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It's a death chapter for a character we've just met whose death was telegraphed in the preceding chapter.
I think we can see the flaw here.
Let's Read: Vox Day's Arts of Dork and Spite, and Try to Make the Resulting Hurt Stop.
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It's a death chapter for a character we've just met whose death was telegraphed in the preceding chapter.
I think we can see the flaw here.
A Throne of Bones: Corvus. Corvus HEROICALLY plots and schemes.
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CORVUS
Right. Corvus is going somewhere.
Corvus is sad, because Corvinus, the son with whom he never interacted in the pages of this book, is dead. We get a lot of prose about him thinking about his son, and then one of Beale's occasional true notes, Corvus being distressed to discover that he can't clearly picture Corvinus' face. So naturally, he quares that immediately.
But naturally he doesn't. A Proper Amorran, Our Corvus. Can't let mourning get in the way of plotting. Corvus is meeting with four other high ranking Amorrans, which includes Torquatus, but strangely enough, doesn't include Maximus, the man who seemed to have been designated by the story as Corvus' political mentor. But then, Beale thinks it's all just adding names in the end, doesn't he? The rest of what I shall dub the Amorran Council of Concerned Citizens includes Longinus, the previously mentioned man whose house they're meeting at, Andronicus Aquila and Lucretius Caecilius, heads of their respective Houses Martial, and Gaerus Tillius, who is the nominal head of military operations for his, but actually runs things as his father is senile. Torquatus is, we learn, representing the "Lesser Houses" who have less significance than the Houses Martial, we learn, because in spite of greater numbers, they don't have legions, just votes in the Senate.
Such a stable government, the Amorran Republic.
Andronicus quickly gets to work, declaring that they represent nine of the fifteen House legions--eleven of seventeen if the city legions are counted, and that Patronus only has six at best. Apparently they aren't counting anything that's not a legion, which means the foreigners' forces and the Church's multiple armies aren't being considered. Good planning that. Longinus says, well, let's not be hasty with all this talk of civil war. Tillius joins in and apparently he is a vicious bastard who settled a revolt but good. Tillius is clearly revealed as the Young Hothead of the group, as opposed to Andronicus' Cool Planner, and Longinus' One Who Objects. He is convinced that Patronus is making a bid to make himself king. At this point, I wouldn't blame him if he was. The Amorran Republic is a malfunctioning mess screaming that is fine even as it regularly has pieces explode.
Andronicus quickly reveals that he knows that Patronus will be making his move soon. Also, no talking about this with their families and clients. Spies everywhere! He insists that Amorr has never known a civil war. How is something of a mystery, because again, this is a thing that should be falling apart in a different way at least once a decade. Hell--we also know it's bullshit because Andronicus is descended from the former kings of Amorr, who were overthrown by the Houses Martial. And then apparently kept around, once again, on the honor system. At best he should be saying "Never known civil war since the rest of you united to overthrow my family. Which we don't resent at all! Bloody good show, chaps!" And Beale should know this as he specifically points out that Andronicus is descended from the kings of Amorr. But thinking things through is not his strong point.
Andronicus produces a scroll, because he is clearly the guy in the ACCC with the Magic Spy Ring that find everything out. It is from the King of Thursia--one of those damn provinces on the map--to Patronus, promising that they will serve as clients of House Severus for the next hundred years in return for getting the citizenship. Andronicus reveals that Patronus has six other such scrolls, from other provinces and allies. Longinus points out this... isn't actually illegal, and that one of the places mentioned already is pledged to Patronus. Torquatus declares that this will all change if they have Citizenship! This large body of voters will be under Patronus' control and--wow. Beale has no idea how voting worked in the Roman Republic. And now, a quick seque.
This is all heavily based on the Social War, with Patronus taking the part of Marcus Livius Drusus the Younger. And yet looking at some details of Patronus--an old established politician who is the master of the Senate--one realizes that Beale is fighting a battle against one of the American Racist Right's favorite bugaboos. Patronus is LBJ, and his Citizenship Act is the 1965 Immigration Act, with Drusus and the Social War used as equivalents. There are several problems with this, with perhaps the obvious one being this is an evil point of view. One of the biggest, however, is these things really aren't the same, even if you are a muttonhead obsessed with nonsensical standards of purity. The Amorrans aren't dealing with letting new people in--they're facing the question of extending suffrage to an exploited majority that is getting increasingly sick of its situation.
