Visiting Shinji
You take some time to visit Shinji in the medical ward once you hear he's cleared for (official) visitation. He's covered in bandages and looks tired. You open by lightly teasing him about Rei muscling her way past the red tape to visit him, but he doesn't seem to be in the mood. He feels guilty for making Rei worry about him, apparently, and feels like he let everybody down by missing that shot and then getting taken out.
You try to reassure him that the unpredictability of the Angels were at fault here, not him, but he doesn't seem to buy it. He says he's sorry for messing everything up again. You tell him to stop it with that kind of talk. All of the last Angel attacks were thwarted with major contributions from him, even if he didn't quite get the kill or perform perfectly. He's an invaluable member of the team. Mistakes happen in life. The next time he faces the same situation, he will be stronger and wiser for them. The only thing you both can do is move forward and try to improve. Shinji mumbles okay. Sorry.
You ask how he's doing otherwise. He says everything kind of hurts, but the injuries look worse than they actually are. The nurses told him he's probably going to be in pain for the next month or two. They're going to let him leave sometime next week. Shinji scowls. He hates it here, and the food sucks. You say you'll send Rei over with some food from home. Shinji hesitates.
You're not going to cook it, right? You frown. Maybe you
will, because your cooking is delicious, thank you very much. Shinji stiffens. You sigh and say you'll have Rei do it. Shinji relaxes. Ungrateful punk.
[X] Talk to Rei about Romance
-[X]
The point is not to play matchmaker here. Rei's obvious feelings towards Shinji make her emotionally unstable. Both in and out of the battle. It has to be addressed. It may also be a good moment to ask the question "Do you know how upset the Idiot would be if she died?" in a reasonable manner.
You crack open a beer in preparation for this discussion. You're kind of surprised that you've never brought this up with her before beyond an ill-fated trip to the movies Rei apparently got nothing out of, and the whole love letter incident, but you think you've been subconsciously avoiding this topic because the concept of discussing boys with Rei Ayanami usually feels alien and impossible.
You don't exactly consider yourself a sage of life advice, but you feel like with a normal teenager, you would be able to have this discussion. Unfortunately, little about Rei's background qualifies as normal, and you find yourself wondering what about this topic Rei actually knows. She seems to have a nebulous grasp of courtship via love letter, and seems able to identify a romantic relationship when she sees one, and there's what you've told her about bad dates you've been on, and she presumably must have absorbed something from Hikari given her reactions to Suzuhara, but…trying to piece it all together feels frustratingly vague. Does Rei even know what a crush is, or what it feels like? Does she know what couples do? Oh God, are you going to have to give her The Talk?
Feeling ill-prepared for this conversation, you approach Rei while she's cooking dinner with Pen
2. Her face is neutral, but you can tell from her body language and lethargic movements that she's feeling depressed. You figure she's usually in the room when Shinji's cooking. Come to think of it, Shinji's the only other person that lives on her side of the apartment, not counting Pen
2. While you and Asuka freely move between apartments during the day and evening, it must get lonely at night without Shinji around.
You take a seat at the table and tell Rei you want to talk about her relationship with Shinji. Rei visibly tenses up. She asks what about it in a level tone. You hesitantly ask how Shinji makes her feel. Like, as a person? Rei relaxes a little, though you sense she's still nervous. Rei says more or less what she's told you before about him. She usually feels happy when he's around, and he makes her feel grounded and safe. Her cheeks color faintly as she tells you this.
Okay, so far so good, now to approach this very delicately.
You blurt out the first question that comes to your mind and ask if Rei has a crush on him. You look at the beer can in your hand and frown. Stupid beer, making it so easy to just
say stuff. Rei gives you an alarmed look. She does not want to "crush" Ikari, no. Right, phrasing. Rei's got a lot of weirdly specific blind spots in her vocabulary. You try again and ask if Rei is romantically interested in Shinji.
