A fresh update :D

Poor Shinji. I imagine a certain Teutonic ginger is going to have deep problems with his 'obey, for the Gods, OBEY' modus operandi.

Not much happened, but it's good to take another feel to the setting - especially considering Misato really is characterized to a T. Apart from that, I just hope the tank crew won't come to an unfortunate end and...authoritarian Hikari Horaki. Intrigued...
 
Chapter 3.2
Behold, as in this segment I shall put the high school setting to use.
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9:00am, residential district 9

She never spends this long in the shower. Jeez, what a way to have the mood killed.
Seiichi grumbled.

He only had today until he went back on duty, therefore he wished to have as much time as humanly possibly with the woman he loved. And now, any hope of a peaceful day had been wrecked by this fuck nut.

Eiji contentedly sat at the small table, sipping his glass of water and seemingly oblivious to the issues he caused. Of course, he was probably aware and enjoying every damned of it. The tablet had done its work within minutes, so the Akuma driver was now capable of not collapsing on the floor and whimpering whenever a noise was made. Unfortunately that meant he could go back to being his usual crude self.

Seiichi had got himself dressed, having tiredly ironed out the creases in the uniform that had been torn off the previous evening. His black hair was still a ruffled mess, due to the hands which had been through it last night...

"You know...this is a nice place." Eiji peered around, not being used to a residence as comfortable as this. When not on duty, he did have an army apartment back in Kure into which he was stuffed. It was incredibly cramped and basic compared to this place.

But that was to be expected, this was the capital after all.

Seiichi grunted in acknowledgement, looking into the hallway again, still waiting for Mikasa.

Unfortunately, Eiji caught onto this and grinned.

"Can't take your eyes off her can you?" He chuckled before continuing. "She is rather ravishing. You lucky bastard, staring at those legs must never get tiring..." Slumped back into his chair, his expression became one of total bliss as Seiichi started making his usual, albeit more quiet, threats.

Every night they're together, they make love. They're happy. I wish I could be like that...

Bringing his attention back to the present, Eiji noticed Seiichi had stopped swearing and now looked totally bashful.

The reason for this, was Mikasa had walked back into the room dressed in a white shirt and skirt. Upon noticing her boyfriend in freshly ironed uniform, she'd commented on how handsome he looked, causing the shy soldier to blush furiously. Much to both of the lovers annoyance, Eiji was immensely humoured by this.

"Private lover boy, that is your name now!" He laughed, before falling silent quickly as Mikasa shot him a look that would send his Sergeant running for cover.

"Hell hath no fury eh?" Seiichi smirked at his humbled colleague.

"Shut up..."

"Well, as our morning has been disturbed-" She shot Eiji another look, causing the cantankerous git to sink further into his seat. "I quite like the idea of eating out today. I'm sure we can get breakfast somewhere. Besides, it's not like I get you out of bed enough..." She planted a tender kiss on Seiichi's lips, completely ignoring Eiji looking at them both in a gone out manner.

"I'm still here you know. If you're getting it on I can fuck off..." His words were ignored.

How the hell did Seiichi pull a hottie like that? Lucky bastard, no matter how hard I try, of course the driver never gets the fucking girl!

The two were still kissing.

Fuck's sake...kids these days...
-------------------------
9:15am, Sengokuhara high school.

"Now then." Mr Sisata turned around to face his class. "Which one of you fine young ladies and gentlemen can tell me who founded the Empire?" His beady little eyes, swimming with intelligence scanned the room. "Aida-san, can you answer me that question?"

"Um...uh...Emperor Sebastian Vance?" "Aida" stammered, having been daydreaming.

"Not quite right, Aida-san. But if my students knew everything then I'd be out of a job." Sisata chuckled before he began writing on the classroom digital screen. "If you're going to refer to a British Emperor, then you will do so with His Imperial Britannic Majesty, and nothing else. If you get that wrong in front of an Imperial, they might just pull your head off. Also, whilst Sebastian Vance did indeed found the Great British Empire, he was not Emperor at the time, and he did not do it alone. Horaki-san, could you elaborate on that for me?"

Standing up from her seat, Hikari cleared her throat, then began.

"The Great British Empire was founded on the 29th of May 2002. It's founding charter had the names of three men written on it. Sebastian Vance, Terrence Cromford, and Alexander Meadow. Vance was the Empire's first Grand High Marshal, with the other two being High Marshals. Cromford was Marshal of the infrastructure, and Meadow was Marshal of the Imperial Armed Forces. The very first Monarch of the Empire, was Her Imperial Britannic Majesty Elizabeth Windsor." She bowed her head, before sitting back down.

"Wonderful. See class, this is the result of a student who studies." His remark caused a few mumbles of "yes, sensei," and Hikari to shift uncomfortably.

For despite ruling with an iron fist, the class rep was a humble girl.

"Sebastian Vance became the Empire's second Monarch and first Emperor on the 19th of July 2005, a few days after a nuclear strike carried out by the North American Federation obliterated the then capital London, along with the entire House of Windsor." He kept scratching words of value on the screen, whilst some students, Shinji among them, felt pangs of sympathy for one of the most expansionist nations in recent history.

The children of Japan knew what it was to lose a capital to foreign attack.

"His reign was an incredibly short one, as he was...well murdered...by Federal special forces a week after his makeshift coronation. Ayanami-san, can you tell me why the Federation was so obsessed with the Empire's destruction?" The old man turned his head towards the albino girl sitting at her desk. "Because of your injuries, I'll forgive you for not standing."

Rei blankly nodded in response before beginning. And the moment she spoke, Shinji had to fight his sigh of nostalgia.

Oh Spirits, how I love to hear your voice.

"The North American Federation sees itself as the only nation with the right to rule the Earth. It already considered the fledgling Union of Western Communist Republics a great threat to that ideology. They did not wish for another superpower to arise in the Western hemisphere, especially an expansionist one, lest it threaten Federal dominance."

Mr Sisata nodded approvingly.

"Very well put, Ayanami-san. Yes indeed, the Federation has always seen itself as the world's only rightful superpower, something inherited from the now defunct United States of America. Although unfortunately it seems Federal foreign policy is less policing the world, and more along the lines of ruling the world." He let that sink into his pupils before continuing. "Well, who can tell me the original name of the city that became the Empire's capital after London was destroyed." He quickly raised a hand as Hikari raised her own.

"You've already had a go, Horaki-san. Anyone else?" He peered around for a few moments, eventually becoming tempted to answer the himself.

But then the usually meek and quiet boy at the front of his class, gingerly raised his hand.

"Ah, Ikari-san. Enlighten us."

"Um...it was Bristol wasn't it? They wanted a new trade hub for all the stuff coming in from their overseas territories." A little part of the boy grimaced at his saying of stuff, but his teacher nodded.

Shinji knew this from his time living in Kure. It was after all, the great port city of Japan. Therefore trade ships from across the planet would dock there, including Imperial vessels which had sailed from the port of Bristol.

"Very good, Ikari-san. The city that would become Leopard, the Imperial capital of Britain, was indeed called Bristol in times gone past. Now, who can tell me what Emperor Charles Vance's words were upon ascending the Imperial throne, and what his age was? Suzuhara-san, do answer." He directed at the large boy at the back.

The boy who always sat next to "Aida", who looked like he was the missing link between man and ape, sputtered in surprise before attempting to answer. It was strange to note on that day, the usually animated chattering between the two was silent. Instead, the big one was quiet. At times he'd looked like exploding, and at others he looked like he was on the verge of crying, with the Aida, or "the class geek," having to comfort him.

Not only did this break many of the social norms he'd observed at this place, but it seemed out of character. Clearly something unpleasant had happened.

But he wasn't fussed. He didn't know the boy and probably never would. For Shinji merely observed his fellow man, not usually interacting with them. Mostly because he didn't feel capable of it. Partially because he didn't feel he deserved it.

"I...uh...um...Hail Britain? Wasn't he like...eighteen or something?" Suzuhara managed an even more desperate smile than the one his friend pulled earlier.

The class laughed a little, Mr Sisata chuckling with them. He knew it was a hard question, but it was important to boost his students knowledge whenever he could. And he alternated on whoever would be his hapless victim whenever he felt like giving a difficult question.

In short he struck ruthlessly and at random.

"Not quite, but a good attempt, Suzuhara-san. I recommend that you do some more research on the subject. In the meantime, you can find his full speech on the internet and I expect you to write it in your books."

The class let loose a groan of horror.

"In answer to my earlier question, Charles was only just your age when he ascended the throne. Fifteen years old..." Sisata's voice became twinged with a hint of sadness.

"I suppose that just shows age is no restriction on ability."
-----------------------------------
11:15am

"Break!" Sisata clapped his hands together, resulting in the scraping of seats and the putting down of pens.

"Horaki-san, I'm going for my coffee break..." He began walking out of the room before giving the taller fifteen year old girl a smile.

"Do keep the troops in line would you?"

"Hai, sensei."

Shinji slipped his ear phones back into his ears, the tune of moonlight sonata soothing him. Another thing he liked about his tutor, was whilst the man worked them hard, he did give them plenty of breaks and never overloaded them with homework.

Speaking of the class, he mulled over the people he'd observed in this room for the past week or so. They had been welcoming enough, although he was still usually referred to as either the new kid or Ikari-san by them. The only time the class rep had ever referred to him directly was that incident when he'd had his earphones in for too long.

Indeed, Hikari Horaki was called the pig tailed dictator with very good reason. She commanded authority without trying, and exerted it a great deal. But, according to the older hands in this class, she was certainly not unfair.

Shinji had personally yet to see proof, but he took them at their word.

The two to his right and rear, the geek and the jock, had apparently been friends for most of their lives. As in since they were toddlers. It came as no surprise to him, socially stunted as he was, they were called the odd couple. And they really were odd, with Kensuke Aida being a meek and wimpy geek with sandy hair, freckled face, and glasses, who was obsessed with the military sci-fi genre, and Toji Suzuhara being a muscled and foul tempered jock with black hair.

It seemed that might just have been a front, as Toji had never lost his temper with Kensuke, well, not yet as seen by Shinji. And according to, once again, the older hands, he'd never laid a finger on him.

Taking his thoughts away from them, the brown haired boy started mulling over Rei again.

He really needed to come up with some way of breaking the ice between them if he even wished to befriend, let alone help her.

I don't usually do this much thinking. Damn, how badly did the fight with that...Seraph...thing shake me up?

A sudden beeping on his monitor caught his attention. All desks in the class had inbuilt touchscreen computers, with which students could browse the internet for research or send messages between one another. In this case, it would seem he had a message in his inbox.

Putting his finger on the mail box symbol, he opened whatever he'd been sent.

It wasn't much, only a few words. But they did make an eyebrow rise.

People are saying you're an Evangelion pilot. Is that true?

Yes/No?


He was stumped for a while, his mind trying to recall any point where he was told his role as an Eva pilot was classified.

But he could find nothing, even in that synch test and simulation he did the other day, where he was walked through everything he needed to know about the huge purple monster which had been dropped into his lap.

Thinking he would have been told by now all the things he couldn't talk about, and having honesty beaten into him from an early age, Shinji exhaled, typed yes into the chat box and hit the send button. When the class collectively gasped, the boy realised the conversation he'd had was on the class chat, not a private network.

Oh shit.

Whilst most of the class surged over to the unfortunate Shinji, Kensuke and Toji sat where they were and watched.

The geek was running through the many millions of questions he'd have for the new guy, but the one part of him that wasn't giddy with excitement chastised him.

Seriously, buddy, whatever he knows is probably classified. We aren't getting much out of him anytime soon. After all, he is the pilot of a war machine the world only found out about a few weeks ago.

Annoyed by the fact common sense had ruined his fun, Kensuke looked at his friend, and suddenly felt uneasy. For the larger boy who worked out with weights, had fixed his gaze on the newcomer with narrowed eyes and twitching nose.

"I'll kill him."
------------------------------
12:00pm, NERV quarters.

Misato had never been a person to leap out of bed. In fact, if she could have her way, the woman would try to remain in the land of slumber for all eternity.

Alas, Pen-pen had a thing or two to say about that...

So she sat at the kitchen table in whatever clothes she'd kept on before throwing herself under the sheets last night, unkempt purple hair spilling down over her shoulders. Great dark circles were clear for all to see under her eyes, whilst she rubbed her now red and bruised nose occasionally, having been savaged by the Penguin.

