Better prepare yourselves, because after I am done watching Warcraft. I am going to be cooking up another round of spoiler pasta. It will be related to something on the previous page.
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De3ta reads....Ambience: A Fleet Symphony.
- Thread starter De3ta
- Start date
De3ta
Mae
- Location
- The hellish pit known as New Jersey
Hash's Pasta 15
Tonight's midnight AFS Spoiler Pasta will be brought to you by......
Or in other words, why it is a VERY, VERY, VERY bad idea to give Shigure any reason to kill you.
And now you know why you don't push Shigure past her breaking point unless you want to receive a manhandling, murder-mode mutilation, courtesy of Shigugu.
Or in other words, why it is a VERY, VERY, VERY bad idea to give Shigure any reason to kill you.
We're jumping into Chapter 30, during the latter half of the Battle of Mobile. The action takes place in the town of Evergreen, Alabama, north of Mobile, where Mobile's forces have set up their northern defense line. Supplementing Mobile's forces defending this line are Damon and Amagi (he's piloting the HC-3 Merlin, she's shooting out from cargo bay), along with Haruna and 4 Shiratsuyu-class destroyers on the ground with the defenders. The first serving of Pasta will show why Shigure is being reluctant to fight. The second serving will show exactly what happens if she's pushed too far.
"Listen up, girls, I'ma go through this one more time! As soon as the boys in town give the signal, shell the fuck outta the freeway! Use your sensors to lock onto their position! Haruna and Amagi'll target the helis, you destroyers get the ground armor! If anyone gets through, gun 'em down, that's why y'all have guns too!"
Yuudachi tugs at her 12.7cm turrets. "It's kinda hard to move around with these out, poi," Yuudachi says awkwardly, finding it difficult to wield her shotgun effectively. "It sucks that we can't move around as fast as we can on water while on land, poi..." She notices Shigure, who is also leaning against the same truck wreck for cover, sitting and gazing down at her rifle, her front bangs covering her eyes. "Shigure, what's wrong, poi? We're 'bout to get into a fight, you know, poi!"
Shigure does not reply to Yuudachi, so Yuudachi kneels down and gently shakes her ship sister's shoulder. "Shigure? Shigure, hey, what's wrong, poi? Are you hurt somewhere? Hey - "
"Yuudachi," Shigure says quietly, "you know that I don't like fighting."
Yuudachi bites her lower lip. "Shigure...now isn't the time for this, poi. We have a job to do, and besides, you're helping to protect the people in that city, poi! I mean, sure, we might not know them personally and we only know through our shared memories, but still, poi!"
"I'm not talking about that!" Shigure sharply exclaims, turning suddenly to Yuudachi. "I understand that we're here to protect those people! It's just - it's just that, I don't want to have to kill people to do it...!"
Yuudachi simply gapes at Shigure. "What the hell are you talkin' about, Shigure, poi? Of course we have to kill them, poi! It's not like an enemy's just going to go away if we tell them to, poi! We have to do something 'bout it, and that's our job - "
"Yes, but we were constructed as ships, not soldiers!" Shigure cries. "We were built to fight other ships out at sea, not to fight and kill other people!"
Samidare, hearing Shigure's words nearby, peeks around her nearby cover to listen.
"Well, what's the difference, poi!?" Yuudachi argues back, trying to get her ship sister focused back on the fight. "Either way, we're gonna end up killing people, poi! Why are you bein' so immature, Shigure, why, poi!? Don't you realize that even if we were fighting out at sea, we'd still end up killing the people who're on the enemy ships, poi?! Stop being so mushy-mushy right no, poi!"
"A-At least - " Shigure clenches her teeth, tears starting to well up in her eyes, "at least, at the very least, if we were fighting at sea, we wouldn't have to see the people we'd have to kill! I don't want to have to see the people I shoot die in front of me! I don't want that! I don't want to do this! I don't want to have to get used to the feeling of murder!"
Samidare ducks back behind her cover, having a mixed bag of feelings inflating inside her chest. She, too, does not know what to feel. She had browsed through their shared memories that all the ship girls now have, and she had seen the images and playbacks of people that the other ship girls had killed. The sight was disturbing, far from the movie-esque explosions and long-range, carefully calculated sea battles that they were meant to perform. Samidare herself was never comfortable with the fact that she and her comrades would have to kill people as part of the job. But at the same time, they, at the end of the day, were ultimately soldiers following their Admiral's orders. Never mind the fact that they were defending a town that probably wouldn't survive without their help, they needed to act professional.
Yuudachi opens her lips repeatedly, trying to interrupt Shigure, but she cannot find the words necessary to convince Shigure otherwise. Shigure, glaring back at Yuudachi, now letting her tears flow and drip down her cheeks, continues her angry frustration.
"I don't want to get used to that, Yuudachi, why don't you understand - "
"I DO UNDERSTAND, SHIGURE!" Yuudachi screams, and grabbing Shigure's right shoulder, she smacks her ship sister across the left cheek. "I do get it, everyone does! But goddamn it, stop being so fucking selfish! This shit's not all about you, you, you! Everyone's gotta kill people, everyone's probably thinking the same thing! But do you see anyone else being a bitch about it? No! Why should you be too? Why now, of all times, when we're just 'bout to get into a battle do you have to do this, huh!? At least wait until everything's done and we've done our job to blow off about that!" Yuudachi snatches Shigure's Tavor-21, which is laying on its side on the ground beside Shigure, and shoves it into Shigure's arms. "Think of it this way, Shigure, if it's anything that I can say to convince you to fight right now! You're gonna feel a lot worse after knowing you let a whole bunch more people who aren't soldiers die 'cause of you not fighting, poi! Now c'mon, they're coming, poi!"
Yuudachi tugs at her 12.7cm turrets. "It's kinda hard to move around with these out, poi," Yuudachi says awkwardly, finding it difficult to wield her shotgun effectively. "It sucks that we can't move around as fast as we can on water while on land, poi..." She notices Shigure, who is also leaning against the same truck wreck for cover, sitting and gazing down at her rifle, her front bangs covering her eyes. "Shigure, what's wrong, poi? We're 'bout to get into a fight, you know, poi!"
Shigure does not reply to Yuudachi, so Yuudachi kneels down and gently shakes her ship sister's shoulder. "Shigure? Shigure, hey, what's wrong, poi? Are you hurt somewhere? Hey - "
"Yuudachi," Shigure says quietly, "you know that I don't like fighting."
Yuudachi bites her lower lip. "Shigure...now isn't the time for this, poi. We have a job to do, and besides, you're helping to protect the people in that city, poi! I mean, sure, we might not know them personally and we only know through our shared memories, but still, poi!"
"I'm not talking about that!" Shigure sharply exclaims, turning suddenly to Yuudachi. "I understand that we're here to protect those people! It's just - it's just that, I don't want to have to kill people to do it...!"
Yuudachi simply gapes at Shigure. "What the hell are you talkin' about, Shigure, poi? Of course we have to kill them, poi! It's not like an enemy's just going to go away if we tell them to, poi! We have to do something 'bout it, and that's our job - "
"Yes, but we were constructed as ships, not soldiers!" Shigure cries. "We were built to fight other ships out at sea, not to fight and kill other people!"
Samidare, hearing Shigure's words nearby, peeks around her nearby cover to listen.
"Well, what's the difference, poi!?" Yuudachi argues back, trying to get her ship sister focused back on the fight. "Either way, we're gonna end up killing people, poi! Why are you bein' so immature, Shigure, why, poi!? Don't you realize that even if we were fighting out at sea, we'd still end up killing the people who're on the enemy ships, poi?! Stop being so mushy-mushy right no, poi!"
"A-At least - " Shigure clenches her teeth, tears starting to well up in her eyes, "at least, at the very least, if we were fighting at sea, we wouldn't have to see the people we'd have to kill! I don't want to have to see the people I shoot die in front of me! I don't want that! I don't want to do this! I don't want to have to get used to the feeling of murder!"
Samidare ducks back behind her cover, having a mixed bag of feelings inflating inside her chest. She, too, does not know what to feel. She had browsed through their shared memories that all the ship girls now have, and she had seen the images and playbacks of people that the other ship girls had killed. The sight was disturbing, far from the movie-esque explosions and long-range, carefully calculated sea battles that they were meant to perform. Samidare herself was never comfortable with the fact that she and her comrades would have to kill people as part of the job. But at the same time, they, at the end of the day, were ultimately soldiers following their Admiral's orders. Never mind the fact that they were defending a town that probably wouldn't survive without their help, they needed to act professional.
Yuudachi opens her lips repeatedly, trying to interrupt Shigure, but she cannot find the words necessary to convince Shigure otherwise. Shigure, glaring back at Yuudachi, now letting her tears flow and drip down her cheeks, continues her angry frustration.
"I don't want to get used to that, Yuudachi, why don't you understand - "
"I DO UNDERSTAND, SHIGURE!" Yuudachi screams, and grabbing Shigure's right shoulder, she smacks her ship sister across the left cheek. "I do get it, everyone does! But goddamn it, stop being so fucking selfish! This shit's not all about you, you, you! Everyone's gotta kill people, everyone's probably thinking the same thing! But do you see anyone else being a bitch about it? No! Why should you be too? Why now, of all times, when we're just 'bout to get into a battle do you have to do this, huh!? At least wait until everything's done and we've done our job to blow off about that!" Yuudachi snatches Shigure's Tavor-21, which is laying on its side on the ground beside Shigure, and shoves it into Shigure's arms. "Think of it this way, Shigure, if it's anything that I can say to convince you to fight right now! You're gonna feel a lot worse after knowing you let a whole bunch more people who aren't soldiers die 'cause of you not fighting, poi! Now c'mon, they're coming, poi!"
Well, things are about to get bad........and worse. A renewed offensive by Atlantan forces attacking the northern defense line, with M1 tanks taking the charge, have effectively allowed their lighter vehicles to encircle the 4 destroyers. Samidare and Suzukaze are almost instantaneously taken out of the fight by concentrated small arms fire, Yuudachi quickly follows, and this is where Shigure gets pushed to the breaking point. I'll rewind first to where Yuudachi has a gorey moment.
"We got 'em! They're those ship girls that these fuckin' redneck bastards down here in Mobile's got!" another mercenary exclaims. "These fucking bitches...they're the ones that fucked up our convoy? Tch..." he tries to grab and lift up Yuudachi by the hair, but as soon as he tries to, Yuudachi bites into his throat so hard that she crushes his Adam's apple and esophagus with one bite. The other soldiers immediately light Yuudachi up, and she goes down screaming once more.
"You fucking whore - pretendin' to be down 'n all!" three soldiers rush up to her and, at point blank range, unload the magazines of their assault rifles into her. Only the gunshots are able to drown out Yuudachi's screams, and Suzukaze and Samidare suffer the same fates as they, too, try to resist for as long as they can. Only Shigure, who is on her knees, holding her left arm painfully, is not doing much of anything.
"At least this one's quiet when she knows they've lost," one mercenary snarls nastily, and he kicks Shigure right in the face and knocks her down. Yelping at the sudden blow, Shigure looks up to see the mercenary crush his boot onto her throat and grind it there, choking her. "O'Reilly better fucking give me at least a 300% percent raise in my salary for this...losing all this shit just for these fucking things..." He glances down at Shigure, who is closing her eyes with her hands on his ankle. She seems to be whispering something. "Hey, you bitch, if you got something to say, say it, I may or may not shoot you in the head once, seeing how you freaks can don't seem to get hurt at all from getting shot."
Shigure murmurs, "Restrictions lifted. Running Guilt Protocol."
The mercenary watches as Shigure opens her eyes again. What used to be dull blue eyes are now replaced by pure red ones, the same color of blood.
Shigure has already ripped off the leg that he is using to step on her throat by the time he realizes what kind of color her eyes are, and Shigure, swinging his leg, slams his own foot into his own throat so hard that when he falls over, he slowly chokes to death from a crushed trachea. As Shigure is slowly getting back up to her feet, the other mercenaries around her, seeing what she has done to one of their comrades, all unload their weapons at her, but all the bullets simply stop in midair just before they can hit her, as if they are recreating a scene from the Matrix. Terrified and in awe at what they are seeing, the mercenaries back away from the ship girls, afraid that they may suffer the same fate as the guy on the ground without his leg, choking to death.
