THE DEATH OF EVA QASVAH JABURO
Descent
Eva remembers being taken to museums in the Divine Monarchy on a handful of occasions when she was younger. Usually as part of some diplomatic trip or another. At that age, she was simply too young to understand the various works of ancient art and culture displayed in those halls. A Grand Exhibition of the Preserved Past, generously funded and protected by the Cult.
There was one painting though that always stuck in her mind. Its imagery, remaining vivid past the haze of time and memory. Of an angel descending upon a waiting horde of their rebellious fallen brethren, ready to strike them down for defying God. Mama used to point at things like that and all the other big and ancient churches to claim how they, the Catholic faithful, were once masters of the world.
Eva wonders, as she descends into the waiting maelstrom of beam fire and energy attacks, if someone will immortalize this moment for her. A lone angel facing off against a legion of demons waiting for her.
To devour her whole.
"COME THEN, SERAPHIM! YOU'LL HAVE TO DRAG ME FROM THE NEMESIS LIMP AND BROKEN!" Eva yells through the speakers filled with grandiose bravado. A rush of bravery that she truly doesn't feel.
Despite the relief she felt at her enemy revealing itself before her, she has to make a conscious effort to bury any fear in her heart. Eva winces as another lance of pain tears through her mind. The long spoken about Psychic powers of the Seraphim wash over as Eva grits her teeth and tries to force her way through.
She feels the workings of a well-oiled and organized machine, built for an ancient war mere Earthians like her only live in the shadow of. The Seraphim
fought in it and now the machine is turned fully against her. Noise fills Eva's ears, feelings that seemingly come from nowhere, sounds emerging wholesale from the aether along with the words they carry.
She buries the fear deeper.
Yet despite that, Eva dances, she twirls and weaves between the heavy concentrated fire of the angelic legion. Nemesis dances for her as she closes the distance slowly but surely, using what's likely her intuition to dodge side and rear attacks from those damnable funnels. Any hits or strikes that slip by her, splash mostly harmless against her suit's I-field, a veritable lightshow marking her descent.
She's sure it makes for a beautiful sight, all the beams spraying around her creating the facsimile of a butterfly's wings.
She readies Nemesis' primary armament to strike, a long beam rifle with heat blades on both sides, the weapons glowing red with destructive intent.
She'd chosen her first target carefully, a Series-1 slightly, mere milliseconds honestly, slower than the others. But in battle such margins are everything. Her suit's thrusters flare as she closes in and—
Eva leaps as she's been taught and made to practice by the teachers, dance instructors and all the tutors. But something goes wrong and as she lands, she slips. Pain lances through her small body as her foot bends the wrong way; she hits the well-polished wooden studio dance floor in a humiliating heap.
All around Eva, her young peers and fellow daughters of the nobility, laugh and mock her failure. Only stopping at the harsh reprimand of the nun serving as their instructor. They're not afraid to laugh at her like this, a mere minor princess and one not even attending the lessons openly, but as someone else. A false identity to keep the royal charges safe. But embarrassed and shamed Eva might have been, it wasn't them she was worried about.
Sitting by a waiting area, dressed as a Princess should be, is one of her sisters. An older one born of the Queen and not like her, someone born of an affair with a lower courtier. Legitimized only due to the personal affection the King had for Mama.
Her sister, with eyes glowing a baleful red (did she always have red eyes?), stared at her in disdain. To her, Eva was a disgrace. An imposition, a reminder of her father's philandering ways, and someone not even fit to be a Princess.
A mistake—
Eva dry heaves and flinches, the split second of distraction, seized by her target to dodge inches away from the Heat Blade that would've gored them in their cockpit. A killing blow turned into merely a crippling one, as the Heat Blade sinks into the Series-1's side with a deafening screech.
Eva's unable to follow up and finish the job, as a squadron of bit funnels fire on from every direction and in such quantity she won't escape unscathed. She's forced to disentangle herself by tearing her weapon out from the enemy suit, leaving molten slag, rather than in towards its pilot.
