Content Warnings: Prostitution (mentioned)
We begin with Eddard arriving in King's Landing and at the Red Keep, fucking miserable. He's sore, tired, hungry and angry, all he wants is a bath, food and a warm bed - and the first thing that happens is that the castle's steward arrives to tell him a meeting of the Small Council (read: Ministers) has been convened. Ned agrees to go, though he wishes he didn't feel he had to (and it's notable - this is more than a bit of an asshole thing for Grand Maester Pycelle to do; immediately making a meeting that Ned has to either attend immediately, or ignore and set that as the opening point of his career as Hand), and turns up at the council chambers wearing a set of borrowed clothes, as his own are still making their way through the city.
The chambers are richly-appointed, but the first person who greets Ned is Lord Varys, whose "hand left powder stains on Ned's sleeve, and he smelled as foul and sweet as flowers on a grave." Varys gives condolences for Prince Joffrey's injuries and difficulties on the road, which Ned returns coolly. Disentangling himself, he crosses to where Renly Baratheon (who Ned notes as looking remarkably like Robert, when Robert was younger) is talking to Littlefinger. The three exchange greetings, along with a few quips about Renly and Petyr's manner of dress, and Petyr dropping a hint about the 'token of esteem' Ned's brother Brandon left with him - and needles Ned a little about Catelyn having mentioned him to Ned. Finally, Ned greets the Grand Maester; an elderly, grandfatherly-looking man with heavy metal chains of all different metals and adorned with gems around his neck.
Ned takes his seat at the table, and apologises for keeping the rest waiting. The others take their seats, and Ned experiences a sense of dislocation, of feeling like he shouldn't be here. He comments that only five of them are present at the council, whereupon Varys clarifies that Stannis Baratheon, the Master of Ships, has returned back to his seat on Dragonstone, Ser Barristan, Lord Commander of the Kingsguard, will be too busy accompanying the king - and the king himself only very rarely attends the meetings of the Small Council, though he does sometimes send commands, like the scroll Renly produces.
Ned cracks the seal, reads it, and sits back in disbelief - both at the order to prepare a tournament in celebration of Ned's appointment as Hand with truly extravagant monetary prizes, and that the thing will be in his own name. This is also the point where Ned learns that the crown's treasury is empty, and the royalty is ruinously indebted to various interests, including notably the Lannisters, the Tyrells, the Iron Bank of Braavos, several Tyroshi trading cartels, and most recently the Faith of the Seven itself. Ned is aghast; he remembers Aerys leaving an overflowing treasury; where has it all gone? Littlefinger abrogates his own responsibility, saying the job of the Master of Coin is to find money, while the Hand and King spend it. Ned protests that Jon was a prudent man; how could he have let the crown fall into such debt. The various ministers say that Robert wasn't always the kind of listen to good advice, and is very fond of hunting, feasting, tournaments and so on.
It's worth pointing out here that later on it becomes clear that Littlefinger has been embezzling massive sums from the treasury over the last years, shielded by the fact that Jon Arryn was an old noble who just wasn't really interested in commerce or the details of bookkeeping, while Robert hated 'counting coppers' or anything that smelled like it. So Petyr is definitely wanting to divert as much attention from his own role as he can.
Ned says he'll try to talk Robert out of the tournament, being an expense the realm can hardly afford. Renly says that be that as it may, they should probably still make plans for the thing to go ahead. Ned dismisses them, saying they should talk about that another day - and promptly realizes that was too blunt when he's not the most powerful of any lords present. He begs tiredness, and that they can meet again when he's fresher.
Leaving the council chambers, Ned goes out to glance over the ingress of Stark wagons and household into the keep; the Starks have been riding ahead of the main procession since the incidents on the Trident. Both Sansa and Arya have been understandably miserable, and blaming one another for the deaths of Lady and Mycah. Having satisfied himself, Ned goes to make for the Tower of the Hand, only to be stopped by Littlefinger who says he's going the wrong way and leads him out into what seems to be an abandoned area of the castle. Ned asks why they're there, and Littlefinger says he's taking Ned to his wife. Ned is, understandably, confused by this as he thinks Catelyn is still in Winterfell. Petyr leads him on, sarcastically sniping all the way (and making jokes about 'keeping Catelyn for himself' or that 'Catelyn would never understand' if Ned fell to his death as they make their way down a small cliff). Two horses are waiting, they mount, and ride down to a ramshackle building, which Ned realizes is a brothel - and Petyr says his wife is inside.
This is finally too much for Ned, who slams Petyr back against a wall and puts a dagger up beneath his chin. He's interrupted when Rodrik Cassel hurries over towards them - leaving Ned rather bewildered. He starts to accept that something might actually be going on here of use, and Petyr leads them inside; not before another barb about Ned "trying to look a shade more lecherous and a shade less like the King's Hand".