But enough about Beale's obvious dog in the fight. Corvus reveals all the information that happened in the Marcus chapters. Aquila bemoans that Patronus is always ten steps ahead of the ACCC and has a gift for making himself look like the victim. They consider the information, and realize that Patronus really has them at a disadvantage here. So there's only one answer--assassinate Patronus. Longinus quietly asks if killing Patronus to prevent a civil war is a good idea, and if the ACCC has the right to do this. Torquatus replies that of course they do, they're special men and people who hold power, so who cares what the rules say? They know what's best! They have a right and a duty to act! Longinus points out that this is about throwing out the rule of law, undermining their own case. The rest of the ACCC ignores him, insisting that things are dire! Now is the time to act! They have no time! Patronus is clearly behind everything, so all they have to do is kill him! Corvus agrees. They can't fight a civil war now! Kill Patronus!
They put it up to a vote, and Longinus caves, so the ACCC has a unanimous vote for extra-judicial murder of a leading Senator. Also, we learn that Tillius was behind the whole "convince Severa that a gladiator was in love with her" plan, which means it was actually real, and that he planned to kidnap her. From Andronicus, because remember, he's the guy with the spies. They talk about how to do it, and Corvus says he'd murder him with his bare hands, but you can't have the Consul do it. It'd look bad. Longinus announces he'll do it, because the One Who Objects is always the one who agrees to do it in the end. That's how you show things are serious. Longinus says he can get close to Patronus and get things done. He will make sure that Patronus won't survive... Hivernalia. It's Hivernalia again. And so things wrap up, with Beale apparently not realizing that he's made his purported good guys a bunch of cowardly, hypocritical thugs, who will stop at nothing to get their own way.
Which is to say, people who seem like bad guys to the average reader.
Right. Corvus is going somewhere.
Corvus is sad, because Corvinus, the son with whom he never interacted in the pages of this book, is dead. We get a lot of prose about him thinking about his son, and then one of Beale's occasional true notes, Corvus being distressed to discover that he can't clearly picture Corvinus' face. So naturally, he quares that immediately.
But naturally he doesn't. A Proper Amorran, Our Corvus. Can't let mourning get in the way of plotting. Corvus is meeting with four other high ranking Amorrans, which includes Torquatus, but strangely enough, doesn't include Maximus, the man who seemed to have been designated by the story as Corvus' political mentor. But then, Beale thinks it's all just adding names in the end, doesn't he? The rest of what I shall dub the Amorran Council of Concerned Citizens includes Longinus, the previously mentioned man whose house they're meeting at, Andronicus Aquila and Lucretius Caecilius, heads of their respective Houses Martial, and Gaerus Tillius, who is the nominal head of military operations for his, but actually runs things as his father is senile. Torquatus is, we learn, representing the "Lesser Houses" who have less significance than the Houses Martial, we learn, because in spite of greater numbers, they don't have legions, just votes in the Senate.
Such a stable government, the Amorran Republic.
Andronicus quickly gets to work, declaring that they represent nine of the fifteen House legions--eleven of seventeen if the city legions are counted, and that Patronus only has six at best. Apparently they aren't counting anything that's not a legion, which means the foreigners' forces and the Church's multiple armies aren't being considered. Good planning that. Longinus says, well, let's not be hasty with all this talk of civil war. Tillius joins in and apparently he is a vicious bastard who settled a revolt but good. Tillius is clearly revealed as the Young Hothead of the group, as opposed to Andronicus' Cool Planner, and Longinus' One Who Objects. He is convinced that Patronus is making a bid to make himself king. At this point, I wouldn't blame him if he was. The Amorran Republic is a malfunctioning mess screaming that is fine even as it regularly has pieces explode.
