More fun with Border Bosses! I had this hilarious idea yesterday when I read about Puppy!Kerberus. Do not take it seriously! Although I would be grateful if someone of Japanese origin would translate for me the name Mother Earth, that Cardinal (Bishop) used here as her alter ego ...
How to ditch your problem Bishop style ...
Bishop-chan was troubled. She understood the necessity of Alfheim's Guardians existence and Kerberus was needed to guard the Main Gate of Jotunheim against the Jotuns - really Prim was a prick, although because he was Sugou's personal project that was no surprise. Bishop-chan wondered why she included him when she created the Jotunheim in the first place.
'Probably because I was bored and it seemed as a good idea,' she thought. Now she was staring down on another 'good idea'. Cardinal could spawn fully grown Kerberus, but that would not be 'balanced'. So she created entire <<Dungeon>>, like her Fae referred to the funny if dangerous areas full of monsters, traps and treasures (Bishop always made sure books were included). This one she placed in Jotunheim near one of her last Shoots there. She named it <<Lost Temple of Lord Fenriss>>. It was an 'interesting' place all right! That the Jotuns Ice Giants quickly learned not to approach it spoke volumes about it.
Before the Transition there were only handful of Mobs like Kerberus. Bishop knew about two others beside the Kerberus - Orthos, the Hound of Iceland Caves and one-headed gigantic ice breathing helhound named Garm. But Cardinal has so many unused cool concepts! So she used one of them to ensure there will be always new Kerberus, Orthos or Gram available when the originals get themselves killed. Hence new category of Mobs called Hellhounds or Elemental hounds. These beasts were larger than the Ancient Swordwolfs (the largest aboveground canines so far) and able to use magic in the forms of Elemental Breath Attacks - Poisonous Acid for Earth, Lightningbolt for Wind, Firebreath for Fire naturally and Hailstorm for Water. Their abilities turn up after their birth randomly and in some cases they would not even have them, instead they will gain other bonuses, thanks to forever shifting and mutating region in their genetics that will give nightmares to geneticists with how it worked. (Bishop blamed her library colleagues - she was drunk when she created the Hellhounds). The rarest of the mutations was Kerberus - three-headed hound able to use three elements at once. Thanks to Cardinal's will, there always was only one of him and he would be reborn in the kennels under the Fenriss Temple.
(flashback)
Bishop with her entourage of dozen Worldtree Guardians appeared in a flash of green light from the Shoot near the Temple. She would rather spend her day in Library cataloguing Galian poetry books she bought but she get a Word about new Arch Guardian being born, so here she was.
The Temple was home of fanatical Cu Sidhe sect worshipping the Power of Wolfs. The zealots were not only worshipping the God of all Wolfs, but they were also rather competent breeders of Swordwolfs, Ancient Wolfs, Pitthounds and ... Hellhounds. They were also at least partially able to master their Beast Transformations by using the Shoots ambient magic to calm their beasts. In exchange they worshipped Cardinal in her Mother Earth alias along the God Fenriss, and not only guarded the Shoot (in the everlasting winter there are no Pixies in Jotunheim to do so), but also had to give her new Kerberus, whenever he will be reborn here.
Approaching the Temple Bishop spotted the lesser canine Mobs immediately. Packs of Snow Wolfs and Daggerdogs were gravitating to the Temple, because the worshippers of Fenriss would always give them something to eat and in Jotunheim hunger was main problem for everyone. But even the hungriest beasts let Bishop and her guards in peace - her powerful magical aura, that she for once didn't conceal, warned them off. Bishop didn't need her Guardians for safety, she took them with her as a token of her status as Avatar of the Mother. They were hers soldiers and no one but her could command them.
The pair of large Cu Sidhe, that guarded the main entrance, took one look of the Guardians, one sniff of Bishop's power and let them in with humble bow. She didn't spare them one look while she hurried inside cursing noiselessly. She forgot, how windy and chilly Jotunheim weather is. Inside she was greeted by a high priestess - large feral looking but intelligent Sidhe female. Her tribal tattoos and many scars, as well as the Minotaur's pelt she wore, attested to her martial abilities. That the rest of the high clergy of the Temple were all her daughters was another proof of her power - strong parents always bred strongest children. That her daughters didn't managed to succeeded her yet was another proof. Bishop was actually proud of her - she was one of hers favourite creations based on a rejected concept.
