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Dragon Harem Quest - Or: Saying You Were Gay Wasn't The Conversation-Ender You Hoped For

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Unbanshee said:
GASP!
As God is my witness, I want a Top Chef episode where Issachar and Eldingar are judges so freaking much now.
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Issachar, Eldingar and Makram as the judges while the harem and the side characters cook.
Issachar would be polite and give advise and encouragement and atleast a middeling grade to anyone.
Makram would be extremely critical of everyone and disgusted by their food and give below avarage grade to most.
Eldingar would be the real lynch pin his score upsetting the balance between the nice man and the judgy Djin.
SO the contestants play to his specific tastes, causing the contestants to fall into a pattern, until Eldingar finds out and throws a fit.
This forces them to change.
This is the Eldingar cycle.
 
[X] Go with Issachar to each location in order. You'll have time to chat, but he'll probably make you do all the work, and you might not beat the sunset.

What's normal about lightning farming?
 
Madou Sutegobana said:
[X] Go with Issachar to each location in order. You'll have time to chat, but he'll probably make you do all the work, and you might not beat the sunset.

What's normal about lightning farming?
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Its not normal to you, but so aren't dragons.
In this world, lightning farming is probally as normal workining in a power plant.
Hell they serve a similiar purpose, trap power for electrical devices
 
[X] Go with Issachar to each location in order. You'll have time to chat, but he'll probably make you do all the work, and you might not beat the sunset.
 
[X] Go with Issachar to each location in order. You'll have time to chat, but he'll probably make you do all the work, and you might not beat the sunset.
 
ZerbanDaGreat said:
"I suppose it's acceptable for ah, 'rustic' cooking," Makram interjects in his very Makram way. "But really if we're talking about skill at the culinary arts you should look no further than my own considerable talents. Give me an hour and I could whip up a seven-course banquet fit for a king, as I often did back in my day, you see the style of the time was-"
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Oh my god Makram's fucking- he's jealous of the attention that Issachar's getting. God he's like a cat who the second someone else comes home just starts winding between your legs and trying to crawl up on your lap. This petty motherfucker I love him.

ZerbanDaGreat said:
"Ooh can I watch?" Jun-ho asks. "Haven't so much as tried cooking toast before so honestly cooking is basically magic to me."
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jun-ho why are you so relateable

ZerbanDaGreat said:
"Myeah, well, it doesn't take a genius to figure out what hurts a squishy mortal and what doesn't," you brush him off
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Says the guy who kept asking Belial if he was holding on too hard last night.

ZerbanDaGreat said:
It's big, it's tall, it's broad, it's opulent, it's everything you could want in a home. And best of all it's completely em-

Your eyes flicker back to one window in particular, third from the right on the second floor.
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like that except apparently the dude who lives here has been prepping his puzzles and traps for For Fucking Ever and is probably just super glad to have the company. oh god what if he's all excited to finally show them off. fuck me.

i literally have to go to work this very minute but

[X] Go with Issachar to each location in order. You'll have time to chat, but he'll probably make you do all the work, and you might not beat the sunset.

WE TOOK THIS JOB SO WE COULD HANG OUT WITH OUR CUTE AS FUCK MAYBE ANGEL MAYBE BOYFRIEND AND BY GOD WE WILL
 
[X] Go with Issachar to each location in order. You'll have time to chat, but he'll probably make you do all the work, and you might not beat the sunset.

I like conversation.
 
[X] Go with Issachar to each location in order. You'll have time to chat, but he'll probably make you do all the work, and you might not beat the sunset.

Solving puzzles can be more fun with friends, plus Issachar clearly needs to be properly introduced to the joy of adventure games.
 
ZerbanDaGreat said:
"Oh." You blink. Abzu's energy is as disarming as ever. You feel yourself soften if only slightly - at least they're being polite and actually asking.
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Remember kids, manners makes the world go 'round and gets you not incinerated by a dragon.
ZerbanDaGreat said:
"I suppose it's acceptable for ah, 'rustic' cooking," Makram interjects in his very Makram way. "But really if we're talking about skill at the culinary arts you should look no further than my own considerable talents. Give me an hour and I could whip up a seven-course banquet fit for a king, as I often did back in my day, you see the style of the time was-"

"I'd love to see you in action one of these days if you're free," Belial says, completely ignoring the ifrit as he continues talking about what you think is some kind of gold-leaf dish with live doves living in it. "I dabbled a bit in the day but I kinda dropped off, might think about getting back into it."
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We're all going to get together and cook a feast and it will be-

No better, everybody is going to teach Jun-Ho to cook and it will be adorable.
ZerbanDaGreat said:
"This does seem very cursed doesn't it?" Issachar observes.

"Oh yeah. So cursed I already feel all greasy," you say as you walk towards the front door anyway. "And it's been what, twenty seconds?"

"Most definitely cursed," he agrees, following you.
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I dunno, there's just something adorbs about this matter-of-fact of cursedness by two people who are basically immune to it amuses me to no end.
ZerbanDaGreat said:
What lies beyond is like its own little bubble in time. Despite the disrepair of the road, of the gate, the crumbling outer wall consumed by moss and lichen, within it seems utterly pristine. The lawn is neat and well-kept, so sparkling emerald it seems only freshly watered. There's a fountain in the middle of the grounds, a multi-tiered thing of marble so perfect not even the water has managed to darken it yet. On this side of the perimeter the wall is as strong as the day it was built, high and uniform, tipped with gleaming steel spikes. To the left you see a greenhouse, massive glass panes fogged by condensation, turning whatever lies within to vague blurs even to your keen eyes. To the right you see an honest-to-goodness hedge maze just like you've always secretly wanted, the dense bushy green 'walls' so high you'd have to fly to cheat. Straight head is of course the main building, and you must admit it's a fine building by mortal standards. It's a three storey villa, surrounded in all sides by perfectly-kept hedgerows and flower gardens, the sort of thing you'd need an army of groundskeepers to get that good-looking. It's big, it's tall, it's broad, it's opulent, it's everything you could want in a home. And best of all it's completely em-
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architecture pooooorn
ZerbanDaGreat said:
You shrug. "If speed is your problem we can always split up."