"So you finally decided to use it, poi?" Yuudachi groans as she, too, gets to her feet, wiping blood off her mouth. "That's the Shigure I know, poi."
"These are evil people," Shigure replies slowly. Even her tone of voice has changed drastically. "They were hurting my sisters. They all deserve to die."
"My thoughts exactly, poi," Yuudachi agrees, looking around them with livid eyes and a wild, crazy grin. "Nightmare Protocol!"
Yuudachi disappears, and with her disappearance, four soldiers immediately find their throats slashed out and drop to their knees, clutching at their necks and struggling to breathe. Shigure, her body resonating with the power of the navitasium cube, slowly and methodically moves about like a ballet dancer, and with every ornate move that she makes with her arms, raising them and flicking them about in the manner of an orchestra conductor, the mercenaries who surround her, one by one, mysteriously suffer horrible lacerations, and in some cases, dismembered limbs and heads. The manner in which Shigure is coldly murdering these men is such that she is splattering blood everywhere, almost as though she is making it rain blood. Samidare and Suzukaze, once they realize that their older ship sisters are fighting back, stare in awe and terror at the spectacle of the sheer massacre, and drops of blood pelt everything and everyone. While Yuudachi's victims are screaming or choking noisily to death, none of Shigure's victims make any such noise and simply drop lifeless when they are hit, and just like that, every one of the mercenaries who attacked them are lying on the freeway, their bodies and parts of their bodies strewn about, very much so dead. Yuudachi returns to Shigure's side, still with that crazy, wild grin of hers.
"Hehehe, that was fun, poi~" Yuudachi giggles, licking her fingers clean of blood. "I bet it won't be everyday that we can have such an amazin' party like this, poi. Better enjoy it while we can, poi."
"I would rather not," Shigure murmurs. She, too, reaches up to her hair, and when she looks at her left hand, it is dripping with blood. "This is...a disgusting rain. I abhor it."
"Aw, c'mon, Shigure, not every rain's gonna be nice, you know that already, poi."
"You fucking whore - pretendin' to be down 'n all!" three soldiers rush up to her and, at point blank range, unload the magazines of their assault rifles into her. Only the gunshots are able to drown out Yuudachi's screams, and Suzukaze and Samidare suffer the same fates as they, too, try to resist for as long as they can. Only Shigure, who is on her knees, holding her left arm painfully, is not doing much of anything.
"At least this one's quiet when she knows they've lost," one mercenary snarls nastily, and he kicks Shigure right in the face and knocks her down. Yelping at the sudden blow, Shigure looks up to see the mercenary crush his boot onto her throat and grind it there, choking her. "O'Reilly better fucking give me at least a 300% percent raise in my salary for this...losing all this shit just for these fucking things..." He glances down at Shigure, who is closing her eyes with her hands on his ankle. She seems to be whispering something. "Hey, you bitch, if you got something to say, say it, I may or may not shoot you in the head once, seeing how you freaks can don't seem to get hurt at all from getting shot."
Shigure murmurs, "Restrictions lifted. Running Guilt Protocol."
The mercenary watches as Shigure opens her eyes again. What used to be dull blue eyes are now replaced by pure red ones, the same color of blood.
Shigure has already ripped off the leg that he is using to step on her throat by the time he realizes what kind of color her eyes are, and Shigure, swinging his leg, slams his own foot into his own throat so hard that when he falls over, he slowly chokes to death from a crushed trachea. As Shigure is slowly getting back up to her feet, the other mercenaries around her, seeing what she has done to one of their comrades, all unload their weapons at her, but all the bullets simply stop in midair just before they can hit her, as if they are recreating a scene from the Matrix. Terrified and in awe at what they are seeing, the mercenaries back away from the ship girls, afraid that they may suffer the same fate as the guy on the ground without his leg, choking to death.
"So you finally decided to use it, poi?" Yuudachi groans as she, too, gets to her feet, wiping blood off her mouth. "That's the Shigure I know, poi."
"These are evil people," Shigure replies slowly. Even her tone of voice has changed drastically. "They were hurting my sisters. They all deserve to die."
"My thoughts exactly, poi," Yuudachi agrees, looking around them with livid eyes and a wild, crazy grin. "Nightmare Protocol!"
Yuudachi disappears, and with her disappearance, four soldiers immediately find their throats slashed out and drop to their knees, clutching at their necks and struggling to breathe. Shigure, her body resonating with the power of the navitasium cube, slowly and methodically moves about like a ballet dancer, and with every ornate move that she makes with her arms, raising them and flicking them about in the manner of an orchestra conductor, the mercenaries who surround her, one by one, mysteriously suffer horrible lacerations, and in some cases, dismembered limbs and heads. The manner in which Shigure is coldly murdering these men is such that she is splattering blood everywhere, almost as though she is making it rain blood. Samidare and Suzukaze, once they realize that their older ship sisters are fighting back, stare in awe and terror at the spectacle of the sheer massacre, and drops of blood pelt everything and everyone. While Yuudachi's victims are screaming or choking noisily to death, none of Shigure's victims make any such noise and simply drop lifeless when they are hit, and just like that, every one of the mercenaries who attacked them are lying on the freeway, their bodies and parts of their bodies strewn about, very much so dead. Yuudachi returns to Shigure's side, still with that crazy, wild grin of hers.
"Hehehe, that was fun, poi~" Yuudachi giggles, licking her fingers clean of blood. "I bet it won't be everyday that we can have such an amazin' party like this, poi. Better enjoy it while we can, poi."
"I would rather not," Shigure murmurs. She, too, reaches up to her hair, and when she looks at her left hand, it is dripping with blood. "This is...a disgusting rain. I abhor it."
"Aw, c'mon, Shigure, not every rain's gonna be nice, you know that already, poi."
And now you know why you don't push Shigure past her breaking point unless you want to receive a manhandling, murder-mode mutilation, courtesy of Shigugu.
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- Location
- ⇙
If this was true, then why were you just able to gun three of them down? If you can't hurt them with the weapons you and your group have and you know it then why haven't you run the fuck away you stupid idiot? And why was Yuudachi screaming when she was shot, if she doesn't get hurt by it?
Side LR update, featuring salty Whiskey.
De3ta
Mae
- Location
- The hellish pit known as New Jersey
(Side Update for ya, something very stupid.)
Hello all! It's D-Dog, back again in fic apocalyptia! Ain't life grand?
Jimbo: We reading more Ambience or are we doing Lady Liberty?
Well my wolfy friend, the Doc name is Side LR, so you tell me!
Breakaway25: and yet another shitty KC fic appears. This fannon seems to spawn these like cockroaches.
Greek: welp, here we go!
Greek: Pretty sure it's the cockroaches that write these.
Jimbo: Nuking these roaches won't do diddly squat. That's why we're here, saying cryptic things.
Tavish:Tavish present.
Break, call yaself Break, it'll save typing time.
Break: I am, that was just once to avoid confusion
Jimbo: I'm pretty much the only notable "Jimbo" on SB and SV, so…
Greek: I just copy and pasta my name. Makes it so much faster
Now, tell me, what *are* we reading today boys and girls?
Tavish: Lady Liberty. A fanfic written by F-14 Tomcat Lover.
Greek: we're reading something about 'murican kongous, written by some guy who hates Whiskey Golf.
Break: This guy PMed me on FF.net about this some six months ago. Ignored it out of hand though.
Tavish: But Whiskey Golf is such a nice guy! Why the hate?! D:
Jimbo: Bongou bongou bongou I don't wanna leave the Kongou, oh no, no, no, no~.
Tavish: Note to self: Tell de3ta to replace what jimbo typed above with the actual link to the music.
Greek: well, lets get on with it!
CORRECT! Lady Liberty, written by F-14 Tomcat Lover! 4k words, published back in march. We have the mercy of a short fic this time.
Greek: what the fuck kind of username is that. Is he sexually attracted to F-14s or something?
Jimbo: >F-14 Tomcat Lover
>RAZGRIZ INTENSIFIES
Tavish: People usually either fuck a boat or a Apache attack helicopter these days. Also Fox two.
Jimbo: I get that.
Break; We're too close, going to guns.
Says the boatfuckers.
Greek:
Break: I just realized how appropriate it is that I have the Top Gun soundtrack playing right now.
NOW ONTO CHAPTER ONE…...without a title, because at the time it's the only chapter.
Greek: we're going to read this as it happens aren't we?
Jimbo: Oh god…
GREEK NO!
(aaaaaaaaaaand you gave him a fucking idea!)
God help us all
Tavish: Just go and begin the first paragraph, i have a shipgirls i need to turn to monsters.
Greek: …
Jimbo: AWACS. You need help.
Tavish: NO. I IS FINE. NO NEED HELP. DD6 MONSTER BEST IDEA.
WG: He once accused me of being a draft dodger and being a woman. Now the idea of girl whiskey isn't inherently bad since i could totes be like my mom or jie jie but eeeehhhh the context was pejorative.
WG: He also accused me of being a gay suck up trying to sleep my way to the top. *shrug*
Break: just get this on with so I can get this out of my system.
*Daze observes silently*
TO THE PROLOGUE! AS FUN AS SEEING Y'ALL TYPE OVER EACH OTHER IS! Also hello Whiskey!
WG: Hello de3ta. Actually i suppose he might have some point, my current PSO2 is a pretty waifu instead of a righteous gundam of justice metal hero lol. Will drop in and out.
Greek: AWACS NO
Tavish: AWACS YES
Daze: Give us the summary at least.
Jimbo: American! Kongou. Basically a ripoff of Sky's *Indestructible Spirit*.
Greek: From what I know, this going to be another Ambiance-like clusterfuck.
I WILL DAG NABBIT!
**CHAPTER ONE: WHAT EVER THE FUCK**
Daze: Freedom me likey~
Jimbo: [MURICA INTENSIFIES]
Greek: oh god, even the chapter names are bad.
WG: at least it's just one chapter, Greek.
Break: He went full Murica, never go full Murica.
Jimbo: Then again, you must be, Break. Otherwise you wouldn't have joined the Navy and instead went Pro Ball.
Break: Wait, what?
Jimbo: You never played Metal Gear Rising?
Break: I've never played any of the Metal Gear games.
Jimbo: Neither have I, but I know enough to know they're goddamn classics.
Tavish: …. Played College Ball. Don't FUCK WITH THEM SENATOR
This is whyRabbit KC fans hate us.
Tavish: Fuck the Kelinci! Fuck her!
WG: Break, the big bad of Metal Gear Rising was captain of the football team at UT. He then went Navy after college instead of pro ball, went into the SEALs. Then politics after the Navy. Fights raiden to a standstill.
Also no fuck rabbits. Rabbits are food of peasants and should be eaten in stew or roasted over a fire with english herbs.
Jimbo: Wait? This means that I've now turned Break into one of the most AWESOME villains ever. So… when do the nanomachine injections start?
The Premise ladies, Gentlemen, and warships of all ages!
"she was originally laid down for the Dai Nippon Teikoku "
I hate it already…...
Daze: Well. I mean...
Greek: It makes no sense.
Break: Let me start the list: 1 USN doesn't use battlecruisers. They don't fit our doctrine. 2. USN doesn't buy ships built by foreign powers, we have enough ports to make that a terrible idea. 3. The hull code for battlecruisers is CC not BC, a point that I made with this blowhole. 4. Liberty is an idea, something that we don't name ships after. Battlecruisers were supposed to be battles, ie. Lexington, Saratoga…
WG: He mentions Shiloh-class battlecruisers later though, Break.
Greek: WE MUST GO DEEPER
Daze: Eh, I'm out. Sayonara!
Greek: See ya Daze
Not even the fic proper, and we already lost someone. This will be gooooood.
Tavish: Basically, if the USN decided to buy ships from foreign nation/power, then it's not longer america anymore and you had fucked up the plot and timeline.
Wg: Tav, US doesn't buy foreign ships, foreign buys US ships.
Greek: yep.
Tavish: tl;dr F-14 Tomcat Lover decided to begin his fic with a Henderson scale of Plot something.
Jimbo: A paragraph in and we already lost one. Damn.
