Braver Than We Are (NGE Fanfic)
- Thread starter jcmoorehead
- Start date
- Location
- National Capital Region, USA
Really no need to be so grimderp, Dealer.
Epilogue 1 - Our New World: Kaworu Nagisa
- Location
- Edinburgh
June 2022 - Kaworu Nagisa
I feel the tiniest rush of excitement as I finish taping up the large box, grab a marker and write albums 1970-1979 on the side of it. I have a smile on my face as I pick up the box, carry it into the living room and set it down amidst the myriad of similar size boxes that have already been taped up. It is strange for me to think that in just over a week from now, all of these boxes will be sitting in our new home in Japan, waiting for us to unpack them.
In fact, just over a week ago none of these boxes were here. All of their contents were scattered across our home as they have been for the last year or so. Our video games, our albums, our consoles and clothing were all in their appropriate places, or at least in some sort of place. We had full bookcases and wardrobes, drawers and shelves. In the corner of the living room was my keyboard, that was one of the first things to be packaged up, it now lies hidden with everything else.
We had photos up on the walls, pictures of me and Asuka, pictures of me and Shinji, of Asuka and Shinji and some of the three of us together. We had photos of friends and of our visit to Japan. We had framed pictures of the cover art for Asuka's novels. Now, all of that has been packed away, the walls and shelves are bare, as bare as they were when I first moved in. As bare as they were up until Asuka moved in and I started to learn how to be a little bit more human.
The personality... our stamp on this place has been removed, it is now ready for someone else to move in and leave their mark on it. I only hope that they're able to make as many happy memories here as the two of us have made.
I'm about to go back into the bedroom and see if I can maybe pack one more box, surely one of the last when the front door suddenly opens. I stop as I hear Asuka and Shinji calling down the hallway that they're back, the two of them enter the room and I greet them both with a kiss. Shinji is carrying two bags of food from a local fast food place, he sets it down on the kitchen counter, one of the few free spots left.
"How did things go?" I ask eagerly as Shinji starts to get the food out fo the bag. I feel my stomach growl in response of the sight of the boxed burgers.
"It went fine!" Asuka answers me as she enters the room, throws some documents down on the ground and snatches up her burger and fries. She shoves a box aside with her foot, sits herself down and flips the lid of the box open before pouring her fries into the lid. She takes a bite of the burger and continues to answer me whilst chewing, "Everything has been sorted, we spoke to the UN representative, they're not going to interfere and put any restrictions on you. Said they'll have some bodyguards nearby but it'll be minimal."
I let out a sigh of relief, "That is good, I must admit I was still a bit worried that perhaps-"
"You had nothing to worry about!" Asuka cuts me off and throws one of her fries at me, it hits me on my shoulder before annoying landing on the floor. I shoot her a glare as she continues, "It was cleared weeks ago! They said there would be no problems, today was just the final confirmation. Besides it's not like they could say no, I mean with Fuyutsuki retiring and going back to Japan you had no job here. Ritsuko has already said the school she works at has a full-time position for a music teacher so it was perfect."
"I understand that." I answer her as I pick up the fry from the floor and put it in the bin, "But given their opposition to me going to Japan last time, I did worry that perhaps they would rescind their prior approval."
Asuka shrugs, "They were being idiots back then though, weren't they? Besides you proved them all wrong! We were there for a few weeks and you didn't do anything bad, no explosions, no creepy levitation, no hijacking giant robots, all fine! Tell him Shinji!"
I turn to Shinji, who has so far stayed out of the conversation and is instead focused on dipping a chicken nugget into a pot of sauce. He looks between the two of us and nods, "A-Asuka is right Kaworu. I don't think you had anything to worry about. I mean they already allowed us to buy the house and sort out your immigration, it would have been weird to turn you down now."
"I suppose... but you cannot blame me for being concerned. I still do... not trust those people."
"Neither do I!" Asuka adds, "But they know better than to mess us about with stuff like this. Look, forget about them for now. Focus on us and what we're doing, focus on getting the rest of this stuff packed up and then tomorrow it'll get shipped away. We go next week and move into our own place... the three of us."
I smile as she says that, "You are right... Thank you."
I take this as an opportunity to grab my food from the bag but also to reflect on how quickly we have gotten to this point. I think it's been a lot faster than any of us anticipated but then again, the last few months have also been harder than we anticipated. Neither me or Asuka were able to find an opportunity to go back to Japan over those months and Shinji was only able to fly out to see us twice before now.
There have been some arguments, there has been some upsets and a need to reassure one another greatly over the last few months but another thing was confirmed, we all do love each other, deeply and passionately. We speak pretty much every day and we're always sending each other photos and updates and there have even been a few... intimate moments shared across the internet with each other.
Next week I begin to write a new chapter in my life with these two amazing people. I feel so lucky and I hope I can give them half as much happiness as what they bring me. Once I feared the future but now not so much, because I get to share it with them and I would have it no other way.
I feel the tiniest rush of excitement as I finish taping up the large box, grab a marker and write albums 1970-1979 on the side of it. I have a smile on my face as I pick up the box, carry it into the living room and set it down amidst the myriad of similar size boxes that have already been taped up. It is strange for me to think that in just over a week from now, all of these boxes will be sitting in our new home in Japan, waiting for us to unpack them.
In fact, just over a week ago none of these boxes were here. All of their contents were scattered across our home as they have been for the last year or so. Our video games, our albums, our consoles and clothing were all in their appropriate places, or at least in some sort of place. We had full bookcases and wardrobes, drawers and shelves. In the corner of the living room was my keyboard, that was one of the first things to be packaged up, it now lies hidden with everything else.
We had photos up on the walls, pictures of me and Asuka, pictures of me and Shinji, of Asuka and Shinji and some of the three of us together. We had photos of friends and of our visit to Japan. We had framed pictures of the cover art for Asuka's novels. Now, all of that has been packed away, the walls and shelves are bare, as bare as they were when I first moved in. As bare as they were up until Asuka moved in and I started to learn how to be a little bit more human.
The personality... our stamp on this place has been removed, it is now ready for someone else to move in and leave their mark on it. I only hope that they're able to make as many happy memories here as the two of us have made.
I'm about to go back into the bedroom and see if I can maybe pack one more box, surely one of the last when the front door suddenly opens. I stop as I hear Asuka and Shinji calling down the hallway that they're back, the two of them enter the room and I greet them both with a kiss. Shinji is carrying two bags of food from a local fast food place, he sets it down on the kitchen counter, one of the few free spots left.
