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Riverdale is the worst show on television and you should all be watching.

Raging Dragon said:
Gah. I love to hate this show. My guess is that S&S was an accident they wish we would all forget.
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Could well be.

-Parent Rankings: Best Dad is Fred Andrews, duh. Worst Dad is FP Jones, Jr. who is apparently so stuck on his own experience with G&G that he's thwarting his son's attempt to put a stop to it. (Hiram Lodge was surpisngly not bad this week) Worst Mom is Alice Cooper, ditto; plus, y'know the whole "trying to get her daughter to join a cult" thing. There is no Best Mom, as no other Mom'ing occurred.

-I am so stoked for next week, you have no idea. Though given that each of our main cast members can only play one of their parents, who they're gonna have play the others?
 
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Well, that was a blast and a half!


-No Parent Rankings. Although, while we don't see 'em, I have to say that asides from Fred's dad (who has the excuse of the fact that he's dying), all of their parents come off pretty poorly. Like, we've got almost a dozen kids regularly sneaking out of the house at midnight for months, and none of them noticed?

-I'm sure someone predicted that they'd have the actor who played Jason to play young Cliff, kudos to you for that.

-Young Hal is...just some guy, who doesn't really participate, which is a shame.

-No young Miles McCoy, Mrs. Keller, or Mrs. Jones. Also no young Mary, which saddens me given that she's undoubtedly Best Parent.

-How great was it to see FP wearing a crown? It's a multi-level reference...and Oh my blog, did they start the whole Serpent King thing just because of Jughead's iconic headwear?

-How the fuck did the Blossoms get away with that shit?

-Also, this makes Alice and Hal's decision to keep using the Sisters even worse, if they already knew back then how awful they were.

-Wait, so we're presenting Sierra and Tom as having always been soulmates. That's a bit weird. Like, OK, screw Miles, he's a jackass, but I feel sorry for the as-yet-unseen Mrs. Keller.

-Note that all of the main cast got to play a verrry different character...except KJ Apa and Ross Butler. Granted, Butler didn't get all that much to do, but this would seem to suggest the writers don't have as much faith in KJ's acting abilities.

-Also, I dunno, Fred's interaction with Archie in Season 1 didn't exactly play as someone who went through the exact same music-or-sports thing at that age?

-Also, let's face it, that G&G thing and the current G&G thing don't seem all that similar.

-Kinda disappointed that Hiram and Fred didn't really compete over Hermione, as had previously been implied.

-Note that for all Alice's talk about them being strangers to each other before and after, Fred and FP remained close friends until years later.

Also, some links I found today:

First off, I discovered a fascinating time capsule, an attempt at Parent Rankings from in the middle of Season 1, which is marvelously off-base given what we've learned since:
Who's the Worst Parent on Riverdale? An Investigation

Second, since most of the Riverdale parents are played by actors who were "teen" stars in the '90s, a side-by-side comparison:
https://www.vulture.com/2018/11/riverdale-flashback-episode-teen-parents.html

Finally, the music video:


BTW, in your opinion what are the best and worst of Riverdale's countless musical sequences?
 
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I've figured out why no young Mary; because as the closest thing This Show has to a sane person, she would've been too sensible to get involved in this nonsense.

That said, I still would like an explanation for why G&G was different in the '90s than today; like, up until Ascension Day it was a perfectly normal RPG (and then, that was because of a sudden Gargoyle King Interrupt), whereas in the modern day it's a full-on Memetic Hazard that has multiple kids going nuts.

Also, it occurs to me that having Dilton's father involved back in the day was a misstep, because now that we know he exists, his lack of presence becomes jarring.

Unless it turns out something untoward happened to him for unrelated reasons in the intervening period. Which actually might explain a few things about Dilton.
 
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Seriously even in the 90's, Penelope's situation wouldn't be something that's just ignored. How is it none of them felt the need to go to the cops
 
Cambion said:
Seriously even in the 90's, Penelope's situation wouldn't be something that's just ignored. How is it none of them felt the need to go to the cops
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Because that's Riverdale for you.

The closest thing to the police is when the Punisher comes to town to chaperone a dance for some reason. Everything else ... you take care of on your own.
 
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So, parent rankings...