Break: I'll try to keep the pontificating to a minimum, but damn, research dude, research. I know you've read my stuff, and I make it a habit to research the crap out of everything.
NOW! TO THE FIC!
Greek: the stupid in this fic is so bad. Its an actual physical pain I can feel.
Use Italics, they look better.
WG: eh that's style. I like using bold for timestamps. I blame JAG for that.
Jimbo: Obligatory "poi~".
Tavish: Just to mention this, I will record this after we done with a bonus on recording of Sheo's review. And suddenly that Kongou bongou song appeared on my playlist. Fun.
Break: wait, Solomons, Solomon Islands? Welcome to the redundant department of redundancy. And I agree with WG on the timestamps thing.
WG: Tav i will record MY review in cold british fury! That originated from a malaysian jungle
Greek: I want to sleep, but I also want to see this.
I finally got Whiskey-Sempai to record my LR! I need to capitalize on his hatred more often!
Wg: and my attempts to break into profession
First off, these are some lazy fuckin' names.
Jimbo: …
Break: GAWDDAMIT, more WoWS inspired naval combat. THERE ARE NO HE SHELLS OR AP SHELLS, JUST COMMON SHELLS.
Tavish: "I sexually attracted to Apache Battl- NO NO NO" TAVISH DON'T YOU DARE.
Jimbo: As Break said. Naval combat is a lot more intricate than "Load shell, aim towards enemy and blow them to hell".
Greek: someone is going to have to explain common shells to me.
Break: Wait, naming a ship after an Native American tribe? It's like this guy took the naming conventions, tore them to shreds, then ate them for good measure.
Tavish: IIRC, USN used city names and states for their ships names, right?
Break: Cruisers were cities, Battlecruisers were battles, and "Large" Cruisers were territories.
WG: Tribes seem a very Canadian and British thing. Tribal-DDs, HMCS Iroquios…
Double use of "They" and "It" one after the other. *Ding*
Jimbo: Oh god, the pronoun game.
First Commandment of the De3ta Bible, don't do that shit. Mix it up a little so it looks better.
Tavish:Tell me with the truth, him and my attempt at writing, which one is better?
Jimbo: While somewhat disturbing, your writing is leagues better, AWACS.
Break: There were no CVE groups in the Pacific during 1942.
Greek: at this point I'm waiting for him to use CVNs.
WG: Helium powered CVNs, he thinks fission reactors run off helium.
Okay.
Jimbo: Der fuck?
Tavish: Who is Apache? Before she was Apache?
Greek: that paragraph made literally no sense.
Break: YOU DON'T CAPTURE SHIPS IN WWII. THE RANGES ARE TOO GREAT. Wait… Baltic? As in Russian Baltic?
Jimbo: And even if you get close, they're loaded with angry dudes and AA guns that can easily be turned on boarding parties.
Greek: obligatory WITNESS ME!
Tavish: Tell me guys, the US Navy never went into the european front, or did they?
As someone with no boat knowledge, I find this silly and inaccurate.
Jimbo: Live rounds used dye to begin with, that way ships could track their shot placement and land the next salvo more accurately.
Break: that part makes sense at least, but Freedom? Dude the naming conventions are on on frikking wikipedia.
MHMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM, THE TYPO GAME IS STRONG.
"Her admiral in agreement" *DING*
Break: Wait.. Is she somehow controlling her hull? I think this is supposed to be ship combat, not shipgirls.
Wg: I think he's trying to do what I've been doing with Montana, and Sheo did with Nagato and Willie - the shpirit of the ship feels whats happening.
Greek: Think I'm gonna get off, having trouble staying awake.
Jimbo: Teitoku-sexuality intensifies?
Two down, four to go.
Tavish: I hope there's no the 3rd one that fell over and leaving.
Jimbo: Someone's salty as hell.
*Grabs Ice Tea* This is gonna be a long chapter. *Ding*
Break: This guy has 0 idea how naval combat works. None.
Jimbo: I don't think DDs and CLs would YOLO rush like that, even in desperation. O'Bannon and Laffey the First notwithstanding.
Break: Those attacks happened because the DDs got cut off from their fleets in the darkness.
"A tactical mistake with strategic implications. None of them good for the hated enemy"
Sounds like shit dialogue from a Godzilla film translated by your cousin earl in his van.
Break: Or something from Ambiance.
Ayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
Tavish: Let's not try to remember that piece of shit, we still have another piece of shit to read.
Everyone! Prepare your drink of choice, here's the list of sunk girls!
Langley bullying, someone get the cat repellant. I hear it does things to people's eyes.
Break: At least this part is sort of right. Langley and Houston went down at Java sea, Quincy, Astoria, and Vincennes went down at Savo island.
Jimbo: Did he imply that Arizona made it out of Pearl only to be sunk later?
Tavish: Blue?
Okay so is this *During* the War, is she referring *to* the war…..
Break: USS Blue DD-387, sunk during the first battle of Guadalcanal.
I suppose that's why she's "Missing" to her.
Tavish: Thanks for the info, Break.
Break: Don't understand the missing though, she was scuttled by friendly forces due to damage.
Stiiiiiiill going.
Tavish Torpedo Boats shipgirls? Or what?
Wg: no shipgirls yet tav, this is the spirit of the ship reflecting on lost ships. Probably.
Break: The sub was the USS Sealion BTW, and I think the DD he's talking about is USS Stewart.
Jimbo: >who were all lost when the Philippines were lost.
This, grammatically, makes no sense to me.
You see this….
THIS…..
Is dumb.I might forgive it in a better fic, but this so far has been both dull and a stupid read.
Jimbo: But wait, there's more?
Break: AGAIN WITH THE FRIKKIN BALTIC.
Jimbo: Even if we had been involved in the First World War earlier, I doubt we would've been at Jutland, as interesting as that could've been. Nevermind Germany's backyard.
Wg: surprisingly enough proto Malaysia was at Jutlan. HMS Malaya.
Break: Is he referring to an alternate WWI? Without context?
Jimbo: Probably. And it probably resembled the new Battlefield game, too.
Taking bet's, who the hell do you think this is!
Wg: Hiei.
Tavish: HIE~
Dammit Whiskey that's cheating and you know it!
WG: if you ain't cheating you ain't trying bro.
Jimbo: Oh boy…
Tavish: De3ta, just let it happen. Spoiling this is better.
Jimbo: I'm not terribly fond of Hiei as a character, but this is probably gonna be too much.
Break: you know any fight like this would be damn near BVR, right? Or at least have several dozen miles between the fleets.
Wg: no he does not, break. On the other hand i write jersey being able to see Montana dying from 20 miles out, but then jersey was also holding a Rover… Oops spoiler. Ah well.
If Hiei get's mentioned like Hiei one more time then I'm going to shove a Hiei in your Hiei.
Jimbo: I think Hiei is this guy's waifu. He's so far in denial that he hit Lake Victoria.
Tavish: Still not enough to satisfy his lust with F-14. Hiei is just another doll for testing purposes.
Break: So graphic...
WG: this doesn't really work for me. Is this supposed to farm whiskey tears and BB tears? Sheo does it better. Hell I do it better.
Forgot a space. *Ding*
Also DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSS. DESS! *DESS*
Jimbo: [ETERNITY INTENSIFIES]
[DESS INTENSIFIES]
[BLACK TEA DÆMON INTENSIFIES]
Tavish: Sheo Darren called, he want his Eternity back.
Break: So we try to shove in another surprise reveal? IT'S A TWOFER!
Wait I'm confused, I thought they stole Kongou or bought her or whatever, then made their own FBB's from that?
Jimbo: The IJN built a new one.
Wg: TWO NEW KONGOUS. ALL Y WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU EVEN ECONOMICS. Also de3ta fast bb and bb are just BB, same hull code.
Aaaand there's the migraine….*Ding*
Break: But Kongou was never Kongou at all, she was Liberty. THIS MAKES NO GODDAMNED SENSE
Tavish: REMEMBER THE LAW OF SHIPS, THE ONE CALLED WASHINGTON TREATY OR SOMETHING.
Break: that was in 1921, Kongou was laid down before then.
Jimbo: Washington Naval Treaty. Pretty much axed a lot of peoples' plans for their fleets.
I really, *really* hate these fight scenes. And they've benn the entiere fucikn chapter!
Break: If the supposed battlecruisers aren't suited for they type of fight, WHY THE FUCK ARE THEY HERE?
Jimbo: CCs in a close-range slugging match? Isn't this how the Brits lost like, three or four at Jutland?
Tavish: I though Close Combat are DD things? Or not all all?
Break, talk to me. The fuck is this.
Break: He's talking about the fact that the armor has been upgraded to prevent a Royal Navy style mag det. I think the serious accident is referring to Mutsu. Jeez this guy is bad at context.
Jimbo: Well then…
Jimbo: Then again, I don't think we built her to RN standards with authentic hidden flaws.
WG: Look peps, jutland was also because the brits said, "i say old beN, what good is safety, we must have a more ferocious rate of fire! Leave all the doors open, chop chop, we have shells to fire!" And then bam. Brit damcon wasn't as good as us or german damcon.
You keep mentioning this like I'm supposed to give a fuck. I don't, this means nothing to me.
Tavish: Dude! Just say it like "That Battle" or something like that, It's TIRING TO SEE BALTIC AGAIN AND AGAIN!
Break: Yeah, this guy does not understand context at all.
Jimbo: FOR GOD'S SAKE SHOW US!! DON'T TELL US REPEATEDLY!!
WG: much of his writing that i've seen has been faux historical nonsense and mecha profiles and things.mi'm a little surprised he actuslly wrote this - i've seen lots of vaporware from him as long as ive known him.
Literally repeating yourself. *Ding*
Break: What department?
I have no idea. Maybe the normal BBs or something.
Jimbo: Again, the fuck?
Wg: you cant exactly uparmor gamazines tho, since thats all in the inside.
Break: Does this person understand USN Doctrine, at all?
Jimbo, we gotta do the thing. One three….
One….
Two….
Three…
SUCH
Jimbo: A LUST FOR REVENGE!! WHOOOOOO~!!
WHO WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! WHO WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-OOOOOOOOO-OOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Tavish: Don't you dare making my vocal cord ripped out. Please.
Jimbo: [VENGEFUL OWL INTENSIFIES]
Break: Go look up Mahan dude, then try to push this shit off on me.
Wg: also he forgets or ignores that lex and sara were converted before thry were complete as CCs. It makes nk sense to convert completed CCs as CVs. Hell the US would have scrapped Liberty! That makes more sense!
Jesus H christ on a pikestaff this makes ME hate America.
Tavish: Is this the wonders of brainwashing? Turning a British/Japanese into a full Murican? Scary.
Break: HE WENT FULL MURICA!!
Jimbo: *Guitar riff* Amer~i~caaa~… *riff* Amer~i~caaaa~…
WG: dear god. I write yamato/ montana as someone who embraced america but she was still conflicted about that at the start.
Tavish: This is just like she was already ordered, no, compelled to do so, to act like an american and embraced it like a slave to it's master.
Break: we remember that this isn't a girl yet, but a pure spirit. It's not like she knew anything else but America.
SUCH
LUST
REVENGE
WHO.
Break: Why do you care about ships you never knew/had a connection to?
WG: just because they had your name? This feels rather strange to me. And this is ripped from Eternity, but swapped. There it's Kongou II who resents Indestructible because she's in her shadow, and Hiei-tachi always want Kongou-oneesama first, kongou-chan second.
At least Kongou II has Goto's love for her. Even if that love ends with them running a dagashi shop in the boonjes lol.
I know that Feel. **World of Warships Flashbacks**
Break: It's surprise buttsex time. Someone call Jingles.
Jingles: Howdy Folks! (Just joking. IRL Jingles too busy with his TOG 2 and his Garupans figurines)
Imuya dammit! I told you to stop doing this shit to people I like…**Remembers what this is**...Carry on.
Also, doesn't Jingles have a Kirishima to mic check?
Break: his comp background is a pic of Kirishima, you decide.
Is it just me or has this fight taken a slightly sexual bent.
Jimbo: How did an entire plane shove itself down her smokestacks?
Tavish: Accuracy, but that's BS.
Wg: well when a carrier wants to lewd a bc she sends a plane and makes sure it goes in.
