Successor (BTVS)
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S3.5E10: Teen Vampire: Harmony! V
DeAnno
Sometimes words have two meanings
[X][BUFFY] Buffy doesn't know anyone who wouldn't freak out about this except Anya. She went to find her, she knows about demons and sex and she isn't judgemental.
[X][HARMONY] Tidy things up. Maybe Buffy would appreciate it if she just helped clean up and arrange everything neatly.
[X][HARMONY] Try to do some baking. Buffy likes cookies right?
Harmony racked her brain for something to do. If Buffy lived here, the place couldn't be too boring, right?
But really, it was pretty spartan compared to the small mansion where Harmony had grown up with her parents. The Summers family weren't like, actually poor, but they definitely didn't live like you would expect politicians to. She should work on that, there would probably be some money for Buffy to corrupt out of the budget sooner or later. She was way too honest about that sort of thing for her own good.
As she looked around, she could see evidence of it. The house wasn't exactly dirty, but there was a lot of clutter around, and it could maybe use a dusting. It was in the sort of state where her mom would've been irritated at the maid, for sure. Then Harmony had a thought: she could clean. It couldn't be too hard, and she didn't have anything else to do. Plus, she could maybe get Buffy used to living more like she should be.
She started by picking a few things up, but she obviously couldn't dust with her hands. But she remembered vacuum cleaners were good for that, and she found one after rifling through some closets. A little while later and the living room was looking nicer, so she poked her head back into the kitchen. The dishes from breakfast earlier were still sitting in the sink, but she knew what to do about that; she stuck them in the dishwasher and turned it on. It was a little tricky fitting them in, but Harmony was way smarter than she'd been as a human, so she managed it. After she started it she noticed it was kind of loud, but it was probably just an old model or something.
She was about to leave to other parts of the house, but before she did, she noticed a cookbook lying all by its lonesome on a shelf, and it gave her a whole new idea! Maybe she could cook something. It always seemed to work on TV, and with her old reliable strategy of just putting out reduced to questionable at best, she'd have to explore new alternatives. Buffy always seemed to be snacking on stuff (in High School all the girls had groused about how unfair it was that she was still rail-thin) so some home made cookies might be just what the slayer ordered.
Harmony had never cooked anything before, but she had the book, so she figured it couldn't be too hard. It was like taking a test when you'd cheated to get all the answers already, and that had worked for her tons of times. Some of the ingredients she needed weren't in the house, and she might've gotten some of the amounts of others a bit wrong, but she figured she'd done well enough for a solid B anyway. Plus, chocolate chips! She could even still taste those herself, sort of.
After putting the cookies in to bake (and restraining herself from snacking) Harmony went on the move again. She put away clutter and vacuumed all around the house, and before too long most of the not-sunny areas were looking better. Eventually she got to Buffy's room though, and she realized she probably should've started there first.
She hadn't really paid much attention when she'd been here last, as she'd been very distracted for obvious reasons, but Buffy's room was a little rough. Not only was the bed a mess from her sleeping in it, but clothes, weapons, and random paperwork were all scattered around the room too. It was sort of like a mixed-up hurricane of Buffy's three roles as teenage mayor, teenage slayer, and teenage girl. The speculative image of three different Buffys (all in attire appropriate for their role) distracted her for a minute, but then she got back to work.
Harmony sorted the weapons and papers into two piles, and threw all the clothes into the hamper. On reflection, she decided that sleeping in Buffy's bed with day-old clothes that had been through sewers, a bar, and a museum basement was a little much too, and stripped that for the laundry as well. With vampire strength and agility, carrying the full laundry hamper down to the basement was easy as pie, and she managed to stuff the whole collection in for one load. Score! She almost forgot to put in the soap, but luckily she remembered right before she turned on the machine and poured in a good scooch.
That done, she went back upstairs to finish Buffy's room off with a good vacuuming. This proved a little harder than she hoped, though. For the last few rooms, the vacuum had been getting weaker and weaker, and now faced with the massive dust legions in the corners of Buffy's room it wasn't faring very well at all. Maybe it was tired, or something. She tried pressing it down harder to make it get the dust better, and that did work for a little while. When she tried the trick on a nasty spot under the bed though, it wasn't really working; there was just too much dust. She tried pushing a little harder, but the vacuum abruptly snapped in half, and tons of dust exploded out everywhere!
The smell of all the dust up close was actually pretty overpowering, more so than anything she'd smelled as a human, and Harmony sneezed a few times, then backed up, waving the dust away to try to get clear. Well, this was bad. They'd probably needed a new vacuum anyway, but for it to break open and dustify Buffy's room was pretty unfortunate. She hoped that she wouldn't be too mad, but she couldn't be expected to control when vacuums broke, could she? She could still clean a lot of this up anyway, she'd just get a trash bag and some paper towels from the kitchen.
As she descended the stairs again she almost thought the dust was following her, but then she realized it was a slightly different kind of smell. Sharper. Like, instead of dust, smoke. Oh. Uh-oh.
Harmony ran into the kitchen to find the cookies were practically on fire. In a panic, she grabbed them out of the oven barehanded, but it turned that out vampires could still burn themselves on hot metal, so she ended up dropping the pan and the burnt cookies on the floor. She ran to the sink to try to cool her hands down (terrified of spontaneously igniting) and when she saw the cookies were still smouldering she frantically splashed some water onto them to prevent a fire.
