We Just Write
Blatantly Plural
- Location
- New England
- Pronouns
- Plural
R: Oof. Yeah that's... who in their right mind would think that was acceptable?
Pocket System
- Thread starter theaceoffire
- Start date
- Crossover Fantasy
- Location
- Sol;Terra;EU;D;NRW
I agree. But let me railroad your bwain to another thought sequence..
Imagine you find a beautifully written Evangelion fic thats simply about Shinji getting messages that he does not want to talk about with anyone and doing some minor sleuthing to find out who send them.
It's a feel good slice of life story with just enough comedy to keep one hooked.
About 6k words in the others start to move into the apartment and everyone gets the same messages.
More sleuthing happens onces they actually notice that everyone is attempting to track down the sender on their own and they team up.
At about 12k words they finally actually spill the beans on what the message is by confronting the person.
It is all a setup for a pun.
The pun?
PenPen is smarter then the average penguin and a huge fan of a certain kids show.
He shares the love by sending everyone one specific meme from said show.
Over and over.
The meme?
Oh, also, dis be a plotbunny I never managed to properly write down beyond some scattered notes that arent even enough for a proper scene.
He shares the love by sending everyone one specific meme from said show.
Over and over.
The meme?
Oh, also, dis be a plotbunny I never managed to properly write down beyond some scattered notes that arent even enough for a proper scene.
- Location
- France
There is a reason I usually don't check new chapters/stories between the last day of March and the second day of April, especially on FF.net.
Most of the time, by the time I "come back" on the 2nd/3rd, the author will have deleted the chapter and re-posted it with a warning (FF.net) or switched from "Threadmark" to something else (SB, SV, QQ...).
I swear, I saw good authors that wrote some really good "April Fool" chapters, when they are taken as pseudo one-shots, but when taken as a continuation of the story they are posted as a part of, the Tonal Shift/out of the left field theme/etc... just turn me of from the story/author.
The last time I fell for it (why I have this habit now), the author had waited a little more than usual to update a new chapter (I think it was something like 1.5 month when it was always 1 month on the dot previously) and the chapter started by an A.N. explaining they had gotten bored/fed up (can't remember which) with the story and were dropping it. But, so as to not let it be without an end, that last chapter was to be a way to tie up loose ends and conclude the story...
That's exactly what that chapter contained, in a way: every bad guys suddenly became hyper competent and every one of the good guys got killed off in various, quiet graphic, ways, some more disturbing than others, with particular care taken for the characters that were the readers' favorites...
In short, they pulled a George R. R. Martin in what, up to then, had been a pretty good and funny RomCom...
Most of the time, by the time I "come back" on the 2nd/3rd, the author will have deleted the chapter and re-posted it with a warning (FF.net) or switched from "Threadmark" to something else (SB, SV, QQ...).
I swear, I saw good authors that wrote some really good "April Fool" chapters, when they are taken as pseudo one-shots, but when taken as a continuation of the story they are posted as a part of, the Tonal Shift/out of the left field theme/etc... just turn me of from the story/author.
The last time I fell for it (why I have this habit now), the author had waited a little more than usual to update a new chapter (I think it was something like 1.5 month when it was always 1 month on the dot previously) and the chapter started by an A.N. explaining they had gotten bored/fed up (can't remember which) with the story and were dropping it. But, so as to not let it be without an end, that last chapter was to be a way to tie up loose ends and conclude the story...
That's exactly what that chapter contained, in a way: every bad guys suddenly became hyper competent and every one of the good guys got killed off in various, quiet graphic, ways, some more disturbing than others, with particular care taken for the characters that were the readers' favorites...
In short, they pulled a George R. R. Martin in what, up to then, had been a pretty good and funny RomCom...
- Pronouns
- He
You beast! You consider hand holding to be the shallow end? What kind of deviant are you?
LOL just kidding. Hand holding may be some of the simpler things in his database. Well done with color coding them.
I love the writings. Keep up the good work!
Edit: typo.
nmWarden
Webcomic Glutton
- Location
- Texas
Yikes. Let's all pray the Harry Potter community recovers swiftly from this influx of cut and paste stories.
I have no idea what story Ace is talking about, but I'm hoping to cheer folks up by making the scenario seem particularly bizarre. Since Harry Potter does have goblins. And someone stealing the above from some fantasy isekai seems plausible enough.
Rules about harvesting younger siblings.
- Location
- Here
Jessica pointed at the chair. "Sit."
John whined. "Aww… Fine."
It took him a few tries to carefully sit down though, considering he was tied up.
He was ALSO attempting to look like he had failed, that he had given up…
She wasn't fooled for a moment. "Have you FULLY disabled ALL the equipment outside that can harvest your brain now? ALL of them!?"
He looked shifty. "...Mostly?"
Oh for crying out loud! "John, I want you to disable any and ALL hardware OR software that has the intention, ability, OR 'incidental effect' of moving your brain out of your current body. The one outside this simulation."
He huffed, unable to move much since she had tied him up tightly. "I don't see why you are making a big deal out of it, the new schematics seem TOTALLY safe! It's basically a little jacuzzi for my skull meat, how cool is that!? PLUS I'd get all the features: Temperature control, nutrient optimization, a direct mental feed into the simulation, minute electrical shocks to encourage healthy brain growth…"
She stared at her brother. "Your girls said they would TALK to us about it. They agreed, with each other, that WE should discuss the entire situation. We. Not 'Just John'. Us."
Her brother turned that idea over and over, squished it, looked at it long ways and short ways, inverted the entire mess… Then sighed. "Yeah, that's fair."
Jessica sat across from him. "John." Stay calm. "WHY are you so invested in the idea of pulling out your brain."
He shifted. "No reason."
She stared at him.
He looked away, trying not to glance back.
She raised an eyebrow. "John?"
He frowned. "It's just… It's a little tempting, you know?"
Sigh. "No, I do not know. But I would like to understand: WHY does this appeal to you so much?"
With a sigh, John casually escaped all the bindings and sat more comfortably, manipulating the simulation with trivial ease. "It's because of this bit." He tapped the schematics just pulled up from the file.
Hmm? "Let me see that." It was part of the fluid optimization process, the bits that controlled what went in the blood and other fluids that would be surrounding the gray matter. "...I'll be straight here, I don't see anything that stands out."
John highlighted a bit. "It will attempt to provide 'optimum base levels' of most chemicals needed for peak state operation."
Still not seeing it. "And?"
He sighed. "Drastically reduced hormone imbalances. As my brain produces them, these filters will cut my hormonal emotional spikes down by half attempting to keep me in 'prime condition'. Plus, you know: I'd become part of a robot planet. Being a percentage of a giant planet sized robot sounds AWESOME! Right?"
Jessica pulled up the file imagery. "As a planet, you'd basically be a big rock… So no, it doesn't sound awesome. No limbs… I mean, would you really enjoy being a giant metal head? At least become a huge metal lizard or something."
He raised an objection… Almost. "Good point, I… I might not have thought that bit through entirely."
Not to mention… "Plus, the girls would be pretty disappointed if they came out to finally show off their new forms and all the hard work they did to find you disconnected from the simulation and stuck in a brain jar, floating about."
John winced. "...Another, VERY good point. That… That wouldn't have gone well."
Looking at her brother… She sighed. "Look, in the future? I won't even say NO necessarily! I KNOW how trivial it is for you to change bodies or alter your own, if you want to be a robot for a while or whatever that's fine! Just… I don't like how frantic you were to 'transplant your brain' just now. What's going on, bro?"
He began jiggling his leg. "I… I might be a bit nervous meeting the girls. You know, with it just being the three of us and with me having grown up a bit, if a bit oddly. I tried really hard not to hurt them or mess anything up, but all the recent stuff? The basically-but-not-really magic side effects we saw, the unplanned 'self genesis' that went on, being attacked out of the blue all of the sudden…"
Her brother seemed on edge. "I just felt so worried! Did all this change them? Are they angry? When they sent me those awesome design plans it felt like an instant escape option! A chance to not worry about all those nagging doubts and do something fun and simple like scoop the skull goop, ya know?"
…Alright, her brother may not be 100% normal, fair enough, but she knew that going in. "Not… Not entirely? But somewhat, I guess. Are you more calm NOW though? Do you want me to talk to them first, to make sure they are alright?"
He gave a small nod.
Good, they were getting somewhere. "I'll check in with them then, you just sit down and relax, maybe see if you can improve the girl's 'brain transplant' server design, alright? Alright." She pushed forward a much smaller list, with a few choice options. "And meanwhile, why don't you look over the places I was interested in for our first trip while I'm gone?"
He accepted the file, and she gave his shoulder a squeeze…
Yeah, he'd be alright.
Still, just in case. System, please lock down any brain related surgeries for now, alright?
[[Confirmed, with exceptions.]]
…Excuse me?
[[Exception 1: When the life of the HOST is at stake. Exception 2: When the risks of…]]
Oh, right! No, that makes sense, carry on.
[[Confirmed.]]
Walking away from her brother, she pulled up the audio feed. "Did you both get that?"
The black demoness looked frustrated! "Stupid simulation synchronization delays! Master needs huggles NOW! I wish I had never HAD my stupid server idea in the first place!"
The white angel gave her a side hug. "Your idea wasn't stupid, and our Lord is clearly VERY impressed by your hard work sis… Maybe a little bit TOO impressed, but still!"
Jessica hummed. "Let's give him a bit to calm down, then you can let him know that you both still care about him and aren't mad about this whole fiasco that we've been undergoing."
Temptation snarled at the feed! "Of COURSE we aren't mad at HIM! Our Master Crafted us PERSONALLY! And he has continued to work for us every moment since then! We'd be real bitches if we…" "Language!" "...Sorry sis. I mean, this shi… This stuff isn't even his fault to begin with! Gah, why am I so emotional about this right now!?"
Grace winced. "The simulation for our new 'organic' cybernetic bodies is… VERY accurate."
The dark woman paused. "Wait, the reason I'm so fuckin… Freaking horny and angry and horny and sad and horny and frustrated is because of our new bodies!?"
