Let’s Verb Noun! Now Verbing Nekopara!

[NothingNow]

Alright, it's Purim when I'm starting this, I have more than enough beer and vodka and cranberry to make this tolerable, and I've depleted my curse reserves so I need to recharge lest my productivity drop again. So let's fucking do this.

We open at Chocola and Vanilla inviting the last customer of the night to come again. When they get back up to the place, Cacao is waiting for them at the door. So she gets pets for being a good girl of waiting for them. Which leads to the two of them reminiscing, and deciding they should try and get headpats.

When their master returns however, he just kinda blows them off because he's exhausted and has to make dinner.

And then we get the credits.

At dinner they're complementing the food, and whatshisface is just out of it. Incidentally, Cacao has a little child spoon for her rice. Chocola is the one most visibly put out by this, while Cacao is just sort of sitting there eating, and is just absolutely stoked by the rice.

that's the face you put on when mom and mom and dad are having relationship troubles and you just want to eat and not say anything because it's fucking tense enough already.

Anyway, after that he just gets up in the middle of dinner, and finishes eating.

In their bedroom Chocola complains about how he didn't talk at all during dinner while Vanilla brushes her hair, and Cacao just sort of watches as she does. Vanilla thinks it's related to the shop maybe not doing so great, and so she presses her twin for information. Which is mostly just like sampling the cream filling for stuff and breaking a ton of plates and cups.
Which is punished with whatever the fuck this is:


Incidentally I think doing this while lit is maybe not the best idea so I'm going to nap for a bit.
And back.

Cacao just sort of watches, because that's all she does.

Either way, punishment aside, we get some indications of stuff (dude might be working on a recipe) but Vanilla is assuming it's financial because it was a slow business day. Chocola doesn't get what financially means. So Vanilla tells her they'll just get less food, and Chocola freaks out. Vanilla then reassures Cacao, and says they'll just have to work it out.

So the next day they're out raising awareness for the shop by handing out shop cards/flyers. Also Cacao is there because apparently you just have to be with a human or someone with a bell to be outside. This goes well and then Cinnamon and Maple show up.

Chocola catches the two of them up in an Alley. Then pisscat has another fucking daydream and talks about getting moist while Maple is typing on her phone and ignoring Cinnamon(the correct decision.)


At some later point, the shop is just slammed thanks to Maple posting stuff on twitter. So we get a lot of shots of everyone posing for photos (which Chocola does poorly.) In back whatshisface is working super hard while Cacao just stares.

You'd think this is an in-between, and you'd be wrong.

So trying to help, Cacao runs outside by herself to hand out more shop cards. Which goes poorly because she's probably got some sort of selective mutism or is otherwise just an abnormally quiet child. After seeing someone else distribute flyers, she then goes around putting them in every mailbox. This is also the second time in the series that a problem would be resolved or prevented by putting a tracking anklet on Cacao. Or having kitten daycare.

Finally the inevitable happens and she gets lost in a housing complex and collides with a small child with a cat purse. Who is also the girl from the OP. Anyway, the girl (Chiyo) feeds her some Taiyaki, and Cacao likes it. She manages to get out of Cacao that she's lost, and nothing else.


The Koban is empty (probably because of staffing issues or someone sneaking out for lunch), and when Chiyo asks an adult, Cacao runs off and starts crossing the street by herself. Chiyo naturally chases after her.

Meanwhile Coconut and Azuki are getting ice cream from a convenience store for Kashou (which is apparently whatshisface's name, and I'll probably immediately forget it.) This escalates to another Azuki/Coconut fight as Cacao walks by.

Finally Cacao ends up at another pastry shop where she looks forlorn, but Chiyo figures out a clue. Cacao lives at a cake shop.

So they hit every cake shop they can find and it's close to sunset. And then they get lost and a murder of completely normal crows shows up, scaring both of them.


And if it weren't for Chiyo's shiny hair ornament they would've gotten away too. Leading to the dumbest fucking chase scene until Cacao fights them off when they get cornered.

And then Cacao says she wants Taiyaki. And then they end up back at the park with the Taiyaki cart.

And then Chiyo reminisces about her grandmother's cat. Who she was attached to and had to leave when her family moved because of work.

So Cacao licks her and then tells Chiyo that her name is Cacao, and thanks her. And finally the business card falls out of her hat.

Right as Kashou asks them what the pictures on social media were, and the whole thing is revealed as the dude running into a creative block. Either way, the problem's solved and he's got a new seasonal cake, and Vanilla and Chocola get headpats.

He speaks French, so why is he fucking his cats instead of being the most eligible bachelor in the local pastry world?

Front of house, everyone else thinks Cacao ran off.

Right up until she was in the living room waiting for them, and everyone hugs while Vanilla says Chocola worries too much. And that's the end of the episode.

Also today's end card was Vanilla, Chocola and Cacao in the bath.

 

[Spectral Waltz]

This show is sort of sad... I honestly don't know how to feel about this.

 

[NottheCrabs!]

This show is sort of sad... I honestly don't know how to feel about this.