Break: We do realize that kamikaze attacks didn't begin until 1944, right?
WG: Break, this is a guy who was amazed that i could find out a hidden secret data… Offroad speed of a T-80. Which was like 10 seconds of google, wikipedia and FAS.
Tavish: At this point, Japan still have enough Ace Pilots and Pilots reserves, and planes.
Jimbo: I believe it was 1944, at the Battle of the Philippine Sea.
Break: It was in the aftermath of Samar, the first ships hit were the Taffy 3 survivors. St. Lo was the first ship sunk.
Jimbo: Another reason why Wikipedia sucks.
Break: Well Samar was a part of Philippine Sea
Jimbo: Point.
I imagine this as a final "fuck you," to this whiney little bugger from Dess.
Break: Again, why do these ships have a connection at all? At least in Sky's fic, he sets it after they come back and creates a believable connection.
Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaagiiiiiiiiiic.
Jimbo: It's like Yamato/Enterprise because they were the respective symbols of their nations' naval forces. Or Saratoga/Nagato because they were nuked together.
Okay, what.
Break: Duuuude, that just went to a dark place.
Tavish: Uh.
Jimbo: Yandere Kongou? Yeah, fuck this, I'm out. *Commits Sudoku*
*Ding*
THEN, THERE WERE THREE!
Tavish: UH
Thankfully this is a line break, so what are your thoughts so far all?
Tavish: Here's my thoughts about it: Uh. Yes. Uh.
Jimbo: An absolute shitfest. Horribly inaccurate. Even Hideous no Fuckyou is better than this. And I can't believe I'm saying that.
Break: I did not think it was possible to do less research than Fuckyou, I was wrong.
I like how you two agree.
Tavish: To be fair, Hackyuu can be a good writer, if he can just not focus on stale gun porn and actually just set the story normally. Atleast for the AFS.
Raise your hand if you're sick of the Dinging and the ringing. *Ding*
Jimbo: CLIFFHANGER
Tavish: You are not a magus, text. You are not gonna summon a servant.
Break: And yet someone else copies the drumbeat thing Sasahara wrote a long time ago.
Jimbo: Over a year and GG's legacy still lives on. Sasahara left us his great -isms.
Tavish: And i can't help but wonder if that's a good thing or not.
Break: Kinda hated when all the writers did was try to copy him or write GG omakes. We had no real new KC content for over a year because of it.
Add it to the list of "Memes that need to die," then. *Ding*
Jimbo: I think that's a ship's telegraph.
Break: No, it's the goddamned Liberty Bell.
Jimbo: Welp… I'm sure the theft of the Declaration of Independence factors into this somehow. That, and a Mason treasure.
$20 it's actually that, taking bets now.
Break: Because the whole reason he named her Liberty was to use that joke.
Tavish: My ears hurt. Maybe because i am not a murican, and so i can't listen to the great bell of UNITED STATES OF FUCKING AMERICA. Is it true that only the true patriotic of american that can only hear the sound of the bells of Liberty?
Is he just copying actualy Navy songs at this point?
Break: OH WHAT THE FUCK. HE'S STEALING MY IDEAS. That was a plotpoint from Battlecry. Hell it was the reason I named that fic Fight our Battlecry.
I will take that as a maybe.
Jimbo: Also, I think he's butchering the lyrics and using that to make a bad interservice rivalry joke.
Break: Considering they're out of order… and copied directly from Wikipedia
Fuck it, for the remainder of the fic the sound of me drinking will be Dess. *DESS*
Jimbo: Wait? Buddy? Is he still alive?
Break: What did I tell you? What did I fucking tell you? It's the damn Liberty Bell.
Tavish: MY EARS CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE, FUCK THE DING RING DING BULLSHIT, FOR FOOK SAKE, MOTHER FUCKER FUCK FUCK FUCK I AM NOT A MURICAN STOP IT PLEASE
*Pats* Here, this should help. *Hands Aspirin and ice tea*
Tavish: Fasting. FASTING.
…..dear god ya shoulda told me! I'd have waiting until morning!
Jimbo: If I remember correctly, fasting in a religious sense is meant to purify. And we're reading something far from purifying.
Tavish: Yes. Yet i press on. Trying futilely to see something worth purified from this pile of shit.
Oh dear god it's like that one "Kongou stays British" Fic that Sheo did. But worse. Check out @Sheo Darren on Fanfiction.Net. *Plug*
Break: That was Sky's fic BTW.
Jimbo: What. The. Fuck?
Break: Pith helmet… PITH HELMET? WHAT THE HELL?
Was it? Somone @ Sky for me I cannot recall his SV name. Swear I read *something* similar from Sheo though….
Jimbk: @Skywalker_T-65
Tavish: Skywalker T-65. Or what Jimbo said.
That's one X away from being Lewd, adn two away from resembling my eyes while reading this.
Jimbo: And we have our antagonist?
Break: It's just nearby, doesn't matter where, just nearby.
*Hugs Tav*
Tavish: I swear to gott, if they add one MORE of that schiesse ding fucking ring again….
Jimbo: A toy? REALLY!?
It's not cute to point out how annoying that was, it's just irritating. You bastard.
Jimbo: I'm off to preserve what's left of my sanity. I can already see black tea at the edges of my vision like any first-person shooter.
Tavish: Bye, Jimbo.
Also END TO THE PROLOUGE.
Tavish: yey
Break: just post this so I can go to bed.
BUT WAIT, THERE"S MORE!
Jimbo: AAAAAGGGGGHHHHHH!!
Tavish: De3ta no
Break: Let me guess a long winded author's note that is all preening and turns everyone off to your actual story?
AUTHORS NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTE!
WELL WHAT THE FUCK DO YA KNOW!
Jimbo: Read: massive ripoff.
Tavish: You forget a part of Eternity. Sheo called and wanted it back.
Break: Read: I have no original ideas, or life.
@Skywalker_T-65 YOU COULD HAVE STOPED THIS!
Jimbo: So she's basically fucking Sonichu? Oh god… oh god…
Break: Your advanced warning was a FF.net PM that he promptly ignored/laughed at, and you sent one to me, one in which I critiqued yoru research fails. Which you promptly ignored.
Tavish: Sonichu remarks is actually reserved for Hackyuu though. But whatever. For me, hackyuu is KC! Sonichu.
Jimbo: PITH HELMETS ARE BRITISH YOU DUMBASS!!!
Break: Yeah USN never used them. At all.
That sounds like a Porno, he stole this from a Porno.
Jimbo: BURNING LOVE BOAT.
Tavish: AND IT'S "CAPTAIN STUBING", NOT STEUBING.
Break: Nah it's an old sitcom
MOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE, CHAPTEEEEEEEERS.
Jimbo: [INTERNAL SCREAMING] I'm off.
Break: Why are you revealing characters before they're introduced? WHY?
Sis-Kongou.
Tavish: So, Mini-kongou or basically Urakaze with brown hair and Kongou hairstyle and FBB rigging.
Break: LIBERTY WAS NEVER NAMED KONGOU IN YOUR DUMB UNIVERSE. If you make an alt!history, at least remember your damn alt!history.
SHOW US IN THE FIC, DON'T TELL US NOW. YOU TWAT.
Tavish: ….
Break: Don't tell us in the damn author's notes, tell us in the story.
AND NOW IT'S OVER, WE CAN FINALLY DIE.
Tavish: God bless my voice.
GOODNIGHT HOLLYWOOD!
Hello all! It's D-Dog, back again in fic apocalyptia! Ain't life grand?
Jimbo: We reading more Ambience or are we doing Lady Liberty?
Well my wolfy friend, the Doc name is Side LR, so you tell me!
Breakaway25: and yet another shitty KC fic appears. This fannon seems to spawn these like cockroaches.
Greek: welp, here we go!
Greek: Pretty sure it's the cockroaches that write these.
Jimbo: Nuking these roaches won't do diddly squat. That's why we're here, saying cryptic things.
Tavish:Tavish present.
Break, call yaself Break, it'll save typing time.
Break: I am, that was just once to avoid confusion
Jimbo: I'm pretty much the only notable "Jimbo" on SB and SV, so…
Greek: I just copy and pasta my name. Makes it so much faster
Now, tell me, what *are* we reading today boys and girls?
Tavish: Lady Liberty. A fanfic written by F-14 Tomcat Lover.
Greek: we're reading something about 'murican kongous, written by some guy who hates Whiskey Golf.
Break: This guy PMed me on FF.net about this some six months ago. Ignored it out of hand though.
Tavish: But Whiskey Golf is such a nice guy! Why the hate?! D:
Jimbo: Bongou bongou bongou I don't wanna leave the Kongou, oh no, no, no, no~.
Tavish: Note to self: Tell de3ta to replace what jimbo typed above with the actual link to the music.
Greek: well, lets get on with it!
CORRECT! Lady Liberty, written by F-14 Tomcat Lover! 4k words, published back in march. We have the mercy of a short fic this time.
Greek: what the fuck kind of username is that. Is he sexually attracted to F-14s or something?
Jimbo: >F-14 Tomcat Lover
>RAZGRIZ INTENSIFIES
Tavish: People usually either fuck a boat or a Apache attack helicopter these days. Also Fox two.
Jimbo: I get that.
Break; We're too close, going to guns.
Says the boatfuckers.
Greek:
Break: I just realized how appropriate it is that I have the Top Gun soundtrack playing right now.
NOW ONTO CHAPTER ONE…...without a title, because at the time it's the only chapter.
Greek: we're going to read this as it happens aren't we?
Jimbo: Oh god…
GREEK NO!
(aaaaaaaaaaand you gave him a fucking idea!)
God help us all
Tavish: Just go and begin the first paragraph, i have a shipgirls i need to turn to monsters.
Greek: …
Jimbo: AWACS. You need help.
Tavish: NO. I IS FINE. NO NEED HELP. DD6 MONSTER BEST IDEA.
WG: He once accused me of being a draft dodger and being a woman. Now the idea of girl whiskey isn't inherently bad since i could totes be like my mom or jie jie but eeeehhhh the context was pejorative.
WG: He also accused me of being a gay suck up trying to sleep my way to the top. *shrug*
Break: just get this on with so I can get this out of my system.
*Daze observes silently*
TO THE PROLOGUE! AS FUN AS SEEING Y'ALL TYPE OVER EACH OTHER IS! Also hello Whiskey!
WG: Hello de3ta. Actually i suppose he might have some point, my current PSO2 is a pretty waifu instead of a righteous gundam of justice metal hero lol.
Will drop in and out.Greek: AWACS NO
Tavish: AWACS YES
Daze: Give us the summary at least.
Jimbo: American! Kongou. Basically a ripoff of Sky's *Indestructible Spirit*.
Greek: From what I know, this going to be another Ambiance-like clusterfuck.
I WILL DAG NABBIT!
**CHAPTER ONE: WHAT EVER THE FUCK**
Daze: Freedom me likey~
Jimbo: [MURICA INTENSIFIES]
Greek: oh god, even the chapter names are bad.
WG: at least it's just one chapter, Greek.
Break: He went full Murica, never go full Murica.
Jimbo: Then again, you must be, Break. Otherwise you wouldn't have joined the Navy and instead went Pro Ball.
Break: Wait, what?
Jimbo: You never played Metal Gear Rising?
Break: I've never played any of the Metal Gear games.
Jimbo: Neither have I, but I know enough to know they're goddamn classics.
Tavish: …. Played College Ball. Don't FUCK WITH THEM SENATOR
This is why
Tavish: Fuck the Kelinci! Fuck her!
WG: Break, the big bad of Metal Gear Rising was captain of the football team at UT. He then went Navy after college instead of pro ball, went into the SEALs. Then politics after the Navy. Fights raiden to a standstill.
Also no fuck rabbits. Rabbits are food of peasants and should be eaten in stew or roasted over a fire with english herbs.
Jimbo: Wait? This means that I've now turned Break into one of the most AWESOME villains ever. So… when do the nanomachine injections start?
The Premise ladies, Gentlemen, and warships of all ages!
"she was originally laid down for the Dai Nippon Teikoku "
I hate it already…...
Daze: Well. I mean...
Greek: It makes no sense.
