You'd think starting a cult over nerd shit would be embarrassing, but it just keeps happening. There was Lord of the Rings cult, several different and unrelated Harry Piotter cults (one of them, admittedly, started by the same person behind the LotR one, IIRC), Final Fantasy one...
More recently, the Church of Null, focused on Cyn from Murder Drones, has produced some catchy music, but I'm only mostly sure they're just doing a bit.
On the other hand, multiple people seem to have gotten good results by directing worship towards Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, and/or Twilight Sparkle. ...Though now I'm also remembering one of them commenting on some other people claiming to worship Twilight Sparkle who, IIRC, they found rather disturbing in the details.
The world is a strange place sometimes.
Omicron said:
Finding out that knowledge of the existence of Worm broke out into the almost-mainstream through a rationalist cult linked to several murders named after one of the Endbringers was definitely one of the more, "exciting" moments of the past few weeks.
A Rationalist who was also into worm took Ziz as her name(well, online handle). She developed a really messed up worldview due to a host of things, resulting in a cult that is linked to a few murders. This wired article is supposed to be a good summary: https://www.wired.com/story/delirious-violent-impossible-true-story-zizians/
In contrast, compare Lindblum, which I'm pretty sure is never modified at all, but they hide the fact by keeping it conveniently out of the player's view after the damage happens!
Hm. What do you mean? I don't recall whether Lindblum's appearance on the world map was modified or not, but I don't recall it being hidden from the player's view, either -- and the prerendered screens for the interior of Lindblum are definitely changed.
SolipsistSerpent said:
Well, when it comes to Wizards of the Coast making bad decisions, always remember they're owned by and under a lot of pressure from Hasbro which is, if anything, even stupider.
What, Hasbro, not always making the best decisions? I am utterly shocked by this wild and crazy revelation I never could have guessed at!
[looks at how MLP G5 was handled]
Yeeeeah.
Hm. What do you mean? I don't recall whether Lindblum's appearance on the world map was modified or not, but I don't recall it being hidden from the player's view, either -- and the prerendered screens for the interior of Lindblum are definitely changed.
When it comes to the overworld, Lindblum is on top of a hill. It's not like the cutscene, where it's built into the hill like Minas Tirith, it's a 3D object on top of the thing. During this sequence, I believe your only way to exit the town is via the Dragon Gate, which doesn't connect to the hilltop, but to the side of the hill below. Once you're down there, there's no way to see the city no matter how you position yourself, just the gate you used to get here. Maybe an upgraded Chocobo can do it, but I believe you need the airship to get up there.
If I'm wrong, and you can exit via another gate, that's my bad.
(I also don't personally remember the gate to the plateau being unavailable during this part of the game, though it's been long enough since I last played that I wouldn't be automatically trusting that alone here.)
To answer this question, Lindblum's appearance is unchanged, but that's easy to dismiss due to Lindblum's cylindrical + enclosed structure. At the scale the place is displayed, it makes sense that the damage would not be visible.
To answer this question, Lindblum's appearance is unchanged, but that's easy to dismiss due to Lindblum's cylindrical + enclosed structure. At the scale the place is displayed, it makes sense that the damage would not be visible.
Last couple of updates have been coming out more slowly through no fault of the game's own, I'm just coming up on the tail end of a couple of Exalted assignments that have been taking up most of my focus. Should update soon though!
Last couple of updates have been coming out more slowly through no fault of the game's own, I'm just coming up on the tail end of a couple of Exalted assignments that have been taking up most of my focus. Should update soon though!
Last couple of updates have been coming out more slowly through no fault of the game's own, I'm just coming up on the tail end of a couple of Exalted assignments that have been taking up most of my focus. Should update soon though!
... to clarify, you mean assignments in the official development of Exalted right?
Because I think I recall you saying you are part of that, and I think you don't need to make excuses for work to come before entertainment.
Unless this is also work for you, in which case work with timelines comes before stuff without.
... to clarify, you mean assignments in the official development of Exalted right?
Because I think I recall you saying you are part of that, and I think you don't need to make excuses for work to come before entertainment.
Unless this is also work for you, in which case work with timelines comes before stuff without.
I'm a freelance writer who is contributing to several Exalted books, yes! One of them has been released (Many-Faced Strangers) and the others are in various stages of the publishing pipeline.
I do also have a Patreon where people give me money for my public-facing writing, so I try to consistently have something going on that I update regularly.
The thing is, I also play Magic the Gathering. And the Final Fantasy set, in addition to being one of the things I'm most excited about for MtG this year (in complete opposition to my usual stance on Universes Beyond, because I'm a hypocrite) is going to be fully Standard-legal and playable on Arena. I'm not banning myself from playing MtG for the next four years for the sake of this LP, so potential spoilers featured on cards from the FF set are just something we're going to have to be dealing with.
For the record I've looked at most of the MTG stuff that's been released and the majority of them pull from popular knowledge about the games involved, meaning they mostly revolve around stuff from the first couple hours. Like, Cloud is described as "ex-SOLDIER" and Cecil is a dark knight, for example. Apart from characters existing, it seems pretty spoiler-free.
I thought they had at least two versions of Cloud? One ex-SOLDIER, the other with a different title representing him later in the game? I mean when Omicron was spitballing ideas for these cards months ago he had that idea, so maybe I'm just getting wires crossed, but I thought I saw that being from the actual sets as well.
I thought they had at least two versions of Cloud? One ex-SOLDIER, the other with a different title representing him later in the game? I mean when Omicron was spitballing ideas for these cards months ago he had that idea, so maybe I'm just getting wires crossed, but I thought I saw that being from the actual sets as well.
Interestingly, this card's illustration is the only one I've seen yet of a card set outside the events of its own game - this is the confrontation at Midgar in Advent Children.
The battlefield of the final battle of the Remake is close enough in look to the battlefield for the final battle in Advent Children that it's very clear the Remake was making an homage to Advent Children. Hence why I think that the battle being referenced there is the final fight in the Remake.
Buy-a-box promos spoiled. They're going for the step on me caucus with this one.
"Okay, so I tap Quistis, drawing two cards... and now I'll untap her to draw another two cards... finally! I cast Murder targeting Edea—"
"Force of Negation."
"This is why people call you a witch, you know."
It's a Buy-A-Box promo for Force of Negation, a card which is over fifty bucks because it's a free counterspell. Japan exclusive, only 2000 copies, all that jazz.
The other much more common Japan exclusive Buy-A-Box promo is Arcane Denial with beautiful art of FF14's Endsinger.
[Lights on. A BLACK MAGE enters.]
To be, or not to be, that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles
And by opposing end them.
To die—to sleep,
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to: 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep;
To sleep, perchance to dream—ay, there's the rub:
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come,
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause—there's the respect
That makes calamity of so long life.
[Lights out.]
Last time, we…
God, okay, wow, I was not planning to take nearly two weeks between playing this next sequence and writing the update about it. That should be, uh, exciting. On the upside, please be excited for Riders from the Sunless Land, the Abyssal companion for Exalted Third Edition!
(I'm going to be entirely real with you there was also some MtG in there as Tarkir: Dragonstorm released and it has, like, dragons.)
This one has no funny title for parts because I usually write these last before I post as my way to decompress and right now it's 1am and I need to post and vanish.
Thankfully we paused at a perfect time last update: We had just come out of the Fossil Roo and onto the soil of the Outer Continent, and had yet to begin our exploration. So let's do just this now!
As we've established last time, the Outer Continent is largely a desert. There's still some faint grass plains, though they're clearly bordered by desertified land; and while there are forested areas, the trees and shrubbery are in greyish tone that evokes desiccation, and it's not clear if that forest is even really alive anymore.
The main spot of verdancy we find in this whole dour picture is… A marsh. Standing out very prominently in the landscape, with the central structure of tall reeds, the outer spread of swamplands, some greenery radiating out where the plains are irrigated, and everything falling to desert again beyond. It's a really neat way to show that place as a small, withered oasis in an encroaching desert.
This is an exciting development. The game has sort of implied in the past that we might find other Qu Marshes in the world, and now we're seeing one! Might we find Quina's long-lost relatives? Vivi's grandfather? Or something stranger, a Qu community that grew on the Outer Continent and is completely different of the Qu we (only slightly) know? Let's head in and find out!