"How did things go?" I ask eagerly as Shinji starts to get the food out fo the bag. I feel my stomach growl in response of the sight of the boxed burgers.
"It went fine!" Asuka answers me as she enters the room, throws some documents down on the ground and snatches up her burger and fries. She shoves a box aside with her foot, sits herself down and flips the lid of the box open before pouring her fries into the lid. She takes a bite of the burger and continues to answer me whilst chewing, "Everything has been sorted, we spoke to the UN representative, they're not going to interfere and put any restrictions on you. Said they'll have some bodyguards nearby but it'll be minimal."
I let out a sigh of relief, "That is good, I must admit I was still a bit worried that perhaps-"
"You had nothing to worry about!" Asuka cuts me off and throws one of her fries at me, it hits me on my shoulder before annoying landing on the floor. I shoot her a glare as she continues, "It was cleared weeks ago! They said there would be no problems, today was just the final confirmation. Besides it's not like they could say no, I mean with Fuyutsuki retiring and going back to Japan you had no job here. Ritsuko has already said the school she works at has a full-time position for a music teacher so it was perfect."
"I understand that." I answer her as I pick up the fry from the floor and put it in the bin, "But given their opposition to me going to Japan last time, I did worry that perhaps they would rescind their prior approval."
Asuka shrugs, "They were being idiots back then though, weren't they? Besides you proved them all wrong! We were there for a few weeks and you didn't do anything bad, no explosions, no creepy levitation, no hijacking giant robots, all fine! Tell him Shinji!"
I turn to Shinji, who has so far stayed out of the conversation and is instead focused on dipping a chicken nugget into a pot of sauce. He looks between the two of us and nods, "A-Asuka is right Kaworu. I don't think you had anything to worry about. I mean they already allowed us to buy the house and sort out your immigration, it would have been weird to turn you down now."
"I suppose... but you cannot blame me for being concerned. I still do... not trust those people."
"Neither do I!" Asuka adds, "But they know better than to mess us about with stuff like this. Look, forget about them for now. Focus on us and what we're doing, focus on getting the rest of this stuff packed up and then tomorrow it'll get shipped away. We go next week and move into our own place... the three of us."
I smile as she says that, "You are right... Thank you."
I take this as an opportunity to grab my food from the bag but also to reflect on how quickly we have gotten to this point. I think it's been a lot faster than any of us anticipated but then again, the last few months have also been harder than we anticipated. Neither me or Asuka were able to find an opportunity to go back to Japan over those months and Shinji was only able to fly out to see us twice before now.
There have been some arguments, there has been some upsets and a need to reassure one another greatly over the last few months but another thing was confirmed, we all do love each other, deeply and passionately. We speak pretty much every day and we're always sending each other photos and updates and there have even been a few... intimate moments shared across the internet with each other.
Next week I begin to write a new chapter in my life with these two amazing people. I feel so lucky and I hope I can give them half as much happiness as what they bring me. Once I feared the future but now not so much, because I get to share it with them and I would have it no other way.
- Location
- National Capital Region, USA
Good thing the three of them decided to get their head straight and take a chance on each other. They all really needed the happiness.
EvaUnit01
Kept you waiting, huh?
Well, it's nice to see that the kids found a way out -- and a better option than being shot down by Mega Man, no less.
Epilogue 2 - Objects In The Rear View Mirror - Asuka Langley Soryu
- Location
- Edinburgh
Epilogue 02
I glance upwards at the apartment block and then back down at the address written on the small strip of paper. Maybe I shouldn't have done but I called in a favour to help me track down this place, unless they got it very wrong then it seems things have gone very well for Nurse Makinami over the last fifteen years. These aren't just high-end apartments, these are the sorts of places reserved for the elite. I'm sure if I hung around long enough, I'd probably run into a movie or pop star of some sort, either that or get escorted off of the premises for being creepy.
Nurse Makinami, she is the reason I am here. It was a dumb suggestion by Kaworu that took root in my mind. This idea that I should maybe make an effort to tie up any loose ends I had here. I had mentioned recently to him that she was the one person who was really kinda to me when Mama was in hospital, and that I would like to say thank you if I could, especially given that she gave me my pen name. He said I should do it, given our connections it wouldn't be hard to locate her even if that would be a bit... unscrupulous.
I walk straight ahead into the lobby of the block. It's a far cry from what I'm used to in these areas, it's well maintained, there are paintings up on the wall and plants scattered around. It looks nice, like a luxury hotel. There is some seating set up, around a table littered with high end fashion or car magazines. A coffee machine stands in the corner and a locked door blocks the way to the elevators and stairs.
To my left is a reception desk, standing behind it is a short and slightly snobbish looking man, his features reminding me very much of the detective Hercule Poirot. I approach and make myself known, "Hello, excuse me."
I get no reply, as he continues to look down at some booklets, I repeat myself only this time speaking a little bit louder. This does get his attention and he gives a little sniff and turns his head to look at me. He looks me up and down and I see his eyes narrow. I already get the impression he doesn't think too much of me, not that his opinion matters.
"Can I help you?" He speaks with a forced posh accent and doesn't even try to mask the disdain in his voice.
"Yes, you can, I'm looking for Miss Mari Makinami." I explain, "I was told that she lives here in number eight."
"I am sorry but I cannot help you, as you can see." He points to a sign on the wall behind him, "We have a strict policy restricting sales people, political campaigning or other unannounced visitors. As you can imagine we host a particular sort of clientele here, most of whom for their own protection do not wish to be disturbed. If you are here to make a mail delivery, please go to the mail building around the corner and they will handle it."
"Ah no, you don't understand..." I try to remain calm whilst speaking to him, "I'm not here to sell anything or deliver anything. I know... well I knew her some time ago. I wanted to speak to her."
"Mm-hmm..." I can tell by the tone of his voice and the look I'm getting that he doesn't believe me, I can also say that it's taking a lot for me to not dive over the table to tear the moustache from his face, "And how exactly do you know Miss Makinami?"
"I..." I don't, but I also didn't expect to deal with the door attendant from hell. I also don't really want to be revealing any details of my past to someone like him, "I was a patient of hers when she was a nurse."
It's a simple lie but he does seem to actually think about it. I decide to add more to my story just to see if I can push this a bit further, "My name is Asuka Langley Soryu, the name will mean something to her."
"I doubt that." He answers, "It means very little to me, and as mentioned we have strict policies in place that I am not willing to bend for the likes of you."
