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Feline Problem Solving Techniques

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Interlude: Meanwhile in Boston
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    • "Citrine, after many interactions with these Travelers, I have come to the conclusion that they are nothing more than a liability. This is especially applicable to the unstable cloning cape they have with them."

    "Do you want them killed?"

    "I am still trying to decide that. If my associate Coil were still alive, I would be inclined to fob them off on him. However, his fatal poisoning renders that no longer an option."

    There was a minute of silence as Accord thought.

    "Upon further consideration, I can identify no plausible situation in which leaving the Travelers alive as is beneficial. It would be better by far if they were to simply never be heard from again. This is to be an assassination, not a fight; much as that murderer in Brockton Bay's tactics have proven annoying in the short term, I cannot deny their effectiveness."

    "Understood, I'll see to it."

    "Eliminate Noelle and Trickster first; they are the least psychologically stable among their group, and also present the most opportunity for problems."

    The next morning, the Travelers were no more.
     
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    • Facing The Numbers
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    • I'd barely finished checking Lisa for weapons (she was unarmed), when I heard a faint and very odd noise behind me.

    I ordered Ms. Night {If Lisa tries anything, kill her!} as I whirled around.

    I got a glimpse of a man in a suit stepping through a portal from an all-white facility just before it closed.

    The Numbers Man. I would have been less scared if they'd sent the Contessa.

    Staring the intruder dead in the eyes and baring my teeth in a threat display, I asked "Why are you here?"

    I could kill him right now; he was within my conjuration radius, meaning I could materialize any number of horrible things inside his body at a thought. But with Cauldron's resources, I really didn't want to risk becoming their enemy unless absolutely necessary.

    After an intense stare-down, Kurt flinched. Then he answered.

    "Your activities have provided Cauldron with the experimental data we were looking for regarding Brockton Bay. You cannot be allowed to continue high-profile killings of Parahumans for much longer, or we will not have the powered manpower required to deal with events further down the line."

    Hrm. How much to tip my hand. Fuck it, all the way.

    "I am fully aware of your 'plan' to kill Scion, and why he needs to die for humanity to survive. Putting it bluntly, your methods are stupid and playing right into the Entities' hands. Infesting more people with genocidal alien brain worms doesn't solve the problem of genocidal alien brain worms. What you should have done was find the most technologically advanced Earth without any Parahumans you could, and have them science the shit out of the Thinker's carcass in order to fully claim those capabilities for humanity's use."

    The Numbers Man stood silently for a few seconds, processing what I'd said.

    "You are implausibly well-informed. I am quite curious as to the source of your information."

    "For me to know, and you to never find out."

    In the background, I noticed that Lisa had gone near-catatonic from the information bomb I'd dropped and the ensuing Thinker headache. Fuck her.

    "I could quite easily arrange for you to be captured and interrogated, now that I've gotten a good look at you. Why shouldn't I?"

    Meh, the world would have found out about it eventually anyway.

    "I am going to kill the Simurgh during her next attack. In order to be absolutely certain that my attack method will work, I cannot inform anyone else of it beforehand. Well, anyone who isn't a blindspot to precog anyway."

    "That sounds like empty bluster. Still, I am sufficiently intrigued to give you one opportunity to prove your claims. If you fail in your self-appointed mission or attempt to reveal Cauldron's existence to the general public, you will be killed."

    I nodded in understanding, still not taking my eyes off the Number Man for a moment.

    "Door me."

    With that, Cauldron's goon vanished from my apartment. I whirled around to face Lisa, getting to see her staring at Ms. Night with an expression of pants-shitting terror on her face.

    After a moment, I pondered what exactly to do with Lisa. After this, I couldn't allow her to stay in Brockton Bay. All my methods to coerce her to leave and stay gone would meanwhile let her rat me out to the authorities. There was a single inevitable conclusion.

    Apparently, Lisa reached this conclusion a few moments before me. Panicking, she blabbered out "I'll leave and stay gone and not rat you out I promise!"

    As I conjured two grams of dissolved Sodium Cyanide inside Lisa's bloodstream, I answered.

    "I can't take the risk of believing you. Sorry." {Ms. Night, do not bite. She has been poisoned.}

    {Got it.}

    I quickly suited up while Ms. Night monitored Lisa's vitals. As soon as her heartbeat stopped, I went into full on "get rid of the body" mode. Lugging the corpse over my shoulder, I rappelled out my apartment's window and made my way into the relatively nearby trainyards. As soon as I was certain there weren't any observers nearby, I gave Lisa one of my Thermite cremations.

    As soon as I got home, I remarked to Ms. Night {We need to move home. Now that Cauldron knows where we live, this place is not safe. Sorry for the lack of snuggles tonight.}

    {I understand, Catherine. I wish I could help with that.}

    That explanation to my roommate and partner completed, I got onto the internet and started looking for vacancies. Particularly, ones that allowed cats. This had to be prioritized over nearly everything else, including cleaning up the Merchants and the last few Nazi capes.

    By midnight, I'd managed to find a place that roughly fit all the requirements. By three in the morning, I'd finished checking for scams and making damn sure the people I talked to actually were the correct ones. By six in the morning, I'd made the down payment for first month's rent and arranged to move in as soon as possible. I deliberately didn't leave any sort of notice of moving out; information denial was even more important once Cauldron was involved.

