You steel yourself after a moment. No, the Burners can wait. If you are Caras' eyes, ears, and fangs, you need to know what your tools are. Virmire is nattering on about... not irrelevancies, but they aren't what you need to know first.
So you interrupt. "Virmire, as fascinating as this all is, that which is most critical to my duties is knowing what I shall use to accomplish them. In a word, what are my tools?"
Virmire takes this with surprising equanimity. "You would know better than I, my lady. Very well. You are already familiar with the Workers, of course-" Virmire's head twitches toward a half dozen of the cute little creatures that have been so helpful, this particular batch in the middle of beheading a particularly large rodent. Ew. "-but you may not realize they are much stronger than they appear. They handle countless minor and major duties throughout the castle, and if you are ever to handle the construction of a fort or similar you will need to bring them to bear. Unfortunately, it is not viable for Sire to proof them against the sun, so they will likely be primarily at the periphery of your duties, but do not forget them."
Workers. They work. Okay. That's easy.
"You should also already be familiar with the Guardians. Well. Seen them, anyway." Not really. Does Virmire really not realize how blind you were before the integration? "Also not practical to proof against the sun, and normally kept dormant, they are the castle's last line of defense. In the event that the castle is attacked while sire is away, you will need to buy time to awaken them -the actual awakening will likely be handled by me- but once that time is bought they are quite effective in open battle. Slow, though, so don't get it in your head you'll be able to chase fleeing foes with them."
The creatures in the insets, on the way to the basement?
"Speaking, of: Runners." Oh, you know that one. "Sire usually dispatches them to villages, such as how one has been sent to retrieve a priest, and occasionally to carry letters to other nobles, but they also carry a paralytic venom. It's really intended for self-defense, but I would think the myriad other uses obvious. They're proofed against the sun, somewhat, though don't be sending them out at high noon." He pauses, as if a thought just occurred to him. "Please don't, really. They'll do as they are told without a second thought, no matter how stupid or self-destructive it might be. This is true of most breeds, especially as sire is personally not fond of conversation." He sighs. "He only bothers with me because he finds the tedium of overseeing the duties I handle worse than listening to me." Then you get the distinct impression he's giving you the stinkeye, but he moves on without further commentary, making you doubt this bizarre impression.
"The Gatekeeper you've also seen. I don't know why sire insists on that name, really. They can sniff out Burner worms, so yes we have one standing watch at the gate, but they also are used to check for infestations in the villages periodically." Oh, the driver. Yes, you have -in glimpses and snatches over the years- seen his kind skulking about the village. You'd always wondered what that was about. Though. Burner worms? That sounds rather more worrying than when Caras was just angry about Burners trying to cross the border. "They're a bit more clever than most of the breeds, but they're still loyal to a fault and fairly straightforward. They can handle working out how to cross a damaged bridge without oversight, for example, but their solution is liable to be 'run fast and jump far' instead of noticing that the gap could be bridged with a nearby plank of wood. They're also not practical to proof against the sun. Sire did it, once upon a time, but it meant they couldn't find Burner worms at all. We had to render an entire village because of this mistake."
Oh. Oh dear. Would that be Estvallee? It went quiet when you were but a little girl, and you never got a proper explanation of why.
Burners sound awful.
"The Hauler you've also seen. It's ill-used, really, but we have a core for it, so it's an option. It holds up well in direct sunlight, and- hm. Perhaps sire was mistaken in rendering that Hauler. Don't humans sometimes, eeeh, ride is the term yes?" You've no idea what he's driving at. Virmire seems disappointed. "Those... four-legged things. The ones that eat grass."
Puzzled, you say, as if a question, "Sheep?"
It feels like Virmire scowls. "No no, not the taxed one, the, ah, the fast one."
"Horses?"
"Yes! That's the name. Or. I guess we could requisition a horse." Virmiiiire be clearer. "A mount! That's the word. So you don't hold back a force with your slow pace."
Rude.
... but yeah, the 'Hauler' was like a horse, and horses are faster than you. So maybe you should pester Caras into making one!
"Hm. I'm sorry, my lady, sire just hasn't used Haulers much in my time here. I think you'll have to ask him if you want more information."
Virmire feels like he draws himself up, puffed up with pride or some such. He's still basically immobile. Fascinating. But weird.
"But that brings me to the three -at this time, hopefully the Viscount of Dire Hollows will keep his end of the bargain- breeds of most immediate relevancy to your own duties, my lady." Oooooh let's hear it come on. "First is the Boulder. I... confess that I suspect this is one case where sire has a sense of humor, because I cannot explain the name otherwise. Unfortunately, sire has all our current Boulders in the field with him, but I will point one out to you once he is returned. Boulders will, after the marriage I suppose, be first and foremost your soldiers, before sire even." Really? Oh, hopefully they're cute. "Unlike all our other breeds, they are well-suited to long-distance travel, as they simply curl into a ball and allow their unusual shells to block the light out entirely, and in combat they are quite difficult to harm and their own proboscis-" Their what? "-is a solid weapon. They also are a good tool in Burner combat, as they can roll at the enemy as a form of attack, safe from the depredations of fire." He pauses for a moment. "Don't let them stop on your feet. They weigh considerably more than they appear to. I lost a leg by underestimating them." He gestures with a stick-thin arm (?) at one of two legs on his left. You note he has two legs on his right. Er.