Andronicus quickly reveals that he knows that Patronus will be making his move soon. Also, no talking about this with their families and clients. Spies everywhere! He insists that Amorr has never known a civil war. How is something of a mystery, because again, this is a thing that should be falling apart in a different way at least once a decade. Hell--we also know it's bullshit because Andronicus is descended from the former kings of Amorr, who were overthrown by the Houses Martial. And then apparently kept around, once again, on the honor system. At best he should be saying "Never known civil war since the rest of you united to overthrow my family. Which we don't resent at all! Bloody good show, chaps!" And Beale should know this as he specifically points out that Andronicus is descended from the kings of Amorr. But thinking things through is not his strong point.
Andronicus produces a scroll, because he is clearly the guy in the ACCC with the Magic Spy Ring that find everything out. It is from the King of Thursia--one of those damn provinces on the map--to Patronus, promising that they will serve as clients of House Severus for the next hundred years in return for getting the citizenship. Andronicus reveals that Patronus has six other such scrolls, from other provinces and allies. Longinus points out this... isn't actually illegal, and that one of the places mentioned already is pledged to Patronus. Torquatus declares that this will all change if they have Citizenship! This large body of voters will be under Patronus' control and--wow. Beale has no idea how voting worked in the Roman Republic. And now, a quick seque.
This is all heavily based on the Social War, with Patronus taking the part of Marcus Livius Drusus the Younger. And yet looking at some details of Patronus--an old established politician who is the master of the Senate--one realizes that Beale is fighting a battle against one of the American Racist Right's favorite bugaboos. Patronus is LBJ, and his Citizenship Act is the 1965 Immigration Act, with Drusus and the Social War used as equivalents. There are several problems with this, with perhaps the obvious one being this is an evil point of view. One of the biggest, however, is these things really aren't the same, even if you are a muttonhead obsessed with nonsensical standards of purity. The Amorrans aren't dealing with letting new people in--they're facing the question of extending suffrage to an exploited majority that is getting increasingly sick of its situation.
But enough about Beale's obvious dog in the fight. Corvus reveals all the information that happened in the Marcus chapters. Aquila bemoans that Patronus is always ten steps ahead of the ACCC and has a gift for making himself look like the victim. They consider the information, and realize that Patronus really has them at a disadvantage here. So there's only one answer--assassinate Patronus. Longinus quietly asks if killing Patronus to prevent a civil war is a good idea, and if the ACCC has the right to do this. Torquatus replies that of course they do, they're special men and people who hold power, so who cares what the rules say? They know what's best! They have a right and a duty to act! Longinus points out that this is about throwing out the rule of law, undermining their own case. The rest of the ACCC ignores him, insisting that things are dire! Now is the time to act! They have no time! Patronus is clearly behind everything, so all they have to do is kill him! Corvus agrees. They can't fight a civil war now! Kill Patronus!
They put it up to a vote, and Longinus caves, so the ACCC has a unanimous vote for extra-judicial murder of a leading Senator. Also, we learn that Tillius was behind the whole "convince Severa that a gladiator was in love with her" plan, which means it was actually real, and that he planned to kidnap her. From Andronicus, because remember, he's the guy with the spies. They talk about how to do it, and Corvus says he'd murder him with his bare hands, but you can't have the Consul do it. It'd look bad. Longinus announces he'll do it, because the One Who Objects is always the one who agrees to do it in the end. That's how you show things are serious. Longinus says he can get close to Patronus and get things done. He will make sure that Patronus won't survive... Hivernalia. It's Hivernalia again. And so things wrap up, with Beale apparently not realizing that he's made his purported good guys a bunch of cowardly, hypocritical thugs, who will stop at nothing to get their own way.
Which is to say, people who seem like bad guys to the average reader.
Yeah, that's what I thought.
BTW, WRT the Social War, that's the one where afterwards, the Romans admitted they Dun Goofed, and ended up passing the reforms anyways, right?
Which means, in attempting to knock on something he doesn't like, Beale is comparing it to something that history shows was 100% right.
rofl:How do you fuck up that badly?
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Yeah, that's what I thought.
BTW, WRT the Social War, that's the one where afterwards, the Romans admitted they Dun Goofed, and ended up passing the reforms anyways, right?
Which means, in attempting to knock on something he doesn't like, Beale is comparing it to something that history shows was 100% right.
How do you fuck up that badly?
