Feline Problem Solving Techniques
- Thread starter We Just Write
- Start date
- Superhero
Nazi Removal Service
We Just Write
Blatantly Plural
- Location
- New England
- Pronouns
- Plural
I'd had a pretty good day at work today. The clients were all decent and reasonable people, the pay was pretty good, and the jobs hit the sweet spot between difficult enough to be interesting, but not enough to be frustrating.
As I was getting ready to go home for the night, Mr. Stent asked "Tonight's the night, isn't it?"
I smiled,
"Yep."
"Happy hunting, Cat."
As I left work, I couldn't help but notice Lisa watching me from a nearby bench.
"So, finally figured out my day job?"
"Yep."
Internally I mulled over whether to bring Lisa in on what I was doing tonight. She'd make a pretty good spotter, but she was also a manipulator by nature. Ultimately I decided not to include her.
"You do realize that if I catch you watching me at home, I'll have to do something about you, right?"
Lisa nodded understandingly. Excellent, my 'fuck off' signal was received loud and clear.
I mulled over conjuring a tracker in Lisa's pocket as I walked away from her, but she'd definitely notice that. And given the nature of her abilities, it was imperative to deny her as much information as possible.
I'd be getting all my sleep in one chunk tonight; my planned hit was relatively early in the evening. For the last few days, the Empire 88 had been trying to figure out what to do about me. Having already bugged the shit out of the pharmaceutical company building they used as a front, they ever so helpfully told me when and where they'd be having the big strategy meeting about my activities. Ten PM, meeting room twelve at Medhall.
Dinner eaten and fellow feline snuggled, I suited up in my tactical gear. Getting over to the Medhall building took about half an hour at a jog, then I climbed up on a building where I could get a clear shot on the meeting. Tapping the feed from the bug in that room, I could clearly hear the Nazis calling their meeting to order, using cape names and everything. It was kind of sad that Rune was in attendance; she could have hyptothetically turned her life around still. I wasn't about to lose any sleep over blowing her up, though.
I'd spent several days mulling over the exact variety of explosive I would be firing through the window into the local batch of super-powered Nazis. Even with all the exotic chemicals I could conjure, it would still take multiple kilograms of payload for an explosive warhead to take them all out to a satisfactory degree of certainty. That's why I opted for nuclear.
I conjured the special round, and loaded it into my .700 Nitro Express. Double-check my earplugs and protective goggles, use the infrared laser rangefinder to be absolutely certain of how much to compensate for projectile arc, aim, and fire. One second later, the nuclear bullet hit. A dumbell-shaped mass of Californium slammed together, and a nuclear fission runaway began, releasing energy roughly equivalent to a metric ton of TNT.
The fireball would have been blinding if I hadn't worn proper protective gear. As it was, it was still unpleasant to look at. Then the boom, hit, and I was even more glad I was wearing earplugs. Removing the goggles, I could clearly see that I'd blown a multi-story hole in the side of the Medhall building.
...It might still stay up for a while, depending on how well it was built in the first place. I certainly didn't want to stick around to find out, though.
As I hurriedly made my exit, I mentally inventoried everyone who I knew was at the meeting. Kaiser, Krieg, Fenja, Menja, Crusader, Rune, Alabaster, Night, and Fog. Of them, Alabaster was the only one who might have maybe survived. That meant Hookwolf, Cricket, and Stormtiger were still alive, since they hadn't been in attendance. I'd have to track them down and take them out later, assuming they stayed in town.
They might.
Anyway, that mission over, I went home, got myself cleaned up, and got some sleep.
The next morning, my exploits were unsurprisingly all over the news. Apparently, Alabaster had survived; a fortunately timed bathroom stop spared him from the worst of the blast. Emergency workers opted not to dig the not-exactly-regenerating Nazi out of the rubble until the PRT got there to arrest him.
The Parahuman Response Team un-surprisingly decried my "reckless and destructive" actions, though I really didn't care. No-one working late at Medhall last night wasn't clued in about the company's neo-nazi affliations.
That said, I wasn't the only user of explosives to hit the news. Further afield, a bomb Tinker calling herself Bakuda had made her debut by holding Cornell university hostage. Though her plot was foiled, she'd gone to ground in the aftermath, and authorities did not currently know her location.
Oh, I knew where she was going though. Step into my lair, said the cat to the soon-to-be-dead mouse.
...Given the damage Bakuda would do if I didn't successfully intercept her, I would almost certainly need to recruit some help to identify her approach corridor.
Taylor would be quite helpful with insect surveillance, but couldn't be everywhere. I didn't want anything to do with Lisa AKA Tattletale if it could be avoided. But come to think of it, there was one more Thinker in town. An extremely powerful predictive modeler by the name of Dinah Alcott.
Now it was just a matter of figuring out how to approach the Mayor's niece for help without attracting unwanted attention. Oh if only I were the quadrupedal variety of cat, this would be so much easier; unfortuntely, I couldn't just cute my way in like that.
Then I looked to the black cat sitting next to me on the couch. I couldn't cute my way in, but perhaps Ms. Night could do it for me.
As I was getting ready to go home for the night, Mr. Stent asked "Tonight's the night, isn't it?"
I smiled,
"Yep."
"Happy hunting, Cat."
As I left work, I couldn't help but notice Lisa watching me from a nearby bench.
"So, finally figured out my day job?"
"Yep."
Internally I mulled over whether to bring Lisa in on what I was doing tonight. She'd make a pretty good spotter, but she was also a manipulator by nature. Ultimately I decided not to include her.
"You do realize that if I catch you watching me at home, I'll have to do something about you, right?"
Lisa nodded understandingly. Excellent, my 'fuck off' signal was received loud and clear.
