"I-I'll explain later." You shrink a bit under the gaze of the unknowing, determined not to let Ikutsuki be a part of this discussion. You know better than to listen to him, but you'd still be more comfortable if you could keep him as far away from you as possible. "With... less people. You, Yukari-san, and maybe Shinjiro-san." You're not going to make him be a part of this if he doesn't want to.
Makoto-san nods and pockets his Evoker. "I'll hold you to that, then. Is later tonight okay?"
Well, it's not like you were planning to go to Tartarus or anything. Going out and fighting Shadows is the last thing you want to do on a school night. It just keeps you from being able to pay attention in class the next day.
Sadly, the Shadows don't seem to agree with you. "That should be fine. As long as nobody pays attention to the security cameras or anything." They might be recording tonight. They might not. You don't even know if they're supposed to record things or not, but nobody's been able to make them do anything consistently, so it's just something you have to live with.
Just what changed that, anyway?
Ikutsuki seems to sense that he is unwelcome. Or maybe he actually does respect your wish for privacy. Or is trying to pretend he had no idea what would happen if the dorm devolves into violence.
When the person in charge of a dormitory wants it to devolve into violence, something has gone horribly wrong.
"Well, I'll just be on my way, then!" He doesn't seem to notice Mitsuru-san's icy glare. Or maybe he assumes it's for someone else. It's not like Junpei-san will ever be the epitome of manners and self-control.
But he's gone, and you think that might just be the important part.
It doesn't take much effort to figure out that your room is the best place to talk about this. It's a comfortable environment, you can close the door so nobody else can join the discussion, and you don't have any next-door neighbors to worry about.
There's still the issue of space, of course, but you don't think there was any way to resolve that which let you keep your privacy. Because that's what happens, when you have four people in one small room.
"You didn't have to go along with this," You tell Shinjiro-san, hoping the other two aren't paying close enough attention to notice. They probably are. "I can do this on my own."
I know how to get my point across, at least, and that's better than some people I know.
Shinjiro-san shrugs, seemingly unbothered, but you know otherwise. "It's my mess, too, isn't it?" You can't actually think of a good response to that.
Aside from that there's nothing he could add that you couldn't say, too, but if this is how he tries to deal with his problems, you're not about to stop him.
So long as he's, you know, actually trying.
For a moment, nobody says anything. Yukari fidgets in place for a moment before asking, "So, just what happened that night, anyway? At first, everything seemed fine, and... then it was just me." You don't think you've ever seen her so confused before, not even that time a fairy ambushed you at the aquarium and tried to sell you stuff.
"I have two Personas," Makoto-san explains, which makes him an oddity, and confirms that he is probably the new Guest Lavenza told you about. "I've been able to hear them for a while, but... that was my first time summoning them. I meant to just use Orpheus, but... Thanatos didn't agree." As a name for one of his Personas, Orpheus fits perfectly. So does Thanatos. With how different they are, that shouldn't be possible, but...
Wild Cards make a habit of doing the impossible.
It just... doesn't surprise you for some reason. "And because he lost control of his Persona, things got... messy," You finish. "It's... not the first time something like that has happened, and... I could have gone without the reminder."
Just a month ago, everything seemed so simple, for a world that turns green every midnight. You would surround yourself with good people, people who care about you, and there was never any reason for you to go digging up buried traumas.
But the second Makoto-san picked up that Evoker, everything got so much more complicated again. You guess they weren't kidding, when they said this year would be important.
"What happened?" Yukari's voice is quieter than it was before, as though she realizes that she doesn't want to know the answer, but still can't stop herself from asking the question.
"It was back when you were in middle school." Shinjiro-san tries to sound casual about this, but it's not working. At all. If you can get Yukari-san to be more worried about him than you, you'll consider this talk to be a success. "SEES was just me, Aki, and Mitsuru then. The two of them didn't have any problems controlling their Personas, but... It feels like I kept getting worse at it. And, eventually..." He trails off there.
That still doesn't sound quite right.
"A big Shadow showed up by my old house," You continue, fingering the key in your pocket that no longer works to open anything, aside from boxes in your own mind with information you didn't actually want to know. "I'd already been awake in the Dark Hour for a while, but I still didn't really know anything about it, just that I couldn't go outside without dealing with the monsters. I don't know if I could even hear my Persona yet." Not that you always can, but if you're listening for him, you're generally bound to find something.
Makoto-san blinks. "You can not be able to hear them?" ...He scares you. For reasons somewhat unrelated to Thanatos.
"How long have you been...?"
"Close to ten years." Makoto-san is terrifying. There's no other word for it.
Yukari-san sighs. "I don't think that's the point here..." And you were hoping the change of subject would stick. "Amada-kun?"
"It was just me and Mom, back then. She'd never been active before, so she didn't know anything about what was going on either. She wanted to ask Mitsuru-san what was happening, when the others showed up, but... They were a bit busy fighting. And we didn't want to be too close to that. But... it turned out that our house itself was too close. And... I was the only one who got out."
"That's why I don't fight anymore." Shinjiro-san seems to have finally realized that pretending to be fine doesn't actually work for him. It only took him more than a year. "And why Ikutsuki would think he could get Ken to hurt me. Honestly, I don't get why he hasn't either..."
"Well, you clearly didn't need the help with it." Is this a bad time for humor? Probably. Do you need some way for things to not be depressing right now? Yes. "And it's pretty hard to hate someone who lets his guilt push him to the point of suicide." ...So much for that. Well, it's not like you didn't already know you need therapy...
You think you might have managed to break Yukari-san. "I-I'm sorry, I think I misheard that?"
"He gave me his Evoker before running into Tartarus on his own. I'm not sure how else I was supposed to interpret that." Okay. Deep breaths. You need to relax. Preferably before Nemi manages to accidentally let the time travel slip to three people at once. One of which you really don't want to have that conversation with. Ever. "Things haven't been that bad in a while, but... If we end up splitting into groups, maybe I shouldn't be with Makoto-san."
Yukari-san does not seem satisfied with this at all. Still, this seems like as good a time as any to kick everyone else out of your room. You've given them the sensitive information, now you'd really rather not talk about it anymore.
...At least you actually can talk about it now. And you can't believe that's a real improvement...
You... haven't really paid much attention to the others for the rest of the week. Nobody tried getting you to talk to them or anything, so you assume nothing really important happened.
But you think you're okay now. Kind of. You sort of have to be, since you're going to Tartarus this Saturday. It's mostly for Junpei-san and Makoto-san's sakes, but apparently having everyone there when possible is a good way to get used to it.
You sort of wish you didn't have to get used to it, but, well... it's a week away. (Pick up to three.)
[ ] Spend time with others.
-[ ] Maiko and Makoto-san. (+Expression)
-[ ] Akira.
-[ ] Kyouma and Oyama-chan. (+Empathy)
-[ ] Shinjiro-san and Yukari-san. (+Diligence)
-[ ] Akihiko-san and Morgana.
-[ ] Mitsuru-san and Koromaru.
-[ ] Junpei-san.
[ ] Practice Channeling
-[ ] Zio
--[ ] By yourself
--[ ] With Akihiko-san
-[ ] Hama
-[ ] Kouha
[ ] Talk to the librarian.
[ ] Explore the library. (+Courage)
[ ] Read about mythology. (+Knowledge)