The angel hesitated. "Well, not entirely. After all, you were trying to seduce our Lord even when you were fully made of metal AND when your simulation avatar was an 'emotionless robot'."
Temptation gave her a look. "And YOU were secretly perverted even when you were doing that whole 'holier than thou' schtick…"
Jessica watched with growing amusement as the two sisters began denying, teasing, arguing, and… Yeah, they certainly ACTED like siblings. "Should I get you girls a room?"
Grace blushed bright red while Temptation… Began looking thoughtful. "I mean, I am pretty sure I am supposed to represent 'Sin' or something anyway, and my sister IS pretty hot…"
A pillow SMASHED into her face as she began cackling, Grace's fury unending as more pillows were simulated for proper ammunition purposes…
Jessica glanced over at her little brother, who seemed to have calmed down a bit now that he was modifying the planet sized brain network to have continent sized arms and legs like reality's largest Voltron robot.
They had a bit of time for this.
She smirked as she decided to add some fuel to the flames. "You know, technically you two are not biologically sisters… Plus, neither of you are at risk of having children with birth defects anyway thanks to Borg technology…"
Temptation roared in victory! "I KNEW IT! INCEST IS WIN-CEST! We should make a Master-Sandwich!"
Grace smashed her with feathery pillow justice! "BE SILENT YOU LUST DEMON!"
Said demoness cackled as she dodged! "Deny all you want, I'VE SEEN YOUR DIARY LOGS!"
MORE PILLOWS! "AAAH! DIE!"
Ha! This was better than television!
~~~Pocket System~~~
John narrowed his eyes… And cautiously clicked 'Duck Dynasty' to add it to the new short list.
For one thing, he had never personally fed ducks before. It showed up in stories and stuff, mostly in sad things, when people would go to a park and feed the geese or ducks or pigeons or whatever… But personally, it would be a new experience.
For another?
They were just so cute!
True, it was a bit strange to see fluffy yellow ducklings with tiny cheerful yellow prosthetics and stuff, and it MIGHT be a bit racist to see them all dressed up in custom designed holographic outfits belonging to the Qin Dynasty… But look at them!
Plus, they apparently followed visitors around like… Well, like ducklings.
And that sounded painfully adorable.
Thankfully, despite his new 'mature' Body and all that mess, he still felt comfortable enough with his own masculinity to openly vie for the cute options on the list. According to various network memes, a 'guy' was 'supposed' to push for action and explosions and stuff while finding 'girly' activities and hobbies boring or whatever.
…Didn't make a WHOLE lot of sense, considering some of those same activities (Such as tea ceremonies and stuff) had entire cultures revolving around them, while other 'girly' or 'manly' professions ended up dominated by the opposing genders, but whatever.
Cute was justice! Duck Dynasty was going on the list and that was that.
Now, that didn't mean he was exactly opposed to trying out the various water parks, race tracks, climbing gyms, and all the rest… Just not right now.
Right now he was aiming for something a bit more relaxing and less stressful.
…Uh, which meant he should probably remove the popular online dimensional simulation of an ancient classic Earth video game, Slenderman. His sister would… Probably not be thrilled if she picked that one.
In fact, let's just remove ALL the various video games ported into the simulation, especially the ones based on the 'Horror' and 'Gore' genre. Awesome sounding or not, they probably wouldn't be THAT relaxing.
Might also remove the one that attempted to recreate 'Pokémon' too, considering the warnings he kept getting when he looked at it too hard.
Once more, John reached towards 'MMO Pokémon Pantheon' and…
[[WARNING! Simulation blurs the boundaries of Realm and {{C҈̢̗̞̈́͠E̸̪̝͚̾̐̚͜͠N̷͖͆͜͝S̸̡̫̏͡Ō̷̙͜͡R̷̨̬͖̅͡Ě̶̩̥͜͞D̴̢̲̠͖҇͒}}, HOST is NOT encouraged to interact with simulation!]]
Yeah, that… That didn't seem right.
It was just one of the many options that his System was trying to push him away from… And ONLY him. When Jessica was making this list, there was no issue detected or warnings provided.
But when HE tried to suggest choosing 'Kortar's Conquest of Qui'Tu' or 'Genesis of Sha Ka Ree'...
[[WARNING! Simulation blurs the boundaries of Realm and {{C҈̢̗̞̈́͠E̸̪̝͚̾̐̚͜͠N̷͖͆͜͝S̸̡̫̏͡Ō̷̙͜͡R̷̨̬͖̅͡Ě̶̩̥͜͞D̴̢̲̠͖҇͒}}, HOST is NOT encouraged to interact with simulation!]]
Yeah, that happened.
It was a bit fascinating… But when enough Drones populated simulations that were firmly connected to the societies that Believed them, it had a sort of Resonance effect. It was a bit hard to determine exactly what was the cause and effects of all this, but if nothing else? The power requirements of those simulations was MUCH higher than other ones, even ones with larger scopes and a higher level of complexity rendered within.
And no one seemed to notice, no reports were generated by the excess resources needed to operate them… They simply seemed to slip through any attempts to detect abnormalities when reviewed.
So yeah: Maybe the duckling simulation.
After all, seeing a baby duck with a huge fake chinese mustache was SO cute, even if (Again) it might be slightly racist. Maybe.
Like, they WERE chinese ducklings in the end! Their scanned genetic samples CAME from China when Earth was assimilated and everything!
Meh, whatever. Not his concern really.
Point is, he was sticking to much smaller simulations than the ones that kept setting off his defensive warnings. Even microscopic ones, like the 'bowling alley' simulator or the 'putt-putt golf world' options… Entire simulations only running a single facility or activity.
Those were so tiny, he'd even be able to download the data matrix for the entire mess and store them in his Pocket without his sister noticing!
Which was good, because she had seemed a bit concerned with his described plan to 'download the entire virtual universe' earlier and she had put that on hold for now.
But surely duplicating a few towns worth of entertainment wouldn't be that big a deal.
Right? Right!
Plus it would be pretty trivial to use these as building models for future Realms, so it was technically sort-of work related. Or education related, or something.
After all: Why bother designing a massive chocolate factory from scratch in the future if he could download a thematically accurate Willy Wonka replication HERE, already altered by the Borg to actually produce amazing chocolate USING the silly designs the movie came up with?
Think of all the saved time! All the boosts of efficiency and productivity!
…Even if most of the 'schematics' were focused on internet memes and nostalgic Earth media and stuff.
Oh, there were literally endless options here from other cultures and stuff TOO, such as the Klingon Hunting simulation and whatever, a few of which he also snagged… But mostly John was just duplicating a bunch of the stuff from good ole species 5618.
And species 5618.b and species 5618.c, when the two alternate reality versions of Earth had popped into this universe at some point.
His sister was pretty sure that crazy chaos was due to some sort of super powered aliens focused entirely on self gratification and entertainment messing with this place, but all JOHN cared about was all the extra entertainment and media options it had made available for collection.
Near infinite Pocket space plus Administrative access equals…?
Yonk!
John paused.
He had… He had told his sister that he had duplicated basically three realities worth of historical Earth entertainment, yes?
Uh.
His mind flickered back, just to double check.
Get prevented from scooping his brain, frantically attempt to escape being lectured, failing to hide from his sister, zoning out while she was dragging him back to the 'study area', him yoinking a bunch of simulation data matrices, her noticing his distraction, him mentioning downloading 'All The Things!', umm…
John slowed down his scrolling of the listed vacation options, thinking over that again.
…Shit, she hadn't asked him what he had managed to duplicate due to boredom during her speech. And HE hadn't realized she was unaware of his actual activities during the several seconds she hadn't been paying attention.
John just assumed she would know, the same way he always knew what was going on with his Pocket on a fundamental level.
So uh… There was a slight possibility she was fully UNAWARE that he had stored away data matrices of a few dozen planets and their documented dimensional alternatives, not to mention a massive mountain of internet garbage and media.
And porn of course, but that was pretty much the DEFINITION of 'internet garbage', so that went without saying. Trying to filter that mess out was WAY too much work, and he was sure Temptation would love the 'research material' anyway so he hadn't bothered.
Point was: Was John about to get in trouble when Jessica found out how much he had ALREADY collected before she was aware enough of what he was doing to ask him to stop?
Um.
He mentally checked the MASSIVE amount of data stored away in his Pocket. A heavy mix of information, Conceptual power, Belief, Magic (Which SHOULD NOT EXIST HERE, thank you very much!), and required Technological hardware.
…Maybe she wouldn't notice it?
Like, theoretically it was a lot… But his Pocket was PRETTY big too, so comparatively it wasn't all THAT much stuff, right?
Maybe she WOULDN'T find out about this…
"John?"
Yeah, that might happen. YEAH! He'd just need to make sure the data itself wasn't accessed that often so she wouldn't be drawn to it, and maybe add a few layers of security… Let's just quickly check up on the storage setup he had thrown together back then, see how it was all laid out.
"Bro? Are you alright?"
Shit, that was a LOT of System interaction with the data! WHY was his Pocket scanning over this mess a few million times per second!? System!
[[HOST'S Crafting requirements necessitate…]]
Crafting requirements? WHAT Crafting requirements!?
"Grace, something's wrong with John, and I don't want to touch him when he is glowing like this. Can you tell what is going on here?"
[[When HOST was searching for simulations based on historical movies, television shows, and video games from Earth history there was a significant lack of results. To provide the Crafting results desired by the HOST, the following simulations were deconstructed and analyzed to better optimize the programing process for the desired products: Simulation 4563218468432441, simulation 4563218468432488, simulation 4563218468432512, sim…]]
Crap, do you mean that this whole time I have been CREATING these stupid simulations I've been stealing!?
"My Lord seems to be deeply introspective, in a state of self reflection and at one with the world. I'm sure he is currently undergoing Enlightenment, seeing a brighter future and the infinite potential good generated by his actions."
[[The concept of theft does not apply in the current situation, avoiding the restrictions and restraints applied by HOST's elder sibling…]]
Shit, I've been making the loot that I've been stealing! I'm like the WORST THIEF EVER! AAH!
