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Riverdale is the worst show on television and you should all be watching.

Hiram offers Archie the dream of "the safest small town in America" — a perfect town with its own self-contained economy totally fueled by local businesses, a town where the rich guy down the road has servants and no discernible skills besides feeding on other people's money but is ultimately a good-hearted grump with a beautiful daughter. A town where the most pressing question is how to take two girls to the same dance. It sounds pleasant enough, as long as you don't think about whose backs are paving the streets.

The old archetype of the trusting, good-natured boy scout has produced some powerful characters, but it comes with pretty clear authoritarian undertones that are worth exploring. Archie in the 1950s might have been struggling to balance dates with Betty and Veronica, but Archie in 2018 is busy leading a group of indistinguishable jocks to break up a protest on behalf of a rich criminal. It's possible — even likely — that Archie will eventually turn on Hiram and help Jughead save the town. But if and when that happens, it won't erase the fact that Archie — and the sort of blithe Americana he represents — was more than willing to sell out the town for the illusion of security. Archie may continue to try to pursue the dream of the old Riverdale but, for him and for us, there's no going back.
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Yeah it's pretty shady but so were the Blossoms for the past century, and they were a hundred times the bloodstreaked crime family the Lodges ever were.

I'm not seeing how the town is getting sold out by the prison. They get built literally all the time. Archie's chain breaker squad was some horrific optics and insanely shitty friendship but Jughead's stand over the school was pretty dumb at the end of the day. Until literally a day before the protest he was practically the only person in town who had ever given a shit about southside high, which is itself strange since he'd only gone there for three days (and got the shit kicked out of him to boot). The fact that anybody joined him at all was totally baffling. Everyone at that protest was like 'lol fuck this place' when the school was shut down and now they're chaining themselves to it two days later?
 
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Finally got around to watching this week's episode.

-RIP Midge, we quite literally hardly knew ye.

-Aww Yiss, the Jalopy! YAY!:cool::D:cool::D

-How THIS SHOW is it that what checks Archie's spiral into fascist gangsterism is a car?

-Speaking of which, anyone have any thoughts on the various character course-corrections happening this week?

-Anyways Parent Rankings! Worst Mom, is, of course, Penelope Blossom. And as she's only other character who did any mom'ing tonight, that makes Alice Cooper Best Mom.

-There was only two pieces of dad'ing this week and both were pretty great, but I guess Fred Andrews' was better, so he gets Best Dad. I don't really want to say that Tom Keller is the Worst Dad, but his dad moment was fairly low-effort, so I suppose that makes him so by default.

-I love how they have an excuse for the cast to break into song, but they use the Musical World Hypothesis anyways. So, This Show.
 
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I like musical episodes in general. Overall I liked it. Not sure of Midge is dead for sure, but otherwise, oh well who cares.
 
So, this one required a bit of thinking WRT Parent Rankings, given that the theme of the episode was "Adults Are Useless, Only Kids Can Get Things Done". It can also vary depending on whether the last scene's implication that Hal Cooper is the Black Hood is accurate.

-If it is, then Hal Cooper is Worst Dad. If not, that'll be Hiram Lodge, who A: lied to his daughter, and B: didn't even notice her stealing a huge amount of cash from his safe, or agreeing to allow a known creep to have his way with her. If he isn't the Black Hood, Hal Cooper still makes only a token objection to the insanity revolving around Chick, makes no effort to aid the situation, and is oblivious to what's happening with Betty. Only slightly better is Fred Andrews, who does nothing to prevent his son from once again sliding into a Black Hood-induced madness and likewise doesn't seem to notice his son being kidnapped by thugs. Tom Keller does nothing objectionable but doesn't really do anything positive either, which somehow makes FP Jones stopping his son from torturing a man* Best Dad.

-Worst Mom is also tricky. Hermione Lodge does an actively bad thing (suggest her daughter manipulate an emotionally-unstable friend), but it's relatively mild, and she doesn't push it. Meanwhile, while Alice Cooper doesn't do anything that is actively wrong this episode, she allows her daughter to hold a man captive, and is so wrapped up in her own issues that she doesn't realize that her daughter is being stalked by a serial killer or becoming an accessory to murder. I...honestly cannot say which of them is Best Mom and which is Worst. EDIT: I suppose I should give Best Mom to Mrs. Klump, who does nothing particularly objectionable, but she's more of a plot device to get the fire-the-Sheriff train rolling than an actual character.

-I have definitely become desensitized to the general ridiculousness of this show, as the only thing that stuck out to me as stretching my SoD was the fact that the River-Vixens have all-black mourning uniforms, rather than say, Sheriff Keller interrogating a bunch of teenagers with no parent, guardian, or lawyer present.

-BTW, does the fact that everyone (except Fred) immediately jumped on Archie for forming the Red Circle but no one says boo about Cheryl doing the same damn thing count as a double standard?

*Three years ago, I could have never imagined I'd be watching a show in which Sexy Bad Boy Biker Gang Leader Jughead tries to beat the truth out of a man tied up in Betty's basement, and yet, here we are.
 
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Double-post, I know, but I'm curious; given that I've almost doubled it's size with various edits, I'm curious as to what versions got the three separate Funny ratings the above post received before I was done.
 
-WTF, MOOSE "didn't want to seem like a jealous boyfriend"? MOOSE? o_O:rolleyes::eyebrow::wtf::rolleyes::confused::jackiechan::facepalm:

-Seriously, Moose knows that one of the Serpents was making time with Midge, and Reggie is the one who insists on going after them? Again, WTF?o_O`:rolleyes:`:confused:o_O:rolleyes::confused::eyebrow::wtf::rolleyes::confused::jackiechan::facepalm:

-Also, it looks like Archie is 90% back to his senses.

-Where were Fangs' parents?

-Anyways, parent rankings. Again, if Hal Cooper is the Black Hood, he is Worst Dad, but if not, Hiram Lodge is, not so much about what he does (which on paper is 90% acceptable parenting), but how he does it. Although, see above. Best Dad would be Fred Andrews for finally talking to Archie about what he's going through, except that the fact that he's only doing so now is so weak that, if Hal Cooper isn't the Black Hood, his efforts to help Betty feel better about that situation might nominate him for the position. Worst Mom is Hermione Lodge for supporting her husband being awful to their daughter (though again, see above), while Best Mom is Alice Cooper for being supportive of hers.

-So, who leaked the footage?

-So, do you think Elio was just trying to scare off the competition, or is Archie actually being targeted by Papa Poutine's son?

-Who, of course, is named Smallfry. Although, honestly, that does kinda sound like the kind of nickname the son of a mob boss who's front is a chain of poutine joints would have.

-The Serpent Huddle. Good lord. It's so silly it may actually come around the other side and become awesome.

-Poor Archie, for once he does the right thing and it backfires atrociously.

-DAT ENDING.:o
 
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So best dads are the golden trio of Sheriff Keller, F.P. and Fred. While some fuckin how, Hiraim is tied with Hal

I guess Cheryl is getting ready to move to Star City
 
HOLY. CRAP.

Do you think they really did it? Did they really kill off Jughead?

Cambion said:
So best dads are the golden trio of Sheriff Keller, F.P. and Fred. While some fuckin how, Hiraim is tied with Hal
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Eh, I dunno. He put his daughter in danger, but isn't outright threatening to murder her.

I think Alice Cooper is better than Hermione Lodge.

I guess Cheryl is getting ready to move to Star City
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Hah, I had the exact same thought.
 
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