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Seele Vollerei: The end of reality, and what came after.
- Thread starter Baughn
- Start date
- Sci-Fi
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Baughn
Healing-type writer
- Location
- Dublin
...right!
So, with this update, it brings up the question: How many twins are too many? Let's count them...
- Seele & Veliona: There's a single known instance. It's all nice and simple. Yes, they're a little bit posthuman, but Seele's not likely to go off and fork() anytime soon.
- Kiana & Sirin: Do these count as 'twins'? Should it be 'siblings'? Perhaps it's best just to describe them as "Kiana and Sirin". Speaking of Kiana, there's a new episode of Cooking with Valkyries to be had. These are always fun. Kiana's relationship with Theresa is a complicated one, ranging the gamut from "Commander & valkyrie", through "teacher & student", all the way to "siblings". In the latter case...
Well, Kiana often calls Theresa "aunt Teri", and the latter doesn't really mind, but I could tell you all about how the distinction between siblings and aunts/nieces can be a porous one. Teri-teri is, in some ways, even younger than Kiana. Kiana shouldn't take advantage of that, however -- if she does, then Teri will drag her down to her level, and then beat her with superior experience. Literally...
Wait, I'm getting sidetracked.
- Rozaliya & Liliya. Everyone's favorite twins, no doubt! These two are genuinely doing a lot better than they did in canon, considering they're from Delta's canon. Rozaliya and Delta are the same person; the timeline we're looking at branched off shortly after Liliya got stuck in hospital, when Bronya and Seele were able to get Raven's help with healing her.
Unless that happened a long time before, when Seele made it back from the Sea of Quanta instead of staying trapped there? I genuinely don't know what happened to Seele and Bronya in Delta's timeline; they don't show up in the events, and it's hard to believe they'd ignore Liliya by choice, but the place was falling apart.
You're not going to see any of this on-screen in the main storyline.
- Delta, and... Delta's version of Liliya. This universe runs on many-worlds physics, after all! Or at least something close to that. It's anyone's guess if we'll ever see them.
- The Gemina twins, aka. Rozaliya and Liliya, aka. Delta's little sisters. They're complete derps, and seriously need to grow up, but they're also keeping her sane. These two are a version of the twins who have never really had anything bad happen to them, or at least nothing they didn't shrug off. They showed up in several events prior to Delta's, before finally providing a hope spot at the end of Delta's storyline. When she returned from the bubble universe she was invading, (and helping Seele in), at least she had someone waiting for her.
They have this tendency to get everywhere you don't want them to get. You really shouldn't leave them alone. That's probably superior to following Otto's orders, however, but Delta doesn't have any decent options other than hoping Otto will be able to help her somehow.
- The Previous Era versions, aka. Roz and Lils. Possibly snek. Not much is known about them; speaking canonically, we don't even know that they exist. Though considering how miHoYo has operated thus far, I'd be confused if they don't.
Like I said, they haven't shown up in canon. I wouldn't expect them to. The only reason they're relevant right now, and not put on a bus like all of Seele's younger siblings except the ones that are dead, is because they've been merged with a Honkai beast, thereby gaining the power to matter. Rozaliya and Liliya are capable valkyries. They're both A-rank on their own; easily S-rank when together, at least in terms of pure combat power, though they're too unreliable -- at the point where they're introduced in canon -- to operate fully on their own. They're fourteen, after all.
Something something 'child soldiers', but there's a lot of that going around.
The Previous Era versions wouldn't have been hybridized this way, because no-one at the time tried to do so before close to the end of their timeline, and Dr. Mei at least had the decency to limit her experiments to adults. Not consenting adults, but adults. If they ever meet, Roza and Liliya would likely find that Kevin smells like 'kin'. Theresa does, and Theresa is far closer to a properly operating MANTIS than the two of them are.
I'd take Kevin over Otto, a hundred times, despite the former's plans. At least he's well-intentioned, and while Kevin wanted to kill most of humanity -- at a time when that would have meant hundreds of millions -- Otto is the one who has, in fact, caused the death of billions.
In terms of this story, what we know about Roz and Lils is...
- They were Veliona's friends... obviously.
- They were about half a head taller than Rozaliya and Liliya are.
Well, that's about it!
This has been your daily sleep-drunk data-dump. You're welcome.
So, with this update, it brings up the question: How many twins are too many? Let's count them...
- Seele & Veliona: There's a single known instance. It's all nice and simple. Yes, they're a little bit posthuman, but Seele's not likely to go off and fork() anytime soon.
- Kiana & Sirin: Do these count as 'twins'? Should it be 'siblings'? Perhaps it's best just to describe them as "Kiana and Sirin". Speaking of Kiana, there's a new episode of Cooking with Valkyries to be had. These are always fun. Kiana's relationship with Theresa is a complicated one, ranging the gamut from "Commander & valkyrie", through "teacher & student", all the way to "siblings". In the latter case...
Well, Kiana often calls Theresa "aunt Teri", and the latter doesn't really mind, but I could tell you all about how the distinction between siblings and aunts/nieces can be a porous one. Teri-teri is, in some ways, even younger than Kiana. Kiana shouldn't take advantage of that, however -- if she does, then Teri will drag her down to her level, and then beat her with superior experience. Literally...
Wait, I'm getting sidetracked.
- Rozaliya & Liliya. Everyone's favorite twins, no doubt! These two are genuinely doing a lot better than they did in canon, considering they're from Delta's canon. Rozaliya and Delta are the same person; the timeline we're looking at branched off shortly after Liliya got stuck in hospital, when Bronya and Seele were able to get Raven's help with healing her.
Unless that happened a long time before, when Seele made it back from the Sea of Quanta instead of staying trapped there? I genuinely don't know what happened to Seele and Bronya in Delta's timeline; they don't show up in the events, and it's hard to believe they'd ignore Liliya by choice, but the place was falling apart.
You're not going to see any of this on-screen in the main storyline.
- Delta, and... Delta's version of Liliya. This universe runs on many-worlds physics, after all! Or at least something close to that. It's anyone's guess if we'll ever see them.
- The Gemina twins, aka. Rozaliya and Liliya, aka. Delta's little sisters. They're complete derps, and seriously need to grow up, but they're also keeping her sane. These two are a version of the twins who have never really had anything bad happen to them, or at least nothing they didn't shrug off. They showed up in several events prior to Delta's, before finally providing a hope spot at the end of Delta's storyline. When she returned from the bubble universe she was invading, (and helping Seele in), at least she had someone waiting for her.
They have this tendency to get everywhere you don't want them to get. You really shouldn't leave them alone. That's probably superior to following Otto's orders, however, but Delta doesn't have any decent options other than hoping Otto will be able to help her somehow.
- The Previous Era versions, aka. Roz and Lils. Possibly snek. Not much is known about them; speaking canonically, we don't even know that they exist. Though considering how miHoYo has operated thus far, I'd be confused if they don't.
Like I said, they haven't shown up in canon. I wouldn't expect them to. The only reason they're relevant right now, and not put on a bus like all of Seele's younger siblings except the ones that are dead, is because they've been merged with a Honkai beast, thereby gaining the power to matter. Rozaliya and Liliya are capable valkyries. They're both A-rank on their own; easily S-rank when together, at least in terms of pure combat power, though they're too unreliable -- at the point where they're introduced in canon -- to operate fully on their own. They're fourteen, after all.
Something something 'child soldiers', but there's a lot of that going around.
The Previous Era versions wouldn't have been hybridized this way, because no-one at the time tried to do so before close to the end of their timeline, and Dr. Mei at least had the decency to limit her experiments to adults. Not consenting adults, but adults. If they ever meet, Roza and Liliya would likely find that Kevin smells like 'kin'. Theresa does, and Theresa is far closer to a properly operating MANTIS than the two of them are.
I'd take Kevin over Otto, a hundred times, despite the former's plans. At least he's well-intentioned, and while Kevin wanted to kill most of humanity -- at a time when that would have meant hundreds of millions -- Otto is the one who has, in fact, caused the death of billions.
In terms of this story, what we know about Roz and Lils is...
- They were Veliona's friends... obviously.
- They were about half a head taller than Rozaliya and Liliya are.
Well, that's about it!
This has been your daily sleep-drunk data-dump. You're welcome.
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Snowfire
Polyglot of Chimera
- Location
- Wordcats
Some of them were, to be fair. Consenting, I mean. More than Otto ever had tbh.
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Baughn
Healing-type writer
- Location
- Dublin
She's grown a lot. It's been nearly eight years since the events of <current chapter>, and she's decidedly more mature than Carole is. They did grow up together, being trapped in this bubble universe for six years. That's half of Carole's life, and in actual fact she can't remember a time when Ruby wasn't part of her life.
This isn't to say that Rubia's personality has fundamentally changed. Rubia is still Rubia, but her behavior is a better fit for her apparent age now.
As to the name...
Snowfire named her, but we make no claims to originality.
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Baughn
Healing-type writer
- Location
- Dublin
My internet connection has been shit-tier the last two weeks, which is inhibiting my ability to do stuff. Like writing.
Thought I'd let you know. The story is by no means stalled; writer's block remains vanquished. Well, worst case I'd expect an update sometime next week; I'm transitioning to local tools. Sadly that's not really possible for the AI itself.
Thought I'd let you know. The story is by no means stalled; writer's block remains vanquished. Well, worst case I'd expect an update sometime next week; I'm transitioning to local tools. Sadly that's not really possible for the AI itself.
Seele Quest: 6.6
Baughn
Healing-type writer
- Location
- Dublin
She might be okay with not being Veliona-esque.
Veliona might be okay with it too.
After all, Veliona doesn't exist.
ooOOoo
Carole disappears into her room, to—fetch a feather? Girl herself up? You don't know, except that after a few minutes she comes back out, pacing nervously back and forth for a little bit while muttering to herself.
A little while ago she was all fired up, but now? Now, the reality is sinking in, you guess. On some level, she knows she's messed up. She wouldn't have gotten to this point if she didn't.
"Carole–"
Roza moves to put a hand on her shoulder.
Whatever she's about to say is lost when Carole shakes her head, blinking tears out of her eyes. "I know," she says. "I know, alright? I'll call her in a minute. I just…"
Her voice trails off, and she bites her lip. You watch her helplessly for a while as she stares at the ground in front of her.
"Okay." Carole nods to herself, and raises her head to look at the rest of you. "I'll do it in a minute. I just need to let the chief know who you are."
Carole glances at Roza, who nods slightly. Carole leaves the house, and Roza sighs, running a hand through her hair.
"I wish Theresa were here," she says wistfully. "She'd know what to do."
"She's not," you say. "You are."
"Yeah…"
"Don't sell yourself short," you tell her. "If there's anyone I'd trust like this, it'd be you."
Roza smiles faintly at this, and twines her fingers together with yours. She leans her head against your shoulder, closing her eyes.
"It'll be okay," you say. "We're a team, right?"
She nods.
"We're a team," she says.
The situation's not so critical that it can't wait five minutes, but you're uncomfortably aware of the incoming swarm of honkai beasts, now perceptibly closer than when you first noticed them. You stand quietly together and wait for Carole to return. Liliya shortly joins you, leaning against her sister. You put an arm around the both of them, once again just taking comfort that they're there.
You know it's not healthy, but you've very little left except the two of them. It is what it is, you guess.
After a little while, Roza yawns.
It's times like these that your sisters mean the most to you. You aren't related, except in every way that matters. If you hadn't had Roza and Liliya, you don't know what you'd do. Be a wallflower, probably. Stuck in your room reading books, for now until eternity, unless somehow you'd still gone through X-10. In that case you'd just be trapped forever in your head, instead. Maybe Kevin would have helped get you out. You bet he would have.
Liliya and Roza are everything to you. If anything were to happen to them...
Your fist clenches, and even your stigmata spools up slightly. If anyone hurts them, they're dead. You're not letting that happen. You're simply not.
There's silence for a moment, before Roza yawns again. She turns to look at Veliona.
"Vel, do you..."
Your sister's not paying proper attention.
"I found a... snake, outside reality," she says, her voice distant. "Or maybe it was a dragon. I don't know. It's hard to be sure, when it's so far from home."
Veliona's eyes are unfocused, staring through Roza and Liliya. You gently touch her shoulder, and she startles.
"Vel," you say, softly. "It's me."
She blinks once or twice, before she realizes where she is. Her eyes meet yours for a moment, and she seems almost embarrassed.
"I... I'm sorry," she says. "I was just thinking about... stuff. Nevermind. It's silly."
"It can't be that silly," you say. "Please, tell us."
She sighs.
"I'm still working out what it was. I was thinking about my past," she says. "About… remember that idea you had, my 'host'? That we used to be the same person?"
You silently nod, and she looks tiredly up at you. You know, because her entire bearing has changed. She's slouching, and quiet; her speech is too slow, for someone who's always quick with her words. She isn't smiling.
"I want that to be true," she says. That's all she says. Roza opens her mouth, but Veliona looks away—back to the door, where Carole's showed back up, her expression now grim and determined.
The uncertainties she's going through have nothing to do with yours. You're glad she made up her mind, but right now you could hit her. She barely glances at you before going inside, pacing back and forth several times before drawing a deep breath and slapping her cheeks.
"Carole–" you say.
"I know!"
"Then call her," Roza says. "Fu Hua is one of the nicest, most understanding people I know. She won't shout at you, and she won't blame you, not if you speak frankly. Just let her know what's going on."
"It's not mom I'm worried about!" she whines, then slumps. "I'm calling. I'm calling."
It's not like you don't understand.
Carole's messed up. She's scared of her mother, parentheses question mark parentheses, which is a concept you understand all too well. Unlike you and Cocolia, however, there's no reason she should be scared. Carole's scared of getting a talking-to, of getting grounded, maybe even getting an extra-tough training session.
You were scared of being killed.
You know well enough that Cocolia loved you, that she loved all of you, yet somehow her brand of 'love' didn't stop her running experiments on you and your sisters. She stopped after you died, according to Roza, but Roza said that while rubbing her horn, and…
You stop that line of thought before it makes you cry. Those aren't really mother's fault. They'd have died, otherwise.
Except Roza only did something as desperately dangerous as going to the beach to cheer Liliya up, after mother had sent Bronya away from them, and…
Stop.
It's helpful that you're already holding Roza's hand. Your fingers tremble, but she's there, already calming you.
Carole's scared. You were scared too, for different reasons, but you were still scared. You never failed your mother; she's the one who failed you and Bronya. Is that better, or worse? Should you be thankful to her for at least treating your littlest sisters right, or angry that she couldn't get her act together sooner?
"Call her," you tell Carole.
She looks your way, and you continue, your voice heavy with emotion.
"You're scared. I get that. But you promised you would, and you know she loves you. She'd never hurt you, or anyone you loved. You said you'd call her. And you promised."
"But–"
"We don't have a ton of time," you say, and it's enough. She gulps, nodding.
She sits back and closes her eyes. You don't know what you should have been expecting from a magical telepathic feather—she'd do it all in her head, maybe?—but that's not what happens. You watch as her face twists into different emotions. Fear. Anger. Sadness. Joy? Finally, she opens her mouth.
"Hi, mom," she says, in a tiny voice.
You strive to listen in, but however this works, you only get Carole's side of the conversation.
"Yeah, it's me!" Carole says, a little louder. "I miss you. I…"
For a few seconds she doesn't say anything, and it's only by her expression—tired at first, then more and more pained—that you have any idea how the conversation is going.
You notice a tiny teardrop hit the ground. You continue to watch as the girl breaks down.
"I—I tried, mom."
"After you left." Roza looks like she wants to say something, while Carole continues. "The trolls kept coming. At first, I was able to kill them. But there were more and more each day. We had to retreat closer and closer to the village. Now, they've taken over everything. They're everywhere. We can't tend the fields, I can barely go hunting, and they're always there, just outside the village, keeping us trapped. I tried, mom. I'm sorry."
Her voice is tiny and meek, and you can barely stand to watch. Your hand twitches as you realise you want to give her a reassuring touch. But you can't. She's not Liliya; she doesn't know you. She wouldn't appreciate it.
"Let's–" Roza says, and you nod, getting up to leave. You don't want to watch this. You have questions for Veliona, anyhow.
There's a workshop, and it's empty. You step inside, noting in passing that Isaac and Tomoyo also are leaving the room. There's even a door, which is something Annie's house didn't have.
You close it.
"Everyone's starving," Carole says, her voice somewhat muffled now. She's forging on as if she's trying to self-flagellate with the words, and you stand around awkwardly, looking around for something to distract yourself. Just like the main living room, most of what's here is made of wood—but there's a couple of nanotech tools which Einstein apparently left behind. Nothing like a general constructor, or you imagine the village would look rather different. Lili has one in her backpack.
"We haven't had anything but potatoes for a month, and there's no more left–"
You hear sobs, and then your senses light up like a fireworks display, screaming at you about extreme honkai levels in the other room. You open the door a crack, spotting what you were half suspecting—Rubia, the reddish light of her "teleportation" still hanging around her like a mantle for a few seconds after she's appeared. And Carole flinches backwards.
"I'm sorry," she says, between sniffles. "I tried my best."
It shouldn't have come as a surprise to her when Ruby doesn't launch into a scolding, but somehow it does. Instead she steps forward and gently, inevitably, draws Carole into her arms like one might a small, wounded animal.
Carole collapses into the hug with a sob, tears falling freely now.
You close the door again.
ooOOoo
"There, there, Carole. You'll be fine," Rubia says, rubbing her back and running one hand through her short hair to help her calm. Her eyes flicker around the room, briefly fixing on the workshop door, before she focuses on her sister. "I'm here now. I'll take care of everything."
If you were there, you'd have stared at them in wonder. Since you're listening through the wall you can't do so, but the wall doesn't really block your senses, and neither, you suspect, does it block Rubia's. She looks precisely at where Roza is, before returning to Carole.
