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Puella Magi Imperatrix Mundi, or: Wherein Half Of Japan Tries To Kill You

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redzonejoe said:
Too much monologues, too preachy, imo. And it's suggesting a course of action we haven't actually decided to follow yet.
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Yes, long-term bad habit for me. In person I have a really good speaking voice and enough physical presence to make that kind of forceful monologue work really well, and it's surprisingly effective on the internet, but it doesn't translate too well when I'm writing a script for someone else.

SystemicHatter said:
Some modifications to @redzonejoe's vote, X's, and comments thereon:
[X] "I can't really blame you for feeling that way. You can't help anyone if you're dead."
-[X] "I made my wish knowing I'd be risking my life, and knowing that the person before me had failed and been killed for it. I came into this conflict with a goal, and to reach it I wished for power. So I wouldn't be too weak to do what I wanted needed to do. So I wouldn't just end up dead like Kisaragi Momoko did."
-[X] "I want to talk to you in private with my 'mysterious ally' in a bit. If you still want to leave after hearing me out, that's okay. Just remember you're always welcome in Nagamioka."
-[X] "Er... just let me deal with everything else first."

[X] Talk to Rio, Fuuka, and Kiyomi. Get everything with them in order, and ask them to contact us at their convenience once they've had some time to think things over.

[X] Help Maiko move the bodies. Oh god that's gross.
-[X] Figure out what to do about Kaede's dog. We can't just let it go wild, and we should probably do something more than just dropping it off at the local pound.

[X] Time to arrange a meeting for team Yui.
-[X] Asami might be busy, so talk to Minami and Maiko over at HQ
[X] Topics for discussion: Yumi, Naoko and Kaede, other junk
Comments:
- it felt weird to go to: I can change your mind; I made my wish for this reason; we can talk later. I wanted to start talking about idealism, since that's the thing that's being addressed at the moment, then propose the meeting.
- it's been pointed out that Yui didn't really pay attention to the 'fighting other people' thing when she made her wish. The vote's been edited to reflect that. I kept the 'conflict' bit in because she knew it was going to be a conflict. *shrugs*
- 'if neither of you object' seemed a bit silly. Yumi's not going to be shy about making any objection known, and Maiko objecting would be kind of unexpected.

Suggestions?

Edit: Think we should bring Maiko out of hiding when we're moving the bodies and have the discussion with Yumi shortly after?
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[X] "I can't really blame you for feeling that way. You can't help anyone if you're dead."

I like this line a lot.

-[X] "But I knew that when I made my wish. I had a goal in mind and I wished for the power to succeed while staying true to my ideals. I wished to have the power to do what I wanted to do, to not be backed into corners or left without a third option, to not have to do 'what needs to be done' and end up like Kisaragi Momoko. I didn't really expect to need that power, but I wanted it, I got it, and I'm going to use it."

There's a little bit of an inherent issue with our Wish regarding what kind of conflicts we were expecting. Yui may not have been thinking it incredibly consciously when she made the wish, but you don't need Love and Justice to protect people from simple rampaging animals. You need Love and Justice to protect people from situations and people that are ugly and unjust. Plus Yui keeps bringing in anime characters, and the critical points in every anime character's careers invariably include sadistic choices and morton's forks. Furthermore, a lot of our powers are specifically geared toward dealing with ugly, unjust shit, rather than rampaging monsters: That Aura of Power thing isn't something that the Wish would have given to someone that only needed to fight Witches. I think that it's very safe to say that Yui somewhat wanted to and expected to receive the power to deal with those situations as part of the "Hero of Love and Justice" package, even if she thought she wouldn't need it or was only grabbing a convenient archetype.

Given that, we do say "wanted" instead of "needed"; "needed" directs more toward the "hard choices" side of things, whereas according to the above argument Yui actually did wish to be able to do what she "wanted". Change "dead like momoko" to "like momoko", which implies that we disapprove both of her death and of her methods and PR, and that we wished for the power to keep things under control without resorting to killing people and pissing everybody off. Specify that we sort of expected sadistic choices and ethical dilemmas and that our wish lets deal with them without losing and without compromising our ideals.

Unfortunately this is a bit long and probably needs to be cut down. Like I said above, bad habits. It fits into a conversation for me but I don't know if it'll fit into a conversation for Yui.