Click to shrink...

Anger is a good standby. Confusion too, but that loses its effectiveness as time wears on.

 

[NothingNow]

Today we start off with bath time in the Minaduki household, where Shigure is trying to soak while Maple is holding her breath underwater and Coconut and Azuki do their usual thing.

At the shop Chocola is selling some cake to a woman who brought her child in while Cacao watches, and it turns out it's Chiyo's mother. So they wave.

Then there's a crash, as Azuki or Coconut ran into the other and knocked Azuki over who broke some plates. So those two start fighting again while everyone else looks on.

And then thankfully the credits begin. Shiny Happy Days is actually kinda decent as far as harem opening go tbh. I think it's the beat.

After the credits it's dinner time and Azuki is complaining about Coconut despite the much larger cat being right next to her. Coconut naturally responds and the two of them get into it again.

Before anyone gets stabbed, Shigure tells them to knock it off because it's dinner, and then wonders where she went wrong with disciplining them. Meanwhile I'm quite drunk and eating goldfish because I got a giant box at Costco, while Cinnamon and Maple are reminiscing about when Coconut was a wee kitten and how she would be all over Azuki.

After dinner Coconut does the dishes while saying Azuki should act more adult, because she's the eldest cat. When jumps up to lean off the half-wall and ask why Coconut is doing the dishes when it's not her turn. Azuki tells her to stop going out of her way, but Coconut says she wants to, and then Azuki compliments her for not fucking this up. Then Coconut drops Azuki's rice bowl.


Azuki is mad, Coconut is apologetic, and goes to pick stuff up. Azuki of course yells at her to stop and grabs the broom and dustpan to clean it up. So Coconut gets mad and runs off.

At the shop Chocola and Cacao are trying to untangle some ribbons while Vanilla is just sitting at the counter bored out of her mind. Azuki is in the back moving boxes when she picked up way too much. Anyway, since she can't see in front of her she trips on the mop Coconut is using and falls, dropping the boxes. And they argue while Vanilla and Cacao look on. Chocola would but she got tangled up in the ribbon. Disappointingly for a show that's supposed to be stupidly horny it's not even a kinky position. Vanilla thinks it's cute though.

But on the subject of Azuki and Coconut, Vanilla thinks they should just go all the way already. Which Shigure thinks is a great idea at an all paws on deck family meeting. But not fighting. Instead it's sports.


And so five minutes into the sports day episode we're just getting to the actual sports. Incidentally nobody actually looks into it aside from Coconut, Azuki and Shigure. Who is in something other than a kimono for a change. God in the games, this would've been a great bit to make an Ultimate Surrender joke or something. It's certainly weird enough and horny enough.

But after some smack talk we're at the break.
The first game is twister, Azuki versus Coconut. Do I really have to describe this?

…Right, I do.

So it starts with Coconut going to right hand blue and Azuki right foot yellow.
Then Coconut goes left foot red while Azuki goes left hand green.
Chocola and Vanilla helpfully explain the rules to a bored looking Cacao (but she's always bored,) and the audience who might be unfamiliar with the rules of twister for some reason.
Anyway, back on the mat, and Coconut's superior size has let her sprawl over Azuki. Cinnamon and Maple even comment on it, and Azuki tells them off for it.
While reaching for something Azuki's tail tickles Coconut. Which makes her fall and pins Azuki underneath.


Shigure got way too into this.

Anyway the prize for round two is some thousand yen a can wet catfood. Really missed a chance for a dragon ball joke there, but it's not one that was big in Japan. Anyway, it's Chocola and Vanilla up this time. In a food resisting contest.


In round three Cinnamon and Maple bust into a box as cats do, and just completely ignore the game of What's In The Box and just cuddle.

Round four is a spoon relay. With a pingpong ball on the spoon. Shigure has a signal pistol, and this spooks the Cacao. Everything goes fine for the red team, while Blue is saved thanks to Cinnamon Tiddy when Vanilla trips on a rock. Also Azuki is coordinated enough to yeet the ball into the air and catch it with the spoon in her mouth before out running Coconut. And then they run. And start arguing before they hit the finish line.

Vanilla then says it's something dumb and both of them drop their spoons to talk.

…This disqualifies both of them.

In round five Cacao is no longer holding up the cards, but has fallen asleep on the engawa. Also it's pond sumo between Cinnamon and Chocola. Also Shigure is now dressed as and doing a pretty good impression of a Gyōji.


Also it's actually butt sumo. So we get lots of discussion of and shots of butts. Cinnamons buns are like a peach, while Chocola has supple plums and I don't even fucking know what's going on with that.

Thankfully this sets Cinnamon off, so Chocola takes the opportunity to butt bump her out of the ring.

And then it's Vanilla versus Coconut.
Coconut has a massive overwhelming advantage, so Vanilla tells her a riddle, and gets Coconut to fall in of her own accord.

Finally we're at Azuki versus Maple, and it's relentless. It's also got the commentary and side talk of a battle anime. Right until Azuki launches a powerful uppercut and yeets herself out of the ring.