Vel looks up at you, a question in her eyes. You shrug in response, and she gives you a wry smile, resigning herself to observing the scene.
"Shh," the former incarnation of ruin tells her possibly niece, or little sister, or something along those lines. "It's okay. Don't worry."
"They're starving," Carole sobs, hiccuping slightly. "Jane nearly died, and I couldn't do anything. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I tried my best."
"I know," Rubia says, rubbing Carole's back soothingly. "You did your best. That's all we ever asked of you, Carole. It's over now. I'm here."
The sheer implausibility of the scene makes your head ache.
You never thought you'd see the day when you saw Rubia offer comfort to anyone. It's almost surreal. She's changed a lot since the first time you saw her, yes, but–
Most of your memories of her are from when Kiana dragged her into the light, instead of letting her sulk in imaginary space, but a lot of the change was in accepting that she wasn't Fu Hua. Even a week ago she was still basically that child. A clever child, with far too much knowledge for her own good, but she acted about as mature as Rozaliya usually did. Unlike Roza, you don't think it was an act.
That didn't make her a bad person. She spent a lot of her time playing games with Sora and the other children, when she wasn't having far too much fun fighting the Honkai, and you remember how Rubia loved to hear laughter.
It's still a far cry from the woman who's comforting Carole now, and that hammers home that it's been six years for them. Everyone changes. You can hardly remember the Seele from six years ago, but you think she was happy, with her family and her mother–
You can't tell if that's rose-tinted glasses, or the cold, cruel truth of reality.
Vel looks at you with a wan smile, taking your hand in hers and squeezing it reassuringly. You squeeze back, a silent gesture of gratitude, and the four of you stand around, more or less awkwardly, until Carole's tears have largely died down. You'd have preferred to let them be on their own, but…
Time.
You open the door, addressing Rubia.
"Hi, Ruby," you say, waving a little. "It's been a while. How's life?"
She looks up, eyes wide. Wow. Surprising her is practically impossible; she must have been really preoccupied with Carole.
"Seele… Seele?" she asks, her deep red eyes widening in surprise. "It's… really you. I thought you'd–"
"In the flesh," you say. "Or whatever this is. Last time I saw you, you weren't…"
"Grown-up?" Rubia laughs. She keeps on trying to comfort Carole, but the girl breaks away, blushing fiercely. Rubia turns her attention to you, still looking surprised. "Hua kept saying you'd all be amazed to see me. So no, I suppose not. It's been six years, Seele. Six years since the world ended. It was… hard, at first. But, as you can see, we're all doing fine."
"Last time I saw you, you'd have exploded at me for calling you childish," you say, smiling weakly.
"Last time I saw you, you wouldn't have dared. People change." She shrugs, looking at Carole. "It's a long story. I'll show you sometime when my little sister isn't being all depressed and stuff. Give me a second. I need to let Fu Hua know you're here."
Carole glares at her older sister, then looks away. She gives a small sigh, her blonde hair falling into her eyes. Rubia goes still for a moment, and you feel Honkai energy surge around her for a moment, red lightning framing her in a fleeting corona. Something flickers out from her, just above your stigmata's sensor threshold, and it takes you a moment to recognise it. You lose the vector of the communications burst swiftly, but you know what it is.
"I wanted your help," Carole says, her tired voice meant for Rubia, who acknowledges her with a twitch. "I've been hoping you'd come back for months now, but I realised when I called you that I should've done it a long time ago. Maybe then, Jane wouldn't be..." she pauses, as if searching for the right word.
"...if Roza and Liliya hadn't come, she might have starved to death," Carole says. "And I know it's not a huge deal, babies die all the time, but Annie was so happy to have a little sister and..." Her face crumples.
You stand in silence for a moment. Rubia, fortunately, saves you from having to respond to Carole's extremely dark statement.
"Look," she says, putting her hands on Carole's shoulders and staring into her eyes. She seems to be collecting her thoughts.
This is happening because Carole grew up in a world like this. Anywhere else, anywhere modern, she wouldn't have to worry about babies dying or children starving. But here, she does. Here… the little girl that livened up your life, getting into everything, has turned into a teenager who thinks that's normal. That has never known anything different.
Rubia is having trouble even thinking of what to say, enough so that you catch another fleeting impulse of her powers, still right at the noise threshold. A plea for help from Fu Hua, maybe? It's aimed...somewhere. Well, you'll never understand Herrscher powers.
"...Look," she says again, hands clenching on Carole's shoulders. "You're right. It happens all the time. But that doesn't make it–" She shakes her head. "That doesn't make it not a big deal. That doesn't mean you're wrong for wanting it to stop. Anyone who's weak, who can't defend themselves— Why shouldn't we help them?"
"But–" Carole says, tears trailing down her face. "But what if we can't? We can't save everyone, right? I mean, you can't be everywhere! I thought... if I called you..."
She looks down, and you can tell she's really struggling now.
'I thought, if I called you, I'd take you away from what you were doing.' That's what you think Carole wanted to say, only, Rubia's instant response makes it clear that she wouldn't have. What's distance, to someone who can teleport?
If they weren't here it's because Carole didn't want them, but that doesn't make her wrong. Rubia could have come here, yes. Saved this village. So can you. But– and that's what's been bothering you–
"How many people live outside this village?" you whisper. Vel jerks around to look at you.
There's silence for a moment, as you all consider what to say. Vel stares at you, then at Carole, eyes slightly wide.
"We save the people we can," Rubia says, her voice placid. "Better to save someone than no-one. Better to save my family than to leave you here alone. You've got to know that, Carole. It's why you called me here."
Vel opens her mouth to say something, but closes it again. Then she nods.
"That's not what I meant," Carole says, voice firm now as she stands up straight. Her eyes flick over to Roza, who nods encouragingly at her. "What I meant was, there are so many people who need help. So many villages in danger. I thought…"
"Um. Just how many villages are there around here?" you ask, slightly alarmed. "How many people are we talking about?"
"Thousands," Carole says. "Just within three days' walk. Maybe more. There used to be half a dozen small kingdoms nestled around the portal, but the elders wiped them out decades ago. There's still a dozen or so villages, though. If we don't do something..."
"What's this 'we'?" Rubia snarks. "It was always a given that I'd take care of it. All you have to do is watch how awesome I've gotten." Then, her voice softens. "And you look dead tired, sis. We'll do this. I promise. The rest of us will take care of this, and you'll help once you're back on your feet."
"And… then what?" Carole whispers, her voice barely audible. "What about next time?"
"We'll beat back the Honkai," Roza says. "Keep this place safe. And..."
"And then..." She trails off.
"And then we give them their own powers," Vel says. The entire room, you included, turn to look at her. "...what?" she says defensively. "If you really want to save them all? Give them powers."
Um.
She shrugs at your raised eyebrow, pulling her legs up under herself and floating mid-air. Vel puts her hand to her chin, attempting to look wise.
"Wha-" Carole barely manages to get out, before Vel cuts her off.
"It's true!" She says, pointing at the machinery lining the room. There's a microscope, a gas lamp, a telescope, wooden contraptions of various sorts which you wouldn't want to guess the purpose of, and some sort of metallic rod that's about as thick as a broomstick but twice the length. She continues, laughter in her voice. "Look around you! You remember at least a little about the Hyperion, right? And you were living with Einstein, weren't you?"
She makes an expansive gesture, one which you instantly know she's copied from Rozaliya. It looks every bit as silly on her as it does on your other sisters.
"All these inventions. These aren't ordinary inventions! They have the power to make everyone equal!" Vel says, her voice taking on a slightly poetic tone. "Where we come from, children didn't die. Not to something as stupid as starvation, and not to sickness or disease either. Where we come from, everyone had enough food, everyone had a home, and no one ever went uncared for."
"Okay. A slight exaggeration, evil-Seele," Rubia says, then blinks as you goggle at her. "What? She's your evil twin, obviously. It's a little unsettling hearing her talk. I thought all she did was laugh maniacally."
"That's–" Vel blushes. "We've talked!"
"When?"
"That's—" She blushes harder. "I looked like See– Not relevant. The point is!" Vel pouts, sticking her nose up in the air. "Seele's the only one allowed to call me evil!"
She sticks her tongue out. While you've seen Vel act abrasive, childish and get angry, you've never seen her do something so immature. It's kind of refreshing.
"Thus demonstrating that Seele's the intelligent twin," Liliya says, giggling. When all of you look at her, she shrugs. "What? I'm not allowed to make a joke?"
Vel rolls her eyes, then smiles at her.
"I'm being serious," she says. "It's not easy, but– Seele and me? We're nearly as powerful as Rubia, and that's not because we're special. Maybe we're a little better at this than average…" Her mouth twitches. You're not sure if you want to laugh or cry. This is the most impractical idea. But it's Vel's, so you'll play along.
"But there's a dozen children just like us on the Hyperion, who might grow up to be just as strong once they've learned how, and we can teach them. There's nothing unusual about them. They're just children. That's what science does, Carole. That's why Einstein likes it. So maybe the stigmatas aren't fully done yet. They're still… machines, to bring us to the level of gods."
Her face is still red. She's not used to the attention. You flick her earlobe, making her twist her head, and give her a quick hug—she deserves that. Still… it wouldn't work.
"That's what Kevin wanted," you mentally tell her. "You know it doesn't work that way. Most children with stigmata just die."
"Doesn't mean he was wrong," Vel shoots back. "It just wasn't done yet. There's a lot more time now. Maybe he'd…"
She trails off, her eyes growing distant. So do yours. A matter for later.
"You think he'd be more patient now?" you ask.
"I really hate how that turned out," she tells you. "He was a nice guy, when he wasn't manipulating us. It's not like he wanted to hurt either you or Bronya, for that matter."
"He still did," you say.
"He cared more about the war than us."
Vel sighs, and you squeeze her hand.
"Well, anyway," Rubia says, turning serious again. "Teach them science. Sure, that's a long-term fix, and it's something Einstein was planning for. But we need a short term one, too. Seele, Rozaliya and Liliya—you haven't grown a millimetre, so I suppose Einstein was right and time is distorted here. We were planning to return as heroes in a century or so, so if you're here already, I assume it's for a more urgent reason than searching for her..?"
She zeroes in on you as she's saying that, and you feel oddly transparent. You'd think she was reading your mind, except you're the literal only person she can't do that to. You and Vel.
"I won't say she'd protest," Rubia says. "Einstein has been out of her mind with worry about you for most of the six years we've been here. She's been running herself ragged trying to understand the nature of this place, and…" Her expression shifts again, to something a little tired. "When Hua told her you're still alive, she just sat down and started crying. Don't worry. I didn't tell her you've been having malevolent conversations with your demon shadow."
She's snarking again. Ruby, it seems, has turned into the sort of person who can't stay serious for five seconds. And–
And–
You waver, almost falling. Roza catches you, her eyes wide and scared for a second, then immediately replaced with a smile. You squeeze her hand thankfully. Einstein is–
She's... here. She's fine, apparently.
You draw a deep breath. No, you don't cry. You don't feel like crying. You just… breathe, for a while. You tell yourself it's because it means you've succeeded in Theresa's mission for you.
...even if it's a lie.
"Right," you say, after brushing away a few tears. "Tesla sent me. The Hyperion's still okay, but she needs Einstein's help if it's going to stay that way. I..." You hesitate. This feels uncomfortably like giving orders, and you guess that's what it is. "Theresa didn't give me a timeframe, just ASAP. The time warp is going to make everything easier, but... how far away are they? How soon can she get here?"
You look away. You bite your lip, hard. It's almost an effort to not begin crying again. Why are you so…
Rubia rests her hand on yours.
"Not that far," she says. "Just… we found something strange, and got trapped. There's an entire underworld of these bubble universes, all linked up, and… hmm. Einstein says they're four phase shifts away from here. Does that mean anything to you? It'll take…" Her eyes flicker a little. "Two or three weeks to get back here. At most. I promise; I'll go get them if I have to. The situation's a little fraught, but we can get here if we have to."
"It means… it means she's making up terms." You half sob, half laugh. "Should I guess that the Hyperion is half a phase shift away?"
Rubia's eyes flicker again, then she nods.
"Okay," you say. "Okay. That's... good. There's… there's also a Honkai wave incoming. You probably noticed. The four of us can deal with it, but it'd be great having you here to help."
Your voice cracks a bit. You continue, "Is there anything I can do to help them return? You said they're connected, how–"
All of a sudden, it's blindingly obvious. The portal's 'altar'. Someone built that. The 'old ones'. Someone came here. Maybe the portal itself, even...
Someone built this in the first place. Something with intelligence, something likely not from this universe. And you have a connection to it. You could feel it, when you came here, like a distant memory of a dream you've never had, but which is nonetheless etched into your soul. You're connected to this place, somehow.
That doesn't make the slightest bit of sense. You're losing it. Maybe the loneliness is finally starting to get to you. All you can do is hope Bronya wakes up soon...
Hoping doesn't make anything happen, though. While the thought of adventure, of facing whatever Rubia is talking about excites you, common sense takes over. You spent half-conscious decades wandering through bubbles less real than this one, and you spent them nearly alone. You were so lucky to have Veliona. You'd have lost your mind if it wasn't for her and Kevin. You can't push your luck. You made it out of there. You're never going back, not to that world of nothing at all. You wouldn't be able to handle it.
And so you offer your help, but your face, your body language betray you. You look like a frightened little girl, afraid of the dark, afraid of being alone.
Rubia spots it all, of course. She's got a good intuition for people, she's clever, and she has all of Fu Hua's experience to fall back on.
She sighs, and looks you in the eyes. She says, "We'll be okay, Seele. I'm actually being honest here. It'd take you just as long to find us as it'll take us to get home, and... besides, you'd have to bring Carole along. Even if you're with her, she could get herself killed. I think you know that. So, wait for us in the village, and–"
She smiles.
"In less than a month, you'll see your teacher again. In the meantime, I'll come back here whenever they make camp. It'll discharge the feather, but Rozaliya and Liliya can charge it, right? I'd do it, but…" She laughs. "I'm still not as good at it as Hua.."
"Sure!' Roza chirps, then grins. "I've been trying something new. Watch this."
She reaches out her hand, and a red light forms in the middle of it. It grows, then takes shape.
"I made a heart!" she says proudly, holding up her palm to show off a pink blob.
Liliya makes a face. "Not very realistic."
"Sure it is! You're mean!"
It looks like nothing so much as a pink glob of paint, one which Roza promptly splashes all over Liliya. It dissipates a few seconds later, leaving her none the worse for the wear except–
"Roza idiotka!" Liliya says, blushing. "I'm not that– I mean, you– Aaagh!"
Liliya stomps off, leaving Roza to scramble after her. She catches up after a few meters, and a quiet but intense discussion ends with Roza hugging Lili, who's still as red as a tomato.
You look on in bemusement. You're not sure what that was all about, and you're not sure you want to know. It's an interesting use of honkai energy, Seele… leave it at that. As they bicker, you take another look at Rubia.
Two deep red eyes, a roundish face with a small, thin nose and dark red hair. She looks less like Fu Hua's identical twin than she did the last time you saw her, and less like a Herrscher, too, but she looks more like... herself? Is that the word?
She likes switching up her looks. That doesn't matter right now. You nod to her, and she smiles back.
"Tell Einstein I..."
You hesitate. What can you say to your teacher? Tell her that you miss her? You've only known her a little over two years. But she's been so kind to you, and helped you so much. You feel like you should... do something.
"Tell her I want to help her research."
Now it's Rubia's turn to pause. "... Okay," she says, a laugh in her voice. "I'll tell her you said that. She wants Roza to give you a hug for her, by the way."
You blink. "She does?"
"She does."
You nod, even though it's a futile gesture given the situation. Silence hangs in the air for a moment, before you speak up again.
"I'm… I'm an idiot," you say. "Give her a hug for me, will you? And tell her--"
Rubia grins. Liliya pounces.
"–wah!"
Your little sister pins you to the ground and holds you down, smiling. Then she gives you a big hug.
"That was pitiful," she says, rolling off you. "I'm disappointed in you."
"Sorry," you say, not really meaning it. In truth, you love every second of this. Roza, wandering over, pats your head and gives you a smile.
"Tell Einstein Seele's sorry," she says, "and that she should hug her more!"
"Right," Rubia says, chuckling. "I'll do that."
Her expression sobers.
"We have two or three hours before the Honkai beasts get here," she says. "I'd like to take a quick look around the village before then. Let the boss-man know I'm home, so to speak. Shore up the walls a little; if things have been as fraught as Carole said, they'll be fairly worn. Stone doesn't do much, but it'll at least buy a few seconds. Is there anything else you'd like to tell me first?"
You take a deep breath, and sit back to think. "That'll be in two or three hours. I…" Your expression crumples. "Yes. Can I ask you a question? Two, actually?"
Rubia hesitates for a second or two.
"...Of course. What's wrong?"
You gather your thoughts. There's no way around it; you can't not ask.
"I could wipe out every honkai beast in the Impact with just a little bit of effort," you admit, and Roza's eyes go wide at the proclamation. To her credit, she doesn't doubt you; not for a second. But... "If I don't mind wiping out the entire mountain range as well," you say. You take a deep breath. "That's not an option. I couldn't have done it in our own world, but… should I... should I have practiced harder? I could have..."
Rubia shakes her head. "No, Seele." She puts a hand on your shoulder. "I know you did the best you could. You're doing amazing, all things considering." She grins. "You really think you could destroy an entire mountain range?" You nod seriously, and she laughs. "Well... maybe it's a good thing you haven't tried, then! Don't worry too much about it. I don't think we'll need to resort to such measures."
"Okay," you say softly.
Her eyes narrow. "And your other question?"
You shift uneasily, then look inside yourself. There's a shining, ice-blue core in the center of your being, the safest spot you know. It's all that's left of Bronya. Your closest friend, your lover... you've long since stopped counting up everything she means to you.
"I'm s-sorry," you say, stuttering over your words as tears begin to well up in your eyes. "It's j-just..." Y-you shake your head. You can't even speak.