OK. Well. This wasn't good. It was bad. But she could cope. Once her hands stopped being quite so painful, she crossed the room to get some of the paper towels for cleaning up the latest mess. In the end, all the cookies were sadly trashed, and the floor was a little singed, but the pan was fine at least. She put it in the sink, which made her remember the dishwasher. It wasn't making any more noise, so it was probably done. She could unpack it and put the dishes away at least.
Opening it was a whole new terrible surprise. There were little pieces of glass everywhere! Some of the stuff she'd put in must've broken. So unfair! First the vacuum gives out, then the oven goes crazy, and now the dishwasher was sabotaging her. The Summers house definitely needed some upgrading, but she hoped she wouldn't get blamed for all this shoddy engineering. But it was still fine. Harmony unpacked what was left, and since she was a vampire and little nothing cuts didn't matter, she cleaned up all the broken glass too. It didn't really hurt, but her hands were a little bloody now. She sighed, licking them clean and then washing off the residue. Waste not, want not.
She was about to return to Buffy's room to clean up the dust mess, but now she was smelling something else. It was another sharp smell, but different from the smoke. Like… soapy maybe? Why would she be smelling soap? Oh. No. She refused to believe it. The laundry machine couldn't have broken too!
Her worst fears were confirmed when she arrived back in the basement. The laundry machine was overflowing with sudsy water and making a sad glonking sound. Harmony went to her knees and frantically tried to push the water back with her bare hands, trying to stop the mess, but it just got slightly bloody. Everything was going wrong! She'd just wanted to help. But she couldn't. She was doomed. She put her head on the side of the wet washing machine and just started bawling.
"Harmony?" Buffy was here. She'd be overjoyed if everything wasn't in ruins. She sounded confused, but she'd probably be angry soon enough. "Did you overflow the washing machine? Why are you even using the washing machine?"
"I …" Harmony tried to sniffle and wipe her tears, and then discovered she was in vamp face. So gross. "I just wanted to do something nice."
"I'm sure you tried your best." She heard Buffy walking around to the side of her, and saw her daintily unplugging something out of the corner of her eye. The glonking came to an end, and the flooding stopped.
"I'm really bad at this." Harmony said, turning to Buffy. "Everything broke." She was radiant, as always, lighting up the dreary basement with her conciliatory smile.
Buffy noticed something about Harmony though, and her expression changed to shock. "Harmony, why is there…" She trailed off and opened the washing machine, searching the flooded contents. She didn't seem to find what she was looking for though, and her tone shifted back to neutral confusion. "Why is my blanket in here? I'm pretty sure it isn't machine washable."
"There are things you can't wash in washing machines? Why even have these washing machines then? Couldn't they just make a better one?" This cleaning stuff was way more complicated than Harmony had thought.
Buffy turned back to her, and still looked concerned. "But, OK, that's beside the point. What is not beside the point is why is there blood on your lips?"
Harmony touched her face, staring stupidly at the blood for a second before looking at her hands. "Oh! I didn't eat anyone I promise! I cut my hands up in the dishwasher, look!" She displayed them worriedly while forcing herself out of game face.
Buffy did the cute thing where she narrowed her eyes and shook her head slightly, though Harmony was too worried to really appreciate it. "How did you cut your hands in the dishwasher?"
"Cleaning things is hard!" Harmony whined.
"Yes." Buffy grabbed her by the shoulder and pulled her up off the soapy floor. "But it's not a big deal as long as my mom doesn't come home to this. Step One: mops and towels."
There was some quick action to stem the floodwaters and unclog the machine, and then there was some less quick action of putting some stuff in the dryer and hanging other stuff up, and finally there was an interlude where the dust explosion in Buffy's room was rediscovered and summarily dealt with. Along the way, Buffy made conversation complaining about how Anya had dragooned her into a day of campaigning, conspicuously avoiding stickier (sweatier) topics.
"And so, now the Summers campaign is committed to untangling the mess of one way streets in the north district," Buffy said, sweeping some more dust from under the bed. "Anya thinks that the traffic flow might've originally been directed to support some kind of … magic something? So I'll have to get Willow or someone to look at it first, but Mr. Anders does have a point that needing to make fourteen turns to go five blocks is a bit much."
As fun as listening to her talk was though, Harmony needed answers and couldn't wait any longer. Both of them were lying down on their stomachs to reach at the mess under the bed, and Harmony edged a little closer. "Buffy, about this morning-"
"Yeah," Buffy said guiltily. "Sorry for stalling. This is hard."
"I didn't want it to be," Harmony whispered.
Buffy looked pensive, and she almost started speaking a few times before stopping. Harmony was gearing herself up for the rejection, but then Buffy abruptly closed the rest of the distance and kissed her. A lot.
Harmony wasn't desperately trying to judge Buffy's reactions this time, so she got lost in her own. She felt Buffy's body sliding on top of her and her teeth ghosting over her lips and her hair on her skin and one of her hands pushing down on her shoulder like what solid steel wanted to be when it grew up. It lasted longer than the one this morning had, but it still hadn't been nearly long enough when Buffy pulled up again.
"I'm not sure what this is," Buffy said, finally having found her words. "But it's something I want. Something I like. So maybe we can just try for a little bit?"
"Yes. Absolutely. We can try." She could try whatever she wanted.