By the end of the day Chocola has to be reminded what this was all about, and Vanilla reminds her while Cacao is asleep on her lap. Meanwhile Azuki and Coconut are still fighting and still making those absolutely hilarious cat moans.

So Shigure decides as the sun is setting that the next game will be the last. And it is:


…A Cat tower race. First to the end wins. Vanilla and Maple are in suits and providing commentary.


The first real challenge is that the wall is made entirely out of scratching post material, which naturally delays the cats.

The next challenge is the cat feather bridge, which honestly is the exact sort of content I've been hoping for from this series since episode one.


Anyway then there's the climbing part, and Coconut does a really dumb thing by jumping from cat tower to cat tower. And she slips, so Azuki catches her.

After that Coconut thanks Azuki for letting her y'know not die, and Azuki says she's always making extra work for her. And we get flashbacks.

And finally Coconut figures out why Azuki is so short with her some times. And thus they burry the hatchet for now. Down to coconut calling Azuki oneechan, which embarrasses them both.

The next day, they leave work early to go bowl shopping. Which starts an argument over a cat bowl.


Being a Coconut and Azuki episode we also get a very horny Coconut and Azuki end card.

 

[NothingNow]

I'll be honest, everything about this series so far was worth it for the cat tower race. Every sin, every trespass against god and man, all of it.

Just for that stupid cat tower race.

 

[Ameraaaaaa]

Reading the review just gave me an existential crisis. Like how did i end up here.

Cacao just sort of watches, because that's all she does.

Click to shrink...

Hey! She eats too!

 

[Spectral Waltz]

This show is sort of like the sensation of expecting a train crash, but instead all you get is the trains going by.

All of them are slightly off schedule and some of them have pinups spray painted on the side, but there's no actual collision.

It's this weird feeling of melancholy disappointment.

 

[NothingNow]

Reading the review just gave me an existential crisis. Like how did i end up here.

Click to shrink...

It's probably just ennui. I'm even getting it.

This show is sort of like the sensation of expecting a train crash, but instead all you get is the trains going by.

All of them are slightly off schedule and some of them have pinups spray painted on the side, but there's no actual collision.

It's this weird feeling of melancholy disappointment.

Click to shrink...

Yeah it's just not anything. It could've been much better or much worse, but like they managed to avoid the rocks of leaning into the whole situation with Cacao while also avoiding the whirlpool of ecchi shenanigans. Like in that entire episode, there wasn't a single bouncing breast I could see. Despite this being like the perfect excuse. It'd actually be impressive if it didn't like completely miss what the series was selling itself on.

 

[NothingNow]

So we start this episode off in the middle of some bitch-ass rainstorm that would maybe get me to put a coat on, at the house. Naturally, everyone is inside playing cards.

After the credits, we see everyone at the house preparing for a typhoon I think, running stuff inside, taping up windows, et cetera. Meanwhile, what's his face is off buying strawberries.

Anyway, as Coconut goes around taping up windows (don't do this, just put up plywood or buy fucking storm-rated stuff) Chocola, Vanilla and Cacao are running potted plants inside where they won't get hurt. Then Maple and Azuki return from the store with a ton of croquettes. So many croquettes. Too many croquettes.

And then Coconut falls through a window. Which shatters even though the tape holds.

Seriously, take it from a Floridian, this is why you put shutters up or something. Tape does fuck all for most windows.

Meanwhile, on a Shinkansen, Kashou is nice and dry and eating a bento that has a couple of cat shaped rice balls in it, as he worries about his cats, and hopes they aren't getting blown away or anything. And then the train (a Tokyo-Nagoya train) stops because of the wind.

Back at the house, Cinnamon, Maple and Azuki are watching the news as Azuki eats a croquette. Azuki finds storms to be interesting, while May doesn't like how they interrupt her sunbathing. Cinnamon is worried about Shigure, who is at a meetup for her online cat lovers group. Shigure is also running a bit late, but should be fine because she's taking a car.

Meanwhile, Cacao, Chocola, Vanilla and Coconut are playing some card game. In which a joker is getting passed around and there's a pile of discarded cards. And then Coconut wins the round.

Then Shigure calls from a cab, and says traffic is horrible and she maybe won't make it home tonight. Turns out she's late because her group got too excited talking about cats. Maple says they're fine, so she should just find a hotel room.

While Maple breaks this to everyone else, Coconut accidentally sets Cinnamon off. Everyone ignores her except Cinnamon.

Then Azuki has to play an adult as everyone else is a fucking idiot. Vanilla wants to go check on the Ocean (if you're not Jim Cantore, don't do this,) while Coconut wants to get a pizza. Which Chocola also wants, right before the power goes out.

Cinnamon gets set off, Chocola rushes to check on Cacao before she runs into a pillar. And then Vanilla finds a flashlight. And spooks Coconut and Azuki. Chocola misses a metaphor and thinks hearts can pop out. Also this wakes up Cacao, who had previously been sleeping through all of this like a sane person.

