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De3ta reads....Ambience: A Fleet Symphony.

Am I making a horrible mistake?

  • Yes.

    Votes: 14 5.7%

  • YES!

    Votes: 233 94.3%
  • Total voters
    247
Reader mode
De3ta said:
To the people that only voted "Yes," Tell me......

what's worse than this?!!?!?
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I'm sorry, I didn't know what you were getting into. I thought it might be the marry sue self insert where the ship-girls were used as naval infantry, but I only knew of it second hand. While these comments had implied it was bad, they hadn't implied it was this bad.

Further, while I might be able to find something worse – such as the event my status hints at – I learned long ago that attempting a suffering off is a terrible plan.

Personally, I'd drop it soon. Unless somebody is actually holding a gun to you, attempting this at the same time as your first event isn't going to wreck you.
 
De3ta said:
To the people that only voted "Yes," Tell me......

what's worse than this?!!?!?
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You poor innocent soul.

This is bad. This is horrible.

This has nothing on some of what's out there. At least the text is technically comprehensible, not to mention...actually, no. Stopping here. Some things just shouldn't be acknowledged.
 
It's not that bad guys. No, this is not bait. I mean, I didn't react that badly when I first read it.

Though, that maybe in part that it's my first Kancolle fanfic and grimderp story. And I tend to shutdown my brain when reading. And I have low standards.

...yeah, I should be ashamed of myself, shouldn't I? *unfollows and unfavourites*

*proceeds to get beaten up by the Kancolle community*
 
Firekicker1 said:
It's not that bad guys. No, this is not bait. I mean, I didn't react that badly when I first read it.

Though, that maybe in part that it's my first Kancolle fanfic and grimderp story. And I tend to shutdown my brain when reading. And I have low standards.

...yeah, I should be ashamed of myself, shouldn't I? *unfollows and unfavourites*

*proceeds to get beaten up by the Kancolle community*
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It's worse for me because I have a low threshold for grimderp, and am a fan of better post-apocalypse fiction.

Reading it twice didn't help matters, it did let me discover new and interesting ways this fic fails at logic.
 
Firekicker1 said:
It's not that bad guys. No, this is not bait. I mean, I didn't react that badly when I first read it.

Though, that maybe in part that it's my first Kancolle fanfic and grimderp story. And I tend to shutdown my brain when reading. And I have low standards.

...yeah, I should be ashamed of myself, shouldn't I? *unfollows and unfavourites*

*proceeds to get beaten up by the Kancolle community*
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In my opinion, Ambience: A Fleet Symphony is like that long-running soap opera TV show with 20+ seasons and counting, where the scriptwriter has to manufacture scheming villains, cliff-hangers, character deaths for the sake of drama. The story suffers from a huge cast of (underdeveloped) characters, and Hieda no Akyuu has written several stories in this Ambience universe, that are somehow linked together (...). The stories within the Ambience universe *sometimes* contradict with each other, or don't make logical sense. But it has its merits and good points too. Proper grammar, long-winded condescending descriptions, etc. It is not as bad as people here have made it sound.

If I compare this story to Moebius: Platoon, Moebius: Platoon ended when the the main character's superiors thought the Abyssal threat ended. I feel that story ended before it could stagnate into a Schwartzchild plothole. That story was actually quite good (my opinion), so it's not like the author is terrible at what they do. And it's not like Ambience: A Fleet Symphony is the worst thing to come to fanfiction.

My point is, is that I'm not sure why people are acting like this is the worst thing to come to Kancolle fanfiction. The story might require you to suspend your disbelief for a short (*_*) while, but it *is* the most favourited and followed Kancolle story. I feel its actually pretty good considering the grand scale of the whole universe the author is constructing.

(However, I believe that Kancolle: Greatest Generation is the best Kancolle fanfiction I have read so far. And for something that was like ten chapters long - not including omakes/extras -before Sasahara dropped it, that universe felt more alive and epic than Ambience: A Fleet Symphony. And Greatest Generation had an aircraft carrier as the main character. In a Kancolle fic. In a fandom where most stories either have an Admiral or battleship starring as the main.:cry: Why you heff to leave, Sasahara?)

Edit: If Hieda no Akyuu doesn't have an account here, is that like insulting someone who has no representation? But if you do read this, just de-bloat your story a bit, Hieda.
 
