...impressive.

A conflict of unfathomable scale.

An enemy with no logical reasons for her madness.

And so very much emotion.

...did Zeta break the Fourth Wall? I'm honestly asking. Or, like I mentioned above, she was just simply insane.
 
Makes sense at least, If you found out that you're just a character in a side story you'ed go insane too.

When you realize you're nothing but a graphic under which a spinning green gem hovers, and obeys it's occasional direct commands, but otherwise are ignored for the most part, either you accept that you're nothing but a glorified Sim, or you go mad from the realization. That, or if you have enough power, break 'the game' and turn yourself into the one who is clicking the mouse button.

Sadly, Zee never realized she was sitting at the very edge of being able to do that.
 
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All that because she wanted to be the main character and have some control...what a brat!
You had everything and you threw it away, you didn't even talk about it you little psycho!
 
I honesty don't know if she was aware of the "story", given that the SI hypothesized about it with himself, literally. Or she could just be delusional, seeing her father at the center of everything and serving as effectively a part of his operations as making her a "side character", thus she sought something completely different from him.

It's insane and stupid either way.
 
I suppose on some level I wanted to write about someone who didn't have some majorly sympathetic, emotional and/or logical reason to have someone go 'Oh, well now that I understand, it makes perfect sense for you to have done what you did'. Or even a way to go 'Well you're naturally malicious and evil in your own way'.

Not everyone gets to have that as an excuse, neither in fiction nor in real life.
 
I suppose on some level I wanted to write about someone who didn't have some majorly sympathetic, emotional and logical reason to have someone go 'Oh, well now that I understand, it makes perfect sense for you to have done what you did'.
To be fair they did murder a whole galaxy. Hard to be sympathetic with someone who does that.
 
So.... are you gonna have any children in your SI Planetary Annihilation? ;)
Consider 40k. Consider how a godlike man created 20 sons. Consider the golden age they led. Consider the future that was within their grasp.

And then consider how fully half of them helped condemn the galaxy to an unending hell.

When it comes down to it, who do you think poses a greater threat? A rogue Primarch? Or a rogue Commander? The galaxy would not survive.

And in spite of all of that? Yes.
 
I also tried to write satisfactorily about a Commander engaging in combat across the whole of a galaxy and with a technological scale that is at least somewhat impressive. Thoughts? Feedback on the combat?

The Network was continually suppressing their emotions as they tried to boil over repeatedly so some of it felt a little clinical but then again I guess that's partially what it was supposed to be like.
 
Zeta's one breaking point is that if we were in a story then nothing mattered including her own existence. It's the same hypothetical break that any fictional character could have if you told them the same. From comics. From…fanfiction.

That depends on how you see 'fictional' universes. Is the author a great god who makes his puppets dance. Or is he a chronicler noting down the history of the place, and the biographies of the characters?

You failed one of the greatest tests a person can ever face Zeta; should you be confronted with the potential for your life to be inherently meaningless, how do you give it meaning?

"And they'll praise it, the fucking bastards, they will! Because all they want is the pain and gore and sadness! That's what they want, that's what I'll give them!"

No Zeta. Darkness Induced Audience Apathy is a thing, and that's all you'd have given us. Darkness, pain and suffering. Your writings would be like a ten year old trying too hard to be edgy. If we read it it'd be through sheer bile fascination and as an example on how not to do a story.

What we want? I've found that one apt description of the culture of SV and SB is 'Rambo on the outside, Disney princess on the inside.' We aren't stupid, we know the world can be a dark, terrible and hurtful place. But gods be damned if we let it remain such a thing when we can make it better. And if it can't be made better, at least we can try to make the place of us, our friends and everyone we can reach a better place than it is now.

And Zee, you were never a main character. You were never even a side character in the story that is told. You were just a bit part, with a role that, in the end, doesn't even provide that great a twist. It's just another attempt to tug on the heartstrings, like so many we have seen before.
 
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I also tried to write satisfactorily about a Commander engaging in combat across the whole of a galaxy and with a technological scale that is at least somewhat impressive. Thoughts? Feedback on the combat?

The Network was continually suppressing their emotions as they tried to boil over repeatedly so some of it felt a little clinical but then again I guess that's partially what it was supposed to be like.
Appropriately epic. And horrifying. Downright chilling, really. Trillions of lives...gone. All those nuts worried about the destruction unchained AIs can do are right. It takes a Commander to stop a Commander. And I feel so goddamn bad for the Network right now.
 
By the very kind of meta nature of that entire chapter, I don't quite know how to feel about that post, Hazard.

:confused:

Regardless, I hope the chapter was at least 'ok' in the greater sense.
 
You know what's all ironic about this?
It was all written, by @torroar to be just as he wanted. In a way, Zeta played right into @torroar's attempt to give character development to Torroar by making her the villain.

God-Writer is absolute. No matter what you do to escape your chains, it is futile.
 
Actually, I would prefer mine solely analytical. Emotions means erratic, illogical behavior/decisions. An emotional subject is more likely to rebel (cue puberty) than a solely logic driven intellect.

Emotions are actually extraordinarily logical. They can be manipulated, certainly, much like any approach to logic can be manipulated by skewing the facts and assumptions they work off, but there's an inherent logic to everything.

You just have to ask yourself 'why am I feeling this emotion?' And generally, if you view it from the point of view of your survival and your ability to procreate you will find an answer quite soon.

By the very kind of meta nature of that entire chapter, I don't quite know how to feel about that post, Hazard.

:confused:

Regardless, I hope the chapter was at least 'ok' in the greater sense.

I anticipated that. That rant was actually at the start rather more scathing before I thought 'wait, Torroar might actually take this as an attack on his writing' and reworded parts of it. Generally though I get a whole lot of 'rage against the author' vibe from Zeta's motivations.

And quite frankly if you presume that the author is the everything determining god of the world he writes that's fine story material. But I don't. Many authors have noted that even though they certainly write extensively at some point the stories they write get away from the author.

I consider this an indication that most authors are more kin to chroniclers. Chroniclers that, perhaps, adjust their chronicles to better entertain the intended audience, but still people who record the things that happen, rather than make them happen.


And hey, my first post in this thread was on February 28th 2016, and I'm still here. If the writing were crap I'd have left long ago.
 
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And thus Sun Jian wept.

Am I the only one having Bond Breaker flashbacks here?

Re:Combat. I think it was fine. It's gotten to the point where mere words won't be enough to actually encompass the scale of it. Like having to use scientific notation; its tells you its a pretty damn big number, but.not how exactly "see each individual" fucking big.
 
Was it questioning your writing or answering Zee's mindset? :???:

Eh, not that great a twist and just another attempt to tug on the heartstrings like so many that have been seen before?

Seems directed to me?

I thought it was ok, but then again...I was really unsure about this chapter and am unsure about it now. I wrote the first 1k yesterday, and the rest I've been plugging at for the past few hours, so not that long to really process it.
 
So, with those 8k words, is Torroar the first of the PA SIs to write something like Diebuster in galactic-scale warfare?

(Drich' Homworld arc doesn't count I think. That was just pest control IMO)
 
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