Now it's his turn to look at you like you're a moron.

"... what?"

"Nothing, I'm sure it'll be fine."
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Well why would Eldingar care about getting ambushed? He's a dragon!

... Okay, he's not a very good dragon, but still.

[X] Go with Issachar to each location in order. You'll have time to chat, but he'll probably make you do all the work, and you might not beat the sunset.

I want banter.
 
Imrix said:
Remember kids, manners makes the world go 'round and gets you not incinerated by a dragon.
We're all going to get together and cook a feast and it will be-

No better, everybody is going to teach Jun-Ho to cook and it will be adorable.
I dunno, there's just something adorbs about this matter-of-fact of cursedness by two people who are basically immune to it amuses me to no end.
architecture pooooorn
Well why would Eldingar care about getting ambushed? He's a dragon!

... Okay, he's not a very good dragon, but still.

[X] Go with Issachar to each location in order. You'll have time to chat, but he'll probably make you do all the work, and you might not beat the sunset.

I want banter.
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Husbando's for the husbando-god
Banter for the Banter Throne
 
[X] Go with Issachar to each location in order. You'll have time to chat, but he'll probably make you do all the work, and you might not beat the sunset.
 
The map was pointing to the mansion itself, wasn't it? There's no one inside. Some evil wizard turned a puzzle loving nerd into a villa.

It's the only thing that makes sense.

[X] Go with Issachar to each location in order. You'll have time to chat, but he'll probably make you do all the work, and you might not beat the sunset.
 
Romv said:
The map was pointing to the mansion itself, wasn't it? There's no one inside. Some evil wizard turned a puzzle loving nerd into a villa.

It's the only thing that makes sense.

[X] Go with Issachar to each location in order. You'll have time to chat, but he'll probably make you do all the work, and you might not beat the sunset.
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You, I know your jesting...
But I kinda hope yer right.
I always crow about having weird and interresting creatures,
(Even if I am a massive Dragon fan)
Having a sapient mansion as one of our boifriends?
That would both be hillarious, a subversion of expectation AND be an interresting body shape for someone to have.
I would love for Eldingar to seduce a mansion on accident.
If only for the reaction of the others
"You seduced...a MANSION?"
 
Lizard Knight said:
You, I know your jesting...
But I kinda hope yer right.
I always crow about having weird and interresting creatures,
(Even if I am a massive Dragon fan)
Having a sapient mansion as one of our boifriends?
That would both be hillarious, a subversion of expectation AND be an interresting body shape for someone to have.
I would love for Eldingar to seduce a mansion on accident.
If only for the reaction of the others
"You seduced...a MANSION?"
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We'd have a hard time getting it to move in with the rest of our harem, though.

And I don't see Eldingar as willing to move out here.
 
VagueZ said:
We'd have a hard time getting it to move in with the rest of our harem, though.

And I don't see Eldingar as willing to move out here.
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Eldingar, in a labor of love, digs Mansion-senpai out (with a bit of earth for them to sit on, ofcourse) and then carries them to the lair.
He then places his new lover in or near the lair.
The question then becomes, how do a mansion and dragon
...
wel
...
Reproduce.
 
Well if there was ever a conversation that needed to be forcefully Re-Railed it was this one.

Huge forest mansion means one of four things.

1) Ghost
2) Lich
3) Vampire
4) Fairy Lord

Lich is unlikely because rotting flesh is a bit of an ew-factor, ghost is second least likely because once you work through their personal problems suddenly they're rising off into the sky and boy that's a waste of time for all of us, which leaves us with

1) Immortal creature of the night who survives on the blood of the living and dramatic organ music.
2) Immortal creature of wonderment who in a quest that wasn't about gay dragons would be played by Zooey Deschanel and drag us off to paint a 3-D model painting into the leaves of a tree the week before autumn starts.
 
LupineVolt said:
Lich is unlikely because rotting flesh is a bit of an ew-factor, ghost is second least likely because once you work through their personal problems suddenly they're rising off into the sky and boy that's a waste of time for all of us, which leaves us with

1) Immortal creature of the night who survives on the blood of the living and dramatic organ music.
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1. I often like my dracholiches fully skeleton to avoid the rotting factor.

2. vampire, dragon, and incubus threesome involving a lot of love bites.
 
ZerbanDaGreat said:
"It's mostly a hands-off job,
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Not one to usually point these out, but here's an egregious spelling error. :V

ZerbanDaGreat said:
"Oh." You blink. Abzu's energy is as disarming as ever. You feel yourself soften if only slightly - at least they're being polite and actually asking.
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Eldingar: Listen up you little shits!
Abzu: [...?]
Eldingar: Not you, Abzu. You're perfect and we're all thrilled that you're here.

Sticking to the weirdboi who is most definitely human.

[X] Go with Issachar to each location in order. You'll have time to chat, but he'll probably make you do all the work, and you might not beat the sunset.
 
wait wait wait my crazy theory senses are tingling.

Middle of the forest, isolated estate, locks that seem to only make it difficult for the owner to leave, this may just be as you all say a regular old dig at dungeoneering traps but what if.

What. If.

This is the retreat of a rich werewolf who has locked himself into his vast estate in order to contain the terrible curse he lives with.

OR

IS THIS BEAUTY AND THE BEAST? OR RATHER BEAST AND THE BEAST AND SEVERAL OTHER HUNKY BEASTS?!
 
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