"OK. But, there's a thing, and this part is kind of terrible," Buffy gulped. "I don't think we should tell… I mean, people won't understand that-"
"I know," Harmony had expected this, in the way that when you imagine your fantasies to come true things like gravity still work in them. "I was the high school queen bee, I understand gossip. And you're in the middle of an election, it'd be totally radioactive."
"Yeah. I wish I could just ditch all the responsibilities sometimes. Times like this," Buffy said. "But afterwards. September 1st. I promise."
"Being secret will be fun!" Harmony had danced this dance before, and it was kind of exciting. And would probably be less frustrating without all the parental supervision high schoolers dealt with. And really, a relationship with Buffy would probably still be fun if she had to gouge out her own eyeballs, so bonus.
Buffy looked a little abashed (And also still flushed. Score!) "So just to get all our ducks in a row. You saw Cordelia in LA? And Lorne?"
That reminded Harmony of something for some reason. "I swore Cordelia to secrecy and then bribed her with drinks, she won't talk. And I don't think Lorne would."
"Yeah, he seemed like he might be … understanding?" Buffy asked.
"Totally." Harmony agreed. Oh wait, ducks. The Fowler Museum. Spike. OK, she'd have to try to play this cool. "But that reminds me, there's the thing I was trying to tell you about this morning!"
"That wasn't a kissing thing? I thought it was more kissing stuff." Buffy said.
"No, it was Spike stuff! I saw Spike in LA, he was poking around a museum basement," Harmony hoped that Buffy wouldn't actually connect Spike to kissing stuff on her own.
"Spike? Again? Ugh, the opposite of kissing stuff," Buffy grumbled. "How did you run into him? How are you in one piece?"
"Lorne gave me a clue and I followed it up. And we kind of had a confrontation, but he was pretty focused on what he was doing and he just let me go," Harmony said. "I thought about maybe trying to fight him, but-"
"You did the right thing." Buffy gave her a little hug, and Harmony's nervous system shorted out for a few seconds. "You're coming along super great but he would've wiped the floor with you. Or maybe made someone else wipe you up off the floor. And I need you in one piece and non-dusty. Did you find out anything about what he was doing?"
Harmony reigned herself back in and made herself focus. Buffy liked it when she was helpful. "Not really, but it was the Fowler Museum, so maybe some people would have a clue from that?"
"Yeah, I'll put Giles and Mom on it, they might figure something out," Buffy said. "I kind of want to drive down to LA now and just deal with him the old fashioned way. But he's probably gonzo already, he wouldn't want me crashing on him before he gets to do whatever his dumb plan is."
Harmony nodded. Seeing Spike right now might present some unpleasant questions anyway. But there was still the spell to talk about. Harmony thought about just leaving it be, but if Buffy found out that she knew some other way she might think she was cheating. Like, with blood, obviously (who would ever cheat on Buffy for the other thing? They'd need to be brain damaged.)
"And there's one more thing I kind of thought I should ask," Harmony started uncertainly.
"Lorne had a lot of advice for you, didn't he?" Buffy said.
"Yeah." Well, that was as good an explanation as any. "Was the blood burning spell Willow cast on me, you know, real?"
Buffy was troubled, and scooted back a few inches. "Harmony. That was definitely your own blood before, right?"
"Yes! Absolutely! I would never lie to you, or betray you! And I wouldn't eat anybody either, because you'd be really angry." Something in Buffy's expression told Harmony that hadn't come out right. "And, umm, it would be totally evil. So of course I wouldn't, because I'm one of the good guys."
She wasn't fully reassured, and looked a little desperate. "I'm sorry we had to lie. But I just- I mean, there was the whole thing with Angelus. You aren't going to go crazy and go on a murder spree are you? If you-"
"No! I'm not, I promise, I'm not like him. I don't need some lousy soul. I have you, you aren't going to just go away!" Harmony said.
"But I might!" Buffy said, sitting up. "Harmony, this summer has been pretty nuts, but still, not nearly as dangerous as things can get. I could die. If I do, are you just going to go ballistic evil vampire on everyone?"
Harmony almost just denied it again, but would she? Would she really stay good if Buffy died? She didn't want to lie. "I would never turn on any of your friends. I like a lot of them too now, more than before I died. You don't need a soul to be friends with someone. And I would try to get revenge on the thing that killed you, and probably die trying. And if I didn't die then, well, I'm a special vampire now. Way more special than Angel. I don't think I'd just want to be some lame fledgling, even if you were gone." She wasn't totally sure of her answer, but she kind of hoped that last part was really true. She wasn't completely sure why.
Buffy was quiet for a long moment. "I probably shouldn't be as OK with that answer as I am."
"It doesn't really matter. If something could kill you, I'd never survive the revenge step anyway," Harmony said.
"Hey, I expect some honest effort from you in avenging my unfortunate demise!" Buffy joked. "Don't just phone it in."
"Never."
"Well then, I think we're fine. More than fine. Possibly even all set." Buffy leaned forward and kissed her again. This one didn't end too soon.
Next time, on Buffy the Vampire Slayer: The Summer is starting to wrap up, and Buffy is still looking to score points for the upcoming election while helping the town. What major project will be the focus of the next episode? This will be the last selection from these choices before the election.
[] Cordelia scored a starring role in a big horror movie, and they want to do shooting in Sunnydale. It could be great for the city's publicity, and might provide work for peaceful demons in the city. What's the catch? Buffy's still popular in Hollywood, and she might have to do a cameo role.
