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[Dragonball Z] Saiyan Birds and Bees

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GioGio said:
May god/Kami/whatever-deity-is-running-DBZ have mercy if Nappa finds out about this hilarious development...
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Well he was brought back with the Dragonballs and is currently in Hollywood... Or he's been brought back and he's just wandering around Earth right now.
 
Schwep said:
If we're going off of the DBZA the wish was to 'bring back everybody that Frieza and his men killed.' Wouldn't that include, oh say, the planet Vegeta and the whole Saiyan race?

edit: wait, it wouldn't include the planet, just the Saiyans. So a bunch of Saiyans were returned to life and then promptly suffocated.

edit2: except Bardok's team weren't on Vegeta os there are, what, four more Saiyans on that planet with the crazy precogs
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There's a statute of limitations on wishing somebody back to life for the Earth balls; presumably something about the longer someone's been dead the more power it takes to change that or something.
 
I imagine that Trunks' thought processes at this moment were remarkably similar to when this occurred:

 
I just found and read this... And I haven't. stopped. LAUGHING!!
I kinda hope she does hook up with whatshername.... Hercule's daughter.
JUST to see Vegeta's reaction...
 
More hilarious awkwardness of course!

Though I do wonder what'll happen when the other members of the DBZ peanut gallery show up and put their own two cents into this?

Though Yamcha'll be crapped on of course, despite whatever reasonable advice he gives. Because he's a Yamcha.
 
Awesome timing, because you warmed me up for the latest episode and I'm now craving for more of this fic.

Funny yet sad idea? Goku is dense, and thus treated Girl!Gohan like a boy for several years of her life. She had to be TOLD by her mom that she was a girl, and worse yet Goku had to be reminded that she had to in some cases be treated as such.

Also, when is Gohan going to meet Mr. PoPo and get his 'advice'?
 
GioGio said:
Funny yet sad idea? Goku is dense, and thus treated Girl!Gohan like a boy for several years of her life. She had to be TOLD by her mom that she was a girl, and worse yet Goku had to be reminded that she had to in some cases be treated as such.
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Oddly enough, this IS in character for Goku....
 
GioGio said:
Also, when is Gohan going to meet Mr. PoPo and get his 'advice'?
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Nah, she'd be better off getting advice from Popo's sorta-kinda-girlfriend/friend-with-benefits, Jynx. Untranslated pokespeak advice, which she understands perfectly but is never translated for the readers.
 
I'm also curious as to what other pent-up issues Girl!Gohan has for Goku other than Parental Neglect with a side of Abandonment.
 
Oh kais, I just had a horrible, evil thought.

The stereotype is that men go for women like their mother, women go for men like their father. Gohan did this in canon; compare Videl to Dragonball-era Chichi.

Which means female Gohan is likely to be attracted to the "kind and strong, but stupid" type.
 
But wouldn't Gohan kinda-sorta hate anything that is remotely like her father? I mean in the latest episode Gohan breathed a sigh of relief when Future Trunks clarified that he was 'like his father' in the sense that he was a strong warrior.
 
GioGio said:
But wouldn't Gohan kinda-sorta hate anything that is remotely like her father? I mean in the latest episode Gohan breathed a sigh of relief when Future Trunks clarified that he was 'like his father' in the sense that he was a strong warrior.
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Hence why its a horrible thought. She's smart enough to recognize the pattern, and be completely horrified by it.
 
Please Andrew... we need more adorable Girl!Gohan with awkward and funny interactions thanks to her parents and their friends.
 
You know now that I think about it I'm kinda surprised you had Gohan be a girl in Future Trunk's... well future as well. Much comedy could have been mined from the multiple timelines theory-now-fact in that Future Trunks unfortunately goes to 'a' past where Gohan is a girl, and that his big-brother (Crush?) figure is a woman here.
 
- - - - - -

Gohan sighed as she read through her textbook. It was on elementary particle physics, and she began to memorize the varieties of quark.

"Let's see... Up, down, charm, strange, top, bottom..." She rubbed her chin. "Hmm... I wonder if I'm getting exposed to all sorts of exotic particles thanks to ki energy blasts. I mean, I've been around all sorts of crazy crap." Her frown deepened. "I wonder if that might affect my chances of reproduction. Given how much radiation I've been exposed to... Heck, I've been in space!" She smiled happily.

"Hey! I've been in space! And to another planet! That was awesome! I mean, aside from Frieza... And the death..." She sighed. "I just wanted to explore the universe and see awesome stuff... Well I guess that was awesome. I mean, if I was watching it..."

"Do you always talk to yourself like this?" Piccolo asked. Gohan smiled out the window at her green mentor.

