I mean, RNG is one thing, but like.
Not every girl is into this particular kind of guy? I don't mind teenage boys and girls having interest in each other, I mind all having similar enough taste for a ....very specific kind of person that protag is to fit all of them.
Don't worry. Not all of them are into Daiki or at least not in the traditional sense.
After the social crit all of them want to be close to him, that's for sure, but not like that. Some out of admiration, some show interest... You can actually see what they think of Daiki in their relationship page. The text after the number indicates what they see Daiki as. The only one with something like that is Shirohime who has «My... best friend». She is struggling with the idea and doesn't admit it to herself. Don't expect girls to fall for him bellow 5 relationship and not all of them. Depends on what happens.
There are only two characters that might fall for him before 5 relationship but it's a secret who they are.
Also, making a girl blush doesn't mean she likes you like that. It's just fun to tease people.
This is objectively false, I've seen anime. The only more reliable sign is them saying that "It's not like I like you." Now if you'll excuse me, I'm late for court.
I've been thinking a lot lately about my quests, about why I sometimes feel like something is missing when I write. I sometimes don't have motivation to write and others I spend days and days writing nonstop.
I realized that the answer was feedback.
I asked myself why do I write and what do I get from writing a quest. I don't have a patreon and people don't ask me for commissions or specific writing in exchange of money… Then I realized that what I get from this is practice. Practice in making stories and characters. What I get from quest is experience. I know I'm kind of decent at writing, that's why people keep reading, but…
I don't want to be a decent writer. I want to be a GREAT one. That's why we are here.
They say you need to practice 10.000 hours to be an expert at something but if you are practicing the wrong way you will only be an expert at doing stuff wrong.
I need feedback to know what exactly I'm doing right. Real feedback. I usually pester people on my discord until someone tells me what they liked and not from the update to shut me up, but that's kind of not a great way of doing it.
Then I had an idea.
I will give bonus to rolls in exchange of that sweet, sweet feedback.
You know when some people just quote their favorite parts of an update with a little comment of how they liked/disliked that part? That works. I need to know if a joke lands or falls flat, if an emotional moment causes feelings or people just kind of read it and keep going. Sometimes I even divide the update into two clear parts, but people only say something about one of them. Sometimes I have an interaction I find really funny in the first half and something more serious later. The more serious part overshadows the less serious one so I'm left wondering if it was funny or it wasn't and should change how I do that kind of interaction.
I like the likes and I'm grateful for them, don't get me wrong. 50 likes in a MHA update? I love that. Everyone likes the internet points, but they don't actually help me get better at this. They help in the sense they tell me I'm doing something right, but not WHAT exactly.
So… Yeah, I plan on giving bonus to dice to each person that gives me feedback, even if it's not much. This is how it works:
You don't need to do much to get the bare minimum. You can just quote your favorite four or five lines saying "This was funny/sad/epic" or your least favorites saying "This was dumb/too weird/uncomfortable" and you already get a +1 to a roll of your choice.
If you quote something and just say "I liked this" it… works but I would prefer if you add something more even if it's just "I liked this because it was funny". Giving me a reason for you liking it makes the feedback 200% more useful.
For the feedback to give a bonus it needs to have a minimum depending on update length. If in a 4k update you quote only one sentence with the bare minimum comment about it… I will be grateful but I can't give bonus for that. If you do that but with 4 or 5 bits you liked then sure. I will not ask much.
You will get bonus for each time you give me feedback. That bonus is yours and you can use it whenever you want. I will ask before an update with a roll if someone wants to use their bonus and how much of it. I will have a list of people with bonus and how much they have. The bonus is individual so, if you want a roll to have a huge bonus, you will have to make sure everyone uses their points.
I will give 1 to 5 bonus for each feedback comment. I might change it depending on how this goes, but that's the standard. 1 is for feedback where you just quote and comment the bare minimum. 5 is for something like actually analyzing the update in-depth, a character or something crazy like that. Something worthy of being almost an omake.
IMPORTANT: I don't want just ass-kissing and ego-stroking feedback. Negative feedback is as important as positive. If something about an update was bad I would love to know so I can improve it. But if you give me negative feedback my ego would appreciate if you pair it with something you liked too… Unless it was so bad you didn't like anything in the update.
And that's all. I will post this to all my quests and see how this little experiment goes. If it goes well not only I will get better at writing much quicker but also would give me more motivation to do it.
They say you need to practice 10.000 hours to be an expert at something but if you are practicing the wrong way you will only be an expert at doing stuff wrong.