-[X] "I also want to talk to you in private with my 'mysterious ally' in a bit, and explain some more about my long-term plans. If you still want to leave after hearing me out, that's okay. Just remember you're always welcome in Nagamioka."
-[X] "Er... just let me deal with everything else first."

The other line covers "idealism can win". The next thing to do is to convince her that idealism should win. That's going to be a longer conversation, however, probably including math and philosophy. Add in some bits here to lead in to that discussion as well as doubling down on the "I know what I'm doing and I plan to not die".

[X] Help Maiko move the bodies. Oh god that's gross.
-[X] Figure out what to do about Kaede's dog. We can't just let it go wild, and we should probably do something more than just dropping it off at the local pound.

[X] Time to arrange a meeting for team Yui.
-[X] Asami might be busy, so talk to Minami and Maiko over at HQ
[X] Topics for discussion: Yumi, Naoko and Kaede, other junk

The rest of these are all good.

I'm not sure when we want to bring out Maiko. Will think more about that.
 
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Oh, I just realized there's a problem with the votes being discussed--namely, you can probably expect to have another break for voting during the conversation with Rio, Fuuka, and Kiyomi. So feel free to discuss what to do afterwards, but voting on it now is probably unnecessary.

Alternatively you could try to preempt enough of that discussion that I can push all the way through the scene with a longer update. The issue is that the offer they received and accepted was to be subordinate to Yui in a formal alliance, so it would look bad to just give them a chunk of land, a list of rules, and send them on their way. Are you going to join them on witch hunts? Are you going to let them make diplomatic decisions on your behalf? Send them recruiting? Assign them an area to patrol? Introduce them Minami and Asami? To Maiko? Etc. etc.

Maiko, Minami, and Tomo all see you as "the leader" to some extent, but not in the same way.
 
I'll have time to write relatively soon today but there's not many votes so far. Is everyone still dealing with voting fatigue from last time? :(
 
Vebyast said:
Probably. It's also Friday, so I wouldn't be surprised if people are out doing other stuff. The entire site is kind of slow right now.
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Fair enough, then. I'll leave votes open for a while and go play Kantai Collection do unspecified important things.
 
[X] I have a dream

That's... Uh... That's the plan name I retroactively gave systemic's vote. Yeah. Totally.
Echo said:
I'll have time to write relatively soon today but there's not many votes so far. Is everyone still dealing with voting fatigue from last time? :(
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Yeah I legit had no idea what to write in that section of the vote. I was hoping somebody would flesh it out, but it seems like we'll probably have to go with the vote break.
 
Well.
Finally decided to join in on this quest.
Especially after trying that with a few others....only to then basically seize up like a opossum (or suddenly being a motivational strobe light, or that feeling you have when your spicy food hates your stomach).
Oh and:
[X] Bandwagon
 
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Echo said:
Making a loyal dog who's getting on in years feel lonely and heartbroken.
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That makes me think. Unless Kaede's wish made that dog immortal, her maximum lifespan is only what the dog's is. It dies, she'll witch out. Of course a meguca's lifespan is usually even shorter than a dog's.
 
FelOnyx said:
That makes me think. Unless Kaede's wish made that dog immortal, her maximum lifespan is only what the dog's is. It dies, she'll witch out. Of course a meguca's lifespan is usually even shorter than a dog's.
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Eh, if it dies a natural death and she has emotional support available (ha ha, that's a good one) she might pull through. It's the emotional shock of something bad unexpectedly happening that would push her over the edge.

And no, there's nothing special about the dog otherwise. The dog went missing when her family moved and her wish was to be able to find it, hence the clairvoyance and tracking ability.

Unitveras said:
Well why wouldn't everyone agree on that in this kind of setting?
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True.

Even Naoko was generally nice to the dog!

Mostly by giving it praise and treats when it did stuff other people didn't like, but still.
 
Echo said:
Eh, if it dies a natural death and she has emotional support available (ha ha, that's a good one) she might pull through. It's the emotional shock of something bad unexpectedly happening that would push her over the edge.

And no, there's nothing special about the dog otherwise. The dog went missing when her family moved and her wish was to be able to find it, hence the clairvoyance and tracking ability.



True.

Even Naoko was generally nice to the dog!