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jusblekyuri said:
My point is, is that I'm not sure why people are acting like this is the worst thing to come to Kancolle fanfiction. The story might require you to suspend your disbelief for a short (*_*) while, but it *is* the most favourited and followed Kancolle story. I feel its actually pretty good considering the grand scale of the whole universe the author is constructing.
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The only reason that it's the most favorited/followed is because it was the first major fic on FF.net, and because I stopped updating Fight our Battlecry. For awhile I had Ambiance beat on both counts, but people rarely follow deadfics.
 
jusblekyuri said:
In my opinion, Ambience: A Fleet Symphony is like that long-running soap opera TV show with 20+ seasons and counting, where the scriptwriter has to manufacture scheming villains, cliff-hangers, character deaths for the sake of drama. The story suffers from a huge cast of (underdeveloped) characters, and Hieda no Akyuu has written several stories in this Ambience universe, that are somehow linked together (...). The stories within the Ambience universe *sometimes* contradict with each other, or don't make logical sense. But it has its merits and good points too. Proper grammar, long-winded condescending descriptions, etc. It is not as bad as people here have made it sound.

If I compare this story to Moebius: Platoon, Moebius: Platoon ended when the the main character's superiors thought the Abyssal threat ended. I feel that story ended before it could stagnate into a Schwartzchild plothole. That story was actually quite good (my opinion), so it's not like the author is terrible at what they do. And it's not like Ambience: A Fleet Symphony is the worst thing to come to fanfiction.

My point is, is that I'm not sure why people are acting like this is the worst thing to come to Kancolle fanfiction. The story might require you to suspend your disbelief for a short (*_*) while, but it *is* the most favourited and followed Kancolle story. I feel its actually pretty good considering the grand scale of the whole universe the author is constructing.

(However, I believe that Kancolle: Greatest Generation is the best Kancolle fanfiction I have read so far. And for something that was like ten chapters long - not including omakes/extras -before Sasahara dropped it, that universe felt more alive and epic than Ambience: A Fleet Symphony. And Greatest Generation had an aircraft carrier as the main character. In a Kancolle fic. In a fandom where most stories either have an Admiral or battleship starring as the main.:cry: Why you heff to leave, Sasahara?)

Edit: If Hieda no Akyuu doesn't have an account here, is that like insulting someone who has no representation? But if you do read this, just de-bloat your story a bit, Hieda.
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Lemmie make some points here.

First things first, the major gripe that I myself have with the story Ambience: A Fleet Symphony is that it breaks Suspension of Disbelief way too much. Already in the first chapter we are told that the main character has an unnatural hair colour, then we are told that somehow, somehow the Coalition had managed to clear two continents completely of radiation.

That is a feat that is still not possible today in 2016. And I don't see how a civilization torn asunder by nuclear war would be able to accomplish such a feat. Then, we are told that the main character is some sort of supersoldier-prototype that is, among other things, able to see in ultraviolet, immune to radiation (what), and has super-strength. And if I recall the story correctly, he was born after the nuclear weapons hit.

Or maybe he was a mutant or something, I don't know. Radiation and mutations don't work that way either.

Then the silly gun-porn that serves to do nothing but bloat the story.

Regarding his other fics, he has no working knowledge of how an actual military works. CARDIV commander while being in another branch of the military? And in your twenties to boot? Again, major SoD breaking.

And I would forgive it if his characters were not complete mary sues.
 
jusblekyuri said:
My point is, is that I'm not sure why people are acting like this is the worst thing to come to Kancolle fanfiction. The story might require you to suspend your disbelief for a short (*_*) while, but it *is* the most favourited and followed Kancolle story. I feel its actually pretty good considering the grand scale of the whole universe the author is constructing.
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Edit: I should note the bulk of my comments here refer to Mobius Platoon. Which also makes no fucking sense you don't use platoons for ships.

I have to disagree with the claim that suspension of disbelief is for a short while. 20 chapters in and I found way too many issues with the story, which gave me the impression that the author 1) has no idea how anything military works and 2) kept throwing things in that he thought were cool.

Like the MC is in his what, early 20s and is already a full Commander? That's seriously bull. He's an officer who's been a drill instructor? Nope, that doesn't work - DIs are enlisted. Close order drill ends up upsetting the shipgirls until they're in tears? Jesus fuck what the hell are you doing wrong - I've done close order drill since I was seven (yay malaysian education system). Drill is never traumatising if you do it properly.

The biggest thing that jumped at me though is that the MC is narcoleptic and apparently he's still serving. Even though he may fall asleep at any moment and not know what happened to him. Nope. Do not pass go, do not collect your commission, you are medically unfit to serve.

One of the many straws for me is SEAL Team Six being involved in the Abyssal War. Nope. This is ridiculously ultra vires for DEVGRU and the rest of the NAVSPECWAR community and the larger SOCOM community as a whole. Not to say that there is no place for SOCOM in a war like this, but those places are not fighting the Abyssals directly.

