At first, John was going to wait for Steve to fully recover before heading on the way back to base. Because it gave him more time to Scan things and the walk back would let them both see some neat things!
But considering how long it was taking Steve to stabilize and the odd pressure John could feel trying to pierce its way into the Overworld from the former location of their exit portal, it was probably for the best that he and Bessie had decided to get a moving.
So after a bit of critical thinking and a small amount of strapping-Steve-to-a-cow, John was on his way!
After Collecting all the blocks in the area till they were deep underground.
And filling the gap over their heads with layers and layers of smooth stone.
THEN he and his Bessie riding friend were ready to go!
Same protocol as in the Nether, really.
Walk a few hundred blocks, S̯͕̜͍̣͈̟͢c̴̬̪a͏̟̟̞̺̹͔n a tunnel to collapse whatever was in the path, then craft a tunnel with torches and keep on walking!
Though out of consideration for Bessie, the ground was made out of grass blocks instead of the standard cobblestone. Since this wasn't hell and the grass wouldn't explode into fire or worse here.
If John kept filling the tunnel they traversed with solid blocks along the way, or if he was preemptively Scanning and Collecting any and all odd energies that may or may not be attempting to track him and his mostly-not-mutated friend?
Well, that was just taking precautions. Being prepared, and all that.
Was it a bit boring to carve a repetitive and utilitarian tunnel far below the surface as fast and secretively as possible?
Yeah, a bit. Especially since he was actively excavating any caves or ravines they stumbled upon and stuffing them with boring stone to prevent the passage tube from being discovered.
Which meant no fun glass walls to treat the underground features as a zoo or park, no side trips to explore lost subterranean structures, just… Walking.
As for the company available…
"Zzz…"
"Mrrr."
Well, the conversation quality was severely lacking to say the least.
STILL! John was on his way to pestering Steve to wake up and ensuring he not be crazy and begging him to please trade for lots of stuff before whatever was in hell finishes hunting them both down!
That? That right there was PROGRESS!
Woo!
"Mrrr."
Time passed.
More tunnel, more smooth stone, more grass.
Woo. Progress.
Boring progress, perhaps… But progress.
Hearing Steve groan from Bessie's back was a blessing. "Hey Steve! You doing better now?" No odd mysts, no strange sounds or smells or anything. "Are you still hearing whispers? A desire to tear space apart and warp reality? Any urges to cuddle more blocks?"
Yeah, the first few times he had hunted the guy down the half-Enderman had been clutching a random block (Somehow picked up without popping it) like a teddy bear.
…It had been pretty cute, honestly, seeing a (very) big (FAR too) strong man like Steve cradling a block of gravel like it was a pet doggy.
Right up until he started screaming in eldritch voices and frantically teleporting away at least. The otherworldly effects really sapped all the cuteness out of a scene when you got down to it, but at least he had started running away instead of attempting to beat John to death with whatever new cuddle block he had confiscated.
"Wha?"
Not that this was a problem NOW, right? "I was asking if you feel less insane with impossible powers, maybe more stable and perhaps even bound by logic and gravity and stuff. Perhaps even willing to talk a bit about how you were doing all that teleporting earlier."
Seriously, that form of teleportation was ODD. It wasn't just 'vanish and appear' like one would expect, it seemed to be more 'the world nearly pauses, Steve's mutated body FLIES directly in a direction, directly through any obstacles, and then he returns to reality'.
Like, SUPER cool but not exactly easy to duplicate.
Steve stared at John as Bessie continued eating his shoulder. "John?"
Oh. That didn't seem right. "Yes, I'm John." Memory issues? Simple blocked events or something worse, like thoughts harvested or cauterized or whatever? "And you are Steve. Right? Remember being Steve?"
The man stared from his tied down seat on the cow. "I thought you were stew."
What? "No? From what I can tell, I am mostly grass seeds, various maturation levels of wild wheat, and some tall grass. Plus my feet are partially made out of grass blocks and dirt, which makes since considering where my body was crafted when I got here."
Steve stared blankly at John. "Things… Things made more sense when you were stew." He slumped back down. "But now… I am on a cow?"
Basic pattern recognition: Check! "Yes. Her name is Bessie, I introduced her earlier when you were much more mentally unstable." Oh wait! "You do remember Bessie the cow, right?" Potential memory loss or suppression may be confirmed.
Steve blinked.
John pointed down at the man's ride. "That's Bessie. The cow you are tied to, she's Bessie. Say 'hi' Bessie."
"Mrrr."
Steve slowly looked at Bessie. "...Hello?"
"Mrrr."
Man, brains did not recover quickly! Thank goodness John kept throwing out his body and making new ones, if he had to go through this slow and painfully frustrating 'recovery' process like Jessica and Steve did he'd go mad. "Anyway, are you hearing any odd noises or seeing anything odd?"
Steve attempted to shrug but he was tied down GOOD this time. "I… I mean, all of this feels 'odd'." He looked to the side. "Am I in an endless tunnel with a hallucination while riding a cow?"
Uh. "Maybe? I can't easily determine if you are seeing any hallucinations without doing some stuff my sister has EXPLICITLY told me I can't do to living people without a whole BUNCH of checks and confirmations first… Can you give me a rough description of what things you are hallucinating?"
The cow rider nodded. "I'm talking to one right now."
John blinked. Huh! "Oh REALLY? That seems so FASCINATING! What's it saying? And is it wearing a hat?" He had always assumed hallucinations wore hats.