Finally someone finds a candle, and Cacao has a traditional toy, and everyone is just sitting around this room with the light of a single solitary candle. So Azuki complains that she's bored, and someone suggests playing Shiritori, before Cinnamon suggests riddles. Chocola says no, because she's bad at riddles. So Vanilla says it's story time. Which gets everyone interested.

This better not be a setup for a fucking clip show.

And it isn't. So it's a long long time ago there were two cats, (here played by Maple and Cinnamon) walking when they run into a bunch of other cats having a party in the forest. Getting fucked up on Matatabi Juice. And then they wake up, everyone's gone and there's just a well.

Which Shigure comes out of, before ominously counting fried tofu that she throws down.


Maple thinks she was one of the cats at the party, (because she got really fucked up last night) right up until Shigure turns around and doesn't have a face. Maple tries to wake Cinnamon up, but that doesn't work so she has to carry her out of the forrest.

And then Cinnamon doesn't have a face, and that's it.

And then out of the story Vanilla looks up and doesn't have a face.


Which scares everyone and I think Cinnamon peed a bit, but it's just makeup. Which scares everyone, as does the idea that she wants to tell 100 scary stories to summon ghosts and ghouls.

It also scares the lights back on, and Chocola says she'll tell a happy story. Right before we get to a break, and the cards for that break are Alice in Wonderland themed, because we're a kinda lazy anime doing a bunch of shorts so of course we are, and Cinderella.

Cheshire Cat footie pajamas are apparently something I didn't know I needed in my life until now, but god they're cute.

But back to Chocola's story. Two sisters played by Vanilla and Chocola are going out on a picnic, (Vanilla interjects that she's very interested now) when they get lost in the forest. They can't find the way home, but instead find a gingerbread house, and oh look it's Hansel and Gretel.

They proceed to eat the place.


And they just sort of squat there and eat it and it's happily ever after because Chocola wants to stop there.

May and Cinnamon are just confused now. As is everyone else. So Vanilla continues.

A few days go by, and Chocola returns from her day as a Salarycat, while Vanilla makes a nice chocolate fondue from the trim and slices some cake somewhere, in what is honestly more and more honest LGBT representation than Disney can manage.

Chocola complains about work, and Vanilla offers her the newlywed Japanese housewife's three traditional options.

So at what point does this just become text? Because this is well past that point.

Azuki is having none of this, and Coconut agrees with her that it's not a fairy tale anymore. Cinnamon is of course into it, and is sad because it was getting to the good part (and she is not yet moist.)

So Vanilla switches to The Tale of Princess Kaguya, except the Bamboo Cutter (Coconut) releases that ghost Shigure from earlier instead. And then there's the one about the guy who spent time in the dragon palace and died because he opened the box, only it's once again Ghost Shigure.

So Maple decides she'll tell a story instead. Which involves Vanilla as a lumberjack, who accidentally yeets her axe into a lake. …And outcome a ghastly woman with an axe in her head (because Vanilla just loves that bit.)

Back to Maple's version, out comes a goddess (Cinnamon) who offers a golden axe and a silver axe. Vanilla says both, and surprises said goddess. Vanilla is very insistent it's both. And threatens to drain the lake if she doesn't hand them over. As payment she'll let the goddess read her fantasy diary about the intimate activities between her sister and herself.

…This works, and the goddess is Moist. In gratitude she gives over both.

In reality, Cinnamon insists she's not a pervert (nobody believes this.)

So Coconut tries, and it's a story about three cats (Azuki, Cinnamon and Chocola) finding a magic lamp in the road (where Kashou is the genie.) I think it's supposed to be Aladdin or something, but it's just really lazy.

Anyway, each of them gets a wish. Chocola wants to eat a really big fish, so Kashou summons a shark, which pursues Chocola. Cinnamon's wish is censored, and well.


And then story Azuki wakes up in Lilliput. Where Maple is the princess, and Vanilla and Chocola are soldiers. When Vanilla asks for guidance, she suggests hanging, burning or peeling off each of her toenails. Of course before she can finish that, Azuki breaks free and goes on a rampage, smashing shit because she's big now. Which includes fire-breath for some reason.


Azuki asks what the fuck was up with that, and Coconut responds that she couldn't let the Genie grant Azuki a wish. Azuki does want to get bigger, but not Kaiju bigger.

And then Maple tells the little match girl, with Cinnamon as the match girl. Who just sees increasingly perverse things in the matches before freezing to death (while moist.)

Then Azuki tells Snow White and the Six Catgirls, where Maple is Snow White, the rest of the cats are the dwarves, and Cinnamon thinks she can be awoken by a kiss from a loved one. Coconut goes first, and before she can seal the deal, the power goes out again.

And then there's the sound of someone walking through the house, which scares the cats. Who think it's Vanilla only she's right there. And then the door slides open and it's


Needless to say the cats freak, and Shigure is just tired and completely soaked because she walked home rather than spend the night without her cats. Who have, aside from Vanilla and Cacao, passed out from the shock to her surprise.