…
You can't be for real.
Okay, so in the Mist Continent marsh, there was a path into the reeds on that screen, but here there is not. So it does look like the marshes are different in some respect, if only the location of the paths through the reeds, so let's explore deeper in and–
OH MY GOD
ARE YOU SERIOUS
Okay so I guess every Qu Marsh in the world is some kind of gestalt location with multiple sites across the world that all magically overlap so that every Qu Marsh is one singular Qu Marsh no matter where you access it from, either that or Quale can just fucking teleport and never brought it up, we could have just gotten space-swapped to the Outer Continent instead of going through Fossil Roo–
It doesn't matter. There's no in-game explanation. The Qu Marsh is just there for Quina to be able to take part in the frog-eating game, and Quale is the one handing out frog game rewards so he needs to manifest at any Qu Marsh. He doesn't actually have any story-relevant dialogue and we can't find his house in the Marsh, the only thing there is the frog minigame.
But if we did wish to provide an in-character reason the only reasonable explanation is that Zidane leaves Quina alone when they do the frog minigame, so Quale dropped by, explained nothing, Quina is so spaced out that they don't ask because they don't care and they never even think to mention Quale being there to Zidane, which is. Hilarious.
Anyway that's it for the marsh, let's head back to the overworld.
Zidane has a new Trance ability called Solution 9, which hits enemies for absurd amounts of damage and also got a callout in Dawntrail that makes me wonder if there's anything to the name beyond just being one of Zidane's attack moves.
There's a gigantic, withered forest, nested in a canyon. I explored there because I thought I saw a tree "dome" that might be a Chocobo Forest, but it's instead something entirely different.
We meet a friendly Ladybug on the way and give her some ore.
Well, that's intriguing. Getting some real Tim Burton vibe out of this one.
Approaching the sign tells us, "this road leads to a dead end." This doesn't appear to differ based on which sign we read, though? So I decide to pick a random road out of the two and…
…end up right where I started.
The game plays this classic trick in which a character leaves through one side of the screen and comes out of the other, indicating an endless loop that always leads us back to where we started one way or the other. This is likely a puzzle of some kind, but right now I have no hints as to how to beat it, so I simply leave.
Definitely getting a spooky, intriguing vibe from the Outer Continent so far. This place clearly has life beyond monsters (the signs must have been painted by people, after all), but it's largely deserted, largely desert, and largely hostile from rampaging monsters. So far we haven't met a single soul we could talk to aside from a non-diegetic Quale cameo.
But this might change with our next destination: This strange place constructed on what appeared to be some kind of bridge earlier, but I now realize is a natural bridge made up of those giant roots that we keep seeing pop up out of the ground across the Outer Continent:
Conde Petie, uh. I have no idea what that means. According to Wikipedia, "conde" is the duty of guiding a ship, which is an incredibly weird word to be using for a building. "Petie" might be a deformation of French "petit" (little), which would make sense since we already have Roo/Rue. "The small duty of leading a ship"? That doesn't seem to mean anything.
Vivi: "We came all this way, and there's still no Mist at all…" Zidane: "Yeah, and that weird-shaped… village? What is that thing?" Dagger: "Maybe it's a temple of some kind." Quina: "Is very delicious shape. Inside might have fine cuisine!"
[Quina heads on alone.] Zidane: "Geez… All s/he ever thinks about is food." Dagger: "Well, all you ever think about is girls…"] Zidane: "Uh, that's right! My mind is filled with thoughts of… you!"
[He starts saying this with her back to her; by the time he does his theatrical turn around on "...you!" Dagger has already walked away and he's just staring at Vivi instead.] Zidane: "..." Vivi: "..."
[Vivi heads on.] Zidane: "Maybe I'm trying too hard…"
They call him The Man With No Game. Incredible stuff. I love the way Quina leaves first, then Dagger after burning Zidane, and his recovery move fails so pathetically that he and Vivi just stare at each other in silence then Vivi just. Leaves without a word. That man wrecked himself so desperately no words of support could ever help. He's finished.
So let's head into Conde Petie and find what this is all about.
…dwarves?
Wow, it's been a while. Since Final Fantasy V, in fact! In previous games, dwarves usually had the same "black hole head with shiny eyes under headgear" deal that Black Mages had. Here, probably to avoid confusion with the whole black mage/Vivi subplot, they're instead short, green-skinned little guys with very square faces… But the game did put in a connection between dwarves and black mages we'll see soon, likely as a nod to that old similarity.
The dwarves greet everyone with a "Rally-ho!" (as opposed to "Lali-ho," probably the same phrase in Japanese translated differently before standardization of franchise keywords) confusing everyone. Dagger attempts a "Wr-Wraly-ho…?", Vivi echoes it with a tentative "Rh-Rhallie-who…?" and the dwarves are pleased with their performances, greet them again and leave. That leaves Zidane behind in front of one greeting dwarf who informs him that "Rally-ho's oor sacred greetin'!"
Wait. Oor?
Villager: "If ye dinnae say Rally-ho, then ye cannae enter Conde Petie, hametoon o' the dwarves!"
Oh god, they're Scottish dwarves.
Okay, well, that is simply something we will have to live with.
Zidane seems to nearly cringe himself to death watching the dwarves do their little salute and "Rally-ho" again, then mutters a feeble "...Rally-ho…" under his breath. This is good. You need teenagers to have to do cringe things to inoculate them against an excess of the ego. Though Zidane is likely too far gone already.
The dwarves cheerfully allows Zidane to pass once he's given the greeting, and we get the usual onslaught of ATEs.
Vivi and the Couple
Vivi: "Hmm… The people here sure are different."
[He approaches a male dwarf; suddenly a female dwarf comes out of one of the doors.] Margaret Miller: "Come hither, ye!"
[She runs into Vivi.] Vivi: "Aaa! I'm sorr–" Margaret Miller: "An' just where do ye think ye're goin'!?"
[The male dwarf turns to look at her.] Margaret Miller: "Ye're always loiterin' aroon'!" Granin Miller: "Wheesht! Would ye stop hecklin' me for once!" Margaret Miller: [She advances and Vivi steps out of the way.] "Away wi' ye!" Vivi: "Um, pardon me, but…" Margaret Miller: "Where would ye be wi'oot me!?" Granin Miller: "Y-Ye dinnae have tae get sae angry…"
This feels like a Scrooge McDuck skit, my god.
Anyway, this domestic dispute scene is straightforward but establishes what it needs to, namely 1) the dwarves are just regular couple, with couples getting grumpy at each other and doing a basic "my wife" comedy routine, and 2) they're completely unfazed by Vivi's presence, just like before people wearing his type of outfit started wrecking the Mist Continent. Not much else to say here.
Quina Accused
Quina walks into the local store and asks if the village has any "tasty munchies"; the vendor tells them Conde Petie is home (sorry, "hame") to the most delicious nuts and berries in the world. If you'll recall, in Dali Village we saw the local staples as vegetable stir-fry, potatoes, pumpkins, and various kinds of pickles, which gives us a frame of reference for how different the local cuisine is, with more of a "gatherer" vibe… Except, wait, that is a squash right there on that vender's counter! Okay I have no idea if we're meant to infer anything from the cuisine.
Quina and Wendy Grocer commiserate about how awful thieves are, then Quina asks about the food, Wendy tells them the "pumpkin bomb" sells for 1000 gil, and Quina gets confused at the idea of paying for food.
Incredible. Quina simultaneously has a concept of what a "thief" is and no concept of paying for things. I have no idea what's going on in their brain. I can only assume Qu society works off a kind of mutual aid scenario where people share food under a web of give-and-take social expectations or something. Communist Lickitungs, what a concept.
Anyway Wendy immediately accuses them of being the thief who's been stealing from her and Quina runs away in a panic, calling themselves "only a gourmand."
Dagger and William
Those dwarves appear to be sitting around a… Coffee or tea machine? Tea, as it turns out. It's huge, has multiple spigots, and there are cups below it; each dwarf is sitting on a cushion around the device and chatting. I wonder if it's drawing inspiration from a specific historical practice.