But okay, Boulders. Your soldiers. Yours. Got it.
"Next is the Crawler. They... well, I guess you could say they resemble sire, himself, but smaller. And with bigger legs. They can climb sheer surfaces and are sire's preferred breed for taking prisoners, as their legs are actually quite useful for catching and holding humans. And other animals, I suppose. They are... well, not very tough, when it gets down to it, but they can abandon segments and keep functioning with minimal harm, so they take quite some time to actually stop. Their jaws are not very strong, either -sire is still fiddling with that, but in my opinion he's just made things worse- but they have a decent supply of venom. Don't let them bite prisoners. It's lethal, and messy. Unfortunately, sire has been unsuccessful in sunproofing them so far. I don't understand why, really, you'd have to ask sire yourself. But they will still be quite relevant to you, I think."
All right, Crawlers. They capture people, don't let them bite prisoners, and they're very mobile. Easy.
"Last is the Diver. I don't think they have crossed sire's mind as yet, unfortunately, as they've historically been of limited use, so currently we have none and he hasn't started a new batch, but they are a moderately large, many-legged creature that is fully aquatic. Like the Boulders, they will answer to you first and foremost, for much the same reason: a Diver can range far afield over many days, in its case by diving underwater and burying itself in mud. Assuming you have water to use, of course. Oh! Actually, if I recall correctly... yes, I think sire has left a dozen as pickets in the northern sea. How many years has it been since the last raid?..."
You've no idea what Virmire is alluding to.
"And that concludes-"
What? No, that's absurd. "What of yourself, Virmire?"
"Ah." He seems bothered by this somehow. "I am Virmire, of course, sire's aid in all things at home and afar when he can't be there himself." He seems to... scrutinize you. "Less so afar, now."
He abruptly starts walking. "Ah, but we have eaten so much time on this, and sire is soon to be here! And?... yes, he has a prisoner. Yes, this demands our attention."
B-but your dress! And your hunger!
Ugh. Fiiine.
You follow Virmire through the halls.
-------------------------------
Quietly, Virmire mutters to you. "You see the Crawlers, my lady?"
Yes, easily. They're... like centipedes to Caras' millipede. They're only about as tall as a tabletop, but they're much longer, and... you see, as they enter the courtyard (Or whatever this space just inside from the gate is called) some of them... separating, a wounded segment simply detaching, and then the healthy parts in front and behind scuttling sideways, pushing together, and apparently connecting. Workers rush in and begin dragging the abandoned segments away. One Crawler is moving awkwardly, its forward third raised up so that its legs can fasten as a cage around a struggling human, a man in blue/grey armor with heraldry of a lion on the half-plate. He isn't speaking, though his grunts sound to you like someone who has yelled themselves raw. The driver -er, Gatekeeper- takes a moment to step forward and run its antennae against the man's chest, which provokes an inarticulate cry of fury and disgust, and
clean
then the Gatekeeper backs away and you abruptly realize there was rather a large gap around that particular Crawler, a space even the Workers avoided. Was a large gap, as now Workers pour in and start chewing at the leather straps of the man's armor and carting away pieces as they fall -at one point the halfbreast falls off and slams atop a Worker with a crunch, but after a moment the halfbreast rises and with a drunken stagger weaves away anyway- with no concern at all.
"And there's the Boulders, now."
Hunched-over beetles with a spike sticking out from their face like a bizarre, long and pointed beard, walking -and occasionally rolling briefly, seemingly for extra speed- slowly behind the Crawlers. Notably, the outer shell of the Boulders is a dull grey, rather than the usual lightless black. Then Caras himself arrives, and with your new senses he is vast indeed.
"Come along then, inside inside. Faster, back there! Ah-" Caras' face swings toward you and Virmire. "-good! I had been led to believe Sabrina would be dormant for longer than this, and I am glad the Marquis was wrong." He pauses. "Again." Then he ripples, what is that about? "I have had a success of my own, as it happens! For once, a clean Shellman captured! Virmire, have you cleaned your tools recently?"
"Of course, sire."
"Excellent. We don't need this one figuring out some creative way to commit suicide before you're ready due to laxness. Or dying of infection. Due to laxness." You have the impression Virmire is vaguely insulted, while the 'Shellman' makes a despairing moan.
Well then.
[]Hooray! Caras baby you're here! And you look and sound wonderful. How can I help and lemme hug you come on then hugs.
[]Seriously, when is that priest getting here? Is he behind you, Caras?
[]Um. What, exactly, are you planning on doing with the Shellman? Caras? Virmire?
[]Can you watch? You want to be kept in the loop, here.
[]Can we eat, first? You're hungry, and this is a lot to take in and you could really use some quiet time instead of more stuff happening you don't fully understand. Surely this other stuff can wait.
[]You'd like to talk to the Shellman, yourself. Caras and Virmire have proven... a bit clueless, when it comes to humans.
[]Pester Caras about Divers. Can he make some? Please? They sound neat, and you want to be as useful as you can be.
[]Can Caras explain this 'Burners' thing, please? 'Burner worms', in particular? This is getting very unsettling.
[]You'd like to practice with the Boulders and Crawlers, if that's not a problem, please. A wargame would be ideal, but even just practicing getting them to listen, and seeing their limits yourself, would be good enough.
(Pick two. Plan voting, and please don't pick "can you watch" and "you'd like to talk to the Shellman" as they're not compatible)