And that's it. Aside from the shitty storm prep, kind of an okay episode for something where the writing team just couldn't keep the momentum up for any one idea for very long it feels like. I do still have to wonder what the fuck is up with Japan's whole thing about the Little Match Girl and Alice in Wonderland of all things, since I've seen stuff from the seventies and 80s with it and it just shows up everywhere it feels like.

 

[Ameraaaaaa]

So we start this episode off in the middle of some bitch-ass rainstorm that would maybe get me to put a coat on, at the house. Naturally, everyone is inside playing cards.

After the credits, we see everyone at the house preparing for a typhoon I think, running stuff inside, taping up windows, et cetera. Meanwhile, what's his face is off buying strawberries.

Anyway, as Coconut goes around taping up windows (don't do this, just put up plywood or buy fucking storm-rated stuff) Chocola, Vanilla and Cacao are running potted plants inside where they won't get hurt. Then Maple and Azuki return from the store with a ton of croquettes. So many croquettes. Too many croquettes.

And then Coconut falls through a window. Which shatters even though the tape holds.

Seriously, take it from a Floridian, this is why you put shutters up or something. Tape does fuck all for most windows.

Meanwhile, on a Shinkansen, Kashou is nice and dry and eating a bento that has a couple of cat shaped rice balls in it, as he worries about his cats, and hopes they aren't getting blown away or anything. And then the train (a Tokyo-Nagoya train) stops because of the wind.

Back at the house, Cinnamon, Maple and Azuki are watching the news as Azuki eats a croquette. Azuki finds storms to be interesting, while May doesn't like how they interrupt her sunbathing. Cinnamon is worried about Shigure, who is at a meetup for her online cat lovers group. Shigure is also running a bit late, but should be fine because she's taking a car.

Meanwhile, Cacao, Chocola, Vanilla and Coconut are playing some card game. In which a joker is getting passed around and there's a pile of discarded cards. And then Coconut wins the round.

Then Shigure calls from a cab, and says traffic is horrible and she maybe won't make it home tonight. Turns out she's late because her group got too excited talking about cats. Maple says they're fine, so she should just find a hotel room.

While Maple breaks this to everyone else, Coconut accidentally sets Cinnamon off. Everyone ignores her except Cinnamon.

Then Azuki has to play an adult as everyone else is a fucking idiot. Vanilla wants to go check on the Ocean (if you're not Jim Cantore, don't do this,) while Coconut wants to get a pizza. Which Chocola also wants, right before the power goes out.

Cinnamon gets set off, Chocola rushes to check on Cacao before she runs into a pillar. And then Vanilla finds a flashlight. And spooks Coconut and Azuki. Chocola misses a metaphor and thinks hearts can pop out. Also this wakes up Cacao, who had previously been sleeping through all of this like a sane person.

Finally someone finds a candle, and Cacao has a traditional toy, and everyone is just sitting around this room with the light of a single solitary candle. So Azuki complains that she's bored, and someone suggests playing Shiritori, before Cinnamon suggests riddles. Chocola says no, because she's bad at riddles. So Vanilla says it's story time. Which gets everyone interested.

This better not be a setup for a fucking clip show.

And it isn't. So it's a long long time ago there were two cats, (here played by Maple and Cinnamon) walking when they run into a bunch of other cats having a party in the forest. Getting fucked up on Matatabi Juice. And then they wake up, everyone's gone and there's just a well.

Which Shigure comes out of, before ominously counting fried tofu that she throws down.


Maple thinks she was one of the cats at the party, (because she got really fucked up last night) right up until Shigure turns around and doesn't have a face. Maple tries to wake Cinnamon up, but that doesn't work so she has to carry her out of the forrest.

And then Cinnamon doesn't have a face, and that's it.

And then out of the story Vanilla looks up and doesn't have a face.


Which scares everyone and I think Cinnamon peed a bit, but it's just makeup. Which scares everyone, as does the idea that she wants to tell 100 scary stories to summon ghosts and ghouls.

It also scares the lights back on, and Chocola says she'll tell a happy story. Right before we get to a break, and the cards for that break are Alice in Wonderland themed, because we're a kinda lazy anime doing a bunch of shorts so of course we are, and Cinderella.

Cheshire Cat footie pajamas are apparently something I didn't know I needed in my life until now, but god they're cute.

But back to Chocola's story. Two sisters played by Vanilla and Chocola are going out on a picnic, (Vanilla interjects that she's very interested now) when they get lost in the forest. They can't find the way home, but instead find a gingerbread house, and oh look it's Hansel and Gretel.

They proceed to eat the place.


And they just sort of squat there and eat it and it's happily ever after because Chocola wants to stop there.

May and Cinnamon are just confused now. As is everyone else. So Vanilla continues.

A few days go by, and Chocola returns from her day as a Salarycat, while Vanilla makes a nice chocolate fondue from the trim and slices some cake somewhere, in what is honestly more and more honest LGBT representation than Disney can manage.

Chocola complains about work, and Vanilla offers her the newlywed Japanese housewife's three traditional options.

So at what point does this just become text? Because this is well past that point.