Walter Teamaker: "Soon, Ah'm gtonna have tae find a wife fer ma wee William." Dagger: "Excuse me….." Barbara Gibgab: "No lassie wants yir William fer a man."
[Dagger approaches, trying to get the dwarves' attention.] Barbara Gibgab: "Well, what's wrong wi' this ootsider lass right here?" Dagger: "Um, hi. I was wondering–" Walter Teamaker: "Hmmm… Aye, she's a bonnie lass, at that." Dagger: "Have any of you seen–" Helen Birdkeeper: "But she's awful small tae send tae the Sanctuary, din ye ken?" Jinkus Emptybottle: "Look at her! She's a mickle bigger'n ye, Ah ken!" Dagger: "I'm not marrying anybody!" [She turns around and leaves, incensed, but pauses briefly.] "Hmm… Sanctuary…"
So, as you've probably gathered by now, the dwarves follow nominative determinism. Or more likely they're just named after their job. Margaret and Granin Miller are the Millers because they take care of the mill. Walter Teamaker is likely the owner of this establishment. Jinkus Emptybottle is either a local bar employee or the town drunk.
Which leaves me with one weird question: Who the hell is Barbara Gibgab? She appears to be a kind of gossip, making fun of Walter's son, and then suggesting (in an odd bit of open-mindedness but a worrying approach to consent) suggesting he might as well marry the foreign visitor. But that doesn't tell us anything about her job; I've searched "Gibgab" online and the only results are either modern company names that are clearly just syllables mashed together, or different names like "jibjab."
However, we've established that those dwarves are Scottish, right? And apparently Scots has a term called giff-gaff which can refer to "mutual aid, tit for tat" or to banter or bandy words. So it's possible that through a deformation, that characters' name is supposed to be "Barbara Smacktalk," and this is apparently a more important part of her identity than whatever her job is or was.
What a fascinating culture.
The dwarves seem relatively chill with outsiders, considering that other dialogues reveal they see them only rarely; they show a distinct lack of curiosity in who we are or where we came from, and most notably in this discussion, show no particular concern with the fact that we are all freakishly tall, pale and slender compared to them.
Hungry Bryan
Our closest look at dwarven anatomy so far, and rather interesting. They all have extreme mandibular prognathism (underbites), with very long, very pronounced chins; their heads are very large proportionate to their bodies, their arms long, their legs very short, and they have stocky builds. In addition to green skin, some display green hair. Their style of attire reminds me of some kinds of Native-American fabric, which I feel I also recognize in some of their architecture?
They're Scottish Native-American dwarves with Hapsburg's jaws. What a combo.
Bryan Rootrunner: "Sis! Ah'm hungert!" Darcy Skywatcher: "But ye just ate a boiled owl, did ye no?" Ryan Rootrunner: "Ah did, but it didnae satisfy me voracious appetite! Ah have tae eat somethin' wi' more punch, likesay… Eh?"
[They both turn to look at something off-screen.] Darcy Skywatcher: "Rally-ho!" Bryan Rootrunner: "It's Mister Pyntie-Het! Rally-ho! What have ye tae sell today!?"
[The screen fades to black but in the last frames before it's gone, you can just barely glimpse a Type-A Black Mage doll approaching the two dwarves.]
Well, well, well.
The thick plottens.
I gotta say though, we're learning more about dwarven cuisine and… Boiled owl? My initial reaction was "what a wacky recipe to give the wacky dwarf people to signal that they're weirdos." But then I got curious.
Is owl ever eaten, and if so how?
The answer turned out more complex than I anticipated. Owls are very deceptive birds: Despite their cultural association with wisdom, they're among the dumber bird species. And despite their impressively fluffy coats of feathers and their apparently broad and wide faces, underneath it owls are actually extremely lean birds: Everything you see of an owl is feathers. That means they have no meat at all… But people still eat them, and have eaten them for a long time, and that trend may be only enough raising in modern times, as a new trend in exotic meat. So. Yeah.
…
This was certainly one of the more interesting spreads of ATEs we got in the game. Interspersed with Zidane's own exploration and dialogue that we'll see more about in the moment, they do a really good job of offering quick hints of characterization, worldbuilding, and giving us a broader view of this new place we knew nothing about walking in. The fact that the group scatters and has their own little adventures each on their side (and we can find some of them and talk to them in between ATEs) really does a great job at conveying that these are individual people with their own tastes and interests, having their little side-story. None of it is massively consequential, but, well, it's what FF8 desperately needed with its cast of Balamb Garden students struggling to establish themselves as having a compelling inner life. It's almost enough to make me say the ATE system was a good idea compared to the old-fashioned "just use normal splitaway cutscene."
…except that there is an extra ATE which I missed, "Quina Can't Communicate," which is supposed to follow up on "Quina Accused" and which I missed entirely because I didn't move through Conde Petie and the ATE sequences in exactly the right order.
So no, the ATE system is still trash.
So, while all this is going on, what's up with Zidane?
Zidane tries to tell people they came from the Mist Continent looking for someone, and the dwarves are mildly interested (they don't get many outsiders, as they say) but don't really know anything or care much about our questions (also this Jenny Greeter thinks Zidane is checking her out which — honestly I have no idea as to the exact boundaries of his taste in women, he might). When he asks people why they built their village here, they explain that it's because they feel the mountains, woods and sun more than anywhere else; there's an emphasis on a kind of harmony with nature and the elements that fits well into a 2000-era vision of "Native American inspiration," problematic though it might be today. One of the dwarves asks Zidane his favorite food and our possible options are…
Boiled owl… Seasoned oglop… and Fried rootbeans. I have no idea what a "rootbean" is but it's the only thing in this set that doesn't sound absolutely disgusting.
At the store, Zidane asks a dwarf how come there's no Mist here, and the dwarf has no idea what Mist is.
Which suggests one of two things: 1) this place has never known Mist, because it's unique to the Mist Continent, or 2) this place has known Mist, but it was so far into its past the dwarves retain no cultural memory of it.
The former would draw attention to the Mist Continent's truly unique and bizarre nature. The latter… Would suggest the Outer Continent is genuinely a post-apocalyptic wasteland. We grab some mail from the moogle, head to the weapon store, and the game does another of these "foreshadow a character who will soon join the party by putting their gear in shops before you meet them" dealios:
Poison Knuckles. Sounds like we're getting a brawler soon.
We can run across Vivi, having a normal chat with some dwarves.
Too normal, in fact.
Zidane: "What's the matter, Vivi?" Vivi: "Um… These two people–" Derek Stonehammer: "That hen ye cooked fer me was awful good, it was! What way did ye cook it? Did ye frizzle it wi' some o' yer mejick?" Kelley Fingerweaver: "The berries ye traded me were astoundin', too! But likesay, what's a wee lad like ye doin' here the day?" Zidane: "Hey, Vivi… Do you know these people?" Vivi: "How could I? I've never been here before."
Yeah so let's not beat around the bush here: These people have seen black mages before. They are familiar with them. They trade with them. Their lack of surprise at seeing Vivi at first wasn't because he just looked like a normal kid to them, the way he did in Alexandria at the start of the game, but because they're used to black mages making contact with them… Peacefully.
This is it. We've found the black mage homeland. It makes sense, right? Kuja comes from the Outer Continent, Kuja provided Queen Brahne with the technology for the Black Mage factory, it makes sense that the original black mages — the sentient version Vivi is, which the dolls were probably modeled after — originally came from or developed here.
Let's put a pin in that.
A young couple talk about dwarven marriage practices, noting that they want to one day be joined by the blessing of the sun on top of the "Kirkboat" but are too young for now, which emphasizes the sun as one of the major elements the dwarves worship. This is highlighted by the light work in this area, with sunlight streaming in from multiple angles and bathing the whole place in a warm golden glow.
I don't know what a "Kirkboat" is, but it's definitely that weird blue vessel-shaped thing at the center of the atrium. But when we ask another dwarf about it, he has a very odd response: He doesn't know what a boat is.
He calls the Kirkboat the "symbol of Conde Petie," and uses the term "Kirkboat," but has no concept of what a "boat" as a standalone word is. So they either never used that vessel to sail, or it's been so long ago they have lost any cultural memory of its use as such.