The kindest thing I can say about his plotting is that it is less coherent than Black Ops 3. And Black Ops 3 was Mindfuck the Mindfuckening: Cyborg Bugaloo.

(However, I believe that Kancolle: Greatest Generation is the best Kancolle fanfiction I have read so far. And for something that was like ten chapters long - not including omakes/extras -before Sasahara dropped it, that universe felt more alive and epic than Ambience: A Fleet Symphony. And Greatest Generation had an aircraft carrier as the main character. In a Kancolle fic. In a fandom where most stories either have an Admiral or battleship starring as the main.:cry: Why you heff to leave, Sasahara?)
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:D

As the formerly anonymous secret Beta of GG, this pleases me. I should point out that GG has been restarted and will be repolished and emerge anew. GG thread here, btw.

Also if you want other fics involving aircraft carriers as MC, check out @Sheo Darren 's Eternity (i prefer the SB version because it's got more extra stuff and my omakes lol #SyokSendiri)

Edit: If Hieda no Akyuu doesn't have an account here, is that like insulting someone who has no representation? But if you do read this, just de-bloat your story a bit, Hieda.
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Nah, people riff on other people's work all the time. Ralson's Let's Read of the Honorverse is particularly scathing (and makes me feel even more guiltier that I used to like Honor Harrington a decade ago).
 
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Breakaway25 said:
The only reason that it's the most favorited/followed is because it was the first major fic on FF.net, and because I stopped updating Fight our Battlecry. For awhile I had Ambiance beat on both counts, but people rarely follow deadfics.
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Icywinter said:
Lemmie make some points here.

First things first, the major gripe that I myself have with the story Ambience: A Fleet Symphony is that it breaks Suspension of Disbelief way too much. Already in the first chapter we are told that the main character has an unnatural hair colour, then we are told that somehow, somehow the Coalition had managed to clear two continents completely of radiation.

That is a feat that is still not possible today in 2016. And I don't see how a civilization torn asunder by nuclear war would be able to accomplish such a feat. Then, we are told that the main character is some sort of supersoldier-prototype that is, among other things, able to see in ultraviolet, immune to radiation (what), and has super-strength. And if I recall the story correctly, he was born after the nuclear weapons hit.

Or maybe he was a mutant or something, I don't know. Radiation and mutations don't work that way either.

Then the silly gun-porn that serves to do nothing but bloat the story.

Regarding his other fics, he has no working knowledge of how an actual military works. CARDIV commander while being in another branch of the military? And in your twenties to boot? Again, major SoD breaking.

And I would forgive it if his characters were not complete mary sues.
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Whiskey Golf said:
I have to disagree with the claim that suspension of disbelief is for a short while. 20 chapters in and I found way too many issues with the story, which gave me the impression that the author 1) has no idea how anything military works and 2) kept throwing things in that he thought were cool.

Like the MC is in his what, early 20s and is already a full Commander? That's seriously bull. He's an officer who's been a drill instructor? Nope, that doesn't work - DIs are enlisted. Close order drill ends up upsetting the shipgirls until they're in tears? Jesus fuck what the hell are you doing wrong - I've done close order drill since I was seven (yay malaysian education system). Drill is never traumatising if you do it properly.

The biggest thing that jumped at me though is that the MC is narcoleptic and apparently he's still serving. Even though he may fall asleep at any moment and not know what happened to him. Nope. Do not pass go, do not collect your commission, you are medically unfit to serve.


:D

As the formerly anonymous secret Beta of GG, this pleases me. I should point out that GG has been restarted and will be repolished and emerge anew. GG thread here, btw.

Also if you want other fics involving aircraft carriers as MC, check out @Sheo Darren 's Eternity (i prefer the SB version because it's got more extra stuff and my omakes lol #SyokSendiri)


Nah, people riff on other people's work all the time. Ralson's Let's Read of the Honorverse is particularly scathing (and makes me feel even more guiltier that I used to like Honor Harrington a decade ago).
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I just realised. I might have made a horrible mistake.
I just invited the heavyweight Kancolle authors to an analysis of fanfiction.
An analysis of fanfiction.
Anyway, I've checked Eternity, and it seems like most of it is side stories. So, the main story comes when?
And when it comes to suspension of disbelief, this is Kancolle. Magical shipgirl magic and all that jazz.
Now back to the main point...
I just invited the heavyweight Kancolle authors to an analysis of fanfiction.
An analysis of fanfiction.