She flies away, dancing—dodging and weaving, firing her vulcans in opportunistic moments to destroy at least some of the funnels harassing her. Around her, the sea of emotions shift, where once there was the hunters satisfaction at a trap successfully sprung, now there's amusement and the condescension of seeing someone embarrass themselves.
Most indignant to Eva are the flashes of pity aimed at her, her cheeks flush red with embarrassment and humiliation. As if dragging old buried memories would be enough for them to know her!?
"Petty fucking tricks!" She forces her mind shut, throwing the Psychic probes away from her skull, slightly lessening her headache. Eva resists the urge to tear the wedding veil off of her face, some delusional sense of pride in her own appearance remaining despite the heat of battle.
The battle continues, multiple close calls on both ends; a beam aimed at her thrusters only clipping the Nemesis' leg due to a last minute dodge. Heavy gunfire forcing Eva away from a crippled Type-S depriving her of the satisfaction of a kill. Fire from her Beam Rifle being dodged at the last moment, destroying only funnels and the jungle landscape in bright flashes of white. Leaving behind burning trees and ashen craters in its wake; and on and on it goes.
They poke at her mind, probe at its edges for anything to tear out and devour, she doesn't give them the opportunity. She can't give them one. A weakness in the enemy will be covered by their comrades; a weakness from her, any one at all, would be fatal.
She tracks the movements of her enemies' attacks through the Nemesis' full panoramic view. Eyes darting left and right, reacting and dodging as needed, she's destroyed who knows how many bits and funnels now, but still not a single dead Seraphim yet to her name.
Her senses alert to an attack from behind, right above her and Eva's forced to expel more precious propellant to evade fast enough, at this rate she'll be forced to walk the Nemesis to her wedding—
She said the wrong prayer.
The ceremony stops in its tracks as she stumbles through the words, cheeks flush in embarrassment. If she had merely said it wrong or said another prayer to the Cult entirely, it would've been fine. Just another stupid mistake for a stupid girl.
But she said a Catholic prayer, and from how the various priests, clergy and laymen were glaring at her, they noticed it as well. She looks to Mama for guidance, but she's praying deeply intensely under her breath, almost like she's shaking.
Next to Mama was Father, who was ignoring the whispers going on all around him. Like he's above it all, untouchable by such menial things. Maybe he is. Eva still hates him though.
Eva goes back to being quiet, mumbling what she can remember of the right prayers for the Ceremony of the Reborn Sun. But she knows she's in trouble for this, she almost wishes she was. Because that'd mean it'd be her who gets punished instead of Mama. Princesses don't get punished, which isn't fair. She's always the one doing naughty things even when she shouldn't.
Eva tries to reach out to Mama, to say she's sorry for saying their private prayers, but is stopped when she feels someone glaring at her. It's more than just the scary stares of the Cult people, it feels like someone is trying to hurt her with their eyes alone. Daring to turn in the direction of that strange feeling of being perceived, Eva sees her.
The Cardinal of Jaburo.
She's an old, old woman, wrinkly and thin in the way that almost makes her seem like a skeleton wrapped in skin and made to walk and talk. And she's staring at Eva with red eyes full of deep malice and disdain. Like she's looking at something scraped off from under her boot. Slowly but surely, the Lady Cardinal turns her gaze away from Eva and towards…Mama…
No! They should take Eva away instead!
Try as Eva might, she cannot speak up nor raise her voice. She cannot cry out as two Cult Inquisitors go and take Mama from where she was praying. The last thing she remembers of Mama is her crying praying face.
Eva never saw Mama ever again.
You killed your Mama, didn't you, Eva?
An ungodly wail of agony tears itself out of Eva's throat. She forces the tears down, quivering and shaking as snot drips down from her nose and ruins her dress. A wound buried deep deep in her heart, one she'd only shared with Bea. Torn out and exposed for an entire procession of demons to see, to jeer and mock at.
If they only mocked such things, disdained her weakness, her petty hangups, it would be acceptable. But there it is again, that cloying feeling of being
sympathized, of someone thinking they can ever understand her. She can barely tolerate it from Bea most days, who are these demons in human skin and voice thinking they are?