On the other side of the table, stood Pen-pen, his beady eyes watching her every move whilst she mournfully shovelled breakfast cereal into her mouth. On the mornings she didn't get up on time, the bird would always do this. Get her up and get her ready to face the day. Whilst many would be scratching their heads at this display of mastery over a person by a flightless bird, one must understand these things happen when said bird is experimented on and has its intelligence boosted immensely.

Finishing her bowl, Misato leaned back into her seat and sighed. She then grimaced upon hearing a quiet yet threatening wark.

"Oh come on Pen...just five more minutes..." She moaned as the warking got louder.

"You're a damned dictator, you know that?" Removing herself from the surprisingly comfortable wooden chair, Misato began trudging over to the bathroom to have a shower.

She couldn't help but smile though when Pen-pen made a few warks of satisfaction, before he padded back off into his fridge.

Having washed away her drowsiness with a warm shower, Misato began clothing herself. Today was an average day at NERV, therefore she would put her uniform on. As her role was rather unique, Misato's uniform had been designed to her specification. There was of course the classic white trousers with red stripes going up the side, with black knee high boots. But from the waste up, that's were the similarities ended.

Firstly, she had a crystal white shirt, upon which she would put a button upped red military shirt with a black neck tie. Of course the jacket had NERV's classic black cuffs, and insignia on the shoulder. Upon sliding her red beret on top of her head, Misato looked into her bedroom mirror, making sure everything was in place. Including the holster for her Hitokuchi.

Unlike the party dress she'd worn when first picking up Shinji, this was a soldier's uniform, and she slid into it perfectly.

She had decided not to wear her cross that day, as to be frank it wasn't something she did all the time. It was a reminder, not a garment after all.

But still, as always with her morning routine, Misato picked up a very old picture with the date on it being 1995. There she was, a little girl with black hair being held by her loving mother, with a distant father standing next to them.

A cross around his neck.

...would you be proud of me now?

Gently setting it back down on her dresser, the only part of her room she kept tidy, Misato walked back out into her lounge and slumped down on the sofa.

Turning her television on, she flicked through all the various crap that was on it these days.

Fortunately there was one of the Studio Ghibli films on as they were advocated by the Defence Board, cultural importance and all that, so she watched that for a while, with Pen-pen eventually coming back out of his fridge and snuggling up to her. Unfortunately, their peace was interrupted by her mobile ringing. Harrumphing, the purplehead had to push Pen-pen off her lap so as to reach the phone in her pocket. He warked in a disgruntled manner, with his pet giving a swift look of apology.

With the phone flashing up with Rits-chan, Misato pressed the answer button and held it to her ear.

"Please tell me I'm not being called in, I've still got another four hours." She groaned, hearing her friend chuckle on the other end.

"Hey, don't I get an opportunity to chat with my old college room mate?" Ritsuko used her shoulder to keep the phone to her ear as she stood on the observation deck, her hands occupied with sheets of data from the synch test they'd done a few days ago.

"Out with it, Rits-chan, what do you want?"

"How's Ikari-san doing? Apparently he started school last week?"

"He did. I...I think he's enjoying it, and his grades are good, but no friends yet. Or at least I think."

"That doesn't come as much of a surprise. I read his file last night, he hasn't even been near a school in twelve years. Apparently, the kid was educated at home. By a friend of the family by the sounds of it..."

The file had been correct, but also very vague. Why he was kept out of education and interaction with fellow human beings for so very long, was a mystery to Ritsuko.

"He...he never said anything about that. Jeez, how weird must all this be to him?" Misato said in disbelief.

"Incredibly. I wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't even start talking to other students for weeks. Well...maybe Ayanami-san but that's sort of different."

Before she could even respond, the Sub Commander sighed.

"Oh well, at least he's doing alright. On a lighter note, want to go out for drinks on Saturday? It's a day off for both of us, and we don't do it enough." Ritsuko had switched to her earnest mode, one that was difficult to pick up even if you knew her.

"Sounds good. Usual place, 12ish?"

A few years ago, this wouldn't have been possible. Back then, Ritsuko was getting fucked every other night by Commander Ikari, a relationship which she was totally ashamed of these days. Despite a great deal of psychological damage being caused, enough to prevent her from ever forming a relationship again, Misato could tell her friend was happier these days, after leaving that creep some two years ago.

"That's fine-" Ritsuko's voice was cut off by the blaring of alarms in NERV central. An alarm she knew practically off by heart.

"Shit. It's a code blue!" The line went dead.

By that point, NERV's combat operations director was already running to her door, slipping phone in pocket and fumbling for key card, with only one word going through her mind.

Seraphim!
-----------------------------
11:55am, Sengokuhara high school.

Despite the heat, Shinji liked this.

Standing out in the fresh air with no one to bother him, he closed his eyes and inhaled the humid air of which he wasn't very fond but all too used to. With the sun beating down on everything save the shade he was standing in, he'd stayed put for the past ten minutes. It would only be twenty more before he'd have to go back to lessons.

He'd noticed however, that whilst he'd walked out of the class room, no one else did. Instead they sat there and talked to one another. Now there was a concept far more alien to him than the Seraphim could ever be.

However, so focused on this simple interaction between human beings he was utterly incapable of, he'd failed to notice the odd couple get up and slowly follow him out...

"Hey, new kid!" A gruff voice called out, causing him to turn and face its point of origin.

He wished he hadn't.

For at that moment, Toji Suzuhara was stomping towards him with nothing but murder in his eyes. The geek wasn't standing too far behind him, with a look of concerned nervousness on his face.

"H-hello. Can I help you?" Shinji felt every single one of his cowardly instincts yell at him to flee, but the jock's fist closing on his shirt put an end to that.

"Yeah, you can help me..." Toji snarled as he slammed his fist into the boy's gut. Gasping in pain, the Eva pilot felt himself being dropped on the floor, his head banging against the concrete putting stars in his eyes.

"Stand up, baka!" The jock yelled, snatching a tuft of Shinji's brown hair, hauling him to his disorientated feet. Another fist slammed into his mouth, leaving him with the taste of blood on his tongue. This wasn't as bad however, as he was used to this pain.

Collapsing on the ground again, sprawled on his back, he felt Toji's shoe stamp on his chest, causing him to cry out pain from the pressure of it.

"You feel that!? Now you know what it's like to get crushed you stupid bastard! This is how my sister felt when you collapsed her shelter!" The jock was practically screaming now, with Kensuke moving over to diffuse the situation, deeming it to have gone too far.

Spirits, Toji, you only said you were going to rough him up, not fucking kill him!

But Shinji didn't notice any of that, as a few words he'd heard a few weeks ago rang in his ears like an artillery bombardment.

Damn right. Three hundred people were in that bunker, and they only pulled out one who was still breathing. A little girl if the news is right...

"Your...sister?"

"Yes my sister!" Toji threw off Kensuke's attempts to restrain him and planted a kick into Shinji's already abused gut. "Sakura Suzuhara, my little sister! You nearly killed her and you'll be damned lucky if I don't do the same to you!"

"I'm sorry...I'm so so sorry..."

I hurt a little girl!

"Sorry doesn't cut it you snivelling little shit!" Toji roared as Kensuke frantically restrained him.

"For, Spirits' sake, Toji stop! Calm down...that's it...just calm down." Somehow, miraculously, the jock went limp in his weedy arms, sobbing uncontrollably. "Come on, let's go. You okay down there, new kid?" Kensuke offered, with Shinji putting out a pained groan of "I'm fine."

"Sorry about all that. Toji here is usually soft as a teddy bear...but his sister means a lot to him. So...no hard feelings right?"The bespectacled boy said earnestly

Slowly rising to his feet, hand clutching his stomach, Shinji shook his head.

"No. I deserved it."

Had he not been wallowing in his own self loathing, he might have noticed a quick look of shock on the distressed Toji's face.

He's not even excusing himself...

"Okay...see you around, Ikari-san. Come on, Toji, let's get something to eat." Kensuke looked at him, confused, before hauling his much larger friend off to elsewhere.

Noticing some blood dribble down his chin, Shinji wiped it away before turning back to face the sun. Only to be confronted with the red gaze of Rei Ayanami.

Leaping out of his skin, he fought to compose himself as the blue head stared at him.

"Ikari-san, you are bleeding." She stated.

"What? Oh! Oh it's nothing, really!" He frantically wiped away any and all evidence of the assault. Meanwhile she kept watching him. "Um...so...can I help you with anything...Ayanami-san?"

"There has been an emergency. We must report to NERV." She said before taking off, leaving the meek young man looking stumped.

"Emergency?" He said aloud, only to feel his heart plummet as sirens screamed across the city.

"Attention citizens, attention citizens! A state of emergency has been declared in the Kanto and Chubu regions surrounding the Tokai district. All residents must evacuate to their designated shelters immediately. Garrison troops will assist with evacuations. All those who refuse will be forcibly moved to a safe location. This command will loop every fifteen minutes."

"Oh...please no."
 
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Rei blankly nodded in response before beginning.

And the moment she spoke, Shinji had to fight his sigh of nostalgia.

Oh Gods how I love to hear your voice.
Just talk to her, you damned idiot.

"Sorry about all that. Toji hear is usually soft as a teddy bear...but his sister means a lot to him. So...no hard feelings right?" Now the geek looked just as uncomfortable as Shinji did, with the latter having got himself to his feet.

"No. I deserved it." Had Shinji not been wallowing in his own self loathing, he might have noticed a quick look of shock on the distressed Toji's face.
How can this cruel world break poor Shinji even further, you ask? Stay tuned!

Good use of the school setting to provide some exposition on the British Empire.
 
Just talk to her, you damned idiot.


How can this cruel world break poor Shinji even further, you ask? Stay tuned!

Good use of the school setting to provide some exposition on the British Empire.

I'll be providing some more nuggets of information on all the super powers and the general history of the world with the high school setting. It honestly astounds me that "schools" are hardly ever used for "learning" in literature or screen these days...
 
I'll be providing some more nuggets of information on all the super powers and the general history of the world with the high school setting. It honestly astounds me that "schools" are hardly ever used for "learning" in literature or screen these days...

It's considered bad form to use them as exposition vehicles these days, I suppose, but you're doing a fine job. Mr. Sisata's class is engaging and it's heartwarming to see Shinji enjoying interaction instead of just being there and acting like a vegetable.

Despite not being too much into the Seraphim, I'm curious to see how he's gonna deal with Shamshel and if the canon events will repeat or will just echo harmlessly...
 
Regards. Just taking a look at this.

One thing I notice is that you have a quirk in punctuating dialogue. Sometimes, you have lines of the form...
"Stuff." He muttered, and he walked away.

Some guides would suggest that lines of that form should be single sentences, reading...
"Stuff," he muttered, and he walked away.

You rarely use words like muttered (I don't think I even saw "said" anywhere, which would be the big culprit if you had), so often times what you have is correct, but there are a few cases where you do something like this and I think it's arguable whether it's right, or more loosely, whether it even looks right.


You've added a lot of worldbuilding to the Eva setting. I think that's fine. I am concerned with how you've paced it, however. It feels as though you went into so much detail of the first Seraph battle, including so much repetition of canonical plot points, to highlight the differences. I've seen that level of repetition before, though, and I think it bears considering whether you can be more creative to try to eliminate or cut down on the amount of repetition. I find it a little tedious to wade through: if new stuff, or stuff you invented, is the "signal," then all those repeated canon beats are "noise," and I feel that your signal-to-noise ratio here is a little off. Fortunately, that's a problem that shouldn't be as much of an issue going forward.

In addition, the glimpse of Seraph society is pretty cool. I think it comes at the right time; we'd been getting glimpses of the first Seraph's thoughts for some time, so it was about right to expound on that and give context for them.

You don't follow a similar pattern with other elements of the worldbuilding, though--giving a preview glimpse of the new German empire, for instance, robs the story of a little mystery surrounding them and the Asuka counterpart in this story. I think that was a missed opportunity, in that respect.

Basically, I'm concerned that the pacing of all this worldbuilding exposition is off. Neither the Germans nor the North American Feds have any immediate bearing on Shinji, Rei, or the tank crew at this point. Sneaking in some info on the new British Empire while Shinji was obsessing over Rei was clever, but possibly too clever: in context, it's a flashing neon sign that people should be paying attention and filing that stuff away for later. That may be too convenient.