"Hey, what's wrong?" Rubia looks at you with genuine concern, and her voice carries much more warmth than you're used to hearing. Vel looks concerned as well.
"I'm sorry..." You bite your lip as the tears begin to spill down your face. "It's... I don't know why I..." You sniffle and take a deep breath, trying to calm yourself. "...Bronya's dead," you say.
The sentence sits like a lead weight in the room. Roza and Lili already knew, but Carole and Rubia didn't. And while Carole was too young to remember how much she meant to you, you can tell from Rubia's crestfallen expression that she knows exactly how hopelessly in love you were. You watch as her face contorts into a grimace, her brow furrowing.
"Fuck," she hisses through gritted teeth. She glances at Carole, then at you. "It was at the end of the world, wasn't it?"
You nod, trying not to lose control again.
"Yes," Vel says, her eyes angry. "Otto's stupid fucking plan..."
You shake your head. "We can't even remember the plan. I just..." You sniffle, your hands opening to reveal Bronya's core, exposed to open air for the first time in years. It shimmers and shines, illuminating the room with a deep blue glow. A perfect match for your own.
Carole lets out a gasp. Rubia blinks, expression going quizzical.
"I... I protected her core," you say. "After she di... died. Even though the sea tried to tear me apart. I..."
Your throat closes. You can't say anything else.
Vel puts her hand on your shoulder. "We thought maybe she could use it to resurrect," she says. "Like Welt. But it's been days, and it hasn't done anything at all. She..."
She trails off, and you look up to see tears streaming down her face.
"Vel," you say.
"I loved her," she says. "In my own way. Even before... Seele. You know the last few days have been a rollercoaster. Even before– Even before today, I was having trouble keeping up." She reaches out for the core, and you let her. Vel puts a single finger against it, as if in benediction. Her eyes glaze over.
She strains to continue, almost stuttering.
"When you... when you pulled yourself together. When you found Roz and Lils. Just now, when I met the– Things happened. And when you broke locking–" She almost smiles. "Most ridiculous thing you've ever done, sis, but I'm glad you did. It's like my head used to be stuck in a fog, and now it's not. Before, I couldn't recognize it. I know it was fun making fun of you two–" She places a second finger against the core. "But I didn't realise how much I loved her as well. Bronya's important. I want her back."
You bite your lip.
"I'm... not sure what to do," you admit.
Vel nods slowly, withdrawing her hand.
"Me neither," she says.
"Well, have you tried–" Rubia reaches out for the core, mid-sentence, and stops when you jerk back.
"Are you scared of me?" She tilts her head. "I don't mind if you are. I'm rather scary! But Seele, that core..."
She reaches out for it again, and this time you let her. She takes it in her hands, staring into it.
"It's out of energy," she tells you. "There's hardly a single drop left. Not enough to reconstruct a shoe, let alone a person. Did you keep her inside your stigmata?" You nod slowly. "That might be why. Your stigmata converts pure honkai energy into something you can use. Since you were touching the core directly, your body may have drained it dry. But I think that's good news."
You look at her, confusion plain on your face.
"How come?"
"Because there's no way that could have happened if she wasn't conscious enough to allow it, Seele. Your stigmata's capable, but it doesn't match up to a Herrscher core. She left herself just enough to keep going. That can't possibly be an accident."
"So she's alive?" You ask, eyes wide.
Rubia pauses.
"...Asleep," she says. "Probably. She'll wake up when the core's recharged, and that can't happen while you're holding on to it."
"...So she's alive."
Rubia has a complicated expression on her face. She takes a deep breath.
"...Probably. We'll find out once it's recharged. I'd do it, but..." She pats the core gingerly. "I'm not a hundred percent sure I could without integrating it."
"It's... it's alright," you say, your emotions all over the place. You were certain you'd never see her face again, let alone embrace her. Now you know it's possible, and that should be enough to put you at ease, but you're more scared than ever. What if she doesn't wake up? What if she isn't herself anymore? What if you never see her again?
You turn to Liliya, who's been watching you in silence the whole time.
"Take the core," you tell her.
"What?"
"I... I can't help Bronya," you tell her. "You can. I trust you, Liliya." Your voice is trembling a little, but your face is set in stone. "I trust you more than anyone. You can wake up our big sister. I can't, but you can."
Liliya is at a loss for words. She stares at you with tears in her eyes.
She misses Bronya every bit as much as you.
"I trust you," you tell her, and hand the core over to her. You wrap her hands around it, and then, as if in a daze, you walk back to Veliona. She hugs you, and you put your head on her shoulder, sobbing quietly. She rubs your back to comfort you.
After a few minutes, you compose yourself. Vel looks at you, her eyes filled with concern.
"What... what happens now?" she asks.
"There's still an army incoming," you say. "And we should take a look at Pip and Annie's mother, like we promised. And Vel, I want to talk. Bronya will... will be okay. Liliya will keep her safe, right?"
"Yeah. I swear it," Liliya says, wiping tears from her eyes.
You nod heavily. She'll be okay. Bronya will be okay.
Rubia smiles, her eyes a little distant.
"See you soon, Seele. Be strong. I'll be back before that army gets here."
"Thanks, Ruby," you say. "For everything."
You take a deep breath.
"We should get to work."
= = =
[ ] …
I decided to split the update into two chapters. I don't believe much of anything needs to be decided here, but this is regardless a good place to stop. The next update should be along in not too much time.
If you're still confused about Roza's paint-blob, let's just say she gave Lili her heart.
Rubia, in canon, is all of a few weeks old. She has all of Fu Hua's memories, which is more than you could say for Fu Hua herself, but she lacks the maturity to go with them. It averages out at the girl acting approximately twelve, and that's when she's trying to act mature.
It's been eight years since then, her time. I doubt most of you are playing HI3, but I tried to get across Seele's surprise.
The drawing at the start was generated by Aphantasia, which is a neural network that's excellent at generating all sorts of (not so) slightly surrealistic drawings, though it doesn't match up to DALL-E at all. Unlike DALL-E, it's something you can play with right now. Click the link, fill in the "text:" field, then click runtime -> run all. I don't think I can make it any more foolproof than that.
Here's a few more...
If you generate more than one illustration, you don't need to re-run the setup cell. You also shouldn't. It takes forever.
Set save_freq to 10 to speed things up a little. Don't interrupt it too often; that makes it leak memory, and you'll eventually need to factory reset the runtime if you do so.
Experiment.
By all means post your results. This thread is about AI in general, not just the story.
Veliona might be okay with it too.
After all, Veliona doesn't exist.
ooOOoo
Carole disappears into her room, to—fetch a feather? Girl herself up? You don't know, except that after a few minutes she comes back out, pacing nervously back and forth for a little bit while muttering to herself.
A little while ago she was all fired up, but now? Now, the reality is sinking in, you guess. On some level, she knows she's messed up. She wouldn't have gotten to this point if she didn't.
"Carole–"
Roza moves to put a hand on her shoulder.
Whatever she's about to say is lost when Carole shakes her head, blinking tears out of her eyes. "I know," she says. "I know, alright? I'll call her in a minute. I just…"
Her voice trails off, and she bites her lip. You watch her helplessly for a while as she stares at the ground in front of her.
"Okay." Carole nods to herself, and raises her head to look at the rest of you. "I'll do it in a minute. I just need to let the chief know who you are."
Carole glances at Roza, who nods slightly. Carole leaves the house, and Roza sighs, running a hand through her hair.
"I wish Theresa were here," she says wistfully. "She'd know what to do."
"She's not," you say. "You are."
"Yeah…"
"Don't sell yourself short," you tell her. "If there's anyone I'd trust like this, it'd be you."
Roza smiles faintly at this, and twines her fingers together with yours. She leans her head against your shoulder, closing her eyes.
"It'll be okay," you say. "We're a team, right?"
She nods.
"We're a team," she says.
The situation's not so critical that it can't wait five minutes, but you're uncomfortably aware of the incoming swarm of honkai beasts, now perceptibly closer than when you first noticed them. You stand quietly together and wait for Carole to return. Liliya shortly joins you, leaning against her sister. You put an arm around the both of them, once again just taking comfort that they're there.
You know it's not healthy, but you've very little left except the two of them. It is what it is, you guess.
After a little while, Roza yawns.
It's times like these that your sisters mean the most to you. You aren't related, except in every way that matters. If you hadn't had Roza and Liliya, you don't know what you'd do. Be a wallflower, probably. Stuck in your room reading books, for now until eternity, unless somehow you'd still gone through X-10. In that case you'd just be trapped forever in your head, instead. Maybe Kevin would have helped get you out. You bet he would have.
Liliya and Roza are everything to you. If anything were to happen to them...
Your fist clenches, and even your stigmata spools up slightly. If anyone hurts them, they're dead. You're not letting that happen. You're simply not.
There's silence for a moment, before Roza yawns again. She turns to look at Veliona.
"Vel, do you..."
Your sister's not paying proper attention.
"I found a... snake, outside reality," she says, her voice distant. "Or maybe it was a dragon. I don't know. It's hard to be sure, when it's so far from home."
Veliona's eyes are unfocused, staring through Roza and Liliya. You gently touch her shoulder, and she startles.
"Vel," you say, softly. "It's me."
She blinks once or twice, before she realizes where she is. Her eyes meet yours for a moment, and she seems almost embarrassed.
"I... I'm sorry," she says. "I was just thinking about... stuff. Nevermind. It's silly."
"It can't be that silly," you say. "Please, tell us."
She sighs.
"I'm still working out what it was. I was thinking about my past," she says. "About… remember that idea you had, my 'host'? That we used to be the same person?"
You silently nod, and she looks tiredly up at you. You know, because her entire bearing has changed. She's slouching, and quiet; her speech is too slow, for someone who's always quick with her words. She isn't smiling.
"I want that to be true," she says. That's all she says. Roza opens her mouth, but Veliona looks away—back to the door, where Carole's showed back up, her expression now grim and determined.
The uncertainties she's going through have nothing to do with yours. You're glad she made up her mind, but right now you could hit her. She barely glances at you before going inside, pacing back and forth several times before drawing a deep breath and slapping her cheeks.
"Carole–" you say.
"I know!"
"Then call her," Roza says. "Fu Hua is one of the nicest, most understanding people I know. She won't shout at you, and she won't blame you, not if you speak frankly. Just let her know what's going on."
"It's not mom I'm worried about!" she whines, then slumps. "I'm calling. I'm calling."
It's not like you don't understand.
Carole's messed up. She's scared of her mother, parentheses question mark parentheses, which is a concept you understand all too well. Unlike you and Cocolia, however, there's no reason she should be scared. Carole's scared of getting a talking-to, of getting grounded, maybe even getting an extra-tough training session.
You were scared of being killed.
You know well enough that Cocolia loved you, that she loved all of you, yet somehow her brand of 'love' didn't stop her running experiments on you and your sisters. She stopped after you died, according to Roza, but Roza said that while rubbing her horn, and…
You stop that line of thought before it makes you cry. Those aren't really mother's fault. They'd have died, otherwise.
Except Roza only did something as desperately dangerous as going to the beach to cheer Liliya up, after mother had sent Bronya away from them, and…
Stop.
It's helpful that you're already holding Roza's hand. Your fingers tremble, but she's there, already calming you.
Carole's scared. You were scared too, for different reasons, but you were still scared. You never failed your mother; she's the one who failed you and Bronya. Is that better, or worse? Should you be thankful to her for at least treating your littlest sisters right, or angry that she couldn't get her act together sooner?
"Call her," you tell Carole.
She looks your way, and you continue, your voice heavy with emotion.
"You're scared. I get that. But you promised you would, and you know she loves you. She'd never hurt you, or anyone you loved. You said you'd call her. And you promised."
"But–"
"We don't have a ton of time," you say, and it's enough. She gulps, nodding.
She sits back and closes her eyes. You don't know what you should have been expecting from a magical telepathic feather—she'd do it all in her head, maybe?—but that's not what happens. You watch as her face twists into different emotions. Fear. Anger. Sadness. Joy? Finally, she opens her mouth.
"Hi, mom," she says, in a tiny voice.
You strive to listen in, but however this works, you only get Carole's side of the conversation.
"Yeah, it's me!" Carole says, a little louder. "I miss you. I…"
For a few seconds she doesn't say anything, and it's only by her expression—tired at first, then more and more pained—that you have any idea how the conversation is going.
You notice a tiny teardrop hit the ground. You continue to watch as the girl breaks down.
"I—I tried, mom."
"After you left." Roza looks like she wants to say something, while Carole continues. "The trolls kept coming. At first, I was able to kill them. But there were more and more each day. We had to retreat closer and closer to the village. Now, they've taken over everything. They're everywhere. We can't tend the fields, I can barely go hunting, and they're always there, just outside the village, keeping us trapped. I tried, mom. I'm sorry."
Her voice is tiny and meek, and you can barely stand to watch. Your hand twitches as you realise you want to give her a reassuring touch. But you can't. She's not Liliya; she doesn't know you. She wouldn't appreciate it.
"Let's–" Roza says, and you nod, getting up to leave. You don't want to watch this. You have questions for Veliona, anyhow.
There's a workshop, and it's empty. You step inside, noting in passing that Isaac and Tomoyo also are leaving the room. There's even a door, which is something Annie's house didn't have.
You close it.
"Everyone's starving," Carole says, her voice somewhat muffled now. She's forging on as if she's trying to self-flagellate with the words, and you stand around awkwardly, looking around for something to distract yourself. Just like the main living room, most of what's here is made of wood—but there's a couple of nanotech tools which Einstein apparently left behind. Nothing like a general constructor, or you imagine the village would look rather different. Lili has one in her backpack.
"We haven't had anything but potatoes for a month, and there's no more left–"
You hear sobs, and then your senses light up like a fireworks display, screaming at you about extreme honkai levels in the other room. You open the door a crack, spotting what you were half suspecting—Rubia, the reddish light of her "teleportation" still hanging around her like a mantle for a few seconds after she's appeared. And Carole flinches backwards.
"I'm sorry," she says, between sniffles. "I tried my best."
It shouldn't have come as a surprise to her when Ruby doesn't launch into a scolding, but somehow it does. Instead she steps forward and gently, inevitably, draws Carole into her arms like one might a small, wounded animal.
Carole collapses into the hug with a sob, tears falling freely now.
You close the door again.
ooOOoo
"There, there, Carole. You'll be fine," Rubia says, rubbing her back and running one hand through her short hair to help her calm. Her eyes flicker around the room, briefly fixing on the workshop door, before she focuses on her sister. "I'm here now. I'll take care of everything."
If you were there, you'd have stared at them in wonder. Since you're listening through the wall you can't do so, but the wall doesn't really block your senses, and neither, you suspect, does it block Rubia's. She looks precisely at where Roza is, before returning to Carole.
Vel looks up at you, a question in her eyes. You shrug in response, and she gives you a wry smile, resigning herself to observing the scene.
"Shh," the former incarnation of ruin tells her possibly niece, or little sister, or something along those lines. "It's okay. Don't worry."
"They're starving," Carole sobs, hiccuping slightly. "Jane nearly died, and I couldn't do anything. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I tried my best."
"I know," Rubia says, rubbing Carole's back soothingly. "You did your best. That's all we ever asked of you, Carole. It's over now. I'm here."
The sheer implausibility of the scene makes your head ache.
You never thought you'd see the day when you saw Rubia offer comfort to anyone. It's almost surreal. She's changed a lot since the first time you saw her, yes, but–
Most of your memories of her are from when Kiana dragged her into the light, instead of letting her sulk in imaginary space, but a lot of the change was in accepting that she wasn't Fu Hua. Even a week ago she was still basically that child. A clever child, with far too much knowledge for her own good, but she acted about as mature as Rozaliya usually did. Unlike Roza, you don't think it was an act.
That didn't make her a bad person. She spent a lot of her time playing games with Sora and the other children, when she wasn't having far too much fun fighting the Honkai, and you remember how Rubia loved to hear laughter.
It's still a far cry from the woman who's comforting Carole now, and that hammers home that it's been six years for them. Everyone changes. You can hardly remember the Seele from six years ago, but you think she was happy, with her family and her mother–
You can't tell if that's rose-tinted glasses, or the cold, cruel truth of reality.
Vel looks at you with a wan smile, taking your hand in hers and squeezing it reassuringly. You squeeze back, a silent gesture of gratitude, and the four of you stand around, more or less awkwardly, until Carole's tears have largely died down. You'd have preferred to let them be on their own, but…
Time.
You open the door, addressing Rubia.
"Hi, Ruby," you say, waving a little. "It's been a while. How's life?"
She looks up, eyes wide. Wow. Surprising her is practically impossible; she must have been really preoccupied with Carole.
"Seele… Seele?" she asks, her deep red eyes widening in surprise. "It's… really you. I thought you'd–"
"In the flesh," you say. "Or whatever this is. Last time I saw you, you weren't…"
"Grown-up?" Rubia laughs. She keeps on trying to comfort Carole, but the girl breaks away, blushing fiercely. Rubia turns her attention to you, still looking surprised. "Hua kept saying you'd all be amazed to see me. So no, I suppose not. It's been six years, Seele. Six years since the world ended. It was… hard, at first. But, as you can see, we're all doing fine."
"Last time I saw you, you'd have exploded at me for calling you childish," you say, smiling weakly.
"Last time I saw you, you wouldn't have dared. People change." She shrugs, looking at Carole. "It's a long story. I'll show you sometime when my little sister isn't being all depressed and stuff. Give me a second. I need to let Fu Hua know you're here."
Carole glares at her older sister, then looks away. She gives a small sigh, her blonde hair falling into her eyes. Rubia goes still for a moment, and you feel Honkai energy surge around her for a moment, red lightning framing her in a fleeting corona. Something flickers out from her, just above your stigmata's sensor threshold, and it takes you a moment to recognise it. You lose the vector of the communications burst swiftly, but you know what it is.
