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Riverdale is the worst show on television and you should all be watching.

-Holy...

-Do you think they really did it?

-Anyways, Parent Rankings: Alice Cooper wins Worst Mom by default (though it's kind a weird that Josie got attacked and Sierra didn't respond at all); technically she should also win Best Mom by same, but no. Worst Dad is, of course, Hiram Lodge, while Best Dad by default (Fred doesn't count the only Dad'ing he did was via hallucination) goes to FP Jones, Jr.

-So Fangs does have a parent...and we have an an explanation why she was not present during his arrest/etc.

-"Glamberge" Really?

-So, the Sisters are fakes, hah!

-Wait, the Sisters know the whole Gargoyle King thing is a scam, so why are they blue-lipping?

-So, uhhh, why are Cheryl and Toni doing this?
 
Cambion said:
Sadly I don't think the writers have the balls to do it
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And give the man a no-prize!

-Parent-rankings; again, this was pretty easy; there were only two examples of dad'ing here, and it's pretty easy to give best Dad to Fred Andrews and Worst Dad to Hal Cooper (that said, Fred is once again being almost absurdly passive in the face of his son's self-destructive tendencies, and there's something weirdly sweet about Hal's creepy attempt to reconnect with Betty). And there's only one example of mom'ing, so it becomes equally easy to judge that Alice Cooper was Worst Mom, and there was no Best Mom.

-I believe this is what's known as a "board-clearing" episode, yes?

-Well, it's official, with her husband and one lover dead, and another lover in prison, we can start calling Penelope, "Black Widow" Blossom.

-Well, we knew Hermione was gonna turn on Hiram, but who knew it'd be in partnership with FP?

-Although they botched the job.

-Vereggie being official is gonna be so weird. I mean it works, since the actors have chemistry (I understand that they're now a couple IRL) but it's still weird.
 
Cambion said:
So another stint of Dark Archie
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Albeit of a different flavor.

So, the TVClub made an interesting observation:
Wiser still, the show has begun angling to reframe Archie's bone-deep dumbness as a feature of his character, rather than a flaw. What if, they suggest, Archie was always doing dim-witted things not because he's poorly written, but because he had an actual learning disability?
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So, my immediate thought was; no, that's Moose's thing. But then, they've also given Archie another Moose trait, namely his ability to beat the crap out of people. And it's not like their version of Moose is particularly Moose-like.

Which makes me wonder if Riverdale's version of Archie has actually been a composite character all this time?
 
OK, so...

-Parent rankings; FP Jones, Jr. involving his son in a criminal conspiracy makes him Worst Dad, while I can't decide who is Best Dad; on the one hand, Hal Cooper is extremely supportive of Betty and gives useful advice, but on the other hand, well, it's Hal Cooper; meanwhile, while Fred Andrews finally raises his voice and tells his son to shape up like he should've done two seasons ago, he has no follow through. Once again, we've got only one example of mom'ing this week, so I'm gonna say Hermione is Worst Mom.

-I love a good gambit pile-up.

-Ronnie, no. Don't.

-Oh, hey, something for Josie to do.

-OK, I know this show loves it's Anachronism Stew, but are they really saying Smithers fought in WWI?

-Me, every five minutes: "This is so stupid, I love it!"

-So, we now have either two-and-a-half or three RL couples playing couples on this show.

-Place bets; how long until Betty is working at her "Auntie's" establishment?
 
So, that was fairly eventful, we had a major reveal, and...yet somehow it felt like breather episode. Weird. Enjoyable though.

-Parent Rankings; Best Mom is Sierra McCoy; or is that Sierra Keller now? There's a lot of bad Mom'ing this episode, but I'm giving it to Penelope Blossom. Best Dad is Tom Keller, Worst Dad is Marcus Mason, even though Marty Mantle is now confirmed as regularly hitting his son.

-That said, for a guy who's barely in the show, Marty Mantle somehow becomes worse every time he shows up, how's that possible?

-So, Jughead's mom and sister are villains. Boo.

-Archie has now been with 2/3 of the Pussycats. He probably won't get the full set, as the show has apparently forgotten Melody exists, but still...

-I love how all the kids get the call while they're just about to bone, except Kevin and Moose (who just boned) and Josie and Archie.

-Man, Betty and Jughead are barely in this one.

-'S funny, given that most of these stories derive from extant plotlines, it still feels like a different show?

-Toni, girl, I know you're overwhelmed with affection right now, but no, this is not the most badass thing Cheryl has done

-I know I've complained about Moose being INO before, but a bunch of rando JROTC kids being able to outmuscle him? No. Just no.

Huh, I'm the only person to have posted this thread for three weeks, that's weird.
 
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TBH I'm finding it really hard to work through episodes now. Like I loved the badness of the show and its no fucks given approach to just having whatever plotlines it wants using whatever tropes and cliches from any genre it thinks is cool. But this is like the 11th change in tone this season and some of it is a redo of earlier seasons and tbh its gone from fun and dumb to just dumb and it seems like an endless circle with no real destination in mind.


I don't think there is much left in the tank anymore.
 
Oh, boy.

-Parent Rankings there is no Best Mom or Dad, as all the parenting seen in this episode is highly subpar. Worst Dad is Hiram as per usual, but I'm not sure about Worst Mom, because Alice Cooper has basically entirely abdicated her responsibility as a mother, so can she really count? If so, she get's it. If not, it goes to Gladys Jones for manipulating her son to benefit her criminal enterprise.