But the tank crew/JSA stuff matter right now, Nerv (Shinji, Rei, etc.) matter right now, and all that is solid. Compare, say, how much has been said explicitly about Caspar to some other elements of the story: I think what you've done there is pretty good, as it leaves me wanting more and interested enough to find out.

Best of luck.

Edit: oh, and references to miles in Japanese dialogue. Is that what you want to be doing?
 
Regards. Just taking a look at this.

One thing I notice is that you have a quirk in punctuating dialogue. Sometimes, you have lines of the form...
"Stuff." He muttered, and he walked away.

Some guides would suggest that lines of that form should be single sentences, reading...
"Stuff," he muttered, and he walked away.

You rarely use words like muttered (I don't think I even saw "said" anywhere, which would be the big culprit if you had), so often times what you have is correct, but there are a few cases where you do something like this and I think it's arguable whether it's right, or more loosely, whether it even looks right.


You've added a lot of worldbuilding to the Eva setting. I think that's fine. I am concerned with how you've paced it, however. It feels as though you went into so much detail of the first Seraph battle, including so much repetition of canonical plot points, to highlight the differences. I've seen that level of repetition before, though, and I think it bears considering whether you can be more creative to try to eliminate or cut down on the amount of repetition. I find it a little tedious to wade through: if new stuff, or stuff you invented, is the "signal," then all those repeated canon beats are "noise," and I feel that your signal-to-noise ratio here is a little off. Fortunately, that's a problem that shouldn't be as much of an issue going forward.

In addition, the glimpse of Seraph society is pretty cool. I think it comes at the right time; we'd been getting glimpses of the first Seraph's thoughts for some time, so it was about right to expound on that and give context for them.

You don't follow a similar pattern with other elements of the worldbuilding, though--giving a preview glimpse of the new German empire, for instance, robs the story of a little mystery surrounding them and the Asuka counterpart in this story. I think that was a missed opportunity, in that respect.

Basically, I'm concerned that the pacing of all this worldbuilding exposition is off. Neither the Germans nor the North American Feds have any immediate bearing on Shinji, Rei, or the tank crew at this point. Sneaking in some info on the new British Empire while Shinji was obsessing over Rei was clever, but possibly too clever: in context, it's a flashing neon sign that people should be paying attention and filing that stuff away for later. That may be too convenient.

But the tank crew/JSA stuff matter right now, Nerv (Shinji, Rei, etc.) matter right now, and all that is solid. Compare, say, how much has been said explicitly about Caspar to some other elements of the story: I think what you've done there is pretty good, as it leaves me wanting more and interested enough to find out.

Best of luck.

Edit: oh, and references to miles in Japanese dialogue. Is that what you want to be doing?

Ah, I always like a bit of critique.

I have always, and probably forever will be, shit at describing dialogue without making it tedious. In fact, I've just never been able to make my stories sound nice....I really noticed that in my Creative Writing lessons. My fellow students could make their stuff sound bright and beautiful, whereas I...well you've already pointed that out.

But hell, everyone always has something to improve upon.

Yeah, looking back on it the fight could have been much better, but I'm not that imaginative :(

Alas, nothing to be done about it now, must keep moving forward and hopefully make the next fight scene better! Although...would any of you look down on me if I tried to fix it?

To have mystery about a country that is well known on the international stage however...I must disagree with. Germany, Britain, America, Russia, China, and Japan are surrounded by concrete fact as they have been influencing the course of history and will eventually effect the plot.

And well...with the lore and all that...that was just the tip of the ice burg.

I put a lot of thought into ok

But anyways, thank you very much for your time. I shall try to keep your advice in mind.
 
I think it's always good to consider fixing things you feel could be improved and that you have a concrete plan for improving them, but with a work in progress, I think it best to keep moving forward and then fix things when you're done. The last thing you want to do is get bogged down in fixes that you might not need because of something you do later.

With respect to pacing the exposition regarding the international situation, I'm still not quite convinced. The exact nature of the Seraphs and their society will undoubtedly have a big impact on the story, yet you did not feel the need to shed light on their inner workings until after the first Seraph was dead. And I think that was a good time to do it, as you'd given enough room for people to think, pay attention, and speculate about what they were like. I think a similar approach in the future might serve you well.

Good luck to you.
 
I think it's always good to consider fixing things you feel could be improved and that you have a concrete plan for improving them, but with a work in progress, I think it best to keep moving forward and then fix things when you're done. The last thing you want to do is get bogged down in fixes that you might not need because of something you do later.

With respect to pacing the exposition regarding the international situation, I'm still not quite convinced. The exact nature of the Seraphs and their society will undoubtedly have a big impact on the story, yet you did not feel the need to shed light on their inner workings until after the first Seraph was dead. And I think that was a good time to do it, as you'd given enough room for people to think, pay attention, and speculate about what they were like. I think a similar approach in the future might serve you well.

Good luck to you.

Putting it like that, those are wise words indeed. I'll try to keep them in mind.

Oh I'll be needing all the luck I can get with this story...
 
Chapter 3.3
Right, I've spent a good deal of today rewriting a good chunk of the fight scene. Even if you think it's shit (which it probably is) then you can scarcely imagine what it was like originally (shudders)

Anyway, onward!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
12:15 pm, NERV Central command bridge


"Evacuations complete. All air traffic has been diverted to Osaka. All JSA units are on standby, and three Susanoo class FCVs, the Tsushima, Musashi, and Kaga, are maintaining low altitude above the city. Evangelion Unit 01 is prepared for launch, pilot is entering now." Maya informed her superior officer with unease.

No one had predicted the appearance of another Seraph, not this quickly. She and the other observation deckers had made bets on when the next one would turn up, with even Lieutenant Aoba, the most cynical of them, not thinking any would come for another month at least. Still, he was the closest to correct, therefore he won. He would likely be shuffling his ten thousand yen tonight with devious glee.

If he was still alive.

If anyone was alive.

"What is the Seraph's current position?" Misato said sternly.

"Enemy is currently at the outskirts of the city. JSA forces are ready to provide assistance, establishing visual contact now." Lieutenant Makoto Hyuga relayed in his shrill tone, text reflecting off his glasses.

The display screen flickered into life showing Shamshel, the 5th Seraph, hovering over the outskirts, eventually coming to a stop near the financial district.

"It's looking for us..." Ritsuko, who was standing to Misato's right, tried to hide her apprehension.

"Then it fights us on our terms." The purplehead growled.

Today was awful.

Right when she'd comforted herself with the thought of the next Seraph not coming for another few years, this bastard had arrived scarcely ten days after its predecessor. And to top it all off, Commander Ikari and Vice Commander Fuyutsuki had disappeared off to Spirits know where, leaving just her and Ritsuko to handle one of the greatest threats humanity would ever face.

It was a shame Rei was still far too injured to realistically pilot Unit 00, but that was the way things were. It may have been a clone, but Rei was still a being of flesh and blood, and could be broken just as easily as anyone else.

"Pilot is in, initiating link!" Maya called out, as on her screen Shinji closed his eyes and tried to expand his mind, just like how he'd been taught a week or so before.

We've hardly had time to train him...

Maya did honestly feel miserable over sending this poor boy out to fight to begin with. Granted it was apparently necessary, but that didn't stop her waking up in the middle of the night covered in sweat soaked sheets, trying to shut out the hypothetical death screams of a child.

"Synch complete, holding at sixty percent. Evangelion Unit 01 is ready for launch."

Lieutenant Colonel Katsuragi nodded her head.

Sorry Shinji-kun, we'll just have to train you more for the next one.

"Launch!"
---------------------------
12:20 pm, Tokyo-3, financial district

Where are you, Vooren? Do you honestly think that cowering in the dirt will save you? No...I will flay your wretched form alive for all your people to see!


Shamshel surveyed the city below him, frustration growing in his blood thirsty heart.

He'd come here spoiling for a fight, one in which he would lay the whelp who by some miracle took his elder brother's life, low. A few memories of playing in the Palace gardens when they were young caused rage to join the frustration.

Show yourself! A flair of orange energy rushed forward to an unluckily block of nearby houses, flattening them immediately.

With his anger growing every single second, the Seraph began to set his gaze upon the various forces of the JSA arrayed around the city. At the moment, they were looking like very tempting play things...

But then, he sensed a presence coming towards him from beneath the ground. A presence that radiated power on par with his own.

Finally.

If he could have, the Divine Heir would have smiled. And it would have grown broader the moment Evangelion Unit 01 arose from the ground in all its purple and white glory.

Impressive...but that horn is somewhat ridiculous. Oh well, it matters not. Your corpse will be a fine gift to throw at my Father's feet, ridiculous or otherwise.
---------------------------
Breath...breath...you can do this. Shinji gently inhaled and exhaled with his eyes closed, before opening them. He felt like shifting uncomfortably in this new thing he was forced to wear called a plug suit.

Granted the colours of white and purple went together well to his eyes, but the skin tight and rubbery suit was rather itchy. However, showing an unusual amount of self control, he fought back the urge to scratch.

"Shinji-kun, we've provided you with a pallet rifle. Expand your A-T field then fill him up with lead." Misato added in a semi-serious manner, her expression on the video link being similar.

Expand A-T field and kill it.

"Ryokai!" Shinji responded before gripping the eighty feet long rapid fire WMD as tightly as he could.

He did hear the command, but it seemed his body hadn't. For the moment he set his eyes upon Shamshel, sheer terror gripped his heart.

Something felt different about this one. Shinji felt this thing had no concept of honour or decency, and its only wish was to kill him as messily and brutally as possible. And its gaze...its silent, unnerving, unmoving, and uncaring gaze, sent shivers down the young man's weak spine.

Instinctively, he levelled the pallet rifle at his foe and squeezed the trigger.

"Shinji-kun what are you doing!? Your rounds won't have any effect..." Misato's words came too late, for he'd used up all his ammunition, his fingers frantically squeezing the trigger to no effect, producing an unending clicking noise in the entry plug.

He could no longer see the Seraph, with it being shrouded in smoke. But not for long.

Well wasn't that anti climactic.

Gale force winds shredded the visual obstruction, as Shamshel expanded his A-T field. His power knocking down a few buildings as if they were but houses of cards, the Seraph would have narrowed his eyes if he was capable, upon gazing at the fool who dared challenge him.

By command of the Lord of Ash, and Sovereign of the Divine, I have come to claim your miserable life and subjugate your world. Whether you resist or not is irrelevant to the matter. Make peace with whatever Gods you worship, for even they shall not save you from my wrath. For I am Shamshel, second Heir of my father's realm, destroyer of the last free cities, ender of Fleilan civilisation, and the last thing your pathetic eyes shall ever witness!

He reared himself up to full height, tendrils of energy flicking through the air as orange lightening crackled around his form. His great shadow covered Unit 01, and what seemed like the world, in darkness.

Now...have at you, Voor scum!

Shinji stared at the thing which towered over him, sweat trickling down his forehead and cheeks. Although the liquid going down his cheeks, was far too cold to be sweat...

You idiot, you coward! Of course you could never do this, a pathetic little shit like you doing something useful is impossible!

"Shinji-kun we've put up another rifle for you. Take it now!"


Somehow managing to overcome his terror, and forcing the Eva to move towards the indicator on his hud, he started breathing again.

Get the next one, try again, this isn't over yet...

The Eva was fast, its powerful muscles being something he could feel. And considering how small he usually felt, he rather enjoyed the sensation of such strength and power. Strength and power the likes of which could level the Himalayas.

The rifle came into sight after only five seconds of running, which caused Shinji to breath a sigh of relief.

And then a beam of A-T field energy whistled past his ear and struck the rifle, igniting its ammunition and ripping the area it was located in apart.

Ranged weaponry? Those are the weapons of cowards, little Voor, I expected more from Sachiel's murderer. Nevertheless, the playing field is level now, and I have given you ample time to make the first move. So...shall we begin?

Shinji barely had time to turn around before the tendril whipped into his face. Feeling a searing sensation on his cheek as yet another burn mark was made on Unit 01's faceplate, he screamed as it felt like his skin was boiling.

And the sheer force of it knocked the Eva clean off its feet.

"Shinji-kun withdraw! The JSA will cover you!" Misato frantically barked, as yet another combat situation with the Seraphim went wrong.