I mulled over conjuring a tracker in Lisa's pocket as I walked away from her, but she'd definitely notice that. And given the nature of her abilities, it was imperative to deny her as much information as possible.
I'd be getting all my sleep in one chunk tonight; my planned hit was relatively early in the evening. For the last few days, the Empire 88 had been trying to figure out what to do about me. Having already bugged the shit out of the pharmaceutical company building they used as a front, they ever so helpfully told me when and where they'd be having the big strategy meeting about my activities. Ten PM, meeting room twelve at Medhall.
Dinner eaten and fellow feline snuggled, I suited up in my tactical gear. Getting over to the Medhall building took about half an hour at a jog, then I climbed up on a building where I could get a clear shot on the meeting. Tapping the feed from the bug in that room, I could clearly hear the Nazis calling their meeting to order, using cape names and everything. It was kind of sad that Rune was in attendance; she could have hyptothetically turned her life around still. I wasn't about to lose any sleep over blowing her up, though.
I'd spent several days mulling over the exact variety of explosive I would be firing through the window into the local batch of super-powered Nazis. Even with all the exotic chemicals I could conjure, it would still take multiple kilograms of payload for an explosive warhead to take them all out to a satisfactory degree of certainty. That's why I opted for nuclear.
I conjured the special round, and loaded it into my .700 Nitro Express. Double-check my earplugs and protective goggles, use the infrared laser rangefinder to be absolutely certain of how much to compensate for projectile arc, aim, and fire. One second later, the nuclear bullet hit. A dumbell-shaped mass of Californium slammed together, and a nuclear fission runaway began, releasing energy roughly equivalent to a metric ton of TNT.
The fireball would have been blinding if I hadn't worn proper protective gear. As it was, it was still unpleasant to look at. Then the boom, hit, and I was even more glad I was wearing earplugs. Removing the goggles, I could clearly see that I'd blown a multi-story hole in the side of the Medhall building.
...It might still stay up for a while, depending on how well it was built in the first place. I certainly didn't want to stick around to find out, though.
As I hurriedly made my exit, I mentally inventoried everyone who I knew was at the meeting. Kaiser, Krieg, Fenja, Menja, Crusader, Rune, Alabaster, Night, and Fog. Of them, Alabaster was the only one who might have maybe survived. That meant Hookwolf, Cricket, and Stormtiger were still alive, since they hadn't been in attendance. I'd have to track them down and take them out later, assuming they stayed in town.
They might.
Anyway, that mission over, I went home, got myself cleaned up, and got some sleep.
The next morning, my exploits were unsurprisingly all over the news. Apparently, Alabaster had survived; a fortunately timed bathroom stop spared him from the worst of the blast. Emergency workers opted not to dig the not-exactly-regenerating Nazi out of the rubble until the PRT got there to arrest him.
The Parahuman Response Team un-surprisingly decried my "reckless and destructive" actions, though I really didn't care. No-one working late at Medhall last night wasn't clued in about the company's neo-nazi affliations.
That said, I wasn't the only user of explosives to hit the news. Further afield, a bomb Tinker calling herself Bakuda had made her debut by holding Cornell university hostage. Though her plot was foiled, she'd gone to ground in the aftermath, and authorities did not currently know her location.
Oh, I knew where she was going though. Step into my lair, said the cat to the soon-to-be-dead mouse.
...Given the damage Bakuda would do if I didn't successfully intercept her, I would almost certainly need to recruit some help to identify her approach corridor.
Taylor would be quite helpful with insect surveillance, but couldn't be everywhere. I didn't want anything to do with Lisa AKA Tattletale if it could be avoided. But come to think of it, there was one more Thinker in town. An extremely powerful predictive modeler by the name of Dinah Alcott.
Now it was just a matter of figuring out how to approach the Mayor's niece for help without attracting unwanted attention. Oh if only I were the quadrupedal variety of cat, this would be so much easier; unfortuntely, I couldn't just cute my way in like that.
Then I looked to the black cat sitting next to me on the couch. I couldn't cute my way in, but perhaps Ms. Night could do it for me.
- Location
- Pale Blue Dot
Dinah: "Chance Coil will have me didnapped this year? ...0%. Huh. Chance someone else will ask me questions, knowing I'm a parahuman, within two weeks? 82.613%. Oh oh... Chance someone will kidnap me withing two weeks? ...1.9% Okay! That sounds much better. ...I wonder how and when those questions will happen..?"
Interlude: Kitty!
We Just Write
Blatantly Plural
- Location
- New England
- Pronouns
- Plural
Dinah was at home when the doorbell rang. She paid it no mind; her parents often had people over. Still, she overheard the brief conversation at the door.
"Sorry to bother you, but I've been tracking my cat all over town today. She's a short-furred black cat with a blue collar. Pretty sure she jumped the fence into your back yard. May I come and get her?"
Then she heard her father say,
"Wait here please; I'll just check the backyard real quick, and see if I can get her to come out here."
Two minutes passed, Dinah's interest being piqued.
"Er, sorry miss. Your cat is here, but every time I come near she starts hissing at me. I think you may need to come in and get her."
"I'll come see if I can calm her down. She's usually a lot more cuddly than this, so something must have riled her up."
Dinah watched as a young woman wearing jeans and a hat walked through the house, coming by holding a beautiful black cat shortly afterwards. Then something unexpected happened; as soon as the cat laid eyes on Dinah, she sprang from her human's arms and darted over.
As the cat inspected Dinah (apparently expecting to be petted), she overheard the young woman say in an exasperated tone of voice "Sorry, she's usually not like this, I swear."