[] Joyce says that the Sunnydale Natural History Museum has a dig site they've been wanting to excavate for ages, but Mayor Wilkins shut them down at every turn. Giles and Jonathan think that the ruins there might be extremely old, and with proper supervision who knows what knowledge or artifacts could be uncovered.
[] Xander's made a breakthrough in tracking the Yeti, with help from both Oz and one of the Rat Nobles. Buffy might finally be able to get face to face with the Yeti, but it'll mean working with Amy again if she wants to do it.
[] CyberWillow has been analyzing the police database, and she thinks she can see some suggestive patterns in the crime records. Nobody else can make much sense of what she's saying, but Buffy figures better safe than sorry, and Chief Matt agrees.
[X][HARMONY] Tidy things up. Maybe Buffy would appreciate it if she just helped clean up and arrange everything neatly.
[X][HARMONY] Try to do some baking. Buffy likes cookies right?
Harmony racked her brain for something to do. If Buffy lived here, the place couldn't be too boring, right?
But really, it was pretty spartan compared to the small mansion where Harmony had grown up with her parents. The Summers family weren't like, actually poor, but they definitely didn't live like you would expect politicians to. She should work on that, there would probably be some money for Buffy to corrupt out of the budget sooner or later. She was way too honest about that sort of thing for her own good.
As she looked around, she could see evidence of it. The house wasn't exactly dirty, but there was a lot of clutter around, and it could maybe use a dusting. It was in the sort of state where her mom would've been irritated at the maid, for sure. Then Harmony had a thought: she could clean. It couldn't be too hard, and she didn't have anything else to do. Plus, she could maybe get Buffy used to living more like she should be.
She started by picking a few things up, but she obviously couldn't dust with her hands. But she remembered vacuum cleaners were good for that, and she found one after rifling through some closets. A little while later and the living room was looking nicer, so she poked her head back into the kitchen. The dishes from breakfast earlier were still sitting in the sink, but she knew what to do about that; she stuck them in the dishwasher and turned it on. It was a little tricky fitting them in, but Harmony was way smarter than she'd been as a human, so she managed it. After she started it she noticed it was kind of loud, but it was probably just an old model or something.
She was about to leave to other parts of the house, but before she did, she noticed a cookbook lying all by its lonesome on a shelf, and it gave her a whole new idea! Maybe she could cook something. It always seemed to work on TV, and with her old reliable strategy of just putting out reduced to questionable at best, she'd have to explore new alternatives. Buffy always seemed to be snacking on stuff (in High School all the girls had groused about how unfair it was that she was still rail-thin) so some home made cookies might be just what the slayer ordered.
Harmony had never cooked anything before, but she had the book, so she figured it couldn't be too hard. It was like taking a test when you'd cheated to get all the answers already, and that had worked for her tons of times. Some of the ingredients she needed weren't in the house, and she might've gotten some of the amounts of others a bit wrong, but she figured she'd done well enough for a solid B anyway. Plus, chocolate chips! She could even still taste those herself, sort of.
After putting the cookies in to bake (and restraining herself from snacking) Harmony went on the move again. She put away clutter and vacuumed all around the house, and before too long most of the not-sunny areas were looking better. Eventually she got to Buffy's room though, and she realized she probably should've started there first.
She hadn't really paid much attention when she'd been here last, as she'd been very distracted for obvious reasons, but Buffy's room was a little rough. Not only was the bed a mess from her sleeping in it, but clothes, weapons, and random paperwork were all scattered around the room too. It was sort of like a mixed-up hurricane of Buffy's three roles as teenage mayor, teenage slayer, and teenage girl. The speculative image of three different Buffys (all in attire appropriate for their role) distracted her for a minute, but then she got back to work.
Harmony sorted the weapons and papers into two piles, and threw all the clothes into the hamper. On reflection, she decided that sleeping in Buffy's bed with day-old clothes that had been through sewers, a bar, and a museum basement was a little much too, and stripped that for the laundry as well. With vampire strength and agility, carrying the full laundry hamper down to the basement was easy as pie, and she managed to stuff the whole collection in for one load. Score! She almost forgot to put in the soap, but luckily she remembered right before she turned on the machine and poured in a good scooch.
That done, she went back upstairs to finish Buffy's room off with a good vacuuming. This proved a little harder than she hoped, though. For the last few rooms, the vacuum had been getting weaker and weaker, and now faced with the massive dust legions in the corners of Buffy's room it wasn't faring very well at all. Maybe it was tired, or something. She tried pressing it down harder to make it get the dust better, and that did work for a little while. When she tried the trick on a nasty spot under the bed though, it wasn't really working; there was just too much dust. She tried pushing a little harder, but the vacuum abruptly snapped in half, and tons of dust exploded out everywhere!
The smell of all the dust up close was actually pretty overpowering, more so than anything she'd smelled as a human, and Harmony sneezed a few times, then backed up, waving the dust away to try to get clear. Well, this was bad. They'd probably needed a new vacuum anyway, but for it to break open and dustify Buffy's room was pretty unfortunate. She hoped that she wouldn't be too mad, but she couldn't be expected to control when vacuums broke, could she? She could still clean a lot of this up anyway, she'd just get a trash bag and some paper towels from the kitchen.
As she descended the stairs again she almost thought the dust was following her, but then she realized it was a slightly different kind of smell. Sharper. Like, instead of dust, smoke. Oh. Uh-oh.
