Twilight Sparkle wanted to die.
Well, not really, she'd really prefer living on for a while. But at this moment, death seemed more preferable than that what was about to happen. It was the most awkward thing she ever experienced and worse than anything she ever imagined. It was worse than turning in an assignment late. Even worse than the time she got a B+ in school. There was nothing that could ever be worse than the situation she was in now.
Well, except for being expelled. And her friends abandoning her. And actually dying. And several other things.
Still, at this moment, it seemed like the worst thing ever. And the amused smile of Princess Celestia didn't change that at all. Although it did make Twilight wonder why she doesn't have a more... negative reaction.
"I guess you know why I asked for you?" she asked, comfortably sitting in her throne.
"...I think so." The purple unicorn replied.
"And I guess you meant to send me a friendship letter, not that... story?"
Twilight's stomach twisted. "...Yes, I did."
"And if I were to guess the author, I'd be correct if I chose you?"
"...Yes." Obviously. Who else could have done it? Actually the thought of someone else writing such a story about her and Princess Celestia was pretty creepy and she hoped that this would never happen.
Then there was silence. Pretty painful one, that made Twilight's mind nearly rampage with thoughts. She didn't know what to do, except for apologizing like mad. But this could make her look desperate and clingy, so she refrained.
"...Not bad."
"Come again?" Twilight wasn't sure what she meant.
"Your story, I mean." Celestia answered. "It was pretty good. Although there were some things that bothered me. First of all, I prefer strawberries over bananas. When it comes too that, I mean. Also, while plain socks are nice, striped ones are more enticing. And I really can't imagine Luna calling us 'adorable', even in that situation, although my sister would certainly give us her blessing."
Twilight's mouth hang open in shock, while she was blushing furiously. She wasn't sure what to make out of this and even if she did, her brain refused to function correctly, hearing all this.
As if oblivious to her student's reaction, the princess went on. "While it's quite flattering, I'm not actually that big there. I think that's pretty obvious. Also you really overestimating my physical skills. And underestimating my ability to hold my liquor. It's actually Luna who has trouble with that. This would have made the scene more entertaining, but would have probably shifted the focus too much. And as much as I enjoy cakes, I don't like them that much. Although it is an interesting idea. Lastly, certain scenes would have benefited from more detail. They are fine as they are, but I would have liked to see what exactly happens."
"I... also have more graphic stories." A part of Twilight's brain cried out to her, that she shouldn't say that. That part wasn't working correctly right now, though.
"Oh you wrote more?" Celestia seemed to be a bit too happy about that. "Can you send me your other stories too? I would really like to read them. And, if you don't mind, give you critique, so your future endeavors are more realistic."
"Sure, whatever pleases you, princess." Another part of the unicorn was very happy about what she heard.
"Thank you, Twilight. And if you need to do some... research, you can always come to me. I'm open for everything."
Twilight Sparkle didn't want to die. But as she was passing out and thought that she did, she was content with her life.