This is very strange, but it also ties back into my musing earlier - if "Conde" is being used in the meaning of "duty of commanding a ship," then it's quite possible that what we're looking at with Conde Petie is a settlement originally built around a stranded (magical?) ship, named after the duty of commanding said ship even after the waters receded, until eventually all memory of their nautical origins was forgotten.
Could this place be the stranded hull of a Noah's Ark, after a biblical flood? Worth keeping in mind.
At the teashop, we can find two fountains, and each time we drink in one, the tea drinkers share a story, first about a fountain of youth then about a fountain of happiness, with each time another character responding that we shouldn't trust such tall tales or throw away our money.
And then, as we head for the grocery store…
Wendy Grocer: "Plenty thanks. Yir goods are always welcome here." Black Mage: "..." Zidane: "Hey…"
[The black mage starts in visible surprise." Black Mage: "!!!"
[Vivi enters from the other side.] Vivi: "What the–" Black Mage: "..."
[The black mage runs out of the room.] Vivi: "W-Wait!"
[Vivi runs off after it.] Zidane: "Hang on, Vivi!"
So.
This is curious. The black mage reacted with visible surprise and fear as soon as it saw Zidane, then confusion and more fear when it saw Vivi – it did not react to the presence of a black mage child with "oh hello young one, what are you doing there."
It's seen humans before and it's afraid of them in a way it wasn't of dwarves.
A small chase scene ensues, at the end of which we find ourselves back at Conde Petie's exit. Zidane asks Vivi where the black mage is, and Vivi says that "he ran away."
Zidane: "Huh. Where the heck did he come from? Has Queen Brahne found us?" Harold Pathknower: "Do ye ken the Pyntie-Hets?" Vivi: "Huh? Did you just say Pointy-Hats!?" Harold Pathknower: "Nay, Ah said Pyntie-Hets! They often come from the Sootheast Forest tae trade wi' us." Zidane: "They!? You mean there's lots of them? And… they live near here?" Harold Pathknower: "Aye! But ye gots tae go all the way aroon' yon cliff an' then go east tae find the Sootheast Forest! They live sae deep in the forest, that even owls dinnae live here!" Zidane: "What's that supposed to mean?"
Well Zidane, I don't know, but we'll find out. These seem like good enough clues to proceed to our next destination — or rather, go back to it; dwarves block our paths past Conde Petie, so we need to head out of Conde Petie and back track to that forest earlier. Which we'll do in a moment.
That's Conde Petie wrapped up for now, but I'd like to do a brief aside, because I just went through the thickest Scottish brogue dialogue in this update and that left me wondering:
How is Conde Petie presented in French?
Well, for one thing, its name is "Condéa." The condea is a genus of flowers found in America, particularly South America, so this could be a reference to the Native American visual inspirations of Conde Petie, but it seems just as likely that the French writers just randomly slapped an -a at the end of a name they couldn't translate.
As for the dwarves, they completely lack the Scottish accent (obviously) or any kind of accent. That… could really mean anything as far as the JP script is concerned: French doesn't use phonetic accents in quite the same way as English tends to do because most French accents are very subdued compared to other languages.
What's more interesting is the names, because the naming scheme is completely different. Margaret Miller is "Oshizu," Granin Miller is "Suekichi," Jenny Greeter is "Mitsuko." These are just… Normal-ass Japanese names. It appears that the FR script's approach to making the dwarves of the Outer Continent foreign is… To just give them normal Japanese name. I suspect this might actually come from the JP original?
So, now that we've bought a bunch of gear, let's equip our characters (Zidane gets Counter! Quina gets Counter! Everybody gets Counter!), passing around the Running Shoes to slowly build up my ridiculous "Everyone has Auto-Haste" advantage, and then…
…we finally locate some chocobo tracks and summon Choco. Hell yeah.
Finally relieved of the burden of random encounters, we can freely roam around the continent at our leisure, both to check if there are any locations I didn't find earlier (there doesn't seem to be) and then it's time to roam around the continent's shore looking for chocograph locations!
If you look at the sea you can probably see how the divide between water we can waddle in and water we can't is much clearer without the Mist filter.
We get 12 Peridots out of this chest, which is wild because the Peridot is the item that teaches Dagger to summon Ramuh??? Twelve is more than we'd ever need to equip the whole party, so I'm guessing that the game really wants us to use these rocks as consumables. Also, if the game lets us skip the Ramuh riddle and go on without him (I didn't check), Peridot availability would make it pretty easy to get Ramuh anyway. Very odd design all around.
ROLLIN' AROUND AT THE SPEED OF SOUND, GOT PLACES TO GO GOTTA FOLLOW MY RAINBOW
I can't manage to locate the other chocograph location at this stage, so let's head back to the owl forest.
So we're back at the infinite loop forest. How do we get through?
Well, it's simple. See those lil' guys?
There are three owls perched on the branch. Every time we move a screen, either one of them leaves, or not. Since owls don't leave deep in the forest, we're trying to reach 0 owl by picking the right paths. This is made much easier once I realize that the sign starts saying "this way towards more/less owls" which makes it very easy.
We get into some random encounters on the way, of course, such as a giant owl that is so big it can't fly and thus isn't vulnerable to Thunder. Funny. Also, floating mushrooms.
The owl is the tougher of these, but we still blow through everything with some time to try and nab a bite for Quina off each enemy. And finally, we make it to the heart of the forest!
…Esthar reference?
I mean, "advanced magic users living in a hidden location concealed behind a veil that makes it appear to be a mostly dead/deserted area" isn't a rare fantasy trope (for one thing, it's Wakanda in the MCU), but this definitely seems like a callback to Esthar in the last game.
Here though, what's hiding behind the veil isn't an advanced magitech city; rather, it's the first forest area we've seen so far to be green and vibrant, unlike the forest we went through to get here - and the fact that we seem to have moved through a sand dune to gets there gives us an idea of how barren the area normally is. The black mage heads into town, and our party follows, the veil closing behind them with a really cool lens effect.
Cut for image count.
Final Fantasy IX, Part 15.B: Conde Petie & Black Mage VillageNew
Finally, finally we are getting some answers. Look at this! A bucolic little village, in the middle of one of the rare fertile areas on this continent, populated by peaceful black mages. This must be where Vivi is coming from. Time to get our boy home.
He even pratfalls like Vivi.
Okay. So it's not working great. Whatever happened to the black mages to make them go into seclusion, they clearly don't extend humans the same trust they do dwarves. The whole village breaks and runs the moment they notice us.
Vivi advances a few steps, muttering "W-Wait…" but he is not listened to. Only barely reunited with his own, and immediately rejected. Poor kid.
But he's undeterred. He tells Zidane that these BLMs were talking, and so they must be like him — and he immediately runs off to try and talk to them.
Dagger: "Why would anyone build a village in the middle of a dying forest…" Zidane: "Beats me…" Dagger: "Where's Vivi?" Zidane: "He wents that way… But I…" [Dagger has already left. Quina enters.] "Hey!" Quina: "A village! Village always have good food. I find!"
[They leave.] Zidane: "Geez, you people…"
It is extremely funny that the specific way the group scatters both times it does in this update is in the form of Zidane starting to say "So I think we should–" and everyone just breaking off without listening to him and scattering while he just stands there like a dumbass.
It's strangely fitting that it's the game in which the (otherwise quite competent!) lead protag doesn't command any respect from his party that introduces "party breaks up when entering into town without listening to instructions" as a regular beat. Say what you will about Squall, he ran a tighter ship than this.
So! You know the drill now. ATEs.
Everyday Life
It's not clear to me whether the houses are merely built round out of planks, or whether these are hollowed out tree stumps.
Black Mage N°163: "According to the book I picked up last week… the customer says 'give me the usual' when he wants to buy something special. What would I do if a customer asked for 'the usual'...? Being a shopkeeper is really hard!"
[Another Black Mage suddenly approaches running.] Black Mage: "The humans are here!" Black Mage N°163: [He approaches one of his shelves and starts rummaging.] "What are humans…? I forgot… Are they a type of food?" [He starts pacing around kind of aimlessly.] "Huh!? A human? Um… ….I forgot what to say…"
…well, that was certainly… Strange. Hm.