"GET OUT OF MY HEAD!" Eva snarls as she dives once more past the barrage of attack from all directions, pushing the Nemesis to its utmost limits. Claxons blaring in her ears, warning her of increasing battle damage, her I-Field running dangerously low.
The fight, if it could be called one, continues. She is firmly on the backfoot in this dance, each strike she makes is repaid two fold. She spends more time dodging, than forcing others to dodge.
Her Beam Rifle is running low, and all it's done is cripple some and destroy what seemed to her an unending number of bits and funnels.
All that effort and still not a single kill. She weaves past the near infantesimal gaps between each enemy attack, like a rider jumping from horse to horse to outrun the ground collapsing behind them.
But that's all she can do. To squeeze a few more minutes until…
Until what? Help arrives? There is no force in the Margraviate, nay the entire hemisphere, that can amass in under an hour and defeat the full might of Seraphim levied against her.
It starts to sink in.
Eva's going to die here. There's no escape. She's—
In that basement again. The stench of death surrounds her. It's what lies at the bottom of that Ocean of Blood, what she fears going to wake up to everytime she sleeps.
Where the past eight years, highs and lows, triumphs and defeat, have all been nothing but the fevered last delusions of a dying little girl.
A world with only the dead for company. Their unblinking red eyes staring at her, waiting for her to die as she should. Everyone in her family is here, waiting for her to die.
Bea cannot reach her here, Bea cannot save her here. Bea does not love her—
Eva snarls in utter outrage, forcing herself out of whatever illusion the Seraphim had tried to trap her in again. She had never once doubted Bea! How dare these hellish abominations try to claim otherwise.
Pure instinct drives her now, no more thoughts nor plans or evasion. She moves and dances as if Nemesis is her true body, her soul freed from the imperfect meat puppet handed down to Eva by her biological forebears.
Eva can feel a presence above her, stronger, more real than the others. It's the one with the red eyes, she doesn't know how she knows this, but she's utterly certain of it. She has but one shot at this.
Eva closes her eyes and waits for the perfect moment, leaving the piloting to what she's learning are her own Psychic powers. A fact that she can no longer deny, when it's those very powers keeping her alive at this point.
She sees it—no, feels it. That one in one quadrillion chance of making it out of here, the next horse she has to leap towards to survive. A slim narrow window where there's nothing between her Beam Rifle and the cockpit of that Type-P, commanded by that wretched witch with red eyes.
Her last miracle.
She has to mask her intentions though, the moment they realize what she's planning, it's over. The dance continues, but slowly and surely reaching its end. Eva can feel it and she's sure the Seraphim can as well. She can't keep this up for much longer.
It's time.
As natural as she can make it, she dodges out of the way of rifle-fire from one of those strange suits below, and aims
up. Towards the enemy commander.
Domina Gunn.
She almost misses it, out of the corner of her eye is a Series-1. Rushing towards the Type-P to push them out of the way of her attack. It's too late to adjust, too late to change course. All she has left to her is to pray that it's enough.
With one last desperate roar, Eva fires.
A white streak of death erupts like a lightning bolt from her Beam Rifle, the world grows still as the playful and domineering moods of the psychic auras around her shift to surprise and panic. As it nears Gunn, who tries desperately to evade, Eva can do nothing but relish in the moment, brief as it may be. The Seraphims wedding gift to her.
It's almost too good to be true, and as Eva quickly realizes, it is. By the barest of milliseconds, the Series-1 had made it before her attack, pushing the Type-P away by inches. Her attack scythes through the arms and extremities of each machine's left and right respectively, but it's no kill.
It's no miracle.
Eva closes her eyes shut and slumps back in her seat, her breathing ragged from exhaustion and her skin sticky from sweat, the cockpit's air conditioning having shut down some time ago. Her wedding dress ruined both by the constant tossing and turning of combat and the mess caused by her sweat. It's a shame too, Bea picked it out for her.