Break: Let me start the list: 1 USN doesn't use battlecruisers. They don't fit our doctrine. 2. USN doesn't buy ships built by foreign powers, we have enough ports to make that a terrible idea. 3. The hull code for battlecruisers is CC not BC, a point that I made with this blowhole. 4. Liberty is an idea, something that we don't name ships after. Battlecruisers were supposed to be battles, ie. Lexington, Saratoga…
WG: He mentions Shiloh-class battlecruisers later though, Break.
Greek: WE MUST GO DEEPER
Daze: Eh, I'm out. Sayonara!
Greek: See ya Daze
Not even the fic proper, and we already lost someone. This will be gooooood.
Tavish: Basically, if the USN decided to buy ships from foreign nation/power, then it's not longer america anymore and you had fucked up the plot and timeline.
Wg: Tav, US doesn't buy foreign ships, foreign buys US ships.
Greek: yep.
Tavish: tl;dr F-14 Tomcat Lover decided to begin his fic with a Henderson scale of Plot something.
Jimbo: A paragraph in and we already lost one. Damn.
Break: I'll try to keep the pontificating to a minimum, but damn, research dude, research. I know you've read my stuff, and I make it a habit to research the crap out of everything.
NOW! TO THE FIC!
Greek: the stupid in this fic is so bad. Its an actual physical pain I can feel.
Use Italics, they look better.
WG: eh that's style. I like using bold for timestamps. I blame JAG for that.
Jimbo: Obligatory "poi~".
Tavish: Just to mention this, I will record this after we done with a bonus on recording of Sheo's review. And suddenly that Kongou bongou song appeared on my playlist. Fun.
Break: wait, Solomons, Solomon Islands? Welcome to the redundant department of redundancy. And I agree with WG on the timestamps thing.
WG: Tav i will record MY review in cold british fury! That originated from a malaysian jungle
Greek: I want to sleep, but I also want to see this.
I finally got Whiskey-Sempai to record my LR! I need to capitalize on his hatred more often!
Wg: and my attempts to break into profession
First off, these are some lazy fuckin' names.
Jimbo: …
Break: GAWDDAMIT, more WoWS inspired naval combat. THERE ARE NO HE SHELLS OR AP SHELLS, JUST COMMON SHELLS.
Tavish: "I sexually attracted to Apache Battl- NO NO NO" TAVISH DON'T YOU DARE.
Jimbo: As Break said. Naval combat is a lot more intricate than "Load shell, aim towards enemy and blow them to hell".
Greek: someone is going to have to explain common shells to me.
Break: Wait, naming a ship after an Native American tribe? It's like this guy took the naming conventions, tore them to shreds, then ate them for good measure.
Tavish: IIRC, USN used city names and states for their ships names, right?
Break: Cruisers were cities, Battlecruisers were battles, and "Large" Cruisers were territories.
WG: Tribes seem a very Canadian and British thing. Tribal-DDs, HMCS Iroquios…
Double use of "They" and "It" one after the other. *Ding*
Jimbo: Oh god, the pronoun game.
First Commandment of the De3ta Bible, don't do that shit. Mix it up a little so it looks better.
Tavish:Tell me with the truth, him and my attempt at writing, which one is better?
Jimbo: While somewhat disturbing, your writing is leagues better, AWACS.
Break: There were no CVE groups in the Pacific during 1942.
Greek: at this point I'm waiting for him to use CVNs.
WG: Helium powered CVNs, he thinks fission reactors run off helium.
Okay.
Jimbo: Der fuck?
Tavish: Who is Apache? Before she was Apache?
Greek: that paragraph made literally no sense.
Break: YOU DON'T CAPTURE SHIPS IN WWII. THE RANGES ARE TOO GREAT. Wait… Baltic? As in Russian Baltic?
Jimbo: And even if you get close, they're loaded with angry dudes and AA guns that can easily be turned on boarding parties.
Greek: obligatory WITNESS ME!
Tavish: Tell me guys, the US Navy never went into the european front, or did they?
As someone with no boat knowledge, I find this silly and inaccurate.
Jimbo: Live rounds used dye to begin with, that way ships could track their shot placement and land the next salvo more accurately.
Break: that part makes sense at least, but Freedom? Dude the naming conventions are on on frikking wikipedia.
MHMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM, THE TYPO GAME IS STRONG.
"Her admiral in agreement" *DING*
Break: Wait.. Is she somehow controlling her hull? I think this is supposed to be ship combat, not shipgirls.
Wg: I think he's trying to do what I've been doing with Montana, and Sheo did with Nagato and Willie - the shpirit of the ship feels whats happening.
Greek: Think I'm gonna get off, having trouble staying awake.
Jimbo: Teitoku-sexuality intensifies?
Two down, four to go.
Tavish: I hope there's no the 3rd one that fell over and leaving.
Jimbo: Someone's salty as hell.
*Grabs Ice Tea* This is gonna be a long chapter. *Ding*
Break: This guy has 0 idea how naval combat works. None.
Jimbo: I don't think DDs and CLs would YOLO rush like that, even in desperation. O'Bannon and Laffey the First notwithstanding.
Break: Those attacks happened because the DDs got cut off from their fleets in the darkness.
"A tactical mistake with strategic implications. None of them good for the hated enemy"
Sounds like shit dialogue from a Godzilla film translated by your cousin earl in his van.
Break: Or something from Ambiance.
Ayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
Tavish: Let's not try to remember that piece of shit, we still have another piece of shit to read.
Everyone! Prepare your drink of choice, here's the list of sunk girls!
Langley bullying, someone get the cat repellant. I hear it does things to people's eyes.
Break: At least this part is sort of right. Langley and Houston went down at Java sea, Quincy, Astoria, and Vincennes went down at Savo island.
Jimbo: Did he imply that Arizona made it out of Pearl only to be sunk later?
Tavish: Blue?
Okay so is this *During* the War, is she referring *to* the war…..
Break: USS Blue DD-387, sunk during the first battle of Guadalcanal.
I suppose that's why she's "Missing" to her.
Tavish: Thanks for the info, Break.
Break: Don't understand the missing though, she was scuttled by friendly forces due to damage.
Stiiiiiiill going.
Tavish Torpedo Boats shipgirls? Or what?
Wg: no shipgirls yet tav, this is the spirit of the ship reflecting on lost ships. Probably.
Break: The sub was the USS Sealion BTW, and I think the DD he's talking about is USS Stewart.
Jimbo: >who were all lost when the Philippines were lost.
This, grammatically, makes no sense to me.
You see this….
THIS…..
Is dumb.I might forgive it in a better fic, but this so far has been both dull and a stupid read.
Jimbo: But wait, there's more?
Break: AGAIN WITH THE FRIKKIN BALTIC.
Jimbo: Even if we had been involved in the First World War earlier, I doubt we would've been at Jutland, as interesting as that could've been. Nevermind Germany's backyard.
Wg: surprisingly enough proto Malaysia was at Jutlan. HMS Malaya.
Break: Is he referring to an alternate WWI? Without context?
Jimbo: Probably. And it probably resembled the new Battlefield game, too.
Taking bet's, who the hell do you think this is!
Wg: Hiei.
Tavish: HIE~
Dammit Whiskey that's cheating and you know it!
WG: if you ain't cheating you ain't trying bro.
Jimbo: Oh boy…
Tavish: De3ta, just let it happen. Spoiling this is better.
Jimbo: I'm not terribly fond of Hiei as a character, but this is probably gonna be too much.
Break: you know any fight like this would be damn near BVR, right? Or at least have several dozen miles between the fleets.
Wg: no he does not, break. On the other hand i write jersey being able to see Montana dying from 20 miles out, but then jersey was also holding a Rover… Oops spoiler. Ah well.
If Hiei get's mentioned like Hiei one more time then I'm going to shove a Hiei in your Hiei.
Jimbo: I think Hiei is this guy's waifu. He's so far in denial that he hit Lake Victoria.
Tavish: Still not enough to satisfy his lust with F-14. Hiei is just another doll for testing purposes.
Break: So graphic...
WG: this doesn't really work for me. Is this supposed to farm whiskey tears and BB tears? Sheo does it better. Hell I do it better.
Forgot a space. *Ding*
Also DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSS. DESS! *DESS*
Jimbo: [ETERNITY INTENSIFIES]
[DESS INTENSIFIES]
[BLACK TEA DÆMON INTENSIFIES]
Tavish: Sheo Darren called, he want his Eternity back.
Break: So we try to shove in another surprise reveal? IT'S A TWOFER!
Wait I'm confused, I thought they stole Kongou or bought her or whatever, then made their own FBB's from that?
Jimbo: The IJN built a new one.
Wg: TWO NEW KONGOUS. ALL Y WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU EVEN ECONOMICS. Also de3ta fast bb and bb are just BB, same hull code.
Aaaand there's the migraine….*Ding*
Break: But Kongou was never Kongou at all, she was Liberty. THIS MAKES NO GODDAMNED SENSE
Tavish: REMEMBER THE LAW OF SHIPS, THE ONE CALLED WASHINGTON TREATY OR SOMETHING.
Break: that was in 1921, Kongou was laid down before then.
Jimbo: Washington Naval Treaty. Pretty much axed a lot of peoples' plans for their fleets.
I really, *really* hate these fight scenes. And they've benn the entiere fucikn chapter!
Break: If the supposed battlecruisers aren't suited for they type of fight, WHY THE FUCK ARE THEY HERE?
Jimbo: CCs in a close-range slugging match? Isn't this how the Brits lost like, three or four at Jutland?
Tavish: I though Close Combat are DD things? Or not all all?
Break, talk to me. The fuck is this.
Break: He's talking about the fact that the armor has been upgraded to prevent a Royal Navy style mag det. I think the serious accident is referring to Mutsu. Jeez this guy is bad at context.
Jimbo: Well then…
Jimbo: Then again, I don't think we built her to RN standards with authentic hidden flaws.
WG: Look peps, jutland was also because the brits said, "i say old beN, what good is safety, we must have a more ferocious rate of fire! Leave all the doors open, chop chop, we have shells to fire!" And then bam. Brit damcon wasn't as good as us or german damcon.
You keep mentioning this like I'm supposed to give a fuck. I don't, this means nothing to me.
Tavish: Dude! Just say it like "That Battle" or something like that, It's TIRING TO SEE BALTIC AGAIN AND AGAIN!
Break: Yeah, this guy does not understand context at all.
Jimbo: FOR GOD'S SAKE SHOW US!! DON'T TELL US REPEATEDLY!!
WG: much of his writing that i've seen has been faux historical nonsense and mecha profiles and things.mi'm a little surprised he actuslly wrote this - i've seen lots of vaporware from him as long as ive known him.
Literally repeating yourself. *Ding*
Break: What department?
I have no idea. Maybe the normal BBs or something.
Jimbo: Again, the fuck?
Wg: you cant exactly uparmor gamazines tho, since thats all in the inside.
Break: Does this person understand USN Doctrine, at all?
Jimbo, we gotta do the thing. One three….
One….
Two….
Three…
SUCH
Jimbo: A LUST FOR REVENGE!! WHOOOOOO~!!
WHO WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! WHO WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-OOOOOOOOO-OOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Tavish: Don't you dare making my vocal cord ripped out. Please.
Jimbo: [VENGEFUL OWL INTENSIFIES]
Break: Go look up Mahan dude, then try to push this shit off on me.
Wg: also he forgets or ignores that lex and sara were converted before thry were complete as CCs. It makes nk sense to convert completed CCs as CVs. Hell the US would have scrapped Liberty! That makes more sense!
Jesus H christ on a pikestaff this makes ME hate America.
Tavish: Is this the wonders of brainwashing? Turning a British/Japanese into a full Murican? Scary.
Break: HE WENT FULL MURICA!!
Jimbo: *Guitar riff* Amer~i~caaa~… *riff* Amer~i~caaaa~…
WG: dear god. I write yamato/ montana as someone who embraced america but she was still conflicted about that at the start.
Tavish: This is just like she was already ordered, no, compelled to do so, to act like an american and embraced it like a slave to it's master.
Break: we remember that this isn't a girl yet, but a pure spirit. It's not like she knew anything else but America.
SUCH
LUST
REVENGE
WHO.
Break: Why do you care about ships you never knew/had a connection to?