"Hey Mister Piccolo! And to be honest, I don't have a lot of other people to talk to about stuff. I mean... You've met my mom-"

"And your dad," Piccolo said with a nod. "Enough said. So, what do you think about Vegeta's sudden obsession with your reproductive future?"

"It is creepy," Gohan said earnestly. "I mean, unbelievably creepy. And yet kind of touching. Like, he's concerned with my future happi... ness..." She shuddered. "Ugh. Okay, I couldn't say that without shuddering."

"Well, I've realized something even creepier that will probably make you feel worse," Piccolo said.

"So... You're not going to say it?" Gohan asked hopefully. Piccolo reached out and patted his student's shoulder.

"No, no I'm not. Just count your blessings he's not grooming you to become his mate in the fut..ure..."

Gohan's face turned greener than Piccolo's. The Namekian sighed and facepalmed.

"Goddamnit... Give me a second before you-"

"BLARRRRGH!" Gohan barfed... All over Piccolo's front. Piccolo groaned. Gohan shuddered.

"I-... I'm sorry, Mister Piccolo..."

Piccolo then sighed, and patted Gohan on her shoulder again. "No, no... I completely understand."

"Even with your lack of reproductive or-?"

"Especially with my lack of reproductive organs," Piccolo said earnestly.

- - - - - -
 
Techncially, he DOES have reproductive organs, they're just not at all connected to the genitals or sexual reproduction (instead using the mouth to assexually lay eggs, IIRC).

Technically, that means that Namekians are all biologically female, or at least close to it, even if they seem to have a male-ish gender identity.
 
Ike said:
There aren't really many saiyans to introduce Gohan to, either. Nappa (who's even older then Vegeta), Tarbles (who Vegeta probably wouldn't even consider cuz he sucked so much he got freaking kicked off the planet), and Broly (old as her dad, and fucking nuts. Still the strongest individual/solo powered saiyan around).

That's why I picture Vegeta basically enlisting dudes Gohans age once she turns around 15 or so into martial training, to see who has what it takes to handle a hot saiyan bitch.

Just imagine the recruitment poster.
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"Do you pathetic dregs find this woman attractive?" Vegeta shouted to the small crowd of people as he pointed at a large poster of Gohan, now eighteen years old and smiling shyly at the camera. "Do you?"

The group, mostly made of men between the ages of eighteen and twenty, were rather taken aback by just how loud this short guy could get. Still, they couldn't deny the girl was cute. After all, seeing that same picture on the pamphlets around the city was why they'd come here in the first place. They all mumbled the affirmative, something that made Vegeta snort in derision.

"Thought so," he said in a voice that just oozed contempt. "But you bunch of pansy-ass weaklings don't have a chance with her! Not as you are now!"

"And who's to say that, shorty?" A tall, buff college student said as he stepped up. He loomed over Vegeta and poked him in the chest. "You? Are you gonna-"

The student didn't get any further, because Vegeta had grabbed young man by the finger and then tossed him over his shoulder. The kid screamed before he slammed into the wall behind the Saiyan prince, leaving an imprint just a few feet away from the poster of Gohan.

"As of a matter of fact," he said with a scowl. "Yes. So you little shits had better respect my authority."

"Uh… Sir?" said another teenager, much more respectfully. "If you don't think we're worthy of dating her, then why are we here? What are we supposed to do?"

"I'm glad you asked!" Vegeta said with a cruel smile. He walked up and swept his leg casually, sending the teenager tumbling. A light kick then sent the boy flying before he even hit the ground, rolling him into the crowd and sending the whole lot of them toppling. "You're supposed to survive! You runts will become worthy once I beat the weakness out of you!"
 
HymnOfRagnarok said:
And thus people are more intimidated by him than Vegeta. Oh the irony.

....I'm now imagining people mistaking Vegeta dictating Gohan's dating life as an older brother looking out for his younger sister. And trying to make himself sound tougher than he is with that obviously fake raspy voice, the Bales fanboy. I mean he clearly hasn't finished puberty yet, look how much taller his father and grandfather are!
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And thus did many people die that day.
 
HymnOfRagnarok said:
....I'm now imagining people mistaking Vegeta dictating Gohan's dating life as an older brother looking out for his younger sister. And trying to make himself sound tougher than he is with that obviously fake raspy voice, the Bales fanboy. I mean he clearly hasn't finished puberty yet, look how much taller his father and grandfather are!
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I dunno, he is the POSSLQ of the second-generation CEO and chief inventor of one of the world's most prominent and wealthy tech corporations; the public is probably at least aware of him, at least in the sense of "that strange guy with a Napoleon complex Bulma Briefs is always seen with".
 
Ashaeron said:
Theoretically, but the Namekians don't take biological material from other beings, afaik. They just sort of... clone themselves. And split apart/recombine. Huh. I found their genetic diversity.
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They reproduce through agamogenesis.
 
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