But despite her own exhaustion, despite her pounding skull with its unceasing headache, no death is forthcoming. What are the Seraphim doing?
With great hesitation, ignoring the blaring warnings of the Nemesis' system warning her of the crumbling state of the suit, Eva opens her eyes to see what's going on.
She feels it first before she sees it. Throughout the battle, her enemy's Psychic emanations filled the battlefield in a thick haze, wherever she went, wherever she ran or dodged, there was near constant pressure on her. Like a weight pushing down on her forehead threatening to crush it.
This was different, the tempo and movements, discernible only if she focused. All around her the Seraphim move in a rhythm that she wasn't invited in, one she can only observe but never touch. Her dance is, afterall, over.
There were no more discernible feelings from the Seraphim, no way to identify or separate them from one another. Just a solid wall of mental energy, of
power, grim-faced like that of an executioner.
It crawls up her throat like bile, sending shivers all across her body. A pathetic little whimper forces itself out of her mouth. Involuntarily she tries to make herself smaller, to shrink down away from the coming threat.
Despite her desperate attempts to keep it down, to maintain a brave face even at the end, as a Villainess should; Eva was afraid.
So, so afraid.
It's the pain that wakes her. The blaring claxons served more as lullabies, their warning lulling her to sleep. She had passed out.
Eva's body creaks forward as she slowly pulls herself together, wiping the dribble of spit and foam that had begun to overflow from the corner of her mouth with her the sleeve of dress.
What happened—
Eva could barely recognize her brother, and she assumes the reverse is true with how gaunt and pale she's gotten while recovering. Gone were the fancy modern and foreign suits he preferred, Leo's wearing an officers uniform. He's holding her hand tight, tears in his eyes, as she struggles to breathe.
Pain lances its way through her body as her leg injury stops her from moving. Leo says something but she barely understands in her half-delirious state. At least Leo's never abandoned her, never left her. The only one of her half-siblings to have cared for her, after Mama…vanished.
A gasp tears itself from her throat as the events of minutes (hour?) flood its way back into her mind. Such concepts like time no longer matter, her world has been reduced only to the Nemesis' cockpit, most of its screens deactivated due to damage, all bathed in an otherworldly red glow.
Eva starts to feel it then, the pressure, laying down on her from every conceivable angle. Squeezing her until she pops and spills red. If the prior probes could be compared to needles, poking at her skin until they find something and sink deep, then this would be the equivalent of knives jabbing at every at every inch of skin all at once.
Using overwhelming force to force its way through any resistance she could hope to throw up. The pain is agonizing, her hands remain clutched to the Nemesis' controls, her knuckles white from her death grip upon them. An army bearing down on her skull to split it open.
She exits the rare and ancient simulator hesitatingly, despite the glowing praise levied at her for her test results. It's one of Gran Columbia's—Jaburo's only Mobile Suit Simulators. The technicians claimed she was a natural at it, but she really didn't care all that much. Her attention was consumed by her brother, who was looking at her not like he was her sister, but as a chess piece.
Slowly but surely a scream tears its way out of her mouth. Her mental Jaburo, a place that only she can see, that only she can know. A beautiful towering metropolis reaching to the heavens, currently being besieged by a pale white heavenly host. The attack is constant, never ceasing and never ending.
Going against every trained instinct in her body, Eva releases both of her hands from the Nemesis' controls, freeing them to clutch at her head in agony. Despite how much pain she's in, shutting her eyes does nothing, screaming her heart out does nothing. Has she tried begging yet?
Eva waits in the canopy, her E-Flat hidden as best it could be, waiting for their scouts signal to ambush the rebel column. Her blood curdles at the thought of more death, of more bloodshed, even if the rebels had…taken everything from her, she's still not comfortable killing when they're not in a suit.
"P-please, STOP!" Eva's voice feels pathetic, wavering even in pleading for her life. Tears are starting to flow, her breathing getting more and more deep and ragged as the pain gets worse and worse. She flails and struggles against the confines of her seat. Despite her hands no longer controlling Nemesis, the suit moves and flails with her, Eva's last companion.