Rei goes silent for a while and goes back to her cooking. She doesn't speak for so long that you begin to think she's hoping that if she ignores you long enough you'll forget you asked her a question. Right before you open your mouth to repeat your question more insistently, Rei says she doesn't know. Maybe. Her understanding of this topic is…lacking. She supposes it is possible, as Shinji Ikari is…special to her.
You start to ask a few questions about her interactions with him and how she feels both emotionally and physically in certain situations. Rei's responses are carefully constructed and are only delivered to you after great thought. She has to break off thinking about one of your responses after she realizes she's left the pan on the heat for too long. The result is salvageable, if unmistakably overcooked. Rei seems angry at herself.
You gather that she's definitely
physically attracted to Shinji, and you think it's probable it's a romantic attraction as well. Rei tells you that she enjoys physical contact with him (to your relief, the most physical contact she's had with him is just sitting really close to him on the sofa and occasionally brushing fingertips with him while they're cooking or playing mahjong together), though feels strangely anxious about it as well. The thought of Shinji being in an exclusive relationship with either Asuka or Hikari upsets her, though she doesn't know why, and thinks those feelings are irrational.
You tell her that you don't want to tell her how she feels, but that it sounds to you like she's romantically interested in Shinji. You tell her to give it some thought. Rei looks as if you've just told her she has an incurable disease, and knits her eyebrows together in worry. She'll…she'll think about it some more. Thank you for bringing this matter to her attention, Major.
You also tell her that if she would like any advice or had any questions (you're sure she does) that you're available to talk. Rei says she would appreciate it after she's given it some more thought.
You consider trying to leverage this conversation into a discussion about Rei's sense of self-worth, but she seems confused enough as it is, and you figure tying trying to figure out her feelings about Shinji and her morbid obsession with her own sacrificial death is probably going to confuse her more. Maybe once she has a firmer understanding of where she stands on the issue. You've already given her a lot to think about.
[X] Talk to Asuka about Romance
-[X] In a similar vein to talking about it with Rei; what's with her pushing herself on Shinji so much? If there's a genuine attraction, that's fine, but if it's just to get at Rei she needs to cut it out.
Despite Asuka having an acute social awareness of the social mores and graces of romance are (at least compared to the other two clueless dorks in your care), you feel like this conversation will be no easier than the one you had with Rei, and you're proven right after Asuka immediately becomes incredibly defensive at your line of inquiry. She is
not "pushing herself" on Shinji; she is hanging out with him. Is that a crime or something? Did Rei put you up to this? Asuka
knows how sensitive she gets about her precious pet.
Anyway, as
if she'd
ever ask that blockhead on a date. She hangs out with him because she feels sorry for him only having Rei and the other two stupid boys he hangs out with for company. You point out that he's also friends with Hikari, but Asuka says that's totally different. It's not like he and Hikari hang out very much unless Hikari is trying to get closer to Suzuhara or Rei's around.
Didn't
you ask her to try to get along with the other two pilots and to make friends? That's what she's doing with Shinji. Not her fault Rei's too stuck-up and full of herself to grace mortals like Asuka with her presence. Hanging out with Shinji is like one of the only things that even gets Rei to acknowledge Asuka exists most of the time. Anyway, she's just doing what you asked her to do, and now it's a problem because boo hoo, Rei's feelings might get hurt because it reminds her the entire world doesn't revolve around her? Seems hypocritical of you, if you ask her. Besides, sometimes Shinji can be downright
tolerable once he stops apologizing for every single little thing. And being a wimp. And asking stupid questions. And like, talking in general.
Also, Asuka isn't interested in
boys, she's interested in
men. Kaji, in particular. She's going to marry him, no thanks to you, she declares haughtily. You reiterate that Kaji is way too old for her and that he's not exactly a paragon of virtue. This upsets Asuka. She launches into a tirade about how she's nearly an adult and how you just don't
understand him and that there's more to him that meets the eye, etc, etc. You flatly assure her that there is less. Asuka huffs.