Unlike his situation with the first Seraph, Shinji managed to make the Eva move by will alone. Scrambling backwards, it seemed like the monster was leering at him as it followed, swishing its tendrils of energy through the air, not even trying to hit him as if it were flexing its muscles. Eventually gaining enough traction to stand up, whilst the JSA's bombardment from both ground and air impacted harmlessly on Shamshel's A-T field, he urged Unit 01 into a run, only to feel his ankle bubble and boil as the Seraph wrapped a tendril around it, burning into his calf.

Voor...your lack of honour is astonishing. The Divine would have laughed, as through his grip on the Eva's ankle, he lifted it off the floor, letting it dangle for a few moments, before slamming it back into the ground.

He repeated this act of sadism again and again whilst the JSA pounded him with all their might.

To no avail.
----------------------------
Meanwhile, within this distracting force, the Akuma kept belching smoke and fire at a phenomenal rate like the rest of the Tokyo-3 garrison, the men of this army being aware of what was at stake.

And the crew of the Akuma, knowing well just how successful they'd be.

"Why do we even fucking bother!" Eiji yelled with despair upon seeing round after round harmlessly impact Shamshel's A-T field. Only explosions and flashes of orange lightning where indication they'd hit it.

"Because orders are orders! We've been told to advance and that's it." Kiyoshi grimaced.

"And that did us a whole lot of fucking good last time didn't it!?"

Seiichi blocked them both out, thinking only of how good his day had been before the alarms echoed across the city. He'd just been sitting in a nice cafe with his girlfriend, enjoying what precious little time he had with her. And then this fucking thing decided to show up.

The Yoroi type 2 battle tank, along with another hundred of its brethren, rumbled forward into their capital city, their powerful rail guns blasting away at Shamshel, in a desperate attempt to acquire its attention. However, it seemed the Divine Heir did not feel like obliging them.

Thousands of men could only watch in horror, as the Seraph, having appeared to exhausted all enjoyment from breaking Shinji's nose, lifted mankind's mightiest weapon into the air and tossed it into the nearby hills like a ragdoll.

"Heavens..."
-----------------------------
12:19 pm, just outside shelter 59...

Toji knew this was a horrible idea.

From the moment Kensuke had asked to speak with him about something, the jock had foreseen the suggestion of a terrible plan that could get them killed. And still he'd gone along with it, like an idiot.

So they'd slipped out of their bunker, right under the soon to be furious class rep's freckled nose. Now having witnessed the ongoing battle with his own eyes, he'd quickly felt his courage collapse.

The Seraph had tossed the purple titan which had risen so majestically from the ground like a rag doll, whilst utterly ignoring the combined fire of the Tokyo-3 defences. But of course Kensuke, being the military nut that he was, had been enjoying every second of it, gawking through his camera at the chaos unfolding before him.

Why the bespectacled wimp would ever want to be a soldier, Toji didn't know. And probably never would, for even his joyous expression had faded away the moment they beheld Unit 01 being flung towards them.

His mouth fell open, whilst Toji made a sort of strangled scream, half shriek of terror, half cursing his best friend's curiosity. But to be fair, had Pilot Shinji Ikari fallen in battle that day, no shelter would save them from the Seraph's triumph.

The Eva slammed into the hill, making the very earth beneath the boys shake as if struck by a meteor, its gargantuan arm only just missing them.

With the dust having settled, Kensuke started making noises of awe as he tried to get as much footage of the giant robot as possible, whilst Toji let loose a few shaken laughs of joy, as he punched his fists in the air whilst declaring he was alive.

That stopped when the shadow of an impossibly ancient Prince, soaked in the blood of thousands, blotted out the sun over them all.

You are nothing before me, Voor!

And with that, Shamshel set upon Unit 01 with what can only be described as venomous brutality.

Oh Spirits...oh Spirits... Shinji's subconscious muttered as every single single one of his instincts begged for him to bolt. His face felt even worse than it had earlier, when that "Toji" boy had beaten him to a pulp. In his panicked state, he blocked out Misato's orders as he could not take his gaze off the advancing Seraph.

However, unlike his previous fight, he would not wait for death to come and claim him.

As the tendrils rushed forward to slice him into sizzling pieces, he seized both of them with his hands, purple armour melting as he howled in pain but resolutely refused to let go, with the sheer strength of the Seraph making his arms burn with exertion.

You will be deafened by your own screams. I shall see to that...

Shamshel attempted to move his tendrils outwards, hoping to pull his opponent's arms off. But to his surprise, he found the Eva to be about as strong as himself.

Shinji was barely holding onto consciousness at this point, so great was his pain. His mouth was open in a silent scream, as he thrashed around in an attempt to get the Seraph off him, only to receive yet another slash across the face for his trouble.

With his head knocked onto its side, hissing in pain, the meek young man breathed hard for a few moments, his eyes clamped shut. Through great effort, he eventually reopened them...only to see two students with whom he was all too familiar, gawking at him.

Oh you have got to be kidding me!

They were directly next to him, in so close a proximity it was likely he'd crush them if he tried to fight off the Seraph.

I am not killing anyone else

Painful memories of what had become of three hundred innocent people came to mind. And thus he was stuck between getting eviscerated by a sadistic eldritch abomination, and being responsible for the deaths of two more innocents.
--------------------------------
12:22 pm, NERV Central command bridge

What the hell are they doing out of their bunker!?


Misato's subconscious raged as she beheld the two students staring uselessly at the fight unfolding in front of them. Preventing mankind's ultimate weapon from fighting back for fear of hurting them.

Why can't anything go to plan just for once? Her eyebrows narrowed as her folded arms tightened.

She'd seen worse than this, much worse. She would not lose control, she would make do with what she had. As was to be expected of an Impact survivor.

"Link us into the JSA battle chatter. I want to speak to whoever is in command of those Sky ships." She commanded.

"Yes ma'am, doing it now!" Makato obeyed.

In a few moments, contact was established with the flagship of the battle group, HIJMS Tsushima, as its mighty main battery kept pounding their target. The video link showed a fifty something year old man, with greying dark red hair and beard.

"This is Lieutenant Colonel Misato Katsuragi, NERV's Combat Operations Director, to whom am I speaking?"

"Captain Otamo Kirishima of the HIJMS Tsushima at your service. What do you need Lieutenant Colonel?" The Captain said in a gruff and hardened voice. Unsurprising from a veteran of Hoyo strait.

"We need you and your ships to concentrate your fire on one area, if you do that you might have an effect on the damn thing. We're sending you target coordinates now." The purplehead nodded at her subordinates.

The designated area picked was the Serpah's back. Perhaps they might catch it by surprise and even kill it, or at the very least distract it? She tried to cling to such notions as these, but one quick look at her for today only subordinate, told her she was alone in that department. But Ritsuko had always been a pessimist, so it wasn't anything unusual.

There was only static for a while, before the Captain got back to them.

"Coordinates received. Firing at will!"
--------------------------
12:25 pm, just outside shelter 59...

The armament of a Susanoo class FCV is among the most formidable on the planet. Two massive rail guns, which unleashed pallet rounds that could tear through mountains, and obliterate incoming meteors. Four bow mounted missile launchers, coupled with another two situated just behind the bridge. Twelve, six-inch anti aircraft turrets, along with another twelve Anti Aircraft missile emplacements. Three N2 mines. A built into the bow positron cannon. And finally a compliment of fifty Kaze class VTOLs, all being of the fighter bomber variant.

Any other foe would have crumbled before the might of the flying fortresses.

But not Shamshel.

Indeed, the only effect this mighty bombardment had, one which would have ground the world's greatest cities into dust, was the Seraph's A-T field being slightly dented, causing the strange being in question mild annoyance.

Wait for your turn, Vooren, I shall deal with you shortly.

He ignored them, as his confusion grew over why his opponent was simply trying to hold him in place instead of fighting back.

A few moments ago, the destroyer of the last free cities thought the purple demon was buying time for its cowardly comrades to attack him in his blind spot. But now, Shamshel thought there may be another reason for this lack of resistance. Having firmly pinned his opponent to the ground, despite the Eva's struggling, the Seraph began to take more notice of his surroundings.

And they made him very angry indeed.

Two little whelps sat beside the Eva's head, not moving through either fear or stupidity. His foe was not resisting out of fear of striking them. In short, they were denying him the fight he wanted.

Fear or stupidity...it mattered not what controlled their actions. They'd die for it nonetheless.

Shall I rid us of these distractions? The tendrils surged towards Kensuke and Toji, with a mind to rip them limb from limb, with only Shinji holding on for dear life preventing them from being spattered across the surface of that hill.

"Oh no you don't!" The Eva pilot hissed in an uncharacteristically aggressive manner. Why he felt a desire to protect these people, one of whom was beating the snot out of him mere hours ago, was beyond him.

"Shinji-kun, eject your plug."

"W-what?"

"Eject your plug, and get the civilians on board. They have got nowhere to go and they are in the way. Now do it."

It took a few moments for the command to click in his head, but eventually Shinji started pressing the necessary buttons, and his plug slid out of Unit 01's back, not detaching but hanging out. Whilst the Eva held his enemy in place, he opened the side hatch and stared directly into the confused and frightened eyes of his fellow students.

"Get in!"

No response other than empty eyes.

"Get in you stupid fuckers!" Even he was taken aback by that sudden outburst. Perhaps it was frustration with them, or just the sheer amount of stress he'd had to deal with that day.

But it appeared to do the trick. The two started moving, and eventually managed to get into the plug with Shinji having to haul them in by himself. With his not very considerable strength.

These events unfolded while the Seraph looked on in a stunned manner.

A child? Sachiel, my brother, was felled by a child..?

The plug slotted back into the Eva's spine, a sudden barrier of orange lightening flashing into existence, creating a far greater force for the bloodthirsty Heir to try and overwhelm. The battle was not even near one sided anymore.

A child is doing this!?

Shamshel raged for a while at this injustice. That the gods had ordained for a pathetic child to be his opponent, and for said child to have been the murderer of his brother. But the Heir comforted himself.

The screams of children ripped from their mother's arms have always entertained me. But for your anguished last cries...I shall laugh.
------------------------
Within the purple behemoth, Shinji desperately tried to keep his attention on the here and now, as his cockpit's other two inhabitants were making a great deal of noise. But it wasn't just the geek's babbling over his camera getting wet, or the jock freaking out over being able to breathe liquid.

He could understand those.

The real noise however...was like it didn't exist. Like it was a furious tidal wave of whispers. Weird words fluttered around in his head, such as Mother, or Sakura, before a sentence formed.

I'm scared.

Now every single one of his feelings were screaming at the boy to run, but he ignored them.

I mustn't run away, I mustn't run away...

Slowly but surely, Shinji pushed against the Seraph, his arms shaking but undeniably pressing forward, angling his A-T field in such a manner it directly contended with that of his foe. Two walls of orange lightening surged and clashed together, sending sparks of energy flying outwards, vaporising chunks of hills and buildings. And then, so focused on overwhelming his enemy, Shamshel failed to take his rear into account.

A barrage of armour piercing high explosive pallet shells, slammed into his back. The Seraph's screech of rage and pain was a haunting alien howl that echoed across the city, causing soldiers to soil themselves, and civilians in their shelters far below to shiver.

Filth!

His hate, his rage, his cruelty, and his malice came forth from his black heart, as Shamshel quickly withdrew his left tendril from Unit 01's hand, and before the armoured creature could react, used all his strength to wrap his tendril around the Eva's right hand, and lashed outwards.

Being taken by surprise, Shinji found himself being violently thrown aside with what felt like a hot iron only now uncurling from his hand. He stopped rolling after a few moments, managing to regain control of the Eva and attempting to stand, whilst his companions grunted and hissed in pain as they were thrown around.

"Sorry!" He called out, not quite sure why as there was little he could do about his passengers discomfort, before a bright orange light flashed in his direction, originating from his foe.

Oh Spirits...I've seen that before. Shit!

And thus a blast of pure power enveloped Unit 01, with Shinji only just being quick enough to throw all his effort into his A-T field, before the Eva was buried into yet another unfortunate hill. It seemed the Seraph War had a special prejudice against the city and surrounding landscape of Tokyo-3.

With the whelp out of the way, to be dealt with later at his pleasure, Shamshel turned to face the forces of the Japanese State Army and sneered.

