NothingNow
Corpse Wrangler
- Location
- Tampa
Anyway calling it. Next thing will be Nekopara.
Let’s Verb Noun! Now Verbing Nekopara!
- Thread starter NothingNow
- Start date
- Mature
Can't wait for the cringe! It will be so cringy.
Nekopara (2020): Episode 1
NothingNow
Corpse Wrangler
- Location
- Tampa
So Catfucking The Anime starts out with a normalish introduction, with a human little sister type in a kimono (which is just like all kinds of weirdly formal for the room) starts talking into a microphone in I think her house, asking if we know about cats. It's got a pretty cool fish eye effect going on, and actually looks pretty good.
Anyway, turns out cats are just catgirls here, and she's a cat fancier, and the two girls in the part she's voicing over are our protagonists.
Also there's a Patisserie involved with a bunch of catgirls working there. One of whom has heterochromia and it looks fucking creepy as shit with how the eyes are drawn in this.
Anyway, cut to Vanilla and Chocola's fucking huge bedroom (seriously it's like twice the size of mine I feel like,) where they're in cute nightgowns and curled up together sleeping on the bed when the alarm goes off. We get to see a bit of their different personalities, and like apparently Chocola talks in her sleep?
Anyway, Vanilla does some breast kneading shit on Chocola, wakes her up, and then I think gropes her? Thankfully we cut away from that to the outside of the patisserie.
After that discretion shot we're at the two of them walking in to where their master is making breakfast. Of bacon and fried eggs in the same pan. Which is something you can actually do, but those eggs look a bit burnt.
Anyway, they're impressed, and he tells them to go wash their faces after they've already gotten dressed but before they eat.
This place is entirely too well put together to be a bachelor pad as well (I mean mine is too, but I don't have color coded placemats.) it's huge, weirdly clean, and again has color coded placemats for the three of them.
This is just unnatural, especially since this guy can't be more than like twenty five.
Anyway, breakfast is like eggs bacon, croquettes, sausages and a thing of iceberg lettuce with a tomato wedge, plus a bowl of rice, and a cup of milk.
So, this guy has a flashback to when they were kittens who couldn't use chopsticks, and then to them slipping in by shipping themselves in boxes (which was Shigure's idea, and is all kinds of irresponsible to do with an animal.)
At some other house, we've got another catgirl (who looks like a twelve year old) dicing leeks, cutting up tofu and making Miso in the kitchen when the girl from the intro, Shigure, enters. She's impressed at how good the catgirl has gotten at cooking. Also apparently the cats make breakfast here.
Also there's another cat (Coconut) watching the Ricemaker because she can't be trusted with anything more dangerous. Especially not after she fucked up a cutting board trying to clean a fish.
Anyway, we cut to cat number five about to piss herself while waiting for someone else to get to the toilet. Who was apparently toilet trained by Shigure despite looking twice her age. Anyway, seven and a half minutes in, and we've got an Omorashi scene. I'm kinda surprised it took this long to get recognizable fetish content, and that's impressive.
So breakfast at the house is much more traditional, and looks like it's done better. It's also just this little girl and four cats. Where the hell are her parents?
Back at the patisserie, the guy is decorating cupcakes while Vanilla and Chocola are out front cleaning. Chocola is mopping with a mop that has cat ears on it, and everything looks kinda dumb. Like, that's a basic galvanized bucket, and pretty shit for actually wringing out a mop.
And then they open the shop, and we cut back to the one catgirl who actually acts like an adult putting the laundry out to dry. Including two of the shop uniforms and a similarly frilly dress. Meanwhile, Coconut is out on the engawa napping in the sun. Incidentally since I probably missed it earlier, she's Azuki, and the wiki says she's a three year old Munchkin. Despite being generally The Adult at three years old, she has to bat at the butterfly/moth whatever on Coconut's nose. Which wakes the Coconut. Which leads to the horniest fucking shot in this so far.
You're welcome
Anyway, cut to Piss cat (Cinnamon) and May (Maple) getting ready to head out, when they hear two Japanese voice actresses sound like angry cats moaning. Which is adorable and hilarious. Anyway, it's Coconut and Azuki squaring up to fight. As they apparently do regularly. Cinnamon and Maple are however running late because Maple accidentally peed a bit and had to change her panties and god damn it. At least Maple has shame. Also, Coconut is the only one who seems to wear clothes under her tail, instead of having it poke out from under a skirt. Ironically, despite dressing like a caricature of a stripper she probably flashes people the least.
Finally we hit the goddamned commercial break.