(Runs away)

Edit: Is this Hieda? It's missing the Kancolle tag.
Ambience: A Fleet Symphony (Kantai Collection AU Fanfiction) | Page 2
 
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jusblekyuri said:
I just realised. I might have made a horrible mistake.
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Story of my life. Instead of doing work stuffs that I was supposed to, I was farming Lexington Center Challenge with sasahara17 in The Division. This is the new number one delay for GG/

I just invited the heavyweight Kancolle authors to an analysis of fanfiction.
An analysis of fanfiction.
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Plus this is distracting me more from continuing the restart of GG. :V

(/jk :p)

Anyway, I've checked Eternity, and it seems like most of it is side stories. So, the main story comes when?
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...the main story is already out, yo. Here, here, here, and here. I mean by all means skip the sidestories, but then you miss out on things like Abyssal!Miyuki stalking Inazuma and DesDiv 6 defending her, or the return of the first US shipgirl, or what is the foundation of Montana's character arc, or how Willie Dee and Nagato form a surprising yet enduring friendship. Or Ace Combat Eternity. Or who the Abyssal boss in the Atlantic is. It's evil Abyssal USS America and she's got Tomcats and Hornets up the wazoo.

Plus well a fair bit of the provisional canon and sidestories are my doing lol. I kinda accidentally ended up the go-to person for Montana and Jersey (partially).

And when it comes to suspension of disbelief, this is Kancolle. Magical shipgirl magic and all that jazz.
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Magic shipgirl magic is one thing, but when what the author writes contravenes... well pretty much damn near everything, there's not much that shipgirl magic can justify.

Like, fairy marines boarding abyssals and fighting from the inside? Fairy!Chesty Puller leading 1st Marines, whom not all the demons of hell can overcome. Done.

Liberty Ship shipgirls hauling thousands of tons of cargo somehow? Sure, that might break the minds of logistics officers, but it's justifiable/

The shit that goes down in Mobius Platoon and A Fleet Symphony? Nope. Expecting shipgirl magic to justify the SOD breakage doesn't work.
 
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Firekicker1 said:
It's not that bad guys. No, this is not bait. I mean, I didn't react that badly when I first read it.

Though, that maybe in part that it's my first Kancolle fanfic and grimderp story. And I tend to shutdown my brain when reading. And I have low standards.

...yeah, I should be ashamed of myself, shouldn't I? *unfollows and unfavourites*

*proceeds to get beaten up by the Kancolle community*
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All i can say is tahu Tak apa. :V
 
MissingJimbo said:
Yeah. That doesn't make any sense whatsoever. My theory is that it's a cover story. Sasahara had an idea for a story where a bunch of girls are kidnapped and turned into shipgirls against their will, and were thoroughly brainwashed in the process. I suspect the same happened here, and that there were some cybernetic enhancements involved somewhere. The classic "Restraining bolt" that droids get in science fiction, so to speak.
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HAHAHAHA.

I have read this story. I have read it quite far.

YOU HAVE NOT EVEN BEGUN TO SCRATCH THE SURFACE OF THIS FIC.

TURN BACK NOW!

ABANDON ALL HOPE YE WHO ENTERS HERE.
De3ta said:
Okay so her stabs her in the head, and somehow that hacks her brain so she sees him as her commander.
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Hehehehe.

Oh boy. I say again, you have not even begun.

She knows he's not her commander but he is. Because he hacked her brain.

(Gee I wonder what else that kind of sounds like, placing someone in one's head as their 'master' in all but name.)

Mmm That brainwashing.

And it gets. Worse. (But that would be spoilers.)
 
De3ta. I solemnly wish you the patience and perseverance of a saint for daring to slog through this bog of black peat.

Because Godoka f*cking damn it, when a story starts with this dog-kicking asshole who stabbed Murakumo's skull and brainwashed her into an obedient little doll, and when I think about how someone can write more than two million words of this loathsome tripe makes me very, very, very angry with that someone.

"Ignore Ambience, Sheo," mutter the moon rabbit destroyers. "We all know it's a dark place. Let's go back to the light."

Yes, dears.

Good luck, De3ta. I really mean it, dude. You'll need it, I fear, for you're a braver man than me.
 
This seems like something I would have read when I first discovered fanfiction over ten years ago, because look at that cool, dark character. He's so strong and doesn't take shit from anybody. :V

Honestly, brainjacking a girl in a ridiculously violent way just because she doesn't listen to him and has legitimate questions about what the hell's going on would probably still have made me drop the fic even back then, because I can't stand this kind of shit. Maybe she would have cooperated with him on her own, if he just patiently explained wht the shit's going on, but no he jsut rams a knife in her brain. I'll just assume this will happen to every girl he meets and will just get even worse as thing progress.

This is the guy we are supposed to cheer for? Why is everybody so obsessed with making their protagonist a fucking asshole?
 
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