It's... not exactly the best reflection in the world. Which is an understatement for small children recoil at your appearance also run away because frankly you look like you came out of a horror movie. In fact, you once fell to your knees and screamed it burns when exposed to sunlight (as a joke, of course) and people actually believed you.
Anyway, you pull your head up because as it turns out you do have low melamine levels and burn really easily in the sun and head out. Your mom honks the horn and you climb into the tacky looking minivan that she drives around, grumbling about her lack of patience.
"Can't you dress a little better?" She complains and you sullenly say nothing, like a teenager (which you are, of course).
She backs out of the driveway and drives off. There's some annoying song on the radio- you have no idea what station it is but it's much too cheerful. You immediately don't like it.
"Do you want anything, Texas?" She asks you. You shrug.
"Fruit rollups?"
"Aren't you a little too old for those?" She peers at you off the rearview mirror. "You're a highschooler now, aren't you?"
You don't reply. No one is ever too old for fruit rollups!
Besides, it's not like you care what people think of your maturity anymore.
It takes twelve minutes and one red light for you to arrive at the supermarket. You immediately hop off at the curb as your mom goes to park the car. You check your phone while you do so. Oh look, someone asked you a question. Yes you are the harbringer of knowledge in this quest! You bring the wisdom of the setting! The light and thunder! You are God of this wo-
"What are you doing just standing there, Texas?" Your mom asks you as she grabs a shopping cart. "You know you sunburn easily. Don't just stand there."
...way to ruin someone's power trip mom. You type out a quick
reply to both questions and head into the store. Your mom grabs a variety of fresh fruits and vegetables, of course. You grab a box of fruit rollups and a large bag of cheetos as well as a six pack of mountain dew. Your mom frowns disapprovingly at your choice in diet.
"I wish you would eat healthier."
You mumble something about your diet being your choice.
"What's that?" Your mom squeezes your cheeks together. "You need to learn how to speak up, Texas."
"Mooooom." You whine. She's embarrassing you, and everyone's looking. You're going to have to add this to the list of things you're going to get made fun of for once school starts, aren't you?
"Oh so now you're embarrassed of me are you. Do you know how hard I worked to raise you? How...." She lectures you all the way back to the car. Still, she buys the doritors, cheetos, fruit rollups, and mountain dew so you don't really have anything to complain about. Instead you just take her lecturing in stride and sort of glaze out listening to this pop music radio station that isn't really all that bad.
"Anyway I wish you would get along with your father, better." Your mother says out of nowhere. You instinctively want to protest that he's not your dad, your dad is dead and buried, but you know she'd really get mad if you said that, so you keep your mouth closed. "I know sometimes he's a bit too... excited when he gets drunk, but he really does want to get along with you."
You mumble some promises to try, which you don't intend to keep and then retreat off to your room. You start up your computer, and delve into the magical realm of the internet, where you are lord of all creativity and the seas of madness are yours to harness.
Only on the internet can you let your true artistic passions run free, and also call anyone who criticizes you a troll and ignore anything they say.
WHAT TO DO NEXT
[ ] UPDATE YOUR QUEST WITH MORE CHARACTER CREATION
[ ] PROMISE TO UPDATE YOUR QUEST but then spend your time playing vidya instead
[ ] SKYPE YOUR (only) FRIEND FROM MIDDLE SCHOOL
[ ] spend your time reading manga instead
[ ] catch up on homework <== THIS OPTION IS SUPER DUPER LAME
[ ] write in
Jemnite Says: Nagging Mom Simulator Quest 2016.
also our emergency jokes supplies are being depleted at a critical rate, it turns out that jokes about questing is not an unlimited resource and i fear we may hit peak questing parody jokes sometime in mid 2016