As Dinah gave into the silent demand for petting and got nuzzled by the black cat in return, she overheard her father laugh.
"It's alright, seems your cat has taken a liking to my daughter. I'll let you take a few minutes to gently persuade her to come with you. As for me, I need the bathroom."
With that, the young woman wandered over and sat in a rather odd position on the floor next to Dinah, as her father wandered off to the bathroom.
"So, I see you've gotten acquainted with Ms. Night."
Dinah nodded happily, even as the cat in question curled up on her lap.
Then the young woman looked around as if checking for eavesdroppers, before removing her hat. Much to Dinah's shock, this revealed a pair of real live kitty ears, along with a lack of human ones.
"I have to confess; I asked Ms. Night to act up in order to contrive a reason to meet you. I speak fluent housecat, and she was fully on-board with the plan."
Blinking, Dinah couldn't help but ask "Why?"
The young woman put her hat back on as she answered,
"I know about your power, and I could really use your help. Someone very dangerous is coming to Brockton Bay soon, and I need to predict how she'll arrive to keep her from hurting thousands of innocent people."
Chances of a newly arrived villain hurting lots of innocent people in Brockton Bay within the next month: 84.53%
Chances of that happening if I help this kitty lady: [ERROR]
Flinching in pain, Dinah started to tear up.
"Eesh, sorry. You tried to factor me into a prediction, didn't you?"
Silently, Dinah nodded.
"So, a quick primer on how your power works behind the scenes. It gets a detailed scan of the world, and then does predictive modeling on that to figure likely outcomes, before returning a statistical result. Due to me being weird in very specific ways, your power can't get a good scan of me and therefore has a hard time predicting me."
Dinah blinked.
"Don't think your dad will be on the toilet much longer. Can you meet me at this address tomorrow? Preferably around lunchtime."
With that, the kitty lady handed her a sticky note with an address listed.
96.55% chance of going to this place at this time being uneventful, without significant problems resulting.
Dinah nodded, and the kitty lady got up. Ms. Night climbed up onto her shoulder, and off the two of them went.
"Sorry to bother you, but I've been tracking my cat all over town today. She's a short-furred black cat with a blue collar. Pretty sure she jumped the fence into your back yard. May I come and get her?"
Then she heard her father say,
"Wait here please; I'll just check the backyard real quick, and see if I can get her to come out here."
Two minutes passed, Dinah's interest being piqued.
"Er, sorry miss. Your cat is here, but every time I come near she starts hissing at me. I think you may need to come in and get her."
"I'll come see if I can calm her down. She's usually a lot more cuddly than this, so something must have riled her up."
Dinah watched as a young woman wearing jeans and a hat walked through the house, coming by holding a beautiful black cat shortly afterwards. Then something unexpected happened; as soon as the cat laid eyes on Dinah, she sprang from her human's arms and darted over.
As the cat inspected Dinah (apparently expecting to be petted), she overheard the young woman say in an exasperated tone of voice "Sorry, she's usually not like this, I swear."
As Dinah gave into the silent demand for petting and got nuzzled by the black cat in return, she overheard her father laugh.
"It's alright, seems your cat has taken a liking to my daughter. I'll let you take a few minutes to gently persuade her to come with you. As for me, I need the bathroom."
With that, the young woman wandered over and sat in a rather odd position on the floor next to Dinah, as her father wandered off to the bathroom.
"So, I see you've gotten acquainted with Ms. Night."
Dinah nodded happily, even as the cat in question curled up on her lap.
Then the young woman looked around as if checking for eavesdroppers, before removing her hat. Much to Dinah's shock, this revealed a pair of real live kitty ears, along with a lack of human ones.
"I have to confess; I asked Ms. Night to act up in order to contrive a reason to meet you. I speak fluent housecat, and she was fully on-board with the plan."
Blinking, Dinah couldn't help but ask "Why?"
The young woman put her hat back on as she answered,
"I know about your power, and I could really use your help. Someone very dangerous is coming to Brockton Bay soon, and I need to predict how she'll arrive to keep her from hurting thousands of innocent people."
Chances of a newly arrived villain hurting lots of innocent people in Brockton Bay within the next month: 84.53%
Chances of that happening if I help this kitty lady: [ERROR]
Flinching in pain, Dinah started to tear up.
"Eesh, sorry. You tried to factor me into a prediction, didn't you?"
Silently, Dinah nodded.
"So, a quick primer on how your power works behind the scenes. It gets a detailed scan of the world, and then does predictive modeling on that to figure likely outcomes, before returning a statistical result. Due to me being weird in very specific ways, your power can't get a good scan of me and therefore has a hard time predicting me."
Dinah blinked.
"Don't think your dad will be on the toilet much longer. Can you meet me at this address tomorrow? Preferably around lunchtime."
With that, the kitty lady handed her a sticky note with an address listed.
96.55% chance of going to this place at this time being uneventful, without significant problems resulting.
Dinah nodded, and the kitty lady got up. Ms. Night climbed up onto her shoulder, and off the two of them went.
We Just Write
Blatantly Plural
- Location
- New England
- Pronouns
- Plural
C: Gonna rewrite some dialog to give the characters more emotion.
- Location
- Canada
I guess that last prediction is totally inaccurate, considering Dinah is demonstrably incapable of predicting the cat lady. Seems rather foolish to rely on it.
We Just Write
Blatantly Plural
- Location
- New England
- Pronouns
- Plural
C: First round of emotion-adding edits done. Tweaks made to:
-Hunting the Oni... And a few Nazis
-She Followed Me Home, can We Keep Her?
-Interlude: Two Other Teenagers
-Hunting the Oni... And a few Nazis
-She Followed Me Home, can We Keep Her?