-Worst Dad: Hiram Lodge, for gloating about how he put his daughter's boyfriend in prison. And possibly paying to have him killed. Dishonorable mention to Marty Mantle, for hitting his son, although given Reggie's...Reggieness it would not surprise me if however he broached the rather sensitive subject of G&G was offensive enough to warrant an extreme reaction, although not one THAT extreme.

-Worst Mom: Hermione Lodge, who is apparently more upset by the effect the escape and Warden Norton's fight club has on her then the fact that her daughter just committed a major felony.

-Best Dad: Forsythe Pendeleton Jones, Jr. Because he finally explained what's going on (he loses points for having to be confronted, but this was not exactly a good episode on the parenting front)

-Best Mom: Sierra McCoy, by default.
 
G&G is officially on some Jumanji level shit. I wonder if Grandpa Andrew's death was as natural as it seems, given the Gargoyle King's interest in the family
 
Wi'se said:
I don't know wth is with this show. It's such a mess, but it's as addicting as crack.
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thats it for me I WANT TO STOP WATCHING IT.

ITS A FUCKING TRAINWRECK.

but I can't stop I have resorted to watching Reaction videos of riverdale by like 7 different people because I NEEED MY RIVERDALE FIX

I have seen the episodes all at least 3 times.

I have been binging the fanfiction.

SERIOUSLY WTF WHY DO I LOVE THIS SHOW. I feel like if I don't see like an hours worth of riverdale a day I WILL CRACK.

I didn't know this was possible. I still fangasm at scenes that are at least 2 years old. This show is like a bad addiction I refuse to kick.


also aside from that.

I really do not get peoples complaints about Kevin Like at all. (tho in general I don't get peoples thing with Glee its not well written but I can literally not count the numerous amounts of gays that act like Kevin, hell compared to me Kevin super masculine and Butch,. though again thats my overexposure to the community talking)
 
I just finally got to watching the midnight club.


I didn't know Riverdale could get so much more ridiculous.

krinsbez said:
Well, that was a blast and a half!


-No Parent Rankings. Although, while we don't see 'em, I have to say that asides from Fred's dad (who has the excuse of the fact that he's dying), all of their parents come off pretty poorly. Like, we've got almost a dozen kids regularly sneaking out of the house at midnight for months, and none of them noticed?

-I'm sure someone predicted that they'd have the actor who played Jason to play young Cliff, kudos to you for that.

-Young Hal is...just some guy, who doesn't really participate, which is a shame.

-No young Miles McCoy, Mrs. Keller, or Mrs. Jones. Also no young Mary, which saddens me given that she's undoubtedly Best Parent.

-How great was it to see FP wearing a crown? It's a multi-level reference...and Oh my blog, did they start the whole Serpent King thing just because of Jughead's iconic headwear?

-How the fuck did the Blossoms get away with that shit?

-Also, this makes Alice and Hal's decision to keep using the Sisters even worse, if they already knew back then how awful they were.

-Wait, so we're presenting Sierra and Tom as having always been soulmates. That's a bit weird. Like, OK, screw Miles, he's a jackass, but I feel sorry for the as-yet-unseen Mrs. Keller.

-Note that all of the main cast got to play a verrry different character...except KJ Apa and Ross Butler. Granted, Butler didn't get all that much to do, but this would seem to suggest the writers don't have as much faith in KJ's acting abilities.

-Also, I dunno, Fred's interaction with Archie in Season 1 didn't exactly play as someone who went through the exact same music-or-sports thing at that age?

-Also, let's face it, that G&G thing and the current G&G thing don't seem all that similar.

-Kinda disappointed that Hiram and Fred didn't really compete over Hermione, as had previously been implied.

-Note that for all Alice's talk about them being strangers to each other before and after, Fred and FP remained close friends until years later.

Also, some links I found today:

First off, I discovered a fascinating time capsule, an attempt at Parent Rankings from in the middle of Season 1, which is marvelously off-base given what we've learned since:
Who's the Worst Parent on Riverdale? An Investigation

Second, since most of the Riverdale parents are played by actors who were "teen" stars in the '90s, a side-by-side comparison:
https://www.vulture.com/2018/11/riverdale-flashback-episode-teen-parents.html

Finally, the music video:


BTW, in your opinion what are the best and worst of Riverdale's countless musical sequences?
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Best is probably Union of the Snake, I feel Love (that synth is killer) and probably the Duet with Betty and Veronica in A night to remember.