"Now listen here you, I didn't fi-" I'm about to launch full pelt into a rant based on how I fought oversized creatures in an attempt to save this world and therefore people like him to be treated like this when I'm thankfully cut off by the sounds of a woman clearing her throat.
"What is going on here?" I turn my head to see the source of the voice and see a grinning woman in her mid-forties standing in the entrance of the lobby. She's clutching a carrier bag from a local supermarket and from here I can see the bright pink rim of her glasses. She has long brown hair and her eyes seem to be focused on me.
"Ah, Miss Makinami, I was just telling this person of our visitor policies. They claim that they know you, but I am certain that cannot be the case."
My words get stuck in my throat as I take in the sight of the woman before me, this is Nurse Makinami, this is the woman I came to visit. It's not really going as I imagined. She continues to look at me and then I see the flash of recognition in her eyes, the grin fades only to be left with a shocked expression, "A-Asuka... It's... really you?"
I'm half tempted to laugh and gloat at the stunned mock Poirot next to me but all I can do is nod feebly, "Y-Yeah... You, remember who I am?"
"Of course! Of course I remember you!" She answers, "I just... never thought I'd see you again. It's been a long time. Please, come on up."
She moves into the lobby and swipes her card at the door leading to the elevators and again at the elevator. I shoot the receptionist a slight grin before following closely behind Mari, slightly stunned that she does actually remember who I am. Now that I'm here I find myself at a loss of what exactly to do. Like most things I'd just kinda gone in without a plan.
The elevator door closes and the journey to her floor begins. For a time, we're silent and I take the chance to look her over and also peek inside the shopping bag. She is smiling again and I have to admit she isn't quite what I expected. Between the grin, the way she stands, her clothing choices and the bag full of beer and instant miles I'm reminded very much of Misato.
"So, how did you find me?" She finally speaks as the elevator reaches its destination, "Was it Fuyutsuki?"
As we step out, I find myself caught in a stunned silence as she continues to grin, "Bet you're wondering how I know that name, aren't you?"
I nod my head and follow her through the luxurious corridor towards her apartment, "Yeah, I am and no... it wasn't him."
"Oh well, I would have expected..." She laughs as she reaches her door, "I suppose that can wait. I guess I'm probably not what you expected, am I?"
"Well... I guess not." I admit to her, "I mean... I don't want to be rude but... this isn't really a place you can get on a nurse's salary and seeing as you know who Fuyutsuki is... I'm guessing you weren't a normal nurse."
"No, I wasn't." She laughs.
I take a moment to try to let the shock of learning that sink in. For so long I thought her being kind to me was just a random act of kindness from a random nurse and now it seems like she was tied into everything as well. This spur of the moment decision has given me more questions than I had before. I wasn't prepared for this! I was just going to say thank you to her and explain how I stole her name for my pseudonym.
There is a small voice in the back of my head telling me that something could also be very wrong. I look up and down the corridor once again for anything strange. If Mari knows who Fuyutsuki is in relation to me then who exactly is she? Was she a friend or foe? NERV, SEELE or someone else? She didn't come into having this place off the back of a lottery win, so what exactly was she?
I follow her cautiously into the apartment itself, I feel slightly calmer at the sight of it, the main living space is as big as I expected, actually covering two floors a corridor off to the side for what I presume are the bedrooms and bathrooms. The view is spectacular, giving a great view of the city. Inside is slightly less tidy, empty beer cans are left on bits of furniture, I spot empty plates, and some discarded underwear.
"Sorry about the mess." She announces, without any shame as she leads me through the living room into the open kitchen. It's the sort of kitchen Shinji would love to cook in but I imagine, based on the amount of instant food here, that most of it goes unused. I also imagine that the amount of mess and unwashed dishes would give Shinji a heart attack, "I don't normally get visitors."
"It's fine." I say, my eyes are quickly drawn to a calendar on the wall and I feel myself blush as the sight of a woman with large exposed breasts and tight black leggings straddling another topless woman wearing tight red leggings greets me.
"You look like you have some questions, can I offer you some tea?"
I nod and she starts fills up a kettle and puts it on before pulling out two clean mugs from a cupboard. As I watch her, I try to think of something to say, I didn't really know what I was going to say in the first place but now I have more questions.
"I'm sorry for calling in like this. Your... receptionist seemed quite offended by me."
Mari lets out a laugh, "Oh ignore him, he's little more than a snob, all about the status and being seen with the right people. If he knew who you truly were then he'd change his tune. The world owes a lot to you, but I'm sure you've probably heard that before."
I nod and smirk, "Maybe once or twice."
"I wish I could have prevented all of that." She frowns as she sets down one of the cups of tea in front of me. She pulls a carton of milk out of the fridge, I add a touch to my tea and continue to listen as she speaks, "I tried but..."
"Wait..." I interrupt her, "What do you mean you tried?"
"Exactly what I said." She explains, "I guess there was little I could do at the time, after all I wasn't supposed to do anything that'd make me stand out and I suppose helping to orchestrate the disappearance of the prime candidate for the Evangelion project would have hurt that but I did try."
"Why?"
"Because I made a promise to your mother, that I would protect you." Her words hit me with the force of a fly hitting the windshield of a car. I can barely hear her say the next part, "And I am so sorry that I failed in that promise."
"Y-You... knew my mother?"
She nods solemnly, "I knew her... and I knew Yui as well. I met them both just before you were born, the three of us were friends. Look at this."
I watch as she makes her way over to a bookshelf in the front room and takes a photo down from it. She hands me the photo and I take it with trembling hands. It's hard for me to suppress the gasp when I see the three people on it. In the middle is a much younger Mari and to each side is my mother and Shinji's mother.
"This is..." I trail off and look up at Mari. Once again, I'm reminded of Misato in how she has gone from a lighthearted grin to deadly serious.
"That was taken about half a year before Yui disappeared and of course before your mother died." Mari informs me, "It was the last time the three of us were together, that was when I promised your mother I'd look after you."
"Were you part of Gehirn?"
"Not quite." She takes the photo from me and sets it down on the kitchen counter as she continues to explain, "I probably shouldn't show you that or tell you any of this but... you have a right to know. I was part of a special UN division tasked with investigating the truth of Second Impact. We wanted to prevent anything like that happening again and bring the culprits to justice. My orders were to infiltrate, find out what I could and if necessary... remove those responsible."
"Remove y-you mean... kill?" I feel my stomach start to churn as I speak those words. When I came here today I expected to find a nurse in her mid-forties, not some ex-agent of the UN. I feel even worse when she nods.
