Discard, Draw, Three of a Kind? [Multi-SI/Nanoha/Yu-Yu]

This is honestly one of the more interesting stories in this site. Keep up the good work, folks!
How so? I'm honestly curious to see why you think that. The multi-SI POV is certainly uncommon in the fanfic scene, I confess, and us blending it with magical girls is too, but you'd think the slow update speed kinda loses readers. Or~ I'm just a bit jaded from Shade and Zoat's writing speeds versus my own.
 
How so? I'm honestly curious to see why you think that. The multi-SI POV is certainly uncommon in the fanfic scene, I confess, and us blending it with magical girls is too, but you'd think the slow update speed kinda loses readers. Or~ I'm just a bit jaded from Shade and Zoat's writing speeds versus my own.
Your post speed is pretty slow, but it's far from the worst I've seen. I also just like the concept, as well as the used universes.
 
How so? I'm honestly curious to see why you think that. The multi-SI POV is certainly uncommon in the fanfic scene, I confess, and us blending it with magical girls is too, but you'd think the slow update speed kinda loses readers. Or~ I'm just a bit jaded from Shade and Zoat's writing speeds versus my own.
It's mostly a combination of the changing POV and the SI's personalities. The very different ways they see the world and how they clash with each other is very interesting to see and while the first chapter was fairly weak because the repetition of the events gets very boring,,very quickly, the newest ones are much better to read.

And update speed isn't a concern to me. I waited more than a year for Shinji and Warhammer 40K to update (And I'm still waiting to see if it'll ever update again), so a month or two just isn't much of a bother, especially because you never told me to expect daily or weekly updates.
 
Granted that's only while we have backlog but still.
This also comes with a warning that me and Mizu spent some time looking over the backlog and we need to change half it, modify the rest, and cut 1 or 2 prewritten chapters.
Turns out having a backlog only works if you stick religiously to a predetermined plan.
And there's a reason I called us Team ADOS.
 
Chapter 5 – Nero POV
Chapter 3 – Nero POV

I seem to be apologizing a lot.



Well, I've put it off for long enough and I'm kinda tired of feeling this guilty.

I lean through the doorway, glancing at the TV. Mizu is watching… some sort of magical girl show, going by the young girl in a frilly dress pointing a wand at a slime monster. Which gets turned into a puddle a moment later by a beam of pink light. Don't recognize the series, but we're both in an alternate world and magical girl shows are a dime a dozen, so it's not like that's too surprising.

"Hey, Mizu, do you mind if I borrow Reinforce for a moment? I need to talk with her about something."

"Yeah, sure, go ahead." Mizu waves a bandaged hand vaguely behind her, not even bothering to turn around, and I see Reinforce sitting on the corner of the couch next to her. "Don't think I need her for anything, after all."

Well, I suppose it's good that she seems okay? Eh, it's Mizu. "That okay with you Reinforce?" Would probably be a bad move to ignore the sentient Device's opinion. Especially considering my… misstep yesterday.

"I have no objection to the discussion. While we are in the midst of episode six of 'Magical Girl Aki', internet sources easily allow me to review the moments I missed."

I nod and pick up the surprisingly light book that constitutes Reinforce's physical form. "I'll have her back soon Mizu, this shouldn't take long."

Slipping back out of the room and back to my bedroom, I ping Bardiche mentally to take a step back. The absence of the constant information from the HUD is rather stark now that it's gone, and the lack of awareness is almost putting me on edge. I'll need to keep an eye on dependance to that.

"Right then." Looking down at the Book as I place it on the side table, I'm suddenly feeling really awkward about this. I was always crap at apologies I actually meant.

I carefully sink down to the floor, to try and bring us into a semblance of eye-level.

"I just wanted to say I am sorry for bringing up your friends yesterday. It was manipulative, and probably too far." Ducking my head a little, I wait for her response.

"It hurt. Reinforce's first words are slow, cautious, and heavy with emotion. "I miss them, you know that, and it hurt that you used their absence as a means of convincing me. It hurt, but neither can I claim that you didn't have a good reason for doing so, and seeing how Mizu is behaving a single day later is proof enough you were right. She's still withdrawn, mostly ignoring the world, but focusing on fictional ones is still better than wallowing in self-regret."

"So for that, I thank you. But please don't do such a thing again."

"I promise I won't. It was the only way I could think of, but it was still cruel of me to do so, no matter the results." I really can be a bastard. Well, bitch now, but point stands.

I keep my eyes focused on the floor, waiting for her words. The silence stretches, growing tense, before she speaks once more.

"I'll hold you to that." A shadow appears on the ground as some kind of magic occurs on the table. I look up as two feet drop into my vision, before catching a rap on the head.

I blink, rubbing my head, before taking in Reinforce's human form. "That was fair." She has red eyes too. Also, gorgeous. Silver hair about as long as mine is and taller than I am now. Probably shorter than my old body, but it's difficult to tell since she's standing and I'm kneeling. Did I mention she's gorgeous?

Rubbing my head one last time, mostly for show, I offer a hand up to her. "All I can offer is that I'll try my best to keep Mizu as safe as I can." It's the best I have to offer her.