Spanish and my way of writing numbers is objectively the correct one. Everyone else is wrong.
And yes, Omakes will always get bonus and prizes. I didn't say anything about it because it's obvious I would reward something like that... But I guess I should specify.
Omakes: They also get rewards. From 5 to 10 bonus on a dice the same way feedback does. Maybe more or maybe even a new trait. Who knows. Omakes can get almost anything depending on how much I liked it or how much effort someone put into it. The reward range is much higher and less exact, so go nuts writing about any of my quests.
And yes, Omakes will always get bonus and prizes. I didn't say anything about it because it's obvious I would reward something like that... But I guess I should specify.
It always frustrates me that some people use full stops rather than commas to seperate words as my first thought is that they're being ridiculously precise with their decimal places.
"Science has determined that you become an expert after 10 hours plus or minus 2 seconds."
It always frustrates me that some people use full stops rather than commas to seperate words as my first thought is that they're being ridiculously precise with their decimal places.
"Science has determined that you become an expert after 10 hours plus or minus 2 seconds."
OBJECTIVELY CORRECT WAY OF DOING IT... Even if this says that both ways are correct depending on where you are. And seems like the IBWM declared that it's not comma or point and we should write it with a space so that's what I should do from now on if I don't forget.
Edit: SEE? Feedback in action. Someone commented about something I did, then I researched and found a more correct way of doing it. FEEDBACK WORKS.
OBJECTIVELY CORRECT WAY OF DOING IT... Even if this says that both ways are correct depending on where you are. And seems like the IBWM declared that it's not comma or point and we should write it with a space so that's what I should do from now on if I don't forget.
OBJECTIVELY CORRECT WAY OF DOING IT... Even if this says that both ways are correct depending on where you are. And seems like the IBWM declared that it's not comma or point and we should write it with a space so that's what I should do from now on if I don't forget.
Edit: SEE? Feedback in action. Someone commented about something I did, then I researched and found a more correct way of doing it. FEEDBACK WORKS.
IBWM only recommends space as the proper method because of the confusion over comma and full stop. They don't want people to need to question it, nor do they want to rule that one group is objectively incorrect
They say that the Shadow Step Dojo is the last place in the world where you can learn the true art of the shinobi. In this day and age where most people have powers that long ago were part of legends, places like these turn into hotspots of hero activity.
Every hero has an archetype… A persona they show the world. Something they use as a base for their image. Techniques, outfit, hero name… All-Might, for example, was clearly inspired by golden age heroes from American comics. Recovery Girl always tried to base herself on anime Magical Girls, something that worked much better when she was younger.
Ninjas are, of course, a popular choice. Kamui Woods, Eraserhead… Many heroes base their persona on them. Maybe because of their «cool» factor or because they feel like they use similar strategies and techniques. It doesn't matter the reason. Any hero who wants to be recognized as a ninja needs to train in the Shadow Step Dojo. It takes years to be accepted as an apprentice. The number of openings each year was very limited and only one of every hundred applicants managed to learn from the master himself. Yamakage Koga.
Father of your new friends, the Yamakage twins.
Yeah, you kind of missed the implication of their family name until, after accepting their invitation, they sent a limousine for you that drove straight into the quasi militaristic Yamakage compound.
You were nervous. It was kind of difficult to not be. A surprisingly enormous butler received you at the entrance. Big enough to be impressive but not big enough to be without a doubt the result of a mutation. He moved through the lavishly decorated hallways with surprising finesse. Avoiding the statues and other decorations. For the main house of a family that teaches something as traditional as ninjutsu… This place was surprisingly western. French paintings on the wall, a room with an enormous dining table and a chandelier… The twins were also dressed pretty western, so maybe it's their fault that everything looks like this?
You ended up having to wait in a smaller tea room while the butler went to fetch the twins. It had a small table in the middle with four extremely comfy chairs around it. A fireplace in one of the walls with a painting of what looks like a younger version of the twins. Not a photo but an actual painting. Taking a better look at the painting… The twins look actually really cute. They are wearing frilly black dresses. You can only recognize them by their eyes and while Akane's shine with pride and her posture clearly shows how much she likes the situation… Syouin looks more uncomfortable and embarrassed, wanting to stand up from the armchair both were sharing and to walk away from the painter. A little metal plaque under the painting had all the information you needed.
The sign of the artist was also there. For you to be able to get so much about them from a simple painting… The painter was seriously good. That thing probably costs ten times more than all your stuff. Everything in this house probably costs that much and you are clumsy enough to not want to even move until the twins arrive.