"I wanted your help," Carole says, her tired voice meant for Rubia, who acknowledges her with a twitch. "I've been hoping you'd come back for months now, but I realised when I called you that I should've done it a long time ago. Maybe then, Jane wouldn't be..." she pauses, as if searching for the right word.
"...if Roza and Liliya hadn't come, she might have starved to death," Carole says. "And I know it's not a huge deal, babies die all the time, but Annie was so happy to have a little sister and..." Her face crumples.
You stand in silence for a moment. Rubia, fortunately, saves you from having to respond to Carole's extremely dark statement.
"Look," she says, putting her hands on Carole's shoulders and staring into her eyes. She seems to be collecting her thoughts.
This is happening because Carole grew up in a world like this. Anywhere else, anywhere modern, she wouldn't have to worry about babies dying or children starving. But here, she does. Here… the little girl that livened up your life, getting into everything, has turned into a teenager who thinks that's normal. That has never known anything different.
Rubia is having trouble even thinking of what to say, enough so that you catch another fleeting impulse of her powers, still right at the noise threshold. A plea for help from Fu Hua, maybe? It's aimed...somewhere. Well, you'll never understand Herrscher powers.
"...Look," she says again, hands clenching on Carole's shoulders. "You're right. It happens all the time. But that doesn't make it–" She shakes her head. "That doesn't make it not a big deal. That doesn't mean you're wrong for wanting it to stop. Anyone who's weak, who can't defend themselves— Why shouldn't we help them?"
"But–" Carole says, tears trailing down her face. "But what if we can't? We can't save everyone, right? I mean, you can't be everywhere! I thought... if I called you..."
She looks down, and you can tell she's really struggling now.
'I thought, if I called you, I'd take you away from what you were doing.' That's what you think Carole wanted to say, only, Rubia's instant response makes it clear that she wouldn't have. What's distance, to someone who can teleport?
If they weren't here it's because Carole didn't want them, but that doesn't make her wrong. Rubia could have come here, yes. Saved this village. So can you. But– and that's what's been bothering you–
"How many people live outside this village?" you whisper. Vel jerks around to look at you.
There's silence for a moment, as you all consider what to say. Vel stares at you, then at Carole, eyes slightly wide.
"We save the people we can," Rubia says, her voice placid. "Better to save someone than no-one. Better to save my family than to leave you here alone. You've got to know that, Carole. It's why you called me here."
Vel opens her mouth to say something, but closes it again. Then she nods.
"That's not what I meant," Carole says, voice firm now as she stands up straight. Her eyes flick over to Roza, who nods encouragingly at her. "What I meant was, there are so many people who need help. So many villages in danger. I thought…"
"Um. Just how many villages are there around here?" you ask, slightly alarmed. "How many people are we talking about?"
"Thousands," Carole says. "Just within three days' walk. Maybe more. There used to be half a dozen small kingdoms nestled around the portal, but the elders wiped them out decades ago. There's still a dozen or so villages, though. If we don't do something..."
"What's this 'we'?" Rubia snarks. "It was always a given that I'd take care of it. All you have to do is watch how awesome I've gotten." Then, her voice softens. "And you look dead tired, sis. We'll do this. I promise. The rest of us will take care of this, and you'll help once you're back on your feet."
"And… then what?" Carole whispers, her voice barely audible. "What about next time?"
"We'll beat back the Honkai," Roza says. "Keep this place safe. And..."
"And then..." She trails off.
"And then we give them their own powers," Vel says. The entire room, you included, turn to look at her. "...what?" she says defensively. "If you really want to save them all? Give them powers."
Um.
She shrugs at your raised eyebrow, pulling her legs up under herself and floating mid-air. Vel puts her hand to her chin, attempting to look wise.
"Wha-" Carole barely manages to get out, before Vel cuts her off.
"It's true!" She says, pointing at the machinery lining the room. There's a microscope, a gas lamp, a telescope, wooden contraptions of various sorts which you wouldn't want to guess the purpose of, and some sort of metallic rod that's about as thick as a broomstick but twice the length. She continues, laughter in her voice. "Look around you! You remember at least a little about the Hyperion, right? And you were living with Einstein, weren't you?"
She makes an expansive gesture, one which you instantly know she's copied from Rozaliya. It looks every bit as silly on her as it does on your other sisters.
"All these inventions. These aren't ordinary inventions! They have the power to make everyone equal!" Vel says, her voice taking on a slightly poetic tone. "Where we come from, children didn't die. Not to something as stupid as starvation, and not to sickness or disease either. Where we come from, everyone had enough food, everyone had a home, and no one ever went uncared for."
"Okay. A slight exaggeration, evil-Seele," Rubia says, then blinks as you goggle at her. "What? She's your evil twin, obviously. It's a little unsettling hearing her talk. I thought all she did was laugh maniacally."
"That's–" Vel blushes. "We've talked!"
"When?"
"That's—" She blushes harder. "I looked like See– Not relevant. The point is!" Vel pouts, sticking her nose up in the air. "Seele's the only one allowed to call me evil!"
She sticks her tongue out. While you've seen Vel act abrasive, childish and get angry, you've never seen her do something so immature. It's kind of refreshing.
"Thus demonstrating that Seele's the intelligent twin," Liliya says, giggling. When all of you look at her, she shrugs. "What? I'm not allowed to make a joke?"
Vel rolls her eyes, then smiles at her.
"I'm being serious," she says. "It's not easy, but– Seele and me? We're nearly as powerful as Rubia, and that's not because we're special. Maybe we're a little better at this than average…" Her mouth twitches. You're not sure if you want to laugh or cry. This is the most impractical idea. But it's Vel's, so you'll play along.
"But there's a dozen children just like us on the Hyperion, who might grow up to be just as strong once they've learned how, and we can teach them. There's nothing unusual about them. They're just children. That's what science does, Carole. That's why Einstein likes it. So maybe the stigmatas aren't fully done yet. They're still… machines, to bring us to the level of gods."
Her face is still red. She's not used to the attention. You flick her earlobe, making her twist her head, and give her a quick hug—she deserves that. Still… it wouldn't work.
"That's what Kevin wanted," you mentally tell her. "You know it doesn't work that way. Most children with stigmata just die."
"Doesn't mean he was wrong," Vel shoots back. "It just wasn't done yet. There's a lot more time now. Maybe he'd…"
She trails off, her eyes growing distant. So do yours. A matter for later.
"You think he'd be more patient now?" you ask.
"I really hate how that turned out," she tells you. "He was a nice guy, when he wasn't manipulating us. It's not like he wanted to hurt either you or Bronya, for that matter."
"He still did," you say.
"He cared more about the war than us."
Vel sighs, and you squeeze her hand.
"Well, anyway," Rubia says, turning serious again. "Teach them science. Sure, that's a long-term fix, and it's something Einstein was planning for. But we need a short term one, too. Seele, Rozaliya and Liliya—you haven't grown a millimetre, so I suppose Einstein was right and time is distorted here. We were planning to return as heroes in a century or so, so if you're here already, I assume it's for a more urgent reason than searching for her..?"
She zeroes in on you as she's saying that, and you feel oddly transparent. You'd think she was reading your mind, except you're the literal only person she can't do that to. You and Vel.
"I won't say she'd protest," Rubia says. "Einstein has been out of her mind with worry about you for most of the six years we've been here. She's been running herself ragged trying to understand the nature of this place, and…" Her expression shifts again, to something a little tired. "When Hua told her you're still alive, she just sat down and started crying. Don't worry. I didn't tell her you've been having malevolent conversations with your demon shadow."
She's snarking again. Ruby, it seems, has turned into the sort of person who can't stay serious for five seconds. And–
And–
You waver, almost falling. Roza catches you, her eyes wide and scared for a second, then immediately replaced with a smile. You squeeze her hand thankfully. Einstein is–
She's... here. She's fine, apparently.
You draw a deep breath. No, you don't cry. You don't feel like crying. You just… breathe, for a while. You tell yourself it's because it means you've succeeded in Theresa's mission for you.
...even if it's a lie.
"Right," you say, after brushing away a few tears. "Tesla sent me. The Hyperion's still okay, but she needs Einstein's help if it's going to stay that way. I..." You hesitate. This feels uncomfortably like giving orders, and you guess that's what it is. "Theresa didn't give me a timeframe, just ASAP. The time warp is going to make everything easier, but... how far away are they? How soon can she get here?"
You look away. You bite your lip, hard. It's almost an effort to not begin crying again. Why are you so…
Rubia rests her hand on yours.
"Not that far," she says. "Just… we found something strange, and got trapped. There's an entire underworld of these bubble universes, all linked up, and… hmm. Einstein says they're four phase shifts away from here. Does that mean anything to you? It'll take…" Her eyes flicker a little. "Two or three weeks to get back here. At most. I promise; I'll go get them if I have to. The situation's a little fraught, but we can get here if we have to."
"It means… it means she's making up terms." You half sob, half laugh. "Should I guess that the Hyperion is half a phase shift away?"
Rubia's eyes flicker again, then she nods.
"Okay," you say. "Okay. That's... good. There's… there's also a Honkai wave incoming. You probably noticed. The four of us can deal with it, but it'd be great having you here to help."
Your voice cracks a bit. You continue, "Is there anything I can do to help them return? You said they're connected, how–"
All of a sudden, it's blindingly obvious. The portal's 'altar'. Someone built that. The 'old ones'. Someone came here. Maybe the portal itself, even...
Someone built this in the first place. Something with intelligence, something likely not from this universe. And you have a connection to it. You could feel it, when you came here, like a distant memory of a dream you've never had, but which is nonetheless etched into your soul. You're connected to this place, somehow.
That doesn't make the slightest bit of sense. You're losing it. Maybe the loneliness is finally starting to get to you. All you can do is hope Bronya wakes up soon...
Hoping doesn't make anything happen, though. While the thought of adventure, of facing whatever Rubia is talking about excites you, common sense takes over. You spent half-conscious decades wandering through bubbles less real than this one, and you spent them nearly alone. You were so lucky to have Veliona. You'd have lost your mind if it wasn't for her and Kevin. You can't push your luck. You made it out of there. You're never going back, not to that world of nothing at all. You wouldn't be able to handle it.
And so you offer your help, but your face, your body language betray you. You look like a frightened little girl, afraid of the dark, afraid of being alone.
Rubia spots it all, of course. She's got a good intuition for people, she's clever, and she has all of Fu Hua's experience to fall back on.
She sighs, and looks you in the eyes. She says, "We'll be okay, Seele. I'm actually being honest here. It'd take you just as long to find us as it'll take us to get home, and... besides, you'd have to bring Carole along. Even if you're with her, she could get herself killed. I think you know that. So, wait for us in the village, and–"
She smiles.
"In less than a month, you'll see your teacher again. In the meantime, I'll come back here whenever they make camp. It'll discharge the feather, but Rozaliya and Liliya can charge it, right? I'd do it, but…" She laughs. "I'm still not as good at it as Hua.."
"Sure!' Roza chirps, then grins. "I've been trying something new. Watch this."
She reaches out her hand, and a red light forms in the middle of it. It grows, then takes shape.
"I made a heart!" she says proudly, holding up her palm to show off a pink blob.
Liliya makes a face. "Not very realistic."
"Sure it is! You're mean!"
It looks like nothing so much as a pink glob of paint, one which Roza promptly splashes all over Liliya. It dissipates a few seconds later, leaving her none the worse for the wear except–
"Roza idiotka!" Liliya says, blushing. "I'm not that– I mean, you– Aaagh!"
Liliya stomps off, leaving Roza to scramble after her. She catches up after a few meters, and a quiet but intense discussion ends with Roza hugging Lili, who's still as red as a tomato.
You look on in bemusement. You're not sure what that was all about, and you're not sure you want to know. It's an interesting use of honkai energy, Seele… leave it at that. As they bicker, you take another look at Rubia.
Two deep red eyes, a roundish face with a small, thin nose and dark red hair. She looks less like Fu Hua's identical twin than she did the last time you saw her, and less like a Herrscher, too, but she looks more like... herself? Is that the word?
She likes switching up her looks. That doesn't matter right now. You nod to her, and she smiles back.
"Tell Einstein I..."
You hesitate. What can you say to your teacher? Tell her that you miss her? You've only known her a little over two years. But she's been so kind to you, and helped you so much. You feel like you should... do something.
"Tell her I want to help her research."
Now it's Rubia's turn to pause. "... Okay," she says, a laugh in her voice. "I'll tell her you said that. She wants Roza to give you a hug for her, by the way."
You blink. "She does?"
"She does."
You nod, even though it's a futile gesture given the situation. Silence hangs in the air for a moment, before you speak up again.
"I'm… I'm an idiot," you say. "Give her a hug for me, will you? And tell her--"
Rubia grins. Liliya pounces.
"–wah!"
Your little sister pins you to the ground and holds you down, smiling. Then she gives you a big hug.
"That was pitiful," she says, rolling off you. "I'm disappointed in you."
"Sorry," you say, not really meaning it. In truth, you love every second of this. Roza, wandering over, pats your head and gives you a smile.
"Tell Einstein Seele's sorry," she says, "and that she should hug her more!"
"Right," Rubia says, chuckling. "I'll do that."
Her expression sobers.
"We have two or three hours before the Honkai beasts get here," she says. "I'd like to take a quick look around the village before then. Let the boss-man know I'm home, so to speak. Shore up the walls a little; if things have been as fraught as Carole said, they'll be fairly worn. Stone doesn't do much, but it'll at least buy a few seconds. Is there anything else you'd like to tell me first?"
You take a deep breath, and sit back to think. "That'll be in two or three hours. I…" Your expression crumples. "Yes. Can I ask you a question? Two, actually?"
Rubia hesitates for a second or two.
"...Of course. What's wrong?"
You gather your thoughts. There's no way around it; you can't not ask.
"I could wipe out every honkai beast in the Impact with just a little bit of effort," you admit, and Roza's eyes go wide at the proclamation. To her credit, she doesn't doubt you; not for a second. But... "If I don't mind wiping out the entire mountain range as well," you say. You take a deep breath. "That's not an option. I couldn't have done it in our own world, but… should I... should I have practiced harder? I could have..."
Rubia shakes her head. "No, Seele." She puts a hand on your shoulder. "I know you did the best you could. You're doing amazing, all things considering." She grins. "You really think you could destroy an entire mountain range?" You nod seriously, and she laughs. "Well... maybe it's a good thing you haven't tried, then! Don't worry too much about it. I don't think we'll need to resort to such measures."
"Okay," you say softly.
Her eyes narrow. "And your other question?"
You shift uneasily, then look inside yourself. There's a shining, ice-blue core in the center of your being, the safest spot you know. It's all that's left of Bronya. Your closest friend, your lover... you've long since stopped counting up everything she means to you.
"I'm s-sorry," you say, stuttering over your words as tears begin to well up in your eyes. "It's j-just..." Y-you shake your head. You can't even speak.
"Hey, what's wrong?" Rubia looks at you with genuine concern, and her voice carries much more warmth than you're used to hearing. Vel looks concerned as well.
"I'm sorry..." You bite your lip as the tears begin to spill down your face. "It's... I don't know why I..." You sniffle and take a deep breath, trying to calm yourself. "...Bronya's dead," you say.
The sentence sits like a lead weight in the room. Roza and Lili already knew, but Carole and Rubia didn't. And while Carole was too young to remember how much she meant to you, you can tell from Rubia's crestfallen expression that she knows exactly how hopelessly in love you were. You watch as her face contorts into a grimace, her brow furrowing.
"Fuck," she hisses through gritted teeth. She glances at Carole, then at you. "It was at the end of the world, wasn't it?"
You nod, trying not to lose control again.
"Yes," Vel says, her eyes angry. "Otto's stupid fucking plan..."
You shake your head. "We can't even remember the plan. I just..." You sniffle, your hands opening to reveal Bronya's core, exposed to open air for the first time in years. It shimmers and shines, illuminating the room with a deep blue glow. A perfect match for your own.
Carole lets out a gasp. Rubia blinks, expression going quizzical.
"I... I protected her core," you say. "After she di... died. Even though the sea tried to tear me apart. I..."
Your throat closes. You can't say anything else.
Vel puts her hand on your shoulder. "We thought maybe she could use it to resurrect," she says. "Like Welt. But it's been days, and it hasn't done anything at all. She..."
She trails off, and you look up to see tears streaming down her face.
"Vel," you say.
"I loved her," she says. "In my own way. Even before... Seele. You know the last few days have been a rollercoaster. Even before– Even before today, I was having trouble keeping up." She reaches out for the core, and you let her. Vel puts a single finger against it, as if in benediction. Her eyes glaze over.
She strains to continue, almost stuttering.
"When you... when you pulled yourself together. When you found Roz and Lils. Just now, when I met the– Things happened. And when you broke locking–" She almost smiles. "Most ridiculous thing you've ever done, sis, but I'm glad you did. It's like my head used to be stuck in a fog, and now it's not. Before, I couldn't recognize it. I know it was fun making fun of you two–" She places a second finger against the core. "But I didn't realise how much I loved her as well. Bronya's important. I want her back."
You bite your lip.
"I'm... not sure what to do," you admit.
Vel nods slowly, withdrawing her hand.
"Me neither," she says.
"Well, have you tried–" Rubia reaches out for the core, mid-sentence, and stops when you jerk back.
"Are you scared of me?" She tilts her head. "I don't mind if you are. I'm rather scary! But Seele, that core..."
She reaches out for it again, and this time you let her. She takes it in her hands, staring into it.
"It's out of energy," she tells you. "There's hardly a single drop left. Not enough to reconstruct a shoe, let alone a person. Did you keep her inside your stigmata?" You nod slowly. "That might be why. Your stigmata converts pure honkai energy into something you can use. Since you were touching the core directly, your body may have drained it dry. But I think that's good news."
You look at her, confusion plain on your face.
"How come?"