-Interlude: Two Other Teenagers
Languages spoken by Catherine:
We Just Write
Blatantly Plural
- Location
- New England
- Pronouns
- Plural
- English (native speaker)
- German (minimal competence)
- Northeastern American Housecat (native speaker)
-- Conversational in North American Housecat in general
- Eastern Mountain Lion (conversational)
- Bobcat (conversational)
- Canadian Lynx (conversational)
- Mesoamerican Jaguar (roughly conversational)
- American Tiger (Roughly conversational)
- Snow Leopard (Academic)
- Bengal Tiger (Shouting At Foreigners)
- North African Lion (Shouting At Foreigners)
- German (minimal competence)
- Northeastern American Housecat (native speaker)
-- Conversational in North American Housecat in general
- Eastern Mountain Lion (conversational)
- Bobcat (conversational)
- Canadian Lynx (conversational)
- Mesoamerican Jaguar (roughly conversational)
- American Tiger (Roughly conversational)
- Snow Leopard (Academic)
- Bengal Tiger (Shouting At Foreigners)
- North African Lion (Shouting At Foreigners)
- Location
- new york
that was so amusing to me.
Crosspost Announcement!
We Just Write
Blatantly Plural
- Location
- New England
- Pronouns
- Plural
C: This fic is now available on Questionable Questing! Updates will be posted there first, then shortly crossposted to SV.
Barbaric Bob
The Barbaric One
- Location
- Soon to be plundering a village near you
I too speak housecat
*bats a glass from the table and stares with disdain at the nearest human*
*bats a glass from the table and stares with disdain at the nearest human*
- Location
- Pale Blue Dot
That's some SERIOUS roaring!
And let's not forget you just insulted a lion or a tiger. *cough*
Welcoming Preparations
We Just Write
Blatantly Plural
- Location
- New England
- Pronouns
- Plural
The address I'd invited Dinah and Taylor to was an ice cream stand. I figured that if I was going to ask people for help with something this important, the least I could do was get them ice cream. In addition, there was significant distance between the picnic tables. With my hearing and Taylor's bugs, we could make quite certain no-one was eavesdropping.
As it turned out, both of them arrived at almost exactly the same time.
"Excellent, you're both here. Taylor, this is Dinah. Dinah, this is Taylor. I asked both of you to come because I need your help, but first I'm buying both of you ice cream."
Dinah didn't miss a beat, asking for one scoop butterscotch and one scoop chocolate. Taylor took a bit longer, but ultimately settled on strawberry. As for me, I got mint ice cream, but no chocolate.
Ice cream acquired, we went to the most isolated picnic table available.
Taylor asked "So, I know you want my help with Bakuda because I can have eyes on a wide area at once, but what does Dinah bring to the table?"
Dinah answered without prompting "I can predict the future. It comes out as numbers though, and my head hurts really bad if I ask too many questions."
Taylor whistled appreciatively "Wow, no wonder Cat wanted your help."
I nodded as I unrolled a map of Brockton Bay, then pointed at a specific building near the mostly abandoned trainyard.
"From my eavesdropping on Lung, Bakuda's supposed to meet with him here in four days. If we do this right, she'll never get within half a mile of him."
I started pointing to roads on the map.
"With the -- no offense -- terrible state of Brockton Bay's roads, there are only fourteen viable routes from city limits to the meeting point, assuming Bakuda goes by car. If we handle this as a binary search tree, we can narrow things down to the most probable route within five questions. The first of which is to determine if Bakuda is in fact coming by car."
Dinah frowned, "I can do five questions in a row, but it's going to hurt really bad."
I nodded sadly.
"If you need to, we can split the questions up over multiple days. We've got some time."
The precocious precognitive grit her teeth.
"No. This is too important. 97.8% chance of Bakuda coming by car. 1.5% chance of coming on foot. 0.7% chance of her stealing an airplane or helicopter."
I blinked. That was very useful information indeed. And also indicated that I should save up some conjuration to make a MANPADS, just in case.
"Thank you, Dinah. Now, let's narrow down her likely choice of road."
Two questions later, we'd narrowed things down to three possible routes, all of which Taylor could monitor at once.
I noted to Dinah, "This is plenty good enough, if you want to stop. We've got better than 95% odds of successfully intercepting Bakuda now."
Taylor watched intently as Dinah thought. Then Dinah answered.
"I know it's going to hurt a bit, but I'm going to ask one more question. I've got an idea for using my power better in the future, and I want to check if it works."
Taylor and I both nodded. Then Dinah grabbed a pencil and started writing on the map.
"Chances of Bakuda taking each of these three routes: 23.9%, 44.1%, 31.0%. That... That hurts a bit, but a lot less than I thought it would."
I nodded.
"Thank you Dinah. If you want, you can go home now."
Dinah shook her head.
"Nope. I'm helping with the plan every step of the way. I don't want any of my friends getting blown up."
Taylor nodded.
"I don't have very many friends, but I'm in the same boat. I'm helping. So, how are we handling the interception?"
I nodded, then pointed to a location on the map.
"You'll be waiting here with a walkie-talkie. When Bakuda comes through, you radio it in and tell me what route she's on."
I pointed to another location.
"I'll be waiting here with my .700 Nitro Express. When I get the signal, I'll move to cover the route Bakuda's on. When she comes by, I'll shoot out the car's engine. A follow up shot once Bakuda gets out of the car, and the job's done."
Dinah raised a hand, then scrunched up her face as a Thinker headache hit.
"How are you and Taylor going to recognize Bakuda's car? Even if she told Lung what she's currently driving, there's only a 21.5% chance that she'll still be driving that particular car when she gets here."