NO ONE CAN EVER KNOW!
"Are you sure? That… That doesn't sound like John."
No wonder things were going a bit odd! At least some of the simulations were probably being constructed using actual data feeds of nearby Realms as reference when they cluster in Significance clumps or start aligning with causality ripples, and his Pocket was going crazy because it was having to translate Magic and other energy types into forms that the local Realm could understand by bending Technology a little bit to make it all squeeze in there…
"Oh, step aside you two! I know what Master needs right now."
He was going to be in so much trouble! Or not? Yeah, maybe not! After all, he DIDN'T download the universe, he was sort of cribbing the notes of a few thousand nearby reality clusters and retroactively reverse engineering them all while Crafting a simulated reality focused on one or more aspect of those unreachable places to best conform with the local Rules and Laws that bound existence within the local…
John blinked as Temptation leaned back. "Eh?"
The sexy black woman with a blood red dress puffed her sizable chest out with pride. "See? Fixed him!"
He touched his lips. "Did… Did you just kiss me?"
She smirked. "Nope!"
…What? "I think you just kissed me." Right?
Temptation sauntered to the side, her white angel of a sister face palming as she passed. "Nah, you must be imagining things. So, have you picked where we are going for vacation?"
Huh?
What was going on right now? "I… I honestly was just freaking out a bit because I might have accidentally created a few dozen worlds worth of simulated reality and then robbed myself without telling my sister that I had downloaded the internet."
She HAD just kissed him! Right? RIGHT!?
Jessica blinked. "Wait, what was that?"
Yeah, she had definitely kissed him! And he hadn't even been paying attention!
What a rip off!
Temptation noticed her sister's glare and her smirk grew. "Oh don't look at me like that, you're just angry YOU didn't think to kiss him first."
Grace coughed loudly, picking up his modified list. "SO LET'S TALK ABOUT THESE VACATION OPTIONS, SHALL WE!?"
Jessica stepped forward. "Alright, alright, calm down and let me look at that first… Also John, we will talk about your whole 'robbery' statement later."
Hang on, what!? HOW DID SHE KNOW!?
John whined. "Aww… Fine."
It took him a few tries to carefully sit down though, considering he was tied up.
He was ALSO attempting to look like he had failed, that he had given up…
She wasn't fooled for a moment. "Have you FULLY disabled ALL the equipment outside that can harvest your brain now? ALL of them!?"
He looked shifty. "...Mostly?"
Oh for crying out loud! "John, I want you to disable any and ALL hardware OR software that has the intention, ability, OR 'incidental effect' of moving your brain out of your current body. The one outside this simulation."
He huffed, unable to move much since she had tied him up tightly. "I don't see why you are making a big deal out of it, the new schematics seem TOTALLY safe! It's basically a little jacuzzi for my skull meat, how cool is that!? PLUS I'd get all the features: Temperature control, nutrient optimization, a direct mental feed into the simulation, minute electrical shocks to encourage healthy brain growth…"
She stared at her brother. "Your girls said they would TALK to us about it. They agreed, with each other, that WE should discuss the entire situation. We. Not 'Just John'. Us."
Her brother turned that idea over and over, squished it, looked at it long ways and short ways, inverted the entire mess… Then sighed. "Yeah, that's fair."
Jessica sat across from him. "John." Stay calm. "WHY are you so invested in the idea of pulling out your brain."
He shifted. "No reason."
She stared at him.
He looked away, trying not to glance back.
She raised an eyebrow. "John?"
He frowned. "It's just… It's a little tempting, you know?"
Sigh. "No, I do not know. But I would like to understand: WHY does this appeal to you so much?"
With a sigh, John casually escaped all the bindings and sat more comfortably, manipulating the simulation with trivial ease. "It's because of this bit." He tapped the schematics just pulled up from the file.
Hmm? "Let me see that." It was part of the fluid optimization process, the bits that controlled what went in the blood and other fluids that would be surrounding the gray matter. "...I'll be straight here, I don't see anything that stands out."
John highlighted a bit. "It will attempt to provide 'optimum base levels' of most chemicals needed for peak state operation."
Still not seeing it. "And?"
He sighed. "Drastically reduced hormone imbalances. As my brain produces them, these filters will cut my hormonal emotional spikes down by half attempting to keep me in 'prime condition'. Plus, you know: I'd become part of a robot planet. Being a percentage of a giant planet sized robot sounds AWESOME! Right?"
Jessica pulled up the file imagery. "As a planet, you'd basically be a big rock… So no, it doesn't sound awesome. No limbs… I mean, would you really enjoy being a giant metal head? At least become a huge metal lizard or something."
He raised an objection… Almost. "Good point, I… I might not have thought that bit through entirely."
Not to mention… "Plus, the girls would be pretty disappointed if they came out to finally show off their new forms and all the hard work they did to find you disconnected from the simulation and stuck in a brain jar, floating about."
John winced. "...Another, VERY good point. That… That wouldn't have gone well."
Looking at her brother… She sighed. "Look, in the future? I won't even say NO necessarily! I KNOW how trivial it is for you to change bodies or alter your own, if you want to be a robot for a while or whatever that's fine! Just… I don't like how frantic you were to 'transplant your brain' just now. What's going on, bro?"
He began jiggling his leg. "I… I might be a bit nervous meeting the girls. You know, with it just being the three of us and with me having grown up a bit, if a bit oddly. I tried really hard not to hurt them or mess anything up, but all the recent stuff? The basically-but-not-really magic side effects we saw, the unplanned 'self genesis' that went on, being attacked out of the blue all of the sudden…"
Her brother seemed on edge. "I just felt so worried! Did all this change them? Are they angry? When they sent me those awesome design plans it felt like an instant escape option! A chance to not worry about all those nagging doubts and do something fun and simple like scoop the skull goop, ya know?"
…Alright, her brother may not be 100% normal, fair enough, but she knew that going in. "Not… Not entirely? But somewhat, I guess. Are you more calm NOW though? Do you want me to talk to them first, to make sure they are alright?"
He gave a small nod.
Good, they were getting somewhere. "I'll check in with them then, you just sit down and relax, maybe see if you can improve the girl's 'brain transplant' server design, alright? Alright." She pushed forward a much smaller list, with a few choice options. "And meanwhile, why don't you look over the places I was interested in for our first trip while I'm gone?"
He accepted the file, and she gave his shoulder a squeeze…
Yeah, he'd be alright.
Still, just in case. System, please lock down any brain related surgeries for now, alright?
[[Confirmed, with exceptions.]]
…Excuse me?
[[Exception 1: When the life of the HOST is at stake. Exception 2: When the risks of…]]
Oh, right! No, that makes sense, carry on.
[[Confirmed.]]
Walking away from her brother, she pulled up the audio feed. "Did you both get that?"
The black demoness looked frustrated! "Stupid simulation synchronization delays! Master needs huggles NOW! I wish I had never HAD my stupid server idea in the first place!"
The white angel gave her a side hug. "Your idea wasn't stupid, and our Lord is clearly VERY impressed by your hard work sis… Maybe a little bit TOO impressed, but still!"
Jessica hummed. "Let's give him a bit to calm down, then you can let him know that you both still care about him and aren't mad about this whole fiasco that we've been undergoing."
Temptation snarled at the feed! "Of COURSE we aren't mad at HIM! Our Master Crafted us PERSONALLY! And he has continued to work for us every moment since then! We'd be real bitches if we…" "Language!" "...Sorry sis. I mean, this shi… This stuff isn't even his fault to begin with! Gah, why am I so emotional about this right now!?"
Grace winced. "The simulation for our new 'organic' cybernetic bodies is… VERY accurate."
The dark woman paused. "Wait, the reason I'm so fuckin… Freaking horny and angry and horny and sad and horny and frustrated is because of our new bodies!?"
The angel hesitated. "Well, not entirely. After all, you were trying to seduce our Lord even when you were fully made of metal AND when your simulation avatar was an 'emotionless robot'."
Temptation gave her a look. "And YOU were secretly perverted even when you were doing that whole 'holier than thou' schtick…"
Jessica watched with growing amusement as the two sisters began denying, teasing, arguing, and… Yeah, they certainly ACTED like siblings. "Should I get you girls a room?"
Grace blushed bright red while Temptation… Began looking thoughtful. "I mean, I am pretty sure I am supposed to represent 'Sin' or something anyway, and my sister IS pretty hot…"
A pillow SMASHED into her face as she began cackling, Grace's fury unending as more pillows were simulated for proper ammunition purposes…
Jessica glanced over at her little brother, who seemed to have calmed down a bit now that he was modifying the planet sized brain network to have continent sized arms and legs like reality's largest Voltron robot.
They had a bit of time for this.
She smirked as she decided to add some fuel to the flames. "You know, technically you two are not biologically sisters… Plus, neither of you are at risk of having children with birth defects anyway thanks to Borg technology…"
Temptation roared in victory! "I KNEW IT! INCEST IS WIN-CEST! We should make a Master-Sandwich!"
Grace smashed her with feathery pillow justice! "BE SILENT YOU LUST DEMON!"
Said demoness cackled as she dodged! "Deny all you want, I'VE SEEN YOUR DIARY LOGS!"
MORE PILLOWS! "AAAH! DIE!"
Ha! This was better than television!
~~~Pocket System~~~
John narrowed his eyes… And cautiously clicked 'Duck Dynasty' to add it to the new short list.
For one thing, he had never personally fed ducks before. It showed up in stories and stuff, mostly in sad things, when people would go to a park and feed the geese or ducks or pigeons or whatever… But personally, it would be a new experience.
For another?
They were just so cute!
True, it was a bit strange to see fluffy yellow ducklings with tiny cheerful yellow prosthetics and stuff, and it MIGHT be a bit racist to see them all dressed up in custom designed holographic outfits belonging to the Qin Dynasty… But look at them!
Plus, they apparently followed visitors around like… Well, like ducklings.
And that sounded painfully adorable.