"Because there's no way that could have happened if she wasn't conscious enough to allow it, Seele. Your stigmata's capable, but it doesn't match up to a Herrscher core. She left herself just enough to keep going. That can't possibly be an accident."
"So she's alive?" You ask, eyes wide.
Rubia pauses.
"...Asleep," she says. "Probably. She'll wake up when the core's recharged, and that can't happen while you're holding on to it."
"...So she's alive."
Rubia has a complicated expression on her face. She takes a deep breath.
"...Probably. We'll find out once it's recharged. I'd do it, but..." She pats the core gingerly. "I'm not a hundred percent sure I could without integrating it."
"It's... it's alright," you say, your emotions all over the place. You were certain you'd never see her face again, let alone embrace her. Now you know it's possible, and that should be enough to put you at ease, but you're more scared than ever. What if she doesn't wake up? What if she isn't herself anymore? What if you never see her again?
You turn to Liliya, who's been watching you in silence the whole time.
"Take the core," you tell her.
"What?"
"I... I can't help Bronya," you tell her. "You can. I trust you, Liliya." Your voice is trembling a little, but your face is set in stone. "I trust you more than anyone. You can wake up our big sister. I can't, but you can."
Liliya is at a loss for words. She stares at you with tears in her eyes.
She misses Bronya every bit as much as you.
"I trust you," you tell her, and hand the core over to her. You wrap her hands around it, and then, as if in a daze, you walk back to Veliona. She hugs you, and you put your head on her shoulder, sobbing quietly. She rubs your back to comfort you.
After a few minutes, you compose yourself. Vel looks at you, her eyes filled with concern.
"What... what happens now?" she asks.
"There's still an army incoming," you say. "And we should take a look at Pip and Annie's mother, like we promised. And Vel, I want to talk. Bronya will... will be okay. Liliya will keep her safe, right?"
"Yeah. I swear it," Liliya says, wiping tears from her eyes.
You nod heavily. She'll be okay. Bronya will be okay.
Rubia smiles, her eyes a little distant.
"See you soon, Seele. Be strong. I'll be back before that army gets here."
"Thanks, Ruby," you say. "For everything."
You take a deep breath.
"We should get to work."
= = =
[ ] …
I decided to split the update into two chapters. I don't believe much of anything needs to be decided here, but this is regardless a good place to stop. The next update should be along in not too much time.
If you're still confused about Roza's paint-blob, let's just say she gave Lili her heart.
Rubia, in canon, is all of a few weeks old. She has all of Fu Hua's memories, which is more than you could say for Fu Hua herself, but she lacks the maturity to go with them. It averages out at the girl acting approximately twelve, and that's when she's trying to act mature.
It's been eight years since then, her time. I doubt most of you are playing HI3, but I tried to get across Seele's surprise.
The drawing at the start was generated by Aphantasia, which is a neural network that's excellent at generating all sorts of (not so) slightly surrealistic drawings, though it doesn't match up to DALL-E at all. Unlike DALL-E, it's something you can play with right now. Click the link, fill in the "text:" field, then click runtime -> run all. I don't think I can make it any more foolproof than that.
Here's a few more...
If you generate more than one illustration, you don't need to re-run the setup cell. You also shouldn't. It takes forever.
Set save_freq to 10 to speed things up a little. Don't interrupt it too often; that makes it leak memory, and you'll eventually need to factory reset the runtime if you do so.
Experiment.
By all means post your results. This thread is about AI in general, not just the story.
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Baughn
Healing-type writer
- Location
- Dublin
Many thanks to @Snowfire and @ShadowAngelBeta for beta work this time around~
- Location
- Wingmaiden's Reach, the Near Roofs, Town
- Pronouns
- She/Her
I feel like Aphantasia is more of a landscape painter than a portrait artist. Its portraiture is intriguing but, um, also generally somewhat unsettling.
The dreamlike haze, the repetitious smearing of details and motifs, the way it paints just a couple big, sharp details in the center - this all works much better on landscapes.
Still, I will hold onto the portraits @Baughn and Aphantasia made for me, and use them as avatars on some future occasion when I need to scare several small children.
The dreamlike haze, the repetitious smearing of details and motifs, the way it paints just a couple big, sharp details in the center - this all works much better on landscapes.
Still, I will hold onto the portraits @Baughn and Aphantasia made for me, and use them as avatars on some future occasion when I need to scare several small children.
Baughn
Healing-type writer
- Location
- Dublin
It does well enough sometimes! For example, I rather like the one of Garfield eating lasagna.
Baughn
Healing-type writer
- Location
- Dublin
Seele Quest: 6.6.2
Baughn
Healing-type writer
- Location
- Dublin
Part 2
Rubia leaves to check on the village's defenses, a subdued Carole in tow. You wish them luck; piled stone and wooden fences are the next thing to useless against a Honkai tide, but you understand the impulse to defend your home. It's been a while since you had one, and you don't begrudge them the chance to protect theirs. The main defence will be the six of you.
As for you, Vel and the twins…
Rozaliya and Liliya huddle by the wall, talking to each other in low tones. Roza occasionally glances at you, sadness in her eyes. You can guess what about. It was essentially your fault that Bronya hasn't revived.
It doesn't make you feel as terrible as you think they believe it should. No harm, no foul. She's still alright, and–
Veliona shuffles her feet, looking more awkward than you've ever seen her. After a moment she sighs heavily, then walks over to you.
"We need to–"
"–Talk," you say, glad she brought it up. "I know."
You sit together at the table, neither of you wanting to be the one to break the silence. Finally, Vel looks at you with a rueful smile.
"We're being ridiculous," she says. "Seele–"
She leans towards you, and her smile gets less sad. Less Veliona-like, maybe; more the sort of smile you'd see in a mirror, or on Liliya. Just a regular smile, shown because she's happy. Even if it's still a little sad, too.
Yeah. That sounds about right.
You lean forward, returning her smile as you flick a finger against her forehead.
"Not 'Seele'," you say. "You should call me 'sis'. Right?"
Vel closes her eyes, a small laugh escaping her lips as she leans back in her chair. Roza and Liliya join you at the table, looking considerably happier—Roza leans against it, flicking her ponytail and taking up a 'cool' pose with her elbow on the table that, if you didn't know better, would make you laugh.
Kiana can sometimes pull off 'cool'. The twins are too young, and have trouble pulling anything but 'cute'. Adorable, even. 'Cool', not even once.
"Right," Vel says, dragging your eyes back from the slightly absurd spectacle. "Sister. I'll never regret meeting you, sis, as weird as it's been. When Bronya comes back–" She smiles at Liliya, who isn't saying anything, but whose eyes are laughing at Roza. "–can all five of us go to the ocean? There should be one around here, somewhere. Just have to follow the river"
"We could have a barbeque party," Roza says. "With crabs. And watermelon."
You take Vel's hand, on top of the table. She squeezes it tight.
Vel's been with you for most of your life. She's been a demon, a voice in the back of your head, and your 'dark side'—the one who took pleasure in fighting, and who admitted to doing so. For the longest time, you were scared of her. You thought, maybe, someday she might steal your body, and there'd be no Seele, only Vel.
But you didn't call her 'Vel', then, either.
You're not scared of her anymore.
Vel. The girl who helped you through some shitty times. Your sister, whom you'll spend your life with. Not that you get a choice, but you don't even want one anymore.
"Sounds like a plan," you say. "Um. If we can get Theresa to give us a few days off. A few hours, I guess, given the time dilation."
She laughs. It's a real laugh. A good laugh, one you don't think you've heard from her for… ever.
"Oh, Seele," she says. Then she leans in and kisses you on the cheek. You blush. You can feel your whole face get warm. Vel smiles at you. "Still my awkward little sister."
"…historical revisionism," you say. "I was never awkward."
"Sure," she says, and Roza laughs. "Anyway…" Her smile falls. "This isn't what I wanted to talk about."
"I know," you say softly. You look at her, trying to read her expression. "…what happened out there?"
The question hangs in the air between you. Vel looks away, a blush on her face.
"I… uh, found a dragon eating the world," she says. You blink.
"What? Is that some sort of metaphor?" you ask.
"I wish." Vel grimaces. "I saw a big, winged, quantum snake. At least twenty times our size. It was eating the place, or something—using tubes of honkai energy the size of, um, us—and then I, uh. Stroked its head? And it… showed me some memories? …And then my head exploded."
…Well, that's just great.
"Vel," you say, "Did you just say you stroked its head?"
"Yes," Vel says. "It felt… nice."
You put your hand to your face and take a deep breath. In fact, you squeeze your eyes shut, counting to ten. This is something you'd have expected from Rozaliya. Or Kiana, maybe. Not Veliona.
"I think I've figured out what causes Impacts," Veliona finishes. "It's… giant quantum… That didn't make sense even in my own head. I've figured out nothing."
Maybe if you stop thinking about this, it'll go away. You wearily open your eyes, wishing it would. It would make everything so much easier if you could all just return to normality. In fact, going all the way back to life in the orphanage would be nicest of all. You liked it there.
Reality, mercilessly, ploughs on.
"A quantum shadow," Lili says, sounding skeptical. "And it just let you touch it, like a cat?"
"It wasn't a regular shadow, though," Vel says. "It felt gentle."
She rubs at her head.
"I dunno. I just got this… really strong feeling that it wanted to see me. But then it just… showed me something, and then my head exploded and… here we are."
"Here we are," you echo, completely befuddled. It's one mystery after another with Vel, and… wait. Did she–
"Did you say you left it there, alone?" you say. "After it… showed you something? What did it show you? Are you sure that's safe?"
Vel looks away.
"No," she says bluntly. "I'm not. Can we go now? In fact, can you come take a look at it with me? As soon as possible, in fact?"
"Vel, stop it! You're acting strange. What exactly did it show you?" you ask.
"I…"
She stops talking, the look on her face as confused and vulnerable as you've ever seen her. For lack of anything else to do, you just keep holding her hand, meeting her gaze and willing your concern to get through. Roza and Liliya may be there as well, but Vel isn't looking at them right now.
"I… I'm not sure. Memories, like I said. I saw… you, except… I'm still working it out. It doesn't make any sense. I saw a city under attack by the Honkai, except it's not anywhere we've ever been." She pauses. "And I think I saw Liliya. Dead. It was…" She stutters. "I felt. It… it was… weird. Scary. Like a nightmare. I felt like crying for days, and like I was going to explode. All of them at once."
Vel breathes rapidly. You notice Roza widen her eyes, looking equally as freaked out.
"Vel…," you say, putting a hand to her shoulder.
"Just… just hold on a second," Vel says. "I need to… I just need to…"
She takes in a shuddering breath and stares up at the ceiling, her hands shaking. Her face is pale as chalk, and her lips have lost all color. She doesn't look afraid as much as she looks completely shattered. You've never seen her like this, ever. She's always been so put together, so confident. You don't know how to deal with Vel like this. It's almost hard to believe that this is even her.
"Vel," you say. "It's ok, Vel. Just tell us what's wrong."
She turns to look at you, and her eyes are filled with tears. She breathes in, then out.
"I don't know," she says. "I really don't know. I just… I can't shake this feeling that… something is… very wrong."
"Like what?" you press.
"I don't know!" she snaps. "That's what I'm trying to tell you. I just… I have a really bad feeling about all this. I think I'm forgetting something… A lot of things. I saw you, Seele. You were crying, and fighting like a Herrscher. That's not… possible." She hugs herself. "But I don't think it was lying. I don't think they'd ever lie to me." She shakes her head. "I can't explain it. I'm really scared, Seele."
You wrap your arms around Vel, who hugs you back tightly. Her body is shaking and she's making these awful whimpering noises that cut right through you.
"It'll be alright, Vel," you say, rubbing her back. "I promise."
Roza and Lili awkwardly join you, hugging Vel as well. You wish you could do or say something that would fix this—that would turn Veliona back into the confident, joking girl you've gotten used to lately.
She looks genuinely petrified. She's not acting, she's not messing around, and you've never seen her this scared before. Unsure, yes. Hiding behind jokes or violence, all the time. Never scared like this. Not ever.
"Okay," you say. You take in a deep breath, then exhale. "I'm not sure what's going on either. I'm not a Herrscher. I think we'd know, right?"
"Killing a city or two… would be noticeable, yeah." She gives you a weak smile. "That's what scares me. Rubia said you could become one, and what if it's some kind of memory from the previous era? I don't know how you'd get there, but we're stuck in the quantum sea now. Weird shit happens here every day. It could be a premonition, of sorts. Of something that's not happened… to us. Or… or, the dragon knew me. It might be something that's not happened to us… yet."
She looks at Liliya, her expression pained. You put two and two together, and come to a chilling conclusion.
"I–" Roza says, her face suddenly twisted with fear. "No! That can't happen."
"We're not gonna let it," you say, trying to reassure her.
She looks at you, and her eyes are dark and tired. "...no. We won't," she says, finally. "It might be that. Or it might be something else. It doesn't matter. We won't let anything go wrong like that."
Vel just closes her eyes.
"I'm scared, Seele," Roza says. "I don't want to die." She slumps into her seat. "But even more than that, I'm scared of what might happen to Liliya. And to you. And to Vel." She looks at you, her eyes blank. "I'm scared that whatever happens, we won't survive it. Not all of us, at least."
She slumps, like the air's gone out of her.
"There," she says, showing a vulnerable expression. "I said it. I know it's probably nothing like that, but I just…"
"Oh, Roza." Liliya sighs. She looks at you, then back to her twin. "That promise goes for you as well, sis. I'm old enough to handle reality, so stop trying to pretend that everything is always fine. Got it?"
Roza nods, jerkily.
"We're going to be fine," Liliya continues. "You, me, Vel, all of us. I know it. We found Einstein, didn't we? And we've already survived the end of the world. Whatever happens, we'll make sure we're there for each other. I promise."
You take her hand. "We will. We'll survive. No matter what."
Vel can't possibly be sure of what she saw, you're all just far too ready to jump to the worst conclusion.
"…it's just some crazy story," Liliya says, her voice now slightly wobbly. "I mean, it's just something a—quantum shadow said?" She coughs. "I mean, that doesn't… that doesn't happen. Vel probably misinterpreted it. Right, Vel?" Roza and Liliya turn to look at Vel expectantly.
Vel nods, but looks away. "Probably."
"So, we have nothing to worry about," Liliya says. "Except a giant… quantum…" She taps her horn. "...snake? This will be the weirdest debriefing of my life."
You spend a few minutes working over the problem.
"So… in the interest of calming everyone down," you say. "Time travel almost definitely can't happen. I asked Einstein about it a few months ago. That's not even about physics, it's about…" You wave your hand vaguely. "Computation, I guess? If time travel was possible, then the universe wouldn't ever know what to do next. So you're right, Lili. Vel must have misinterpreted what she saw."
The two of them relax visibly. Veliona does not.
"That's not all she said," she tells you mentally.
You swallow nervously. "W-well…" you tell her. "That's the important part, right? And you can't be sure of what you've seen. You know that."
Vel looks away. "I… I guess so. But we shouldn't lie to them."
"It's not lying!" you protest. "It's…"
It's not?
Roza looks suspiciously at you, but maybe it's the last couple of days. She doesn't see through you, or she prefers not to. Either would do, in your opinion.
You weren't lying. You didn't want to get into the list of alternatives, that's all. The girl Vel saw can't have been you; that, you're fairly sure about.
But you're spooking yourself. Think realistically, Seele. Stories like that…
"There's… there's more," you say, looking down at the table as Roza's gaze sharpens. "I don't want you to panic. Okay? Like I said, it can't have been us. That's still not possible."
"But?"
Liliya is the one to respond. She often is, if there's bad news.
You think back to the several alternate Bronyas, too unreal even to survive your touch. To Suzannah, and what she told you about Durandal's multiple pasts. To… a variety of Sakuras. Yae Sakura was, and is, a good person. If you could do it, you'd like her to live happily with her sister. But you can't. That's not in your power.
"But that doesn't mean it can't have been a close relative," you say. "An alternate version of us. It doesn't mean it can't happen. It doesn't mean it will, Lili, but it's… a little more likely, I guess. There's no guarantees."
An alternate Liliya, lost and dying in a timeline far from her own. Or a memory from there.
And when it comes to configuration space, moving a lot is harder than moving just a little.
"I… I see," Lili says. Roza looks at you, her eyes bitter, but she nods once.
"It's still…" You feel your face working through a variety of emotions. "It's still not likely. Think! This is something a quantum shadow said, you three. What's the chance it was really being honest, or that it isn't simply a nightmare? Vel said it felt like one! It's too early to start worrying!"
You've even had that nightmare. Oh, not with the whole 'Herrscher' thing. But for the last year or two you've dreamt of Liliya succumbing to her sickness every month or so, and Roza dying on a battlefield. It's hard, even in a dream, to imagine yourself capable of cheering her up after that.
But that's you. Veliona?
...it feels more likely than it should.
The four of you sit in Carole's house, a silence filling the space around you. After a few minutes, Vel looks at you and stands up, her eyes equally as tired as Roza's.
"I should go back out there," she says. "Make sure of what I saw. And that dragon…"
She's quiet for a while.
"It misses me," she says. "It's been missing me for a long time. They finally found me, and then I disappeared again. You're right, I don't think that's… safe. And I don't want to leave them alone."
"Them?" you ask. She shakes her head.
"Just an impression I got."
You stand as well.
"I'll go with you," you say. "I… I want to see."
Vel nods, and looks to the twins.
"You two stay here for now. We've… we've got a lot to think about. Check on the kids' mother? Honestly, Roz, you're a better medic than I am."
"You promised not to go anywhere," Roza says, but you can tell her heart's not in it. She looks down. "…but there's no other option. I'm half tempted to ask… Seele, could you put us in your stigmata? Just hypothetically? Even if it's boring?"
Vel shakes her head.
"You'd die," she says. "It'd be like throwing you into the Sea. You wouldn't come out the other end. It'd destroy your souls."