"If needed then yes, I was to kill." She confirms, "Not that it matters, the division was only a smokescreen. It was set up to give those with any doubts the impression that something was happening. What we didn't realize then was that SEELE practically controlled the UN so it was all set up in their favour."
"Did my mother know what you were?" I ask her, whilst making an effort to maintain my composure. I feel a little bit dizzy with what I'm suddenly learning.
"She and Yui knew." Mari explains, "Neither of them wanted Third Impact to happen and they knew that because of their work it would happen. They figured out what I was and came to be on their own. It was because of them I learned just how much control SEELE truly had. They helped me out, got me into places I wouldn't have been able to, shown me things I was never supposed to see, at great risk to themselves and to you and Shinji."
I feel some pride at hearing that and make a note to tell Shinji later. I always liked to imagine that my mother would have tried to resist SEELE and I know Shinji feels a similar way about his mother. Most of the information relating to the two of them has been erased so we've never known the full truth. I'm kinda proud to know that she did try to resist.
"Unfortunately, something went wrong, I guess they saw how close I was to the two of them and our mission was suddenly halted. Not long after that Yui vanished and... well you know what happened to your mother." She lowers her head, "Before she was forced to do the test, I promised her that I'd do what I could to look after you. I was going to try to get you moved elsewhere."
"What happened?" I try to imagine any sort of life different to the one I had. Who would I have become if I had been taken away from that situation? Would I have finally come to terms with what happened to my mother? Would I have been better adjusted? At the same time, my life... and my past is what made me the person I am now. I am better adjusted now, I have come to terms with what happened to my mother. I'm at that place, but it just took me a bit longer to get here.
"I tried... I had a plan to sneak you out when you were at the hospital and get you to America, some small town where you could blend in and no one would find you but..."
"That would have been impossible, wouldn't it?" I ask, knowing full well her plan wouldn't have worked.
She shakes her head, "Yeah, it would. As soon as your mother had the accident, they doubled the security on you and drew up plans to get you away as soon as possible. They also had me moved away from Germany as quickly as they could."
"And after that?"
"After that... Well, I knew something was rotten with the UN and I made it my goal to try to expose the truth. A couple of us banded together and started pursuing leads and recruiting others. Through... blind luck I guess, we were able to get eyes on NERV and SEELE again and more importantly for me both yourself and Shinji but... we were always too goddamn late."
There is a bitterness to her voice, one that I understand. I've always thought back to those times, if only I'd have been a bit smarter or if I'd have questioned things a bit more but I was so eager to play the good solider in pursuit of validation that I never stopped to actually think. I know that none of that is my fault though, I did what I could with what I had.
"You did what you could." I weakly throw out.
"I know." She nods, "We all did, some of us died for that cause. Your former guardian, Ryoji Kaji was one of my men."
"You knew Kaji?" I ask and again she nods to confirm.
"Yeah, he helped me keep an eye on the two of you. He lost a lot during the Second Impact and I think he was more desperate than any of us were to expose the truth."
"Idiot." I snarl out the word angrily.
Mari laughs, "Yeah, he is. He... certainly is. Losing him was one of my biggest regrets, I know how much he cared for you and Shinji and I... know how much you cared for him."
Mari grins as I feel a blush come to my cheeks, I'm instantly reminded of how ridiculous I used to act around Kaji, a pathetic example of a childhood crush. I expect Mari knows all about that, I just wonder how much Kaji told her.
"I was..."
She laughs, "No need to explain, we've all got our fantasies and crushes, I mean if you knew what went through my mind around Shinji's mother. I mean she was beautiful! I would have loved to pin her down an..."
Mari trails off as she gets a glimpse of my reddening face and what I am sure is a very shocked expression. I'm just glad Shinji isn't here to hear this woman talking about her fantasies about his mother. She shrugs, "Probably a discussion for another... more drunken time."
"Y-Yeah..." I shuffle my feet in discomfort and weakly try to steer the conversation elsewhere, "What do you do now?"
"Nothing." She shakes her head, "I saved up a lot during my time and was given a lot after it for my efforts so I'm mostly retired now. I had considered writing a book but it... seems someone has already written one for me."
She flashes me a knowing grin and I once again feel some discomfort, "Ah... Actually, that was one reason I was here."
"Go on..."
"When... my mother had her accident everyone at that hospital was... well they didn't really seem to care. You were, the only person who really took the time to speak to me or be with me, I always remembered that. So, when I wrote the book I didn't want to use my actual name, you know I didn't want someone to figure out who I was and I didn't want the publicity so I thought I'd... name it after the one adult who was kind to me back then."
"I see..." The smile fades from her face, "I... don't know what to say to that. Thank you."
"I haven't... caused you any trouble have I?" I ask her and she shakes her head.
"No, not at all. If anything I'm quite amused when I'm asked about it. It was a bit of a shock when I first heard of the book, wondered if maybe I got too drunk one night and became a literary genius. Would have been a kick in the face to my old teachers." She is back to grinning again, "I am honored Asuka. You know, your mother would be very proud of what you've become. She always wanted a creative child, if I remember correctly, she was very much into her music."
"Yeah, I got her record collection." I laugh.
"Is that all you have of her?"
"Yeah, my father... took the rest, same with Shinji's father. Neither of us have much of our mothers really."
Mari frowns but then suddenly leaves the room and heads towards a cabinet in the living room. She returns with a photo album and hands it to me, "Here, this isn't... well it isn't much. It's a few photos of my time with them. I can get them copied for you but it'll be for the both of you, to see your mothers as they were."
My hands are trembling as I take the album from her. I open it and start to look through, I try to stem the tears as I see the photos of mine and Shinji's mother. I smile as I turn to one page and see Shinji's mother holding who I presume to be a baby Shinji in her arms, the next page shows Mari and my mother smiling, and the photo after that shows a very nervous looking Mari holding a baby with bright red hair in her arms.
"You threw up on me shortly after that one was taken." Mari groans, "I was never any good around children."
I laugh as I continue to leaf through the booklet, more photos pass me by until I get to one page and stop. This photo is of Mari but it isn't like the others. This doesn't include me or Shinji, nor does it include our mothers. Instead Mari is a couple of years old and with her is a kid, maybe about seven or eight. They seem to be in a very posh and old looking room.
The photo itself would probably be unremarkable if it weren't for the look of the child. Pale white skin, bright red eyes and silver hair, this is her and Kaworu. She knew Kaworu as well!