WG: just because they had your name? This feels rather strange to me. And this is ripped from Eternity, but swapped. There it's Kongou II who resents Indestructible because she's in her shadow, and Hiei-tachi always want Kongou-oneesama first, kongou-chan second.
At least Kongou II has Goto's love for her. Even if that love ends with them running a dagashi shop in the boonjes lol.
I know that Feel. **World of Warships Flashbacks**
Break: It's surprise buttsex time. Someone call Jingles.
Jingles: Howdy Folks! (Just joking. IRL Jingles too busy with his TOG 2 and his Garupans figurines)
Imuya dammit! I told you to stop doing this shit to people I like…**Remembers what this is**...Carry on.
Also, doesn't Jingles have a Kirishima to mic check?
Break: his comp background is a pic of Kirishima, you decide.
Is it just me or has this fight taken a slightly sexual bent.
Jimbo: How did an entire plane shove itself down her smokestacks?
Tavish: Accuracy, but that's BS.
Wg: well when a carrier wants to lewd a bc she sends a plane and makes sure it goes in.
Break: We do realize that kamikaze attacks didn't begin until 1944, right?
WG: Break, this is a guy who was amazed that i could find out a hidden secret data… Offroad speed of a T-80. Which was like 10 seconds of google, wikipedia and FAS.
Tavish: At this point, Japan still have enough Ace Pilots and Pilots reserves, and planes.
Jimbo: I believe it was 1944, at the Battle of the Philippine Sea.
Break: It was in the aftermath of Samar, the first ships hit were the Taffy 3 survivors. St. Lo was the first ship sunk.
Jimbo: Another reason why Wikipedia sucks.
Break: Well Samar was a part of Philippine Sea
Jimbo: Point.
I imagine this as a final "fuck you," to this whiney little bugger from Dess.
Break: Again, why do these ships have a connection at all? At least in Sky's fic, he sets it after they come back and creates a believable connection.
Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaagiiiiiiiiiic.
Jimbo: It's like Yamato/Enterprise because they were the respective symbols of their nations' naval forces. Or Saratoga/Nagato because they were nuked together.
Okay, what.
Break: Duuuude, that just went to a dark place.
Tavish: Uh.
Jimbo: Yandere Kongou? Yeah, fuck this, I'm out. *Commits Sudoku*
*Ding*
THEN, THERE WERE THREE!
Tavish: UH
Thankfully this is a line break, so what are your thoughts so far all?
Tavish: Here's my thoughts about it: Uh. Yes. Uh.
Jimbo: An absolute shitfest. Horribly inaccurate. Even Hideous no Fuckyou is better than this. And I can't believe I'm saying that.
Break: I did not think it was possible to do less research than Fuckyou, I was wrong.
I like how you two agree.
Tavish: To be fair, Hackyuu can be a good writer, if he can just not focus on stale gun porn and actually just set the story normally. Atleast for the AFS.
Raise your hand if you're sick of the Dinging and the ringing. *Ding*
Jimbo: CLIFFHANGER
Tavish: You are not a magus, text. You are not gonna summon a servant.
Break: And yet someone else copies the drumbeat thing Sasahara wrote a long time ago.
Jimbo: Over a year and GG's legacy still lives on. Sasahara left us his great -isms.
Tavish: And i can't help but wonder if that's a good thing or not.
Break: Kinda hated when all the writers did was try to copy him or write GG omakes. We had no real new KC content for over a year because of it.
Add it to the list of "Memes that need to die," then. *Ding*
Jimbo: I think that's a ship's telegraph.
Break: No, it's the goddamned Liberty Bell.
Jimbo: Welp… I'm sure the theft of the Declaration of Independence factors into this somehow. That, and a Mason treasure.
$20 it's actually that, taking bets now.
Break: Because the whole reason he named her Liberty was to use that joke.
Tavish: My ears hurt. Maybe because i am not a murican, and so i can't listen to the great bell of UNITED STATES OF FUCKING AMERICA. Is it true that only the true patriotic of american that can only hear the sound of the bells of Liberty?
Is he just copying actualy Navy songs at this point?
Break: OH WHAT THE FUCK. HE'S STEALING MY IDEAS. That was a plotpoint from Battlecry. Hell it was the reason I named that fic Fight our Battlecry.
I will take that as a maybe.
Jimbo: Also, I think he's butchering the lyrics and using that to make a bad interservice rivalry joke.
Break: Considering they're out of order… and copied directly from Wikipedia
Fuck it, for the remainder of the fic the sound of me drinking will be Dess. *DESS*
Jimbo: Wait? Buddy? Is he still alive?
Break: What did I tell you? What did I fucking tell you? It's the damn Liberty Bell.
Tavish: MY EARS CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE, FUCK THE DING RING DING BULLSHIT, FOR FOOK SAKE, MOTHER FUCKER FUCK FUCK FUCK I AM NOT A MURICAN STOP IT PLEASE
*Pats* Here, this should help. *Hands Aspirin and ice tea*
Tavish: Fasting. FASTING.
…..dear god ya shoulda told me! I'd have waiting until morning!
Jimbo: If I remember correctly, fasting in a religious sense is meant to purify. And we're reading something far from purifying.
Tavish: Yes. Yet i press on. Trying futilely to see something worth purified from this pile of shit.
Oh dear god it's like that one "Kongou stays British" Fic that Sheo did. But worse. Check out @Sheo Darren on Fanfiction.Net. *Plug*
Break: That was Sky's fic BTW.
Jimbo: What. The. Fuck?
Break: Pith helmet… PITH HELMET? WHAT THE HELL?
Was it? Somone @ Sky for me I cannot recall his SV name. Swear I read *something* similar from Sheo though….
Jimbk: @Skywalker_T-65
Tavish: Skywalker T-65. Or what Jimbo said.
That's one X away from being Lewd, adn two away from resembling my eyes while reading this.
Jimbo: And we have our antagonist?
Break: It's just nearby, doesn't matter where, just nearby.
*Hugs Tav*
Tavish: I swear to gott, if they add one MORE of that schiesse ding fucking ring again….
Jimbo: A toy? REALLY!?
It's not cute to point out how annoying that was, it's just irritating. You bastard.
Jimbo: I'm off to preserve what's left of my sanity. I can already see black tea at the edges of my vision like any first-person shooter.
Tavish: Bye, Jimbo.
Also END TO THE PROLOUGE.
Tavish: yey
Break: just post this so I can go to bed.
BUT WAIT, THERE"S MORE!
Jimbo: AAAAAGGGGGHHHHHH!!
Tavish: De3ta no
Break: Let me guess a long winded author's note that is all preening and turns everyone off to your actual story?
AUTHORS NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTE!
WELL WHAT THE FUCK DO YA KNOW!
Jimbo: Read: massive ripoff.
Tavish: You forget a part of Eternity. Sheo called and wanted it back.
Break: Read: I have no original ideas, or life.
@Skywalker_T-65 YOU COULD HAVE STOPED THIS!
Jimbo: So she's basically fucking Sonichu? Oh god… oh god…
Break: Your advanced warning was a FF.net PM that he promptly ignored/laughed at, and you sent one to me, one in which I critiqued yoru research fails. Which you promptly ignored.
Tavish: Sonichu remarks is actually reserved for Hackyuu though. But whatever. For me, hackyuu is KC! Sonichu.
Jimbo: PITH HELMETS ARE BRITISH YOU DUMBASS!!!
Break: Yeah USN never used them. At all.
That sounds like a Porno, he stole this from a Porno.
Jimbo: BURNING LOVE BOAT.
Tavish: AND IT'S "CAPTAIN STUBING", NOT STEUBING.
Break: Nah it's an old sitcom
MOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE, CHAPTEEEEEEEERS.
Jimbo: [INTERNAL SCREAMING] I'm off.
Break: Why are you revealing characters before they're introduced? WHY?
Sis-Kongou.
Tavish: So, Mini-kongou or basically Urakaze with brown hair and Kongou hairstyle and FBB rigging.
Break: LIBERTY WAS NEVER NAMED KONGOU IN YOUR DUMB UNIVERSE. If you make an alt!history, at least remember your damn alt!history.
SHOW US IN THE FIC, DON'T TELL US NOW. YOU TWAT.
Tavish: ….
Break: Don't tell us in the damn author's notes, tell us in the story.
AND NOW IT'S OVER, WE CAN FINALLY DIE.
Tavish: God bless my voice.
GOODNIGHT HOLLYWOOD!
De3ta
Mae
- Location
- The hellish pit known as New Jersey
Thank @Whiskey Golf for this one.
- Location
- 'Murica
Belated Battleships says otherwise. You can go full Murica, but only if you really go full murica. And use a proper battlewagon, not a Dess-knock off.
Jersey: As apparently the word's expert in denial of the romantical nature... fucking yes.
Doesn't he have a Kiritashima to bother?
Dangit, Sky, look what you've done.
Um... actually....
Wikipedia Article "Uniforms of the United States Navy said:
See above.
Whiskey Golf
Being of Editing & Technical Assistance
- Location
- Chained to my desk
@De3ta , @Sheo Darren wrote a snip where a shitty admiral and shitty JMSDF sent Kongou back to England because she was british, and insufficiently jap. That admiral was very shitty.
The RN shipgirls were sympathetic and understanding and welcomed Kongou to their ranks with open arms.
The RN shipgirls were sympathetic and understanding and welcomed Kongou to their ranks with open arms.
Whiskey Golf
Being of Editing & Technical Assistance
- Location
- Chained to my desk
No, she was thwarting shitty admiral's attempts to have his way with the shipgirls. He used troll logic to argue she was a british citizen and illegal alien in japan and needed to be deported. :/
Shitty admiral later died in an abyssal attack. I suspect he was fragged.
Nicholas
No longer teaching battlethings on a battleship
- Location
- Ashore again
- Pronouns
- He/Him
@Breakaway25 The Philippine Sea was the Turkey Shoot, actually. Samar was part of Leste Gulf.
- Location
- Void of Observation
I...I love you guys.
*doubles over from laughter*
Anyways, @De3ta, are you going to do random fics from now on?
Thank god I'm too obscure to ever get a lets read
*doubles over from laughter*
*feels so much better*
OBLIGATORY
Huh, why did the USN build the Lexington-Class hulls then, if they didn't like the concept?
Anyways, @De3ta, are you going to do random fics from now on?
Thank god I'm too obscure to ever get a lets read
Last edited:
- Location
- 'Murica
You say that now...
- Location
- Void of Observation
Murphy won't apply to me here
- at least 4 people on various sites promised me a comprehensive review of AC, but I seen none appear. Besides, that project is now on indefinite hold.It is also mediocre, thus not fun enough for a LR
So I'm absolutely, 100% confident that no one will ever touch that
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Whiskey Golf
Being of Editing & Technical Assistance
- Location
- Chained to my desk
As I understand it the Lexingtons were essentially experiments, though I'm sure @Skywalker_T-65 has a better understanding of what went on and can correct me.
Also, F-14 Tomcat Lover writes that the US actually completed the ficticious Shiloh-class battlecruisers, and then converted them to aircraft carriers. Ehhhhhhh nope, not gonna happen. You're better off scrapping the battlecruiser and building a new CV from the hull up. Lexington and Saratoga's conversions happened because they weren't fully complete and were basically just hulls, they hadn't gotten their guns and superstructure installed.
- Location
- Void of Observation
Not to mention that converted CV's suffered in performance compared to their built-to-order counterparts.
Mr Sky's History Lecture
Skywalker_T-65
Writer with too many ideas.
- Location
- United States
- Pronouns
- Plural/They/He/Her
AHHH THE PINGS
Joking aside, I will now hop in for once- since I'm busy and couldn't hope to participate in an LR as it goes on -with my Indy work, the context to a lot of this direct from the original request, and well...
Actual thought out history and economics.
To start, I'll pull quotes from the commentary:
To start, this is wrong. HMS Indefatigable was the first Brit lost at Jutland. She was lost at- forgive the military time, but sources are sources -at sometime around 16:02. HMS Queen Mary, the second of the three, was sunk around 16:25. This is important, because even the two closest sinkings are a good twenty minutes apart. Not 'mere minutes'.
And the last one? HMS Invincible, Indy's momboat? 18:30. Two hours after Queen Mary, two and a half after Indefatigable. This is hardly something hidden, just...got to bloody Wikipedia. It's also one of the minor historical quibbles here.