Harmony ran into the kitchen to find the cookies were practically on fire. In a panic, she grabbed them out of the oven barehanded, but it turned that out vampires could still burn themselves on hot metal, so she ended up dropping the pan and the burnt cookies on the floor. She ran to the sink to try to cool her hands down (terrified of spontaneously igniting) and when she saw the cookies were still smouldering she frantically splashed some water onto them to prevent a fire.
OK. Well. This wasn't good. It was bad. But she could cope. Once her hands stopped being quite so painful, she crossed the room to get some of the paper towels for cleaning up the latest mess. In the end, all the cookies were sadly trashed, and the floor was a little singed, but the pan was fine at least. She put it in the sink, which made her remember the dishwasher. It wasn't making any more noise, so it was probably done. She could unpack it and put the dishes away at least.
Opening it was a whole new terrible surprise. There were little pieces of glass everywhere! Some of the stuff she'd put in must've broken. So unfair! First the vacuum gives out, then the oven goes crazy, and now the dishwasher was sabotaging her. The Summers house definitely needed some upgrading, but she hoped she wouldn't get blamed for all this shoddy engineering. But it was still fine. Harmony unpacked what was left, and since she was a vampire and little nothing cuts didn't matter, she cleaned up all the broken glass too. It didn't really hurt, but her hands were a little bloody now. She sighed, licking them clean and then washing off the residue. Waste not, want not.
She was about to return to Buffy's room to clean up the dust mess, but now she was smelling something else. It was another sharp smell, but different from the smoke. Like… soapy maybe? Why would she be smelling soap? Oh. No. She refused to believe it. The laundry machine couldn't have broken too!
Her worst fears were confirmed when she arrived back in the basement. The laundry machine was overflowing with sudsy water and making a sad glonking sound. Harmony went to her knees and frantically tried to push the water back with her bare hands, trying to stop the mess, but it just got slightly bloody. Everything was going wrong! She'd just wanted to help. But she couldn't. She was doomed. She put her head on the side of the wet washing machine and just started bawling.
"Harmony?" Buffy was here. She'd be overjoyed if everything wasn't in ruins. She sounded confused, but she'd probably be angry soon enough. "Did you overflow the washing machine? Why are you even using the washing machine?"
"I …" Harmony tried to sniffle and wipe her tears, and then discovered she was in vamp face. So gross. "I just wanted to do something nice."
"I'm sure you tried your best." She heard Buffy walking around to the side of her, and saw her daintily unplugging something out of the corner of her eye. The glonking came to an end, and the flooding stopped.
"I'm really bad at this." Harmony said, turning to Buffy. "Everything broke." She was radiant, as always, lighting up the dreary basement with her conciliatory smile.
Buffy noticed something about Harmony though, and her expression changed to shock. "Harmony, why is there…" She trailed off and opened the washing machine, searching the flooded contents. She didn't seem to find what she was looking for though, and her tone shifted back to neutral confusion. "Why is my blanket in here? I'm pretty sure it isn't machine washable."
"There are things you can't wash in washing machines? Why even have these washing machines then? Couldn't they just make a better one?" This cleaning stuff was way more complicated than Harmony had thought.
Buffy turned back to her, and still looked concerned. "But, OK, that's beside the point. What is not beside the point is why is there blood on your lips?"
Harmony touched her face, staring stupidly at the blood for a second before looking at her hands. "Oh! I didn't eat anyone I promise! I cut my hands up in the dishwasher, look!" She displayed them worriedly while forcing herself out of game face.
Buffy did the cute thing where she narrowed her eyes and shook her head slightly, though Harmony was too worried to really appreciate it. "How did you cut your hands in the dishwasher?"
"Cleaning things is hard!" Harmony whined.
"Yes." Buffy grabbed her by the shoulder and pulled her up off the soapy floor. "But it's not a big deal as long as my mom doesn't come home to this. Step One: mops and towels."
There was some quick action to stem the floodwaters and unclog the machine, and then there was some less quick action of putting some stuff in the dryer and hanging other stuff up, and finally there was an interlude where the dust explosion in Buffy's room was rediscovered and summarily dealt with. Along the way, Buffy made conversation complaining about how Anya had dragooned her into a day of campaigning, conspicuously avoiding stickier (sweatier) topics.
"And so, now the Summers campaign is committed to untangling the mess of one way streets in the north district," Buffy said, sweeping some more dust from under the bed. "Anya thinks that the traffic flow might've originally been directed to support some kind of … magic something? So I'll have to get Willow or someone to look at it first, but Mr. Anders does have a point that needing to make fourteen turns to go five blocks is a bit much."
As fun as listening to her talk was though, Harmony needed answers and couldn't wait any longer. Both of them were lying down on their stomachs to reach at the mess under the bed, and Harmony edged a little closer. "Buffy, about this morning-"
"Yeah," Buffy said guiltily. "Sorry for stalling. This is hard."
"I didn't want it to be," Harmony whispered.
Buffy looked pensive, and she almost started speaking a few times before stopping. Harmony was gearing herself up for the rejection, but then Buffy abruptly closed the rest of the distance and kissed her. A lot.
Harmony wasn't desperately trying to judge Buffy's reactions this time, so she got lost in her own. She felt Buffy's body sliding on top of her and her teeth ghosting over her lips and her hair on her skin and one of her hands pushing down on her shoulder like what solid steel wanted to be when it grew up. It lasted longer than the one this morning had, but it still hadn't been nearly long enough when Buffy pulled up again.