Azuki is having none of this, and Coconut agrees with her that it's not a fairy tale anymore. Cinnamon is of course into it, and is sad because it was getting to the good part (and she is not yet moist.)

So Vanilla switches to The Tale of Princess Kaguya, except the Bamboo Cutter (Coconut) releases that ghost Shigure from earlier instead. And then there's the one about the guy who spent time in the dragon palace and died because he opened the box, only it's once again Ghost Shigure.

So Maple decides she'll tell a story instead. Which involves Vanilla as a lumberjack, who accidentally yeets her axe into a lake. …And outcome a ghastly woman with an axe in her head (because Vanilla just loves that bit.)

Back to Maple's version, out comes a goddess (Cinnamon) who offers a golden axe and a silver axe. Vanilla says both, and surprises said goddess. Vanilla is very insistent it's both. And threatens to drain the lake if she doesn't hand them over. As payment she'll let the goddess read her fantasy diary about the intimate activities between her sister and herself.

…This works, and the goddess is Moist. In gratitude she gives over both.

In reality, Cinnamon insists she's not a pervert (nobody believes this.)

So Coconut tries, and it's a story about three cats (Azuki, Cinnamon and Chocola) finding a magic lamp in the road (where Kashou is the genie.) I think it's supposed to be Aladdin or something, but it's just really lazy.

Anyway, each of them gets a wish. Chocola wants to eat a really big fish, so Kashou summons a shark, which pursues Chocola. Cinnamon's wish is censored, and well.


And then story Azuki wakes up in Lilliput. Where Maple is the princess, and Vanilla and Chocola are soldiers. When Vanilla asks for guidance, she suggests hanging, burning or peeling off each of her toenails. Of course before she can finish that, Azuki breaks free and goes on a rampage, smashing shit because she's big now. Which includes fire-breath for some reason.


Azuki asks what the fuck was up with that, and Coconut responds that she couldn't let the Genie grant Azuki a wish. Azuki does want to get bigger, but not Kaiju bigger.

And then Maple tells the little match girl, with Cinnamon as the match girl. Who just sees increasingly perverse things in the matches before freezing to death (while moist.)

Then Azuki tells Snow White and the Six Catgirls, where Maple is Snow White, the rest of the cats are the dwarves, and Cinnamon thinks she can be awoken by a kiss from a loved one. Coconut goes first, and before she can seal the deal, the power goes out again.

And then there's the sound of someone walking through the house, which scares the cats. Who think it's Vanilla only she's right there. And then the door slides open and it's


Needless to say the cats freak, and Shigure is just tired and completely soaked because she walked home rather than spend the night without her cats. Who have, aside from Vanilla and Cacao, passed out from the shock to her surprise.

And that's it. Aside from the shitty storm prep, kind of an okay episode for something where the writing team just couldn't keep the momentum up for any one idea for very long it feels like. I do still have to wonder what the fuck is up with Japan's whole thing about the Little Match Girl and Alice in Wonderland of all things, since I've seen stuff from the seventies and 80s with it and it just shows up everywhere it feels like.

Click to shrink...

Nani!? An ok episode! From nekopara!

 

[NothingNow]

Nani!? An ok episode! From nekopara!

Click to shrink...

For Nekopara, it's not even badly handled it's just there and disappointing and like most of my problems came from it including really dumb storm preparation stuff.

 

[NothingNow]

Episode 8 opens up with Coconut (dressed decently somehow,) asleep in a hammock on a pleasant night, while the wind chime sounds, and cuts through the other cats in the house sleeping. Finally we get to Shigure, who just can't sleep.

The next morning Coconut is complaining about how she got ate up by mosquitoes. Azuki gives her shit, so she teases Azuki right back for the weird mark on her face left by a toy or something she hugged last night. They're about to fight when Maple breaks it up.

Anyway, with all four cats assembled, they notice that Shigure overslept on her day to cook. Finally she shows up, definitely out of whack and still massively overdressed for breakfast, in her usual kimono while everyone else is in their night clothes.

Also breakfast was destroyed. The fish is burnt, the miso is way too salty. So, after breakfast the cats are all concerned for her since she's just out of it. They think it's just the summer heat and exhaustion. So the cats pitch in to help lighten the load. Because they don't do chores that much or something.

Anyway, this goes south immediately because Shigure catches Cinnamon's tail with the vacuum while they're cleaning the engawa. It takes Shigure like a couple minutes to realize this. By which time Cinnamon got moist.


Then while hanging clothes up she misses out on accidentally putting Azuki's panties out to dry on the line while Coconut and Azuki come to help out with the laundry. Then it turns out that it was just a load of panties (probably a sensible thing in a household with five women but like keeping track of who wears what is probably an issue, since not everyone is as easy to remember as Azuki and her bear panties.)

To be honest they might be the only thing that actually fits Azuki, since she is 142cm and 69-50-72cm according to the wiki, which is like actually the size of a Japanese elementary schooler iirc, albeit with adult proportions.

So with everything failed the cats circle back to rethink things, and start talking about how they want her back to normal, even as Azuki and everyone else reminisce about how much of a sexual harasser she is.


