows up separately. Maybe an order is then issued to track down this Nanase pretender, getting the plot in motion.

The good thing about a knight's tournament opening is that it can quickly gather all the characters like you see in tavern openings, as well as establish characters' powers right away for those more into that

That sounds like a good idea for the introduction to the story! I'll add that to the notes.
 
I figure Zaiyu and Sasori could get by through calling themselves an Elf and Beastman respectively. Which reminds me that we haven't talked about non-human races much within the VR, other than Midori and Kikuko.

Though if Koyomi lives in the castle, then everyone is under the same roof anyway.

Even going with Court Mage for her role, I more pictured Koyomi setting up base in the forest like in FB and getting called into the castle, calls she'd probably turn down unless she had some intel on Gloriana to gain from them.
She'd also keep a close eye on Amanda if she starts approaching Miyako, though might try to set Amanda up against Yumemi more (or Mariya if I include her) given Yumemi's the devil she knows. (Edit: Assuming Mariya doesn't try to set Amanda on Koyomi first, not sure if Yumemi would as she'd want to handle Koyomi herself.)

Speaking of Yumemi, I was wondering what dreams most characters usually have, since Yumemi's whole arsenal is based on them?

However, I don't think we have a similar focus point to guide and unite the characters from the Break-Out team yet. So on that note, what do you think should be driving the Break-out team quest? Is Nanase going to be doing anything herself to advance the plot, or given her situation, is she mostly going to be in reactive mode?

I touched on it in my proposed intro, but if Ayaka suddenly crashes the initial tournament, Nanase would likely send a warrant out for her, with Breakout then chasing after her. This all being pre-mindwipe crumbling of course, after which Breakout's goals would depend on the character. Either they'd join with Break-in, or go into denial and try defending the VR world.

I can see Nanase requesting Gloriana to bring in more people and make more roles as she gets more worried about Ayaka, which is where Gloriana could start trying to assign roles to the Break-in team to control them. I was also thinking the first chapter with the tournament could be from Nanase's PoV, but in Unreliable Narrator mode where she keeps quiet on knowing about the real world and her real VR role
 
Last edited:
...there's going to have be a schedule for all the therapy and hugs so that Amanda can hit things in the face now and then, isn't there. And the worst part is I know she'll make one :cry:
Therapy Mom! Therapy Mom!
Fillia somewhere far away, a mansion or estate owned by her rich family in the vr world:

"Why am I shivering?"

//Shall be back in a bit. Apologies for vanishing. Life decided to get in the way. Yaaaaaaaay
 
Last edited:
She'd also keep a close eye on Amanda if she starts approaching Miyako, though might try to set Amanda up against Yumemi more (or Mariya if I include her) given Yumemi's the devil she knows. (Edit: Assuming Mariya doesn't try to set Amanda on Koyomi first, not sure if Yumemi would as she'd want to handle Koyomi herself.)
I'm guessing Amanda will be considered such a danger here due to how much power she wields and how totally committed to protecting Gloriana and Nanase she is? Which is, y'know, fair. I would find it funny though if she struggles to work out if Mandy is just an incredibly well designed NPC/secondary AI in the game or an actual person. My current thoughts on that subject currently point to Zaiyu being the most likely person to work out that Amanda's actually a real person, but that's very much sketching here.

Also, I probably should do these writer goals, shouldn't I. Gimme a bit.
 
Back
Top