"Kaworu Nagisa..." She mutters, "That was the closest I ever got to SEELE and their committee, helping to educate him. He was a sweet child, very bright and inquisitive. I always felt so sorry for him, he never had any friends or stimulation beyond what they set out for him."
"He did." I exclaim, "He... Kaworu, I... I know him, he is... my boyfriend. Can I... have a copy of this photo as well?"
I look up and see Mari nod, "Of course! It seems there is a lot I don't know. I was so sure that he... well I knew what he was. I knew what SEELE had planned for him."
I laugh, "Yeah... You have no idea. I don't really know where to begin."
"Well, I'm sure it can wait for another time." I pass her the book back, "I'm just glad he seems to have found a life for himself."
----
I'm leaving Mari's home some half an hour or so after finding out that she knew Kaworu as well. We've exchanged phone numbers and e-mail addresses. I haven't filled her in on the full details of mine, Kaworu and Shinji's relationship but I will do so when I can.
Truth be told I'm more than a little bit stunned by everything I have learned. I don't really know how to process it all, should I be happy about it all? Should I be upset or angry about any of this? I guess I can work all of that out at a later point, after I've spoken to Shinji and Kaworu. I'm sure they will be just as surprised as I am, especially Kaworu.
One thing I do feel with this is a sense of closure, like a huge chapter in my life is finally ending and I can move on with the next. I think this is the same for all of us, we're starting to accept who we were and what we are now and moving forward, and the best thing is, we get to do it all together.
End.
I glance upwards at the apartment block and then back down at the address written on the small strip of paper. Maybe I shouldn't have done but I called in a favour to help me track down this place, unless they got it very wrong then it seems things have gone very well for Nurse Makinami over the last fifteen years. These aren't just high-end apartments, these are the sorts of places reserved for the elite. I'm sure if I hung around long enough, I'd probably run into a movie or pop star of some sort, either that or get escorted off of the premises for being creepy.
Nurse Makinami, she is the reason I am here. It was a dumb suggestion by Kaworu that took root in my mind. This idea that I should maybe make an effort to tie up any loose ends I had here. I had mentioned recently to him that she was the one person who was really kinda to me when Mama was in hospital, and that I would like to say thank you if I could, especially given that she gave me my pen name. He said I should do it, given our connections it wouldn't be hard to locate her even if that would be a bit... unscrupulous.
I walk straight ahead into the lobby of the block. It's a far cry from what I'm used to in these areas, it's well maintained, there are paintings up on the wall and plants scattered around. It looks nice, like a luxury hotel. There is some seating set up, around a table littered with high end fashion or car magazines. A coffee machine stands in the corner and a locked door blocks the way to the elevators and stairs.
To my left is a reception desk, standing behind it is a short and slightly snobbish looking man, his features reminding me very much of the detective Hercule Poirot. I approach and make myself known, "Hello, excuse me."
I get no reply, as he continues to look down at some booklets, I repeat myself only this time speaking a little bit louder. This does get his attention and he gives a little sniff and turns his head to look at me. He looks me up and down and I see his eyes narrow. I already get the impression he doesn't think too much of me, not that his opinion matters.
"Can I help you?" He speaks with a forced posh accent and doesn't even try to mask the disdain in his voice.
"Yes, you can, I'm looking for Miss Mari Makinami." I explain, "I was told that she lives here in number eight."
"I am sorry but I cannot help you, as you can see." He points to a sign on the wall behind him, "We have a strict policy restricting sales people, political campaigning or other unannounced visitors. As you can imagine we host a particular sort of clientele here, most of whom for their own protection do not wish to be disturbed. If you are here to make a mail delivery, please go to the mail building around the corner and they will handle it."
"Ah no, you don't understand..." I try to remain calm whilst speaking to him, "I'm not here to sell anything or deliver anything. I know... well I knew her some time ago. I wanted to speak to her."
"Mm-hmm..." I can tell by the tone of his voice and the look I'm getting that he doesn't believe me, I can also say that it's taking a lot for me to not dive over the table to tear the moustache from his face, "And how exactly do you know Miss Makinami?"
"I..." I don't, but I also didn't expect to deal with the door attendant from hell. I also don't really want to be revealing any details of my past to someone like him, "I was a patient of hers when she was a nurse."
It's a simple lie but he does seem to actually think about it. I decide to add more to my story just to see if I can push this a bit further, "My name is Asuka Langley Soryu, the name will mean something to her."
"I doubt that." He answers, "It means very little to me, and as mentioned we have strict policies in place that I am not willing to bend for the likes of you."
"Now listen here you, I didn't fi-" I'm about to launch full pelt into a rant based on how I fought oversized creatures in an attempt to save this world and therefore people like him to be treated like this when I'm thankfully cut off by the sounds of a woman clearing her throat.
"What is going on here?" I turn my head to see the source of the voice and see a grinning woman in her mid-forties standing in the entrance of the lobby. She's clutching a carrier bag from a local supermarket and from here I can see the bright pink rim of her glasses. She has long brown hair and her eyes seem to be focused on me.
"Ah, Miss Makinami, I was just telling this person of our visitor policies. They claim that they know you, but I am certain that cannot be the case."
My words get stuck in my throat as I take in the sight of the woman before me, this is Nurse Makinami, this is the woman I came to visit. It's not really going as I imagined. She continues to look at me and then I see the flash of recognition in her eyes, the grin fades only to be left with a shocked expression, "A-Asuka... It's... really you?"
I'm half tempted to laugh and gloat at the stunned mock Poirot next to me but all I can do is nod feebly, "Y-Yeah... You, remember who I am?"
"Of course! Of course I remember you!" She answers, "I just... never thought I'd see you again. It's been a long time. Please, come on up."
She moves into the lobby and swipes her card at the door leading to the elevators and again at the elevator. I shoot the receptionist a slight grin before following closely behind Mari, slightly stunned that she does actually remember who I am. Now that I'm here I find myself at a loss of what exactly to do. Like most things I'd just kinda gone in without a plan.
The elevator door closes and the journey to her floor begins. For a time, we're silent and I take the chance to look her over and also peek inside the shopping bag. She is smiling again and I have to admit she isn't quite what I expected. Between the grin, the way she stands, her clothing choices and the bag full of beer and instant miles I'm reminded very much of Misato.
"So, how did you find me?" She finally speaks as the elevator reaches its destination, "Was it Fuyutsuki?"
As we step out, I find myself caught in a stunned silence as she continues to grin, "Bet you're wondering how I know that name, aren't you?"