Thankfully, despite his new 'mature' Body and all that mess, he still felt comfortable enough with his own masculinity to openly vie for the cute options on the list. According to various network memes, a 'guy' was 'supposed' to push for action and explosions and stuff while finding 'girly' activities and hobbies boring or whatever.
…Didn't make a WHOLE lot of sense, considering some of those same activities (Such as tea ceremonies and stuff) had entire cultures revolving around them, while other 'girly' or 'manly' professions ended up dominated by the opposing genders, but whatever.
Cute was justice! Duck Dynasty was going on the list and that was that.
Now, that didn't mean he was exactly opposed to trying out the various water parks, race tracks, climbing gyms, and all the rest… Just not right now.
Right now he was aiming for something a bit more relaxing and less stressful.
…Uh, which meant he should probably remove the popular online dimensional simulation of an ancient classic Earth video game, Slenderman. His sister would… Probably not be thrilled if she picked that one.
In fact, let's just remove ALL the various video games ported into the simulation, especially the ones based on the 'Horror' and 'Gore' genre. Awesome sounding or not, they probably wouldn't be THAT relaxing.
Might also remove the one that attempted to recreate 'Pokémon' too, considering the warnings he kept getting when he looked at it too hard.
Once more, John reached towards 'MMO Pokémon Pantheon' and…
[[WARNING! Simulation blurs the boundaries of Realm and {{C҈̢̗̞̈́͠E̸̪̝͚̾̐̚͜͠N̷͖͆͜͝S̸̡̫̏͡Ō̷̙͜͡R̷̨̬͖̅͡Ě̶̩̥͜͞D̴̢̲̠͖҇͒}}, HOST is NOT encouraged to interact with simulation!]]
Yeah, that… That didn't seem right.
It was just one of the many options that his System was trying to push him away from… And ONLY him. When Jessica was making this list, there was no issue detected or warnings provided.
But when HE tried to suggest choosing 'Kortar's Conquest of Qui'Tu' or 'Genesis of Sha Ka Ree'...
[[WARNING! Simulation blurs the boundaries of Realm and {{C҈̢̗̞̈́͠E̸̪̝͚̾̐̚͜͠N̷͖͆͜͝S̸̡̫̏͡Ō̷̙͜͡R̷̨̬͖̅͡Ě̶̩̥͜͞D̴̢̲̠͖҇͒}}, HOST is NOT encouraged to interact with simulation!]]
Yeah, that happened.
It was a bit fascinating… But when enough Drones populated simulations that were firmly connected to the societies that Believed them, it had a sort of Resonance effect. It was a bit hard to determine exactly what was the cause and effects of all this, but if nothing else? The power requirements of those simulations was MUCH higher than other ones, even ones with larger scopes and a higher level of complexity rendered within.
And no one seemed to notice, no reports were generated by the excess resources needed to operate them… They simply seemed to slip through any attempts to detect abnormalities when reviewed.
So yeah: Maybe the duckling simulation.
After all, seeing a baby duck with a huge fake chinese mustache was SO cute, even if (Again) it might be slightly racist. Maybe.
Like, they WERE chinese ducklings in the end! Their scanned genetic samples CAME from China when Earth was assimilated and everything!
Meh, whatever. Not his concern really.
Point is, he was sticking to much smaller simulations than the ones that kept setting off his defensive warnings. Even microscopic ones, like the 'bowling alley' simulator or the 'putt-putt golf world' options… Entire simulations only running a single facility or activity.
Those were so tiny, he'd even be able to download the data matrix for the entire mess and store them in his Pocket without his sister noticing!
Which was good, because she had seemed a bit concerned with his described plan to 'download the entire virtual universe' earlier and she had put that on hold for now.
But surely duplicating a few towns worth of entertainment wouldn't be that big a deal.
Right? Right!
Plus it would be pretty trivial to use these as building models for future Realms, so it was technically sort-of work related. Or education related, or something.
After all: Why bother designing a massive chocolate factory from scratch in the future if he could download a thematically accurate Willy Wonka replication HERE, already altered by the Borg to actually produce amazing chocolate USING the silly designs the movie came up with?
Think of all the saved time! All the boosts of efficiency and productivity!
…Even if most of the 'schematics' were focused on internet memes and nostalgic Earth media and stuff.
Oh, there were literally endless options here from other cultures and stuff TOO, such as the Klingon Hunting simulation and whatever, a few of which he also snagged… But mostly John was just duplicating a bunch of the stuff from good ole species 5618.
And species 5618.b and species 5618.c, when the two alternate reality versions of Earth had popped into this universe at some point.
His sister was pretty sure that crazy chaos was due to some sort of super powered aliens focused entirely on self gratification and entertainment messing with this place, but all JOHN cared about was all the extra entertainment and media options it had made available for collection.
Near infinite Pocket space plus Administrative access equals…?
Yonk!
John paused.
He had… He had told his sister that he had duplicated basically three realities worth of historical Earth entertainment, yes?
Uh.
His mind flickered back, just to double check.
Get prevented from scooping his brain, frantically attempt to escape being lectured, failing to hide from his sister, zoning out while she was dragging him back to the 'study area', him yoinking a bunch of simulation data matrices, her noticing his distraction, him mentioning downloading 'All The Things!', umm…
John slowed down his scrolling of the listed vacation options, thinking over that again.
…Shit, she hadn't asked him what he had managed to duplicate due to boredom during her speech. And HE hadn't realized she was unaware of his actual activities during the several seconds she hadn't been paying attention.
John just assumed she would know, the same way he always knew what was going on with his Pocket on a fundamental level.
So uh… There was a slight possibility she was fully UNAWARE that he had stored away data matrices of a few dozen planets and their documented dimensional alternatives, not to mention a massive mountain of internet garbage and media.
And porn of course, but that was pretty much the DEFINITION of 'internet garbage', so that went without saying. Trying to filter that mess out was WAY too much work, and he was sure Temptation would love the 'research material' anyway so he hadn't bothered.
Point was: Was John about to get in trouble when Jessica found out how much he had ALREADY collected before she was aware enough of what he was doing to ask him to stop?
Um.
He mentally checked the MASSIVE amount of data stored away in his Pocket. A heavy mix of information, Conceptual power, Belief, Magic (Which SHOULD NOT EXIST HERE, thank you very much!), and required Technological hardware.
…Maybe she wouldn't notice it?
Like, theoretically it was a lot… But his Pocket was PRETTY big too, so comparatively it wasn't all THAT much stuff, right?
Maybe she WOULDN'T find out about this…
"John?"
Yeah, that might happen. YEAH! He'd just need to make sure the data itself wasn't accessed that often so she wouldn't be drawn to it, and maybe add a few layers of security… Let's just quickly check up on the storage setup he had thrown together back then, see how it was all laid out.
"Bro? Are you alright?"
Shit, that was a LOT of System interaction with the data! WHY was his Pocket scanning over this mess a few million times per second!? System!
[[HOST'S Crafting requirements necessitate…]]
Crafting requirements? WHAT Crafting requirements!?
"Grace, something's wrong with John, and I don't want to touch him when he is glowing like this. Can you tell what is going on here?"
[[When HOST was searching for simulations based on historical movies, television shows, and video games from Earth history there was a significant lack of results. To provide the Crafting results desired by the HOST, the following simulations were deconstructed and analyzed to better optimize the programing process for the desired products: Simulation 4563218468432441, simulation 4563218468432488, simulation 4563218468432512, sim…]]
Crap, do you mean that this whole time I have been CREATING these stupid simulations I've been stealing!?
"My Lord seems to be deeply introspective, in a state of self reflection and at one with the world. I'm sure he is currently undergoing Enlightenment, seeing a brighter future and the infinite potential good generated by his actions."
[[The concept of theft does not apply in the current situation, avoiding the restrictions and restraints applied by HOST's elder sibling…]]
Shit, I've been making the loot that I've been stealing! I'm like the WORST THIEF EVER! AAH!
NO ONE CAN EVER KNOW!
"Are you sure? That… That doesn't sound like John."
No wonder things were going a bit odd! At least some of the simulations were probably being constructed using actual data feeds of nearby Realms as reference when they cluster in Significance clumps or start aligning with causality ripples, and his Pocket was going crazy because it was having to translate Magic and other energy types into forms that the local Realm could understand by bending Technology a little bit to make it all squeeze in there…
"Oh, step aside you two! I know what Master needs right now."
He was going to be in so much trouble! Or not? Yeah, maybe not! After all, he DIDN'T download the universe, he was sort of cribbing the notes of a few thousand nearby reality clusters and retroactively reverse engineering them all while Crafting a simulated reality focused on one or more aspect of those unreachable places to best conform with the local Rules and Laws that bound existence within the local…
John blinked as Temptation leaned back. "Eh?"
The sexy black woman with a blood red dress puffed her sizable chest out with pride. "See? Fixed him!"
He touched his lips. "Did… Did you just kiss me?"
She smirked. "Nope!"
…What? "I think you just kissed me." Right?
Temptation sauntered to the side, her white angel of a sister face palming as she passed. "Nah, you must be imagining things. So, have you picked where we are going for vacation?"
Huh?
What was going on right now? "I… I honestly was just freaking out a bit because I might have accidentally created a few dozen worlds worth of simulated reality and then robbed myself without telling my sister that I had downloaded the internet."
She HAD just kissed him! Right? RIGHT!?
Jessica blinked. "Wait, what was that?"
Yeah, she had definitely kissed him! And he hadn't even been paying attention!
What a rip off!
Temptation noticed her sister's glare and her smirk grew. "Oh don't look at me like that, you're just angry YOU didn't think to kiss him first."
Grace coughed loudly, picking up his modified list. "SO LET'S TALK ABOUT THESE VACATION OPTIONS, SHALL WE!?"
Jessica stepped forward. "Alright, alright, calm down and let me look at that first… Also John, we will talk about your whole 'robbery' statement later."
Hang on, what!? HOW DID SHE KNOW!?
Last edited:
- Location
- Earth U.S.