Cut to Cinnamon and Maple on a train, where we find out that apparently most cats are too fucking dumb to pass the supposedly very difficult test to go outside unsupervised. Through the device of a human mother explaining that to her like eight year old human child. Despite that you know, all the cats in the series so far can.
Like what even is on the test? Traffic rules, and like when you should eat a bird? Like the important thing is to keep them from just killing everything and bolting out into traffic or something.
Back at the shop Chocola is complaining about how they're late and she's starving, and then Vanilla calls her cute in a way which is not at all platonic. Then they have customers. Who Chocola disconcerts by just staring enviously at their food. Also I'm kind of drunk at this point so this is all kinds of choppy.
Shortly after this she gets dragged into the back before a customer feeds her.
Finally Cinnamon and Maple show up, and what's his face just sends them out because holy shit Chocola is about to eat a customer's food. Those two seat some customers, some lesbians feed each other, and Cinnamon has a fantasy scene and just says she's fucking wet in the middle of the shop floor. Which creeps out the lesbians.
And finally the shop is closed for the day. Incidentally the only sign we see that actual cats exist is the sign for the shop. Cinnamon and Maple buy off Chocola's anger with seared tuna that Shigure sent over. Incidentally, Vanilla seems to be motivated by two things: food and incest.
Cinnamon forgot the Ponzu as well. Which this super fucking got it together bachelor also doesn't have in his fridge.
So Chocola is running out to get some, instead of just putting Soy sauce on it. And then she just takes all the weird cat shortcuts, so she's just running around on people's walls and roofs. And she has an imagine spot about playing with a new toy, and Vanilla grooming her hair.
Then she finds a kitten out on the playground by the shrine. Who she tries to give a tube of M&Ms. Which leads to the question, what can't you feed your catgirl? Can she have some Salami as a treat?
Anyway, the kitten just fucking bolts for the bushes so Chocola leaves it out on the bench while she runs off to get ponzu.
Also the Tuna has onions and garlic with it. Which are also bad for cats. So what the hell will and won't poison them?
Anyway, the kitten follows Chocola home after Chocola picks the M&M tube up and sneaks in the back door.
Finally my suffering is over for now and we hit the credits sequence. Which is framed as Shigure looking through an album of the cats growing up with Shigure around. So yeah, Catgirls age like actual cats, and Coconut is apparently like
Anyway lingering questions so far:
Also this raises so many more questions than it answers because it's a horny story about catgirls at a pastry shop, and coming to this after Angel Catbird is a treat. Since it makes more sense than Angel Catbird, but like you're already full of horrible Cat Facts™ and can't help but ask why. Which Nekopara doesn't care about at all, and so you get whether they're acting like cats or people being decided pretty much arbitrarily.
It's not really that cringy and awful so far, but that's partly because the art is way less terrifying and also because I think I'm just acclimated to how terrible and perverse anime is. Like, I marathoned fucking Handshakers sober in a single sitting and was not harmed by the experience, and have watched seasonal anime for more than a decade now (back when shit was actually put up on Hulu.)
Anyway, turns out cats are just catgirls here, and she's a cat fancier, and the two girls in the part she's voicing over are our protagonists.
Also there's a Patisserie involved with a bunch of catgirls working there. One of whom has heterochromia and it looks fucking creepy as shit with how the eyes are drawn in this.
Anyway, cut to Vanilla and Chocola's fucking huge bedroom (seriously it's like twice the size of mine I feel like,) where they're in cute nightgowns and curled up together sleeping on the bed when the alarm goes off. We get to see a bit of their different personalities, and like apparently Chocola talks in her sleep?
Anyway, Vanilla does some breast kneading shit on Chocola, wakes her up, and then I think gropes her? Thankfully we cut away from that to the outside of the patisserie.
After that discretion shot we're at the two of them walking in to where their master is making breakfast. Of bacon and fried eggs in the same pan. Which is something you can actually do, but those eggs look a bit burnt.
Anyway, they're impressed, and he tells them to go wash their faces after they've already gotten dressed but before they eat.
This place is entirely too well put together to be a bachelor pad as well (I mean mine is too, but I don't have color coded placemats.) it's huge, weirdly clean, and again has color coded placemats for the three of them.
This is just unnatural, especially since this guy can't be more than like twenty five.
Anyway, breakfast is like eggs bacon, croquettes, sausages and a thing of iceberg lettuce with a tomato wedge, plus a bowl of rice, and a cup of milk.
So, this guy has a flashback to when they were kittens who couldn't use chopsticks, and then to them slipping in by shipping themselves in boxes (which was Shigure's idea, and is all kinds of irresponsible to do with an animal.)