You wish for your deaths to be violent? So be it. The only true question is which one of you dies first!
----------------------------
Stars were in his eyes, due to how badly he'd banged his head. A small amount of blood was even trickling from his nose, on top of all the minor burn marks he'd sustained due to the nature of his connection to the god machine. His slumped over form breathed shakily. At least until a hand was laid upon his shoulder.

"Are you okay?" Said Toji, with a look of concern.

The timing of the Shinji's shrieks of pain had always coincided with whenever the Seraph landed a blow on them, leading the jock to one conclusion.

You...feel its pain? Spirits...what must that be like?

Lifting his head up, both of Unit 01's hitch-hikers could now see the red liquid flowing from their driver's nostril, and his dazed expression.

"I-I'm okay..." He whispered painfully before fully engaging his concentration on the situation at hand.

The Seraph...where is it?

He didn't have to look very hard. Shamshel ripped into the frantically firing JSA forces like a tornado of death. With every swish or slash of his tendrils, dozens died.

And he relished in their screams.

Ah the carnage of battle, its glory can never be surpassed!

To the men of the JSA, it was a repeat of the battle with Sachiel.

Every single round harmlessly impacted the Seraph's A-T field. The soldiers of Japan, as brave as they were, lay helpless before the might of a Divine Heir. And they would pay for their doubtlessly courageous sacrifice with their lives.

"Spirits..." Kensuke muttered in a horrified tone, as Shinji's mind returned to the fires of Fukuyama some twelve years before.
-------------------------------
"Save yourself kid! Run, just fucking run!" A soldier calls out, before his head explodes from the impact of a bullet.

Gunfire, gunfire all around him. The sky is filled with smoke yet is somehow a hellish orange colour. Everything is burning, everything is dying.

But the four year old boy does as he is told and runs as fast as his little legs will carry him. So focused on fleeing, he does not notice the Chinese soldier level his weapon at him, nor said trooper's commanding officer grabbing the barrel and pulling just as the shot is fired.

The orphaned child finds a hole to hide in, covered in debris, and squeezes in, sobbing uncontrollably.

He hid there for many hours, before the sound of his shelter being pulled apart caused him to curl into an even tighter ball.

Light shines through a crack upon him, swiftly blocked out by the shadow of a tall, crouched man. A man in blue uniform and grey armour.

"Holy shit..." He mutters in surprise before placing a hand on the child's shoulder. The brown haired boy shrinks away, before the soldier cups his chin and forces eye contact.

"Hey...it's alright. I'm not going to hurt you, you're safe now." The soldier smiles as he gently takes Shinji's hand and begins to pull him onto his stubby legs.

The boy in question experiencing the first act of true kindness shown to him since the death of his mother...

----------------------------
"Shinji-kun...retreat."

The boy's brain had images of blue coated men dying in their droves around him seared into it.

"There's an elevator half a mile to your south. Take it, and we'll figure this out in Central."

"B-b-but..."

"That's an order Pilot."
----------------------------
12:27 pm, NERV Central command bridge

"Why is it doing that?" Ritsuko said out aloud, trying to figure out the Seraph's strategy.

You're supposed to home in on NERV central, or an Eva, not randomly attack forces which can't even hurt you. Is it...angry?

"Well lucky us, it's interested in something else. Shinji-kun get back here right now!" Misato felt her temper rise, as the Eva lay on the ground unmoving, its gaze fixed on the rampaging enemy.

Yes I know, we're letting them die. But the Eva takes priority, Shinji-kun, you must understand that.

As far as she was concerned, they only had two priorities now, all thoughts of victory having long since vanished. Withdraw the Eva, and damage control. For whilst the ground forces were doomed, the air fleet could still get away.

"Captain Kirishima withdraw. You can't do anymore." She advised.

Otamo looked deeply conflicted for a moment, as he watched his comrades die in their droves.

"Forgive me, Katsuragi-san, I don't think we can do that."

"What?" Misato felt her heart drop into her shoes.

"We are soldiers of Japan, we have already suffered the shame of being driven from our own capital city before, we will not endure the like again. Good luck, Lieutenant Colonel, Nippon Banzai." The connection cut.

A few of the bridge crew, the Japanese ones in particular, gave a sombre bow of their heads before continuing work.
----------------------------
12:28 pm, Tokyo-3 airspace, the FCV HIJMS Tsushima.

Otoma turned to face the crew of his command bridge and sighed sadly, whilst rubbing his grey bristle.

"Gentlemen, I don't find within myself the strength to retreat. I will attempt to attack the enemy in whatever way I can to give speed to the retreat of our brothers on the ground. Get to your life pods, it has been an honour."

It was deathly silent for a while, until one of his men, a young ensign, punched his fist in the air and bellowed "I go with Captain Kirishima!"

And then the rest of his crew did the same.

"As do we!" Came the Captain of the HIJMS Musashi, followed by a "seconded" from the Kaga.

A single tear trickled down his wrinkled old cheek, before Kirishima wiped it away.

"Very well." He managed a grizzled smile. "The Tsushima will now commit to a general attack on whatever Spirits forsaken monstrosity resides down there. We will get its attention and cover the retreat of our comrades! Nippon Banzai!"

"Nippon Banzai!" His crew screamed as the entire flotilla roared towards their foe.

The first few seconds of the attack went by in silence, as tracer fire arced towards the Seraph, and aircraft swarmed around it. And then one of the other senior officers took off his cap and filled his lungs with air.

"Japan our home of many isles. Surrounded by the crystal sea!"

Soon enough, the rest of the men joined in with him.

"Red rising sun, let your rays illuminate the entire blue sky!"
-------------------------------
Back on the ground...

The Akuma crew, and many other troopers of the Tokyo-3 garrison, looked up at the sky ships with awe.

It seemed the air force wanted to lend a hand today. And it couldn't have been more appreciated, as over a quarter of their group had already been obliterated by the furious Seraph.

"Keep firing, don't stop!" Kiyoshi bellowed as the Akuma rumbled backwards with the Seraph in hot pursuit, the lead tank of their regiment being split in half by a tendril.

"I'd thought we'd focus more on running the fuck away, sergeant-" Eiji stopped mid snark. As over the radio, the voices of men and women could be heard.

"Cherry blossoms fall from heaven, for all who are brave enough! The soldiers of Japan know not retreat, for we would rather perish with our honour! So forwards march as one!"

It was Akai Asahi, the military march of the JSA.

The Seraph, clearly being annoyed by the Tsushima, swiped a tendril at the great ship, slicing off one of its rear wings.

The men and women of the Tokyo-3 garrison's voices tearfully joined those of the Tsushima, knowing full well what would happen next.

"Our lives for our beloved Japan!"

Shamshel lashed out again, after being struck with a futile salvo of pallet rounds, cutting through the Tsushima's weakened A-T field and armour plating, striking the mighty sky ship's primary S2 reactor.

"All reactors have gone critical, their overloading. Nippon Banzai!" A Lieutenant yelled, whilst Otoma closed his old and tired eyes.

A brief image came to mind, one of a fifteen year old girl with short, dark red hair running towards him, laughing as she embraced her father with all her worth.

Forgive me, Mana.

And thus the two hundred metre long warship, along with its crew of a thousand brave servicemen, were vaporised in an instant. And a further one hundred thousand of their comrades, wept at their sorry sacrifice.
-------------------------
12:29 pm, what's left of some random hill...

The explosion was blinding, as was to be expected of an S2 reactor igniting.

But he couldn't look away, none of them could.

There was no chance any of them survived. Another thousand people had died because of his cowardice.

Shinji's brain had frozen in the face of the carnage unfolding before him. Armoured vehicles flew threw the air, some even striking the occasional unfortunate aircraft. Individual human beings were splattered across the city in a gory work of art on the Seraph's part.

There was nothing the Japanese State Army could do to stop the enemy, nothing whatsoever. An N2 strike could slow the thing down, but it was too far into the city centre. A strike there would kill every last soul in Tokyo-3.

There was no point resisting. And yet they refused to retreat.

The men in blue were dying to save his wretched life again.

Just like Fukuyama...

"Shinji-kun. Retreat."
Misato's tone became dangerous.

"But...all those people..."

"They're expendable, the Eva isn't. Now do as I say soldier."

He sat there, unmoving, horrified by such a callous disregard of human life, especially from someone he saw as kind. No words or retort came to mind, only silence.

The plug's other two occupants however, had looks of total revulsion upon their young faces. Retreat, even defeat itself, wasn't in the nature of the Japanese people to begin with, but this?

Leaving their own countrymen, and the family members hiding in the shelters below the city, to save their own wretched skin was unacceptable.

I wonder if he thinks like that though? Kensuke's subconscious murmured as he could see the look of anguish on Shinji's face, as he tried to come to a decision.

"Pilot I am ordering you to retreat! Do it!"

But the boy in question couldn't hear her. All he could see were the tanks of the Tokyo-3 garrison resolutely refusing to fall back. And the faces of the men who'd given their lives to save his own pathetic one all those years ago.

Not again...not again...not again!

His guardian was still yelling at him to do as he was told, but he wasn't in the mood now. His countrymen were being massacred and they needed his help.

Not one more. His subconscious found itself growling.

Slowly but surely pushing a button that cut Misato's video link, he sat back in his seat, breathing deeply.

"I'm sorry, I can't leave them."

Kensuke forced a smile.

"It's okay, you do what you have to do."

"We're right behind you." Toji added in a serious manner. Most of the hatred he had for this boy had melted away now, having seen his anguish and fear in combat. And how he baulked at the mere thought of not trying to stop the enemy with a snow ball's chance in hell. If this was to be their end, then he wouldn't let this kid think he was dying alone.

I'm sorry, Sakura.

Urging Unit 01 to rise, Shinji felt the titan's strength coursing through him, its ancient wrath almost intoxicating.

But he had a job to do.

A quick flashback to an earlier simulation test gave him an idea. The test where he'd been shown the existence of the progressive knife, an actual blade made of some alloy he didn't understand, which was coated in positronic energy. A knife which resided in the Eva's back.

Stab it to death with that, sounds good...

"Voice command, Shinji Ikari. Deploy prog knife!" He'd imagined these words would come out as controlled and authoritative, but of course owing to his nature, something that resembled a shriek escaped his lips.

The Eva's back slid open, and now his weapon was to hand.

The pain in his chest and on his hands, the pain which had so distracted him before, faded away when he beheld the Seraph grasp another Sky ship.

Not one more, you bastard!

Screaming some sort of battle cry in his shrill voice, he thundered forward, the Earth itself shaking before the Eva's wrath. Had he been in the correct frame of mind, Shinji may have enjoyed the feeling of such power, as he'd possessed hardly any of it for the majority of his life. But he was too angry for that.

Shamshel felt the thunder in the ground, and sighed in irritation.

Can you not wait for your turn, Voor? I was enjoying myself-

Tossing the HIJMS Musashi aside, causing the mighty vessel to impact and demolish a large hill, he swung round to face the Eva, tendrils swishing through the air, hoping to slice off the purple monster's head. Despite them catching Unit 01 in the face, Shinji stormed ahead, slamming his right shoulder into the Seraph's A-T field and smashing straight through, despite some resistance.

The Divine Heir barely had time to react before the full force of the Eva's size and weight, coupled with its master's wrath, collided with him, bowling Shamshel off his metaphorical feet.

You...you didn't have strength such as this before!?

In those few precious moments, Shinji noticed the red jewel in what could be called his foe's chest area.

His target had finally been acquired.

The boy planted his left hand into the Seraph's face, keeping it firmly pressed into the ground, before moving to strike with his blade.

But the destroyer of the last free cities would not die so easily.

Swishing upwards, Shamshel's energy tendrils cut a great X shape in the Eva's chest armour, eliciting a howl of pain from his foe, followed by a solid wall of orange lightening throwing Shinji off him, which gave the blood thirsty Heir nothing but ecstasy. Not that it dampened his rage.

I am Heir Shamshel! Sovereign Netzach's second eldest, and you will not humiliate me, brat!

Quickly scrambling back to his feet, the young Pilot's cerulean gaze fixed on his opponent, whom having risen up to its full height, produced a horrifying alien battle screech.

Shinji however, was undeterred.

Curling both his hands around his knife, Unit 01 thundered forward, with the young defender of humanity gripping his control sticks with stone cold determination upon his face, a few trickles of water issuing forth from his eyes. For although resolved, he was still afraid.

Thrusting one of his energy whips forward into the Eva, Shamshel sneered as it staggered. And then watched in shock as it rose again, somehow even more furious than before.