She can feel it coming, a breach. After that, everything will be laid bare. Nothing will remain of her.
She will be known.
She stands behind a door, secretly listening in on her brother. What he says sinks her heart. Words Eva couldn't understand—no, refused to understand filled her ears. There's no possible way she could ever be a burden to her brother! Maybe…maybe she needs to do more. More battles, more missions, more blood for Leo. She has to do this, Leo is the only person she has left.
STOP! A mental wall has crumbled, her image of her own brother, a person she's so desperate to avenge. The one she clings to as proof that her family wasn't horrible. That the problem was always her.
She was nothing more than a piece to him, the only one he loved was Gloria.
The demons, in the psychic shapes of wolves, bears, vultures and ravens tear, tear and tear. Deep into her gut, as they pull, pull and pull—
Eva pukes onto dirt as she climbs out of the lake. She's finally killed that damnable T-Type, who's been menacing her the entire war. Even if it had cost her brother's E-Type, she had done it. As she lays on the ground, chest burning from having to swim for the first time in her life, she stares at the tangled remains of her E-Type and the rebel T-Type jutting out from the waterbed.
She feels nothing.
She looks at Jaburo still in the midst of its liberation from the rebel despots who had squatted on it for far too long.
She feels nothing.
It's no longer her Jaburo, her Jaburo is dead.
Another constant in her life for the past few years, gone. All that remains is—
"Nononononono, please, she's all I have. She's the only thing that matters to me anymore." Eva pleads with as desperate a voice as she can.
She admits that she deserves this, to be torn apart limb from limb by the demons of hell Mama always told her about. She'd accepted that price when she accepted that crown, that if she failed, only hell awaited her.
But please, leave Bea! Leave her heart—
Bea was first introduced to Eva as a wing-woman, one to replace her old one. Her commanding officer thought it was hilarious that they looked identical. And to be fair, it was kinda funny.
STOP!
They fight together, they kill together, they laugh together and when a fellow dragoon is lost they cry together. Sometimes they understood one another in a way they could never understand themselves. Like sis—
Eva digs her nails into the sides of her shoulders, deep enough to puncture her dress. Deep enough to pierce skin and make herself bleed. She half mumbles prayers to beg for god's forgiveness to no avail. God will not forgive her.
The demons pull her heart from its place, from the throne where it belongs and tear arteries to gnaw it down until nothing is left. Nothing left of her.
Why do you deny it, Eva?
You know the truth after all.
The thought first wormed its way deep into Eva's mind during a night like any other. The two of them lay in bed together, with only the dim light of a lamp illuminating the room. For all her skulking in the shadows, Bea was always a heavy sleeper. Sometimes Eva feels they could sleep past her getting kidnapped.
Egotistical it might seem, but Eva loves looking at Bea's sleeping face. There's a difference in looking at herself through a mirror or a photo. She gently caresses the person she loves as Bea sleeps soundly. One could almost mistakes them as sis—
Eva howls as the pain drives her mad, she tries to claw at her throat, to kill herself to no avail. There would be no easy escape like that. A monster like her needs to be punished, we are nowhere near the end quite yet, Princess.
There were labs and hospitals all across the good nations of the world. Many of them had access to some ancient technology or another, so it was little issue to arrange for a DNA test with one that had such an option in hand.
Eva says nothing as the results burn in the fireplace. The agents who had retrieved it for her, sworn to secrecy under pain of death. She might have them disposed of later anyways if her mood doesn't improve.
The DNA analysis is certain of it, Beatrix Bradamante is her Sis—
Half of her heart breaks. A wretched taboo dating to even before man killed itself in that final apocalyptic violence. Something that would change how Eva and Bea viewed each other forever.
And yet, Eva never told her.
To spare her the pain? To maintain their dynamic, to maintain their relationship or to keep Bea all to herself? Would their love survive such a revelation?
Do you even really love Bea, Eva?
Eva has no response but to cry, to scream and to wail in despair.
But that's only half of her heart, another half yet remains to be devoured. After all, that was not the only investigation Condor had conducted. That's their specialty after all. Aside from murder.
She does not remember what began that nugget of suspicion in Eva's mind. Maybe a slip of the tongue, or an incongruity within the internal records of Condor itself. They usually swapped places and roles when they felt like it. Bea as Princess, and Eva as her Shadow.
A discrepancy led to an investigation and in time, another burning document in the fireplace. This time Eva is alone.
She stares at it emptily, feeling the full weight of its contents burn deep into her. Another swig of alcohol might make her forget, might bury this secret deep until it can never be found.
Might make her forget that Bea had Eva's brother killed.
The rest of her heart breaks, torn to nothingness by demons in the guise of angels. Or would that be the other way around? It's her punishment after all. A Divinely ordained one. Perhaps she was a bit too hubristic naming her suit Nemesis.
Bea killed her brother and hid it from her. The details of Leo's betrayal were included but does that matter? Did Bea hide it to spare her the pain? To keep control of her and live like she should've at birth?
Does Bea even actually love you, Eva?
Eva is silent now, her trashing has stopped, whether through exhaustion or the mental toll of a full psychic attack, she could no longer move her limbs. She lay limply on her seat, her arms bloodied from scratching lay on the side. She sees herself stare blankly at the wall, blinking intermittently. She can't even move her head.
Finally, the Seraphim pull away from her mind. It's too late though. A desolate landscape devoid of thought, of hopes and dreams. Leaving only a broken Jaburo surrounded and flooded in an ocean of blood of Eva's own making.
Belatedly, Eva realizes that Nemesis is falling. Is this it? The Seraphim ambush her and break her body and mind?
To be left for the Amazonians to despoil as they please? Eva wonders if the Amazonians would be willing to try and hang a woman drooling and unable to move a muscle. They probably would. She wouldn't blame them though.
The fall and Nemesis jerk to a sudden halt. Something has caught her.
Soon the cockpit door opens.
The animal urge to flinch away at sudden light does not come to her body, still remaining motionless. Fortunately for her she can still see small mercies to thank God for.
There Eva sees the face of her enemy. And who else it could be, but Domina Gunn. Her piercing red eyes matched upon a cruel-faced expression beneath jet-black hair will haunt Eva for the rest of what seems to be her short life.
Every step Domina makes causes Eva to flinch away terrified, to whimper like an animal. Her body cannot respond however, so she's simply drooling and humiliating herself in front of the woman who ruined everything.
Domina, with surprising tenderness, brushes aside Eva's wedding veil, which had fallen back into place from all her trashing, and roughly grabs Eva's cheeks and forces the Princess to look up. Straight into the Seraphim's eyes.
Red.
So red it would resemble an ocean of blood. So red you sink in them and never emerge from for a thousand years. And Eva sinks.
Sink and sink and never emerge.
That moment stretches to eternity, beyond the boundaries of seconds, minutes and hours. Beyond time itself.
Eva lays there motionless, sitting limply at her cockpit seat, sitting uncomfortably on her cold throne, floating aimlessly in an ocean of blood and viscera, staring at a sky littered with smoke and blackened clouds.
Eva can barely think, can barely hear in this state of existence. Her eyelids feel impossibly heavy, the urge to sink and rest in the depths of her own mistakes calling to her. But someone isn't letting her.
Domino is there, like a splotch of pure white on a red canvas, light seeping into a claustrophobic prison of a cockpit glowing red from alerts and warning sirens. In this dream -like haze, only she is real.
Both of them were down to the clothes they were born with, yet neither of them feel shame. Eva is too numb to care that someone other than Bea sees her in such a state. Exposing herself in such an intimate manner. The Seraphim had already seen and delved deeper than this.
Domino feels no shame because before her stands a corpse. Does a person feel shame to be exposed near furniture? Tto stand bare before a mirror and other dead inanimate objects?
Confess, Eva Qasvah Jaburo and be forgiven.