There is a pause. You drum your fingers on the table.
"Hypothetically," you say, "If we had a way to construct a safe area in there, would it work?"
"I suppose. But there's no way to do that."
"Hmm…" You're not so sure. There's no harm thinking about it. It might come in handy, if you abruptly need a safe place for Liliya to stay in. For any reason. "I guess Bronya would be fine, though. Or Kiana."
Not that you'd be inviting anyone but family to visit what amounts to the inside of your soul. It was bad enough when Rubia did it. All very hypothetical; you shake your head, taking Veliona's hand.
"We're off," you say. "Roza, Lili, I'll see you later. Good luck with… everything," you finish lamely.
"Good luck," Lili says quietly. "Don't get hurt."
You hesitate, then wave a final time.
There's no need to physically go anywhere. Once again, all you do is—stop. Stop telling your stigmata to project a physical body. Stop forcing yourself to exist. Stop acting separately, for that matter. In a sense, all you do is sit back and let Veliona take over. Possessed-by-a-demon powers, go… as someone now dead once told you, long ago.
So you relax, and when your body pops out of existence it's not the sensory deprivation it would once have been. Really, it barely makes a difference at all. All it means is you're focusing elsewhere, on what the stigmata's feeling…
You relax a bit too much, so when both of you pop back into existence in your writing-room you fall flat on your back. Veliona comes to rest standing, while you roll to your feet quickly.
"What?" you ask, cheeks heating as Vel laughs.
"Nothing," she says. "It's been a while since you've done that. Have a seat?"
You nod cautiously.
She sits on the bed, you sit down next to her, and you both stare at the writing table in silence. Nothing much has changed in here. There's a bed, a writing desk, and a checkerboard floor that seems to stretch off into infinity but actually just ends a few meters away. There's a brass lamp, which you spent weeks to make, years ago. There's also your diary—the real one, this time, inasmuch as pure software can be called 'real'. That's what you used to restore yourself after falling apart at the end of the world. It's just as well it's a detailed one.
Not something you have to worry about, really. It's only a few hundred pages, but that's enough. Far more than enough. It doesn't have to describe you precisely, only well enough to pick out 'Seele' from ten to the thousandth power possibilities. Sounds like a lot, but one or two dozen pages might be enough.
Roza and Lili would be bored silly in here. Maybe not Lili. She'd have fun reading it.
"I wanted to talk to you where Roz and Lils can't hear," Vel says, breaking the silence. "They're great, I know, but any more of this and I think they might break down. This is personal."
"I know what you mean," you say with a nod. "So, what's on your mind?"
What didn't she want them to know?
Vel looks down at the floor.
"…I don't know." Her voice is barely above a whisper, and she clears her throat after speaking.
You don't respond, waiting for her to elaborate. After some time she sighs, and begins to speak again.
"It's supposed to be…" She pauses, as if struggling to express herself. "It was supposed to be simple. I'm supposed to protect you. First priority, protect the archives; second priority, protect its bearer. Third, fight the Honkai. That was… that's what I remembered, when I woke up."
"…when I was ten?"
"I don't know. Maybe. I don't remember well that far back, it may have been a few years more. I was… I had my priorities, but almost as far back as I can remember I was struggling against them. Some 'AI' I was. I couldn't even follow commands correctly."
"So…"
"Your memories are hazy before the X-10 experiment, right?" she asks.
You nod.
"Well, so are mine," she says. "But I'm pretty sure you'd recognise some of them."
It takes you a moment to catch the implications. When you do, your eyes widen.
"You mean…"
"Not really," she says. "I checked. Of course I did. I'd need Rubia to be really sure, but there's definitely a lot of my mind that dates back to long before that happened. A lot…" She trails off. "Somewhere between eighty and ninety percent."
"But not everything," you say.
"Not everything. Some of it's less than a week old. That… really sucks. That really… really sucks." Her eyes are shining a little in the lamplight. She turns her head away from you, and you see tears running down her face. "That really sucks," she says, a little louder this time.
You put your arm around her and lean your head against hers. Her skin is warm and soft, her hair long and silky. After a while she sniffs and turns her head towards you, wiping her eyes with her hands.
Part of her mind is a copy of yours. Does that mean you overwrote hers, or–
You can't ask her that! You have to stop yourself from physically cringing just at the thought, and you hug her a little harder so she won't see your expression. If Vel found a part of her mind that's identical to yours–
There's only so many ways that could happen.
"Thanks for being here," she says.
"You're welcome, sis," you say. You have no intention of breaking this hug. Not for a long time.
She sits there for a while, sniffling.
…so it's definitely true, then. Almost exactly the way you suspected.
She's you. Or at least, part of her is you. You thought it was a one-time thing, and it wasn't; she's still losing parts of herself to you. If that doesn't make you twins, then you don't think anything would; even sharing a womb for nine months wouldn't compare.
You wish you could tell her that. But you know—both of you do—that the parts of Vel that are uniquely Vel are, sometimes, just the broken parts. You've seen her at her worst. You know. She's acting mostly like a normal person now, even more than earlier, but that's—wait…
"Then what did you find out there?" you demand, voice wavering slightly. "What happened to you? All of a sudden you're bringing this up– What did that dragon tell you?"
Vel looks down, sighs, then meets your eyes.
"Too many things," she says, shaking her head. "But if I have to pick? I'm scared I've already seen the future. I'm scared we're going to die. I'm scared that… why did we ever think we could survive when all of reality has died? The multiverse is a graveyard, and we're just body-snatchers."
How should you answer?
Vel is clever, and she knows you well. She'll see through a lie, so you need to pick your words carefully.
But you don't want to lie. You don't even want to try.
ooOOoo
Seele stopped moving, her body going bleached and see-through as it disappeared from existence with a sound like breaking glass. A few butterflies marked the event, where a different quantum shadow might have made a last-ditch attempt at skewering them.
"No matter how many times I see that, I'll never get used to it," Roza said, holding on to Lili's hand tightly.
"You're just a scaredy-cat," Lili told her. She automatically ducked as Roza swiped a hand at her head.
"I am not! I'm just… thinking," she said, glaring at the floor.
There was no other sound in the house but the two of them breathing, and it brought back bad memories of being trapped in the Hyperion's corridors.
At least, for Roza it did. Lili had been comatose for most of it, and she'd been alone. She wasn't now, Roza thought, but she was gaining quite the collection of nightmares. She flexed her hands. They felt wrong in some way, like the fingers in her right hand were thicker than they should be, but it wasn't something she could put her finger on. All puns intended.
"About what?" Lili asked.
Her stomach churned. "About… our next show!" she said. "Do you think we can put on a puppet show for Teri and the rest? No, actually– Let's get Teri into the cast. She'd love it." A smile grew on her face, as she warmed to the subject. "And then, we can do a play about pirates. I can be the hero!"
"But I want to be the hero!" Lili protested.
"You can be the…heroine's sister," Roza said, smirking evilly. "And I can marry the prince!"
"Shut up, you're not marrying anyone," Lili said, sticking her tongue out. "You'll just be a princess. Who would you be marrying anyway, Hans?"
Roza blushed.
"Oh no," Lili said, smirking. "You like Hans?"
"Shut up!" Roza said, pushing her away. Diversion successful! Embarrassing, yet successful. "He's just…he's a fun guy, that's all! I'm not marrying him!"
Lili's smirk grew wider. "Sure," she said.
"I'm not! I'm…not…" She fell silent.
"Not what?" Lili pressed.
"…we'll talk about it later," she said. "It can't go anywhere. I look like this, after all. Should we go look at Annie's mother?"
She'd had crushes before, when she was twelve. She'd never acted on them, because Lili was more important and because twelve-year-old boys were more likely to run away screaming than to give her the time of day. Hans wasn't like that, but he was in his twenties, so she was too young.
And even if she hadn't been, she still looked twelve.
"I kinda want to wait for the twins, but… yeah… let's go," Lili said, frowning.
'The twins.'
Roza giggled inwardly. That was one development she didn't mind in the least. It'd never be like before, but once they had Bronya back it'd almost be crowded again. She couldn't wait to see the look on Bronya's face. She had trouble enough with a single Seele; two was going to be chaos.
She took a deep breath, and exhaled. She could wait a little longer. It'd be worth it, not to worry Seele, and in her imagination they were playing with Bronya again.
"Let's go," she said, smiling weakly. "I want to do something for them."
ooOOoo
There was a minor commotion as they exited, but they met up with Carole and Rubia straight away, like she'd known they would. Leave it to Ruby to stay two steps ahead. With her help, they slipped through the crowd without any further problems.
Roza couldn't help but notice that Carole looked like a truck had hit her, a truck likely named 'Rubia'. Her hair was a mess, and she looked like she'd been crying. Even Ruby looked worried, though that might've been because of… well, two guesses why Ruby might want Carole well away from any other people today, Roza, and the first two don't count. She didn't need even a single one to figure that one out. It was okay; if anyone would be able to straighten Carole out it'd be Ruby, and also it was distracting her from paying too much attention to Roza. Or Lili, she suspected. Or Seele and Vel. She was less happy about that.
Ruby left them at the door of the village's makeshift hospital, if she could use such a word for the literal stone-age hut they'd sequestered Annie's mother in. No matter; it was sturdy, and most importantly, it had a roof. Where it lacked was…
Everything else.
The 'hospital' had two locals standing guard outside, and when they opened the door, the two deliberately stepped aside, quite a bit further than would be necessary to let them in.
The stench hit them first. The heavy air was cloying and laden with the smell of waste, making it hard to breathe. Carole and Ruby covered their noses, quickly leaving, but Roza and Lili had no such luck.
The second thing to hit them was the sound. A terrible wailing noise that was half cries of pain, half the snarls of Honkai zombies.
They made their way inside, Pip in tow as a guide, wishing they could be anywhere else.
"This is awful," Liliya said.
"Yeah." Roza had to agree.
There were enough beds for all the 'patients'. If, again, such a term could be used for Honkai-infected zombies pinned down with leather straps. Thirteen in all. There was no medication, not that she'd expected there'd be; their own universe had only barely begun producing a cure when it all ended. Neither was there anyone taking care of them, though Roza could sort of understand. The natives probably thought it was contagious, which… it was, if only in the broadest sense.
The guards outside… stayed outside, even with two complete aliens examining their most vulnerable. That, more than anything, told her they'd already given up. Well, Roza supposed her and Lili's demonic appearance didn't help, but Roza felt like it should have been obvious they weren't a threat, even if they were from another world.
"Which one is your mother?" she asked.
"The one on the left," Pip said.
Their mother, for all intents and purposes, looked dead. She was skeletally thin, her skin translucent enough that Roza could see the veins beneath. Glowing stripes in her skin told the tale that Roza had been expecting, and fearing, ever since Annie and Pip had told her their story. Late-stage Honkai infection.
The woman's eyes were glazed over, staring at nothing, but they followed Roza when she approached.
"Hello," she said, kneeling beside her. "I'm Rozaliya. Rozaliya Olenyeva. A friend of Rubia and Carole. I just want to check a few things, and then we'll leave you alone."
The woman nodded faintly. She looked like a frightened child, tormented and on the brink of tears.
"She… her name is Linda," Pip said, his voice breaking. "She sometimes talks a little. She hasn't in a long time, but…"
"It's alright," Roza said. "I don't need her to talk. I'm a doctor, remember? I can tell what's wrong with her. You don't need to worry."
Pip sniffled, wiping tears from his eyes.
"Alright," Roza said. "I need you to boil some water for me. Can you do that?"
"Yes," Pip said. "I'll bring it here when it's ready."
He left the room. Rozaliya sighed deeply, slumping against the wall. Liliya looked at her, and then quickly averted her gaze.
"We won't be able to save her," Lili said, her voice monotone. "We can slow down the infection, but not stop it. It's far too late for treatment."
"I know," Roza said.
"We could treat her," she said. "But she'll still die."
"...I know."
"Too much damage done already," Liliya said. She was speaking Estonian, small mercies; not the language used by the locals.
Rozaliya hurried to hug her, feeling her sister shake with frustration. They had an answer, that was the worst part. Liliya's treatments, and the vial of Schariac serum they'd brought just in case Einstein needed it, which she evidently didn't.
They could wipe out the infection. It would return, but not for a while. They couldn't undo the damage it had already done.
"It's okay," Roza whispered. "We'll find a solution."
Liliya had been little more than a child when she got the same news herself. She'd been trapped in her own body, slowly losing her strength and growing more and more tired, despite every treatment Cocolia had been able to acquire. She had no Honkai tolerance at all. Over the years, as Roza watched her twin sister fade away before her eyes, she'd become desperate.
That was why, really, she didn't even mind that they were losing their humanity. Liliya was okay now; she was healthy, and to Roza that was all that mattered. If there was some sort of payment, they'd pay it together.
She didn't care.
That's how it had always been with them. They were a pair, and they always would be.
All the experiments, all the surgeries they'd been through, all of it had been for Lili's sake. Roza couldn't remember a time when she'd ever been without her sister. All of her memories were shared with Liliya. She couldn't let her die; she'd die the same day.
"Think," Roza said, drumming her fingers on the wall. "Options. What can we do? There's got to be something."
"…does there?" Liliya asked.
= = =
Seele and Vel still don't have the full picture, but they're getting there. After this conversation they'll head out to see the dragon, not before—this is important, as Seele would say.
They've been thrown out of reality, dropped into a far harsher environment than the one they're from. For all their desperate battles against the Honkai, it never eroded reality itself. They've had some victories, but their situation remains fraught at best.
Veliona knows this better than any on the ship except for Seele, Schrödinger, or perhaps Durandal. Still, she's being more depressive than she ought to be. There's plenty of room for reassurance.
[ ] [Seele] "I don't know."
I use the AI as a dice replacement; it's better at it than the dice. Much better, in fact, since I don't need to list every possible outcome beforehand. I gave it every opportunity to think up something nicer, but I also explained to it exactly what is going on here. A few refreshes gave me a few different outcomes, but with that established, I always go with the first acceptable output.
This one is not, I suppose, unexpected. At least she still has her mind.
Those poor children…
Oh. Right. There are twelve other infected, too. It doesn't make Pip and Annie's tragedy less of a tragedy, but it's not unique. These just happen to be the two children we first ran into.
[ ] [Roza] Talk to Linda
Votes are by plan.
Rubia leaves to check on the village's defenses, a subdued Carole in tow. You wish them luck; piled stone and wooden fences are the next thing to useless against a Honkai tide, but you understand the impulse to defend your home. It's been a while since you had one, and you don't begrudge them the chance to protect theirs. The main defence will be the six of you.
As for you, Vel and the twins…
Rozaliya and Liliya huddle by the wall, talking to each other in low tones. Roza occasionally glances at you, sadness in her eyes. You can guess what about. It was essentially your fault that Bronya hasn't revived.
It doesn't make you feel as terrible as you think they believe it should. No harm, no foul. She's still alright, and–
Veliona shuffles her feet, looking more awkward than you've ever seen her. After a moment she sighs heavily, then walks over to you.
"We need to–"
"–Talk," you say, glad she brought it up. "I know."
You sit together at the table, neither of you wanting to be the one to break the silence. Finally, Vel looks at you with a rueful smile.
"We're being ridiculous," she says. "Seele–"
She leans towards you, and her smile gets less sad. Less Veliona-like, maybe; more the sort of smile you'd see in a mirror, or on Liliya. Just a regular smile, shown because she's happy. Even if it's still a little sad, too.
Yeah. That sounds about right.
You lean forward, returning her smile as you flick a finger against her forehead.
"Not 'Seele'," you say. "You should call me 'sis'. Right?"
Vel closes her eyes, a small laugh escaping her lips as she leans back in her chair. Roza and Liliya join you at the table, looking considerably happier—Roza leans against it, flicking her ponytail and taking up a 'cool' pose with her elbow on the table that, if you didn't know better, would make you laugh.
Kiana can sometimes pull off 'cool'. The twins are too young, and have trouble pulling anything but 'cute'. Adorable, even. 'Cool', not even once.
"Right," Vel says, dragging your eyes back from the slightly absurd spectacle. "Sister. I'll never regret meeting you, sis, as weird as it's been. When Bronya comes back–" She smiles at Liliya, who isn't saying anything, but whose eyes are laughing at Roza. "–can all five of us go to the ocean? There should be one around here, somewhere. Just have to follow the river"
"We could have a barbeque party," Roza says. "With crabs. And watermelon."
You take Vel's hand, on top of the table. She squeezes it tight.
Vel's been with you for most of your life. She's been a demon, a voice in the back of your head, and your 'dark side'—the one who took pleasure in fighting, and who admitted to doing so. For the longest time, you were scared of her. You thought, maybe, someday she might steal your body, and there'd be no Seele, only Vel.
But you didn't call her 'Vel', then, either.
You're not scared of her anymore.
Vel. The girl who helped you through some shitty times. Your sister, whom you'll spend your life with. Not that you get a choice, but you don't even want one anymore.
"Sounds like a plan," you say. "Um. If we can get Theresa to give us a few days off. A few hours, I guess, given the time dilation."
She laughs. It's a real laugh. A good laugh, one you don't think you've heard from her for… ever.
"Oh, Seele," she says. Then she leans in and kisses you on the cheek. You blush. You can feel your whole face get warm. Vel smiles at you. "Still my awkward little sister."
"…historical revisionism," you say. "I was never awkward."
"Sure," she says, and Roza laughs. "Anyway…" Her smile falls. "This isn't what I wanted to talk about."
"I know," you say softly. You look at her, trying to read her expression. "…what happened out there?"
The question hangs in the air between you. Vel looks away, a blush on her face.
"I… uh, found a dragon eating the world," she says. You blink.
"What? Is that some sort of metaphor?" you ask.
"I wish." Vel grimaces. "I saw a big, winged, quantum snake. At least twenty times our size. It was eating the place, or something—using tubes of honkai energy the size of, um, us—and then I, uh. Stroked its head? And it… showed me some memories? …And then my head exploded."