I nod my head and follow her through the luxurious corridor towards her apartment, "Yeah, I am and no... it wasn't him."
"Oh well, I would have expected..." She laughs as she reaches her door, "I suppose that can wait. I guess I'm probably not what you expected, am I?"
"Well... I guess not." I admit to her, "I mean... I don't want to be rude but... this isn't really a place you can get on a nurse's salary and seeing as you know who Fuyutsuki is... I'm guessing you weren't a normal nurse."
"No, I wasn't." She laughs.
I take a moment to try to let the shock of learning that sink in. For so long I thought her being kind to me was just a random act of kindness from a random nurse and now it seems like she was tied into everything as well. This spur of the moment decision has given me more questions than I had before. I wasn't prepared for this! I was just going to say thank you to her and explain how I stole her name for my pseudonym.
There is a small voice in the back of my head telling me that something could also be very wrong. I look up and down the corridor once again for anything strange. If Mari knows who Fuyutsuki is in relation to me then who exactly is she? Was she a friend or foe? NERV, SEELE or someone else? She didn't come into having this place off the back of a lottery win, so what exactly was she?
I follow her cautiously into the apartment itself, I feel slightly calmer at the sight of it, the main living space is as big as I expected, actually covering two floors a corridor off to the side for what I presume are the bedrooms and bathrooms. The view is spectacular, giving a great view of the city. Inside is slightly less tidy, empty beer cans are left on bits of furniture, I spot empty plates, and some discarded underwear.
"Sorry about the mess." She announces, without any shame as she leads me through the living room into the open kitchen. It's the sort of kitchen Shinji would love to cook in but I imagine, based on the amount of instant food here, that most of it goes unused. I also imagine that the amount of mess and unwashed dishes would give Shinji a heart attack, "I don't normally get visitors."
"It's fine." I say, my eyes are quickly drawn to a calendar on the wall and I feel myself blush as the sight of a woman with large exposed breasts and tight black leggings straddling another topless woman wearing tight red leggings greets me.
"You look like you have some questions, can I offer you some tea?"
I nod and she starts fills up a kettle and puts it on before pulling out two clean mugs from a cupboard. As I watch her, I try to think of something to say, I didn't really know what I was going to say in the first place but now I have more questions.
"I'm sorry for calling in like this. Your... receptionist seemed quite offended by me."
Mari lets out a laugh, "Oh ignore him, he's little more than a snob, all about the status and being seen with the right people. If he knew who you truly were then he'd change his tune. The world owes a lot to you, but I'm sure you've probably heard that before."
I nod and smirk, "Maybe once or twice."
"I wish I could have prevented all of that." She frowns as she sets down one of the cups of tea in front of me. She pulls a carton of milk out of the fridge, I add a touch to my tea and continue to listen as she speaks, "I tried but..."
"Wait..." I interrupt her, "What do you mean you tried?"
"Exactly what I said." She explains, "I guess there was little I could do at the time, after all I wasn't supposed to do anything that'd make me stand out and I suppose helping to orchestrate the disappearance of the prime candidate for the Evangelion project would have hurt that but I did try."
"Why?"
"Because I made a promise to your mother, that I would protect you." Her words hit me with the force of a fly hitting the windshield of a car. I can barely hear her say the next part, "And I am so sorry that I failed in that promise."
"Y-You... knew my mother?"
She nods solemnly, "I knew her... and I knew Yui as well. I met them both just before you were born, the three of us were friends. Look at this."
I watch as she makes her way over to a bookshelf in the front room and takes a photo down from it. She hands me the photo and I take it with trembling hands. It's hard for me to suppress the gasp when I see the three people on it. In the middle is a much younger Mari and to each side is my mother and Shinji's mother.
"This is..." I trail off and look up at Mari. Once again, I'm reminded of Misato in how she has gone from a lighthearted grin to deadly serious.
"That was taken about half a year before Yui disappeared and of course before your mother died." Mari informs me, "It was the last time the three of us were together, that was when I promised your mother I'd look after you."
"Were you part of Gehirn?"
"Not quite." She takes the photo from me and sets it down on the kitchen counter as she continues to explain, "I probably shouldn't show you that or tell you any of this but... you have a right to know. I was part of a special UN division tasked with investigating the truth of Second Impact. We wanted to prevent anything like that happening again and bring the culprits to justice. My orders were to infiltrate, find out what I could and if necessary... remove those responsible."
"Remove y-you mean... kill?" I feel my stomach start to churn as I speak those words. When I came here today I expected to find a nurse in her mid-forties, not some ex-agent of the UN. I feel even worse when she nods.
"If needed then yes, I was to kill." She confirms, "Not that it matters, the division was only a smokescreen. It was set up to give those with any doubts the impression that something was happening. What we didn't realize then was that SEELE practically controlled the UN so it was all set up in their favour."
"Did my mother know what you were?" I ask her, whilst making an effort to maintain my composure. I feel a little bit dizzy with what I'm suddenly learning.
"She and Yui knew." Mari explains, "Neither of them wanted Third Impact to happen and they knew that because of their work it would happen. They figured out what I was and came to be on their own. It was because of them I learned just how much control SEELE truly had. They helped me out, got me into places I wouldn't have been able to, shown me things I was never supposed to see, at great risk to themselves and to you and Shinji."
I feel some pride at hearing that and make a note to tell Shinji later. I always liked to imagine that my mother would have tried to resist SEELE and I know Shinji feels a similar way about his mother. Most of the information relating to the two of them has been erased so we've never known the full truth. I'm kinda proud to know that she did try to resist.
"Unfortunately, something went wrong, I guess they saw how close I was to the two of them and our mission was suddenly halted. Not long after that Yui vanished and... well you know what happened to your mother." She lowers her head, "Before she was forced to do the test, I promised her that I'd do what I could to look after you. I was going to try to get you moved elsewhere."
"What happened?" I try to imagine any sort of life different to the one I had. Who would I have become if I had been taken away from that situation? Would I have finally come to terms with what happened to my mother? Would I have been better adjusted? At the same time, my life... and my past is what made me the person I am now. I am better adjusted now, I have come to terms with what happened to my mother. I'm at that place, but it just took me a bit longer to get here.
"I tried... I had a plan to sneak you out when you were at the hospital and get you to America, some small town where you could blend in and no one would find you but..."
"That would have been impossible, wouldn't it?" I ask, knowing full well her plan wouldn't have worked.
She shakes her head, "Yeah, it would. As soon as your mother had the accident, they doubled the security on you and drew up plans to get you away as soon as possible. They also had me moved away from Germany as quickly as they could."