OH how could I forget Spooky I LOOOOVE that song by Dusty springfield and Ashleigh brings some oomph to the track.

OO you'll Never Walk alone as well.

OOH Jailhouse rock. tbh I always felt Elvis was just lacking something (PLEASE DON'T LYNCH ME)

Worst, I don't hate Kids in America its just kinda flat, I'll try is not bad its just bland.


Oh lets see Bittersweet symphony was just awkward, Mad World.... DO I EVEN NEED TO SAY WHY.... betty honey no I have done some odd things to be sexy and seen people act and be sexy to some of the strangest things MAD WORLD IS NOT A STRIP TEASE SONG.

Milkshake... YOU WILL NOT MAKE ME LIKE THIS SONG RIVERDALE. I hate the original by Kelis.


Most of Season 1 to be honest.


EDIT: yup This is the most gloriously stupid show I have ever seen. You somehow made D&D in the 90's look about as smooth as any craze.

You offically are on my "immune to criticism list"

well that and the Queer Pandering.


I got to the part with Dream warriors.... fuck me THAT WAS GOOD.

Like Damn I got chills.
 
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i UH The great escape....

Yeah Riverdale whatever sanity whatever Normalcy you had has offically been abandoned in roadside ditch with two shots to the head.

EDIT: I am at the end of Chapter 40.....

Its official this show is going full Smallville whatever sanity whatever grasp on the consistent that could be had HAS BEEN SHOT AND KILLED.
 
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Well, let's get the most important thing out of the way; Parent Rankings!

-This one is tricky, on the one hand, Alice Cooper sending yet another daughter into the clutches of the Sisters of Quiet Mercy would normally earn her the crown, but it comes from a genuine desire to protect Betty, and after that horrorshow, I can't blame her. Meanwhile, Hermione Lodge displays an appalling lack of awareness WRT her daughter's activities. I mean, for pete's sake, it was HER office Veronica was arrested for breaking into, how did she not know about it? I genuinely can't decide which is Worst Mom. Regardless, Sierra McCoy is Best Mom by default.

-I think Tom Keller and Fred Andrews did some fairly strong Dading in this episode, Midnight Club-related obfuscations aside, and so I am reasonably comfortable declaring Best Dad to be a draw between them. Worst Dad, of course, has a clear winner in Hiram Lodge, who not only refuses to help deal with the danger the children of Riverdale are in due to G&G, but actively refuses to acknowledge it, AND leaves his daughter in a prison cell, AND continues to be creepy about Archie; you'd think Forsythe Pendleton Jones, Jr. would be a candidate for handcuffing his son to a refrigerator, but see what I said about Alice Cooper.

-Anyways, so Daryl Doiley IS dead. The writers are more on the ball than I gave 'em credit for.

-But I'm not alone in that, since last week everyone was rolling their eyes about how Archie managed to not get his stab wound infected, and in this episode it turned out he did!

-RIP Joaquin. Man the secondary characters are dropping like flies this season.

-OK, I'm convinced, I can't see how the Gargoyle King can not be magic.

-What's up with Penelope Blossom, she's acting almost like a human being in this episode!?

-How is it possible that the Sisters of Quiet Mercy manage to get even creepier every time they're mentioned?

-So, Minetta's gone; who's gonna be the new Sheriff?
 
krinsbez said:
Well, let's get the most important thing out of the way; Parent Rankings!

-This one is tricky, on the one hand, Alice Cooper sending yet another daughter into the clutches of the Sisters of Quiet Mercy would normally earn her the crown, but it comes from a genuine desire to protect Betty, and after that horrorshow, I can't blame her. Meanwhile, Hermione Lodge displays an appalling lack of awareness WRT her daughter's activities. I mean, for pete's sake, it was HER office Veronica was arrested for breaking into, how did she not know about it? I genuinely can't decide which is Worst Mom. Regardless, Sierra McCoy is Best Mom by default.