To be fair, Liberty- I'm not going to leave off the italics here. This is a badly done ship, not a character -would have had the original Kongou design. Complete with Brit-style magazine placement. Which is not as big an issue as it may seem because as WG said...Jutland was a combination of Beatty being an idiot and ignoring Brit CC doctrine- use your speed and range to avoid enemy fire -and charging in like a madman. He had something like ten minutes to shoot the Germans outside their range and...
Yeah.
That and Brit powder handling, which can be summed up as 'WANKERS who cares about SAFTEY we need to shoot FAST FAST FAST". Powder in the turrets. Safety doors left deliberately open, all that fun stuff.
I bring this up because upgrading Liberty's armor scheme isn't going to do much to change fundamental issues with it...issues that weren't even why the Brits lost ships at Jutland.
To crib from our thread master:
*Ding*
Not even basic historical research, check.
Y'know, I'm going into more detail with this in regards to the infamous PM, but it's not just two Kongous. This story takes the WNT and bends it over a table, to excuse the LEWWWDDD imagery. And the London Naval Treaty for that matter.
And, as Whiskey said, Economics in general. In many, many horrible ways. And I'm not even an economist, I'm a historian.
You don't even capture ships in World War One, which is where this came up. Again, will explain below.
Technically speaking, conversions from CCs to CVs have happened and are possible. And I do mean complete ones.
Courageous and Glorious say hi.
This said, if you have the ability to build proper carriers, and are already making the London Naval Treaty a non-starter, why convert complete CCs? Just build more Yorktowns. Or Essex early. Or...well, anything but conversions. Lex and Sara are special cases.
Because it's ripping off Indy, I presume. I had Indy caring about Hiei without ever meeting her, but it was very much an idealized thing. She loved them without knowing them, and never wanted to fight them. And I tried to be careful and logical about it.
Well, actually, organized Kamikazes did. Hornet, to use an example, got rammed by two planes in her final battle. One in her stacks, ironically, likely where this came from. Both of them were planes already damaged and going to crash though, so very much an act of desperation.
Come to think of it, Big Sister Enterprise also had that happen, when a land-based bomber tried ramming her earlier in the war.
I've really reached the point of 'oh god stop with Yamaprise' honestly, so yeah. It's like that.
Don't even get me started on Sara/Nagato. UGH
PINGS
Anyway, yeah, this is a direct ripoff of Indy. Which I sincerely hope is much better plotted and researched. With the amount of research that goes into it and Destiny, I could probably write a dissertation.
And I'm not joking.
I could have. I thought I did.
As Break said, I just ignored it. Not so much laughed as blue-screened at sheer braindead historical and economic idiocy, but ignored. Because I fully hoped that ignoring it would make it clear I did not endorse the idea. Jesus, I could never endorse something that twists history into a pretzel, then twists it again and again and again and again...
*Sky.exe resets*
Ahem. Anyway, commentary done, time for the request and the hilariously bad historical and economic breaking. Imma putting only chunks of it and under spoiler tags though. And also not quoting word for word.
Now, the issue with this should be fairly clear to anyone with a modicum of understanding in USN doctrine of the time. While there was some interest in a battlecruiser concept, the USN of 1912/1913 was not particularly inclined to build one. Oh sure, we had done design studies when Kongou was built. Because the Navy wanted something to counter those ships, likely where the 'FAF' came from. The issue though, is that the climate in those specific years? When a delayed Kongou could actually be bought?
The USN was more concerned with getting as many battleships as we could. More than anything else. The Lexingtons, the result of these studies, would not be approved until after Jutland. Getting the USN to not only buy Kongou- we don't buy from other nations -and then build her four sisters? Not bloody likely, if not because of the USN itself than because of Congress which didn't even want to approve battleship construction at the time.
Also, the text in the message implies that the USN built those four ships before WW1. Y'know, in the one year they would have had- if that -after finishing DESS.
EDIT as I am typing due to ninja:
As per above, we built them partially to counter Kongou, partially because during WW1 the USN realize 'hey guys, maybe we should have some battlecruisers'. The Lex sisters were the only ones we ever planned on though. Even then, more of a scouting force than actual line warships.
Again, issues here should be fairly obvious. First though:
We did. Battleship Division Nine, only ever four or five of our older coal-fired dreadnoughts, though. Because the Brits didn't have enough oil to supply their newer ships and our newer ships, but plenty of coal.
Tangent aside, the idiocy here is mindboggling. The approach to Wilhemshaven is one of the most heavily mined approaches in the world during the Great War. Furthermore, getting past German scouts (and the occasional sympathetic Dane) and through the Denmark Strait? Right past bloody Copenhagen? That wouldn't happen. It just wouldn't.
The Brits did a distant blockade of Germany during WW1 for good reason. They knew getting closer would mean a lot of mine explosions and risking the High Seas Fleet sortieing against them. The USN, who lacks the RN's experience, is sure as hell not pulling that off.
It's also more America-wank, since they win everything here and the Germans- who, y'know, typically sank more than they had sunk outside a couple cases -lost everything.
Furthermore, this is where Apache came from. SMS Teiwaz- more butchering of naming schemes, this time the German one -was the first of her class, captured by the Americans. And y'know what, let's do another spoiler tag:
Honestly, this is where economics starts to come into play, along with more doctrinal errors. Neither Germany nor the UK had the dockyards or resources to build five extra CCs each. Not a chance in hell. I had to go through major bloody contortions to justify Irresistible and Implacable (Indy's sister ships) being built. Irresistible, for example, wasn't finished until right before Jutland. And the Brits had to pull a lot of tricks to get just two extra ships. Leave alone five. When they would have just built more Tiger-class CCs in this case.
The Germans? They already were hurting their Army just funding what they historically built. Not only with the German Army sure as hell veto any ludicrous attempts to build five extra capital ships, the Kaiserliche Marine would never build Kongou clones. Even were they able to get the funding and somehow have complete plans to Kongou- never going to happen in either case -they wouldn't. Because Kongou, and Brit designs in general, are completely and totally counter to German CC doctrine. I like pointing out that SMS Seydlitz took a beating (21 main caliber hits, none smaller than 12in) that would sink many battleships at Jutland. You know why?
German CCs were built differently. Instead of sacrificing armor for speed, like everyone else from the Brits to the Japanese to the Americans (yes, Lex is here), they sacrificed gun caliber and a relatively minor amount of armor. Their ships were built tough, despite losing some firepower, so they could stand in the line of battle if needed.
Kongou is the exact opposite of German design and doctrine. She's a fast hunter, not designed to fight in the line of battle, but to hunt fast raiders and other battlecruisers. She would be completely out of place in the Kaiserliche Marine, and if they built extra ships to counter extra Brit ships, it would be either sisters to Seydlitz or more Derfflingers.
Moving on:
More economic and history twisting! As I said before, this is where the WNT is told to go out back and bend over. The USN would not get to build six battlecruisers, no sir. I had to twist history hilariously just to justify them getting CC Sara in Indy. Leave alone five more. The Brits would not let them, the Japanese would not let them. No one in their right mind would let them.
Furthermore, the German ships wouldn't have survived Scapa. And even if they did, they would have gone to the Brits, Italians, USN, French, and Japanese. Who would promptly use them as targets, scrap them, or something along those lines. Like they actually did with the ex-Imp German ships. They wouldn't go to Sweden and friends, who have zero use for a battlecruiser.
Nor would America buy them after this twisting of history, because why would we need four more ex-German ships? Why indeed.
It's also yet more MURICA F*** YEAH because the other nations in the WNT? Brits only get to keep a few extra 'modernized battleships' (what battleships, the Iron Dukes?) an extra Admiral-class CC, and their Kongou clones. The Japanese? Two more Hiei-class, as mentioned in the chapter above. Amagi completed as a battlecruiser- this thing twists history so much the Great Kanto Earthquake didn't happen -along with three modified versions of existing BBs. Not Tosa, so presumably modified Nagato-class ships? Who knows.
But compare the USN getting six new-built CCs, plus their already existing five Kongou-clones, and five ex-German Kongou clones. Sixteen battlecruisers, while the RN gets some old battleships, and six extra CCs. And Japan gets three, with three battleships. Fair eh?
OH! Wait, there's more!
MURICA also gets three modified (smaller) SoDak 1920s. And completed USS Washington (BB-47). So add that.
Yet, the WNT survived enough to make Lex and Sara still be conversions? Eh? That doesn't work that way. And the London Naval Treaty clearly never happened, because we didn't scrap any of these ships like we should have. Also, the original request mentions converting the three extra Lexingtons (Constellations) to CVs, not the Shilohs. So that might have changed, dunno. Continued below...
Finally, another late edit since this is getting hilariously long:
I explained the Lexingtons above, and also mentioned the Brits did convert fully complete CCs to CVs. It's possible. Just not economical, and frankly, if you're going to take the London Naval Treaty and shoot it in the head, why convert CCs? Just build more Yorktowns for the love of god.
Also, while as a general rule converted CVs suffered, Lex and Sara are the exception. They had some minor issues with their hangar space since they weren't designed as carriers, and thus, weren't as efficient as a purpose designed ship that size. However, they were otherwise very excellent carriers that in the form of Sara remained fully useful and competitive right up to the end of the WW2.
SWEET JESUS CHRIST THAT WAS LONG.
I wrote a history lecture. I wrote an honest-to-god history lecture.
passes out
EDIT: Also, this story has a grand total of 20 Kongous running around. Think about that.
Passes out again*
Joking aside, I will now hop in for once- since I'm busy and couldn't hope to participate in an LR as it goes on -with my Indy work, the context to a lot of this direct from the original request, and well...
Actual thought out history and economics.
To start, I'll pull quotes from the commentary:
To start, this is wrong. HMS Indefatigable was the first Brit lost at Jutland. She was lost at- forgive the military time, but sources are sources -at sometime around 16:02. HMS Queen Mary, the second of the three, was sunk around 16:25. This is important, because even the two closest sinkings are a good twenty minutes apart. Not 'mere minutes'.
And the last one? HMS Invincible, Indy's momboat? 18:30. Two hours after Queen Mary, two and a half after Indefatigable. This is hardly something hidden, just...got to bloody Wikipedia. It's also one of the minor historical quibbles here.
To be fair, Liberty- I'm not going to leave off the italics here. This is a badly done ship, not a character -would have had the original Kongou design. Complete with Brit-style magazine placement. Which is not as big an issue as it may seem because as WG said...Jutland was a combination of Beatty being an idiot and ignoring Brit CC doctrine- use your speed and range to avoid enemy fire -and charging in like a madman. He had something like ten minutes to shoot the Germans outside their range and...
Yeah.
That and Brit powder handling, which can be summed up as 'WANKERS who cares about SAFTEY we need to shoot FAST FAST FAST". Powder in the turrets. Safety doors left deliberately open, all that fun stuff.
I bring this up because upgrading Liberty's armor scheme isn't going to do much to change fundamental issues with it...issues that weren't even why the Brits lost ships at Jutland.
To crib from our thread master:
*Ding*
Not even basic historical research, check.
Y'know, I'm going into more detail with this in regards to the infamous PM, but it's not just two Kongous. This story takes the WNT and bends it over a table, to excuse the LEWWWDDD imagery. And the London Naval Treaty for that matter.
And, as Whiskey said, Economics in general. In many, many horrible ways. And I'm not even an economist, I'm a historian.
You don't even capture ships in World War One, which is where this came up. Again, will explain below.
Technically speaking, conversions from CCs to CVs have happened and are possible. And I do mean complete ones.
Courageous and Glorious say hi.
This said, if you have the ability to build proper carriers, and are already making the London Naval Treaty a non-starter, why convert complete CCs? Just build more Yorktowns. Or Essex early. Or...well, anything but conversions. Lex and Sara are special cases.
Because it's ripping off Indy, I presume. I had Indy caring about Hiei without ever meeting her, but it was very much an idealized thing. She loved them without knowing them, and never wanted to fight them. And I tried to be careful and logical about it.
Well, actually, organized Kamikazes did. Hornet, to use an example, got rammed by two planes in her final battle. One in her stacks, ironically, likely where this came from. Both of them were planes already damaged and going to crash though, so very much an act of desperation.