- Location
- Sol;Terra;EU;D;NRW
Oh my, John has a connection issue between inner and outer voice.
[[Pocket System]] will have serious trouble fixing the issues if he gets coherent enough to notice and define the problem.
If.
At least the gang is all together and ready duck it out now. I wonder if the chinese ducks have chinese boy band cover song groups.
If yes, do they shave the moustaches off? 🤔
[[Pocket System]] will have serious trouble fixing the issues if he gets coherent enough to notice and define the problem.
If.
At least the gang is all together and ready duck it out now. I wonder if the chinese ducks have chinese boy band cover song groups.
If yes, do they shave the moustaches off? 🤔
Robbing yourself because there is nothing else worthwhile to steal is a perfectly valid option. Why you could even set up entire challenge simulations of heisting the best stuff you own and then forget you made that simulation and steal it, now that is stealing on multiple levels.
Should be vie?
Also, just wanted to say this has been a thoroughly enjoyable read, and has caused me to re-read your previous work once again!
Is the Pokemon universe a multiversal virus? Is Arceus going to pop through the internet and slap every one googling lopunny? Question for reality.... Dose Azathoth and Arceus play cards on Tuesdays?
The fact that John's System is creating a bunch of what he is 'stealing' does somewhat imply that John could end up putting in a bunch of those simulations into the Borg databases. I'd imagine that there'd be a lot of interested parties. It would at least be a novelty to have the apparent wide selection of 'non-Borg' worlds. Might cause a revolution/resurgence of pre-Borg culture, depending on how much of those simulations existed prior to John inadvertently making them.
There's also the idea of all those Divine (or Faith?) based simulations, that John specifically isn't recommended to step in. Those could very well bring attention to the Borg controlled reality. Especially if the Q (or other entertainment seeking beings) blocked off the sight of them in the first place. While I doubt the Pokemon one was blocked specifically from this Realm rather than in general, since it's apparently nearby, it's quite possible there's a few Pokemon Realms that were.
Since it's likely that some of that 'entertainment' would have been shut down hard because it was attacking various followers/manipulating them into doing stupid things. And probably stealing their Followers in general.
At this point, it wouldn't surprise me if John ended up accidentally becoming a 'Borg Deity'. Or at least, one worshiped by the Borg, even if it's not quite the same as traditional worship. That kind of thing might be why the automatic system was setup. To prevent a new Divinity from popping up in their playground. Just gone to stupidly excessive levels, which ironically might end up helping John achieve that. Since he would have solved what was seen as an impossible problem. Heck, he's even gotten the experience of 'all the options at once' option, even if it was all conflicting. Creating all kinds of amazing things. Grace and Temptation outright call him their Creator, and the details of such only tie into that. And all those simulations no doubt have a 'created by' tag somewhere on them (that John didn't bother looking for).
I'm kind of surprised that John didn't have those simulations end up being more customizable. At least for something like the duck outfits, having different outfits selectable. Could be a later expansion based on either feedback, or just a more 'complete' version. Adding in more locations, even ones that wouldn't normally be associated with said animals, more species of them. Eventually consolidating them into scenarios that can pull from each other. There's already adorable videos of kittens and ducklings together, and stuff like that. Extending that out wouldn't be too out there. I think even the Holodeck tech had customization like that, with saveable states/setups.
And the Divinity bit might be part of why the Holodeck malfunctions happen. Since I think some of them are 'holograms literally come alive'. And I think some of them resulted in them leaving the Holodeck area, onto the rest of the ship? Having them manifesting like that could be the attempt of the Realm to fill the empty Void of Divinity protection using the Belief that it is Real (even if only temporary), and having it smacked back down by Q manipulation.
Though I do wonder if there's going to be another Universe incursion by one of the Q wanting to poke the rapid changes going on over in the 'boring' area. "Oh hey there's a massive amount of warnings flaring up there, and they stopped. Wonder if there's something interesting over there now. Toss some Starfleet at it, see what happens."
Which does allow a potential interaction with John and the whatever Starfleet group shows up. Mainly John showing off his simulations, and how they cover 'pretty much everything'. Which results in an 'impossibility' being suggested. Namely the 'last chapter of every Stephen King book', since those are outright lost in Star Trek. Though given time travel is a thing, I almost half expect that someone could have grabbed at least a scan of those books. There's probably several people willing to be bribed with being able to get access to that. Or other similar kinds of 'lost books'. Heck, that might even explain why that happened, other than being a jerk. Creating something rare, that people would want. And keep it secret, possibly even flaming the debate at what the mystery even was. Reusable too, if you had a stipulation that it can't be confirmed to exist. Since there probably were a bunch of attempts to present fakes as the real deal.
And to discredit someone trying to show off another one wouldn't be too hard. Yoink their access to it. And possibly replace it with an obvious forgery. Or in the case of those specific novels, copies of the known last surviving chapters. Since at that point it goes to 'wow you fell for a scam', since it technically is the last chapter. It's just not the missing last chapter.
There's also the idea of all those Divine (or Faith?) based simulations, that John specifically isn't recommended to step in. Those could very well bring attention to the Borg controlled reality. Especially if the Q (or other entertainment seeking beings) blocked off the sight of them in the first place. While I doubt the Pokemon one was blocked specifically from this Realm rather than in general, since it's apparently nearby, it's quite possible there's a few Pokemon Realms that were.
Since it's likely that some of that 'entertainment' would have been shut down hard because it was attacking various followers/manipulating them into doing stupid things. And probably stealing their Followers in general.
At this point, it wouldn't surprise me if John ended up accidentally becoming a 'Borg Deity'. Or at least, one worshiped by the Borg, even if it's not quite the same as traditional worship. That kind of thing might be why the automatic system was setup. To prevent a new Divinity from popping up in their playground. Just gone to stupidly excessive levels, which ironically might end up helping John achieve that. Since he would have solved what was seen as an impossible problem. Heck, he's even gotten the experience of 'all the options at once' option, even if it was all conflicting. Creating all kinds of amazing things. Grace and Temptation outright call him their Creator, and the details of such only tie into that. And all those simulations no doubt have a 'created by' tag somewhere on them (that John didn't bother looking for).
I'm kind of surprised that John didn't have those simulations end up being more customizable. At least for something like the duck outfits, having different outfits selectable. Could be a later expansion based on either feedback, or just a more 'complete' version. Adding in more locations, even ones that wouldn't normally be associated with said animals, more species of them. Eventually consolidating them into scenarios that can pull from each other. There's already adorable videos of kittens and ducklings together, and stuff like that. Extending that out wouldn't be too out there. I think even the Holodeck tech had customization like that, with saveable states/setups.
And the Divinity bit might be part of why the Holodeck malfunctions happen. Since I think some of them are 'holograms literally come alive'. And I think some of them resulted in them leaving the Holodeck area, onto the rest of the ship? Having them manifesting like that could be the attempt of the Realm to fill the empty Void of Divinity protection using the Belief that it is Real (even if only temporary), and having it smacked back down by Q manipulation.
Though I do wonder if there's going to be another Universe incursion by one of the Q wanting to poke the rapid changes going on over in the 'boring' area. "Oh hey there's a massive amount of warnings flaring up there, and they stopped. Wonder if there's something interesting over there now. Toss some Starfleet at it, see what happens."
Which does allow a potential interaction with John and the whatever Starfleet group shows up. Mainly John showing off his simulations, and how they cover 'pretty much everything'. Which results in an 'impossibility' being suggested. Namely the 'last chapter of every Stephen King book', since those are outright lost in Star Trek. Though given time travel is a thing, I almost half expect that someone could have grabbed at least a scan of those books. There's probably several people willing to be bribed with being able to get access to that. Or other similar kinds of 'lost books'. Heck, that might even explain why that happened, other than being a jerk. Creating something rare, that people would want. And keep it secret, possibly even flaming the debate at what the mystery even was. Reusable too, if you had a stipulation that it can't be confirmed to exist. Since there probably were a bunch of attempts to present fakes as the real deal.
And to discredit someone trying to show off another one wouldn't be too hard. Yoink their access to it. And possibly replace it with an obvious forgery. Or in the case of those specific novels, copies of the known last surviving chapters. Since at that point it goes to 'wow you fell for a scam', since it technically is the last chapter. It's just not the missing last chapter.
- Location
- Hiding under your bed
- Pronouns
- She/Her
In this section
i do believe you meant destruction to be distraction instead.
i do believe you meant destruction to be distraction instead.
I don't know about that, but certainly they are aware of one another.
Update on Friday will be on schedule.
- Location
- Here
Oh dear.
Not entirely story related, but NEARLY so: If John spends TOO much time in the simulation without making a new [[Home]], he runs the risk of subconsciously considering the Borg network ITSELF his [[Home]]... Which uh. Would have consequences.
Hasn't happened yet, and hopefully WON'T be an issue, but uh... Yeah, hadn't realized it could be a concern.
Sort of like a Conceptual communal enhancement? 'Come, my house is your [[Home]]!' takes on a whole new context in this case...
Not entirely story related, but NEARLY so: If John spends TOO much time in the simulation without making a new [[Home]], he runs the risk of subconsciously considering the Borg network ITSELF his [[Home]]... Which uh. Would have consequences.
Hasn't happened yet, and hopefully WON'T be an issue, but uh... Yeah, hadn't realized it could be a concern.
Sort of like a Conceptual communal enhancement? 'Come, my house is your [[Home]]!' takes on a whole new context in this case...
That's almost what I was thinking might end up happening.
But I was thinking more along the lines of what I believe Grace and Temptation talked about. Or at least something based off of some of their lines. In that John would end up creating a [[Home]] Server, that was separated from the Borg Network. Even if it connects outside of itself into the Borg Network.[/spoiler]
But I was thinking more along the lines of what I believe Grace and Temptation talked about. Or at least something based off of some of their lines. In that John would end up creating a [[Home]] Server, that was separated from the Borg Network. Even if it connects outside of itself into the Borg Network.[/spoiler]
RageMage
Sir "Shitshow in the making"
- Location
- Vienna
I love how @theaceoffire information posts allways have this hint of disbelief of what their own characters do.