"And after that?"
"After that... Well, I knew something was rotten with the UN and I made it my goal to try to expose the truth. A couple of us banded together and started pursuing leads and recruiting others. Through... blind luck I guess, we were able to get eyes on NERV and SEELE again and more importantly for me both yourself and Shinji but... we were always too goddamn late."
There is a bitterness to her voice, one that I understand. I've always thought back to those times, if only I'd have been a bit smarter or if I'd have questioned things a bit more but I was so eager to play the good solider in pursuit of validation that I never stopped to actually think. I know that none of that is my fault though, I did what I could with what I had.
"You did what you could." I weakly throw out.
"I know." She nods, "We all did, some of us died for that cause. Your former guardian, Ryoji Kaji was one of my men."
"You knew Kaji?" I ask and again she nods to confirm.
"Yeah, he helped me keep an eye on the two of you. He lost a lot during the Second Impact and I think he was more desperate than any of us were to expose the truth."
"Idiot." I snarl out the word angrily.
Mari laughs, "Yeah, he is. He... certainly is. Losing him was one of my biggest regrets, I know how much he cared for you and Shinji and I... know how much you cared for him."
Mari grins as I feel a blush come to my cheeks, I'm instantly reminded of how ridiculous I used to act around Kaji, a pathetic example of a childhood crush. I expect Mari knows all about that, I just wonder how much Kaji told her.
"I was..."
She laughs, "No need to explain, we've all got our fantasies and crushes, I mean if you knew what went through my mind around Shinji's mother. I mean she was beautiful! I would have loved to pin her down an..."
Mari trails off as she gets a glimpse of my reddening face and what I am sure is a very shocked expression. I'm just glad Shinji isn't here to hear this woman talking about her fantasies about his mother. She shrugs, "Probably a discussion for another... more drunken time."
"Y-Yeah..." I shuffle my feet in discomfort and weakly try to steer the conversation elsewhere, "What do you do now?"
"Nothing." She shakes her head, "I saved up a lot during my time and was given a lot after it for my efforts so I'm mostly retired now. I had considered writing a book but it... seems someone has already written one for me."
She flashes me a knowing grin and I once again feel some discomfort, "Ah... Actually, that was one reason I was here."
"Go on..."
"When... my mother had her accident everyone at that hospital was... well they didn't really seem to care. You were, the only person who really took the time to speak to me or be with me, I always remembered that. So, when I wrote the book I didn't want to use my actual name, you know I didn't want someone to figure out who I was and I didn't want the publicity so I thought I'd... name it after the one adult who was kind to me back then."
"I see..." The smile fades from her face, "I... don't know what to say to that. Thank you."
"I haven't... caused you any trouble have I?" I ask her and she shakes her head.
"No, not at all. If anything I'm quite amused when I'm asked about it. It was a bit of a shock when I first heard of the book, wondered if maybe I got too drunk one night and became a literary genius. Would have been a kick in the face to my old teachers." She is back to grinning again, "I am honored Asuka. You know, your mother would be very proud of what you've become. She always wanted a creative child, if I remember correctly, she was very much into her music."
"Yeah, I got her record collection." I laugh.
"Is that all you have of her?"
"Yeah, my father... took the rest, same with Shinji's father. Neither of us have much of our mothers really."
Mari frowns but then suddenly leaves the room and heads towards a cabinet in the living room. She returns with a photo album and hands it to me, "Here, this isn't... well it isn't much. It's a few photos of my time with them. I can get them copied for you but it'll be for the both of you, to see your mothers as they were."
My hands are trembling as I take the album from her. I open it and start to look through, I try to stem the tears as I see the photos of mine and Shinji's mother. I smile as I turn to one page and see Shinji's mother holding who I presume to be a baby Shinji in her arms, the next page shows Mari and my mother smiling, and the photo after that shows a very nervous looking Mari holding a baby with bright red hair in her arms.
"You threw up on me shortly after that one was taken." Mari groans, "I was never any good around children."
I laugh as I continue to leaf through the booklet, more photos pass me by until I get to one page and stop. This photo is of Mari but it isn't like the others. This doesn't include me or Shinji, nor does it include our mothers. Instead Mari is a couple of years old and with her is a kid, maybe about seven or eight. They seem to be in a very posh and old looking room.
The photo itself would probably be unremarkable if it weren't for the look of the child. Pale white skin, bright red eyes and silver hair, this is her and Kaworu. She knew Kaworu as well!
"Kaworu Nagisa..." She mutters, "That was the closest I ever got to SEELE and their committee, helping to educate him. He was a sweet child, very bright and inquisitive. I always felt so sorry for him, he never had any friends or stimulation beyond what they set out for him."
"He did." I exclaim, "He... Kaworu, I... I know him, he is... my boyfriend. Can I... have a copy of this photo as well?"
I look up and see Mari nod, "Of course! It seems there is a lot I don't know. I was so sure that he... well I knew what he was. I knew what SEELE had planned for him."
I laugh, "Yeah... You have no idea. I don't really know where to begin."
"Well, I'm sure it can wait for another time." I pass her the book back, "I'm just glad he seems to have found a life for himself."
----
I'm leaving Mari's home some half an hour or so after finding out that she knew Kaworu as well. We've exchanged phone numbers and e-mail addresses. I haven't filled her in on the full details of mine, Kaworu and Shinji's relationship but I will do so when I can.
Truth be told I'm more than a little bit stunned by everything I have learned. I don't really know how to process it all, should I be happy about it all? Should I be upset or angry about any of this? I guess I can work all of that out at a later point, after I've spoken to Shinji and Kaworu. I'm sure they will be just as surprised as I am, especially Kaworu.
One thing I do feel with this is a sense of closure, like a huge chapter in my life is finally ending and I can move on with the next. I think this is the same for all of us, we're starting to accept who we were and what we are now and moving forward, and the best thing is, we get to do it all together.
End.
- Location
- Edinburgh
And there you have it everyone, the story is complete. 
Just wanted to say a massive thankful to everyone in this thread for following the story and providing comments and such whilst I've been writing it. For anyone who hasn't left comments, now is your chance, please do let me know what you think, what your fav moments were, etc, etc.
I don't really want to ramble too much, but I really loved writing this story. From the opening few lines through to the final few it was (mostly) a joy to write. It took longer than I expected and I went in directions I didn't expect to but I loved it, and I really hope people here liked it as well.