The Seraphim's words echo throughout this liminal space, reaching to the ends of its universe. Domina speaks with the authority of something ancient. Going back to that first moment of human connection between two shining examples of the new type of man.
Only God can forgive, but in this moment of infinite time, Domina is God.
Confess? They had already taken so much from her, of her, that such a thing is unnecessary. And yet, the word brings to mind things Eva had long buried. Sins and Regrets alike.
Eva speaks of the war she had caused, of the millions she's killed indirectly and tens of thousands directly in the control of Nemesis. Does she regret starting the war or does she regret losing it?
She's long grown accustomed to forcing her way through life, that as long as everything turned out alright for her in the end, then everything else became secondary. Her mouth spills the deepest secrets of the Jaburian state, the truth of that petty excuse that had caused the war in the first place.
They had panicked, Eva had to admit. The arrival of the Seraphim in Amazonia demanded a response and the CanMexicans were already on edge, paranoid as they were thanks to years of effort on Condor's part.
So Bea and her had thought up of that scheme, they merely disagreed with the specifics. Bea wanted the faked rebel attack, to create a national insult, a specter of the Civil War dragging itself back from the grave. Such a thing sat uncomfortably for Eva. Ordering good and loyal men, people who trusted her, to die curdled her stomach. So she offered an alternative.
An assassination attempt. A Condor agent playing the part of a rebel assassin will try to kill Eva on the anniversary of her brother's death, during a ceremony held in his honor in Bogota. Bea refused to even consider it, though now she wonders if there was more to her suggestion and to her lover's refusal than she had thought at the time.
In the end, it was her own petty desire for control that won out. For the assassination attempt to be believable it needed to have barely failed. In order words she needed to have nearly died, to lay in bed and recover like a Princess should. She was sending people out to die anyways for her, why did it matter.
Maybe that's why she was so thrilled to find the Nemesis. Divinely ordained punishment. Her punishment. To struggle at the front like the many she condemned. Maybe the moment she had stepped into Nemesis, this ambush was inevitable.
She sounds so pathetic saying all of that out loud. Eva truly deserves hell.
Confess, Eva Qasvah Jaburo and be forgiven.
She regrets many things, but in the moment before Eva's death she regrets being so cruel to Angelica.
The girl truly doesn't deserve it, the isolation and harsh training they had secretly put her through. Feeding into Gloria's paranoia was a simple matter, Eva had Bea to cling to after Leo died. Gloria only had her work and her baby.
And so Angelica grew up with no friends other than the ones she reads of and thinks of in her own mind. She was Eva's heir as well so she needed to be trained and groomed properly. Like a proper lady. Bea had been the one to suggest that to Gloria, who agreed to having her beloved child be made into a proper Princess in honor of the late Margrave Prince.
It's sickening thinking of it. Her own frustrations and the angers of her youth being taken out on a child that actively looks up to her. Eva even had the same dance instructor that taught her assigned to Angelica. And all for what?
Because she was jealous. That she thought Angelica had stolen her brother's affections away from her. It was those months where the war began to grow desperate and seemingly unwinnable. Eva had been surrounded in a coterie of diehard reactionaries, men and women who opposed any reform, any concession to the rebel scum. Puppets of James.
It's no wonder Leo made that choice, she's sure it wasn't easy for him. She knows truly that Leo never hated her, that there were simply too many moments of genuine love and care for all to have been faked. She simply chose Gloria and Angelica over her.
Eva understands. She chose Bea over him after all.
She feels the hate wash away from the ruins of her heart. Childish grudges and old wounds of youth, now no longer clouded by the emotion and haziness of an incomplete memory.
Her siblings weren't entirely cruel to her, they were rarely nice either but who would be in their situation.
Father.
What an ugly word. She still hates him even now, a small metal spike driven into where an artery should be, not even the Seraphim could dislodge it, nor were they interested in doing so. A serial philanderer who played his children and wives and mistresses against one another. Forcing all to beg for scraps of attention from a man who ran his Kingdom the same way.
No wonder Gran Columbia revolted. She just wishes her family didn't have to die for it.