Come to think of it, Big Sister Enterprise also had that happen, when a land-based bomber tried ramming her earlier in the war.
I've really reached the point of 'oh god stop with Yamaprise' honestly, so yeah. It's like that.
Don't even get me started on Sara/Nagato. UGH
PINGS
Anyway, yeah, this is a direct ripoff of Indy. Which I sincerely hope is much better plotted and researched. With the amount of research that goes into it and Destiny, I could probably write a dissertation.
And I'm not joking.
I could have. I thought I did.
As Break said, I just ignored it. Not so much laughed as blue-screened at sheer braindead historical and economic idiocy, but ignored. Because I fully hoped that ignoring it would make it clear I did not endorse the idea. Jesus, I could never endorse something that twists history into a pretzel, then twists it again and again and again and again...
*Sky.exe resets*
Ahem. Anyway, commentary done, time for the request and the hilariously bad historical and economic breaking. Imma putting only chunks of it and under spoiler tags though. And also not quoting word for word.
Kongou is bought by MURICA, specifically as part of a- and I quote -'Fast Attack Force' for use in the Pacific. To get to the Philippines quickly in the event of a war with Japan. And she got four sister ships built.
Now, the issue with this should be fairly clear to anyone with a modicum of understanding in USN doctrine of the time. While there was some interest in a battlecruiser concept, the USN of 1912/1913 was not particularly inclined to build one. Oh sure, we had done design studies when Kongou was built. Because the Navy wanted something to counter those ships, likely where the 'FAF' came from. The issue though, is that the climate in those specific years? When a delayed Kongou could actually be bought?
The USN was more concerned with getting as many battleships as we could. More than anything else. The Lexingtons, the result of these studies, would not be approved until after Jutland. Getting the USN to not only buy Kongou- we don't buy from other nations -and then build her four sisters? Not bloody likely, if not because of the USN itself than because of Congress which didn't even want to approve battleship construction at the time.
Also, the text in the message implies that the USN built those four ships before WW1. Y'know, in the one year they would have had- if that -after finishing DESS.
EDIT as I am typing due to ninja:
As per above, we built them partially to counter Kongou, partially because during WW1 the USN realize 'hey guys, maybe we should have some battlecruisers'. The Lex sisters were the only ones we ever planned on though. Even then, more of a scouting force than actual line warships.
The ships would then be moved to the Atlantic during WW1. Whereupon they would fight the Battle of the Baltic that Break kept raging about. A battle between the USN and the Kaiserliche Marine, in the Baltic. After the USN managed to break past all the defenses in the Heliogoland Bight, through the Denmark Strait, and past Wilhemshaven, Hamburg, and Kiel. Without being seen. And managing to sink two battleships at their moorings.
Again, issues here should be fairly obvious. First though:
We did. Battleship Division Nine, only ever four or five of our older coal-fired dreadnoughts, though. Because the Brits didn't have enough oil to supply their newer ships and our newer ships, but plenty of coal.
Tangent aside, the idiocy here is mindboggling. The approach to Wilhemshaven is one of the most heavily mined approaches in the world during the Great War. Furthermore, getting past German scouts (and the occasional sympathetic Dane) and through the Denmark Strait? Right past bloody Copenhagen? That wouldn't happen. It just wouldn't.
The Brits did a distant blockade of Germany during WW1 for good reason. They knew getting closer would mean a lot of mine explosions and risking the High Seas Fleet sortieing against them. The USN, who lacks the RN's experience, is sure as hell not pulling that off.
It's also more America-wank, since they win everything here and the Germans- who, y'know, typically sank more than they had sunk outside a couple cases -lost everything.
Furthermore, this is where Apache came from. SMS Teiwaz- more butchering of naming schemes, this time the German one -was the first of her class, captured by the Americans. And y'know what, let's do another spoiler tag:
Here, it is mentioned that Germany built not just one, but five Kongou clones. The Teiwaz class. Furthermore, these are built on stolen plans from the Japanese, and because the Brits supposedly were doing the same. Which they did, the Reliant-class. A further five Kongou-clones.
Honestly, this is where economics starts to come into play, along with more doctrinal errors. Neither Germany nor the UK had the dockyards or resources to build five extra CCs each. Not a chance in hell. I had to go through major bloody contortions to justify Irresistible and Implacable (Indy's sister ships) being built. Irresistible, for example, wasn't finished until right before Jutland. And the Brits had to pull a lot of tricks to get just two extra ships. Leave alone five. When they would have just built more Tiger-class CCs in this case.
The Germans? They already were hurting their Army just funding what they historically built. Not only with the German Army sure as hell veto any ludicrous attempts to build five extra capital ships, the Kaiserliche Marine would never build Kongou clones. Even were they able to get the funding and somehow have complete plans to Kongou- never going to happen in either case -they wouldn't. Because Kongou, and Brit designs in general, are completely and totally counter to German CC doctrine. I like pointing out that SMS Seydlitz took a beating (21 main caliber hits, none smaller than 12in) that would sink many battleships at Jutland. You know why?
German CCs were built differently. Instead of sacrificing armor for speed, like everyone else from the Brits to the Japanese to the Americans (yes, Lex is here), they sacrificed gun caliber and a relatively minor amount of armor. Their ships were built tough, despite losing some firepower, so they could stand in the line of battle if needed.
Kongou is the exact opposite of German design and doctrine. She's a fast hunter, not designed to fight in the line of battle, but to hunt fast raiders and other battlecruisers. She would be completely out of place in the Kaiserliche Marine, and if they built extra ships to counter extra Brit ships, it would be either sisters to Seydlitz or more Derfflingers.
Moving on:
As per above, the Washington Naval Treaty is torn apart. The USN keeps Teiwaz, and eventually gets her four sister ships that were sold to other nations (the Nordics most prominently). For some reason. They are then sold to the USN, who doesn't want to fund an expensive CC building spree- despite building three of the Lex sisters as battlecruisers, and then the even larger and stronger Shiloh class. Because...yeah. This is also where the naming thing comes in. The captured German ships are named after Native American tribes- for some reason -and it's even acknowledged as 'unusual'.
At any rate, the USN goes into WW2 with sixteen battlecruisers. While BB and CV strength is pretty much the same.
At any rate, the USN goes into WW2 with sixteen battlecruisers. While BB and CV strength is pretty much the same.
More economic and history twisting! As I said before, this is where the WNT is told to go out back and bend over. The USN would not get to build six battlecruisers, no sir. I had to twist history hilariously just to justify them getting CC Sara in Indy. Leave alone five more. The Brits would not let them, the Japanese would not let them. No one in their right mind would let them.
Furthermore, the German ships wouldn't have survived Scapa. And even if they did, they would have gone to the Brits, Italians, USN, French, and Japanese. Who would promptly use them as targets, scrap them, or something along those lines. Like they actually did with the ex-Imp German ships. They wouldn't go to Sweden and friends, who have zero use for a battlecruiser.
Nor would America buy them after this twisting of history, because why would we need four more ex-German ships? Why indeed.
It's also yet more MURICA F*** YEAH because the other nations in the WNT? Brits only get to keep a few extra 'modernized battleships' (what battleships, the Iron Dukes?) an extra Admiral-class CC, and their Kongou clones. The Japanese? Two more Hiei-class, as mentioned in the chapter above. Amagi completed as a battlecruiser- this thing twists history so much the Great Kanto Earthquake didn't happen -along with three modified versions of existing BBs. Not Tosa, so presumably modified Nagato-class ships? Who knows.
But compare the USN getting six new-built CCs, plus their already existing five Kongou-clones, and five ex-German Kongou clones. Sixteen battlecruisers, while the RN gets some old battleships, and six extra CCs. And Japan gets three, with three battleships. Fair eh?
OH! Wait, there's more!
MURICA also gets three modified (smaller) SoDak 1920s. And completed USS Washington (BB-47). So add that.
Yet, the WNT survived enough to make Lex and Sara still be conversions? Eh? That doesn't work that way. And the London Naval Treaty clearly never happened, because we didn't scrap any of these ships like we should have. Also, the original request mentions converting the three extra Lexingtons (Constellations) to CVs, not the Shilohs. So that might have changed, dunno. Continued below...
Finally, another late edit since this is getting hilariously long:
I explained the Lexingtons above, and also mentioned the Brits did convert fully complete CCs to CVs. It's possible. Just not economical, and frankly, if you're going to take the London Naval Treaty and shoot it in the head, why convert CCs? Just build more Yorktowns for the love of god.
Also, while as a general rule converted CVs suffered, Lex and Sara are the exception. They had some minor issues with their hangar space since they weren't designed as carriers, and thus, weren't as efficient as a purpose designed ship that size. However, they were otherwise very excellent carriers that in the form of Sara remained fully useful and competitive right up to the end of the WW2.
SWEET JESUS CHRIST THAT WAS LONG.
I wrote a history lecture. I wrote an honest-to-god history lecture.
passes out
EDIT: Also, this story has a grand total of 20 Kongous running around. Think about that.
Passes out again*
Last edited:
- Location
- Void of Observation
Well, it was illuminating, so thanks for that, Sky
(And I really need to get back practising my sad rendition of a piano piece)
(And I really need to get back practising my sad rendition of a piano piece)
Exterminatus
Tsukumogami User
- Location
- Southern California
This behavior of impromptu ramming is not even that unique to the IJN and IJA. Akagi herself was about to be rammed by a B-26. If it had hit then it would have impacted Akagi's island, which might have killed Nagumo and his staff members right there. (Shattered Sword, 152)
The authors speculated that the B-26 may have been rendered unnavigable or the crew wanted to sell themselves dearly. To the relief of Nagumo and crew, it missed and landed into the ocean.
There were several ships that exchanged hands during the Russian Revolution IIRC and of course during WW2 there were the ABDA and Asiatic ships that got recommissioned into the IJN. However, it involved ground forces overrunning the area before the crew could scuttle their ships and in the latter case relied on the ships being near the coast in salvageable condition.
The only open ocean captures during the 20th century I could think of involved either merchant ships with limited/no armament and the u-boats. The latter cases were pretty much luck of the draw and extremely hard to replicate. Other than that the main method of exchanging services for ships was as war prizes or being sold off.
Whiskey Golf
Being of Editing & Technical Assistance
- Location
- Chained to my desk
Actually, @Breakaway25 I think he's referring to the Common Type-0 shells used for shore bombardment. Navweaps gives three shell types for the Vickers 14" gun in IJN service: Armor Piercing Capped, Type-0 HE, and Type-3 incendiary shrapnel, aka "Sanshiki dan!"
Breakaway25
All hail the Mighty Tomcat
- Location
- Stuck on the Quarterdeck
But @Whiskey Golf, that would require him to do research. This is. The old AP HE crap from WoWS
Whiskey Golf
Being of Editing & Technical Assistance
- Location
- Chained to my desk
Actually in a PM reply to me review, he brought up HE in a huff (which I was confused about because I'd never mentioned HE, so maybe he's already seen this thread, unless he was trying to preempt me), and very defensively said it was because Hiei and Kongou II were loaded with HE in anticipation of bombarding Henderson field.
2) The High Explosives were really the shot that was supposed to be used on Henderson Field. Liberty didn't know that and simply applied it as she thought. The Japanese were surprised in quite the same way as the ill-fated USS Atlanta and her group did in history to a group of Japanese ships, including a Battleship. Unable to switch the rounds in time, they were forced to fire the specialized ammunition until Armor-Piercing was available.
To which I was all "Uh yeah I didn't bring up HE as an issue, why are you making it an issue? BTW all APC rounds have dye marker." I mean let's be fair, poor choice of wording aside, that's not exactly something implausible. Recall Soviet tank doctrine: Always keep HEAT loaded as the ready ammo, because even if it's suboptimal, HEAT will still do some damage to whatever you shoot it at.
Dear god, why am I being the reasonable one here? :/
CompassJimbo
Where’s Your North?
- Location
- The former Rubber Capital of the World
I'm suggesting that as his next cosplay idea. Him as a Rear Admiral, Rita as Kirishima, and Eddy as… someone.
- Location
- 'Murica
20 Kongous running around, and you didn't even try for a "bend it over a dess" joke? For shame, for shame.