Hello everyone, work has been progressing fairly slowly on this one. Just not had the time to work on it really but it's getting there. So now we jump forward a week and Kaworu has finally started giving piano lessons. The chapter title is not a song name but instead is/was the name of a band which was fronted by the son of legendary singer/drummer Phil Collins, Simon Collins. Their first album Dimensionaut was fantastic and I'd def recommend picking it up, unfortunately whilst the band has done live shows they've also suffered a lot of upheaval with people leaving/returning and leaving again. Now it looks like the band is done and we won't see a second album, such is the music business.
Anyway I digress, here is the first part of chapter 12
23rd September 2021 – Kaworu Nagisa
I leave the practice building completely aware that I am smiling. Today has been an experience that I do not think I will forget about any time soon. The day has brought with it a mixture of feelings and emotions, at the start I was terrified and so very nervous. As the day went on that fear gave way to moments of frustration but also elation and joy.
I cannot think of a name for what I am feeling now, I feel that to give it a name would mar it. Suffice to say I feel like a part of me has been reborn on this very day. I feel like parts of me have been awakened that I never knew existed.
I glance down at my hands as I walk. In all the years I have played the piano I never realized what I really had with these hands. I never fully understood the power that these hands could have. I have the power to inspire someone, I have the power to teach someone, I have the ability to put a smile on someone's face.
Today was my first day of teaching piano to others. I have given four lessons in total today to a variety of people. Two of which were complete beginners, one was a young child and the other was an adult who was double my own age. The other two students were fairly experienced but were looking for help and assistance in moving forward with their own playing.
Today I... I have helped people. I feel such elation in knowing that I, Kaworu Nagisa, can actually make a positive contribution to this world. When I am home I must be sure to contact Fuyutsuki, I must thank him for giving me this chance and tell him how the day has gone. Afterwards I... I shall see Asuka and I will take her out to dinner to celebrate.
I must admit that I was quite unsure as to whether or not I would be able to get through today. Acquiring the relevant qualifications and certifications to do this was fairly simple but actually having to do this was a different matter. I feel like I must have read the documentation and advice a million and one times. Yet I still did not feel that I was prepared.
To tell the truth I felt like an imposter, when I think about what I am and what I was. I am still learning how to be human so how can I teach people something that is the pinnacle of human achievement. I felt that I had no right to do such a thing. I felt that because I am an alien, because I am not human that I was intruding on something that was rightfully theirs.
I told all of this to Asuka last night, in return she called me an idiot and hit me with a pillow. She told me that I was a wonderful piano player and that I'd do fine. She said that I had as much of a right to teach piano as anyone else in this world and to not think of myself as an alien any longer. She then called me an idiot again before throwing a pillow at me and asking if I wanted to share some ice cream with her.
Beyond the concerns about my own identity there was something else bugging me. I did not feel that I would be able to teach my students. Whilst I am confident in my own abilities as a musician I wondered if those abilities would translate well into teaching. I was worried that perhaps I would be unable to keep their attention for an entire lesson, or perhaps I would be uninteresting and they would learn nothing from me.
There was also that familiar fear in the back of my mind that perhaps one of them would recognize me. I know it is unlikely that anyone would recognize me. Asuka has told me that a number of times and I have been out myself often enough to know it is unlikely to happen. Yet the thoughts of what happened to me only a few weeks ago are still fresh in my mind.
It would seem that all of my fears and concerns were in vain though. All four of the lessons seemed to go extremely well. For the two who wanted to advance with their playing I took the time to listen to them play and identify areas that I thought they could improve in. In both cases they had the fundamentals of playing down but felt there was something of a wall in place preventing them from moving forward.
So I listened to them. For one of them I thought that whilst he could identify and play a few pieces his timing was off in a few areas. I asked if he played to a metronome and he told me they didn't, they went off of what sounded right. So I had him play the pieces again but this time to a metronome and also put him through some basic exercises to get him used to playing with that.
For the other person she had her timing down and was used to playing with a metronome but wanted to move onto some more advanced pieces. Her difficulty was that she found herself intimidated by the pieces she wanted to learn and wasn't sure where to really start. She brought in a piece for us to work through, over the next few lessons I'm going to try breaking it down for her, identify techniques used and show her how to put it all together. My hope is that she can apply those methods to learn other pieces she wishes to learn.
The adult twice my age was a complete beginner. He had always wanted to learn to play an instrument but never really made that leap into doing so. He had received a keyboard as a birthday present from his wife and so was looking for lessons on getting started. For him I introduced him to the keys, showed him what each one was and even managed to get him to switch between two chords.
It was the child that concerned me the most though as I went into today's sessions. I had a number of questions going into the lesson. First I wondered if I would be able to handle a six-year old child. I had never even met a child before; my only experiences of young children comes from seeing them in film or television, or seeing them out in the streets and those situations did not always seem to be good.
I admit that I was also worried about the child itself. I questioned whether a child of that age would really want to learn how to play the piano. I questioned whether this was a decision made by them or made by their parents. Perhaps I should not be asking such questions or having such worried but based on my own past experiences I was unable to not have these concerns. It was at age six that my handlers forced the piano onto me.
So yes, I was very worried, it was not my desire or wish to teach this art to a person who does not wish to learn or is being coerced into doing so. Music is a gift to be enjoyed and shared, it is not a competition or something to give a person status. Music is about expression what is within the heart, be it a simplistic melody or a complex symphony. I want to help inspire people, I do not wish for them to suffer.
Fortunately, it seems like all of my worried regarding the child were unfounded. The child himself was a very pleasant young man, he was both attentive and polite. His mother was in the room with us the whole time which made me feel a bit more comfortable.
I actually spoke to her about the child's reasons for playing. It turns out the child's school had someone come in to play and he decided he wanted to do that too. She was reluctant at first saying that it was expensive and the child might not even keep it up but she decided to encourage it.
In the end I am pleased that she has done so. Her son seemed to be very happy with what we were able to accomplish. We went through less than the other beginner, I tried to teach him the location of a few notes and had him play them in order. I gave him a sheet to take home so he can practice this on his own keyboard. Next week I'll continue with that and try to teach him a basic tune and his first two chords.
When teaching him I'll be sure to take it slowly unlike the ones that taught me. Beethoven and Mozart are going to be far away for this young man. We can start simple and build up. I want to make sure his child enjoys playing and has a smile on his face when he leaves here.
Now however it is I who has a smile on my face. I am now returning home, to my home where Asuka, my girlfriend is currently staying. It feels weird to think such a thing, nine months ago I was coming to terms with the fact that I was alive. Barely a month later I had to get used to living on my own, cooking and shopping for myself and learning how to work for a living. Thought of romance were naught but a dream, I never expected such a thing to occur.
Fate it seems had other plans, it led me to bump into Asuka, quite literally bump into her. I can still remember feeling so much fear upon seeing her. I was so certain that she would recognize me and hate me for what I am and what I was. Yet that did not happen, she did not recognize me and even when she knew who I was she did not hate me.
From there a friendship blossomed between us. We laughed together, played games and listened to music. Eventually it developed into what it is now, something more than friendship, is it love? I am sure that what I feel for her qualifies. My heart leaps to think about her, I smile when I'm around her and I always long to be by her side. She is beautiful and she makes me so very happy. I am sure that this thing is love and I am so glad to be in it.