I blinked. That was a very good point. It wasn't a problem I could solve by conjuring up the right tool either.
Thinking out loud, I noted,
"Yeah, that's a really thorny problem. Off the top of my head I can't think of an easy solution. There is strictly speaking another Thinker I know about who could possibly help, but I really don't want to get her involved unless it's absolutely necessary."
Taylor raised an eyebrow.
"What's the issue with her?"
"She's got an overwhelming urge to be the smartest person in the room, a power that's obscenely good at piecing together disparate bits of information, and a personality highly inclined to emotional manipulation."
"It's a very dangerous combination, which is why I've been trying to keep her out of my affairs and not give her anything she can really use against me."
Taylor Hebert winced in sympathy.
"Eesh, no wonder you don't want anything to do with her. She reminds me far too much of what school was like, until recently."
There was a brief pause, before Taylor admitted,
"Still doesn't actually solve the problem of recognizing Bakuda's car though."
I nodded sadly.
"If I can't figure something out in two days, I'll get Lisa's help. Despite my distaste for her, we can't risk Bakuda getting established."
That's when Dinah spoke up,
"You know I can just start narrowing down what car Bakuda's going to be driving when she gets here, right? So long as I space the questions out, it won't hurt too bad."
I shared a brief glance with Taylor, before replying "That would be very helpful, thank you. I'll make sure to pay you back somehow."
As it turned out, both of them arrived at almost exactly the same time.
"Excellent, you're both here. Taylor, this is Dinah. Dinah, this is Taylor. I asked both of you to come because I need your help, but first I'm buying both of you ice cream."
Dinah didn't miss a beat, asking for one scoop butterscotch and one scoop chocolate. Taylor took a bit longer, but ultimately settled on strawberry. As for me, I got mint ice cream, but no chocolate.
Ice cream acquired, we went to the most isolated picnic table available.
Taylor asked "So, I know you want my help with Bakuda because I can have eyes on a wide area at once, but what does Dinah bring to the table?"
Dinah answered without prompting "I can predict the future. It comes out as numbers though, and my head hurts really bad if I ask too many questions."
Taylor whistled appreciatively "Wow, no wonder Cat wanted your help."
I nodded as I unrolled a map of Brockton Bay, then pointed at a specific building near the mostly abandoned trainyard.
"From my eavesdropping on Lung, Bakuda's supposed to meet with him here in four days. If we do this right, she'll never get within half a mile of him."
I started pointing to roads on the map.
"With the -- no offense -- terrible state of Brockton Bay's roads, there are only fourteen viable routes from city limits to the meeting point, assuming Bakuda goes by car. If we handle this as a binary search tree, we can narrow things down to the most probable route within five questions. The first of which is to determine if Bakuda is in fact coming by car."
Dinah frowned, "I can do five questions in a row, but it's going to hurt really bad."
I nodded sadly.
"If you need to, we can split the questions up over multiple days. We've got some time."
The precocious precognitive grit her teeth.
"No. This is too important. 97.8% chance of Bakuda coming by car. 1.5% chance of coming on foot. 0.7% chance of her stealing an airplane or helicopter."
I blinked. That was very useful information indeed. And also indicated that I should save up some conjuration to make a MANPADS, just in case.
"Thank you, Dinah. Now, let's narrow down her likely choice of road."
Two questions later, we'd narrowed things down to three possible routes, all of which Taylor could monitor at once.
I noted to Dinah, "This is plenty good enough, if you want to stop. We've got better than 95% odds of successfully intercepting Bakuda now."
Taylor watched intently as Dinah thought. Then Dinah answered.
"I know it's going to hurt a bit, but I'm going to ask one more question. I've got an idea for using my power better in the future, and I want to check if it works."
Taylor and I both nodded. Then Dinah grabbed a pencil and started writing on the map.
"Chances of Bakuda taking each of these three routes: 23.9%, 44.1%, 31.0%. That... That hurts a bit, but a lot less than I thought it would."
I nodded.
"Thank you Dinah. If you want, you can go home now."
Dinah shook her head.
"Nope. I'm helping with the plan every step of the way. I don't want any of my friends getting blown up."
Taylor nodded.
"I don't have very many friends, but I'm in the same boat. I'm helping. So, how are we handling the interception?"
I nodded, then pointed to a location on the map.
"You'll be waiting here with a walkie-talkie. When Bakuda comes through, you radio it in and tell me what route she's on."
I pointed to another location.
"I'll be waiting here with my .700 Nitro Express. When I get the signal, I'll move to cover the route Bakuda's on. When she comes by, I'll shoot out the car's engine. A follow up shot once Bakuda gets out of the car, and the job's done."
Dinah raised a hand, then scrunched up her face as a Thinker headache hit.
"How are you and Taylor going to recognize Bakuda's car? Even if she told Lung what she's currently driving, there's only a 21.5% chance that she'll still be driving that particular car when she gets here."
I blinked. That was a very good point. It wasn't a problem I could solve by conjuring up the right tool either.
Thinking out loud, I noted,
"Yeah, that's a really thorny problem. Off the top of my head I can't think of an easy solution. There is strictly speaking another Thinker I know about who could possibly help, but I really don't want to get her involved unless it's absolutely necessary."
Taylor raised an eyebrow.
"What's the issue with her?"
"She's got an overwhelming urge to be the smartest person in the room, a power that's obscenely good at piecing together disparate bits of information, and a personality highly inclined to emotional manipulation."
"It's a very dangerous combination, which is why I've been trying to keep her out of my affairs and not give her anything she can really use against me."
Taylor Hebert winced in sympathy.
"Eesh, no wonder you don't want anything to do with her. She reminds me far too much of what school was like, until recently."