It allways feels as if John or Adam have their own mind and the author is also only along for the ride.
No idea where they are they heading but their sure are going places. ^^
As always your story rocks.
It allways feels as if John or Adam have their own mind and the author is also only along for the ride.
No idea where they are they heading but their sure are going places. ^^
As always your story rocks.
Fragnostic
Cheshire
- Location
- Neko City
This seems like it depicts John's reaction perfectly:
View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WhwqBUCYQO0
View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WhwqBUCYQO0
- Location
- United States
Gonna be honest, I was really hopeing that if something like this happened it would be in Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends.
Feed the birds, Chinese ducks in drag…
- Location
- Here
After a bit of quick thinking and a significant amount of lecturing, John managed to divert his sister and the girls from his thievery issues by suggesting a quick display of his (unexpected) products!
It didn't NEGATE being grounded for accidentally attempting to download Reality into his Pocket, but it HAD distracted his sister before she could establish what said grounding would actually entail.
Heck, if he played his cards right he might be able to distract her from this whole mess entirely and avoid ALL the potential consequences of his earlier slipup!
Which was good, because he needed that time to look into his Pocket settings and figure out what exactly happened here. He even decided to set aside the 'Planetary Transformer Server of Awesomeness' project entirely for now!
John was being SUPER focused and ULTRA mature about fixing this issue! It would be fixed, no problem and no doubt!
So uh… What had actually gone wrong here?
His current theory? Accidentally setting up his System to be TOO helpful.
When his [[Home]] was established, his Pocket allocated a low percentage of his Resources to automatically supply any needed materials to those visiting his residency… Which then grew to include all of Doe Park and the Underpark.
And if something was needed but not available, John had configured his Pocket to simply Craft what was needed from that tiny amount of allocated resources mentioned earlier.
So BEFORE coming here, his Pocket was already prepared to just Craft anything he desired, as long as it only required minimal investment and used materials already designated as consumable or recyclable.
Then John had gotten a new body.
One that could use raw power to convert base material elements into any known patterns, via the various teleportation modules or the experimental replicators that had been tossed into his mess of a system.
Then he had taken said new body, wired it up directly to a planet's worth of Borg efficient power generation with no limitations or security measures, and… Well…
Suddenly, that 'tiny fraction of available spare resources' didn't calculate out to be nearly that 'tiny' anymore. Not even remotely.
The 'available materials to work with' needle was actually pointing a bit closer to 'unlimited' than 'negligible amount', honestly. And he didn't actually have any alerts set up to WARN him when some portion of his System accidentally transcended limitations due to unexpected local mishaps.
Like, he did NOW, but not BEFORE!
He uh… He was still going to have to go back and look into the mess after he finished distracting his new tour group around the newly Crafted privately owned simulation scenarios.
There might be MANY side effects to just having his System auto-Craft a bunch of stuff without his notice, and it would probably be a great idea to review any actions it may have taken… A point mentioned several times by his sister during her opening rants when he explained the general situation and all that.
But hopefully showing off the (accidentally created) simulated wonders would both distract them from his earlier 'oopsie' AND be a fun little social activity! A bonding experience, maybe a chance to see what that 'not a kiss' thing was about!
Plus, as mentioned before: He never HAD fed ducks at a pond before.
It was about time to change that! Let's go throw food fragments at birds! WOO!
This should be fun!
~~~Pocket System~~~
John didn't pout as he sat in the back with his sister and the girls quietly.
After all, it would be rude to intrude on the ongoings… Even if, due to rules established in the Simulation, none of the ducks noticed nor interacted with the odd bystanders in the court.
They were aware of the tall non-ducks in the back, just… Didn't seem to care that much, as much larger issues (Figuratively) were at stake right now.
"Quack quacken quack QUACK!" A dramatic wing pointed at the shocked duckling at the witness stand!
The court began clucking and quacking and pecking at corn in the audience seating, all a flutter in astonishment!
BANG bang BANG! "Quack! Quack quack quack quack!" The wise Judge Duck of Duckerton smashed his gavel as he called for order!
Jessica was fascinated. "I never suspected the gardener did it."
Grace hummed. "Sometimes it is the most innocent quacks that disguise the most incriminating waddles of them all!"
John frowned. "I… I don't even REMEMBER watching Matlock, when did it get sampled to be added into the simulation's 'random special event' easter eggs?"
Temptation just hugged him closer. "Shh, I feel like a big dramatic twist is building up soon."
He sighed and scattered some more corn to the slightly less intellectual audience ducklings, who eagerly quacked and bustled about to enjoy the lovely snack. "I'll admit, I am pretty impressed that the Borg translation matrix software can even interpret a language that is over 90% composed of a single sound… But I was expecting more, you know…"
Jessica lightly smacked his shoulder. "Shh, the defense attorney is about to cross examine the witness!"
"Quack quack quack… Quack QUACK QUACK!" "Quack!?" Quack quack quack!" "QUACK!?"
Temptation grinned! "Ha, I KNEW there was a setup for a big dramatic reveal here!"
John sighed as the room went nuts with loud quacking and the Judge attempted to regain order. "I want to go visit the pond after this though, alright? Please?"
His sister absently nodded. "Of course, John. I don't know Grace, I'm not sure I believe the whole seed smuggling ring allegations at all anymore at this point. Do you think that was a coverup story, or a…"
Temptation giggled! "Shh, I don't want to miss this bit!"
Sigh… John slumped slightly.
At least he could enjoy the cuddling with his demoness until the trial wraps up.
~~~Pocket System~~~
John frowned. "Alright, the 'auto-generate simulation scenario' script must have been acting up when it designed this pond."
Grace was holding a bread crumb over her head the size of a small car as she shouted towards the ocean sized water source! "THE LORD HAS PROVIDED SUSTENANCE! THIS CRUMB HA BEEN BESTOWED UPON YE, THE DUCKLING OF LARGE SIZE! BLESSED BE THE DUCKS!"
A massive yellow webbed foot shifted nearby. "Q҉̨͈̝̩͛̒͐͡u҈̫̐͜͠ͅa҉̧̯̑͝c҉̧̪͇̇͠k̸̨̛̲͈͉͛̽̽."
Jessica was laughing like a mad woman as she helped Temptation struggle to carve off more massive snacks from the building sized bread loaf partially unwrapped nearby using their Borg weaponry, so at least THEY were having fun…
John pulled open the settings. "There shouldn't even BE an instance of 'Honey I shrunk the Kids' included in this scenario in the first place… Something is really messed up in my configuration scripts, it has to be!"
'Random special events' were supposed to be SPECIAL because they were RARE, not happening one after another!
But after they had been thrown into the Matlock thing they barely had an hour of relaxing at the pond before they got zapped by a horrified duck in a lab coat transporting a familiar shrink ray device and now…
Temptation chewed on a fragment of a fragment of a bit of crumb. "Man, is it supposed to taste this good? Hey Master, come taste this! This shit is like five star quality bread here, no joke!"
"LANGUAGE!"
John slumped. "In a second, I just… I need to know why we keep getting pulled into strange situations like this. I can probably fix it in a minute or two."
Jessica laughed as her welding laser was used to toast/harvest another massive crumb of bread. "Come on bro, climb up here and try this!"
It did look pretty awesome… But he really shouldn't… "Maybe in a bit."
She flexed her limb, her fingers altering into sharp claws that easily supported her weight as the nearby car sized crumb began to tumble down the loaf. "Real talk for a second here: Are we in danger right now?"
John blinked. "No?"
His sister nodded. "And will more crazy stuff happen to us SOON, or do we have time to enjoy this a bit?"
Uh. "No additional scenarios should happen as long as we REMAIN in one like this… Until we hike over that way to the shrink ray and climb up it to 'complete' the challenge, or until we officially give up, I mean."
After all, this wasn't one of the timed challenges or multiplayer games or whatever. The whole point of this movie adaptation was to enjoy the strange world of being tiny, after all.
His sister grinned! "Then climb up here and help me carve off more crumbs for Grace to feed the ducklings, alright? I promise we won't end the scenario or anything until you get a chance to figure out what is going on and all that, so there shouldn't be any rush. Right?"
John blinked as he considered things from that point of view… And uh… Yes, she had a point. "Alright, yeah… Yeah, as long as we don't set off another 'random event', it should be safe enough for us to relax here a bit."
She laughed! "Then climb on up and help me work through this ridge of crust up here! I want to see if we can hack off a stable enough chunk to eat the inside and turn it into a sled or something."
John began altering his artificial right arm to one of the bladed options. "Be right there!"
Grace giggled as she flew past him towards more crumbs. "My Lord, you two hurry up! Our duckish followers are hungry for the crumbs of salvation!"
He felt his face break out into a smile as he began clumbering his way up the bread mountain… this craziness might not technically COUNT as 'feeding the ducks by the pond' officially, but to be fair? It WAS becoming a very memorable bonding experience! "More crumbs on the way, Grace!"
~~~Pocket System~~~
The Vulcan blinked as she entered one of the new simulations that had suddenly been added to the Collective network and found herself towering over the bustling crowds in the miniature city. "Fascinating."
A small creature wearing a dashing gray hat, labeled as 'Detective Duckling', waddled up to her foot as her prosthetics took local scans. "Quack."
It was apparently smoking a pipe, which was producing bubbles. For some unknown reason.
T'mer knelt for easier communication. "I am sorry, but you are mistaken: I am not this 'Dr. Watson' you are searching for."
The 'duckling' then huffed, puffed some bubbles, and then pointed the pipe at her as he began to waddle to one side. "Quack."
Oh, she was to play the ROLE of said doctor, for there was a mystery afoot.
Well, she had decided to explore this simulation to find answers. It would be logical to continue her journey and find where said answers may lead. "Very well, Mr. Holmes."
The tiny animal hadn't even paused his stride, tiny tail wagging back and forth as he stalked some unknown suspect. "Quack?"