"I'm not sure what this is," Buffy said, finally having found her words. "But it's something I want. Something I like. So maybe we can just try for a little bit?"
"Yes. Absolutely. We can try." She could try whatever she wanted.
"OK. But, there's a thing, and this part is kind of terrible," Buffy gulped. "I don't think we should tell… I mean, people won't understand that-"
"I know," Harmony had expected this, in the way that when you imagine your fantasies to come true things like gravity still work in them. "I was the high school queen bee, I understand gossip. And you're in the middle of an election, it'd be totally radioactive."
"Yeah. I wish I could just ditch all the responsibilities sometimes. Times like this," Buffy said. "But afterwards. September 1st. I promise."
"Being secret will be fun!" Harmony had danced this dance before, and it was kind of exciting. And would probably be less frustrating without all the parental supervision high schoolers dealt with. And really, a relationship with Buffy would probably still be fun if she had to gouge out her own eyeballs, so bonus.
Buffy looked a little abashed (And also still flushed. Score!) "So just to get all our ducks in a row. You saw Cordelia in LA? And Lorne?"
That reminded Harmony of something for some reason. "I swore Cordelia to secrecy and then bribed her with drinks, she won't talk. And I don't think Lorne would."
"Yeah, he seemed like he might be … understanding?" Buffy asked.
"Totally." Harmony agreed. Oh wait, ducks. The Fowler Museum. Spike. OK, she'd have to try to play this cool. "But that reminds me, there's the thing I was trying to tell you about this morning!"
"That wasn't a kissing thing? I thought it was more kissing stuff." Buffy said.
"No, it was Spike stuff! I saw Spike in LA, he was poking around a museum basement," Harmony hoped that Buffy wouldn't actually connect Spike to kissing stuff on her own.
"Spike? Again? Ugh, the opposite of kissing stuff," Buffy grumbled. "How did you run into him? How are you in one piece?"
"Lorne gave me a clue and I followed it up. And we kind of had a confrontation, but he was pretty focused on what he was doing and he just let me go," Harmony said. "I thought about maybe trying to fight him, but-"
"You did the right thing." Buffy gave her a little hug, and Harmony's nervous system shorted out for a few seconds. "You're coming along super great but he would've wiped the floor with you. Or maybe made someone else wipe you up off the floor. And I need you in one piece and non-dusty. Did you find out anything about what he was doing?"
Harmony reigned herself back in and made herself focus. Buffy liked it when she was helpful. "Not really, but it was the Fowler Museum, so maybe some people would have a clue from that?"
"Yeah, I'll put Giles and Mom on it, they might figure something out," Buffy said. "I kind of want to drive down to LA now and just deal with him the old fashioned way. But he's probably gonzo already, he wouldn't want me crashing on him before he gets to do whatever his dumb plan is."
Harmony nodded. Seeing Spike right now might present some unpleasant questions anyway. But there was still the spell to talk about. Harmony thought about just leaving it be, but if Buffy found out that she knew some other way she might think she was cheating. Like, with blood, obviously (who would ever cheat on Buffy for the other thing? They'd need to be brain damaged.)
"And there's one more thing I kind of thought I should ask," Harmony started uncertainly.
"Lorne had a lot of advice for you, didn't he?" Buffy said.
"Yeah." Well, that was as good an explanation as any. "Was the blood burning spell Willow cast on me, you know, real?"
Buffy was troubled, and scooted back a few inches. "Harmony. That was definitely your own blood before, right?"
"Yes! Absolutely! I would never lie to you, or betray you! And I wouldn't eat anybody either, because you'd be really angry." Something in Buffy's expression told Harmony that hadn't come out right. "And, umm, it would be totally evil. So of course I wouldn't, because I'm one of the good guys."
She wasn't fully reassured, and looked a little desperate. "I'm sorry we had to lie. But I just- I mean, there was the whole thing with Angelus. You aren't going to go crazy and go on a murder spree are you? If you-"
"No! I'm not, I promise, I'm not like him. I don't need some lousy soul. I have you, you aren't going to just go away!" Harmony said.
"But I might!" Buffy said, sitting up. "Harmony, this summer has been pretty nuts, but still, not nearly as dangerous as things can get. I could die. If I do, are you just going to go ballistic evil vampire on everyone?"
Harmony almost just denied it again, but would she? Would she really stay good if Buffy died? She didn't want to lie. "I would never turn on any of your friends. I like a lot of them too now, more than before I died. You don't need a soul to be friends with someone. And I would try to get revenge on the thing that killed you, and probably die trying. And if I didn't die then, well, I'm a special vampire now. Way more special than Angel. I don't think I'd just want to be some lame fledgling, even if you were gone." She wasn't totally sure of her answer, but she kind of hoped that last part was really true. She wasn't completely sure why.
Buffy was quiet for a long moment. "I probably shouldn't be as OK with that answer as I am."
"It doesn't really matter. If something could kill you, I'd never survive the revenge step anyway," Harmony said.
"Hey, I expect some honest effort from you in avenging my unfortunate demise!" Buffy joked. "Don't just phone it in."
"Never."
"Well then, I think we're fine. More than fine. Possibly even all set." Buffy leaned forward and kissed her again. This one didn't end too soon.