---
I will, hopefully, be continuing to do more Eva writing in the future. I've got a special chapter for this coming out (But it will be AO3 only and of a 'certain' nature, so I likely won't be posting about it in this thread. Aside from that I do have other projects planned but I'll probably be taking a bit of a break first
As said, please do feel free to post and let me know what you think. I know there have been people leaving comments every now and then but also a lot of people who have been in the thread but not said anything. I'd def love to know what you thought!
Once again, thank you.
Just wanted to say a massive thankful to everyone in this thread for following the story and providing comments and such whilst I've been writing it. For anyone who hasn't left comments, now is your chance, please do let me know what you think, what your fav moments were, etc, etc.
I don't really want to ramble too much, but I really loved writing this story. From the opening few lines through to the final few it was (mostly) a joy to write. It took longer than I expected and I went in directions I didn't expect to but I loved it, and I really hope people here liked it as well.
---
I will, hopefully, be continuing to do more Eva writing in the future. I've got a special chapter for this coming out (But it will be AO3 only and of a 'certain' nature, so I likely won't be posting about it in this thread. Aside from that I do have other projects planned but I'll probably be taking a bit of a break first
As said, please do feel free to post and let me know what you think. I know there have been people leaving comments every now and then but also a lot of people who have been in the thread but not said anything. I'd def love to know what you thought!
Once again, thank you.
JennyDracos
Eccentric Hugging Lady
- Location
- Chicago
I'm going to miss this fic. Except when I reread it, but the rest of the time I'm going to miss it.
- Location
- Canada
This is such a cute and funny Kaworu thing to say. This was a wonderful fic JC. Very sweet.
- Location
- National Capital Region, USA
Asuka probably didn't want to hear that part.
My, this whole encounter was very unexpected for Alaska. I hope it gives her some closure on her mom. And the pictures give her a treasure Trove that she could never have gotten anywhere else. And as a bonus finding out that she and the others have a bond that goes back further than she thought can only make her happy.
JennyDracos
Eccentric Hugging Lady
- Location
- Chicago
Also a bonus "yeah, Mari Makinami does exist in this universe," just like with the manga.
- Location
- Edinburgh
I'm so glad you enjoyed it! Definitely hope it holds up to a future re-read as well. I have always wondered if people do re-read my stories
Thank you so much! Really happy you liked it
Haha, I did think the line was appropriate. Originally I was nearly in danger of going a step too far and saying something like "At least this time I still have an intact head" but felt that might have been a bit much
Haha no, definitely not.
Originally I wasn't going to have Mari exist properly in the universe but it was a friend who suggested I add in Asuka going to see the real Mari Makinami. From there the idea kinda grew into this concept that Mari existed and provided a sort of way to tie the three of them together from their past onwards.
---
I am so happy people did enjoy the story. As I said I do have an AO3 only chapter that I will write soonish and after that I have a few plans for future stuff but I am planning on taking a couple of weeks break from writing, just to recharge my batteries
- Location
- Surrey
This was a fine story, but it relied far too much on just being cute instead of good. The strongest parts were at the beginning and focused on the alienation and bitterness of our characters over their mistakes and how they'd all still managed to carve out lives for themselves. These were interesting pieces that were both believable as a strictly textual continuation of Evangelion and worked well with the themes of the original. Unfortunately, once Kaworu and Asuka got together, the interesting writing just kind of vanished as the characters just sort of orbited into a soap opera starring Kaworu as The Goodest Boyfriend and his groupies.
Kaowru's whole deal in general is kind of a microcosm for the flaws of this fic. Kaworu himself from start to finish is a straight up Jesus clone with no depth or interesting arc to him whose every thought and action the narrative goes out of its way to justify. The sheer certainty that none of his decisions could or would ever go importantly wrong sucked the life out of every scene he was in, and since he is one of the main romantic leads, that didn't do much for the fic. He also, not for lack of trying on your part, honestly lacked chemistry with both Shinji and Asuka and just came off as 'Another Shinji, but with all the bad traits taken out and replaced with a series of gags about pants'.
Kaowru's whole deal in general is kind of a microcosm for the flaws of this fic. Kaworu himself from start to finish is a straight up Jesus clone with no depth or interesting arc to him whose every thought and action the narrative goes out of its way to justify. The sheer certainty that none of his decisions could or would ever go importantly wrong sucked the life out of every scene he was in, and since he is one of the main romantic leads, that didn't do much for the fic. He also, not for lack of trying on your part, honestly lacked chemistry with both Shinji and Asuka and just came off as 'Another Shinji, but with all the bad traits taken out and replaced with a series of gags about pants'.
- Location
- Edinburgh
I'm really sorry you feel that way about the story. I did try to make Kaworu and Shinji interesting characters in the story, I did try to make the romance seem good and the chemistry seem good but perhaps it was just a case where I had the idea and the ambition but just not the ability to do so. Like I said, I am proud of writing this, I thought I had pushed myself but I guess I just didn't have the actual ability to convey what I wanted.
- Location
- Surrey
The issue with this fic is that almost everything besides Kaworu was good to great. Shinji's whole struggle with playing at the concert was legitimately well done, Asuka's fear of intimacy and attempts to keep an eye on Shinji through Rei (and the conflict this caused in Rei) despite that were gripping, and even Rei's relationship with Kodama was well handled even though it was mostly a background element.
But Kaworu himself is just boring. He goes through no actual growth beyond retreading Shinji's arc with much less to build on, his default persona was stuck on 'Saint' no matter what, even when he might possibly have done something wrong it either turns out well anyway or it is someone else's fault (The insistence on Tabris's unwitting cruelty being the result of SEELE brainwashing was the point where I realized you'd fallen into the same 'Albino Space Jesus' trap so many other writers do when trying to write Kaworu), anyone who dislikes him is either converted to his side or are cartoon supervillains, and his romance with Asuka can literally be find/replaced with Shinji and make just as much sense. His chemistry with Shinji felt less like an actual romance and more like some cosmic reward for being so pure and noble.
I think the main issue with your Kaworu is twofold: The first being that you were unwilling to have him make mistakes or do selfish things, leaving him no room to grow or change beyond, again, just copying Shinji. This lack of identity also meant that there was no tension in any of the relationship scenes, and also relied on his significant others to do alll the heavy character lifting. The second is that, in order for the relationship to even happen, you axed Kaworu's detachment from humanity present in the original anime, and replaced it with bog-standard sudden empathy. This greatly damaged Kaworu's already shaky character, and contributed greatly to him feeling like a Shinji clone with nothing new to the table.
Last edited: