Damn, those goalposts got some legs.
CV12Hornet Cleans Out His Fanfiction Favorites List (Beware of Shit Taste)
- Thread starter CV12Hornet
- Start date
CV12Hornet
Riter.
- Location
- Tacoma, Washington
Y'all are making me regret ever saying that. Drop it.
Overcoming An Era + Trial by Ninja
New
CV12Hornet
Riter.
- Location
- Tacoma, Washington
As is a common problem with longer fanfics, Overcoming an Era suffers from a soft middle that's a bit of a slog to get through. At the minimum, between Alabasta and Banaro the fic feels like it's going through the motions, getting through obligatory necessary events before it can actually move forward. In particular, the relationship between Ace and Sabo, the emotional core of the story, doesn't budge for several chapters. Specific events also drag in their own right - the Marine base infiltration from Ace's cover story rapidly overstays its welcome.
But aside from that, the only other real problem is an inexplicable tendency to drop words at random. The first third of the story is quite solid, focused on Ace and Sabo getting to know each other again, and honestly, it's a pillar of the fic and something I quite enjoyed reading. It's an example of the restraint Beyond Kailani consistently shows - they bond quickly, but there are plenty of places where they don't line up anymore, both because of Sabo's amnesia and because they've just... changed in the last ten years. This part of the story also runs concurrently to the Straw Hats in Alabasta and Drum, thankfully not overshadowing their adventures. Once again, restraint rules here - I greatly appreciate Ace and Sabo splitting off after Alabasta, letting both groups do their own thing.
But then the fight with Blackbeard happens, and both Ace and Sabo are shipped off to Impel Down, and the fic turns the dial up to 11. The fic takes full advantage of Sabo's presence to ratchet up the tension - will he wake up in time? How much will he contribute? Can they save Ace at Marineford? Sabo's presence doesn't invalidate Luffy's struggles, and in all honesty without Luffy Sabo would've never been in a position to contribute. His memory finally comes back, in a way that feels earned. Seriously, those mental sequences with the burning door are brilliant.
And at the end of it all... Ace lives. And it feels like the fic's earned it. That's an accomplishment.
You're on the list.
The phrase "choked in the home stretch" comes to mind.
For about three-quarters of its runtime Trial by Ninja is great. It's kind of a Super Sakura story, in that it's all about Sakura and her attempts to get stronger after the Forest of Death, the usual premise for this kind of story, and a divergence AU branching off from the twin impacts of Kabuto not revealing his traitor status just yet and Sakura breaking free of Ino's chakra hair rather than getting bailed out by Inner Sakura, earning her a spot in the Chunin Exam Finals.
As with the previous fic, I admire the restraint shown. This fic does not go overboard with the powerups; Sakura's skills definitely feel like a branching path, a road she didn't take thanks to her apprenticeship with Tsunade. The fic uses Ebisu in a major capacity, for chrissakes. Similarly, the "jutsu thievery squad" concept for the timeskip period is inspired. It gets Sakura out of the village doing cool things and learning useful stuff, and also is a shinobi task that doesn't lean too far into the "messy black ops" depiction so common to Naruto fanfic. And through it all there's a palpable tension thanks to the fact that only the readers and Kabuto know he's still an explosive note primed to go off.
The one fly in the ointment, early on, is that several of the timeskips aren't transitioned very well, moving just a little too fast and leaving behind ground they should have covered. For example, there's a timeskip from the end of the Sand/Sound invasion to Sakura at Sasuke's bedside, a week after getting mind-whammied by Itachi. The only space devoted to the devastation and death of Sarutobi is some throwaway lines in Sakura's inner monologue. This is not the only place this happens and it contributes to a pace that's just a little too fast in spots.
This flaw completely bites the fic in the ass in the final quarter. Several developments do not feel adequately set up. Pretty much everything about Sasuke, for instance. He's given little focus and screentime in the middle of the fic, so the fact that Orochimaru flops out of his favor after only a month comes out of left field after a couple of chapters of me thinking that it would've been preferable for him to just have joined Orochimaru willingly as in canon. I'm also not happy about how easily Orochimaru goes down, not least because it happens because jacobk changes his Mangekyo's powers and source in incredibly lazy fashion. In 2012, long past when both were revealed by the manga.
Still, the fic goes down like melted butter and I enjoyed most of it. You're on the list.
- Location
- Caracas
He got folded by sasuke p.easily in canon tho? Orochimaru attempts to take over Sasuke's body and Sasuke imprisons him into a loop.
Then Itachi folds orochimaru like a cheap piece of paper.
What I want to say.
Orchimaru is a menace in part 1, he becomes something of a joke in part 2. Naruto has troubles with him, yet Sasuke easily "lol no" him
FourthWall
Love & Destroy
- Location
- Chiraq
I will never understand how people write this much, both on a physical and an "I should edit this" level.
Maybe it's college writing course brain rot, but I feel like someone would detonate my pancreas if I had spent over a novel's worth of words to not get out of the first arc.
- Location
- Oklahoma
I don't think comparing the word counts of serialized fiction (especially web serials) and published novels will result in anything meaningful, personally. They're simply different mediums.
A story written and released chapter by chapter, with constant audience interaction and feedback throughout the process, is never going to be as trimmed down as a novel. Nor does it need to be.
A story written and released chapter by chapter, with constant audience interaction and feedback throughout the process, is never going to be as trimmed down as a novel. Nor does it need to be.
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Ser_Serendipity
Building Character
Would and should, serial fiction is no excuse for that kinda bloat.Maybe it's college writing course brain rot, but I feel like someone would detonate my pancreas if I had spent over a novel's worth of words to not get out of the first arc.
FourthWall
Love & Destroy
- Location
- Chiraq
That's fine if these things are envisioned as serials that are meant to go on in perpetuity (or until the author gets bored), but the My Little Shinigami fic is an adaptation of a finite work. The work it's adapting was created serially to boot, and it is moving far slower than it's parent work did. The comparison is inevitable.
Furthermore, some old novels originally were written serially, chapter by chapter, with the added incentive of getting paid by the word, and they manage to be more svelte than this.
After a point it's less a matter of style and more a matter of excess.
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there's blood on your lies + Waiting for a Miracle + The Accidental Sith
New
CV12Hornet
Riter.
- Location
- Tacoma, Washington
I am once again reminded that chapters can be too short as well as too long. This is one of those cases where a long fic with short chapters leads to fatigue as the reader constantly resets their reading process. And just in general this feels really shallow. Like it conveys events well enough, but there's always some sort of depth missing, that it lurches to events too fast and doesn't let the downtime happen. Further, tonally and content-wise this isn't what I'm looking for from this premise. The summary promises a more comedic story than what we actually get, and there isn't nearly enough of my beloved fish out of water/outside context problem content for my tastes, not helped by sticking resolutely to Cynthia's viewpoint.
Add in my unfamiliarity with this part of the Pokemon mythos and I lost interest not far in.
Let's see... Chloe POV, starts with the Lila nonsense after an in media res opening...
Fuck this shit, I'm not putting up with this until the good stuff kicks in. You're not on the list.
So, starting with a 27,000-word chapter that goes over the backstory of the events of chapters 2-8 is certainly A Choice. It's also an insufferable angst-fest, one that judging from the tags is a mood that's going to continue, and is full of Hard Men Making Hard Decisions language.
Uh, no. Nope. Nope nope nope so much nope. You're not on the list.
- Location
- Omega
ClawedandCute's crackfics are much better. I enjoy her Spy Wars fic quite a bit, so I hope you'll review that one.
Mattman324
you expected some anime, non-IRL giant robot, eh?
- Location
- Working in the basement on my giant robot.
Yeah, serialized fiction in the 1800s tended to massively outsized novels even back then.
- Location
- Caracas
Honestly, at some point writers are better dividing their work into books.
I remember a naruto fanfic that is like 1.000.000 words - 1.500.000
And I just think nowadays "Couldn't they have split this into three or four books?"
I remember a naruto fanfic that is like 1.000.000 words - 1.500.000
And I just think nowadays "Couldn't they have split this into three or four books?"
That might work for writers that plan their story beforehand, or complete their story before they start releasing chapters.
On the other hand, I suspect that most fanfiction writers are not that organized and just write and release chapters, which would make it harder to realize when they are at a good point to split the story.
The Narrator
Disembodied Voice
- Location
- Somewhere Offscreen
Even before the internet, many famous novels were originally published in a serialized form in publications that paid by the word, so their length could get quite inflated.
But also, some writers cranked out novels that were just considered too fucking long and had to be divided into multiple books for practical reasons. The Lord of the Rings wasn't written as a trilogy, it was written as a single book that the publisher decided was way too huge and divided into three volumes. Digital text doesn't have to concern itself with the physical size of the tome, so it has no such limitations. (They also don't generally have to answer to editors, so there's no one with the authority to make the author cut anything out.)
But also, some writers cranked out novels that were just considered too fucking long and had to be divided into multiple books for practical reasons. The Lord of the Rings wasn't written as a trilogy, it was written as a single book that the publisher decided was way too huge and divided into three volumes. Digital text doesn't have to concern itself with the physical size of the tome, so it has no such limitations. (They also don't generally have to answer to editors, so there's no one with the authority to make the author cut anything out.)
deathofrats0808
Don’t think of it as dying; just as leaving early
- Location
- Earth
Allen & Unwin divided it into three volumes because of the high cost of type-setting (lots of unique letters, and maps and such) and a belief it wouldn't sell well.
- Location
- Germany
- Pronouns
- He/Him/They/Them
I feel that I once ran into the worst of both worlds. I followed a story about a franchise I didn't care about, just because of the author. The story grew and grew and suddenly the author decided that 1,000,000 words and 110(ish) chapters was enough for one work, so she directly started book 2. And there was just no narrative sense to end it at that point. I'm pretty sure (It's been some years since I read it) that there had been am organic end point around 10 or so chapter previously, only to go on and then end with no rhyme or reason.