She carefully followed, not willing to injure or impact any of the passing ducks in their small costumes. "No, I am afraid I am unaware of the recent theft of an entire private library. Assume that I am fully uninformed of any local events or activities."
As he puffed his pipe, he glanced over one wing and gave her a look. "Quack."
Her eyes widened. "An entire book thieving ring? Astounding. And this next location is the scene of the most recent heist?"
With resolution and a small cloud of bubbles, the detective gave a fierce nod. "Quack."
This was all becoming more than a little beyond her initial expectations. "Fascinating."
~~~Pocket System~~~
W'upak Sadox guffawed loudly! "You have fought BRAVELY young bird, but today's triumph will be MINE!"
The klingon carefully used his battle forged self control to delicately grasp the wooden block, fully confident in his ability to dominate his own reflexes! "No tower of J'enga can defy my will! Behold!"
He moved swiftly and with purpose as the tower failed to even wobble, a supporting block firmly grasped in his hand but freed from its gravimetric binding and sibling structures! "IT IS DONE! K'PLAH!'
"QUACK!?" "QUACK!" "QUACK!" "QUACK!" "QUACK!" "QUACK!"
The surrounding bird creatures were MIGHTILY impressed by his achievement, but his opponent was UNWILLING to give in despite the near impossible odds! "QUACK! Quack quack quack quack!"
W'upak grinned in eagerness and his body radiated confidence as the room fell into silence, waiting for his opponent to begin their turn… But he had to admit deep in his heart: He wished his foe to flinch on their feathered attempt.
For he was not confident that the next block acquired could be gained so easily!
~~~Pocket System~~~
Drone Eight of Ten was unsure of the ongoing situation. "I am unsure of this ongoing situation."
His comrade sighed as he casually slung an arm around his shoulders. "Eight, you gotta unwind! I know a lot of you drones are uptight when raised outside established collectives, but socializing is an important step to help you adapt to the wider society!"
Drone Eight of Ten was not convinced of the factual contents of comrade Jacob's statement. "I am not convinced of the factual contents of comrade Jacob's statement."
Comrade Jacob chuckled. "Trust me! My team's integrated DOZENS of drones fresh off the cube, and your efficiency and ability to communicate with planetary collectives will improve by at LEAST 12.335% if you follow my guidance! There is a real difference between growing up in the default childhood simulation and being raised by parents, and stuff like this can help bridge that gap."
Drone Eight of Ten was not pleased by the characterization of the default childhood simulation. "The default childhood simulation was very efficient and took care of all my needs and requirements, while also adapting me to…"
Comrade Jacob waved that off. "Hey now, I'm not trying to insult you or nothing! Just…" He sighed. "Look, I'm sure you noticed how it can be hard for you to interact with those of us from one of the unified planets, yes?"
Confirmed. "That is correct."
He nodded. "Well, you'd adapt and learn how to better integrate with society ANYWAYS, but this kind of activity can REALLY speed up the process! Now come one, Andy picked out a simulation for the whole team where we can teach you how to play."
Drone Eight of Ten was unsure of how this 'Basketball' would increase team productivity rating, but his supervisor had clearance and proper authority protocols. "I shall comply."
Comrade Jacob grinned! "Great! Let me just ping the group and slice into their simulation instance, I'm sure they've got a court ready for us by now anyway… Oh, and remember to disable your auxiliary manipulation units too before we play! Stephanie almost melted the ball once when she forgot to disable her welding modules."
The simulation shifted, and then they were both located within the Simulation of this 'Basketball Court' that Jacob had been detailing in the earlier debriefing.
Each of his comrades were gathered together, the team prepared to…
"Quack?"
Drone Eight of Ten was unsure of the ongoing situation. "I am unsure of this ongoing situation."
His fellow 'teammates' were also uncharacteristically silent, but that failed to clarify his confusion about the current status of the planned 'basketball group bonding game' that had been planned.
Drone Eight of Ten sought clarification. "For clarification: Basketball is intended to be a 'team bonding activity' wherein said sporting event involves competing in said activities against immature avian opponents?"
"Quack."
Drone Eight of Ten has received clarification. "I feel that our team, being composed of humanoids of prime maturity and in optimum physical condition, shall hold a significant advantage over your gathered collection of immature avian sporting activists."
Comrade Jacob raised his manipulator arm, pointing at the tiny team of creatures in sporting outfits. "Andy? What the hell is THIS!?"
Comrade Andy didn't even flinch. "Sir, I… I mean, the scenario claimed to be a basketball simulation… I just assumed calling the server 'Duck Dynasty' was some sort of in-joke or something…"
The apparent leader of the immature avian opponents raised his beak in a display of dominance towards Comrade Jacob. "Quack!"
Comrade Jacob blinked. "Did… Did I just get called out by a duck?"
"Quack."
Comrade Jacob slowly stood tall. "Fuck it, I'm not going to back down from that. Everyone, we are about to DESTROY these quackers!"
"""YEAH!""" "No, they are so cute!" "Stephanie, you have to treat basketball opponents seriously!" "BUT LOOK HOW CUTE THEY ARE!" "We aren't hurting them or anything, just… Don't dribble on any of them and it should be fine!"
Drone Eight of Ten was unsure of the ongoing situation. "I am unsure of this ongoing situation."
Comrade Jacob grabbed his arm. "Well be unsure about all this AFTER we kick some duck ass in a hardcore game of BASKETBALL! LET'S GO TEAM!"
Drone Eight of Ten was VERY unsure of the ongoing situation!
It didn't NEGATE being grounded for accidentally attempting to download Reality into his Pocket, but it HAD distracted his sister before she could establish what said grounding would actually entail.
Heck, if he played his cards right he might be able to distract her from this whole mess entirely and avoid ALL the potential consequences of his earlier slipup!
Which was good, because he needed that time to look into his Pocket settings and figure out what exactly happened here. He even decided to set aside the 'Planetary Transformer Server of Awesomeness' project entirely for now!
John was being SUPER focused and ULTRA mature about fixing this issue! It would be fixed, no problem and no doubt!
So uh… What had actually gone wrong here?
His current theory? Accidentally setting up his System to be TOO helpful.
When his [[Home]] was established, his Pocket allocated a low percentage of his Resources to automatically supply any needed materials to those visiting his residency… Which then grew to include all of Doe Park and the Underpark.
And if something was needed but not available, John had configured his Pocket to simply Craft what was needed from that tiny amount of allocated resources mentioned earlier.
So BEFORE coming here, his Pocket was already prepared to just Craft anything he desired, as long as it only required minimal investment and used materials already designated as consumable or recyclable.
Then John had gotten a new body.
One that could use raw power to convert base material elements into any known patterns, via the various teleportation modules or the experimental replicators that had been tossed into his mess of a system.
Then he had taken said new body, wired it up directly to a planet's worth of Borg efficient power generation with no limitations or security measures, and… Well…
Suddenly, that 'tiny fraction of available spare resources' didn't calculate out to be nearly that 'tiny' anymore. Not even remotely.
The 'available materials to work with' needle was actually pointing a bit closer to 'unlimited' than 'negligible amount', honestly. And he didn't actually have any alerts set up to WARN him when some portion of his System accidentally transcended limitations due to unexpected local mishaps.
Like, he did NOW, but not BEFORE!
He uh… He was still going to have to go back and look into the mess after he finished distracting his new tour group around the newly Crafted privately owned simulation scenarios.
There might be MANY side effects to just having his System auto-Craft a bunch of stuff without his notice, and it would probably be a great idea to review any actions it may have taken… A point mentioned several times by his sister during her opening rants when he explained the general situation and all that.
But hopefully showing off the (accidentally created) simulated wonders would both distract them from his earlier 'oopsie' AND be a fun little social activity! A bonding experience, maybe a chance to see what that 'not a kiss' thing was about!
Plus, as mentioned before: He never HAD fed ducks at a pond before.
It was about time to change that! Let's go throw food fragments at birds! WOO!
This should be fun!
~~~Pocket System~~~
John didn't pout as he sat in the back with his sister and the girls quietly.
After all, it would be rude to intrude on the ongoings… Even if, due to rules established in the Simulation, none of the ducks noticed nor interacted with the odd bystanders in the court.
They were aware of the tall non-ducks in the back, just… Didn't seem to care that much, as much larger issues (Figuratively) were at stake right now.
"Quack quacken quack QUACK!" A dramatic wing pointed at the shocked duckling at the witness stand!
The court began clucking and quacking and pecking at corn in the audience seating, all a flutter in astonishment!
BANG bang BANG! "Quack! Quack quack quack quack!" The wise Judge Duck of Duckerton smashed his gavel as he called for order!
Jessica was fascinated. "I never suspected the gardener did it."
Grace hummed. "Sometimes it is the most innocent quacks that disguise the most incriminating waddles of them all!"
John frowned. "I… I don't even REMEMBER watching Matlock, when did it get sampled to be added into the simulation's 'random special event' easter eggs?"
Temptation just hugged him closer. "Shh, I feel like a big dramatic twist is building up soon."
He sighed and scattered some more corn to the slightly less intellectual audience ducklings, who eagerly quacked and bustled about to enjoy the lovely snack. "I'll admit, I am pretty impressed that the Borg translation matrix software can even interpret a language that is over 90% composed of a single sound… But I was expecting more, you know…"
Jessica lightly smacked his shoulder. "Shh, the defense attorney is about to cross examine the witness!"
"Quack quack quack… Quack QUACK QUACK!" "Quack!?" Quack quack quack!" "QUACK!?"
Temptation grinned! "Ha, I KNEW there was a setup for a big dramatic reveal here!"
John sighed as the room went nuts with loud quacking and the Judge attempted to regain order. "I want to go visit the pond after this though, alright? Please?"
His sister absently nodded. "Of course, John. I don't know Grace, I'm not sure I believe the whole seed smuggling ring allegations at all anymore at this point. Do you think that was a coverup story, or a…"
Temptation giggled! "Shh, I don't want to miss this bit!"
Sigh… John slumped slightly.
At least he could enjoy the cuddling with his demoness until the trial wraps up.