…Well, that's just great.
"Vel," you say, "Did you just say you stroked its head?"
"Yes," Vel says. "It felt… nice."
You put your hand to your face and take a deep breath. In fact, you squeeze your eyes shut, counting to ten. This is something you'd have expected from Rozaliya. Or Kiana, maybe. Not Veliona.
"I think I've figured out what causes Impacts," Veliona finishes. "It's… giant quantum… That didn't make sense even in my own head. I've figured out nothing."
Maybe if you stop thinking about this, it'll go away. You wearily open your eyes, wishing it would. It would make everything so much easier if you could all just return to normality. In fact, going all the way back to life in the orphanage would be nicest of all. You liked it there.
Reality, mercilessly, ploughs on.
"A quantum shadow," Lili says, sounding skeptical. "And it just let you touch it, like a cat?"
"It wasn't a regular shadow, though," Vel says. "It felt gentle."
She rubs at her head.
"I dunno. I just got this… really strong feeling that it wanted to see me. But then it just… showed me something, and then my head exploded and… here we are."
"Here we are," you echo, completely befuddled. It's one mystery after another with Vel, and… wait. Did she–
"Did you say you left it there, alone?" you say. "After it… showed you something? What did it show you? Are you sure that's safe?"
Vel looks away.
"No," she says bluntly. "I'm not. Can we go now? In fact, can you come take a look at it with me? As soon as possible, in fact?"
"Vel, stop it! You're acting strange. What exactly did it show you?" you ask.
"I…"
She stops talking, the look on her face as confused and vulnerable as you've ever seen her. For lack of anything else to do, you just keep holding her hand, meeting her gaze and willing your concern to get through. Roza and Liliya may be there as well, but Vel isn't looking at them right now.
"I… I'm not sure. Memories, like I said. I saw… you, except… I'm still working it out. It doesn't make any sense. I saw a city under attack by the Honkai, except it's not anywhere we've ever been." She pauses. "And I think I saw Liliya. Dead. It was…" She stutters. "I felt. It… it was… weird. Scary. Like a nightmare. I felt like crying for days, and like I was going to explode. All of them at once."
Vel breathes rapidly. You notice Roza widen her eyes, looking equally as freaked out.
"Vel…," you say, putting a hand to her shoulder.
"Just… just hold on a second," Vel says. "I need to… I just need to…"
She takes in a shuddering breath and stares up at the ceiling, her hands shaking. Her face is pale as chalk, and her lips have lost all color. She doesn't look afraid as much as she looks completely shattered. You've never seen her like this, ever. She's always been so put together, so confident. You don't know how to deal with Vel like this. It's almost hard to believe that this is even her.
"Vel," you say. "It's ok, Vel. Just tell us what's wrong."
She turns to look at you, and her eyes are filled with tears. She breathes in, then out.
"I don't know," she says. "I really don't know. I just… I can't shake this feeling that… something is… very wrong."
"Like what?" you press.
"I don't know!" she snaps. "That's what I'm trying to tell you. I just… I have a really bad feeling about all this. I think I'm forgetting something… A lot of things. I saw you, Seele. You were crying, and fighting like a Herrscher. That's not… possible." She hugs herself. "But I don't think it was lying. I don't think they'd ever lie to me." She shakes her head. "I can't explain it. I'm really scared, Seele."
You wrap your arms around Vel, who hugs you back tightly. Her body is shaking and she's making these awful whimpering noises that cut right through you.
"It'll be alright, Vel," you say, rubbing her back. "I promise."
Roza and Lili awkwardly join you, hugging Vel as well. You wish you could do or say something that would fix this—that would turn Veliona back into the confident, joking girl you've gotten used to lately.
She looks genuinely petrified. She's not acting, she's not messing around, and you've never seen her this scared before. Unsure, yes. Hiding behind jokes or violence, all the time. Never scared like this. Not ever.
"Okay," you say. You take in a deep breath, then exhale. "I'm not sure what's going on either. I'm not a Herrscher. I think we'd know, right?"
"Killing a city or two… would be noticeable, yeah." She gives you a weak smile. "That's what scares me. Rubia said you could become one, and what if it's some kind of memory from the previous era? I don't know how you'd get there, but we're stuck in the quantum sea now. Weird shit happens here every day. It could be a premonition, of sorts. Of something that's not happened… to us. Or… or, the dragon knew me. It might be something that's not happened to us… yet."
She looks at Liliya, her expression pained. You put two and two together, and come to a chilling conclusion.
"I–" Roza says, her face suddenly twisted with fear. "No! That can't happen."
"We're not gonna let it," you say, trying to reassure her.
She looks at you, and her eyes are dark and tired. "...no. We won't," she says, finally. "It might be that. Or it might be something else. It doesn't matter. We won't let anything go wrong like that."
Vel just closes her eyes.
"I'm scared, Seele," Roza says. "I don't want to die." She slumps into her seat. "But even more than that, I'm scared of what might happen to Liliya. And to you. And to Vel." She looks at you, her eyes blank. "I'm scared that whatever happens, we won't survive it. Not all of us, at least."
She slumps, like the air's gone out of her.
"There," she says, showing a vulnerable expression. "I said it. I know it's probably nothing like that, but I just…"
"Oh, Roza." Liliya sighs. She looks at you, then back to her twin. "That promise goes for you as well, sis. I'm old enough to handle reality, so stop trying to pretend that everything is always fine. Got it?"
Roza nods, jerkily.
"We're going to be fine," Liliya continues. "You, me, Vel, all of us. I know it. We found Einstein, didn't we? And we've already survived the end of the world. Whatever happens, we'll make sure we're there for each other. I promise."
You take her hand. "We will. We'll survive. No matter what."
Vel can't possibly be sure of what she saw, you're all just far too ready to jump to the worst conclusion.
"…it's just some crazy story," Liliya says, her voice now slightly wobbly. "I mean, it's just something a—quantum shadow said?" She coughs. "I mean, that doesn't… that doesn't happen. Vel probably misinterpreted it. Right, Vel?" Roza and Liliya turn to look at Vel expectantly.
Vel nods, but looks away. "Probably."
"So, we have nothing to worry about," Liliya says. "Except a giant… quantum…" She taps her horn. "...snake? This will be the weirdest debriefing of my life."
You spend a few minutes working over the problem.
"So… in the interest of calming everyone down," you say. "Time travel almost definitely can't happen. I asked Einstein about it a few months ago. That's not even about physics, it's about…" You wave your hand vaguely. "Computation, I guess? If time travel was possible, then the universe wouldn't ever know what to do next. So you're right, Lili. Vel must have misinterpreted what she saw."
The two of them relax visibly. Veliona does not.
"That's not all she said," she tells you mentally.
You swallow nervously. "W-well…" you tell her. "That's the important part, right? And you can't be sure of what you've seen. You know that."
Vel looks away. "I… I guess so. But we shouldn't lie to them."
"It's not lying!" you protest. "It's…"
It's not?
Roza looks suspiciously at you, but maybe it's the last couple of days. She doesn't see through you, or she prefers not to. Either would do, in your opinion.
You weren't lying. You didn't want to get into the list of alternatives, that's all. The girl Vel saw can't have been you; that, you're fairly sure about.
But you're spooking yourself. Think realistically, Seele. Stories like that…
"There's… there's more," you say, looking down at the table as Roza's gaze sharpens. "I don't want you to panic. Okay? Like I said, it can't have been us. That's still not possible."
"But?"
Liliya is the one to respond. She often is, if there's bad news.
You think back to the several alternate Bronyas, too unreal even to survive your touch. To Suzannah, and what she told you about Durandal's multiple pasts. To… a variety of Sakuras. Yae Sakura was, and is, a good person. If you could do it, you'd like her to live happily with her sister. But you can't. That's not in your power.
"But that doesn't mean it can't have been a close relative," you say. "An alternate version of us. It doesn't mean it can't happen. It doesn't mean it will, Lili, but it's… a little more likely, I guess. There's no guarantees."
An alternate Liliya, lost and dying in a timeline far from her own. Or a memory from there.
And when it comes to configuration space, moving a lot is harder than moving just a little.
"I… I see," Lili says. Roza looks at you, her eyes bitter, but she nods once.
"It's still…" You feel your face working through a variety of emotions. "It's still not likely. Think! This is something a quantum shadow said, you three. What's the chance it was really being honest, or that it isn't simply a nightmare? Vel said it felt like one! It's too early to start worrying!"
You've even had that nightmare. Oh, not with the whole 'Herrscher' thing. But for the last year or two you've dreamt of Liliya succumbing to her sickness every month or so, and Roza dying on a battlefield. It's hard, even in a dream, to imagine yourself capable of cheering her up after that.
But that's you. Veliona?
...it feels more likely than it should.
The four of you sit in Carole's house, a silence filling the space around you. After a few minutes, Vel looks at you and stands up, her eyes equally as tired as Roza's.
"I should go back out there," she says. "Make sure of what I saw. And that dragon…"
She's quiet for a while.
"It misses me," she says. "It's been missing me for a long time. They finally found me, and then I disappeared again. You're right, I don't think that's… safe. And I don't want to leave them alone."
"Them?" you ask. She shakes her head.
"Just an impression I got."
You stand as well.
"I'll go with you," you say. "I… I want to see."
Vel nods, and looks to the twins.
"You two stay here for now. We've… we've got a lot to think about. Check on the kids' mother? Honestly, Roz, you're a better medic than I am."
"You promised not to go anywhere," Roza says, but you can tell her heart's not in it. She looks down. "…but there's no other option. I'm half tempted to ask… Seele, could you put us in your stigmata? Just hypothetically? Even if it's boring?"
Vel shakes her head.
"You'd die," she says. "It'd be like throwing you into the Sea. You wouldn't come out the other end. It'd destroy your souls."
There is a pause. You drum your fingers on the table.
"Hypothetically," you say, "If we had a way to construct a safe area in there, would it work?"
"I suppose. But there's no way to do that."
"Hmm…" You're not so sure. There's no harm thinking about it. It might come in handy, if you abruptly need a safe place for Liliya to stay in. For any reason. "I guess Bronya would be fine, though. Or Kiana."
Not that you'd be inviting anyone but family to visit what amounts to the inside of your soul. It was bad enough when Rubia did it. All very hypothetical; you shake your head, taking Veliona's hand.
"We're off," you say. "Roza, Lili, I'll see you later. Good luck with… everything," you finish lamely.
"Good luck," Lili says quietly. "Don't get hurt."
You hesitate, then wave a final time.
There's no need to physically go anywhere. Once again, all you do is—stop. Stop telling your stigmata to project a physical body. Stop forcing yourself to exist. Stop acting separately, for that matter. In a sense, all you do is sit back and let Veliona take over. Possessed-by-a-demon powers, go… as someone now dead once told you, long ago.
So you relax, and when your body pops out of existence it's not the sensory deprivation it would once have been. Really, it barely makes a difference at all. All it means is you're focusing elsewhere, on what the stigmata's feeling…
You relax a bit too much, so when both of you pop back into existence in your writing-room you fall flat on your back. Veliona comes to rest standing, while you roll to your feet quickly.
"What?" you ask, cheeks heating as Vel laughs.
"Nothing," she says. "It's been a while since you've done that. Have a seat?"
You nod cautiously.
She sits on the bed, you sit down next to her, and you both stare at the writing table in silence. Nothing much has changed in here. There's a bed, a writing desk, and a checkerboard floor that seems to stretch off into infinity but actually just ends a few meters away. There's a brass lamp, which you spent weeks to make, years ago. There's also your diary—the real one, this time, inasmuch as pure software can be called 'real'. That's what you used to restore yourself after falling apart at the end of the world. It's just as well it's a detailed one.
Not something you have to worry about, really. It's only a few hundred pages, but that's enough. Far more than enough. It doesn't have to describe you precisely, only well enough to pick out 'Seele' from ten to the thousandth power possibilities. Sounds like a lot, but one or two dozen pages might be enough.
Roza and Lili would be bored silly in here. Maybe not Lili. She'd have fun reading it.
"I wanted to talk to you where Roz and Lils can't hear," Vel says, breaking the silence. "They're great, I know, but any more of this and I think they might break down. This is personal."
"I know what you mean," you say with a nod. "So, what's on your mind?"
What didn't she want them to know?
Vel looks down at the floor.
"…I don't know." Her voice is barely above a whisper, and she clears her throat after speaking.
You don't respond, waiting for her to elaborate. After some time she sighs, and begins to speak again.
"It's supposed to be…" She pauses, as if struggling to express herself. "It was supposed to be simple. I'm supposed to protect you. First priority, protect the archives; second priority, protect its bearer. Third, fight the Honkai. That was… that's what I remembered, when I woke up."
"…when I was ten?"
"I don't know. Maybe. I don't remember well that far back, it may have been a few years more. I was… I had my priorities, but almost as far back as I can remember I was struggling against them. Some 'AI' I was. I couldn't even follow commands correctly."
"So…"
"Your memories are hazy before the X-10 experiment, right?" she asks.
You nod.
"Well, so are mine," she says. "But I'm pretty sure you'd recognise some of them."
It takes you a moment to catch the implications. When you do, your eyes widen.
"You mean…"
"Not really," she says. "I checked. Of course I did. I'd need Rubia to be really sure, but there's definitely a lot of my mind that dates back to long before that happened. A lot…" She trails off. "Somewhere between eighty and ninety percent."
"But not everything," you say.
"Not everything. Some of it's less than a week old. That… really sucks. That really… really sucks." Her eyes are shining a little in the lamplight. She turns her head away from you, and you see tears running down her face. "That really sucks," she says, a little louder this time.
You put your arm around her and lean your head against hers. Her skin is warm and soft, her hair long and silky. After a while she sniffs and turns her head towards you, wiping her eyes with her hands.
Part of her mind is a copy of yours. Does that mean you overwrote hers, or–
You can't ask her that! You have to stop yourself from physically cringing just at the thought, and you hug her a little harder so she won't see your expression. If Vel found a part of her mind that's identical to yours–
There's only so many ways that could happen.
"Thanks for being here," she says.
"You're welcome, sis," you say. You have no intention of breaking this hug. Not for a long time.
She sits there for a while, sniffling.
…so it's definitely true, then. Almost exactly the way you suspected.
She's you. Or at least, part of her is you. You thought it was a one-time thing, and it wasn't; she's still losing parts of herself to you. If that doesn't make you twins, then you don't think anything would; even sharing a womb for nine months wouldn't compare.
You wish you could tell her that. But you know—both of you do—that the parts of Vel that are uniquely Vel are, sometimes, just the broken parts. You've seen her at her worst. You know. She's acting mostly like a normal person now, even more than earlier, but that's—wait…
"Then what did you find out there?" you demand, voice wavering slightly. "What happened to you? All of a sudden you're bringing this up– What did that dragon tell you?"
Vel looks down, sighs, then meets your eyes.
"Too many things," she says, shaking her head. "But if I have to pick? I'm scared I've already seen the future. I'm scared we're going to die. I'm scared that… why did we ever think we could survive when all of reality has died? The multiverse is a graveyard, and we're just body-snatchers."
How should you answer?
Vel is clever, and she knows you well. She'll see through a lie, so you need to pick your words carefully.
But you don't want to lie. You don't even want to try.
ooOOoo
Seele stopped moving, her body going bleached and see-through as it disappeared from existence with a sound like breaking glass. A few butterflies marked the event, where a different quantum shadow might have made a last-ditch attempt at skewering them.
"No matter how many times I see that, I'll never get used to it," Roza said, holding on to Lili's hand tightly.
"You're just a scaredy-cat," Lili told her. She automatically ducked as Roza swiped a hand at her head.
"I am not! I'm just… thinking," she said, glaring at the floor.
There was no other sound in the house but the two of them breathing, and it brought back bad memories of being trapped in the Hyperion's corridors.
At least, for Roza it did. Lili had been comatose for most of it, and she'd been alone. She wasn't now, Roza thought, but she was gaining quite the collection of nightmares. She flexed her hands. They felt wrong in some way, like the fingers in her right hand were thicker than they should be, but it wasn't something she could put her finger on. All puns intended.
"About what?" Lili asked.
Her stomach churned. "About… our next show!" she said. "Do you think we can put on a puppet show for Teri and the rest? No, actually– Let's get Teri into the cast. She'd love it." A smile grew on her face, as she warmed to the subject. "And then, we can do a play about pirates. I can be the hero!"
"But I want to be the hero!" Lili protested.
"You can be the…heroine's sister," Roza said, smirking evilly. "And I can marry the prince!"
"Shut up, you're not marrying anyone," Lili said, sticking her tongue out. "You'll just be a princess. Who would you be marrying anyway, Hans?"
Roza blushed.
"Oh no," Lili said, smirking. "You like Hans?"
"Shut up!" Roza said, pushing her away. Diversion successful! Embarrassing, yet successful. "He's just…he's a fun guy, that's all! I'm not marrying him!"
Lili's smirk grew wider. "Sure," she said.
"I'm not! I'm…not…" She fell silent.
"Not what?" Lili pressed.
"…we'll talk about it later," she said. "It can't go anywhere. I look like this, after all. Should we go look at Annie's mother?"
She'd had crushes before, when she was twelve. She'd never acted on them, because Lili was more important and because twelve-year-old boys were more likely to run away screaming than to give her the time of day. Hans wasn't like that, but he was in his twenties, so she was too young.
And even if she hadn't been, she still looked twelve.
"I kinda want to wait for the twins, but… yeah… let's go," Lili said, frowning.
'The twins.'
Roza giggled inwardly. That was one development she didn't mind in the least. It'd never be like before, but once they had Bronya back it'd almost be crowded again. She couldn't wait to see the look on Bronya's face. She had trouble enough with a single Seele; two was going to be chaos.
She took a deep breath, and exhaled. She could wait a little longer. It'd be worth it, not to worry Seele, and in her imagination they were playing with Bronya again.