At some other house, we've got another catgirl (who looks like a twelve year old) dicing leeks, cutting up tofu and making Miso in the kitchen when the girl from the intro, Shigure, enters. She's impressed at how good the catgirl has gotten at cooking. Also apparently the cats make breakfast here.
Also there's another cat (Coconut) watching the Ricemaker because she can't be trusted with anything more dangerous. Especially not after she fucked up a cutting board trying to clean a fish.
Anyway, we cut to cat number five about to piss herself while waiting for someone else to get to the toilet. Who was apparently toilet trained by Shigure despite looking twice her age. Anyway, seven and a half minutes in, and we've got an Omorashi scene. I'm kinda surprised it took this long to get recognizable fetish content, and that's impressive.
So breakfast at the house is much more traditional, and looks like it's done better. It's also just this little girl and four cats. Where the hell are her parents?
Back at the patisserie, the guy is decorating cupcakes while Vanilla and Chocola are out front cleaning. Chocola is mopping with a mop that has cat ears on it, and everything looks kinda dumb. Like, that's a basic galvanized bucket, and pretty shit for actually wringing out a mop.
And then they open the shop, and we cut back to the one catgirl who actually acts like an adult putting the laundry out to dry. Including two of the shop uniforms and a similarly frilly dress. Meanwhile, Coconut is out on the engawa napping in the sun. Incidentally since I probably missed it earlier, she's Azuki, and the wiki says she's a three year old Munchkin. Despite being generally The Adult at three years old, she has to bat at the butterfly/moth whatever on Coconut's nose. Which wakes the Coconut. Which leads to the horniest fucking shot in this so far.
You're welcome
Anyway, cut to Piss cat (Cinnamon) and May (Maple) getting ready to head out, when they hear two Japanese voice actresses sound like angry cats moaning. Which is adorable and hilarious. Anyway, it's Coconut and Azuki squaring up to fight. As they apparently do regularly. Cinnamon and Maple are however running late because Maple accidentally peed a bit and had to change her panties and god damn it. At least Maple has shame. Also, Coconut is the only one who seems to wear clothes under her tail, instead of having it poke out from under a skirt. Ironically, despite dressing like a caricature of a stripper she probably flashes people the least.
Finally we hit the goddamned commercial break.
Cut to Cinnamon and Maple on a train, where we find out that apparently most cats are too fucking dumb to pass the supposedly very difficult test to go outside unsupervised. Through the device of a human mother explaining that to her like eight year old human child. Despite that you know, all the cats in the series so far can.
Like what even is on the test? Traffic rules, and like when you should eat a bird? Like the important thing is to keep them from just killing everything and bolting out into traffic or something.
Back at the shop Chocola is complaining about how they're late and she's starving, and then Vanilla calls her cute in a way which is not at all platonic. Then they have customers. Who Chocola disconcerts by just staring enviously at their food. Also I'm kind of drunk at this point so this is all kinds of choppy.
Shortly after this she gets dragged into the back before a customer feeds her.
Finally Cinnamon and Maple show up, and what's his face just sends them out because holy shit Chocola is about to eat a customer's food. Those two seat some customers, some lesbians feed each other, and Cinnamon has a fantasy scene and just says she's fucking wet in the middle of the shop floor. Which creeps out the lesbians.
And finally the shop is closed for the day. Incidentally the only sign we see that actual cats exist is the sign for the shop. Cinnamon and Maple buy off Chocola's anger with seared tuna that Shigure sent over. Incidentally, Vanilla seems to be motivated by two things: food and incest.
Cinnamon forgot the Ponzu as well. Which this super fucking got it together bachelor also doesn't have in his fridge.
So Chocola is running out to get some, instead of just putting Soy sauce on it. And then she just takes all the weird cat shortcuts, so she's just running around on people's walls and roofs. And she has an imagine spot about playing with a new toy, and Vanilla grooming her hair.
Then she finds a kitten out on the playground by the shrine. Who she tries to give a tube of M&Ms. Which leads to the question, what can't you feed your catgirl? Can she have some Salami as a treat?
Anyway, the kitten just fucking bolts for the bushes so Chocola leaves it out on the bench while she runs off to get ponzu.
Also the Tuna has onions and garlic with it. Which are also bad for cats. So what the hell will and won't poison them?
Anyway, the kitten follows Chocola home after Chocola picks the M&M tube up and sneaks in the back door.
Finally my suffering is over for now and we hit the credits sequence. Which is framed as Shigure looking through an album of the cats growing up with Shigure around. So yeah, Catgirls age like actual cats, and Coconut is apparently like
Anyway lingering questions so far:
- What can catgirls eat?
- If Chocola and Cinnamon can actually pass the bell test how hard is it?