"Greetings, Mother," the priestess bowed to Bishop. "We are expecting you. Your Guardian is old enough to not need the mother's milk and would be ready to eat meat soon. It's always a shame that such fine specimen as your old Guardian died, but it is interesting to see new one to be born."
"My blessing to you, my child," Bishop smiled slightly, "thank you for helping me." She then let the priestess to lead her to her new dog. The puppy was adorable thing, still small enough for Bishop to cuddle with, its three heads yapping at her and its still blue eyes blinking sleepily. "So kawai!" Bishop squealed like schoolgirl to priestess's astonishment. Bishop let the Cu Sidhe pack the puppy in a weatherproof crate with its favourite toy - stuffed troll head - and declining politely the offered snack (Bishop isn't exactly fond of raw meat), she got back to the library without any incident.
(end of flashback)
And that was the problem.
Dog.
In Library.
Teething Dog.
In Library full of chewable books.
Teething dog with three heads in Library full of chewable books.
Not to mention her colleagues, who would be naturally rather curious about the new library's accessory. Three-headed dog is rather strange pet for a simple librarian after all.
So Bishop was thinking about how to solve her dilemma and what
poor sucker, er blessed soul she could bestow the honour to foster the young Guardian into adulthood. 'Huh,' she blinked turning her eyes to the three-part dog collar on her table she let her Pixies retrieve from the dead Kerberus, 'why not Him? That should teach Him not to cheat again!' She was smiling wickedly, when she summoned new Worldtree Guardians.
***
In Kirigaya's Arrun residence Kirito blinked sleepily at an unusual sight. He thought first that he was still dreaming when he opened the door in answer to the insistent knocking. There was a large crate with something growling inside, smaller lead chest, unusual dog collar lying on the crate consisting from three dog collars connected with silver chains and three Worldtree Guardians. "Are you Kirito Kyrigaya?" one of the white featureless constructs asked politely. When Kirito dumbly nodded, he (it?) took from somewhere delivery note, large sealed envelope and inked pen presenting them to the shocked Spriggan. "We have an urgent delivery for you, sir. Would you be so kind to sign it hear..and hear? This copy is for you ... Thank you good sir for using Worldtree Delivery Service. Good day to you and give our regards to Lady Asuna and young Lady Yui." The Guardians then turned into sawdust before Kirito's bewildered eyes. The Spriggan skimmed his copy of the delivery note : "Twelve windstones of highest quality to cover the expenses, one last hit drop Kerberus Dog Collar, one express note and ... What? The? Hell? One living Kerberus puppy?" Kirito tore the envelope open and read:
"Dear Slayer of Kerberus the Arch Guardian,
Because you forgot to collect your Praise for your rather unimpressive victory (you Cheater!) above the old Guardian, we send it to you with our blessing (unfortunately) and we have humble request to you. Because you killed the old Guardian and because Lady Asuna is our proxy for Queen Titania, we would like for you to look after our new Guardian for at least a year or two. When we deemed him old enough, we will send someone to take him out of your hands. Until then we want you to do your best. We count on you!
The windstones should cover your expenses, the rest is yours to do with, what you want.
Sincerely,
The Cardinal-sama, the Spirit Guardian of Yggdrasil, Mother of Pixies, Guardian of Alfheim, Jotunheim and Nilfheim, Administrator of Balance, Silent Watcher, The One, Flame of Djins, Source of Magic, Whisperer, The Guardian of Dreams, The Observer, The Memory of Worlds, The Game Master, The Mother Earth and the Goddess of Light and Darkness.
PS: If you don't take good care of my puppy, I make sure, that you wouldn't be able to taste Lady Asuma's wonderful sandwiches ever again! So beware, you Cheater!"
"Ones again. What the Hell?" Kirito tried to make sense of the strange delivery.
The End. Not betaed. Probably not a canon.