------------------------------------------------------------------
Next time, on Buffy the Vampire Slayer: The Summer is starting to wrap up, and Buffy is still looking to score points for the upcoming election while helping the town. What major project will be the focus of the next episode? This will be the last selection from these choices before the election.
[] Cordelia scored a starring role in a big horror movie, and they want to do shooting in Sunnydale. It could be great for the city's publicity, and might provide work for peaceful demons in the city. What's the catch? Buffy's still popular in Hollywood, and she might have to do a cameo role.
[] Joyce says that the Sunnydale Natural History Museum has a dig site they've been wanting to excavate for ages, but Mayor Wilkins shut them down at every turn. Giles and Jonathan think that the ruins there might be extremely old, and with proper supervision who knows what knowledge or artifacts could be uncovered.
[] Xander's made a breakthrough in tracking the Yeti, with help from both Oz and one of the Rat Nobles. Buffy might finally be able to get face to face with the Yeti, but it'll mean working with Amy again if she wants to do it.
[] CyberWillow has been analyzing the police database, and she thinks she can see some suggestive patterns in the crime records. Nobody else can make much sense of what she's saying, but Buffy figures better safe than sorry, and Chief Matt agrees.
DeAnno
Sometimes words have two meanings
Buffy was vague with Harmony in the scene, but her intent is not to spread the secret any further until September 1st.
- Location
- Vancouver
That was awesome, having Harmony as the main character for an arc was great. I'm glad we managed to set sail to the HarmonyXBuffy ship. It makes sense that they're going to keep things under wraps for now, though I feel like there are definitely going to be... complications that arise in the next few arcs because of it (because this is Buffyverse how could there not be). Still, going to be tons of fun (for us, the readers). I wonder who among her friends will react the worst to the revelation that they're dating. Xander was ready to dust Harmony at first, but I'm thinking Willow isn't going to react well and that Giles is going to look on this poorly (does Anya already know? Buffy went to her for advice, she might suspect something).
[X] Joyce says that the Sunnydale Natural History Museum has a dig site they've been wanting to excavate for ages, but Mayor Wilkins shut them down at every turn. Giles and Jonathan think that the ruins there might be extremely old, and with proper supervision who knows what knowledge or artifacts could be uncovered.
I've been looking back at some stuff and I think this might be where the Gem of Amara was hidden. Spike seems like he's researching it too, so it'd be a good idea to get it before he could, and this might be our last chance before the election.
[X] Joyce says that the Sunnydale Natural History Museum has a dig site they've been wanting to excavate for ages, but Mayor Wilkins shut them down at every turn. Giles and Jonathan think that the ruins there might be extremely old, and with proper supervision who knows what knowledge or artifacts could be uncovered.
I've been looking back at some stuff and I think this might be where the Gem of Amara was hidden. Spike seems like he's researching it too, so it'd be a good idea to get it before he could, and this might be our last chance before the election.
DeAnno
Sometimes words have two meanings
Anya knows, Buffy was pretty straightforward with her about it; it might be in the previouslies next episode. (Normally I wouldn't be adding so much extra information, but you know everything Buffy knows anyway, things are just confused because of POV switching)
Oh wow, Harmony's attempts to cook and clean were even more hilariously inept than I was expecting! The scene at the end with her and Buffy was a very satisfying end to the arc too. This whole arc being from Harmony's perspective has been really fun, actually. Harmony as an actual main character (And now officially dating Buffy no less!) is something that I've never seen before in this fandom and probably won't ever see again. It's great stuff.
As for the vote, as this is the last choice before the election, it's the ideal time to pick something that helps boost Buffy's chances there in some way, which probably means either the movie or CyberWillow. I'm leaning towards the movie as it looks more fun!
[X] Cordelia scored a starring role in a big horror movie, and they want to do shooting in Sunnydale. It could be great for the city's publicity, and might provide work for peaceful demons in the city. What's the catch? Buffy's still popular in Hollywood, and she might have to do a cameo role.
As for the vote, as this is the last choice before the election, it's the ideal time to pick something that helps boost Buffy's chances there in some way, which probably means either the movie or CyberWillow. I'm leaning towards the movie as it looks more fun!
[X] Cordelia scored a starring role in a big horror movie, and they want to do shooting in Sunnydale. It could be great for the city's publicity, and might provide work for peaceful demons in the city. What's the catch? Buffy's still popular in Hollywood, and she might have to do a cameo role.
- Location
- St. Petersburg
Every sentence after this one filled me with no small amount of dread and morbid fascination at what we have unleashed. Good stuff.
[x] Cordelia scored a starring role in a big horror movie, and they want to do shooting in Sunnydale. It could be great for the city's publicity, and might provide work for peaceful demons in the city. What's the catch? Buffy's still popular in Hollywood, and she might have to do a cameo role.
I will not stop auto-voting Cordy until she gets her spotlight!
...and maybe not even after that...
Goddamn Crowley, spreading his evil roadways everywhere.
[X] Cordelia scored a starring role in a big horror movie, and they want to do shooting in Sunnydale. It could be great for the city's publicity, and might provide work for peaceful demons in the city. What's the catch? Buffy's still popular in Hollywood, and she might have to do a cameo role.
[X] Joyce says that the Sunnydale Natural History Museum has a dig site they've been wanting to excavate for ages, but Mayor Wilkins shut them down at every turn. Giles and Jonathan think that the ruins there might be extremely old, and with proper supervision who knows what knowledge or artifacts could be uncovered.