Why will you not die!?

Despite his howl of agony, with even his companions gritting their teeth as they felt like they'd been stung by a bee on the chest, Shinji didn't stop for anything, with even the Seraph's prepared and readjusted A-T field being nothing but a temporary barrier. To Shamshel's surprise, despite knowing his opponent was coming and having time to prepare his own wall of light, Unit 01 broke through it like a sword through bone, its knife directed at his heart.

The Seraph attempted to move back, but Shinji was too quick. His blade sank into the creature of eldritch lore's S2 core.

I-I-Impossible... He tried to recoil from both shock and pain, as royal blue blood trickled down the metal blade, but Unit 01 clasping its left hand around the Heir's throat put an end to that.

I am Shamshel! I...will...not...die!

Another tendril surged forward and struck Unit 01 in the chest, right next to where the other tendril resided.

And then Shamshel forced them outward, despite the toughness of the Eva's hide and armour. Although not being able to immediately rip him open, a huge gash was slowly rent in Shinji's armour, accompanied with the screeching of torn metal, and the sound of sizzling flesh.

Hissing in agony, causing instinct to kick in, the boy twisted his knife further and further into the red jewel. The tearing sensation in his chest slowly desisting in its spread.

Die...die...die...suffer...squeal... Shamshel's strength began to fade faster than that of his enemy, as his efforts to rip the Eva in half stopped.

D-defeat? How is this...possible? How? The S2 core cracked open, blue blood issuing forth from it like a flood.

You're inferior...you can't win...you're all weak cowards! How did I lose? How am I...dying?

Despite raging against the dying of his light, even Shamshel succumbed to the darkness of death. One thought, whispering in his mind.

R-Ramiel...my beautiful sister...they are stronger than we think...please be safe...

Shinji violently but swiftly withdrew his blade from the Seraph, leaving it upright for a micro-second, only to eventually crumple over, the tendrils which had tortured the Eva pilot slipping out of his wound. Like their wielder, they would never move again.

And thus Heir Shamshel, conqueror of the last Fleilan cities, commander of the red band, finally died.

Accompanied by the thunderous cheers of one hundred thousand men.
---------------------------------
12:45 pm, NERV Central command bridge

"Plug has been ejected. Pilot's retrieval has begun." Maya slumped back in her seat, exhaling loudly. It would take another couple of hours to wrap everything up with putting the Eva back in its cage, diagnostics to run, and sorting out all the paperwork involved with those two stupid boys they'd dropped at the police station, but she'd be home soon enough.

Time does fly when you're doing the best job in the world after all.

What...a day...

She stretched her fingers, hearing the satisfying clicks of them being put back into place. Whilst she did this, Maya did her best to ignore her temporary Commander's clear anger.

Misato's expression for the past fifteen minutes could only be described as fuming. Granted, it had momentarily looked like even she'd been impressed by Shinji's bravery, but that had been brief.

"Make sure Pilot Ikari stays in the locker room. I want a word with him." She swung around and marched off, purple hair billowing behind her.

Ritsuko watched her go with a sigh.

Seriously Misato-chan, he's sixteen years old. You can't expect him to be a soldier just like that. And besides...

Unseen by anyone, the faux blonde's mouth curled into a small smile.

In his position, you would have done exactly the same thing.

Turning back around, she saw that most of the staff had watched the combat director's storming off with either vague amusement or interest.

"Did you anyone tell you to stop working?" She raised an eyebrow.

"No, Sub Commander!"

"Um, Sub commander Akagi?" Maya called out.

"Yes, Lieutenant Ibuki, what is it?" .

"Apparently Commander Ikari is on his way back...and he wants a debrief..." She had to stop herself bursting into laughter as her idol's expression dropped.

Fuck.
----------------------------
12:50 pm, Pilot locker rooms,

After quickly showering off the revolting orange substance known as LCL, Shinji had changed out of his itchy plug suit and slipped back into what he came here with.

His school uniform.

As warm as it was, anything was better than the plug suit. Having tied his shoe laces up, he sat down on one of the many benches and breathed deeply, bracing for what was to come.

Upon leaving his plug, one of the maintenance crew had told him the "Lieutenant Colonel" wanted a word with him. He may have been socially awkward, but he knew what that meant.

Punishment.

Resigned to whatever physical blow was to be landed upon him, he stayed put, awaiting his guardian's fury. But at heart he wasn't afraid for once. Because it felt like he'd done the right thing.

Quite an accomplishment for me I suppose...

Pounding footsteps could be heard approaching him, causing Shinji to end his self reflection. Keeping his eyes firmly on the floor, he saw Misato's shadow be cast over him, her arms folded.

"What the hell happened out there?"

He remained silent, reckoning from experience this was a rhetorical question. And answering rhetorical questions usually ended up with a black eye.

Although as ever when it came to social things, he was somewhat wrong.

She sighed in exasperation.

"Do you think this is a game? That you can just do whatever you want in one of the most expensive pieces of equipment in history? Well I've got news for you, Pilot." Her voice reached a dangerous edge.

"You are a soldier now. You do as you are told, without question. If you were older I'd be putting you under disciplinary action, or even court marshal. But as you are only a boy-" She put special emphasis on that word, indicating his childishness.

"-I'll let it slide. Just this once. But if you ever do something like that again, then you go straight back where you came from. You can forget about us and the Evangelion. Because we do not need someone with that attitude."

It felt like a little part of Shinji's soul snapped at those words.

Of course nobody needs me. How could I have ever thought I was anything other than worthless...

He slowly angled his gaze up at her, fighting back the pathetic tears which threatened to spill forth.

"I was just trying..."

To do the right thing.

"Do what!? Get yourself killed!? Get mankind's last hope wrecked whilst you do it!? Tell me, Pilot Ikari, what were you trying to do!? Prove that you won't just runaway, or that you'll have some sort of mental breakdown during combat!? Tell me!"

Shinji felt like trembling for a bit, but managed to get it under control.

"I-I-I'm..."

Sorry.

"Stop babbling like a child. You are sixteen years old so act like it!" The purplehead's folded arms somehow managed to become even tighter, as her brown eyes became narrower. The wimpy boy stared at them for a little while, weak blue quailing before harsh brown. At that point, he decided to cut loose. He would probably have more success with that than what he was already doing.

"What was I meant to do? J-J-Just...just leave them there?"

"So that's it?" Misato tiredly exhaled and shook her head.

"They were soldiers of Japan, Shinji-kun. Giving their lives for their country is basically in the job description." The tightness of her folded arms relaxed a little, as she slowly realised the anguish her charge was in.

"They were braver than me..." Misato's narrowed eyebrows completely disappeared as tears started rolling down her charges' cheeks.

"They should have been the ones to live, not me! I'm a worthless coward who keeps getting people killed because he's an idiot...they already died for me twelve years ago...at Fukuyama...I left them to die, I couldn't do it again..." His shoulders and head slumped and the tears rolled freely, as he'd wanted to let them for a while now.

"I have a mountain of failures on my shoulders already Katsuragi-san. I don't need...or want, anymore."

"But what if the Seraph had killed you? What then?" Her voice became a little more gentle.

"There would not be a single thing on this planet which could stop a Seraph. It would kill us all. You're an Eva pilot, Shinji-kun, I don't care what you think about yourself, you are not expendable." She put a hand on his shoulder, causing the boy to look back up at her.

"But all those people...those soldiers today...those civilians I crushed to death...were they expendable?"

Misato took a few moments to answer, a little part of her soul plummeting into her shoes over the mere fact he knew about that incident with the shelter, and this time she let her heart speak.

"No...they weren't. The Evangelion had to take priority, but you're right. There's no such thing as expendable...heh, war's a horrible thing isn't it?" She gently pulled the sobbing teen onto his feet and into an embrace he didn't resist.

Yes he'd still been insubordinate.

Yes he'd very nearly got them all killed.

Yes he'd gotten her worried out of her mind.

But even if it was the wrong thing to do, as he probably knew in her eyes, it was at least done for the right reasons.

"I-I-I know that I should follow orders. I know I'm a soldier now. But...a soldier's job is to protect his people right? If I didn't do that...wouldn't I be failing in my duty?"

Misato honestly didn't know what to say. Granted there were probably some arguments she could put forward against that ideology, but Shinji was certainly not in the right place for it now.

To hell with telling him off...

"The ship that went down...the one I didn't let the Seraph rip apart...they all died didn't they?" He murmured quietly, knowing in his heart that must be the case.

"No. The Musashi took some structural damage and there were a hundred or so injured but no fatalities. You saved their lives, Shinji-kun." Her words were met with silence, as the mousey haired boy silently pondered the significance of those words.

"Shall we go home?"

"Yes please."
 
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It may have been a clone, but Rei was still a being of flesh and blood, and could be broken just as easily as anyone else.
I understand this world faces far greater issues, but this is kind of a heartless attitude.

Two little whelps sat beside the Eva's head, not moving through either fear or stupidity. His foe was not resisting out of fear of striking them.
Oh.

Shall I rid us of these distractions? The tendrils started to surge towards Kensuke and Toji, with only the Eva holding on for dear life preventing them from being incinerated.
Oh shit.


A brief image came to him of a 16 year old girl with short dark red hair running towards him, laughing as she embraced her father with all her worth.

I'm sorry Mana.
Of course that last name wasn't a coincidence. She's going to blame Shinji for her father's death, isn't she?

You did a fine job at making Shamshel come off as menacing.
 
I think your action is a little thin because you summarize things a little too much, and you insert a layer of Shinji thinking and feeling things between readers and the actual facts or action.

For example, at one point you say that Shinji feels terror in his heart and senses Shamshel's murderous intent. You do this in all of two lines; I could easily imagine two full paragraphs trying to get this sense across. Moreover, spending more time getting it across would help reinforce the idea.

Later on, you say Shamshel "applied a great deal of pressure" to rip the Eva apart. How, and in what way? I can imagine applying a great deal of pressure, but it requires me filling in the gaps. I want to see something more concrete: how bodies are contorting under pressure, maneuvers, gestures, and so on. I thin you have a tendency to lapse into descriptions like these, which have no concrete image attached to them.

You tend to have a layer of indirection where Shinji hears and feels things. This is a common trap, in my opinion: you could say directly what is being heard or felt as fact and save some words, and also add immediacy to the situation.

I think if you streamline these things, and expand on some things you want to get across in detail, it may help.
 
Chapter 3.4
Well, it seems the fight scenes you lot would like are above and beyond me.

How to explain it, I'm just no good at them. No matter how hard I try, I just can't seem to make it "flow" or "sound right." Could be due to how my brain's wired up (seriously, Aspergers Syndrome produces some of the bluntest, awkwardest, and most tedious things imaginable) but overall it's somewhat irrelevant.

I'm just unversed in word based combat.

Does anyone know any Eva fics that include really good fight scenes? I might wish to carry some reconnaissance for future segments...

Anyways, moving swiftly forward I present the final segment of chapter 3.

Do enjoy!
----------------------------------------
11:20am, Monday the 27th of June, Tokyo-3, Sengokuhara high school.


Outside, the rain pattered on the window, causing some students to run back in doors as they had been enjoying the merciless Japanese sun being blocked out by thick grey clouds.

However, within the class, one particular boy ignored it.

Kensuke Aida had always been a person who was easily distracted, primarily because there were more interesting things in this universe than whatever people usually prattled on about. After years of hearing the words "I'm sorry" or the ever favoured "I'll make it up to you next time," he'd become a master of descending into his own little world on demand.

He continued to quite fondly look down at what was probably his most preferred toy as people called it. But a toy it was not, for this small model of the mighty World War Two Battleship, Yamato, was worth far more than that.

It was a gift, from a long lost loved one.

However, he did not associate this boat with sad memories, oh no, this brought him happiness unlike anything else. Even his massive and hand made model of an Imperial Dauntless class Dreadnought, paled before the fifty centimetre long piece of tin before him. However upon looking to his left, Kensuke sighed.

Toji sat at his desk looking rather down, as he had done for the past few days.

The geek could understand.

The jock was worried about that Shinji boy.

To be frank so was he, as ever since that "incident" nearly a week ago they hadn't heard hide nor hair of him. This wasn't helped by the sheer weight guilt on Toji's shoulders over the whole "beating the ever living shit out of the messed up kid who'd saved the fucking planet twice" thing.