-C'mon Archie, even for you this is dumb.

-Once again, Veronica forgets that she is a child and has no leverage on anyone.

-Kevin, no.:(

-Is this Cheryl and Toni's first fight?

-What, exactly, did Gladys do to get through to Kurtz (seriously?) and his band of loons? Also, you'd think killing the Gargoyle King and dating the Gryphon Queen would've gotten Jughead more respect from a bunch of G&G fanatics.

-Wait, what happened to Malachai?

-Being Betty is suffering.
 
-Parent Rankings: There is no Mom'ing in this episode, as the only mother seen interacting with their child is Alice Cooper, who as noted last week has entirely checked out. Worst Dad, once again, is Hiram Lodge. I want to give best Dad to Fred Andrews, but the fact that he only gets involved after his clearly spiraling son has been stabbed in their own kitchen makes it hard to really do that, so it goes to Forsythe Pendleton Jones, Jr.

-Betty reminding us that she is Cheryl's cousin by borrowing her power move from the end of the first season.

-Speaking of Cheryl, it looks like she and Toni are on the rocks.

-Being Archie is Suffering.

-Kev, no.

-Ronnie feels completely divorced from the rest of the plot, which is weird given that one of her antagonists' is Jughead's mom.
 
-Being on this show is suffering.

-Parent Rankings; Worst Mom is Gladys Jones, I refuse to give Best Mom to Alice Cooper, so that title is vacant. Best Dad goes to Forsythe Pendleton Jones, Jr., and no other dad'ing occurs, so the Worst Dad title is likewise vacant.

-Yay, Nana Rose! She's always cool.

-I wish they'd give Jellybean something to do, she was so cool in her debut episode.

-Betty is hanging around with the other characters again, good.

-Ronnie continues to mostly be off in her own corner dealing with her own drama, bad.

-Also, I gotta agree with Reggie on this.

-So, Cheryl and Toni are officially on the rocks, speakeasy sex notwithstanding.

-Cheryl, no. Toni just explained that the problem is your insistence on always being in charge, you aren't going to fix things by bullying poor Kevin.

-Though it occurs to me to wonder, why Tom is busy faffing around helping other kids when his own son is being lured into a cult.

-OK, we knew Archie was badass, but damn.
 
Dat Ending.

-Parent Rankings: There was no Mom'ing this week, so that's a wash. I was gonna say Worst Dad was Hiram Lodge, but honestly, I don't think there IS a good way of handling this sort of situation, and also we were expecting him to murder Hermione if he found out what happened, so honestly he's not doing that bad; instead, reluctantly I'm gonna give it to Forsythe Pendleton Jones, Jr. who remains entirely oblivious to the fact that his wife and son are at war. Best Dad is Edgar Evernever, who not only supports his daughter's theatrical endeavors but brought his whole cult to do the same.

-Reggie's introduction was hilarious.

-Anyone else assume Kevin bringing Toni on as choreographer was a form of passive-aggressive vengeance on Cheryl for taking over the musical?

-Well, no surprises that Choni is back.

-Much more surprising; Kevangs (?) is back.

-Sweet Pea is having a bad time this episode.

-I actually really like Evelyn, her refusal to engage with Betty's rage is hilarious.

-Betty has some really choice facial expressions in this episode.

-Query: all the songs are from Heathers: The Musical, right?

-Has Peaches gotten any lines yet?
 
Huh, this thread is pretty dead, innit?

-Parent Rankings: Well, this one's tricky. There's three examples of Mom'ing going on here, and all of them are fairly dire; given that Hermione is in fear of her life, her making her daughter's upsetness over the upcoming divorce even worse is, I suppose understandable, making her Best Mom. Alice Cooper's continued shunning of her daughter for not joining a cult is also pretty dire, though it apparently comes from her maternal instincts also, so I suppose Gladys Jones obliquely threatening her son's life and also using his sister as leverage against him makes her Worst Mom. In contrast, both examples of Dad'ing we get were pretty solid. That said, while Forsythe Pendleton Jones, Jr.'s attempts to prevent his son from putting himself in danger are good Dad'in, he doesn't follow through, so I suppose Hiram Lodge's efforts to alleviate his daughter's upsetness over the upcoming divorce means that, somehow, FP is Worst Dad and Hiram is Best Dad.

-Was anyone at all surprised that Cheryl's undercover op became real double-quick?

-Granted, the reason was a surprise; I thought we were done with the supernatural stuff.

-Though you'd think she'd consult with her girlfriend first?

-Also, for someone who's officially a lesbian, she's really enthusiastic about how hot Edgar is. Yes, I know "gay, not blind", but sheesh!

-Oh, FFS show, you let other characters have a win every now and then, why can't Archie?

-I remain bummed that Ronnie's plotline remains isolated from the rest of the cast; Betty at least enlists Cheryl.

-I like Edgar, he's a neat character.

-So, did anyone else think, while watching the scene where Betty confronts Edgar, "there's gonna be shipfics about them, aren't there"?

Not spoileriffic, but does anyone else feel that, while all of these kids need psychological help, Cheryl probably needs to be committed for her own safety?
 
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Honestly, it's all thanks to SuperEyepatchWolf and Alex Meyers that I'm starting Riverdale (currently at season 1), I want to witness the insanity of later seasons.
 
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