Eva wishes he's in hell, burning. She'll find out soon enough.
Maybe that's why she hates James so much. From what Catarina told Eva in her rare moments of vulnerability, James was a different sort of petty tyrant to his family. The difference between a Mustang and Thoroughbred. She wanted CanMex to bleed for her ambitions, it's why she dragged them into the war in the first place.
Bleed her puppet master dry, holding the bait of American dominion over his head, and the threat of the Seraphim behind him. And once Amazonia had been secured, once Eva had her prize, she would thank him.
By blaming him for the false flag.
It would've been lovely, Condor would've slowly but surely made politics in the Divine Monarchy so tumultuous that neither the Cult nor Javier could stop it. Revealing that the millions dead, soldier and civilian was the plot of one man, she would've used it to unite Jaburo and Amazonia in hate. The latter would have been the Mexico to her Canada, its people fed complacent and fat with treats plundered from Chile, Argentina and Bolivia.
Though she supposes it doesn't matter now, with Eva about to die the war is lost. And she suspects that the Seraphim had already revealed the truth to the world. It's what she'd do.
It's what she deserves.
Confess, Eva Qasvah Jaburo and be forgiven.
What else is there to say? What else is there to speak of that the angels haven't torn out from her?
…
She loves Bea, she loves her more than she loves herself, more than anything in the universe. Despite the lies, the truths, the schemes and plots; Eva loves Bea because she cannot bear being without her.
Being near Bea energizes Eva, like an intoxicating drug she can free herself from. Nor would she want to.
She loves her eyes, she loves how she laughs, she loves how she scratches herself when she thinks no one is looking, she loves how she smells every morning when they wake up cuddled together, nothing between them but air and the sheets of the bed. She loves her despite being sisters, she loves her despite her brother's death, she loves her despite the arguments and all the turmoil and stress this war has caused.
Forcing herself to marry someone other than Bea, to have someone else's lips touching hers, broiled Eva's stomach. She's sure that the ZOLON Prince is a fine man.
He simply is not Bea.
She would drag herself limp and bloody through the pits of hell, through the ocean of blood they had made together, for Bea.
Eva just wishes she hadn't damned Bea alongside her. She deserves Heaven like Mama.
Despite her heart in tatters, torn to shreds by the angels, it still beats. And that's enough.
With that last thought, Eva begins to feel herself fade away. Eyelids too heavy to keep open, thoughts too cloud to keep thinking. Soul too burdened to keep living.
At least the Seraphim has shown her that God is real, that she's going to be punished for all that she's done. That Mama is in heaven where she should be.
Mama used to say that the angels wept for sinners, but please don't cry for Eva, Mama. She brought this on herself.
She feels someone lift her. Her body still refuses to respond, and why would it, it's a corpse. In the half delusional state near death, she thinks it's Bea. Did she finally decide to put on some more muscle? If Bea is so insistent in being her knight, she should at least work out more.
Eva giggles softly at the thought, a noise echoed by the corpse being bridal carried. Right, she was supposed to go to a wedding. When the war began; Bea and her agreed that they should get married afterwards, no one could stop them then even if they wanted to if they were successful.
Bea and her will have a lot to do after their wedding. Belem will need to be repaired, electricity and water access restored to all of the provinces. Amazonian designed dams and power plants will spread across Jaburo finally bringing that old decrepit mondist state to the future. Bea was always insistent on those two things, 'Electricity and Running Water equals Royal Power' she always claimed.
Rest, Eva Qasvah Jaburo.
Right, the celebration must've tired her out. She feels light strike her eyes, the glare of the afternoon sun recognizable even in her state. What a lovely day for her wedding.
Rest, Eva Qasvah Jaburo.
For the last and final time, Eva closes her eyes and sinks. Not into an ocean of blood but into the great sea of the human soul. Bea's name repeated on her lips over and over.
Rest, Eva Qasvah Jaburo and never wake again.
Thus, Evangelista Qasvah Jaburo, Bloody Princess and pilot of the Nemesis, died.