And thus Azuki is happy with the new Shigure, Coconut is not and has gotten all fired up.

So they welcome her as a group when Shigure returns, and surprise her, and do the same at dinner by going all out (with only a few items described because this isn't written by GRRM, thankfully.) Which she's happy about even as she's not hungry. As she heads off to bed or wherever she tells them to enjoy it among themselves.

And so they do, as they again plan amongst themselves. Where in between bites of Mackerel Maple suggests that it's acute Kashou deficiency. And so we cut to a flashback of Shigure looking longingly and not at all platonically at a picture of her brother in a scene Texas Senator Ted Cruz is probably beating off to right this very minute, because people get weird during quarantine (ask me how I know.) And a bunch of other scenes of Shigure being way too attached to her older brother.


Somewhere out there, Ted Cruz eagerly awaits the launch of Nekopara Volume 4

Other scenes include Shigure in a school swimsuit getting ejected from the bathroom after trying to wash her brother's back and more.


After they're done looking back on everything, Azuki realizes maybe that isn't healthy. Even as Cinnamon notes that Kashou hasn't been home since the shop opened.

So the cats set up a plan to give them alone time. Which Vanilla and Chocola take as an excuse to dress her up in the uniform and make her work at the shop. Where she's disguised with a fake tail and a cat eat headband.

And thus she has energy. Incredibly awkward and clumsy waitress energy. It's adorable.


Anyway, she's having a bad time, and says how she's a shut-in by nature, so she's not suited to customer service positions. Right when her cats come by, and realize they might have fucked up. So they argue about what kind of ice cream to get to make her feel better.

Finally Kashou comes in and wonders why the fuck there's six cats arguing in his kitchen. So they just fucking tell him.

Meanwhile not in an incest hentai, Cacao is off delivering stuff to her friend.

Anyway, with the shop now closed, Shigure gets matcha roll cake from Kashou and chamomile tea because fucking Maple wants to knock her out or something. While the cats stay away so Shigure can absorb enough onii-chan energy by spending time with her brother alone.

And then he just asks, and Shigure says she doesn't know. She's just got this gloomy feeling all the time.

And then she changes into her kimono and leaves, still wearing the cat eat headband. Everyone sees she's doing better, but like she's not actually aware of her surroundings. So her cats stalk her as she wanders all the way out to Miura, and then to a cliff during a storm.

Cinnamon thinks it's a suicide attempt. So they all chase her to the edge of the cliff, and stage an intervention.

And so lighting flashes as they embrace, and Shigure just starts laughing maniacally before tripping and accidentally falling off a cliff, before Azuki, and then the rest catch her, and also fall off the cliff.

Cut back to the house and they're all alive.

Anyway, Shigure figured it out, and it's because the cats aren't snuggling up to her because of the heat like they do in the winter. So it was actually Acute Cat Deprivation. And so she thanks them for being concerned. Then they all agree to sleep together tonight. And they do, with Cinnamon saying something horrible again.


So with everything solved and everyone probably waking up in a sweaty pile the next day, the credits roll.

 

[NottheCrabs!]

This isn't even the funny kind of bad at this point, it's just banal.

 

[Salty]

In this episode: a guy's six cats tell him "dude, fuck your sister. It's for the greater good"

 

[NothingNow]

But yeah I basically burned my picture budget on the front half of that, but the back half of the episode wasn't more screenshot worthy.

it was just kinda there and not nearly as interesting as all the weird ways Shigure's deviancy makes itself apparent.

This isn't even the funny kind of bad at this point, it's just banal.

Click to shrink...

Yup.

 

[Spectral Waltz]

I'm sorry what.

 

[7734]

This whole show really just needs to find the brick and throw it on the accelerator for 'horny' and get it fucking over with.

 

[Ameraaaaaa]

Jostar! You thought it was cat girl hentai! When it was i! Insest!

 

[NothingNow]

"I'm at the catgirl anime"
"I'm at the catgirl anime next to the incest anime"
"I'm at the combination catgirl incest anime."

But seriously with role models like Shigure around, Chocola never stood a chance.
Also for some fucking reason seeing this show do the dinner a bath or me bit has me actually crack up every time. Though that also might be the social isolation, since I haven't actually spoken to another person offline casually in over a week.

also from this episode but I forgot it so I'll have to edit it in:

 

[Ameraaaaaa]

"I'm at the catgirl anime"
"I'm at the catgirl anime next to the incest anime"
"I'm at the combination catgirl incest anime."

But seriously with role models like Shigure around, Chocola never stood a chance.
Also for some fucking reason seeing this show do the dinner a bath or me bit has me actually crack up every time. Though that also might be the social isolation, since I haven't actually spoken to another person offline casually in over a week.

also from this episode but I forgot it so I'll have to edit it in:

Click to shrink...

Their not even hiding it at this point!

 

[7734]

Their not even hiding it at this point!

Click to shrink...