There was a brief pause, before Taylor admitted,
"Still doesn't actually solve the problem of recognizing Bakuda's car though."
I nodded sadly.
"If I can't figure something out in two days, I'll get Lisa's help. Despite my distaste for her, we can't risk Bakuda getting established."
That's when Dinah spoke up,
"You know I can just start narrowing down what car Bakuda's going to be driving when she gets here, right? So long as I space the questions out, it won't hurt too bad."
I shared a brief glance with Taylor, before replying "That would be very helpful, thank you. I'll make sure to pay you back somehow."
Coil is black just so you know so thats a weird bit of dialogue for him.
- Location
- Canada
True, could swap it to looking in a mirror and seeing the white part of his going yellow instead.
LocalCatHybrid
Now I am become floof, the floofer of floofs.
- Location
- You know where...
- Pronouns
- Il/Lui
Wouldn't that only be the whites of his eyes? Honestly never really thought about what jaundice looks like in black people...
We Just Write
Blatantly Plural
- Location
- New England
- Pronouns
- Plural
J: We did actually think about that before writing that sentence. Coil would have visibly changed skin color.
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Interlude: The Investigation Proceeds
We Just Write
Blatantly Plural
- Location
- New England
- Pronouns
- Plural
In the aftermath of the explosion at Medhall, Miss Militia found herself combing through the bomb site for evidence. There were mercifully few corpses present, but the heroine still found herself baffled about why someone would do such a thing. Then Alabaster was arrested and hauled from the rubble.
After some brief interrogation, Alabaster admitted that there had been a meeting of most of the Empire 88's cape roster at the Medhall building at the time of the explosion. More than that, the exact meeting room where it took place was "ground zero" of the explosion. Also that Kaiser had secretly been Max Anders.
That certainly explained why Safari had opted to use such a powerful bomb at the Medhall building. However, it also raised several questions of how exactly the mysterious killer had known enough to target the meeting in the first place.
A few minutes later, Hana was combing through the now-deceased Kaiser's office. Looking in all the drawers, removing a couple of them, and generally going over everything with a fine-toothed comb revealed something that really wasn't supposed to be there: a small device, six millimeters thick and two centimeters in diameter. It seemed to be attached to the underside of the desk with some sort of adhesive.
Shifting her power to a knife, Miss Militia pried the bug from its place and bagged it as evidence. Now knowing what to look for, the rest of the investigating PRT agents found several more bugs, riddled throughout the Medhall building.
Later, Armsmaster and the techs presented what they had learned about the surveillance devices.
"These bugs are entirely comprehensible engineering, but are sophisticated enough that I am genuinely impressed by them. Each is powered by a radioisotope unit delivering one Watt of power, while also having a supercapacitor to store up energy for transmissions. By default, they record every sound they pick up, flag any speech they detect, and transmit it in a burst every twenty four hours. These bursts are encrypted via a one-time pad, and there are evidently signal repeaters in concealed locations to send the information to a central control hub."
There was a pause as the presentation switched to the next slide.
"From there, the operator of the network can sift through the data for anything useful. They can also remotely set any specific bug into a continuous transmission mode for more active surveillance, including active sonar outside the frequency range of human hearing, though the commands for doing so again require matching a one-time pad in order to be accepted."
"In summary, we now have a very good idea of how Safari is locating their targets: they are placing large numbers of surveillance devices all over the city, and using that to track Parahumans to vulnerable locations for assassination. Due to the use of one-time pad encryption, we cannot fully co-opt this network for ourselves. In addition, the use of frequency switching and burst transmissions will make it very difficult to dismantle this network; it can be done now that we know what to look for, but it will not be easy or fast."
That's when Emily Piggot spoke up. "If we map out the network, can we pinpoint the location of the control hub and find Safari that way?"
Armsmaster thought about it for a moment, before answering.
"Possibly. It's certainly worth trying, and I can't think of a better idea at the moment. As one other matter, I believe Safari deserves a substantial Tinker rating."
Emily and Renick both seemed a bit skeptical, but motioned for Armsmaster to go on.
"These bugs are not only powered by something very difficult to obtain in the form of a diamond made of pure Carbon Fourteen, but the way they are assembled would take an atomic resolution three-dimensional printer to produce. In addition, the bomb at Medhall was most likely a small-scale nuclear weapon powered by Californium. There is significant reason to believe that Safari has some way to cheaply produce exotic nuclear isotopes, while also manufacturing items with precision that even I would be hard-pressed to match."
Deputy Director Renick asked,
"So, we should be on the lookout for signs of a Tinker workshop?"
"Yes. That said, we should probably start discussing the exact particulars of Safari's Tinker rating."
After some brief interrogation, Alabaster admitted that there had been a meeting of most of the Empire 88's cape roster at the Medhall building at the time of the explosion. More than that, the exact meeting room where it took place was "ground zero" of the explosion. Also that Kaiser had secretly been Max Anders.
That certainly explained why Safari had opted to use such a powerful bomb at the Medhall building. However, it also raised several questions of how exactly the mysterious killer had known enough to target the meeting in the first place.
A few minutes later, Hana was combing through the now-deceased Kaiser's office. Looking in all the drawers, removing a couple of them, and generally going over everything with a fine-toothed comb revealed something that really wasn't supposed to be there: a small device, six millimeters thick and two centimeters in diameter. It seemed to be attached to the underside of the desk with some sort of adhesive.
Shifting her power to a knife, Miss Militia pried the bug from its place and bagged it as evidence. Now knowing what to look for, the rest of the investigating PRT agents found several more bugs, riddled throughout the Medhall building.
Later, Armsmaster and the techs presented what they had learned about the surveillance devices.