Ahhh, but if you're a real racist reactionary nitwit, the fact that they gave up and passed the reforms that they started the vicious civil war trying to prevent is the real tragedy! If only they could have continued to deny the Italians citizenship. That would have solved all their problems! Somehow!
A Throne of Bones: Fjotra. Things continue to happen.
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FJOTRA
It's back to Fjotra, who is having one of her infrequent timejumps, having skipped the boat trip to wind up in... Portblanc, a Savondir city. Patrice has headed off to notify the King that the Red Prince is dead, while Fjotra wastes a long time thinking about how slowly the... Savondese, now it's Savondese, take to unload their ships, and how those ships need special harbors, which is how the cod Vikings have been able to cause them so much trouble, despite being centuries behind their rivals in this area.
Sure. Sure.
Anyway, Fjotra has two handmaidens with her, and they are slack-jawed at Portblanc, including at yes, the windows. And then we get this...
Yeah. One wonders how the hell the cod vikings cod viking at all. They discuss the weirdness of the Bell, and Fjotra declares that they should simply accept that the Savondese supermen are their superiors. The handmaidens nod and coo over the dresses. The trio then wander around and reach the bad part of town. Which results in a couple creepy, rapey thugs approaching them--Fjotra draws a dagger from her bosom, but they draw long wooden clubs from... their pants.
Beale really doesn't think about these things.
Anyway, they thuggishly threaten Fjotra. At which point, a man appears to thuggishly threaten them. When they point out they have him outnumbered, he reveals he's a wizard, Harry. The two thugs who live in a state with a national wizard force are baffled by a man being a wizard. Also, this wizard talks like a real ass, but then, he's a Beale character trying to pull off threatening, so it's only natural. Needless to say, one keeps at it, giving the wizard more chances to show off, in this case by having the thug stab himself to death.
Having done all this, he chats some with Fjotra who he's there to pick up to introduce to... her betrothed. Fjotra is puzzled by this, as she doesn't have a betrothed, but the wizard, whose name we learn is Donzeau, insists on it. He works, she learns, for the Duc de Chenevin, who is the Red Prince's little brother. Fjotra, despite not trusting Donzeau, agrees to go with him. When her handmaids try to not go with him, Donzeau unleashes nasty magic on them, and then threatens them. And with that they're off.
Something tells me Fjotra's in trouble.
It's back to Fjotra, who is having one of her infrequent timejumps, having skipped the boat trip to wind up in... Portblanc, a Savondir city. Patrice has headed off to notify the King that the Red Prince is dead, while Fjotra wastes a long time thinking about how slowly the... Savondese, now it's Savondese, take to unload their ships, and how those ships need special harbors, which is how the cod Vikings have been able to cause them so much trouble, despite being centuries behind their rivals in this area.
Sure. Sure.
Anyway, Fjotra has two handmaidens with her, and they are slack-jawed at Portblanc, including at yes, the windows. And then we get this...
Yeah. One wonders how the hell the cod vikings cod viking at all. They discuss the weirdness of the Bell, and Fjotra declares that they should simply accept that the Savondese supermen are their superiors. The handmaidens nod and coo over the dresses. The trio then wander around and reach the bad part of town. Which results in a couple creepy, rapey thugs approaching them--Fjotra draws a dagger from her bosom, but they draw long wooden clubs from... their pants.
Beale really doesn't think about these things.
Anyway, they thuggishly threaten Fjotra. At which point, a man appears to thuggishly threaten them. When they point out they have him outnumbered, he reveals he's a wizard, Harry. The two thugs who live in a state with a national wizard force are baffled by a man being a wizard. Also, this wizard talks like a real ass, but then, he's a Beale character trying to pull off threatening, so it's only natural. Needless to say, one keeps at it, giving the wizard more chances to show off, in this case by having the thug stab himself to death.
Having done all this, he chats some with Fjotra who he's there to pick up to introduce to... her betrothed. Fjotra is puzzled by this, as she doesn't have a betrothed, but the wizard, whose name we learn is Donzeau, insists on it. He works, she learns, for the Duc de Chenevin, who is the Red Prince's little brother. Fjotra, despite not trusting Donzeau, agrees to go with him. When her handmaids try to not go with him, Donzeau unleashes nasty magic on them, and then threatens them. And with that they're off.