Deciding to lighten his best friend's mood, Kensuke brought up Toji's fun sounding activity.

"So...how's Sakura?"

"I explained what happened the other day...she's furious with me." The black haired boy shook his head with a chuckle.

The twelve year old, after raving for five minutes straight, demanded that he apologise at the earliest convenience or else face the beating of a life time when she was fully healed.

If she was ever fully healed.

"Hell hath no fury eh?" Kensuke smiled as he patted his best friend on the back.

"Yes." A voice every person in the class feared boomed.

Toji and Kensuke's smiles vanished, as Hikari Horaki walked over with her target locked expression.

A few minutes previously, she'd been talking to the girl with short, dark red hair, who sat at the back of the class, in a very tender and comforting manner as the girl in question had quietly sobbed whilst holding a colour photo of herself being hugged by a middle aged man in air force Captain's uniform...

She stopped just in front of Toji's desk, one hand hanging loosely and the other on her hip.

He gulped.

"Oh...um...Horaki-san. is there anything I can do for you-" He was stopped mid sentence as the palm of her hand impacted his cheek.

She stared at him for a few moments with her brown eyes narrowed, before informing him of the reason he'd been struck. In voice that heralded a hurricane.

"Your treatment of Ikari-san the other day is almost reason enough for you to be expelled. You have one warning, Suzuhara-san, one. And Spirits help you if you need another. You will apologise at the earliest opportunity, no later." She turned around and strode away, sitting down at the front of the class whilst everyone else sniggered.

To his shame, Kensuke included.

"Well you have always wanted her to touch you..."

The jock turned his face towards Kensuke, completely red from Hikari's hand and blushing.

"Shut the fuck up."
--------------------------
Hikari sat at her desk, with a frown. Honestly she'd expected more of the classroom jock. She knew he was actually quite a gentle giant, anyone who was best friends with Kensuke Aida couldn't be anything but. In all her five years of knowing Toji, this sort of behaviour was unheard of. Of course she felt a little bad over the whole hitting him thing, but ultimately Hikari felt he deserved and required it. After all, compared to what "Shinji" had been put through, it was a facade.

She didn't know the boy personally, but nonetheless he was a student in her class and under her jurisdiction, therefore her protection.

But from the look in his eyes, she felt the message was understood. Granted she'd wished to administer this on the day the incident had occurred, but with all the chaos that thing had caused, a few days off were in order.

And considering what she'd heard about the whole affair, Ikari, Aida and Suzuhara had all earned a bit of piece and quiet...for now.

Still need to kick their assess for sneaking out like that...She smirked to herself. For Hikari Horaki was not called "The Pig Tailed Dictator" for nothing.
-----------------------------
Toji tapped his desk in thought, as he had done for the past few days. Him being him, he couldn't get past his guilt over what had happened between him and Shinji the previous week.

For all the kid had known, he'd simply been taking a breath of fresh air, and then someone who was related to someone he'd accidentally hurt, was beating the snot of him.

Yes, Sakura's right. Real mature man...real mature...

"You know, if you just want to say sorry to the guy you could always call him?" Kensuke smashed his moment of reflection with a prod of his finger.

"Hmm, what?"

"I said if you wanted to apologise, you could always call him. I got his number off the class Rep."

Toji hadn't really thought about using modern technology to solve his problem, but the idea seemed sound. And thus with a few minutes before break's end, with a new contact in his phone's memory banks, he pressed the call button.
-------------------------------
11:20am, residential district 9

Someone was knocking on the door.

Seiichi slowly turned his head towards it, as he washed the dishes upon which resided the remnants of the meal he and his girlfriend had just eaten. Rice and sweet and sour chicken...as much as he despised the nation it heralded from, he couldn't help but admit it was delicious.

And of course it was cooked by his girlfriend, so he couldn't say otherwise.

"I'll get it!" The most beautiful woman in the world called out to him, as she swiftly walked over to the door.

Today, Mikasa had dressed casually, yet she still looked like ten billion yen to Seiichi. He could have stood there all day, drinking in her image.

In his uniform.

Today had been deemed a special case for the Tokyo-3 garrison. Half of them got a day of leave, and the other half would tomorrow. So the young man had got himself prepared for the evening when he would have to return to barracks.

Mikasa's shoulders slumped as she looked through the peephole in her door.

"It's them."

"I can tell them to go away if you want..." Seiichi said awkwardly.

"No...they're your friends. For you and me to work..." She looked thoughtful for a moment then continued.

"I can't keep you away from your friends, especially when you won't keep me from mine. And anyway, those two are good fun after all." She smiled a little, upon remembering that evening some few days previous.

During the battle between the Seraph and the Evangelion, the entrance to her sector's shelter had caved in, forcing the JSA to pull aside the rubble. And part of that unit, a volunteer, was her boyfriend. Their reunion had been...emotional...and then ruined by his comrades mockery. All this had led to a night camped outside the Akuma, with Eiji and Kiyoshi sharing embarrassing stories about Seiichi's past. Such as pissing himself upon their first engagement, the stick incident, and the mumblings he would make in his sleep.

Their language, save for that of the Sergeant, had been foul, and their humour crude. Yet Mikasa had taken to them with a liking, and unlike most civilians, had not been intimidated by the Sergeant's scarred and burned face.

Upon Seiichi getting a day of leave, and having another night of passion, during one of their bed talks she'd even described them as "funny."

So the two JSA soldiers were let in, with Eiji holding some bottles of wine, and Kiyoshi having his eyebrows raised at his subordinates' enthusiasm.

"Ah, Torogi-san, pleasure as always!" The driver beamed, and Mikasa could tell by his breath that he was a little drunk.

"I hope we aren't intruding, but my comrade here practically insisted on paying you both a visit." The Sergeant rolled his eyes in apparent annoyance behind Eiji's back, causing Mikasa to smile, and her boyfriend to chuckle.

"You all love me and you know it..." The driver loudly grumbled before taking a non-offered seat, and setting the bottles on the table.

"Both of them are Italian, not easy to get hold of these days I might add. Had to call in a favour or two for them, and they're both red. So...knock yourselves out." He opened a bottle and reached out to grab a glass.

"Eiji." Kiyoshi said sharply.

"Oh...right...hai..." Eiji quickly turned his head to face Mikasa, who was leaning against the wall with her arms folded.

"Do you mind if I use one of your glasses?"

"Go ahead." She nodded, before resigning herself to another day of dealing with JSA troopers, and brought herself over to the table, filling up a glass for herself.

"Torogi-san, do you mind if get myself a glass of water." Kiyoshi put forward in a manner so shockingly polite for him, his men stared at him in wonder.

"Yes of course. It's not the year 2000 anymore, we don't ration water these days." She laughed a little, with the sergeant bowing his head politely and gratefully.

Seiichi shot Eiji a look.

What the hell was that?

The driver, with widened eyes, simply shrugged.

I don't fucking know!

With Kiyoshi getting his drink, and Seiichi finishing washing up, all four sat at the small table, talking among each other.

"So, how long exactly have you two been together?" The sergeant took a sip of his water, whilst quietly chastising his other subordinate, whom had already gulped down a glass of wine.

Kiyoshi had never like alcohol, it had always been too strong for him. Even some of the western cider made him wrinkle his nose up in disgust.

"January 19th 2015. That was when we met." Seiichi smiled a little, taking his girlfriend's hand in his own. He vividly remembered it, on one of his weeks of leave when he'd been left standing around at some sort of societal function, and then she'd come over to him and asked for a dance.

One thing had led to another, and they'd traded phone numbers before the night was done. Not to mention kissed in the moon's light.

"That makes sense. You started mumbling about her two years ago." Kiyoshi nodded, whilst Eiji almost spat his wine out.

"Two years? I thought you'd been crushing on her for a bit, not going out with her from the word go. Two years? What's a ravishing young lady like you doing going out with this plum for the past two years?"

"Oh shut up before I bash your brains out with my helmet."

"Calm your fucking tits, Private lover boy, it was just a joke..."

"Both of you, mind your language. We're in the presence of a lady." Their superior officer strictly commanded, as if he were some sort of father.

In a response that indicated the two may well have been his children, Seiichi and Eiji paled, yelled "Hai!" then went quiet.

Mikasa, with a black eyebrow raised, made a mental note to write down advice from the Sergeant on how to deal with undisciplined troops such as her boyfriend, and laughed.

Soon enough, the other three joined her.

It is often said that a man swoons when he sees the girl he loves smile. But Mikasa's heart would always skip a beat when her boyfriend smiled that sweet one of his. The one that had made her fall in love with him all those years ago.
--------------------------------
11:25am, Sengokuhara high school.

Standing outside the building to get a good signal, Toji held his phone to his ear for a while. In times gone by he would have worried about using up all his credit, but with these contracts and unlimited texts and calls, there was no issue. And yet he still stood there for a minute straight, the rain hammering down around him.

He was about to put the phone down, assuming the boy he wished to speak to wasn't into that sort of thing, only for it to be answered at the last second.

"Um...hello? Who...who is this?"

"Uh, hey, Ikari-san. It's Suzuhara. I was just wondering how you were because you haven't been in for the past few days and you weren't so good the last time I saw you and..."

Spirits, I sound like a nervous wreck.

Having always hated showing weakness, the black haired boy gritted his teeth and awaited the reply of someone he'd wanted to murder with his bare hands only a week before.

"Well...thanks for your concern. I'm fine, I've just had to skip a few days of school, debriefing, synch training and all that. I'll be coming back tomorrow."

"Cool...just wanted to see if you were alright. I'll see you tomorrow then."

Toji would have ended the conversation then, yet something kept nagging at him.

"Yeah...see you then."

You will apologise at the earliest opportunity, no later
The phrase echoed in Toji's brain as he mustered the courage to say what had to be said.

"Um...Ikari-san?" He scratched the back of his head whilst trying to find the right words.

"Yes, Suzuhara-san?"

"About the other day...I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. That was me being a complete jack ass. You didn't deserve any of it..." He swallowed, whilst closing his eyes and sighing.

"Just wanted to say."

There was silence for a few moments, before Shinji Ikari managed to overcome his shock and respond.

"I-I-It's okay...you were going through quite a bit."

"Gah, that doesn't make it right!"

"Perhaps... anyway...I've got to go now. I think my room mate is trying to cook lunch again..." What sounded like a shudder echoed on the other end.

"That bad huh?" Toji chuckled. Having sampled his father's cooking, he knew all too well what that kind of garbage tasted like.

"You have no idea."

"Well, I suppose you'll just have to tell me all about it next time you come into school. See you then." The jock began to take the phone away from his ear, a strange smile on his face.

"Yeah...bye."

The most forced conversation both teenagers had ever experienced, ended when Toji pressed the end call button on his Samsung.

He exhaled through his nose and shook his head.

Damn, that didn't go like how I planned at all. But oh well...the guy seems nice. And after everything he did the other day...I think I like him.
--------------------------------
11:28am, NERV quarters.

Shinji put his phone down, and stared at his bedroom wall in a mixture of confusion and disbelief.

Did I just...make friends with someone?
 
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Does anyone know any Eva fics that include really good fight scenes? I might wish to carry some reconnaissance for future segments...
Hmm. Neon Genesis Evangelion: Genocide was good at that, if I recall.

A few minutes previously, she'd been talking to the girl with short and dark red hair who sat at the back of the class, in a very tender and comforting manner, as the girl in question had quietly sobbed whilst holding a colour photo of herself being hugged by an old man in a Sky battleship Captain's uniform...
Poor Mana. :(

"Oh...um...Class Representative Horaki. is there anything I can do for you-" He was stopped mid sentence as the palm of her hand impacted with his cheek.
Get appointed Class Rep, smack a fool in the face.

"I'll get it!" Practically the most beautiful woman in the world called out to him, as she swiftly walked over to the door.

Today Mikasa had dressed casually, yet she still looked like a billion yen to Seiichi. In fact he could have simply stood there all day, drinking in her image.

Damn newlyweds.

Shinji put his phone down, and stared at his bedroom wall in a mixture of confusion and disbelief.

Did I just...make friends with someone?

Just for that, you get front seats once the world ends.

Those scenes with the tank crew are the best. I wonder how long their good fortune will last, especially Seiichi's.
 
Well, it seems the fight scenes you lot would like are above and beyond me.