You tried to relax looking around the room and then outside through the pair of glass doors that led into a «little» private garden almost as big as a park. It only made you even more nervous because in one of the trees, the legendary master ninja Koga was hiding, watching you. He was hiding in a way for you to see him, the message clear, he was watching you. He is too far away for your empathy but you know that he knows that you know because he suddenly vanishes, using his weird ninja magic to hide for real now that you know the truth.
You know he is still out there, watching. You have no idea of where or even how you know that. For now, you are sticking to your weird ninja magic explanation.
It doesn't take long for the twins to arrive, followed by the butler carrying a tray with tea.
"We are sorry Daiki. We got distracted and didn't realize you would arrive so soon. Welcome to our home." Akane said with a smile and a dainty curtsy. Unlike her sister she seemed to be completely relaxed and even started to get the table ready to have tea, helping the butler to serve it.
Syouin was going to welcome you too trying to copy her sister, but something grabbed her attention. She froze before blushing and, without saying a word, she walked to the fireplace. Once the reached it she quickly took the painting from its position and propped it against the wall backwards so no one could see it. "I thought I hid it well enough…" She murmurs to herself as she fights back the embarrassment.
Akane tries to act like she isn't noticing her sister's actions, but you can clearly see and feel the amusement radiating from her. A glint in her red eyes and a tiny smirk.
The butler has a stoney face that shows absolutely no emotion… But your powers tell you that he shares the same amusement Akane feels.
You can't deny that is funny how Syouin tries to hide her embarrassment. You decide that teasing her now might be in bad taste because you are a guest, so you act as if you never saw that painting.
You all sit down around the table where the tea was served. The butler walked out but for the little bell left behind, he probably was close enough to be called back.
Syouin was still trying to calm down after hiding the evidence of her being ten at some point, so Akane takes the lead. "Tell me Daiki. What do you think about our home?" She asks as she drinks some of her tea. You drink some too. You've always been more of a coffee person, your big sister's fault for always needing it to not fall asleep, but you really liked this tea.
You think about her question for a moment. "It's… Not what I was expecting. It a lot fancier than what I imagined. I expected something more…" You try to find the words, but Syouin, who finally managed to calm down, finished it for you.
"Traditional." She said before sighing and drinking some of her tea. "Everyone expects that. This place was more traditional at some point… You can thank my dear sister for the new look." Syouin rolled her eyes when saying «dear». Akane made a ladylike giggle.
"Dad wanted us to feel at home. We lived in England with our mother all our lives. He made sure our new home felt as close to the mansion we used to live in as possible." She said with a nostalgic smile before looking briefly at her sister. "We also like all the frilly stuff, even if Syouin tries to act like the though twin and denies it." She smiles at you tring to ignore her sister's sputtering.
"Y-y-you… Akane! Don't tell him that!" Syouin shouted, almost dropping her teacup while her twin took a calm sip from hers. A longer one than usual because she needed a moment to hide her amused smirk, always trying to look ladylike and innocent while also relentlessly teasing her sister.
"I'm sorry Syouin, I sometimes talk too much. I'm too sincere for my own good." She said with a face of pure innocence that made her sister roll her eyes as soon as she managed to control her embarrassment.
"«Sincere» is not the word I would use to describe you…" She replied with a bit of a sneer and leaving her cup on the table, her posture a bit more aggressive. It seems like she does have a limit to how much teasing she accepts.
Akane gasped at that before replying back with a biting comment about an incident with one of the hallways statues. Something you lack the context of but made Syouin even angrier.
This situation is like the one you found them in during the exam. Both girls started to argue with each other… And you couldn't help but smile. You thought briefly about it when you met them, but they act like your sisters. Always arguing with each other but caring deeply for their family. Being an empath and your little sister a mind reader always made sibling squabbles end pretty quickly. If only these two could sense the regret the other feels every time they thought a comment might be too much… Always arguing and, at the same time, trying to not truly hurt the other.
They both stop when you chuckle to yourself. They look at you with a curious expression. You don't know what they were talking about, but you don't need to. "Sorry." You say before shaking your head. "You two just remind me too much of my sisters… Always arguing but also caring for each other at the same time." You say, making them look at each other before looking away in embarrassment. It's always weird to think that not everyone wears their emotions on their sleeves. They can't feel what you feel. They always argue with each other but are afraid of telling their sibling how much they love them.
But in the end, they don't deny your words, just look away and keep silent.
To your surprise, Syouin is the first to get over her embarrassment and talk.