Something tells me Fjotra's in trouble.
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Ok, confession. When I see the name "Fjotra", I think of Fjorm from Fire Emblem Heroes.
It wouldn't surprise me to learn Beale was thinking about that.
Coiler
ROURKE
No, the dates don't match. Fjorm has only existed as a character since last November, years and years after the publication of this book. It's just both of them trying "Norse-ish" names in a coincidence.
teslashark
One of the brother site’s janitors
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- Somewhere
Fjord and Brynjolf are both popular Elder Scrolls Skyrim NPCs...
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So basically, he's just yanking out cod-Norse names from wherever.
A Throne of Bones: Aulan. Aulan takes part in the worst engagement party ever.
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AULAN
So, it's a busy time in Amorr. The patricians (at least the male ones) are declaring for the lower offices, military tribune and... "quastor". Goober is likewise preparing to, but as Aulan notes, he's not a guy who's going to have put much effort into this what with his family and his soon-to-be in-laws.
...
...
Amorran Crystal Dragon Jesus, that sentence. That effing sentence...
Right, so we get some musing by Aulan about his da, which reveals that Patronus is so honest he left one of the richest provinces in the Amorran Empire a poorer man then when he started. Oh, and it's the same province that our Corvus used to replenish his funds after being aedile. It's almost like Beale is aware on some level how shit his "good guys" are. Aulan muses that while he of course supports his father's ideas about enlarging the citizenship, he does wonder if the people used to kings can get Amorran republicanism. With its dynasties, bastard feudalism, and the like.
Right, so Goober and Aulan chat about the engagement, and also serving in the legion, which makes us hate both of them. Magnus joins, and tells them to get a move on. As it is now made clear that this is the betrothal. There's a lot weak description to take up space, and... it's still Hivernalia so, yay, I guess. We get more descriptions of the rite and...
...
...
Anyway, more of the rite the betrothal goes on, it ends, Aulan chats up a girl, there's a press of the crowd and... Patronus gets stabbed. There's a bit of panic at that, even as Patronus declares that he's going to be fine, just fine, and it becomes clear that the blade was poisoned. And then, just as he dies, our pal Cassianus Longinus declares that he did it and that Patronus had it coming. From behind his crossbow-toting household guard, because of course he does. Longinus replies to people calling him a murderer by stating that it wasn't a murder, it was an execution for treason.
Only, without a trial, so yeah, murder.
Anyway, Longinus assures everyone that he's just brought the guards so he doesn't get killed now, and he's perfectly willing to go on trial at the Senate. Hell, he's eager to, to reveal what a traitor Patronus was. And with that, he flounces off with his guards, though not before someone declares to him that Patronus was the only thing keeping the allies from rising as one. There's some more raging, Magnus gets everyone to calm down, there's some more talk, and that's that.
So... good bye Patronus. You may have started out by observing horrible gladiator fights and selling your rebellious daughter's bodyslave to a brothel, but in the end, you were the one sympathetic Amorran character.
Isn't that sad?
So, it's a busy time in Amorr. The patricians (at least the male ones) are declaring for the lower offices, military tribune and... "quastor". Goober is likewise preparing to, but as Aulan notes, he's not a guy who's going to have put much effort into this what with his family and his soon-to-be in-laws.
...
...
Amorran Crystal Dragon Jesus, that sentence. That effing sentence...
Right, so we get some musing by Aulan about his da, which reveals that Patronus is so honest he left one of the richest provinces in the Amorran Empire a poorer man then when he started. Oh, and it's the same province that our Corvus used to replenish his funds after being aedile. It's almost like Beale is aware on some level how shit his "good guys" are. Aulan muses that while he of course supports his father's ideas about enlarging the citizenship, he does wonder if the people used to kings can get Amorran republicanism. With its dynasties, bastard feudalism, and the like.
Right, so Goober and Aulan chat about the engagement, and also serving in the legion, which makes us hate both of them. Magnus joins, and tells them to get a move on. As it is now made clear that this is the betrothal. There's a lot weak description to take up space, and... it's still Hivernalia so, yay, I guess. We get more descriptions of the rite and...
...
...