"These bugs are entirely comprehensible engineering, but are sophisticated enough that I am genuinely impressed by them. Each is powered by a radioisotope unit delivering one Watt of power, while also having a supercapacitor to store up energy for transmissions. By default, they record every sound they pick up, flag any speech they detect, and transmit it in a burst every twenty four hours. These bursts are encrypted via a one-time pad, and there are evidently signal repeaters in concealed locations to send the information to a central control hub."
There was a pause as the presentation switched to the next slide.
"From there, the operator of the network can sift through the data for anything useful. They can also remotely set any specific bug into a continuous transmission mode for more active surveillance, including active sonar outside the frequency range of human hearing, though the commands for doing so again require matching a one-time pad in order to be accepted."
"In summary, we now have a very good idea of how Safari is locating their targets: they are placing large numbers of surveillance devices all over the city, and using that to track Parahumans to vulnerable locations for assassination. Due to the use of one-time pad encryption, we cannot fully co-opt this network for ourselves. In addition, the use of frequency switching and burst transmissions will make it very difficult to dismantle this network; it can be done now that we know what to look for, but it will not be easy or fast."
That's when Emily Piggot spoke up. "If we map out the network, can we pinpoint the location of the control hub and find Safari that way?"
Armsmaster thought about it for a moment, before answering.
"Possibly. It's certainly worth trying, and I can't think of a better idea at the moment. As one other matter, I believe Safari deserves a substantial Tinker rating."
Emily and Renick both seemed a bit skeptical, but motioned for Armsmaster to go on.
"These bugs are not only powered by something very difficult to obtain in the form of a diamond made of pure Carbon Fourteen, but the way they are assembled would take an atomic resolution three-dimensional printer to produce. In addition, the bomb at Medhall was most likely a small-scale nuclear weapon powered by Californium. There is significant reason to believe that Safari has some way to cheaply produce exotic nuclear isotopes, while also manufacturing items with precision that even I would be hard-pressed to match."
Deputy Director Renick asked,
"So, we should be on the lookout for signs of a Tinker workshop?"
"Yes. That said, we should probably start discussing the exact particulars of Safari's Tinker rating."
The ABB's End
We Just Write
Blatantly Plural
- Location
- New England
- Pronouns
- Plural
Over the next four days, we managed to narrow things down to the exact car Bakuda would be driving when she got to Brockton Bay: a blue Volkswagen beetle with a Massachusetts license plate, tinted windows, a black racing stripe, and a spoiler. Fairly distinctive, so there wouldn't be much risk of false positives.
Simultaneously, Taylor had been practicing seeing through her bugs like an array telescope until she could identify individual vehicles without any trouble.
So at the date and time in question, everyone was in position. Dinah had opted to stay home, on account of already having provided all the help she reasonably could have.
It was one in the afternoon when Taylor's voice came over the radio. "Cat, I see Bakuda's car! She's on the northern route at about seventy miles per hour, and should be at the intercept point in two minutes!"
"Got it!"
Then I hopped on my motor scooter and zipped off to the ambush location. I quickly climbed a nearby building, and got a clear view of a blue Volkswagen veetle approaching my location at downright reckless speeds. I loaded an Armor Piercing round into my .700 Nitro Express rifle, took careful aim, and waited.
At the point of closest approach, I fired, nailing the car right in the engine. The vehicle started losing speed and making horrible noises, even as I loaded a brasscase and leapt down to ground level.
For a moment, I worried that I'd got the wrong car. Then I saw that the woman getting out was wearing a gas mask and had a bandoleer of grenades for her launcher slung across her chest.
I proceeded to shoot Bakuda in the center of mass before she got her wits about her, then fired six rounds from my pistol into her cranium just to be sure.
Right, one more kill to do today before it was time to disappear. Now that Bakuda was daalt with, I no longer had a need to leave Lung alive. On top of that, I knew exactly where he was: waiting for Bakuda, not expecting a fight.
So I loaded a brasscase, hopped back on my moped, and zipped off to the designated meeting point.
I didn't go in the building and confront Lung, obviously. That would have been stupid. Instead, I climbed around nearby buildings until I got a view of Lung through a window. That's about when Lung figured it was time for a bathroom break or something, and turned towards the window.
We locked eyes for just a moment, scales rapidly spreading across his skin as he spitted my very large gun. Then I finally lined up my shot, and splattered Lung's brains all over the opposite wall. Just to be double sure, I shot the shattered remains of Lung's head a few more times with the Nitro Express. Then I made my exit.
While I made sure to avoid the site of Bakuda's death, out of sheer bad luck I happened to cross the path of a PRT van coming the other way as I made my escape.
They must have seen the rifle slung across my back along with ny other gear, because they immediately did a U-turn and took up pursuit, sirens blaring.
I couldn't let this continue. Not only were they faster than my moped, but they were no doubt telling their friends about me. Ugh, I'd hoped to avoid conjuring stuff where people could see it, but I was out of options. With a wave of my hand, I materialized a spike strip behind me.
The van's tires burst, and they screeched to a halt.
For a moment, I thought I'd successfully escaped pursuit. Then I noticed a figure in red running alongside, easily keeping pace with my moped. Velocity.
I shouted at him "No, I'm NOT going to surrender, if that's your question!"
Then I conjured the stickiest glue I could think of on the soles of his boots.
As a now thoroughly stuck Velocity receeded into the distance, I swerved around a corner. I needed to shake any further pursuit and fast. Couldn't ditch my incriminating gear without taking the time to torch it either, it had my forensics all over it.
Fortunately, I was coming up on a public park. Tree cover, paths too narrow for a PRT van to follow, it was perfect. So I spent plenty of time dodging around there before making my way to the shoreline. Time to check all my gear for trackers Velocity might have tagged me with and ditch-torch the moped.