"W-well… It's not like I get mad at Akane because I like being mad. She is just so-" She suddenly stops mid-sentence and looks at the glass doors leading into the garden. They were flanked by a pair of heavy curtains to keep the room warm in winter. She stared in silence at them.
"… Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain…" A male voice said from behind the curtain, knowing he was caught.
"Dad!" Syouin shouted, standing up and walking in the curtain's direction. Akane just sighed exasperated and left her teacup on the table. It's the first time you see her actually annoyed. Meanwhile, Syouin reached the curtain and moved it to reveal an older man behind it dressed like a ninja and clashing with the rest of the room… How did he hide there? You saw him outside and there is no way he sneaked in without you noticing! The glass doors were closed and you were in front of them! "Were you spying on us?!"
The man kept his composure and avoided her question with a proud smile. "Ah, you saw past my stealth. I trained you well, my daughter. You will be a great master when I'm gone." He solemnly proclaimed. He was… different from what you expected. When he talked it always felt like he was making a grand and wise statement but in a somewhat goofy way. It was difficult to know if he was being serious or not. Sadly your emotion sense didn't allow you to actually read minds.
"The curtain started to tremble when Daiki said… that." She deadpanned, explaining to her father how she found him. That definitely seemed more his failure than her being a great ninja… Even if you never realized he was there.
Akane stood up and walked towards the glass doors.
"Well… That's because I was so proud of you two! That young man is right. You both love each other even if you argue!" Koga declared, making Syouin make an annoying noise and turn around to walk towards the table again, getting away from him.
"Ugh, just go away Dad! I told you to not spy on us when we invite our friends home!" She said before giving you an apologetic look. You just smiled at her reassuringly, kind of understanding what was happening. Any other response would just make her feel more embarrassed.
Koga gasps in horror. "You shouldn't talk to your father like that! How can I, the greatest ninja in the world, just stay away while my beautiful angels get snatched away from me by a young man like him?!" He asks walking towards Syouin. "I can't let that happen. I should interview this boy and make sure he is not a threat to my beautiful-"
He can't finish his sentence because Syouin turns around and punches him in the guts while shouting: "I said go away!". He doubles over, but she is not done. Her training kicks in and uses the opening to jump and spin around, kicking the legendary master of ninjutsu with enough strength to send him flying backwards, straight through the glass- Oh, it seems like Akane knew this would happen and opened the glass doors in time for her father to fly through them into the garden. Without missing a beat she closed them.
Koga had just enough time to say: "Good form, but your leg strength needs more work!" through the doors before Akane closed the heavy curtains too, leaving the room dark for a second before the butler turned on the lights. It seems like the noise made him check what was happening.
The twins go back to their seats as if all of this never happened. From the emotions you feel from everyone… This seems like a common thing in this house.
Well, your family is weird too so you don't think too much about it and, after they apologized profusely for their father's behavior, you all started to talk again.
⁂
You spent a while talking with the twins. After the akwardness of their father interruption was over, you could finally relax and just talk about stuff. Even if the room was probably the fanciest you've ever seen… You had the same feeling you always had while hanging out with friends. A feeling you started to feel again recently. A feeling you never realized how much you missed until the whole being a hero thing started.
That's where your discussion finally went. They got accepted into UA and both think it's thanks to you… Even if you insist it's for their own merit. They tell you how much they've been training and, after that day in the test, they promised each other to never argue again when there is danger around.
You told them about your training too and they seem amused when you confess your lack of strength and stamina.
"You know… If you really feel that weak we could give you some pointers…" Akane proposed, thinking about what kind of training would be good for you. Syouin seemed on board with the idea.
"Yes, we should help you with some special Shadow Step training. No secret techniques or anything, of course… But our work out is usually geared for people with a lithe and agile build like yours. We could help you get stronger without getting too heavy." Syouin said, clearly knowledgable about her family's training techniques.
"… Ooor we could help him learn a bit more about stealth." Akane proposed. "Getting stronger is always good, but he is smart and being able to hide in plain sight might actually be more useful to him that a stronger body. After all… He can get stronger anywhere, but stealth is not something you learn running around in a park." She explained. Syouin seemed confused for a moment.
"Doesn't that include actual Shadow Step techniques? It's just the basics and nothing secret but I'm sure we need at least dad's permission to teach that." Syouin said surprisingly you with her willingness to follow the rules.
Akane looked around at the room that once was the image of Japanese tradition and now looked like an English noble's tea room with a devilish smile on her innocent face. "I know how to convince him."
You are slowly starting to think that Akane might be the evil twin.