Anyway, more of the rite the betrothal goes on, it ends, Aulan chats up a girl, there's a press of the crowd and... Patronus gets stabbed. There's a bit of panic at that, even as Patronus declares that he's going to be fine, just fine, and it becomes clear that the blade was poisoned. And then, just as he dies, our pal Cassianus Longinus declares that he did it and that Patronus had it coming. From behind his crossbow-toting household guard, because of course he does. Longinus replies to people calling him a murderer by stating that it wasn't a murder, it was an execution for treason.
Only, without a trial, so yeah, murder.
Anyway, Longinus assures everyone that he's just brought the guards so he doesn't get killed now, and he's perfectly willing to go on trial at the Senate. Hell, he's eager to, to reveal what a traitor Patronus was. And with that, he flounces off with his guards, though not before someone declares to him that Patronus was the only thing keeping the allies from rising as one. There's some more raging, Magnus gets everyone to calm down, there's some more talk, and that's that.
So... good bye Patronus. You may have started out by observing horrible gladiator fights and selling your rebellious daughter's bodyslave to a brothel, but in the end, you were the one sympathetic Amorran character.
Isn't that sad?
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Coiler
ROURKE
So this is supposed to be Lyndon Johnson? I mean, it's not like LBJ never used his offices to benefit himself and his family.
(Of course a character actually modeled on LBJ, where you could never tell when the sincere idealism ended and the cynical transaction politics began, would be a lot more interesting than this unintentionally sympathetic cutout.)
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It's a mashup of LBJ and Drusus, who was by all accounts this honest, AND who like Patronus was stabbed to death on the eve of the Social War.
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Beale is a very weird white supremacist.
A Throne of Bones: Severa. Severa and the family cope with things.
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SEVERA
So, it's after the funeral, and we learn things are fraught in Amorr, with the city divided between Patronus backers and detractors. Oh, and Torquatus and Corvus showed up at the funeral of the man whose assassination they ordered, because of course they did. It's increasingly clear that Longinus is going to be facing a sympathetic jury in his Senate trial. Severa thinks that if only her da were still here, he'd have been able to counteract all these vicious slanders.
...Right. Anyway, we learn how her brothers are dealing with things--Regulus is raving, Aulan is confused, and Tertius is working to figure out who should be the new head of the Severans, as none of Patronus' kids are old enough for the Senate. This leads to a great deal of debating about a bunch of characters we've never met, nor heard of until now. Then more discussion about their plans. For a chapter, the Severans seemed to have stumbled out of their funk and entered into the book of political intrigue that their father was a part of, which was going on largely between chapters and at the corners of this one.
Magnus, Goober, and another Severan ally show up. Goober reveals that the provinces AND the allies are starting to rise in revolt--the brilliant plan of killing Patronus has in fact gotten the dissatisfied provincials to give up on a furtive battle to get what they want, and shifted them into open war. The allies going is especially bad news as they make up roughly half of the legionaries.
...
Go on. Guess what Beale is trying to say here.
Anyway, Goober assures Severa that the wedding is still on, and then we move on to a quick discussion of where things stand. Magnus declares that it is now clear that Patronus was right all along. The other ally, a Falconius with a lot of legions, states that with the upcoming war with the allies and provinces, justice against Longinus will have to go on hold, as they need his family's legions. Then, lots of details of who's going where. Severa points out how unfair it is that Longinus is going to get off the hook, but as everyone points out, it's politics. There's a bit more natter, and that's that.
So--the plot just kicked in with abandon, it seems.
So, it's after the funeral, and we learn things are fraught in Amorr, with the city divided between Patronus backers and detractors. Oh, and Torquatus and Corvus showed up at the funeral of the man whose assassination they ordered, because of course they did. It's increasingly clear that Longinus is going to be facing a sympathetic jury in his Senate trial. Severa thinks that if only her da were still here, he'd have been able to counteract all these vicious slanders.
...Right. Anyway, we learn how her brothers are dealing with things--Regulus is raving, Aulan is confused, and Tertius is working to figure out who should be the new head of the Severans, as none of Patronus' kids are old enough for the Senate. This leads to a great deal of debating about a bunch of characters we've never met, nor heard of until now. Then more discussion about their plans. For a chapter, the Severans seemed to have stumbled out of their funk and entered into the book of political intrigue that their father was a part of, which was going on largely between chapters and at the corners of this one.