Steve just stared at him. Which honestly was a bit rude, but the guy WAS recovering from some pretty severe and recent trauma, so John would let that slide.
Bessie took another bite out of John's shoulder.
With a sigh, Steve slid down what little space he could and attempted to better rest on his bovine mount. "I… I'm going to try and sleep or pass out until the world makes sense again."
Huh? But what about the… Oh fine. "Sure, I guess you are still recovering and stuff. I'll keep us heading back to your base, you can rest till we get there."
The cow rider and boy started meandering down the only path not being filled up with more and more stone in silence.
"Mrrr."
Well, mostly silence.
~~~Pocket System~~~
Hours later, Steve had to give up.
As far as he could tell, the insanity of the last few days was reality.
The logical and reasonable explanation was the lie.
And he was STILL strapped to a cow, deep underground (But NOT in the Nether, the air wasn't angry here), being led by a plant boy.
Which meant that some of the OTHER horrific memories/experiences were probably real too, and that meant all sorts of bad things.
Bad things he would deal with later. "So where did you find Bessie?"
The kid shrugged. "She started eating me like the pigs did. I considered Collecting her or pushing her away or something… But since you were busy going mad with infectious energies from beyond the End of time? Well, her company was nice. I'm going to introduce her to the pig swarm that survived the culling back at base."
Alright, whatever. "Can I be untied from the cow?"
John hummed. "Maybe. Do you feel any urge to scream horrendously loud while chasing me for looking at you? Are you hearing the whispers of the End times? Smell or see any odd colors or smells?"
Mostly no. And whatever the strange purple glow thing at the edge of his vision seemed very weak now.
Plus, as nice as Bessie was, he wanted off the cow. "Nope, 100% fine now." Mostly true. "Now, please let me get off the cow."
John shrugged, causing the dozens of cords to vanish from existence. "Alright, but if you start vanishing or trying to kill me with a wood block I'm going to tie you right back up! I'm serious this time, it was funny at first when you exploded my body but after a while it just gets tedious."
Steve attempted to stay calm.
THIS is reality. The madness was real.
Not the lovely 'should be careful eating shrooms' theory.
This mess.
Just… Just lovely.
"Mrrr."
Oh, right. "Thank you for the ride, Bessie." No reason not to be polite after all.
"Mrrr."
With limbs free and body sore, Steve fell off the side of the cow and instantly collapsed.
Apparently his legs had fallen asleep.
"Ow."
John leaned over him. "See, this is why I had you tied to a cow. Your body might be enhanced and you may have gained impossible abilities, but you walk like a drunk and your entire system is exhausted even after you were able to sleep without screaming and bleeding and stuff."
His everything hurt.
"Mrrr?"
Bessie really was a sweet heart. "No, I'll be fine in a bit. Besides, I think I've been riding far too long already."
"Mrrr."
John blinked. "Wait, did connecting to forces outside of time allow you to speak cow!?"
Steve struggled (And failed) to get up. "Don't know, don't care." Crap, why was this so hard? "Give me a hand, John."
The kid grinned. "Sure! How many do you want?" A pause. "Oh, wait, you want me to help you stand up. Right, no I can do that! No problem, here…"
And the brat easily lifted Steve without effort, which felt a bit embarrassing to be handled like this but at least he was standing now. "Thanks."
John nodded. "No problem! And when you DO want a few extra limbs ask me first, alright? I have no experience doing stuff like that and I am not a medical professional!"
The boy saw his hesitance. "Don't worry, it shouldn't be that hard. I can just keep squishing stuff together until something eventually works."
Fuck that. "I'll keep that in mind, John."
A far too happy and innocent smile lit the kid's face. "Sweet! Now, let's keep walking back to the base so you can trade stuff before something hunts us down. After all, we need you to trade a lot of things before you evacuate this Instance and I fully destabilize this entire place."
Wait, what? "Why would you do that?"
…Also, it was a bit disturbing that Steve hadn't even HESITATED to assume that John was capable of something like that.
John winced as he looked behind them at the solid stone wall at something far off. "I'm blowing this place up for the same reason why you encased our exit from hell with everything you had currently possessed."
Steve blinked as they both walked down the tunnel. "I'm sorry, what? Why?"
John shivered. "Because you were S̯̙̳͉͓͝e̬̰͢͜͝ͅe̹̫̳̕͟ń̤͙̰̤̺̻̦̀."
…Oh.
Well then. That… That changed things. "Is it coming through?"
The boy looked back. "Not yet. Not for a bit. We should have time."
Mushroom stew hallucinations or not, Steve was NOT going to risk this. "Then let's get a move on, shall we? I'll trade a whole bunch of stuff, have the goods delivered to my Server home instead of here, and then we can both leave and never talk about this again."
John grinned! "THAT sounds like we got a plan! I LOVE it when we have plans, let's do it!"
They both hesitated as something v̺̫̺͈̮ͅi̪̞͔̘͉͔͙b̢̺̰̙̣͚ͅr̳̱͢a͏̗͉̠͎̜̞ṱ̸̜e̩̤̩̹̝͞d̬̝̼ͅ unseen.
Steve didn't look back. "I leave, you blow this place up?"
John nodded. "After your trades I'm gonna Collect everything in the area to destroy any traces of you or me, then forcibly condense it all into one unstable Essence block and flee."
By the grace of Notch, please let that be enough. "Then yes, we have a plan."
…Please go better than the other plans so far.