"Let's go," she said, smiling weakly. "I want to do something for them."
ooOOoo
There was a minor commotion as they exited, but they met up with Carole and Rubia straight away, like she'd known they would. Leave it to Ruby to stay two steps ahead. With her help, they slipped through the crowd without any further problems.
Roza couldn't help but notice that Carole looked like a truck had hit her, a truck likely named 'Rubia'. Her hair was a mess, and she looked like she'd been crying. Even Ruby looked worried, though that might've been because of… well, two guesses why Ruby might want Carole well away from any other people today, Roza, and the first two don't count. She didn't need even a single one to figure that one out. It was okay; if anyone would be able to straighten Carole out it'd be Ruby, and also it was distracting her from paying too much attention to Roza. Or Lili, she suspected. Or Seele and Vel. She was less happy about that.
Ruby left them at the door of the village's makeshift hospital, if she could use such a word for the literal stone-age hut they'd sequestered Annie's mother in. No matter; it was sturdy, and most importantly, it had a roof. Where it lacked was…
Everything else.
The 'hospital' had two locals standing guard outside, and when they opened the door, the two deliberately stepped aside, quite a bit further than would be necessary to let them in.
The stench hit them first. The heavy air was cloying and laden with the smell of waste, making it hard to breathe. Carole and Ruby covered their noses, quickly leaving, but Roza and Lili had no such luck.
The second thing to hit them was the sound. A terrible wailing noise that was half cries of pain, half the snarls of Honkai zombies.
They made their way inside, Pip in tow as a guide, wishing they could be anywhere else.
"This is awful," Liliya said.
"Yeah." Roza had to agree.
There were enough beds for all the 'patients'. If, again, such a term could be used for Honkai-infected zombies pinned down with leather straps. Thirteen in all. There was no medication, not that she'd expected there'd be; their own universe had only barely begun producing a cure when it all ended. Neither was there anyone taking care of them, though Roza could sort of understand. The natives probably thought it was contagious, which… it was, if only in the broadest sense.
The guards outside… stayed outside, even with two complete aliens examining their most vulnerable. That, more than anything, told her they'd already given up. Well, Roza supposed her and Lili's demonic appearance didn't help, but Roza felt like it should have been obvious they weren't a threat, even if they were from another world.
"Which one is your mother?" she asked.
"The one on the left," Pip said.
Their mother, for all intents and purposes, looked dead. She was skeletally thin, her skin translucent enough that Roza could see the veins beneath. Glowing stripes in her skin told the tale that Roza had been expecting, and fearing, ever since Annie and Pip had told her their story. Late-stage Honkai infection.
The woman's eyes were glazed over, staring at nothing, but they followed Roza when she approached.
"Hello," she said, kneeling beside her. "I'm Rozaliya. Rozaliya Olenyeva. A friend of Rubia and Carole. I just want to check a few things, and then we'll leave you alone."
The woman nodded faintly. She looked like a frightened child, tormented and on the brink of tears.
"She… her name is Linda," Pip said, his voice breaking. "She sometimes talks a little. She hasn't in a long time, but…"
"It's alright," Roza said. "I don't need her to talk. I'm a doctor, remember? I can tell what's wrong with her. You don't need to worry."
Pip sniffled, wiping tears from his eyes.
"Alright," Roza said. "I need you to boil some water for me. Can you do that?"
"Yes," Pip said. "I'll bring it here when it's ready."
He left the room. Rozaliya sighed deeply, slumping against the wall. Liliya looked at her, and then quickly averted her gaze.
"We won't be able to save her," Lili said, her voice monotone. "We can slow down the infection, but not stop it. It's far too late for treatment."
"I know," Roza said.
"We could treat her," she said. "But she'll still die."
"...I know."
"Too much damage done already," Liliya said. She was speaking Estonian, small mercies; not the language used by the locals.
Rozaliya hurried to hug her, feeling her sister shake with frustration. They had an answer, that was the worst part. Liliya's treatments, and the vial of Schariac serum they'd brought just in case Einstein needed it, which she evidently didn't.
They could wipe out the infection. It would return, but not for a while. They couldn't undo the damage it had already done.
"It's okay," Roza whispered. "We'll find a solution."
Liliya had been little more than a child when she got the same news herself. She'd been trapped in her own body, slowly losing her strength and growing more and more tired, despite every treatment Cocolia had been able to acquire. She had no Honkai tolerance at all. Over the years, as Roza watched her twin sister fade away before her eyes, she'd become desperate.
That was why, really, she didn't even mind that they were losing their humanity. Liliya was okay now; she was healthy, and to Roza that was all that mattered. If there was some sort of payment, they'd pay it together.
She didn't care.
That's how it had always been with them. They were a pair, and they always would be.
All the experiments, all the surgeries they'd been through, all of it had been for Lili's sake. Roza couldn't remember a time when she'd ever been without her sister. All of her memories were shared with Liliya. She couldn't let her die; she'd die the same day.
"Think," Roza said, drumming her fingers on the wall. "Options. What can we do? There's got to be something."
"…does there?" Liliya asked.
= = =
Seele and Vel still don't have the full picture, but they're getting there. After this conversation they'll head out to see the dragon, not before—this is important, as Seele would say.
They've been thrown out of reality, dropped into a far harsher environment than the one they're from. For all their desperate battles against the Honkai, it never eroded reality itself. They've had some victories, but their situation remains fraught at best.
Veliona knows this better than any on the ship except for Seele, Schrödinger, or perhaps Durandal. Still, she's being more depressive than she ought to be. There's plenty of room for reassurance.
[ ] [Seele] "I don't know."
- The benefit of truth.
- Not very reassuring.
- Is this really an answer?
- It's really not.
- A solution? Or just a better form of reassurance?
- Creating their own universe is a wild dream. How can it be made real?
- What other options are there?
I use the AI as a dice replacement; it's better at it than the dice. Much better, in fact, since I don't need to list every possible outcome beforehand. I gave it every opportunity to think up something nicer, but I also explained to it exactly what is going on here. A few refreshes gave me a few different outcomes, but with that established, I always go with the first acceptable output.
This one is not, I suppose, unexpected. At least she still has her mind.
Those poor children…
Oh. Right. There are twelve other infected, too. It doesn't make Pip and Annie's tragedy less of a tragedy, but it's not unique. These just happen to be the two children we first ran into.
[ ] [Roza] Talk to Linda
- Ask her what? Tell her what?
- [ ] Ask about Annie, Jane and Pip.
- She has no doubts as to her own prognosis.
- [ ] Try to reassure her.
- But how does one reassure a dying mother?
- [ ] Write-in.
- Rubia once told you a story from when she was young. She'd come across a village, one much like this one, where the sole survivor was a young girl who was dying from Honkai infection. All she could do was grant her one final, beautiful dream.
- She thought, with the benefit of having lived two years since then, that perhaps she should have granted a different one. The world-wise logic of an (estimated) fourteen-year-old, thinking her twelve-year-old self somewhat of an idiot. She wasn't wrong.
- Acceptance.
- All this would do on its own is prolong Linda's suffering, if it doesn't outright kill her. Without an intravenous supply of nutrition, her body is close to death from starvation. The nanites aren't magic, and still need sugar to work, but it is doubtful that Linda could eat no matter what.
- This does not mean there are no options at all.
- It does mean Roza cannot currently think of any.
- Struggle.
- Roza would prefer if Seele never sees this at all, and if she's going to ask her for help, she wants to be absolutely sure Seele will indeed be able to help. Her opinion is that Seele is ductile, not fragile. She bends; she doesn't break. But Seele has already bent quite far enough.
- Roza would like to once again stress that she does not want to do this.
- Summer.
- Roza does not feel nearly comfortable enough to do this, and is quite frankly a bit scared of her. They're connecting, a little, but she has no particular reason to think Vel would be able to help.
- Such reasons do exist. If you can think of them, then so can Roza.
- Winter.
- "There are thoughts Rozaliya is unwilling to think. If so, then it can be my role to think them."
- This will achieve something impossible.
- Desperation.
- Since when has the best option ever been a simple one?
- The Joker.
Votes are by plan.
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I think this vote I'm going to largely be deferential on because I can't be sure how in-character my first thoughts on replies are.
For Seele's answer, I was thinking something along the lines of, "We didn't, it was never guaranteed. But that doesn't mean we can give up. Even if we're scared, we still owe it to Bronya, Lili, Roza, and the others to try the best we can - for their sake, if not for ours. And I want us to keep living for your sake too, sis. After so much time of not understanding you I want to try and make up for that lost time and that means we need to keep time going." Again though, whether that's in Seele's character to say or if it's even a good thing to say in this situation I'm not sure.
For Lili/Roza... well, that just really sucks, even if it was always likely to turn out that way. As much as I hate it, I'm leaning towards accepting that it's too late to do anything and instead try to reassure her that we're going to protect this village and that her children will be okay. But I also admit I have no idea if there's some experiment/idea we can use to try and solve this. I'm reluctant to go there unless we think there's a real shot at success.
For Seele's answer, I was thinking something along the lines of, "We didn't, it was never guaranteed. But that doesn't mean we can give up. Even if we're scared, we still owe it to Bronya, Lili, Roza, and the others to try the best we can - for their sake, if not for ours. And I want us to keep living for your sake too, sis. After so much time of not understanding you I want to try and make up for that lost time and that means we need to keep time going." Again though, whether that's in Seele's character to say or if it's even a good thing to say in this situation I'm not sure.
For Lili/Roza... well, that just really sucks, even if it was always likely to turn out that way. As much as I hate it, I'm leaning towards accepting that it's too late to do anything and instead try to reassure her that we're going to protect this village and that her children will be okay. But I also admit I have no idea if there's some experiment/idea we can use to try and solve this. I'm reluctant to go there unless we think there's a real shot at success.
- Location
- Wingmaiden's Reach, the Near Roofs, Town
- Pronouns
- She/Her
Schrödinger and Durandal confirmed to be on the ship! You heard it here first, everyone! Though "on the ship" is a kind of complicated and unsafe situation.
Absolutely true facts no takebacks @Baughn
...
well then.
Either you, or the AI, or the situation, or some combination thereof are really, really fond of these sorts of awful choice forks and it is a lot of pressure.
I kind of miss the days when the debate was "how thoroughly should we murder this here fire?"
well, whatever
Hmm
- Problem: Veliona is having a panic attack and existential crisis about LOTS OF THINGS
- This is tricky because, um, at least in my personal experience there really aren't any good ways to reassure someone who is having the kind of anxiety attack where they're convinced they're going to die. Even when those fears are unfounded. And, well, Vel's ... Vel's fears here are extremely founded.
- If someone does know a good way to deal with that holy carp tell me tell me tell me I am so fucking tired of losing weeks at a time to curled-in-a-ball rocking-and-sobbing.
- This is tricky because, um, at least in my personal experience there really aren't any good ways to reassure someone who is having the kind of anxiety attack where they're convinced they're going to die. Even when those fears are unfounded. And, well, Vel's ... Vel's fears here are extremely founded.
- Also problem: Linda is in extremely bad shape and her prognosis is essentially "no" barring experimental science fun times or a literal miracle.
- You know a while back I did one of my "pretend this is Chuubo's" things and brought up Answers to the Bleak; and while this isn't quite on point I think they also work generally just as, like - as prompts, for how to deal with situations that seem awful and unacceptable, where there appears to be no good choices or hopes for happy endings. Also, I find it easier to think about stuff on abstract symbolic layers than on nitty-gritty detailed layers.
So in that light ...- Acceptance is ... "You may draw the curtain before the stage goes dark." The non-answer. Sometimes, there genuinely is nothing you can do but accept defeat with grace and dignity.
- Struggle is "You may cling to that which becomes unmade." A delaying tactic, and not a solution. But it means fighting. It means kicking and biting and scrabbling for the tiniest scrap of hope; not even for the smallest and meanest victories, but simply for not losing. But if you keep from losing for long enough, maybe the situation will change enough that you can win.
- Desperation is "A gamble may save you, if luck is kind." The time for gambles is when you are already losing. But they are called gambles because they carry the risk of failure. Nothing ventured, nothing gained - but also nothing lost.
- Summer and Winter strike me as, frankly, bad ideas. Seele and Vel have enough on their plates as it is. If someone thinks otherwise, please explain.
- You know a while back I did one of my "pretend this is Chuubo's" things and brought up Answers to the Bleak; and while this isn't quite on point I think they also work generally just as, like - as prompts, for how to deal with situations that seem awful and unacceptable, where there appears to be no good choices or hopes for happy endings. Also, I find it easier to think about stuff on abstract symbolic layers than on nitty-gritty detailed layers.
Remember how this quest works, and that voting for narrative directions is usually pretty effective.
Like, what sort of story do we want? How do we want this plot thread to proceed?
Do we want a story about ... about how bad things happen, and sometimes there's nothing you can do but accept that?
Do we want this story, about Roza and Lili and Linda, to be one about fighting? About not going gently? About desperate, frantic struggle?
Do we want a story about big, dramatic risks? About Liliya trying something dangerous and probably foolish, about her wagering it all on a risky gamble that might not pay off?
Do we want something else, some other direction? The wild card is always there, if someone has an idea of how to play it.
And bear in mind that there's no guarantee these will work. That's not the point of Making Answer to the Bleak. They're chances, not guarantees. Prompts, to offer a direction that might lead to success.
I still need to think about what I want, but ... I guess, just, think about that?
Snowfire
Polyglot of Chimera
- Location
- Wordcats
A point to remember here on the latter score: Kiana/Sirin still possess the Gem of Serenity. Which, from the example of 2nd Impact, allows essentially arbitrary levels of biomanipulation.
If it can't fix this, I'll eat my hat. And I'm of the opinion that Kiana is durable above and beyond even usual Valk tolerances due to unconscious use of the Gem.
Baughn
Healing-type writer
- Location
- Dublin
That's okay. I'll have the AI do that for me. They're not on the ship.
...and I almost didn't want to respond at all, just because your post was such a perfect response, I want to make sure it's what people will think about.
However, I'm going to add some comments anyway.
On the one hand, yes, Veliona has extremely good reasons to be scared. She also has to re-learn how to cope with fear, after going years largely unable to feel it, and yes, that's where a lot of the problem is coming from.
On the other, she isn't quite having a panic attack. Yet.
...do we want it to be, even more, about that?
Fighting? Not going gently? Spending their years in a bitter, desperate struggle to stay just one year ahead of the sickness... then one month, just one more month... We haven't seen that much of the twins' backstory, except by the shadow it casts. Rozaliya finally made a desperate, foolish choice, one she was too delirious to remember.
Liliya's original prognosis was she'd be dead by eleven. If Cocolia hadn't fought for her, that's what would have happened. If Rozaliya hadn't spent her entire life fighting for her sister, then Liliya would long since have given up. And no, Liliya isn't a pushover either. There are millions of children like her, who grew up at the edge of the Second Impact's zone of Honkai contamination... the vast majority of them died. The remainder are like Roza, Bronya or Seele, with abnormally high Honkai tolerance.
And then there's Liliya.
She'd have been fine if Cocolia had sent them over to the AE headquarters in America, mind you. I can never make up my mind about that woman. I'm not sure she knew. That's probably what happened with the Gemina twins, considering their backstory.
...
Roza was always expecting she'd one day be alone.
The summer/winter choices exist to provide some context to a potential vote for asking their help, by the way. There needs to be good reasoning behind it, or Roza will outright refuse to honor such a vote.
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Baughn
Healing-type writer
- Location
- Dublin
In other words the Core of Death could save her, if used competently. Yes, I believe I agree.
It would be practically impossible to fetch Sirin in time, due to the time dilation, and I'm not entirely sure Theresa would go along with that plan either. Otherwise, yes, if we had one of those it could work.
... although I think this falls under "desperation", not "struggle".
- Location
- Wingmaiden's Reach, the Near Roofs, Town
- Pronouns
- She/Her
Also probably either "summer" or "winter," I should think?
The Gem of Serenity seems to have opinions about who gets to hold it, and I'm not certain Liliya meets those criteria. Not Seele enough; nor the living Honkai piñata that Kiana and Sirin are.
Baughn
Healing-type writer
- Location
- Dublin
True, true. Liliya doesn't qualify. Not in any universe. Thrice over, she is excluded from becoming a Herrscher.
Snowfire
Polyglot of Chimera
- Location
- Wordcats
Answer to that is pretty simple. Take Linda to her instead of the other way around. We've seen the Death Core create life - albeit soulless without help from the HoS - in seconds flat. When HoV used it in Second Impact it created a person in around ten seconds.
Doing the math, the time dilation factor between the Hyperion and this bubble is roughly 1:312.86. Everything you've told us is that Linda is stable for now, just not fixable with what Roza has on hand. Send a message through, asking for Kiana to meet at the breach as soon as possible.
Take Linda there - this will cover a good portion of the required time for Kiana to come to the portal. Take Linda through - yes, this requires Seele to help but she'll be back soon and despite the phrasing this decision isn't one that needs immediate reaction.
Kiana/Sirin heal her. Let's say this takes them a little longer than it took HoV, 30-60 seconds.This translates to...a maximum of 5.2 hours on the other side. Seele can return immediately and come back for Linda the next day, too. Which would provide a full four and a half minutes for Kiana&Sirin to work on it.
Innovation, I think. It's not desperation if they know it should work.
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- Location
- Wingmaiden's Reach, the Near Roofs, Town
- Pronouns
- She/Her
On the plus side, several extra days to think.
On the minus side, no actual access to the updoot, which made planning harder.
mmmmmRRRRglblegh
I'm not willing to commit to Roza/Lili votes until I have a good Seele vote and I don't and it is frustrate
bleh.
On the minus side, no actual access to the updoot, which made planning harder.
mmmmmRRRRglblegh
I'm not willing to commit to Roza/Lili votes until I have a good Seele vote and I don't and it is frustrate
bleh.