Magnus, Goober, and another Severan ally show up. Goober reveals that the provinces AND the allies are starting to rise in revolt--the brilliant plan of killing Patronus has in fact gotten the dissatisfied provincials to give up on a furtive battle to get what they want, and shifted them into open war. The allies going is especially bad news as they make up roughly half of the legionaries.
...
Go on. Guess what Beale is trying to say here.
Anyway, Goober assures Severa that the wedding is still on, and then we move on to a quick discussion of where things stand. Magnus declares that it is now clear that Patronus was right all along. The other ally, a Falconius with a lot of legions, states that with the upcoming war with the allies and provinces, justice against Longinus will have to go on hold, as they need his family's legions. Then, lots of details of who's going where. Severa points out how unfair it is that Longinus is going to get off the hook, but as everyone points out, it's politics. There's a bit more natter, and that's that.
So--the plot just kicked in with abandon, it seems.
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It's pretty much the latter.
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A Throne of Bones: Theuderic. Still in the book.
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THEUDERIC
As we start his latest chapter, let's feel a bit of sympathy for Theuderic, who was clearly set up to be a big deal, and has wound up spending his various chapters as a sort of glorified minor character in other people's storylines. That's not about to change in this one, though the idea it might will occur to the casual reader.
So, Theuderic and company are heading to Amorr. It's early winter, and there are a strangely large number of people on the road, who appear to be Amorrish provincials. Theuderic's subordinate with a comical lower class accent asks around, and it appears that the Amorrans are throwing provincials out of Amorr. In the winter.
Theoderic decides that this clearly doesn't matter to him. Bright boy, our Theuderic.
They then pass by a monk practicing baptism in a river, because apparently adult baptism of believers isn't a big deal to the Amorran Church of Crystal Dragon Jesus. Theuderic talks about the faith to Lithriel as if he wasn't a practitioner. Maybe he isn't--consistency isn't Beale's strong-point, as we've all learned by now.
The group reaches the border of Amorr proper, the aforementioned bridge. Astonishingly, the decision to throw provincials out of the city has been joined by an order to not let foreigners into the city. Theuderic is nonplussed by this, and ultimately gets in by revealing he's with a church embassy that's got a lot of silver, which ultimately works, because the Republic's warring remits between Church and State have made their security Crystal Dragon Swiss Cheese.
Getting in, Theuderic gets more facts about the upcoming civil war, and declares that the fact that its noble families all head large armies explain why Amorr isn't a monarchy. Mmmm... no. No, Beale, it begs the question why it isn't a monarchy. In fact, once that happened to Rome, it started a wave of civil wars and ended with, yep, a monarchy. Theuderic gets a lot more infodumping on the story to bring him to speed, and possibly to remind readers adrift in the tale what's going on. They reach the walls of Amorr. They're big. Amorr is big--it's ancient Rome in medieval world, and yes, Beale even throws in the insulae, the Roman tenements, though he gives them their translated name of "islands". Theuderic thinks about using his magic to knock some over, but decides not to. Such a nice man.
The embassy is taken under the wing of the Sanctal Guard, which includes some Michaelines. Theuderic sweats about this, and pats himself on the back for not toppling over a tenement. Such a nice man. Beale still thinks that the plural of "shaman" is "shamen". The embassy is escorted to the Sanctal Palace, made of fancy white marble. They go inside, meet the cardinal expies, get their chambers--Theuderic gets adjoining rooms with Lithriel, which even he decides shows an eerie amount of knowledge about what he's doing, instead of a keen grasp of the obvious. He goes to see the new Pope. And retcon bomb--the Throne of Bones has gone from being carved out of a single leviathan bone to being made out of the bones of saints, with gold plated skulls at the corners.
...
...
Theuderic says he prefers the silver throne of Savondir, and well, obviously. We learn that our boy Valens, the new Pope, is going by Pelagianus. He accepts the embassy and the silver, does the glowing tree thing, which apparently Theuderic has no idea can happen. Because of course, the church isn't going to make a big deal out of an apparent miracle. Valens gives Theuderic a cryptic warning, then elevates the archbishops accompanying him to the cardinalate, because sure, why not. Theuderic is feeling all smug when some mysterious sorcery starts up. Theuderic is wondering what's going on, and decides to check it out. This turns out to be a mistake--the sorcerer gives him a mental jolt sever enough to knock him out.