You encourage her to try to take a romantic interest in boys or girls her age. You don't think this is healthy, and you're genuinely concerned about this. Asuka says she doesn't need your
pity, thanks, with venom in her voice. You're just worried she's going to steal Kaji away. You groan. This fixation is going to be harder to break than you'd anticipated. While the thought of Kaji with Asuka is deeply…unpleasant to you, Asuka is probably going to attribute any advice you give to her on this topic as being solely motivated by jealousy. You tell her to at least
consider some other candidates. Asuka says fine, whatever.
You notice she doesn't deny being interested in girls. That's interesting.
[X] Rei: Arts program
Rei finally gets her arm out of its sling this week, so she can go back to drawing with her good hand. She spends most of her sessions drawing pictures of Shinji. She also draws herself in scenes with Shinji, mostly sitting across from him or next to him. She draws one of them holding hands, which she seems awfully reluctant to show to you. You figure this is her way of trying to work through her feelings, by trying on different fantasies and putting them to paper. Or something. You're not a psychologist.
You're once again impressed by her uncanny ability to reproduce her own image in detail from memory. Rei doesn't seem to understand why this is unusual. Do you not remember what you look like?
[X] Rei: Go out/free time
You give Rei some time off and try to encourage her to hang out with Hikari. You do have a bit of a conspiracy between you two to help Rei work through some of her issues, but Rei ignores your advice and spends almost all of her free time with Shinji in the medical ward. She seems happier for having done so, so you don't push back too hard against it.
[X] Asuka: Combat training
Asuka throws herself into combat training with unusual fervor. You figure she's got a lot of anger to work out, because she lets the simulation Angels really have it when she manages to get the better of them. She's still struggling to account for the loss of vision on her left, an endless source of frustration for her. Ritsuko reprimands her for getting too violent with the controls after a bomb from Kokabiel sneaks up on her in one simulation. Overall, it's a very mixed showing of impressive victories and crushing defeats. Asuka says she's usually better than this as she retreats to the locker room, her fists clenched at her sides.
[X] Asuka: Go out/free time (separate from Rei)
Asuka spends most of her free time alone in her room reading and listening to her music. You notice that during the few occasions Rei enters your side of the apartment, Asuka turns her music up to volumes you'd consider obnoxious. Rei's tolerance for Asuka's preferred genre of music is finite, and Rei usually quickly leaves after a few minutes of discomfort. Asuka usually turns her music up even louder in response, and you have to tell her to lower the volume or the stereo is going out the window. Asuka reluctantly complies.
Asuka spends the remainder of her free time visiting Shinji. Usually not for long. But enough to show she cares. Not that she'd ever admit that.
[X] Special Activity: Cover your ass. Gendo was on the warpath with you before the Angel battle, and while victory might stave being fired off for a bit, you want him to know just how indispensable you actually are. Write a report about the battle showing why your decision to fight – and, by implication, your actions with the pilots up until now – was/were the correct one(s).
In addition to the reams and reams of paperwork you have to work through regarding the damage the previous Angel did, you spend time working on a side project you hope will convince Gendo to stop coming at your throat every time you interact with him. You spend most nights working very late to compile this project, and it's often well-past the pilots' bedtimes by the time you get home. You hope they aren't fighting while you're not home. Neither of them has managed to strangle the other, there haven't been signs of overt violence, and the girls' relative levels of misery have been stable over the course of the week, so you'll take it.
What are you focusing on in this report?
[ ] Your relationship with and development of the pilots. Ritsuko and Gendo can sniff all they like at how you're going about it, but in your opinion all three pilots have greatly improved their combat abilities and are much more sociable and worldly than before they were foisted onto you. That has to count for something.
[ ] Your strategic and logistical expertise. You've won every battle, haven't you? Sure, some of those victories have been messy, but in the end, you were able to outwit every Angel and humanity still exists because of it.
[ ] Your grit and determination. You never give up. You do things that other men and women cannot. You
rode an Evangelion into battle to give orders directly from the field. You refused to surrender and evacuate when faced with overwhelming odds. You are determined to kill every Angel, and you will see this through to the last.
