And in the next one, we will see the Commander restricted to the color purple!
That's me. My true limit is that I can only make units that purple in them.
But enough of that, have a chapter:
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Chapter 5
Six days until my hyperspace fabber made it to Earth. I was bored.
I had a guest. A tel'tak, to be precise. A small hyperspace-capable ship of Goa'uld construction, unarmed, but can be equipped with cloaking devices.
So when one arrived in my system, it almost immediately met a solid wave of lasers, plasma-coated railgun projectiles, particle beams, and ion packets.
Almost, because I realized that SG-1 or the Tok'ra had a legitimate excuse for coming here: blowing up the prototype mothership here. Except I already did that.
SInce I had covered 30 worlds with metal, there was little in the way of stealth I could do for that. Heck, covered with metal is understating it. I had added about 30 kilometers to the radius of each planet, using lots and lots of towers. I had also dug a few kilometers into the ground on each one. Or rather, I had an economy 36 kilometers deep. No way I would be able to hide that.
So the tel'tak got the "nanites eat your stuff" treatment. The Research Cores could tell me where the power conduits were. And that they were pretty much pure naquadah. So with the tel'tak disabled, I took a look at who was in the cockpit. A jaffa. Not Teal'c. Not an SG team.
Well then, time for a solid sheet of death for these guys. The many weapons on nearby units, already aiming at the poor ship, let loose.
The tel'tak didn't explode so much as it violently stopped existing. A bubble of plasma formed from the energy of the naquadah reactor inside exploding and the sheer amount of death I sent towards it. However, with the amount of momentum I sent into the ship, the bubble only expanded away from my guns, the edge staying where the ship had been.
There's something intrinsically hilarious about an instant curbstomp. Whether in ground, naval, air, or space combat, when one side pretends to have anywhere near the power of the other is somehow amusing at that level.
I laughed a bit. An explosion that lopsided was the most interesting thing I had happen in a while, a while that was longer than my tenure as commander.
I saved the data into a folder labeled "EXPLOSIONS?!" which is how I always interpreted Mr. Torgue saying that word. Kinda a questioning undertone to it, I always thought.
And then I realized what I just did. I killed a bunch of people. In cold blood. Sure, I should have had this reaction after my massacre of the mothership construction site, but somehow it just didn't sink in. I had just killed three people. Somehow, it meant more than the hundred or so I killed
Alright, they're dead, don't wallow about it, move on. Make some capture bots. Hmm… Do I have the zat designs? Why yes, I do. Time to modularize them and integrate them into some of my mini-bots. And in the meantime, I'll get working on drafting up some hands. I can do that without Research Cores, at least.
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Ten hours later, and I had my capture mini-bots down. M-bots and C-bots, actually, is what I'm gonna call them. M-bots meaning mini-bots, and C-bots meaning capture-bots.
First, the combat type, called the C-Dox. It used the same frame as my M-Dox I designed earlier.
I changed the weapon around a bit. First, I cut down the size of the plasma cannons. They were complete overkill on this level on combat. Maybe I would need them, in which case I break out the old M-Dox. Huh, I've only used the design once and it's already old? Heh. Still weapons!
On the right arm, I had two smaller plasma cannons and one zat. I'd adjusted the power levels because my AI tends to default towards "There is no overkill, I do not need to reload, so open fire." and I didn't want to kill anyone who got hit with the second shot. Or the third, or the fourth, or the two-hundred and fifteenth.
On the left arm, I had on small plasma cannon and and a zat grenade launcher. I'd taken the system the Uber cannon (actually, it's full designation is Over-Excited Particle Plasma Launcher Cannon, but anywho,) uses to hold its shots together, and used it to make an energy shell that would zat anyone within a couple meters.
Both arms had hands on them. I decided on having two flat fingers and a thumb over something more human. Of course, since hands got in the way of shooting things, I'd mounted them on U-shaped brackets that would let the hands move off to the side and slide up the arms, leaving the barrels free for delicious dakka.
Actually, dakka isn't delicious. I need to get working on a sense of taste - wait, I already put that down on my to-do list.
I also made a fabber version of the capture bot. Identical to the previous mini-fabber, but with the narrower frame and hands added on. That was simple.
C-Dox and C-Fabber, complete.
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With that accomplished, I moved on to trying to review my logs again. Since I understood precisely none of it last time, I figured I could try again, and see if that worked.
Let's see, I don't understand this log entry, this one, that one is referring to my core installation, I think. Wait my core has a serial number. Ugh. Well, add "scrub core serial number from memory" to my to-do list.
Even though I could look through references and records far faster than I could as a human, I was still stuck not understanding those log files. I did find base sensor data for my teleporter… thing. It didn't look like anything I could compare it to, so I did what any good Commander did: throw numbers at it. Specifically, numbers of Research Cores. I wasn't going to devote too much time to it before I was either finished with Stargate's technology (which they had a lot of, by the way) or I had gotten more advanced computer abilities. Or at least more computational ability. Stupid T3 bottleneck.
And with that, I had wasted two out of the six days until my hyperspace fabber arrived at Earth. Well, I did have some breakdowns of Goa'uld weaponry.
Goa'uld plasma weaponry. From the staff weapon to a ha'tak's main batteries, it was the same tech, only scaled. And it wasn't very good. First, it required liquid naquadah to work. I couldn't swap it out for another power source, because it used the decaying naquadah for the plasma medium. That meant having a naquadah plant anywhere I wanted to use the derived weapons.
In addition, it wasn't very good design in any way, and if the person who designed them was still around, I would smack them for signing off on the design. The arc edges used to generate the plasma had shit geometry. Like, I could literally only get a worse result if I reversed the directions my algorithms optimized towards. The field used to launch it was pathetic. I'm pretty sure I could have made a better field design at age seven using what I could get my hands on (which were old TVs.) That all leads to poor energy efficiency, an awful charge time, bad accuracy and range of all kinds, and poor damage.
And while I don't have a way to objectively measure how shit the ergonomics are, I safely assumed they were somewhere between bullshit and elephantshit bad.
The worst part is, they are still terrifyingly good weapons. They're flintlock pistols, but that doesn't stop them from being effective. They will still do a good deal of damage. Just that compared to the longbowmen of the Tau'ri and my own weapons, they are awful.