No, they're doing the locker room grabass you get when the "ewww gay" is still stronger than the inbuilt homoerotic behaviors of machismo. They're repressing it. Badly.

 

[Ameraaaaaa]

No, they're doing the locker room grabass you get when the "ewww gay" is still stronger than the inbuilt homoerotic behaviors of machismo. They're repressing it. Badly.

Click to shrink...

Ether way angel catbird is way more hornyer and that's disappointing for an anime! Come on nekopara! Your an anime based off a hentai game! You can do better then this! Pathetic!

 

[NothingNow]

Today's episode opens up with a younger Cinnamon, a Cinni-mini if you will, sitting in a corner of a room hiding out on the verge of tears before a similarly young Maple approaches her, and offers her a hand.

And then they're running around hand in hand in a meadow full of flowers.

Roll credits.

And then everyone's spending the day at a theme park, and maple gets aroused by an octopus atop one of the rides. Shigure is getting a lot of good material out of this.

Then there's a scene of Chocola mothering Cacao before getting doted on by Vanilla in turn.

Maple and Cinnamon go through a haunted house, and Maple doesn't do well. Cinnamon on the other hand is almost unaffected. Then Maple gets shit from Azuki about being a scaredy-cat. This is a topic of conversation right up until Cacao tells Chocola that she needs to pee, where the conversation then shifts to how Chocola is taking up a big sister role (which is kinda weird but I guess the franchise isn't ready to cross the line to Oyakodon yet, as opposed to Shimaidon.) And then Cinnamon sees herself in Cacao.

Who then disappeared while Chocola looked away with probably like four people looking at Cacao, and sat down on a bench. Which is actually for a show Maple and Cinnamon watched while they were kittens.

Cinnamon slipped into the show as a captive (alongside the cat actresses) and is honestly into it, as you would expect. Like entirely too into it. And the only way they can be rescued is through the power of song. Cue Cinnamon calling Maple out by breed, as the kids are all nervous and shy.


It takes Cinnamon threatening Maple with revealing a secret. (That she peed in the haunted house.) And then she does, singing the theme for the show. The kids are surprised by how well she sings, and the parents are too. Shigure got a good picture of it, and the show is over. Maple is also super embarrassed.

Some time later, Maple leaves work before Cinnamon, and gets home after her, and then falls asleep at dinner, as she's doing something.

So Cinnamon stalks Maple, and after she disappears in an area, thinks she's gone to work at a hostess club. Instead she got a part time job at a musical instrument store. Which Cinnamon makes into sounding like a brothel or something.


Kashou and Shigure are more confused as to why she's working at a musical instrument store, when like they buy their cats pretty much everything. Like, the tiny overdressed Hikkikomori is definitely confused by this.

Anyway, she wants to be a singer, and saw that learning an instrument is a good first step. So she was saving up to buy a guitar.

Kashou and Shigure just offer to buy her it, and Maple refuses because she has to do it for herself. Which Kashou completely gets. Before he produces a flyer for a singing competition where the prize is a guitar.

And so plot contrivance established, Maple starts training, which includes going out for a run because she needs to build stamina and lung capacity. While talking after a run, Cinnamon offers to adjust Maple's Cat Witches costume so she can sing in cosplay. Maple brushes her off because it obviously won't fit, and she doesn't want Cinnamon's help.

A training montage follows, and Maple is so nervous she has to pee twice before going, and everyone is going to be there. Because as Shigure says, it's their child's special day, and she's gonna put video up on her blog and everything.


Anyway, at the contest, the emcee is hyping the event up, as there's actual bands and stuff in a major venue. Which seems kinda ridiculous unless there is just a bracket for amateurs with a guitar as the prize.

Anyway, the rest of the cast is up in the stands with a banner and signs. Incidentally Maple looks to be the only catgirl in the contest.


And she freaks out and runs off so Cinnamon goes and looks for her, eventually finding her behind a wall behind the building. Maple wants to just quit now and go home because she's pretty sure she's not good enough to compete with like semi-professional singers and stuff.

And so Cinnamon slaps her, and has this tearful moment calling her out, and saying how for once in her life maple isn't cool. It's this whole crisis of confidence thing that's about as annoying as everything else in this goddamned paint by numbers episode.

Oh thank god, there's the flashback to when she first came to the household from earlier in the episode.

And that's enough to revive Maple's spirits.

Finally Maple runs on stage, and apparently has the Minazuki/Minaduki surname, just in time to start.

And it's the same Cat Witches theme. Which we don't get to Sing because we cut right to the after party where she's holding her new guitar and cajoled into singing. Which is actually over the special Maple and Cinnamon credits (which as usual are just pan and scan slide shows.)


Anyway the whole thing is honestly the worst episode in a while because it's just missing the offbeat weirdness and horny text that makes the show actually notable, and trades it for some paint by numbers bullshit.

 

[Spectral Waltz]

Whoof... I can feel the viewer apathy from here...

 

[NothingNow]

Whoof... I can feel the viewer apathy from here...

Click to shrink...

Well yes, I came for horny catgirl antics and this paint by numbers bullshit isn't it.