-I think Tom Keller and Fred Andrews did some fairly strong Dading in this episode, Midnight Club-related obfuscations aside, and so I am reasonably comfortable declaring Best Dad to be a draw between them. Worst Dad, of course, has a clear winner in Hiram Lodge, who not only refuses to help deal with the danger the children of Riverdale are in due to G&G, but actively refuses to acknowledge it, AND leaves his daughter in a prison cell, AND continues to be creepy about Archie; you'd think Forsythe Pendleton Jones, Jr. would be a candidate for handcuffing his son to a refrigerator, but see what I said about Alice Cooper.

-Anyways, so Daryl Doiley IS dead. The writers are more on the ball than I gave 'em credit for.

-But I'm not alone in that, since last week everyone was rolling their eyes about how Archie managed to not get his stab wound infected, and in this episode it turned out he did!

-RIP Joaquin. Man the secondary characters are dropping like flies this season.

-OK, I'm convinced, I can't see how the Gargoyle King can not be magic.

-What's up with Penelope Blossom, she's acting almost like a human being in this episode!?

-How is it possible that the Sisters of Quiet Mercy manage to get even creepier every time they're mentioned?

-So, Minetta's gone; who's gonna be the new Sheriff?
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the answer to the gargoyle king has to be "shut up and enjoy the stupid"

Penelope has a great actress IDK.

Because Catholic Schools have mastered the art of being fucking creepy.

even when they are low effort they still find a way to creep people the fuck out.

IDK But keep bringing on the hot Latin men I like me some Latin men.



Also Fucking hell kevin your Built more than Archie you are closer to my husband in Musculature.

and he fucking bodybuilds.
 
If Archie is gonna go on the lamb, then losing that bright blood hair is a must
 
-Only two parents showed up this week, so no Parent Rankings.

-Wait, I thought G&G was exclusive to Riverdale?

-Oh, Ronnie.

-Hey, Ethel's alive!

-Aaaand she's gone full villain.`:(

-Though how this-show is it to finally bring on her classic character trait in as creepy a fashion as possible?

-What bugs me is that everytime they discuss G&G's lore, the Gargoyle King is the bad guy, so how is it that folk end up worshiping him?

-Betty, no.
 



So this video made me realize why I fucking love this show.

ITS TRASHY FANFICTION. Its indulgent, it does shit that any other show would be laughed at for, and most importantly its aware it isn't high art and its not trying to be its like the trashy fanfiction I love with Character Bashing, Villains that aren't all that good but are SO FUCKING HATEABLE, Pairings that exist for no other reason than "I WANT IT", Plot points that are done for no other reason than "it sounds interesting" its not well written OH GODS NO but it just fucking indulges in every terrible aspect of itself.


basically. "I know what I am writing is fucking stupid that doesn't mean that my characters have to."


Or to put another way, Riverdale is the reason that Saints Row 4 is fucking good and Sunset Overdrive is fucking terrible.

The former is stupid in every way Riverdale is but the characters still treat it as if its completely serious but the writers don't.

The latter is self aware in the worst way the characters become self aware.


Good Self awareness is when it only extends to the writer and not the characters. because it creates PERFECT schlock.


Thats how you do good Trash the same way trashy fanfiction does. The writer is aware what they are writing is fucking stupid but the characters don't and BOOM you got crack cocaine given life.
 
-For a change, Parent Rankings are pretty easy this week; Penelope Blossom is Worst Mom, Gladys Jones is Best Mom, Hiram Lodge is Worst Dad, Fred Andrews is Best Dad.

-Jellybean is awesome. Like, seriously, everything she does even her perving on Archie, comes off great.

-So, the big themes this week seem to be walking stuff back and our heroes torturing people.

-Although, thinking on it, is it deliberate that all the torturing is done by women, to women?

-Anyways, they finally remembered that the Legion of Doom from last season's finale is a thing, although Minetta is now dead and it seems like Malachai's been cut out?

-Wait, how many patients were there at the Sisters of Quiet Mercy?

-I was not expecting them to reference Watchmen on this show, and yet...

-I can't decide if Ronnie's constantly forgetting that she and her friends are children is funny or annoying.

-Also, Hiram seems to be gunning for the Blossom's "creepy-incest-vibes" crown in his interactions with Ronnie.
 
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