She smirks and pulls me to my feet. I barely come up to her chest. "That's my job, but you'll work as a substitute Knight. Barely." Ouch.

Reinforce stretches, moving around me, and wanders out the door back towards Mizu.

Moments later I hear a squawk of surprise and thump as Mizu falls off the couch.
 
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She smirks and pulls me to my feet. I barely come up to her chest. "That's my job, but you'll work as a substitute Knight. Barely." Ouch.

Reinforce stretches, moving around me, and wanders out the door back towards Mizu.

Moments later I hear a squawk of surprise and thump as Mizu falls off the couch.


Good to see Reinforce has a trolling streak. I think Mizu will appreciate the distraction, at least when it isn't at her expense.
 

[10/2/2016 3:12:14 AM] Nanoha Takamachi: ...
[10/2/2016 3:12:22 AM] Nanoha Takamachi: You're altering the future
[10/2/2016 3:12:33 AM] Nanoha Takamachi: Just so Nero can gaze at hot women
[10/2/2016 3:12:41 AM] Nanoha Takamachi: Nero
[10/2/2016 3:12:48 AM] Nanoha Takamachi: You are The Worst
[10/2/2016 3:12:49 AM] Kira: gorgeous* women

It was through this omake Nero realized, Reinforce is hot.
 
But I'm somewhat curious about how Nero changed the future. Though at least I can rest easy knowing it was for a worthy cause.

"Mizute keeps forgetting Reinforce" was a running gag as Mizu at the time couldn't write anyone else in this fic for shit and had to rely on Nero to do it. It's been changed due to Reinforce being in human.... ish form rather then book form.
 
Yo. Just checking in to let you all know what's going on - the next scene is done and edited, but we're a tad unsure if it fits within SV's rules after the big kerfuffle with the 'sexual content' banner a month or two ago, so it's undergoing mod review at present. Should be out within three days, or a week if the mods are especially busy and forget about it initially.

Expect mass cringing from Daze when we post it, presuming it's fine.
 
Yo. Just checking in to let you all know what's going on - the next scene is done and edited, but we're a tad unsure if it fits within SV's rules after the big kerfuffle with the 'sexual content' banner a month or two ago, so it's undergoing mod review at present. Should be out within three days, or a week if the mods are especially busy and forget about it initially.

Expect mass cringing from Daze when we post it, presuming it's fine.

So let me tell you a story.

Two to three am and we don't really know what to do. We've got the idea to make these short snippets and this was our first try between me and Mizu.

It was three am for me, guess how well it went.

When I woke up the next day I was midly embaresed by what I wrote but never bothered to look back and actually read the thing.

Then comes a few days ago when we had decided to post it. I took one look at it and instant lately felt that I should go stab myself in the eye.

Yes, to me it was that bad and I hadn't even looked beyond a couple of paragraphs.

So I go up to the others suggesting we overhaul it and you know what? They fucking said no.

"For accuracy" they said while poking fun at the matter.

Then just to make sure, they sent it in for approval to see if it's alright.

Guess what didn't make the cut.

"This is gross" Ford declared while listing all the reasons why it was just really fucking gross. I don't even know what he said my mind saw a few words then suddenly I was as red as a streetlight and I've never blushed before.

So yeah, now I just kind of feel like crying, running away so that I don't get even redder, or just screaming "I FUCKING TOLD YOU SO!" At the top of my lungs so that the two idiots halfway around the globe can hear it because now they decide that "Oh yeah, maybe rewriting it is a good idea!"

This is what I deal with folks...
 
"This is gross" Ford declared while listing all the reasons why it was just really fucking gross. I don't even know what he said my mind saw a few words then suddenly I was as red as a streetlight and I've never blushed before.
To be specific, he said this:
Ford's thoughts said:
The long and short of it is that making your characters a certain age colours an entire work. The karaoke segment is largely concerned with the narrator character creeping on the other girls, replete with hidden photos of a girl's legs and musing on how much they could sell for. When the characters involved are thirteen years old, that's not acceptable. It's not even a matter of some parts being out of line, it's just that the whole thing is just gross.
So, this is rather likely to be hitting the cutting room floor. Or, if not, undergoing heavy revision and another mod-check to make sure we didn't take a trampoline jump over the line like we evidently did the first time writing it - we'll have another omake posted soon instead once we figure out what else is good for posting.
 
Well, If any of you really want to post it... There's always QQ.

Doesn't seem like you want to post it that much though. :V
 
To be specific, he said this:

So, this is rather likely to be hitting the cutting room floor. Or, if not, undergoing heavy revision and another mod-check to make sure we didn't take a trampoline jump over the line like we evidently did the first time writing it - we'll have another omake posted soon instead once we figure out what else is good for posting.
Or its that thing that tv shows, movies, and video games do, where they first submit something intentionally super out of line for review by the ratings boards or executives, so that when they later submit what they actually wanted to use, it looks tame in comparison.

That's how we got stuff like a lot of the outfits and shadows in ATLA's Beach Episode and lots of adult humor in E rated video games.
 
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