They both argued with each other about the benefits of training. Syouin said that stealth is good until you get caught and that you might need the strength sooner than the stealth. Akane argued that even if strength will be more useful in the first weeks of class, the secrets of stealth will be more useful in the long run and they don't always have the time to teach him another day.
"Does my opinion matter on this?" You meekly ask, making them realize that… Oh, right, you are here too and they are kind of talking about you.
They both nod and wait expectantly for your decision.
[] About that workout regime… (BODY roll. Low DC. Will give +1 permanent BODY on a success.)
[] I would like to know the secrets of stealth. (BODY roll. Low DC. Will give a trait on a success.)
[] Can't we just… Hang around and talk instead of training?
Remember that I appreciate all feedback I can get about the update. What worked and what didn't. What parts were funny and where I was just trying too hard. I will bribe you with cool internet points to get that feedback.
[X] I would like to know the secrets of stealth. (BODY roll. Low DC. Will give a trait on a success.)
Ok, the twins are just hilarious. And Koga is disconcerting. Like, a Master Ninja allowing you to know they are there, watching? 10/10 Intimidation tactics.
The +1 to BODY would be nice. Though they raise the valid point of us being able to train our BODY any time. Where as Stealth is a thing that you don't just come across.
Also, wonder if Akane will learn she's pushing boundaries to a potentially damaging degree.
Also also, the interaction between Koga and the twins reminds me of Isshin and his kids from Bleach. Which makes Koga all the more terrifying.
Ah right, thricely, we need to get the twins a thank you gift, even if we don't choose the stealth training, because that's a pretty big offer I'd think to teach someone not a student stealth.
Ninjas are, of course, a popular choice. Kamui Woods, Eraserhead… Many heroes base their persona on them. Maybe because of their «cool» factor or because they feel like they use similar strategies and techniques. It doesn't matter the reason.
Koga had just enough time to say: "Good form, but your leg strength needs more work!" through the doors before Akane closed the heavy curtains too, leaving the room dark for a second before the butler turned on the lights. It seems like the noise made him check what was happening.
Is... is anyone else getting Bleach flashbacks? To Isshin specifically? I'm also wondering how Daiki didn't pick up on his emotions from behind the curtain. That's... rather interesting.
Think you meant "build" rather than "complexion", the usual interpretation when referring to a person's "complexion" is their skin tone.
I'd also honestly say that maybe you should help underscore some of Syourin's more prominent personality traits. Aside from getting made when Akane pushed her too far she kind of comes across as a doormat. It makes the twins feel... unbalanced, like Akane is the one in charge.
[X] I would like to know the secrets of stealth. (BODY roll. Low DC. Will give a trait on a success.)
We've still got time to bulk up, and frankly this stealth trait may be a lot more useful in the long run, especially considering how incredibly powerful being able to set up with our various talents would be.
Any hero who wants to be recognized as a ninja needs to train in the Shadow Step Dojo. It takes years to be accepted as an apprentice. The number of openings each year was very limited and only one of every hundred applicants managed to learn from the master himself. Yamakage Koga.
Little surprised that there's only one dojo, ignoring the fact that it's in Japan. But Ninja training is really rare nowadays too, I can't actually recall if Ninja dojos even exist. I blame anime for making this seem weird to me.
It only made you even more nervous because in one of the trees, the legendary master ninja Koga was hiding, watching you. He was hiding in a way for you to see him, the message clear, he was watching you.
I somewhat feel like this is extraneous fluff. The butler's role is mainly to do one thing in my view. This is to highlight how western the household is, butlers and maids being predominantly western compared to the more general servants that rich eastern households are seen as using. That's been done, and the purpose of the scene this line is in is to show in general how endearing Akane is, and how her sister and Daiki take that. Suddenly putting in the butler's lack of reaction, as well as how Daiki is actively scanning him with his quirk to see the butler's emotions before you write Daiki's own reaction somewhat breaks the flow and causes him to stand out in this kind of peculiar way to me.
Akane looked around at the room that once was the image of Japanese tradition and now looked like an English noble's tea room with a devilish smile on her innocent face. "I know how to convince him."
This feels a little wordy, as well as redundant given how often the western style of the house has been touched on. It also implies that the room's decorations have something to do with how she'll convince him, but I can't quite make the connection on how so beyond how much Koga loves his daughters.
[X] About that workout regime… (BODY roll. Low DC. Will give +1 permanent BODY on a success.)
Whilst I'm tempted by that trait it would require us to succeed a roll with our lowest stat and I would like Daiki to at least be as fit as a regular person by the time UA starts