- Who the fuck dumps a catgirl kitten on the street? Or are there feral catgirls still?
- Are there actual cats?
- Can Azuki have a little salami as a treat?
Also this raises so many more questions than it answers because it's a horny story about catgirls at a pastry shop, and coming to this after Angel Catbird is a treat. Since it makes more sense than Angel Catbird, but like you're already full of horrible Cat Facts™ and can't help but ask why. Which Nekopara doesn't care about at all, and so you get whether they're acting like cats or people being decided pretty much arbitrarily.
It's not really that cringy and awful so far, but that's partly because the art is way less terrifying and also because I think I'm just acclimated to how terrible and perverse anime is. Like, I marathoned fucking Handshakers sober in a single sitting and was not harmed by the experience, and have watched seasonal anime for more than a decade now (back when shit was actually put up on Hulu.)
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Agree with the latter not the former.
But hey at least it's not hentai? I think so anyways?
Btw everyone should watch ping pong the animation. It's in my top 10 favourite stories of all time.
NothingNow
Corpse Wrangler
- Location
- Tampa
Oh no, the VN is apparently much, much hornier.
It's a shame I don't have a PC tbh, or I would've tried doing that version instead. Until I got hit for rule 6 or ran out of cat memes.
Crimson Flight
华裔机甲迷
- Location
- Victoria, Australia
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Yeah the VN is actually porn. One of my high school pals used to play it in the school library back in the day.
I know! Also since chocla and vanilla are 9 months old from what i hear that's 12 years old in cat years. Creepy am i right?
In the library! Nani the fuck!
Crimson Flight
华裔机甲迷
- Location
- Victoria, Australia
- Pronouns
- He/Him
His back faced a wall in the corner.
NothingNow
Corpse Wrangler
- Location
- Tampa
Definitely gonna be talking sexual ethics and like the issues involved with this, down to the weird sort of accidental grooming going on.
Also what sort of hell growing to 168cm in a year must be. Which yeah, it's only five and a half feet tall, but it's still five and a half feet tall, and growing more than a couple cm in a month is physically painful.
Give them morphine for the love of god!
That's a galaxy brain tactic.
Whiskey Golf
Being of Editing & Technical Assistance
- Location
- Chained to my desk
Nekopara exists because the artist/creator is thirsty as all fuck.
She's also apparently happily married with two kids so yanno, people can be depraved deviants while still being productive, contributing members of society. There's hope for me yet!
She's also apparently happily married with two kids so yanno, people can be depraved deviants while still being productive, contributing members of society. There's hope for me yet!
- Location
- National Capital Region, USA
Look at me! I manage to convince many people I'm a functional adult and parent!Nekopara exists because the artist/creator is thirsty as all fuck.
She's also apparently happily married with two kids so yanno, people can be depraved deviants while still being productive, contributing members of society. There's hope for me yet!
7734
Trust and verify.
- Location
- Philmont
You're clearing a horribly low bar here. After all, you come home after going on a beer run.
- Pronouns
- She/Her
I'll admit that so far it's coming across as a bit more dull than I anticipated. Then again I saw somebody play through the first 40-50 minutes of the game one time and it was incredibly boring so I'm not sure why I'm surprised.
NothingNow
Corpse Wrangler
- Location
- Tampa
It honestly is. I was also expecting the episode to be much racier than it was.
Crimson Flight
华裔机甲迷
- Location
- Victoria, Australia
- Pronouns
- He/Him
It's a natural consequence of taking the porn out of porn.
NothingNow
Corpse Wrangler
- Location
- Tampa
Yeah. It's got it's own story going on though, so hopefully it starts to get it's own thing going on.
Tbh I might set up a Windows 10 VM so I can just play it or stream it (or other VNs) without juggling a second machine and adding even more cables to the rat's nest behind my desk.
Like I found my old dell today, but I don't have a spare HDMI cable and it was a $750 piece of shit laptop when I bought it in 2015. It's probably powerful enough to run it but like also not worth setting up again.
EDIT: nope, Windows 10 and virtual box are not playing nice, so I'm probably buying another HDMI cable.
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Yeah! I'm surprised there's anime adaptations of hentai! Like wtf other porn don't get adaptations! You don't see cam girl anime! It's weird is what I'm saying.
Imrix
Periodically Malevolent QM
I stand in awe of your power.
NothingNow
Corpse Wrangler
- Location
- Tampa
It's actually pretty common especially with VN adaptations. Fate pretty infamously started at one, Muv-Luv Total Eclipse had some scenes in its VN version IIRC, and that's just the stuff I can remember.
Also Mezzo DSA's prequel was also an absolutely garbage hentai series as well.
Thus far only Angel Catbird has managed to successfully curse me. Like I've been online in some capacity since 1996, and grew up online so I've seen some shit.
incidentally, W'z is actually watchable and like mediocre, so if you can survive Handshakers it's worth a watch.
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The internet was made to scar people.
- Location
- Elendel, Scadrial
See I also consider myself "acclimated to how terrible and perverse anime is". I still dropped Nekopara 3/4th of the way through ep 1 and walked away worriedly wondering how the hell this got so popular. I've been aware of Nekopara existing for a while, it's on Steam and a fair number of vaguely respectable weeb talking heads are will to say their fans of it. So I had assumed that though it was porn it was still like respectable mainstream porn. Much to my surprise, Nekopara crosses some a major lines that even anime usually doesn't.
It makes you think anime is becoming hentai. Well at least we've got mothers basement and super eyepatch wolf for good recommendations.
NottheCrabs!
Local fool making foolish things
- Location
- The Bottom of The Ocean
Okay, let's see if I can dissect the many fucked up layers of this shows premise
So you've got sexualised infantilised female characters that are owned by someone and look like adults but act like kids but are also allowed to work in a store in spite of not being allowed outside without taking a test and they're literally at most three years old and yet they apparently get wet and WHY
I like to think of myself as being an understanding person, I've seen plenty of fetishes that are weird to me and basically shrugged my shoulders and got on with my day.
THIS however, has always disturbed the fuck out of me. I watched the Lost Pause lets play of the thing in my late teens and after looking on in abject disgust because the cats are child coded so much, they are literally three at the most, they have to be looked after by their caretaker when out of the house, and while some of them look like adults by anime standards (the bars in the molten core, not hard to pass) they still mentally act like children. And what disturbed me the most was that people didn't seem to care? Like the show gives justification that's literally paper thin "oh they're cat girls so they have the same lifespan as cats do" (let's ignore that some of the sexualised cat girls even in cat years are KIDS) and they just fucking... Lapped it up, the weebs channels practically bathed in the fucked up "sub"text and it's reviewed positively on steam? Why?
Like, this is really fucked up, beyond shield hero fucked up, and apparently no one gives a shit?
Did I mention YOU CAN OWN A HUMAN BEING? As long as it has cat ears and a tail it's totally fine to own a person! And don't worry, that kitten (child) will grow up to be a nice waifu you literally own (slavery)! And don't worry, as they grow older they'll grow more aroused because that's what cats are like (1. No 2. Why the fuck aren't they hacking up hair balls then dumbass?) so they'd totally be into it! (fuck you) And unlike in shield hero NOBODY BATS AN EYE What the fuck!
- these cat girls are basically human besides some minor bits, yet people can own them
- They act like what people imagine cats act like, which means you've infantilised every young adult/teen looking female character in this shitty hentai
- They look like adults but their "real age" is pre-toddler
- They are sexualised basically the entire time, which is really damn disturbing considering the points above.
- This isn't including all the general harem anime bullshit this thing reeks of
So you've got sexualised infantilised female characters that are owned by someone and look like adults but act like kids but are also allowed to work in a store in spite of not being allowed outside without taking a test and they're literally at most three years old and yet they apparently get wet and WHY
I like to think of myself as being an understanding person, I've seen plenty of fetishes that are weird to me and basically shrugged my shoulders and got on with my day.
THIS however, has always disturbed the fuck out of me. I watched the Lost Pause lets play of the thing in my late teens and after looking on in abject disgust because the cats are child coded so much, they are literally three at the most, they have to be looked after by their caretaker when out of the house, and while some of them look like adults by anime standards (the bars in the molten core, not hard to pass) they still mentally act like children. And what disturbed me the most was that people didn't seem to care? Like the show gives justification that's literally paper thin "oh they're cat girls so they have the same lifespan as cats do" (let's ignore that some of the sexualised cat girls even in cat years are KIDS) and they just fucking... Lapped it up, the weebs channels practically bathed in the fucked up "sub"text and it's reviewed positively on steam? Why?
Like, this is really fucked up, beyond shield hero fucked up, and apparently no one gives a shit?
Did I mention YOU CAN OWN A HUMAN BEING? As long as it has cat ears and a tail it's totally fine to own a person! And don't worry, that kitten (child) will grow up to be a nice waifu you literally own (slavery)! And don't worry, as they grow older they'll grow more aroused because that's what cats are like (1. No 2. Why the fuck aren't they hacking up hair balls then dumbass?) so they'd totally be into it! (fuck you) And unlike in shield hero NOBODY BATS AN EYE What the fuck!
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