Mostly by giving it praise and treats when it did stuff other people didn't like, but still.
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Oh well at least it didn't go and see if animals could become Puella Magi too (There is a reference here somewhere).
 
Echo said:
Oh, I just realized there's a problem with the votes being discussed--namely, you can probably expect to have another break for voting during the conversation with Rio, Fuuka, and Kiyomi. So feel free to discuss what to do afterwards, but voting on it now is probably unnecessary.

Alternatively you could try to preempt enough of that discussion that I can push all the way through the scene with a longer update. The issue is that the offer they received and accepted was to be subordinate to Yui in a formal alliance, so it would look bad to just give them a chunk of land, a list of rules, and send them on their way. Are you going to join them on witch hunts? Are you going to let them make diplomatic decisions on your behalf? Send them recruiting? Assign them an area to patrol? Introduce them Minami and Asami? To Maiko? Etc. etc.

Maiko, Minami, and Tomo all see you as "the leader" to some extent, but not in the same way.
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Okay, in the interests of trying to accelerate this conversation I'll put together something here. A starting point for discussion, at least. This is mostly a list of policies and how we plan to do things, but it's also all stuff that could well come up so they should know it, and the most important part is the first sub-point, "talk to us constantly". That one's written so that we can discuss with Maiko, Minami, and Asami how they want to meet Rio/Fuuka/Kiyomi and when before making a final decision on the matter, and also so that we can try to therapy at/diplomace certain other girls (looking at you, Shinobu) before making introductions.

[ ] Explain what your expectations are to Rio, Fuuka, and Kiyomi.
-[ ] They need to meet with you regularly, both to exchange news and so that you get to know them better. Converse via telepathy (or phone, if they like phones) at least daily and in-person meetings at least three times a week. Make sure to bring up any disputes, problems, or concerns they're having when you talk to them, and you'll deal with it. You will make an effort to introduce them to everyone else who lives around here during said meetings.
-[ ] The only actual hunting territory assigned in greater Nagamioka is Chou's, and that mostly because she's paranoid and touchy. (Be nice to Chou.) They're free to go and hunt anywhere aside from that, but after they've settled on a place to live should let you know where it is and meet with you to discuss witch distribution and patrol routes so that you can optimize across the city. Those are likely to gradually change as you get more girls.
-[ ] If anyone allied with you needs help, help them out. This includes both witch hunts and if they're attacked or something, or if they have a personal problem and need someone to cover for them, whatever. They can expect other girls to provide them with this same kind of assistance, within reason. Long-term arrangements for hunting partners, living together, sustained lies to parents, etc. will need to be arranged on a case by case basis. Grief seed shortages/requests on anyone's part need to be brought to your attention.
-[ ] If they locate new-contracted girls or solo immigrants, be friendly if possible and bring them to your attention. Your current group policy is to recruit everyone who contracts within the Nagamioka area and any incoming girls who haven't completely lost it with a mix of empathy, logic, and gradual social efforts. No strong-arming.
-[ ] If they run into incoming groups, you would like to be at the forefront of diplomacy but you'll trust their judgement as our representatives in carrying out your greater policies, within reason. Nagamioka is yours, but don't get killed over border skirmishes; you can always marshal everyone and show up as a hammer later if they run away.
-[ ] Most importantly, they are expected to support your overall goals of (1) protecting people, particularly people in Nagamioka and (2) being a good person, or at least not being mean. If at any point they are in doubt, act based upon those two qualities, and talk to you about it later.

Comments? Improvements? Gaps?
 
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DarkLight140 said:
Comments? Improvements? Gaps?
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Looks pretty good as-is. I'm going to incorporate it.

[X] "I can't really blame you for feeling that way. You can't help anyone if you're dead."
-[X] "I made my wish knowing I'd be risking my life, and knowing that the person before me had failed and been killed for it. I came into this conflict with a goal, and to reach it I wished for power. So I wouldn't be too weak to do what I needed to do. So I wouldn't just end up dead like Kisaragi Momoko did."
-[X] "I want to talk to you in private with my 'mysterious ally' in a bit. If you still want to leave after hearing me out, that's okay. Just remember you're always welcome in Nagamioka."
-[X] "Er... just let me deal with everything else first."