I quickly whipped up a backpack, field-stripped my rifle and stowed it, stashed my other gear in there after checking it, got into my "totally a normal human" disguise, and torched the moped. Time for a long bus ride home.
When I got there, I fed Ms. Night, ate a very early dinner, and was prepared for a nice relaxing evening.
Then I heard a knock on the door. Groaning, I got up from my seat and walked over there. Looking through the peephole, I could clearly see that it was Lisa.
I made sure the door chain was engaged, then opened it.
"Didn't I tell you to fuck off and leave me alone at home?"
"I know, but this is really important. I need your help, and the people who are after me want me specifically for help tracking you down."
I pinched the bridge of my nose in frustration. Couldn't this girl stay out of trouble for even a month?
"Right, I'm going to frisk you for weapons and other nasty surprises, THEN we'll talk."
"That's fine with me. I know you're into that sort of thing."
I audibly groaned. Ugh, I just know I'm going to be regretting this later.
Simultaneously, Taylor had been practicing seeing through her bugs like an array telescope until she could identify individual vehicles without any trouble.
So at the date and time in question, everyone was in position. Dinah had opted to stay home, on account of already having provided all the help she reasonably could have.
It was one in the afternoon when Taylor's voice came over the radio. "Cat, I see Bakuda's car! She's on the northern route at about seventy miles per hour, and should be at the intercept point in two minutes!"
"Got it!"
Then I hopped on my motor scooter and zipped off to the ambush location. I quickly climbed a nearby building, and got a clear view of a blue Volkswagen veetle approaching my location at downright reckless speeds. I loaded an Armor Piercing round into my .700 Nitro Express rifle, took careful aim, and waited.
At the point of closest approach, I fired, nailing the car right in the engine. The vehicle started losing speed and making horrible noises, even as I loaded a brasscase and leapt down to ground level.
For a moment, I worried that I'd got the wrong car. Then I saw that the woman getting out was wearing a gas mask and had a bandoleer of grenades for her launcher slung across her chest.
I proceeded to shoot Bakuda in the center of mass before she got her wits about her, then fired six rounds from my pistol into her cranium just to be sure.
Right, one more kill to do today before it was time to disappear. Now that Bakuda was daalt with, I no longer had a need to leave Lung alive. On top of that, I knew exactly where he was: waiting for Bakuda, not expecting a fight.
So I loaded a brasscase, hopped back on my moped, and zipped off to the designated meeting point.
I didn't go in the building and confront Lung, obviously. That would have been stupid. Instead, I climbed around nearby buildings until I got a view of Lung through a window. That's about when Lung figured it was time for a bathroom break or something, and turned towards the window.
We locked eyes for just a moment, scales rapidly spreading across his skin as he spitted my very large gun. Then I finally lined up my shot, and splattered Lung's brains all over the opposite wall. Just to be double sure, I shot the shattered remains of Lung's head a few more times with the Nitro Express. Then I made my exit.
While I made sure to avoid the site of Bakuda's death, out of sheer bad luck I happened to cross the path of a PRT van coming the other way as I made my escape.
They must have seen the rifle slung across my back along with ny other gear, because they immediately did a U-turn and took up pursuit, sirens blaring.
I couldn't let this continue. Not only were they faster than my moped, but they were no doubt telling their friends about me. Ugh, I'd hoped to avoid conjuring stuff where people could see it, but I was out of options. With a wave of my hand, I materialized a spike strip behind me.
The van's tires burst, and they screeched to a halt.
For a moment, I thought I'd successfully escaped pursuit. Then I noticed a figure in red running alongside, easily keeping pace with my moped. Velocity.
I shouted at him "No, I'm NOT going to surrender, if that's your question!"
Then I conjured the stickiest glue I could think of on the soles of his boots.
As a now thoroughly stuck Velocity receeded into the distance, I swerved around a corner. I needed to shake any further pursuit and fast. Couldn't ditch my incriminating gear without taking the time to torch it either, it had my forensics all over it.
Fortunately, I was coming up on a public park. Tree cover, paths too narrow for a PRT van to follow, it was perfect. So I spent plenty of time dodging around there before making my way to the shoreline. Time to check all my gear for trackers Velocity might have tagged me with and ditch-torch the moped.
I quickly whipped up a backpack, field-stripped my rifle and stowed it, stashed my other gear in there after checking it, got into my "totally a normal human" disguise, and torched the moped. Time for a long bus ride home.
When I got there, I fed Ms. Night, ate a very early dinner, and was prepared for a nice relaxing evening.
Then I heard a knock on the door. Groaning, I got up from my seat and walked over there. Looking through the peephole, I could clearly see that it was Lisa.
I made sure the door chain was engaged, then opened it.
"Didn't I tell you to fuck off and leave me alone at home?"
"I know, but this is really important. I need your help, and the people who are after me want me specifically for help tracking you down."
I pinched the bridge of my nose in frustration. Couldn't this girl stay out of trouble for even a month?
"Right, I'm going to frisk you for weapons and other nasty surprises, THEN we'll talk."
"That's fine with me. I know you're into that sort of thing."
I audibly groaned. Ugh, I just know I'm going to be regretting this later.
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- Pronouns
- You
Yessssss. This is what I always wanted.
- Pronouns
- Male
Nice. Hopefully she got away.
Edit: to clarify I meant without fingerprints and whatnot. Pretty sure tinkertech cameras would be able to get those off of burning stuff.
Edit: to clarify I meant without fingerprints and whatnot. Pretty sure tinkertech cameras would be able to get those off of burning stuff.
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