I decided that it was about time to start watching this since I've heard so many good things about it and so many baffling things about it. Let's see how it goes.
The first update should be up soon.
I'm going into this blind so please keep the spoilers to a minimum.
This story starts in 1868 with a nobleman's carriage that has fallen off of a cliff.
Well this is certainly going to get violent, I wonder if I'll need to include gore spoiler tags...
The carriage in question is being looted by what seems to be a husband/wife pair.
As the guy goes over the body of the nobleman the wife goes over the carriage and finds that the baby in the carriage is still alive even though the wife and the carriage driver are both dead, the wife wants to save the child while the husband just doesn't care.
She looks fine while he looks like he's lived in the gutter most of his life, both of them are wearing a lot of purple for some reason though.
They also find a mask of some sort in a suitcase and the guy tosses it aside.
That mask is going to be something evil, isn't it.
While the guy is still searching the nobleman the nobleman in question wakes up.
That's an "I just shit myself" expression if I've ever seen one.
After that the nobleman introduces himself as Joestar and asks for the guy's name, it turns out to be Dario Brando, Joestar promises never to forget his debt to Brando before he falls unconscious again.
After this the mask grows some goddamn spikes and we skip to 12 years later and against expectations the flying spiky mask doesn't seem to have killed everybody.
That is a lovely house.
This appears to be our protagonist and his dog called Danny.
After that happy scene we head straight to Dario Brando's house where things are considerably less cheery since Dario is even older and needs medicine along with having a son named Dio. After Dio asks if he wants medicine he responds by shouting that the medicine does nothing, throwing a bottle at his head and telling Dio to get him some more whiskey.
Not much of a family resemblance here.
To further contrast we go straight back to the Joestar family and lord Joestar's hair has gone from green to blue while Jojo is absolutely devouring a steak while his father tells him to remember his table manners.
Table manners? What are those?
Back to Dio who has just kicked a guy's arse at chess for some money, said guy is a sore loser.
I get the feeling that this guy is going to go on a revenge spree if/when he gets power.
The scene then changes to two jerks harassing a girl named Erina by stealing her doll.
Creepy arseholes, one of the few constants of life.
After they do a bit of singing and dancing over making her cry, Jojo intervenes and starts repeatedly punching one in the gut to no effect before getting dropped with a blow to the back of the head, after pulling out a handkerchief with his name on it the two bullies beat him up for being the son of Joestar and a noble before walking off.
Back with Dio (the pov is just bouncing around like a ping-pong ball at the moment) Dario tells him that he doesn't have much longer and hands him a letter to send to Joestar, telling him that he'll go a long way with Joestar's help.
With the beating over Jojo tells Erina not to offer gratitude because he didn't do it for her gratitude and just did it because a gentleman should help out anyone in need.
Next up Dio is in a graveyard and his father is dead, he starts thinking about how he hated his father for being so cruel to his mother until she died. He resolves to get ahead with Joestar like his father suggested but he'll do it for himself rather than his father. He walks off after spitting on the grave while ominous music plays.
And now that feeling about a revenge spree seems almost certain.
Back to Erina who has picked up Jojo's discarded handkerchief and now knows his name.
I get the feeling that she's going to be a love interest.
After this the narration talks about how this is the story of two boys whose fates have been intertwined by a mysterious stone mask before revealing the title of this episode is Dio the Destroyer just as Dio arrives at the estate.
The posing has begun already.
How did he get the suit before he arrived?
Jojo then introduces himself to Dio and calls over Danny.
Motherfucker, you do not knee dogs in the face when they're tring to be friendly.
After kneeing his dog Dio then gets ready to fight Jojo while thinking about how the estate will be his if he can break Jojo's spirit over time while Danny lies on the ground twitching. Before the fight can stard lord Joestar arrives and Dio sweeps the whole incident under the rug by saying that his kneeing of Danny was a panicked reflex.
I get the feeling that I'm going to absolutely despise him by the end of the season.
After that Joestar introduces him to the servants and gets Jojo to forgive Dio for kicking Danny, the scene ends with Dio looking at the mask as he gets shown to his room.
They really do not look like twelve year olds, they have a lot more muscle than any twelve year old I've ever met.
Dio then grabs Jojo's wrist in an incredibly tight fashion after Jojo touches his suitcase and then shoves an elbow into his gut, I get the feeling that the reason Dio got his face shoved into his food after the chess match was because he was insulting the other player the whole time. He then makes clear that he's going to cause trouble for Jojo and that he loves being the best because he absolutely cannot do more than pretend to be civil for more than 5 seconds.
After this the narration makes clear that Jojo's happy life steadily disappeared after Dio moved in and there's scenes of him getting shown up by Dio in academics and table manners before a timeskip before Jojo is revealed as a boxer with Dio as his new challenger.
The boxing match does not go well for Jojo as Dio dodges every move of his before smashing him in the face.
I wonder how many teeth Jojo lost from that punch.
Of course, Dio follows that up by gouging Jojo's eye because fuck Jojo and promising to teach the spectators for the boxing match how to dodge like him on the condition that they don't teach Jojo. I have to wonder how Joestar hasn't picked up on just how much of a prick Dio is.
After this the scene changes to Jojo being miserable in a tree and thinking about how Dio seems to be trying to destroy his life before he spots 3 guys and invites them to join him in the tree.
When they're making faces like that you don't need to hear the answer, you already know what they're going to say. And sorry about the different picture sizes, the first ones were done by putting the pictures in microsoft word before putting them in paint.
They then run off saying that Jojo is a telltale and Jojo finally realises that Dio is trying to destroy his reputation. Just as he sits down thinking that he needs someone he can talk to Erina walks up to him carrying a basket of grapes and leaves after handing them over along with returning Jojo's handkerchief.
I suppose I was right about her being the love interest.
Or right I forgot that swimsuits used to be like that.
Of course, the happy moments can't last and Dio notices a carving in a tree and confronts Erina backed up by the bullies from earlier and starts talking about how he was wondering why Jojo was happy despite all that he was doing to him.
And now he adds sexual harassment (or would that be sexual assault?) to his list of crimes.
Even the two bullies can't believe he did that but they're quick enough to express admiration for his boldness.
Dio then gets his gloat on over kissing her before Jojo.
So that's where the image came from.
While Dio is thinking to himself about how he's successfully broken them up Elina starts washing her mouth with dirty water and Dio slaps her for washing her mouth in defiance.
The next day Jojo sees Elina and like Dio expected she doesn't want to talk to Jojo and the bullies show up again to laugh at Jojo, next up we see Jojo charge Dio.
He's deserved an asskicking from the start of this episode, let's hope this is when it happens.
Jojo shouts that he can tolerate Dio doing anything to him but that he won't tolerate Dio hurting Erina, unfortunately all he gets for his trouble is an elbow to the face. Despite being outmatched Jojo resolves to stand against Dio and headbutts him.
That was incredibly satisfying to see.
He then gets a dozen more punches in while he wonders how he could get hit by Jojo and I wonder how to make gifs so I can watch it again and again. This beating leads to Dio's blood falling on the evil mask that is still on the wall.
After getting punched, Dio starts crying.
Wow he's really not used to getting beaten.
He then pulls out a knife but lord Joestar comes in again and starts criticising Jojo for attacking a helpless Dio despite Dio having a knife in his hand that he only hides after Joestar has been there for a few seconds and won't listen to Jojo's protests.
The scene changes to one of the servants going to the garbage and finding a box in there that he takes to the incinerator and realises that something was burned alive after he hears banging from inside the incinerator.
The scene then changes to Jojo trying to call out to Erina and lamenting that Dio kissing Erina has driven a wedge between her and Jojo.
RIP Danny the faithful dog.
Dio needs to die a violent death for this. They set out to design an utterly unlikable character and they succeeded.
How the heck would that work? He really doesn't want to think that Dio is guilty.
After this the scene changes to Jojo standing on his own and thinking about how he underestimated Jojo and congratulating himself for killing Danny.
7 more years of abuse by Dio, and the mask looks different now that it's had Dio's blood on it.
With this, the episode ends.
Dio's eyes seem to be red in that and the mask's eyes glow red when the blood reaches it, I suppose those are related.
And those look like hieroglyphs, will this be going to Egypt?
Overall I enjoyed this episode, this series is off to a fine start.