Ned is led up to a third-floor room, where he and Catelyn reunite, he shocked but happy, her clearly needing comfort and rushing into his arms. Ned quickly notices the wounds on Catelyn's hands, now healed to "raw red scars", and asks how she got them - and she tells the story of the assassin sent to kill Bran. Ned's understandably dazed, both by the story, and realisation that there might actually be some mystical connection between his children and these wolves - and he's killed Sansa's. "If the gods had sent these wolves, what folly had he done?" You can feel a touch of Eddard's faith here, worrying that he's stumbled into offending the Old Gods, or upsetting some plan.
Returning to the dagger, Ned says that it belonging to Tyrion and him being behind the assassination plot makes no sense - why would Tyrion want to hurt Bran? Littlefinger breaks in (to shore up his own lie), saying that Tyrion wouldn't have acted alone. Ned ponders the queen having a hand in this, or the king - and though he doesn't want to think that of Robert, he can't help but remember Robert wanting to send assassins after Daenerys, or the death of Rhaegar's children and Robert's reaction to that. Petyr points out that Robert need not have been involved, only not known - and Robert isn't exactly the most attentive king.
Petyr also points out that either way, accusing king or queen is treason - though it
might work if they have damn good proof, and the dagger certainly won't suffice for that, as Tyrion could simply claim it was lost or stolen while at Winterfell. Again, Petyr is covering his ass here - if the dagger is kept out of the conversation as much as possible, the lower the chance is they'll actually ask someone who can contradict his story. He even suggests throwing it into the river.
Ned doesn't like the idea. He's cold to Petyr, saying that his son is crippled and would be dead if things had happened just slightly different. "If you truly believe I could forget that, you are as big a fool now as when you took up sword against my brother."
Petyr points out that Brandon is dead, while he's still around, and that he has no intention of changing that state of affairs. He makes it clear that he doesn't much like the Starks, but that he's never been able to refuse Catelyn anything, and she's attached to Ned, so...
Catelyn breaks in to say that she's told Petyr their suspicions over Jon Arryn's death, and that Petyr has promised to help - which Ned isn't exactly happy about, but he decides that it's not the first time he's had to make common cause with someone he doesn't like. He brings up Varys, and what the eunuch might know. Catelyn says Varys doesn't know about their suspicions re: Jon Arryn, but that he seems to know everything. Petyr promises to manage Varys, but says they should worry more about the Lannisters than the eunuch.
Ned thinks back to all the tragedies he can remember connected with the Lannisters - the death of Lady, the death of Mycah, Jon Arryn, Bran's fall, the old king being murdered - and says that Catelyn should go back to Winterfell; she can't see the girls right now, as much as she wants to, because it would surely be noticed. He promises to keep Arya and Sansa safe, and they kiss.
Littlefinger needles them again ("Would the lord and lady like the use of a bedchamber? I should warn you, Stark, we usually charge for that sort of thing around here."), and Catelyn asks for a moment alone. Petyr warns that he and Ned will need to get back to the castle soon if they want to keep their disappearance quiet, but Catelyn thanks him for her help, and he says he is "desperately sentimental", before leaving them alone.
Ned tells Catelyn to tell the Tallharts and Glovers to raise a hundred bowmen each to fortify Moat Cailin, a more-or-less abandoned castle which controls the Neck, and forms a powerful defensive chokepoint for the North. The defenses at White Harbour under the Manderlys should also be strengthened and manned, and Theon Greyjoy should be watched carefully - if there is a war, the Greyjoy fleets will be needed. He says he hopes it won't come to war - the Lannisters may prey on weakness, but a strong North could hold against all but the whole realm against them.
I must play out this fool's masquerade as if nothing is amiss. Remember why I came here, my love. If I find proof that the Lannisters murdered Jon Arryn …"
He felt Catelyn tremble in his arms. Her scarred hands clung to him. "If," she said, "what then, my love?"
That was the most dangerous part, Ned knew. "All justice flows from the king," he told her. "When I know the truth, I must go to Robert." And pray that he is the man I think he is, he finished silently, and not the man I fear he has become.
You'd really think Ned would start to learn by this point. He's had some pretty object lessons in the man Robert has become.
As an aside, I really can't overstate just how much Petyr constantly needles Ned, how much he clearly hates him, how much he talks about sex, and how much he jokes about taking Catelyn away, his connections to Catelyn etc etc. He's not quite as overtly sinister as in the show, I think, but he's not super subtle.
Next chapter is
Tyrion III, wherein Tyrion visits the top of the Wall, gets some ominous hints of what's coming (which he promptly forgets) and says goodbye to Jon.