    I proceeded to rent a U-Haul, load up everything of mine I cared to bring, and promptly drove to the new location. By the time I'd finished unloading and returned the truck, it was well into the afternoon. I immediately slumped down on the couch next to Ms. Night, who promptly curled up on my lap. Ugh, that was exhausting.

    ...Didn't have the energy to cook anything properly, so it was going to be microwave meals for me. Oh well.
     
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    • ….. I feel like that was both entirely unnecessary and rather disruptive to the story.

    Edit: both cauldron interrupt and Lisa.
     
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    We Just Write said:
    What you should have done was find the most technologically advanced Earth without any Parahumans you could, and have them science the shit out of the Thinker's carcass in order to fully claim those capabilities for humanity's use.
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    Huh? Cauldron was allowed to access an earth without parahumans? An earth outside of entity/shard control?

    Through Doormaker? Doormaker's shard? From an entity?
     
    Souffle said:
    Right, why would doormaker's shard allow that? I mean, i guess there's not really anything saying that it wouldn't, but I'm not particularly sure if it would just let them go to another Earth without shard presence or permission.
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    They have access to multiple utterly empty Earths. It's a decent sized set of planets and not all of them even have humans; so link up the worlds with the best theoretical physics, engineering, etc and get to work with the resources of a hundred untouched planets.
     
    Interlude: Assessments
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    • Emily Piggot had called together another meeting of various PRT and Protectorate staff, this time to discuss the events of Thursday.

    "To review, two days ago we caught our first face-to-face glimpse of Safari, and we now have a reasonably good idea of her appearance and some clues as to her abilities. Safari is a young woman estimated to be in her mid-twenties, with an approximately caucasian skin tone and outright black hair. In addition, she has some physical mutations; she has a furry tail, and pointed ears akin to a housecat. That said, her protective visor and respirator have prevented us from getting a good look at her face."

    "As for what Safari was doing Thursday, we found three corpses. Lung, Bakuda, and a third burned beyond all recognition by Thermite. That last one was probably another unplanned kill. So, given all this, what can we conclusively say about Safari?"

    Velocity indicated a desire to speak.

    "First, I'm pretty sure that Safari deliberately spared me. She also deliberately spared the troopers in the van that was pursuing her. Given her demonstrated ability to make a wide variety of objects appear out of nowhere, she could have picked vastly more lethal options than a spike strip and glue. That said, I'm not sure if this is due to a very warped idea of heroism; or simply a pragmatic desire to avoid unnecessarily making enemies."

    After thinking for a moment, it was actually Assault who spoke up.

    "I honestly think it's more likely the warped sense of heroism. If she were trying to avoid making enemies, she failed spectacularly when she killed Shadow Stalker. However, if Safari happened to know of Shadow Stalkers pre-Wards activities, she could have viewed it as either self-defense or putting down a mad dog."

    Triumph got a bit of an odd expression there, as if that sparked a train of thought. Whatever it was, he didn't voice it yet. Instead, Director Piggot answered,

    "Given what all of Safari's actual targets have done as a matter of public record, I honestly find that quite plausible. Still, we really should consider all the possible motives she might have, so as to better predict her behavior."

    Only now did Triumph indicate his desire to speak.

    "This is going to sound really really stupid, but I honestly think Safari might think more like a cat than a human."

    Miss Militia sighed,

    "Triumph, what have I told you about profiling mutated capes by their physical differences?"

    "That it's wrong and I shouldn't do it. But in this case, I think it's more accurate than just about anything else. We've seen what happens when a human gets powers; that's how the whole Cape scene works. But Safari doesn't play by those rules at all. She doesn't posture, doesn't get in unnecessary fights, and generally doesn't treat hostile capes as rivals. She's treating them as prey."

    "When they have the opportunity to strike from ambush, cats of all species don't play with their food. They go for an immediately lethal attack, to eliminate any and all chance of their prey retaliating. This exactly matches what we've observed Safari doing. This also matches the tendency for stealth and covert observation, and perfectly explains the deliberate use of non-lethal force on Velocity and the van."

    Assault asked,

    "So you're saying we should put out a catnip dispenser and a scratching post on every street-corner and just wait for her to show up?"

    Triumph facepalmed as Armsmaster shot Assault a death glare.

    "While that is certainly an interesting comparison, I fail to see how it helps in tracking down Safari."

    Triumph nodded,

    "I'm thinking her mindset is dead simple when you get right down to it. She views her targets as a threat to herself and those she cares about - maybe people in general - and therefore treats them as prey. But she doesn't view most heroes in that light, and therefore treats us as more of a general annoyance. With some actually acceptable targets to aim her at, she could probably be a pretty good hero."

    Everyone blinked. Piggot actually blinked twice. Before an argument could start, there was a knock on the door of the meeting room.

    Deputy director Renick sighed,

    "Come in."

    In came Ruby, a low-level clerk.

    "Er, there's a minor situation. Dinah Alcott has shown up in the lobby, along with a teenage girl named Taylor, and a young woman with feline features. They say they really need our help, but don't want to talk about why in the lobby on account of opsec reasons."

    Everyone's jaw dropped.
     
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