I can't say definitely that this break in the narrative flow caused me to stop reading, but shortly after I stopped reading. Now, since it's been years, if I want to pick it up again I'll have to start from the beginning. And there's this rather massive one million words hurdle at the start (and having checked, the second book also recently finished at around a million words), with only numbered chapter titles. So if I lose the chapter, I've no real chance of finding it again, without flipping and skimming through many, many chapters. And, well, given how often I've tried to re-read and catch up with "The Blacks, the Greens and the Reds" (many times) and how often that has succeded (never), I doubt I'll ever try and re-read that fic.
Karyis
procrastinating as we speak
- Location
- Texas
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Was it Russian Roulette? I admit I fell off about half-way for similar reasons in that it kept going and going and dragging its feet and it felt like there was no progress whatsoever happening.
Still, RIP Vixen_Tail. It's a shame what happened to her.
- Location
- Germany
- Pronouns
- He/Him/They/Them
Wait, what?? I didn't know that. Shit, didn't expect that...
Yeah, it was Russian Roulette. I had no interest in KHR, but since I loved her Naruto stuff, I gave it a chance. And I really enjoyed it, after all, otherwise I wouldn't have read a million words. If I had known she died about three years ago, I probably wouldn't have mentioned it as a "what not to do".
Karyis
procrastinating as we speak
- Location
- Texas
- Pronouns
- He/Him
It's okay. Finding that out was a shock for me too. I enjoyed it a lot as well and I knew absolutely nothing about KHR going in. Vixen just had a way of getting you to really love a world even when you weren't familiar with it at all. I was pretty sad to have dropped it because I loved the worldbuilding she did so much, and the way she portrayed the characters. Like, I got about half-way, but that's still half a million words I read about a fandom I'm not part of through the strength of her writing alone y'know?
Ultra Sonic 007
Trying to keep things simple~
- Location
- Colorado
I had no idea Vixen_Tail had passed away.
(My introduction to her was Deja Vu no Jutsu. I remember enjoying it a lot while it was being written.)
Karyis
procrastinating as we speak
- Location
- Texas
- Pronouns
- He/Him
It says on her ao3 profile that it was a car crash. I checked her bio one day and it was listed there. Really shook me when I read it, it was just so sudden.
The Game Is Not Played Alone + Aeon of Roses + Maggie Fitzgerald and the Saltwater Drip
New
CV12Hornet
Riter.
- Location
- Tacoma, Washington
Like The Squire of Dragonstone, this fic is hyperfocused on its main premise, and the character exploration inherent in it, and while I find that admirable even moreso than Squire of Dragonstone the fic definitely leaves meat on the bone.
That premise is, well, Obi-Wan getting the Winter Soldier treatment and everything that follows. The "everything that follows" part is the really interesting part. The collapse of his programming does not magically revert Obi-Wan to his Attack of the Clones self. He's different. Muted, emotionally. And would be clearly wracked by guilt if he weren't. He makes a conscious effort to stay away from his old life, convinced he's too irredeemable and too dangerous to trust near the people he once cared about. The best thing for him to do is stay away.
Too bad for him Anakin is determined to drag Obi-Wan back into the Jedi, which starts up an extended period of recovery, bonding, and mental healing. It's slow. It's marked by rationalization after rationalization until the Jedi batter down the walls he's built. It's this part that gets you invested - the healing, the bonding, even knowing that something's going to pull the rug out.
On the meat on the bone, there's a tension in the fic when you recognize that the whole plot is highly AU. The events of Attack of the Clones basically fly to pieces after the events on Coruscant - no Jango, no clones, no droid armies, no ill-advised Anakin rescue, no dead Shmi. And as you slot in Dooku's change of heart, Palps being not nearly as on top of things as he normally is, you start waiting for the other shoe to drop. And granted, a half-functional Death Star is a hell of a shoe, but Tarkin just doesn't represent the same threat Palps did. It's not the best payoff, is what I'm saying.
Still enjoyed this, though. You're on the list.
Yeah, that first chapter is baaaaaaaaad. The technical errors are rampant - inconsistent tenses, dropped capitalization, missing punctuation. More to the point, the first chapter is confusing in what it chooses to depict. The woodcutter scene at the very start has no apparent reason to exist, and the ending section doesn't seem to lead anywhere relevant. In between, it's just troubles Ruby is having with her team, and while it's novel to have Blake and Yang mostly off doing their own thing, where most fics stick Team RWBY together like glue from the start, it compounds the confusion of where the fic is going.
You're not on the list.
Why. Why did you do it like this.
Look, this is an objectively good fic. It takes the time and care to set up Gwen as a person with relationships. It sells her slow turn toward superherodom. There's a wonderfully feminist throughline about how Gwen no longer needs to act with the caution most women subconsciously use throughout their lives, because she has superpowers now and literally cannot be overpowered by a normal person.
But man, the decision to do this 70,000+ word fic as a single chapter was just the worst idea. Longform fiction is divided into chapters for a reason - the human brain needs the refresh of turning to a new chapter, or loading one, to prevent reader fatigue. About 40% through, I was getting a little tired of scrolling and wondering when I could click to a new chapter, and so I scrolled up and realized what was going on.
Look, if you can tolerate this, by all means, read it. It's good shit. But maaaaaan, I can't stand this. You're not on the list.