End scene, and leading us to ask... Immortal(?) Bishop Larry? Is that you?
As we start his latest chapter, let's feel a bit of sympathy for Theuderic, who was clearly set up to be a big deal, and has wound up spending his various chapters as a sort of glorified minor character in other people's storylines. That's not about to change in this one, though the idea it might will occur to the casual reader.
So, Theuderic and company are heading to Amorr. It's early winter, and there are a strangely large number of people on the road, who appear to be Amorrish provincials. Theuderic's subordinate with a comical lower class accent asks around, and it appears that the Amorrans are throwing provincials out of Amorr. In the winter.
Theoderic decides that this clearly doesn't matter to him. Bright boy, our Theuderic.
They then pass by a monk practicing baptism in a river, because apparently adult baptism of believers isn't a big deal to the Amorran Church of Crystal Dragon Jesus. Theuderic talks about the faith to Lithriel as if he wasn't a practitioner. Maybe he isn't--consistency isn't Beale's strong-point, as we've all learned by now.
The group reaches the border of Amorr proper, the aforementioned bridge. Astonishingly, the decision to throw provincials out of the city has been joined by an order to not let foreigners into the city. Theuderic is nonplussed by this, and ultimately gets in by revealing he's with a church embassy that's got a lot of silver, which ultimately works, because the Republic's warring remits between Church and State have made their security Crystal Dragon Swiss Cheese.
Getting in, Theuderic gets more facts about the upcoming civil war, and declares that the fact that its noble families all head large armies explain why Amorr isn't a monarchy. Mmmm... no. No, Beale, it begs the question why it isn't a monarchy. In fact, once that happened to Rome, it started a wave of civil wars and ended with, yep, a monarchy. Theuderic gets a lot more infodumping on the story to bring him to speed, and possibly to remind readers adrift in the tale what's going on. They reach the walls of Amorr. They're big. Amorr is big--it's ancient Rome in medieval world, and yes, Beale even throws in the insulae, the Roman tenements, though he gives them their translated name of "islands". Theuderic thinks about using his magic to knock some over, but decides not to. Such a nice man.
The embassy is taken under the wing of the Sanctal Guard, which includes some Michaelines. Theuderic sweats about this, and pats himself on the back for not toppling over a tenement. Such a nice man. Beale still thinks that the plural of "shaman" is "shamen". The embassy is escorted to the Sanctal Palace, made of fancy white marble. They go inside, meet the cardinal expies, get their chambers--Theuderic gets adjoining rooms with Lithriel, which even he decides shows an eerie amount of knowledge about what he's doing, instead of a keen grasp of the obvious. He goes to see the new Pope. And retcon bomb--the Throne of Bones has gone from being carved out of a single leviathan bone to being made out of the bones of saints, with gold plated skulls at the corners.
...
...
Theuderic says he prefers the silver throne of Savondir, and well, obviously. We learn that our boy Valens, the new Pope, is going by Pelagianus. He accepts the embassy and the silver, does the glowing tree thing, which apparently Theuderic has no idea can happen. Because of course, the church isn't going to make a big deal out of an apparent miracle. Valens gives Theuderic a cryptic warning, then elevates the archbishops accompanying him to the cardinalate, because sure, why not. Theuderic is feeling all smug when some mysterious sorcery starts up. Theuderic is wondering what's going on, and decides to check it out. This turns out to be a mistake--the sorcerer gives him a mental jolt sever enough to knock him out.
End scene, and leading us to ask... Immortal(?) Bishop Larry? Is that you?
- Location
- Somewhere
These names just keep annoying me. It's honestly better to just go full "make shit up" than the pseudo-Earth names, they just grate.
Agreed. If I ever actually manage to do the Gem Griffin Papal Conclave project, I'm keeping it.
- Location
- East Coast
Jeweled skeletons are one thing. Making them into a chair, with the accompanying "sitting on them" element, is another.
And I say that as a man who knows about ossuary chapels.
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