Let's put a pin in that.
Life on the Run
The same Black Mage is running through the village, shouting that the humans are here. Vivi is chasing right after him, and Dagger is chasing after them; but at some point she seems to lose track of them, pauses in front of that central wooden house you can see above, and then decides to examine it. Very short, not much to say.
Gourmand's Nose
Meanwhile, Quina is hunting for food, passing right in front of a moogle. They mutter "Why you run away? I not do anything… What you hiding?" And to be fair to Quina, they do consistently avoid to eat humanoid enemies… For a given value of "humanoid."
Goblinoids obviously don't count.
Quina approaches a the door above the moogle, which is adorned with a chocobo symbol, leans in, and smells a "delicious aroma," immediately heading in.
Ominous. Quina is going to cause a diplomatic incident by eating the black mages' chocobo, aren't they? God. It's fine. It's all good.
This visit is turning into more of a disaster by the second.
Visitor, not Invader
Dagger decides to remember that she's a princess unafraid of anything, and boldly steps into a black mage shop to make direct introductions and finally put this whole incident to rest.
Dagger: "Um… Excuse me…" Black Mage N°32: "Why are you here!?" Black Mage N°192: "This is our village!" 32: "Yeah! 192: "You forced the little guy to guide you here, didn't you!? That's all you humans ever think about: using us!" Dagger: "You mean about Vivi? That's not true! It's just that I was surprised to see black mages other than Vivi who could talk, so… Besides, I'm here to stop the person who is sending you off to fight!" 32: "A-Are you telling the truth?" 192: "Lies! All humans are liars! You're lying!" Dagger: "But it's true! I can't just sit there and watch while horrible things are happening!" 32/192: "....."
Ah, it's nice to get to see Assertive Dagger again, fighting against fate and reaching out to people, telling them she won't abide evil while there's something she can do about it. It looks like she's finally coming out of her depressive state, so I'm currently bullish on "this was an understandable rough spot for her to cross and she is pulling out of it and won't spend the rest of the game reassigned Girl as her personality."
The conversation ends there, for now.
I was going to make some joke here about the whole bit being funny slapstick that is about to suddenly veer into dark, but… No, not really. All these QTEs are comedic in nature, but underlying it all is this clear sense that those black mages are, to an extent, traumatized. Despite them being powerful wizards and us, as far as we know, a handful of random people who just wandered in, they're terrified of us, and they do not attempt to threaten us with their magic; they merely run or hide or tell us to go away. One of them refuses to trust Dagger, the other is all too eager to believe her, there is very little beyond an epidermic reaction there. It's all raw, vulnerable, fragile. It's like…
…they're children.
Different Languages
And there's the punchline.
As the ATE kicks in, the funky little beat that has been playing this entire time fades out, replaced by the sound of a peaceful stream running nearby, the wind, and no music at all. Vivi walks onto an area leading to a small, fenced hill, where our first sight is a kind of scarecrow in a black mage robe and hat, which is a funny visual, until you realize that there isn't actually a field there, and that there are a lot of these scarecrows.
One of the black mages is a Type-C, the most ornate ones carrying golden staffs, and he speaks more eloquently than any of his peers.
Black Mage N°288: "Is he the one who came here with that group of humans? He's alright. Look into his eyes. He's aware, just like us." Vivi: "Th-Thanks… Um… What are you all doing here?" 288: "We escaped together from Alexandria and the cargo ships." Vivi: "This far!?" 288: "That's right. We wanted to live in a world where there were no humans. To find that, we had to cross the ocean." Vivi: [He approaches.] "I see…" [He pauses in front of the stone steles under the scarecrow.] "So… Um, what's this?" Black Mage N°56: "This is a… uh… What's the word?" 288: "It's a cemetery." 56: "Right. A cemetery." Vivi: "A cemetery…? So… Underneath the ground–" 288: "Yes, our friends are buried under here…" Vivi: "But… why?" 288: "That's because…" 56: "I… I came here with Mr 36. We escaped together. We had so many things to learn. It was really scary at first, but we helped each other. Then one day, Mr 36 stopped moving. He just stopped… Wouldn't move or say anything. My friend who knows a lot of things told me that this was what 'death' was, and we had to bury him." [He turns to Vivi.] "Mr 36 is buried under the ground now. But I don't understand why. He's going to come out again one day, right? When he does, I'm going to wash him off in the pond."
Ah, right in the fucking heartstrings. Good hit, FF9. Good hit.
Vivi: [He turns to 288.] "Wh-What's he talking about…?" 288: "....." Vivi: "Was it a disease? Or was he hurt?" 288: "...." Vivi: "Tell me! Why?"
[Cutscene ends.]
So that was kind of a downer.
I don't just mean the black mages being confronted with the reality of death, though obviously also that. Vivi isn't a stranger to death, he's seen far too much for a child this young in fact, but it's clear "Mr 56" hasn't and is struggling to comprehend what death even is. But Vivi knows, so he naturally asks — what did that poor black mage die from? Disease? Injuries sustained during his escape?
It's only once he sees that Mr 288 isn't answering his questions that he starts really getting agitated.
Just… Keep an eye on those number-names for me, will you.
No, I don't just mean the black mages being confronted with death. I mean also… I was wrong. My whole set of assumptions leading up to this was wrong. What I thought we'd discover here was a secret, ancient Black Mage Village, the original "awakened" black mages of which the modern dolls are mere 'mindless' copies (though of course we know they aren't truly mindless, see the way they protected Vivi from the Black Waltz). That this village would contain answers about Vivi's origins, why he was different from the automata versions of the black mages, that they feared humans because of a wrong done in the past.
But… No.
These are all simply Alexandrian refugees. Black Mage dolls, fresh off the factory line, which awakened and sought escape from war, from being used, from being led to a death they didn't even understand.
They have no answer for Vivi. No hint as to his origins. Except perhaps the opposite of what he might have wanted:
"Look into his eyes. He's aware, just like us."
More and more it's seeming like Vivi was just just another Black Mage doll, likely an experimental prototype (hence his being a child) which happened to awaken to consciousness one day. No different from any of these. But, of course, these black mages are living fine, peaceful lives, so perhaps it's fine if he's a doll… Right?
Just one last ATE.
Life Cycle
Thank God we have the Quina Comedy Hour to distract us.
Quina: "A-ha! I know you hide food!" Black Mage N°111: "Get out!" Black Mage N°33: "This egg is ours!" Quina: "Is chocobo egg! Chocobo egg super-delicious! We share and eat it!" 111: "We're not gonna eat it!" 33: "A chocobo mother left it for us before she stopped moving!" 111: "That's right! We're gonna raise it for her!" Quina: "You crazy." [They turn from one black mage to the other.] "You never raise any animal before." 33: "Shut up! We can so do it!" Quina: "I no believe you. You eat egg behind my back!" 111: "No way!" 33: "No way!"
Ah goddammit. Even Quina managed to break their Comedy Containment Field for the space of a second to point out that these poor bastards have no idea what they're even doing. They don't even understand death, yet they want to take care of a chocobo chick. God.
(Let's leave the disturbing implication that Quina has eaten chocobo eggs before aside for now.)
And that takes care of the Black Mage Village's ATEs.
This was… A lot. We went from comedy with bleak undertones to outright existentialism in a shockingly short time there. Of course, in practice, navigating these ATEs is parallel to Zidane moving through town (and we can miss some ATEs if we do things in the "wrong" order, as previously established), but still.
So how does Zidane fare in his own exploration of the town?
Better than you'd expect, frankly! We can actually head to Mr 163's store and (perhaps because he doesn't remember what a 'human' is) he will serve us as any customer. We can even order him to "give me the usual", which causes him to get slightly confused and start sifting through his wares, which frees up a ladder behind him we can use to rob his house.
I'm sorry, there's no way to describe this sequence of events that doesn't make Zidane come across as a sociopath taking advantage of the mentally impaired.
If we walk into the house with the two black mages with one sitting up on a tall chair, we find Dagger there; she explains to Zidane that she was explaining to the BLMs why we're there, to which Zidane responds, humorously, with crossing his arms and asking, "Why are we here?". He has totally lost track of the plot, poor boy. But on the plus side, Dagger did manage to use her off-screen time to actually get the two black mages to settle down and treat us as guests, really getting back some of her groove. That room with two, as it turns out, is the "Black Cat Synthesis Shop". No clue where the name came from, but finding a synthesis shop is great news!
We make a bunch of items, loot the chests for gil, refresh our equipment, then scout around until we find a proper weapon store, whose black mage holder, Mr 239, is a Type-C (with the staff) and clearly very nervous to address us, but he does sell to us anyway.
And we can head to the cemetery. Because Mr 288 recognizes Zidane as human, his dialogue is a little different.
288: "We became aware one day, each under different circumstances." Zidane: "Became aware? How?" 288: "Do you remember being born?" Zidane: "No, not really." 288: "It was the same with me. I just woke up one day… And there was a human body lying next to me." 288: "His body was covered in blood. It scared me… I didn't know what it meant. I ran as fast as I could. When I looked around, I was far away from the front line. There were many others like me, and we decided to escape together. We heard about this village after roaming around for a while. That's how I ended up here." Zidane: "I see…"
This help contextualize things. The awakening was sudden for each black mage, with very little understanding both of their situation, and of existential concepts like war, death, but a sense of fear for their own lives — and no memory of their past lives.
Every single one of these black mages was a weapon used by Alexandria, and likely has the blood of one or more humans on their hands. But none of them can be truly blamed for it, can they? They're like blank slates who were used to murder people, only to awaken with no memory of what they'd done and, by all appearances, a terrible fear of violence, both suffering and inflicting it.
That they all ended up drawn to this place is odd. It's also…
…well, this whole thing is, to me, a really compelling plot beat, with some really fascinating character elements. You just have to, uh.
Not think about the timeline. Don't think about the timeline in FF9. Just never do it. Everything takes three days except for the parts that only make sense if three months happened while we were traveling until the next part that implies all of this took a week at most.
The black mage dolls awakened during one of the Alexandrian attacks we've seen, then ran through the Mist, to the shore, across the ocean (with what ships!?), sailed all the way to the Outer Continent, traveled all across the dead forest, found this place, built a village, wove an illusory enchantment to hide it, then reached out to the dwarves and started establishing relations with them and trading with them. All in the space of… How much time? Let's just not think about it.
We also run into Quina, who asks us if we want to eat the egg with them, and the black mages who ask us to take Quina with us. We just rob them of Gysahl Greens and head out. There's also an inn, though they're not ready to serve us yet.
But there's someone else in that inn, in the backroom.
Zidane: "...Vivi? What's wrong?"
[Vivi takes a moment to actually turn to Zidane, seeming to not even have noticed his presence.] Vivi: "Huh? Oh, Zidane… It's… It's nothing." Zidane: "Did something bad happen? All the black mages seem pretty nice." Vivi: "Nothing happened…" Quina: [Off-screen] "Grr… I hungry!"
[Quina walks in; Zidane and Vivi join her in the main room.] Quina: "This village people eat terrible food."
[Dagger walks in.] Dagger: "Oh, Vivi. You're back. Where were you? You look very…" Zidane: "You got tired, right, Vivi?"
Vivi: "Y-Yeah…" Dagger: "I don't blame you. We've been walking around non-stop. We should call it a day." Quina: "I go to forest and look for food." Dagger: "What about you, Zidane?"
[Here we can rest or keep hanging around.] Zidane: "Yeah, let's call it a day."
I genuinely cannot tell whether Zidane in this scene is talking over Vivi because he gets that Vivi is having some Big Feelings he hasn't had time to process, so "he's tired" is meant to distract Dagger and spare Vivi having to explain how he feels to Dagger or having to dodge the question, or if it's just Zidane being thoughtless and assuming he Gets Vivi even when he doesn't as fit his awkward big brother role, like in Dali village when he assumed Vivi was thinking about girls.
Either way, that concludes our day in Black Mage Village. We bought weapons, supplies, did some synthesis, we're ready for whatever the next leg of the journey is.
But while the rest of the party is sleeping, somebody gets up.
Dagger: "Zidane… Vivi just walked out." Zidane: "Maybe he's letting us have a little romantic quiet time." Dagger: "I'm serious!" Zidane: "...I wouldn't worry too much." Dagger: "But…" Zidane: "He's trying to figure something out for himself." Dagger: "...."
…okay, definitely the "big brother who is deliberately trying to let the little brother have some personal space and work out his issues without being overbearing" vibe, then, that settles that. I didn't expect Zidane to play this beat at this stage, but that's some good character stuff right there. And he has more to say, in the form of a "voice-over" as Vivi leaves the inn.
Zidane: …Think about it. Vivi's never met black mages like himself before. Dagger: But what if they're being mean to him, or saying nasty things? Zidane: Do you really think the people of this village gathered to do something like that? Dagger: ….. Zidane: Maybe… Just maybe, he'll find what he's looking for. Dagger: …Find what? Zidane: A place to call home. Dagger: Home…? Zidane: Yeah… A place where he belongs…
Ooooh, this is the good character stuff. Setting Dagger and Zidane as foils here, with both being caretakers for Vivi, but Dagger wants to protect him from the world's potential to hurt him while Zidane wants to give him a chance to connect with others without Zidane's shadow, is really strong in part because it reflects their own character arcs: Dagger herself is someone who pointedly doesn't want others to keep her from facing the world even if it will hurt her, while Zidane is watching Vivi try to find the home that Zidane never had, and more than that, he's potentially letting him go, because he knows that if Vivi finds this place where he belongs, he might stay behind.
But there's one more thing.
As this dialogue reaches its end, and the characters start talking about "home," and Zidane says "Yeah… A place where he belongs…" the camera slowly pans up and…
MOONSPIRACY!!! THE MOONSPIRACY IS REAL!!! THERE'S A BIG FAT PURPLE MOON AND ZIDANE COMES FROM THERE!!! HE'S A MOON ALIEN!!! WHY ELSE WOULD YOU HAVE THE CAMERA FRAME THE MOON DIRECTLY AS ORPHAN ZIDANE STARTS TALKING ABOUT HOME AND BELONGING, THIS WILL NOT BE LIKE FINAL FANTASY VIII, I WILL NOT BE DENIED MY MOONSPIRACY THIS TIME-
Ahem. I'm fine. I'm good. I'm alright.
Oh okay it's not over, I thought we were going to transition to Vivi now.
Dagger: Hey, Zidane… When you said home… Zidane: What's the matter? Can't fall asleep? How about a bedtime story? Let's see… Once upon a time… Dagger: There you go again, teasing me… Zidane: Once upon a time… There was a man. There was a man who didn't know where he came from… Dagger: …Zidane?
[The screen turns dark.]
Zidane: This man had longed to find his birthplace ever since he was a small child. His birthplace. A place he only remembered in his dreams…
[We see Lindblum's harbor, and Zidane landing there.] Dagger: Why…? Zidane: He wanted to know more about himself, maybe. About his parents, the house where he was born… One day, the man left the home of his adoptive father and went on a quest to find the answer. His only clue was the blue light he saw in his dreams… Dagger: A blue light?
Zidane: Yeah. He thought it might be a memory of his birthplace. An ocean, maybe…? Dagger: Did he find it? Zidane: Hey, you're jumping ahead. A lot of things happened along the way. Zidane: Alright, we can skip ahead… No, he never found it. How could he? His only clue was a colored light. So he went back to the home of his adoptive father… What do you think his father did when he came home?
Dagger: …Welcomed him home? Zidane: No way! The father raised his fist and beat the son he had worked so hard to raise…
[Sounds of beating.] Dagger: Why? Zidane: I don't know… But you know what surprised him even more? The father smiled, after beating up his son! Can you believe that? He just gave his son a beating. But this is what the man thought when he saw his father smile… Zidane: This is my home. This is the place I call home. Zidane: The man is still looking for his birthplace. But he already has a home. Maybe… It's the same for Vivi. He's looking for a place to call home. Dagger: I wonder if Vivi will stay in the village? Zidane: Who knows… That's for him to decide.
Man, the pre-00s were a wild time.
Just, the entire beat of Baku doing some light domestic abuse, and Dagger being mildly shocked because she's The Sensitive Girl, but Zidane being chill because… Implicitly Baku beating Zidane is a demonstration of affection; that Baku was legitimately worried about Zidane after he ran away, but manly men can't express such emotions, so Baku "shows" how afraid he was by beating Zidane once he comes back or, depending on reading, beats Zidane up because he has to show that this disobedience can't be brooked but is secretly proud of him for being so independent/happy that he came back, (probably both at the same time, really). And Zidane obviously isn't happy about getting literally beaten up, but when he looks at Baku he sees Baku smile and he understand what it's all about, and he's fine with it, and he decides "yeah, that's all right. This is where I belong. This is my home."
You could play this beat for beat identically today, but it wouldn't register as heartwarming. It would register as the tragedy of abuse, and how we yearn from affection even from those who hurt us and end up locking ourselves in relationships that hurt us and make us worse because we crave that sense of belonging so badly. Being beaten is better than nobody caring if you exist. It's something that would be right at home in one of @Kaiya's stories.
Anyway, here I'm pretty sure it's just supposed to read as boys being boys and men being men and ultimately validating of one another's feelings and all that.
It does give us a clearer timeline for Zidane's origins: He is an orphan with genuinely no idea where he was born, just a vague memory of the "color blue." (the color of THE SEA, which he was seeing FROM ABOVE, looking down FROM THE MOON) He was adopted by Baku at some point, then left to find his birthplace; that was most likely three years ago, when he first met Freya. Eventually, he failed and went back to Tantalus (we know he's said he'd left the group before), and from there stuck with them until now. There's zero doubt his true origins are of huge relevance to the plot at this point, but it's very hard to guess how and what they are.
Except that it involves the moon. That I'm sure about.
So now… Onto Vivi. Who joins Mr 288 at the black mage graveyard.
288: "Hello. Nice to see you again." Vivi: "Um… I wanted to ask you something." 288: "What is it?" Vivi: "I was wondering how many people have… stopped… moving."
[288 takes a few steps towards the gravestones.] 288: "You're very kind to use our words. But you already know what it means to live… You're asking how our friends have 'died,' not 'stopped.'" Vivi: "Um…" 288: "Seven of our friends stopped functioning recently… I think our lifespan is limited… I've suspected this ever since the first one came to a stop." 288: "It varies a little, but most of us stopped moving one year after production." Vivi: "No…" 288: "I haven't told anyone else about this. If I did, they'd feel the same way I do." Vivi: "What do you feel?"
[The black mage turns around, looking into the distance.]
288: "I don't know… Fear? I don't want to stop. And maybe I want to run away from it all. But living in this village with everyone fills me with joy. The joy of living with them far outweighs the fear of death." [He turns to Vivi.] "Isn't it the same for you? Traveling with your friends gives your life meaning."
[Vivi looks down.] Vivi: "I…"
[The screen fades to black, and opens on the next morning.]
Dagger: "Really?" Black Mage N°144: "Yeah, I think that's what you're looking for." Dagger: "Thank you!" Zidane: "What's up, Dagger?" Dagger: "Zidane! Someone saw a silver dragon in the northwest part of this continent. The people of Conde Petie said there was a place called Sanctuary, where entrance is restricted…" 144: "I think this 'Kuja' said something about a secret being hidden on this continent." Zidane: "You heard him say that?" 144: "Yeah. Something about the source of the Mist…" Dagger: "Maybe we can find out more if we go there. And maybe save my mother…" Zidane: "Right…" Dagger: "Oh, where's Vivi? If Vivi says he's staying behind…"
[Suddenly, Vivi appears.] Vivi: "Wait for me!"
Vivi: "Everyone in the village asked me to see the outside world and tell them all about it." Dagger: "I see…" Zidane: "Oh, man! I thought Dagger and I'd get to spend some quality time together." Quina: [Suddenly appearing] "What you say? You can no leave me here. I starve." Zidane: "Oh, yeah, I forgot about you…" Dagger: "Let's go, everyone! To Conde Petie! And to the Sanctuary that lies beyond!"
God, Zidane is so unrelentingly callous to Quina, it straddles the line between funny and "what the fuck, dude, what have they ever done to you." They're one of our most reliable party members! They've been in the party for longer than Steiner! Or Dagger, for that matter!
Well, in any case. The group is reunited, and now has a new objective — back to Conde Petie, and then beyond, to the place the dwarves previously kept us from entering. Vivi has a new resolve, a new mission, and a secret he isn't sharing, but he's with his friends all the same.
…
My astute readers will probably have noticed something that completely eluded me the first time I played, and which I only realized now, typing out dialogue and pulling up screenshots to illustrate the playthrough. That's because I don't have a head for math, and mostly just glazed over the numbers the black mages use to identify themselves. But once you know to look for it, it's incredibly obvious.
Number 56, the one mourning his friend, is a Type-A, unadorned and with a floppy hat. So are 32 (first synthesis shopkeeper), and 33 (tries to keep the egg away from Quina). Numbers 192 (second synthesis shopkeeper), 163 (shopkeeper), 111 (also tries to keep the egg from Quina) and 144 (gives advice at the end) are Type-B, with the pointier hat and gold studdings. Numbers 234 (innkeeper), 239 (weapons shopkeeper), and 288 (the wise one) are all Type-C black mages.
The numbers are sequential — literally serial numbers. And they're divided between doll types: The Type-As come first in number, Type-Bs come second, Type-Cs come later. The Type-As generally show less overt intelligence, the Type-Cs more (they're socially anxious, but skillful), though this is a very vague presentation. That's not the real issue, though.
The one named black mage of the seven who died is Number 36, a Type-A. Part of the first production run. All these mages were created sequentially. So 32, 33, and 56 are the oldest ones and the ones closest reaching their functional limit. 288 is the oldest one, but also the most intellectually advanced one and most aware of the mortality catching up to them. All of them have a lifespan of about a year, with variance (36 died before 32 and 33, after all).
If Vivi is an experimental prototype… If he predates even the Type-As.
Then he's older than some of the Type-As that have already died. And the black mage village has given no indication that he is anything other than a unique prototype that happened to awaken, the same as every other black mage in the village.
"Isn't it the same for you? Traveling with your friends gives your life meaning."
Vivi is a child, and he's dying. As far as he knows, he has maybe weeks to live. And he has chosen to keep that a secret, and spend his last moments with his friends, until he just…
He calls the Kirkboat the "symbol of Conde Petie," and uses the term "Kirkboat," but has no concept of what a "boat" as a standalone word is. So they either never used that vessel to sail, or it's been so long ago they have lost any cultural memory of its use as such.
Kirk, meaning church, is in a lot of Scottish place names, so I'd wager it's their church, even if they don't know what the boat part is. That's probably why they'd go there to get married.
I don't know what a "Kirkboat" is, but it's definitely that weird blue vessel-shaped thing at the center of the atrium. But when we ask another dwarf about it, he has a very odd response: He doesn't know what a boat is.
More and more it's seeming like Vivi was just just another Black Mage doll, likely an experimental prototype (hence his being a child) which happened to awaken to consciousness one day. No different from any of these. But, of course, these black mages are living fine, peaceful lives, so perhaps it's fine if he's a doll… Right?
Which leaves me with one weird question: Who the hell is Barbara Gibgab? She appears to be a kind of gossip, making fun of Walter's son, and then suggesting (in an odd bit of open-mindedness but a worrying approach to consent) suggesting he might as well marry the foreign visitor. But that doesn't tell us anything about her job; I've searched "Gibgab" online and the only results are either modern company names that are clearly just syllables mashed together, or different names like "jibjab."
Gibgab isn't a common word but I have heard it before to mean endless conversation on light or meaningless topics. Pretty good name for the town gossip.
Okay so I guess every Qu Marsh in the world is some kind of gestalt location with multiple sites across the world that all magically overlap so that every Qu Marsh is one singular Qu Marsh no matter where you access it from, either that or Quale can just fucking teleport and never brought it up, we could have just gotten space-swapped to the Outer Continent instead of going through Fossil Roo–
It doesn't matter. There's no in-game explanation. The Qu Marsh is just there for Quina to be able to take part in the frog-eating game, and Quale is the one handing out frog game rewards so he needs to manifest at any Qu Marsh. He doesn't actually have any story-relevant dialogue and we can't find his house in the Marsh, the only thing there is the frog minigame.