~~~Pocket System~~~
John frowned. "Alright, the 'auto-generate simulation scenario' script must have been acting up when it designed this pond."
Grace was holding a bread crumb over her head the size of a small car as she shouted towards the ocean sized water source! "THE LORD HAS PROVIDED SUSTENANCE! THIS CRUMB HA BEEN BESTOWED UPON YE, THE DUCKLING OF LARGE SIZE! BLESSED BE THE DUCKS!"
A massive yellow webbed foot shifted nearby. "Q҉̨͈̝̩͛̒͐͡u҈̫̐͜͠ͅa҉̧̯̑͝c҉̧̪͇̇͠k̸̨̛̲͈͉͛̽̽."
Jessica was laughing like a mad woman as she helped Temptation struggle to carve off more massive snacks from the building sized bread loaf partially unwrapped nearby using their Borg weaponry, so at least THEY were having fun…
John pulled open the settings. "There shouldn't even BE an instance of 'Honey I shrunk the Kids' included in this scenario in the first place… Something is really messed up in my configuration scripts, it has to be!"
'Random special events' were supposed to be SPECIAL because they were RARE, not happening one after another!
But after they had been thrown into the Matlock thing they barely had an hour of relaxing at the pond before they got zapped by a horrified duck in a lab coat transporting a familiar shrink ray device and now…
Temptation chewed on a fragment of a fragment of a bit of crumb. "Man, is it supposed to taste this good? Hey Master, come taste this! This shit is like five star quality bread here, no joke!"
"LANGUAGE!"
John slumped. "In a second, I just… I need to know why we keep getting pulled into strange situations like this. I can probably fix it in a minute or two."
Jessica laughed as her welding laser was used to toast/harvest another massive crumb of bread. "Come on bro, climb up here and try this!"
It did look pretty awesome… But he really shouldn't… "Maybe in a bit."
She flexed her limb, her fingers altering into sharp claws that easily supported her weight as the nearby car sized crumb began to tumble down the loaf. "Real talk for a second here: Are we in danger right now?"
John blinked. "No?"
His sister nodded. "And will more crazy stuff happen to us SOON, or do we have time to enjoy this a bit?"
Uh. "No additional scenarios should happen as long as we REMAIN in one like this… Until we hike over that way to the shrink ray and climb up it to 'complete' the challenge, or until we officially give up, I mean."
After all, this wasn't one of the timed challenges or multiplayer games or whatever. The whole point of this movie adaptation was to enjoy the strange world of being tiny, after all.
His sister grinned! "Then climb up here and help me carve off more crumbs for Grace to feed the ducklings, alright? I promise we won't end the scenario or anything until you get a chance to figure out what is going on and all that, so there shouldn't be any rush. Right?"
John blinked as he considered things from that point of view… And uh… Yes, she had a point. "Alright, yeah… Yeah, as long as we don't set off another 'random event', it should be safe enough for us to relax here a bit."
She laughed! "Then climb on up and help me work through this ridge of crust up here! I want to see if we can hack off a stable enough chunk to eat the inside and turn it into a sled or something."
John began altering his artificial right arm to one of the bladed options. "Be right there!"
Grace giggled as she flew past him towards more crumbs. "My Lord, you two hurry up! Our duckish followers are hungry for the crumbs of salvation!"
He felt his face break out into a smile as he began clumbering his way up the bread mountain… this craziness might not technically COUNT as 'feeding the ducks by the pond' officially, but to be fair? It WAS becoming a very memorable bonding experience! "More crumbs on the way, Grace!"
~~~Pocket System~~~
The Vulcan blinked as she entered one of the new simulations that had suddenly been added to the Collective network and found herself towering over the bustling crowds in the miniature city. "Fascinating."
A small creature wearing a dashing gray hat, labeled as 'Detective Duckling', waddled up to her foot as her prosthetics took local scans. "Quack."
It was apparently smoking a pipe, which was producing bubbles. For some unknown reason.
T'mer knelt for easier communication. "I am sorry, but you are mistaken: I am not this 'Dr. Watson' you are searching for."
The 'duckling' then huffed, puffed some bubbles, and then pointed the pipe at her as he began to waddle to one side. "Quack."
Oh, she was to play the ROLE of said doctor, for there was a mystery afoot.
Well, she had decided to explore this simulation to find answers. It would be logical to continue her journey and find where said answers may lead. "Very well, Mr. Holmes."
The tiny animal hadn't even paused his stride, tiny tail wagging back and forth as he stalked some unknown suspect. "Quack?"
She carefully followed, not willing to injure or impact any of the passing ducks in their small costumes. "No, I am afraid I am unaware of the recent theft of an entire private library. Assume that I am fully uninformed of any local events or activities."
As he puffed his pipe, he glanced over one wing and gave her a look. "Quack."
Her eyes widened. "An entire book thieving ring? Astounding. And this next location is the scene of the most recent heist?"
With resolution and a small cloud of bubbles, the detective gave a fierce nod. "Quack."
This was all becoming more than a little beyond her initial expectations. "Fascinating."
~~~Pocket System~~~
W'upak Sadox guffawed loudly! "You have fought BRAVELY young bird, but today's triumph will be MINE!"
The klingon carefully used his battle forged self control to delicately grasp the wooden block, fully confident in his ability to dominate his own reflexes! "No tower of J'enga can defy my will! Behold!"
He moved swiftly and with purpose as the tower failed to even wobble, a supporting block firmly grasped in his hand but freed from its gravimetric binding and sibling structures! "IT IS DONE! K'PLAH!'
"QUACK!?" "QUACK!" "QUACK!" "QUACK!" "QUACK!" "QUACK!"
The surrounding bird creatures were MIGHTILY impressed by his achievement, but his opponent was UNWILLING to give in despite the near impossible odds! "QUACK! Quack quack quack quack!"
W'upak grinned in eagerness and his body radiated confidence as the room fell into silence, waiting for his opponent to begin their turn… But he had to admit deep in his heart: He wished his foe to flinch on their feathered attempt.
For he was not confident that the next block acquired could be gained so easily!
~~~Pocket System~~~
Drone Eight of Ten was unsure of the ongoing situation. "I am unsure of this ongoing situation."
His comrade sighed as he casually slung an arm around his shoulders. "Eight, you gotta unwind! I know a lot of you drones are uptight when raised outside established collectives, but socializing is an important step to help you adapt to the wider society!"
Drone Eight of Ten was not convinced of the factual contents of comrade Jacob's statement. "I am not convinced of the factual contents of comrade Jacob's statement."
Comrade Jacob chuckled. "Trust me! My team's integrated DOZENS of drones fresh off the cube, and your efficiency and ability to communicate with planetary collectives will improve by at LEAST 12.335% if you follow my guidance! There is a real difference between growing up in the default childhood simulation and being raised by parents, and stuff like this can help bridge that gap."
Drone Eight of Ten was not pleased by the characterization of the default childhood simulation. "The default childhood simulation was very efficient and took care of all my needs and requirements, while also adapting me to…"
Comrade Jacob waved that off. "Hey now, I'm not trying to insult you or nothing! Just…" He sighed. "Look, I'm sure you noticed how it can be hard for you to interact with those of us from one of the unified planets, yes?"
Confirmed. "That is correct."
He nodded. "Well, you'd adapt and learn how to better integrate with society ANYWAYS, but this kind of activity can REALLY speed up the process! Now come one, Andy picked out a simulation for the whole team where we can teach you how to play."
Drone Eight of Ten was unsure of how this 'Basketball' would increase team productivity rating, but his supervisor had clearance and proper authority protocols. "I shall comply."
Comrade Jacob grinned! "Great! Let me just ping the group and slice into their simulation instance, I'm sure they've got a court ready for us by now anyway… Oh, and remember to disable your auxiliary manipulation units too before we play! Stephanie almost melted the ball once when she forgot to disable her welding modules."
The simulation shifted, and then they were both located within the Simulation of this 'Basketball Court' that Jacob had been detailing in the earlier debriefing.
Each of his comrades were gathered together, the team prepared to…
"Quack?"
Drone Eight of Ten was unsure of the ongoing situation. "I am unsure of this ongoing situation."
His fellow 'teammates' were also uncharacteristically silent, but that failed to clarify his confusion about the current status of the planned 'basketball group bonding game' that had been planned.
Drone Eight of Ten sought clarification. "For clarification: Basketball is intended to be a 'team bonding activity' wherein said sporting event involves competing in said activities against immature avian opponents?"
"Quack."
Drone Eight of Ten has received clarification. "I feel that our team, being composed of humanoids of prime maturity and in optimum physical condition, shall hold a significant advantage over your gathered collection of immature avian sporting activists."
Comrade Jacob raised his manipulator arm, pointing at the tiny team of creatures in sporting outfits. "Andy? What the hell is THIS!?"
Comrade Andy didn't even flinch. "Sir, I… I mean, the scenario claimed to be a basketball simulation… I just assumed calling the server 'Duck Dynasty' was some sort of in-joke or something…"
The apparent leader of the immature avian opponents raised his beak in a display of dominance towards Comrade Jacob. "Quack!"
Comrade Jacob blinked. "Did… Did I just get called out by a duck?"
"Quack."
Comrade Jacob slowly stood tall. "Fuck it, I'm not going to back down from that. Everyone, we are about to DESTROY these quackers!"
"""YEAH!""" "No, they are so cute!" "Stephanie, you have to treat basketball opponents seriously!" "BUT LOOK HOW CUTE THEY ARE!" "We aren't hurting them or anything, just… Don't dribble on any of them and it should be fine!"
Drone Eight of Ten was unsure of the ongoing situation. "I am unsure of this ongoing situation."
Comrade Jacob grabbed his arm. "Well be unsure about all this AFTER we kick some duck ass in a hardcore game of BASKETBALL! LET'S GO TEAM!"
Drone Eight of Ten was VERY unsure of the ongoing situation!
Johns duck subjects are spreading through the simulations! We are on our way to the duck singularity! Loved the ace attorney reference btw