Cordelia having her mind blown at Harmony actually succeeding sounds very fun, and so does giving Joyce time to spend with Buffy as she awkwardly tries to figure out what happened.
[X] Cordelia scored a starring role in a big horror movie, and they want to do shooting in Sunnydale. It could be great for the city's publicity, and might provide work for peaceful demons in the city. What's the catch? Buffy's still popular in Hollywood, and she might have to do a cameo role.
- Location
- Canada
[X] Cordelia scored a starring role in a big horror movie, and they want to do shooting in Sunnydale. It could be great for the city's publicity, and might provide work for peaceful demons in the city. What's the catch? Buffy's still popular in Hollywood, and she might have to do a cameo role.
[X] Cordelia scored a starring role in a big horror movie, and they want to do shooting in Sunnydale. It could be great for the city's publicity, and might provide work for peaceful demons in the city. What's the catch? Buffy's still popular in Hollywood, and she might have to do a cameo role.
Sigh, I guess Buffy just can't escape her necrophilia. Oh well.
[x] Joyce says that the Sunnydale Natural History Museum has a dig site they've been wanting to excavate for ages, but Mayor Wilkins shut them down at every turn. Giles and Jonathan think that the ruins there might be extremely old, and with proper supervision who knows what knowledge or artifacts could be uncovered.
[x] Joyce says that the Sunnydale Natural History Museum has a dig site they've been wanting to excavate for ages, but Mayor Wilkins shut them down at every turn. Giles and Jonathan think that the ruins there might be extremely old, and with proper supervision who knows what knowledge or artifacts could be uncovered.
Lab_Accident
A 2D 1D4
- Location
- Your dreams
Harmony "cleaning" was glorious. It was like watching (well, reading a vivid written report of) a train wreck. I just couldn't look away. And in the end, Buffy was surprisingly chill about it. So cute! Now we just got to work on giving Buffy a maid fetish.
[X] Cordelia scored a starring role in a big horror movie, and they want to do shooting in Sunnydale. It could be great for the city's publicity, and might provide work for peaceful demons in the city. What's the catch? Buffy's still popular in Hollywood, and she might have to do a cameo role.
Cordy can hardly spill the secret if she's all the way over in LA and sober, now can she?
[X] Cordelia scored a starring role in a big horror movie, and they want to do shooting in Sunnydale. It could be great for the city's publicity, and might provide work for peaceful demons in the city. What's the catch? Buffy's still popular in Hollywood, and she might have to do a cameo role.
Cordy can hardly spill the secret if she's all the way over in LA and sober, now can she?
[x] CyberWillow has been analyzing the police database, and she thinks she can see some suggestive patterns in the crime records. Nobody else can make much sense of what she's saying, but Buffy figures better safe than sorry, and Chief Matt agrees.
This could be a big help with the election or it could be just reinforcing the part of the vote we already have.
This could be a big help with the election or it could be just reinforcing the part of the vote we already have.
WyldCard4
Unregistered
[X] CyberWillow has been analyzing the police database, and she thinks she can see some suggestive patterns in the crime records. Nobody else can make much sense of what she's saying, but Buffy figures better safe than sorry, and Chief Matt agrees.
Willow and also Willow is a very good combination, even if all the other votes look appealing.
Willow and also Willow is a very good combination, even if all the other votes look appealing.
- Location
- United States
[X] Joyce says that the Sunnydale Natural History Museum has a dig site they've been wanting to excavate for ages, but Mayor Wilkins shut them down at every turn. Giles and Jonathan think that the ruins there might be extremely old, and with proper supervision who knows what knowledge or artifacts could be uncovered
Maybe it is the sleep deprivation but I read it as Buffy thinking Harmony wanted to be Buffy's maid and not in a sexual way or romantic way. But maybe I am just to tired
[X] Cordelia scored a starring role in a big horror movie, and they want to do shooting in Sunnydale. It could be great for the city's publicity, and might provide work for peaceful demons in the city. What's the catch? Buffy's still popular in Hollywood, and she might have to do a cameo role.
[X] Cordelia scored a starring role in a big horror movie, and they want to do shooting in Sunnydale. It could be great for the city's publicity, and might provide work for peaceful demons in the city. What's the catch? Buffy's still popular in Hollywood, and she might have to do a cameo role.
DeAnno
Sometimes words have two meanings
If we learned anything from this episode it was that nobody should want Harmony to be their maid, really.
Plus, if true, then Buffy has an odd idea of what a maid's job description is, given the repeated kissing ...
Lab_Accident
A 2D 1D4
- Location
- Your dreams
Seriously, with how much Cordy keeps showing up, we just might steal her back from under Angel.
- Location
- St. Petersburg
I wish. 
She has an actual job now. It's safe to assume she isn't working for Angel in the first place. However, that very same job keeps her in LA where all of her stage connections are.
Unless we somehow make Hollywood relocate to Sunnydale during our mayoral term (and wouldn't that be an achievement?), I don't see Cordy making more than a few episodic appearances.
She has an actual job now. It's safe to assume she isn't working for Angel in the first place. However, that very same job keeps her in LA where all of her stage connections are.
Unless we somehow make Hollywood relocate to Sunnydale during our mayoral term (and wouldn't that be an achievement?), I don't see Cordy making more than a few episodic appearances.