[X] Explain what your expectations are to Rio, Fuuka, and Kiyomi.
-[X] They need to meet with you regularly, both to exchange news and so that you get to know them better. Converse via telepathy (or phone, if they like phones) at least daily and in-person meetings at least three times a week. Make sure to bring up any disputes, problems, or concerns they're having when you talk to them, and you'll deal with it. You will make an effort to introduce them to everyone else who lives around here during said meetings.
-[X] The only actual hunting territories assigned in greater Nagamioka are to Chou and Koharu. They're free to go and hunt anywhere aside from that, but after they've settled on a place to live should let you know where it is and meet with you to discuss witch distribution and patrol routes so that you can optimize across the city. Those are likely to gradually change as you get more girls.
-[X] If anyone allied with you needs help, help them out. This includes both witch hunts and if they're attacked or something, or if they have a personal problem and need someone to cover for them, whatever. They can expect other girls to provide them with this same kind of assistance, within reason. Long-term arrangements for hunting partners, living together, sustained lies to parents, etc. will need to be arranged on a case by case basis. Grief seed shortages/requests on anyone's part need to be brought to your attention.
-[X] If they locate new-contracted girls or solo immigrants, be friendly if possible and bring them to your attention. Your current group policy is to recruit everyone who contracts within the Nagamioka area and any incoming girls who haven't completely lost it with a mix of empathy, logic, and gradual social efforts. No strong-arming.
-[X] If they run into incoming groups, you would like to be at the forefront of diplomacy but you'll trust their judgement as our representatives in carrying out your greater policies, within reason. Nagamioka is yours, but don't get killed over border skirmishes; you can always marshaleveryone and show up as a hammer later if they run away.
-[X] Most importantly, they are expected to support your overall goals of (1) protecting people, particularly people in Nagamioka and (2) being a good person, or at least not being mean. If at any point they are in doubt, act based upon those two qualities, and talk to you about it later.

[X] Help Maiko move the bodies. Oh god that's gross.
-[X] Figure out what to do about Kaede's dog. We can't just let it go wild, and we should probably do something more than just dropping it off at the local pound.

[X] Time to arrange a meeting for team Yui.
-[X] Asami might be busy, so talk to Minami and Maiko over at HQ
[X] Topics for discussion: Yumi, Naoko and Kaede, other junk



That's long as balls. Perfect!
 
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redzonejoe said:
[ ] Explain what your expectations are to Rio, Fuuka, and Kiyomi.
-[ ] They need to meet with you regularly, both to exchange news and so that you get to know them better. Converse via telepathy (or phone, if they like phones) at least daily and in-person meetings at least three times a week. Make sure to bring up any disputes, problems, or concerns they're having when you talk to them, and you'll deal with it. You will make an effort to introduce them to everyone else who lives around here during said meetings.
-[ ] The only actual hunting territory assigned in greater Nagamioka is Chou's, and that mostly because she's paranoid and touchy. (Be nice to Chou.) They're free to go and hunt anywhere aside from that, but after they've settled on a place to live should let you know where it is and meet with you to discuss witch distribution and patrol routes so that you can optimize across the city. Those are likely to gradually change as you get more girls.
-[ ] If anyone allied with you needs help, help them out. This includes both witch hunts and if they're attacked or something, or if they have a personal problem and need someone to cover for them, whatever. They can expect other girls to provide them with this same kind of assistance, within reason. Long-term arrangements for hunting partners, living together, sustained lies to parents, etc. will need to be arranged on a case by case basis. Grief seed shortages/requests on anyone's part need to be brought to your attention.
-[ ] If they locate new-contracted girls or solo immigrants, be friendly if possible and bring them to your attention. Your current group policy is to recruit everyone who contracts within the Nagamioka area and any incoming girls who haven't completely lost it with a mix of empathy, logic, and gradual social efforts. No strong-arming.
-[ ] If they run into incoming groups, you would like to be at the forefront of diplomacy but you'll trust their judgement as our representatives in carrying out your greater policies, within reason. Nagamioka is yours, but don't get killed over border skirmishes; you can always marshaleveryone and show up as a hammer later if they run away.
-[ ] Most importantly, they are expected to support your overall goals of (1) protecting people, particularly people in Nagamioka and (2) being a good person, or at least not being mean. If at any point they are in doubt, act based upon those two qualities, and talk to you about it later.
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Are there supposed to be X's here?
 
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