But if we did wish to provide an in-character reason the only reasonable explanation is that Zidane leaves Quina alone when they do the frog minigame, so Quale dropped by, explained nothing, Quina is so spaced out that they don't ask because they don't care and they never even think to mention Quale being there to Zidane, which is. Hilarious.
Anyway that's it for the marsh, let's head back to the overworld.
Approaching the sign tells us, "this road leads to a dead end." This doesn't appear to differ based on which sign we read, though? So I decide to pick a random road out of the two and…
…end up right where I started.
The game plays this classic trick in which a character leaves through one side of the screen and comes out of the other, indicating an endless loop that always leads us back to where we started one way or the other. This is likely a puzzle of some kind, but right now I have no hints as to how to beat it, so I simply leave.
Smh Omi, not even brute-forcing the puzzle just because you can (considering the story beats leading to it, wouldn't be surprised if it's impossible to brute force at this point)
Conde Petie, uh. I have no idea what that means. According to Wikipedia, "conde" is the duty of guiding a ship, which is an incredibly weird word to be using for a building. "Petie" might be a deformation of French "petit" (little), which would make sense since we already have Roo/Rue. "The small duty of leading a ship"? That doesn't seem to mean anything.
my first thought with a giant statue/building and "meant to guide ships" is a primitive lighthouse of some kind, myself. Dunno how close Conde Petie is to the ocean to perform that function on the world map though.
They call him The Man With No Game. Incredible stuff. I love the way Quina leaves first, then Dagger after burning Zidane, and his recovery move fails so pathetically that he and Vivi just stare at each other in silence then Vivi just. Leaves without a word. That man wrecked himself so desperately no words of support could ever help. He's finished.
I really am loving Zidane as a protagonist, not gonna lie. Not that I disliked Cloud or Squall at all, but Zidane being this happy go lucky dork is a fun turn after the last two.
Our closest look at dwarven anatomy so far, and rather interesting. They all have extreme mandibular prognathism (underbites), with very long, very pronounced chins; their heads are very large proportionate to their bodies, their arms long, their legs very short, and they have stocky builds. In addition to green skin, some display green hair. Their style of attire reminds me of some kinds of Native-American fabric, which I feel I also recognize in some of their architecture?
They're Scottish Native-American dwarves with Hapsburg's jaws. What a combo.
This was certainly one of the more interesting spreads of ATEs we got in the game. Interspersed with Zidane's own exploration and dialogue that we'll see more about in the moment, they do a really good job of offering quick hints of characterization, worldbuilding, and giving us a broader view of this new place we knew nothing about walking in. The fact that the group scatters and has their own little adventures each on their side (and we can find some of them and talk to them in between ATEs) really does a great job at conveying that these are individual people with their own tastes and interests, having their little side-story. None of it is massively consequential, but, well, it's what FF8 desperately needed with its cast of Balamb Garden students struggling to establish themselves as having a compelling inner life. It's almost enough to make me say the ATE system was a good idea compared to the old-fashioned "just use normal splitaway cutscene."
…except that there is an extra ATE which I missed, "Quina Can't Communicate," which is supposed to follow up on "Quina Accused" and which I missed entirely because I didn't move through Conde Petie and the ATE sequences in exactly the right order.
At the store, Zidane asks a dwarf how come there's no Mist here, and the dwarf has no idea what Mist is.
Which suggests one of two things: 1) this place has never known Mist, because it's unique to the Mist Continent, or 2) this place has known Mist, but it was so far into its past the dwarves retain no cultural memory of it.
I mean, also possible that they just have a different name entirely for Mist and Zidane's supposed to call it "Fog" or something. Pretty unlikely though.
It is extremely funny that the specific way the group scatters both times it does in this update is in the form of Zidane starting to say "So I think we should–" and everyone just breaking off without listening to him and scattering while he just stands there like a dumbass.
It's strangely fitting that it's the game in which the (otherwise quite competent!) lead protag doesn't command any respect from his party that introduces "party breaks up when entering into town without listening to instructions" as a regular beat. Say what you will about Squall, he ran a tighter ship than this.
Squall does come from a military academy and all your party members but one are also military supersoldiers, to be fair. Meanwhile, Zidane is leading a ragtag band ranging from a literal princess, to some kind of child black magic prodigy doll, to... whatever Quina qualifies as.
No, I don't just mean the black mages being confronted with death. I mean also… I was wrong. My whole set of assumptions leading up to this was wrong. What I thought we'd discover here was a secret, ancient Black Mage Village, the original "awakened" black mages of which the modern dolls are mere 'mindless' copies (though of course we know they aren't truly mindless, see the way they protected Vivi from the Black Waltz). That this village would contain answers about Vivi's origins, why he was different from the automata versions of the black mages, that they feared humans because of a wrong done in the past.
But… No.
These are all simply Alexandrian refugees. Black Mage dolls, fresh off the factory line, which awakened and sought escape from war, from being used, from being led to a death they didn't even understand.
It's certainly a bit of a rug pull, isn't it? Early on, there was the thought of "oh Vivi is a Black Mage and that's a race/profession that's known" because of how much respect Steiner was showing him as a mage, so you'd maybe assume that the artificial Black Mages are based on or created from these other Black Mages somehow. Instead, we got it the other way around - escaped artificial Black Mages who are trying to build their own little society, and... well, not doing the greatest job at it to be honest, probably not helped by the fact that it's barely a year old if that and they have such limited lifespans. Practically a village of children, as you said.
That they all ended up drawn to this place is odd. It's also…
…well, this whole thing is, to me, a really compelling plot beat, with some really fascinating character elements. You just have to, uh.
Not think about the timeline. Don't think about the timeline in FF9. Just never do it. Everything takes three days except for the parts that only make sense if three months happened while we were traveling until the next part that implies all of this took a week at most.
The black mage dolls awakened during one of the Alexandrian attacks we've seen, then ran through the Mist, to the shore, across the ocean (with what ships!?), sailed all the way to the Outer Continent, traveled all across the dead forest, found this place, built a village, wove an illusory enchantment to hide it, then reached out to the dwarves and started establishing relations with them and trading with them. All in the space of… How much time? Let's just not think about it.
The deeper we get into actually analyzing FFIX, the more it becomes clear that the timeline is just a *wee* bit fucky, huh? Heck, on top of this with the Black Mages mentioning later that it's about a one year lifespan for them, that presumably means they've been in production for at least that long, and I guess... Idunno, were just being used to wipe out nameless villages we never encountered on the Mist Continent???
I genuinely cannot tell whether Zidane in this scene is talking over Vivi because he gets that Vivi is having some Big Feelings he hasn't had time to process, so "he's tired" is meant to distract Dagger and spare Vivi having to explain how he feels to Dagger or having to dodge the question, or if it's just Zidane being thoughtless and assuming he Gets Vivi even when he doesn't as fit his awkward big brother role, like in Dali village when he assumed Vivi was thinking about girls.
MOONSPIRACY!!! THE MOONSPIRACY IS REAL!!! THERE'S A BIG FAT PURPLE MOON AND ZIDANE COMES FROM THERE!!! HE'S A MOON ALIEN!!! WHY ELSE WOULD YOU HAVE THE CAMERA FRAME THE MOON DIRECTLY AS ORPHAN ZIDANE STARTS TALKING ABOUT HOME AND BELONGING, THIS WILL NOT BE LIKE FINAL FANTASY VIII, I WILL NOT BE DENIED MY MOONSPIRACY THIS TIME-
If Vivi is an experimental prototype… If he predates even the Type-As.
Then he's older than some of the Type-As that have already died. And the black mage village has given no indication that he is anything other than a unique prototype that happened to awaken, the same as every other black mage in the village.
"Isn't it the same for you? Traveling with your friends gives your life meaning."
Vivi is a child, and he's dying. As far as he knows, he has maybe weeks to live. And he has chosen to keep that a secret, and spend his last moments with his friends, until he just…