How to explain it, I'm just no good at them. No matter how hard I try, I just can't seem to make it "flow" or "sound right." Could be due to how my brain's wired up (seriously, Aspergers Syndrome produces some of the bluntest, awkwardest, and most tedious things imaginable) but overall it's somewhat irrelevant.

I wouldn't worry too much about it, really. No one person can improve every aspect of their writing all at once

I try to focus on a small handful of things I want to work on and keep them in mind. For instance, I piece I was working on a couple years ago, the big thing I heard from people was that I wasn't developing the environment and integrating it into the overall tone, or with the characters' moods and feelings. So I worked on that a lot for that piece and didn't worry as much about other stuff.

You just have to decide, you know, what you want to work on and prioritize.
 
Teh musics 1
Whilst I'm typing up the chapters yet to come, I thought that perhaps you could gain a better picture of the world with some music.

So here are some renamed pieces of music for Sovereignty's hypothetical soundtrack. Good lord I have no life...
-----------------------------------------
The world on their shoulders, main title theme and replacement for cruel angel's thesis.

Might of the Seraphim, leitmotif of the Divine Race and replacement for Angel attack.

Akai Asahi, military march and theme of the JSA.

Yuki, Shinji's theme.

NERV, the organization in question's leitmotif.

Itami, Gendo's theme.

SEELE, theme of those who wish to bring about man's end.

Lion's roar, national anthem of the Great British Empire.

Federal march, leitmotif of the North American Federation.

The Bear's jaws, main theme of the Union of Western Communist Republics.

Red Dragon, leitmotif of the People's Republics of Asia (more specifically China)
--------------------------------------------------------
Yup, I really have far too much time on my hands. :(

Next segment on Monday.
 
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Chapter 4.1
Well what do you know? It's Monday, my laptop is to hand, and I, being the ever flowing river that just keep on giving, feel like gracing you with another chapter.

Well, here we go!
-------------------------------------------------
"Due to its possible use for military purposes, cloning is henceforth outlawed."

Article 18 of the Vatican Treaty, drawn up by the United Nations, December 25th 2006
-------------------------
5:30pm, Thursday the 29th of June, Tokyo-3, NERV quarters.

Shinji was glad to be doing the cooking. With an apron wrapped around him, he fried the fish that would soon be added to his already prepared rice with a grace that could only be made by experience.

It'll need a kick to it...

"Katsuragi-san? Do you mind if I use some of the Wasabi?"

"Sure! Go right ahead, but not too much. Rits-chan here can't handle spice..." Misato chuckled as their guest for the evening harrumphed.

"It's not that I can't handle spice, it's just that I don't take pleasure in my taste buds being incinerated." Ritsuko muttered.

It wasn't often the two women did stuff together these days, the times they'd visit each others homes even less so. But the Sub Commander had taken advantage of work related matters to bring herself over here. Into this far more cramped and simple dwelling than her own.

But because Misato lived here, it was far more lively with her unending aptitude for teasing echoing through the halls.

Deep down, Ritsuko really enjoyed the purplehead's party girl ways. It was a reminder of the old days, of college and doing stupid shit they hoped their tutor would never find out about.

The days before Gendo Ikari, were something she missed.

The cooking she was subjected to however...not so much. That was why the faux blonde was quite thankful for Shinji right then and there. She didn't know how good his cooking was, but it couldn't be any worse than that of her old college friend.

"How's dinner coming along, it smells good." Misato had already asked some three times before over the past ten minutes, whilst she and her guest sat on the lounge floor with a table at the centre, inevitably with six or so cans of beer lying around.

It'll be ready when it's ready...his subconscious grumbled before he responded with "It's almost done."

Shinji added a drop or two of sauce to the fried fish mixture, and then to the rice. A quiet warking by his feet made him look down and sigh.

"It would be a bit spicy for you, Pen-pen. Sorry."

The Penguin warked in dissatisfaction before it waddled off.

A few minutes later, he walked into the lounge with three plates of rice, covered in some slightly spiced fish, steam still wafting off it. Misato gave a quick applause of excitement and approval, whilst Ritsuko raised an eyebrow.

Smells nice...looks nice...am I in the right house?

Having set the food down, the three tucked in. Well "tucked in", as in, Shinji ate his food in the classic polite manner, Misato wolfed it down as someone who was always in a hurry for something would, and Ritsuko gingerly prodded her food with her chopsticks, wary of possible spice. Eventually giving in to her curiosity, the faux blonde placed some fish in her mouth, and found it quite delightful.

It was spicy, but not quite enough to be "painful" as she would say.

Turning to her right, Ritsuko inwardly sighed upon seeing Misato had gotten through half her meal already.

"You'll give yourself indigestion..."

"At least my food won't get cold." The younger woman shot back.

Shinji didn't add anything to the conversation, as whilst he did agree with "Akagi-san," he'd never really been one for taking sides. Unless said side happened to be against his father...

"So, Ikari-san" He nearly jumped when Ritsuko addressed him, but quickly met her gaze so as not to be impolite.

"How are you finding life with my old room mate?"

"Katsuragi-san has been kind to me. I am very grateful to her..." He didn't mean for his tone to be so forced, but it clearly was.

Ritsuko's chuckling, and Misato's playfully raised eyebrow, showed that.

"I'm sure she has been. Now..." The faux blonde used a handkerchief to dab her mouth.

I'll have to make a note to come over here whenever he's cooking.

"Unfortunately I didn't just come over to spend time with the big baby-"

"Hey!" Misato interrupted indignantly.

"I do have some work related things to attend to." Ritsuko started rummaging around in her grey uniform's pockets, totally ignoring the purplehead's various harrumphs.

"Ayanami-san's security card has expired, I have her new one right here." Grasping hold of said card, she drew it out of her pocket and handed it to a surprised Shinji.

"I believe you should be the one to give it to her. Don't worry, her address is on there."

Visit...Ayanami-san? I'm still struggling to think about even talking to her, let alone go to wherever she lives. I...It's not that I don't want to...it's just...

"What? Me? Um...I...no...I've got school tomorrow and...and I've got a synch test as well. I'll be too busy..." He stammered.

"You could take it to her before school? If you get up early enough you'll have plenty of time." Misato both cheerfully and unhelpfully offered.

Thanks.

"But...why me?"

"Tenka-sensei has informed of the fact you're aware of, Ayanami-san's...origins. I'll point out here that is quite classified, higher ranks only, but as a Pilot and considering your...relation...you are entitled to know. Just...try and keep it to yourself okay?" She waited for him to nod in acceptance before continuing.

"Alright then. Back on topic, I understand it must be very awkward for you, but you will need to start socialising with her eventually. You are going to be co-workers after all. And besides...Ayanami-san is a nice girl, you've got nothing to fear from her."

Shinji's attempt at a response died in his throat, as he regretfully noted how he couldn't fault her logic. Besides, it was time he had another conversation with Rei, instead of gazing hopelessly at her from across the class room.

Well...it seems we're having a talk tomorrow. I hope it'll be less awkward for you than it will be for me.

"What actually happened to her? I mean as in...why was she hospitalized when I got here?" He decided to change the topic, and gain some useful information while he was at it.

Ritsuko closed her eyes and exhaled through her nose whilst her gloved hands started fiddling with themselves.

"About a day or so before you arrived, we attempted to activate Unit 00. Something went wrong...very wrong." She trailed off for a few moments.

"We lost control. We had to initiate an emergency shut down of the Eva, which caused Ayanami-san's entry plug to eject...inside the simulation area..."

The table was quiet for a while, with Misato grimly remembering the aftermath, and Shinji's jaw dropping.

"That sounds awful. No wonder she could hardly move..." He said, aghast.

"Indeed. The accident broke almost every bone in her body, she was lucky to even be alive as far as I'm concerned. It was only after a six hour dip in the rejuvenation tank, that she could even move again..." Ritsuko grimly agreed/

Realising he may have dampened the evening, the meek young man decided to take himself away from the table and leave the adults in peace. That was what teacher had taught him to do.

"I've...got an assignment to do. I'll be in my room for a while." He took the card, stood, bowed, then walked off.

"Quite a shy young man isn't he?" Ritsuko murmured after his door shut.

"Yes...he struggles with new people. But I think when he vaguely knows someone it becomes easier for him." Misato agreed, then downed a quarter of a can.

"Still...he usually keeps to himself. I guess we know where Ayanami-san gets it from now." She chuckled quietly, whilst her friend of the past twelve years looked thoughtful.

"The Hedgehog's dilemma..." Ritsuko muttered.

"What's that?"

"Oh, the Hedgehog's dilemma. It's an old metaphor..." The faux blonde uncrossed her legs.

"A Hedgehog tries to get close to other Hedgehogs, so it can keep warm. But its spines, and the spines of the other Hedgehogs, can cause both parties to hurt each other."

Misato pondered those words for a moment.

"So he's afraid of getting hurt by other people?"

"In short, yes. And possibly he could be afraid of hurting others. But that's just guesswork on my part, I'm smart but I'm not a psychiatrist."

"So why does he get along with me?"

"Well, A, as you said, he somewhat knows you. Therefore it's easier for him to be in your company. And B, this is quite a confined space. He's literally had no choice but to socialise with you...how do you think we became friends?" Ritsuko laughed a little, as Misato explosively harrumphed.

"No choice? Everyone wants to socialise with me, Rits-chan..." She put a hand on her chest in a grandiose manner. The faux blonde rested her cheek upon her hand and shook her head slightly.

When the chuckling subsided, Misato's expression became a little more serious.

"What do you think about...sending him out there...against them?" She swirled her can around, having gone over this question many times before in her head.

"I...think we don't have an option, Misato-chan."

"Don't give me that, Rits-chan. I know we haven't got much of a choice...but...It surely isn't the right thing to do..."

Child soldiers, have, will, and always shall be unacceptable. I just hope after this war they'll never have to be used again... She mused.

"War is terrible. That's always been a fact. And we are at war, Misato-chan, make no mistake. The Seraphim will kill us all. The Evangelions are our only hope."

"Then we'll just have to kill them first." Misato scowled into her beer before letting her expression soften.

"Anyway, enough of that. What about the other Evas...when do they get here?" She downed some more beer. Whilst she was quite high up in NERV's command structure, she didn't know everything. Commander Ikari strictly controlled information, if you wanted to know something, you had to go to him.

Ritsuko nodded and leaned forward.

"The German High Seas fleet set sail some weeks ago, they'll be here on the 15th of July, or roundabouts. They've rendezvoused with the Imperial Navy's 5th fleet near the Falklands..."

"They should have joined them in the English channel. Unit 03 should have been in Leopard, not Buenos Aires!" The flames of Argentina, and the navy blue behemoth which stood in them, caused rage to burn within Misato's heart.

The thought of using an Evangelion on under equipped rebels, as a weapon of war against other men, was horrifying. The Evas were mankind's last hope against the threat of the Seraphim, not tools to secure its various tyrannies and Empires.

"They're the Empire, Misato-chan, they don't play fair. Which reminds me..." Ritsuko reached into her pockets, and produced a memory stick.

"On here is practically everything that isn't classified about the Fourth Child. I can tell you now, he's a Major in the Imperial Army, and he has absolutely no loyalty to NERV. Only to Britain and its Emperor." She handed the stick to Misato, whilst the mere thought of a Pilot whose allegiance was to something other than the organization which prevented the destruction of humanity, disturbed her.

Letting the superpowers build Evas was unwise. That much power in their hands...Spirits.

"Samuel Meadow...Asuka-chan talked about him every now and again. Spoke weirdly highly of him...by her standards." Misato dimly remembered rumblings about an "Imperial dummkopf."

"Really? Interesting...anyway, there is one more thing you should know..." Ritsuko's finger tapped the table.

"His father is Alexander Meadow."

The purplehead's expression fell into a look of fear.

"His father...is the conqueror of France? The supreme commander of the Imperial Army, second only to Emperor Vance himself in the chain of command? High Field Marshal Alexander Meadow, is the Fourth child's father?"

"Yes indeed. So...tread lightly with him alright? We provoke Alexander and we might as well be provoking Britain. Now, it's been good to see you for a while, but I've got to go. I'll see you at work." Ritsuko stood up and bowed her head, receiving one back from her hoast.

But before she could reach the door, Misato called out to her.

"Hey. So what's the big plan with Shinji-kun and Ayanami-san?"

"Come again?"

"Rits-chan you could have taken that card to Ayanami-san yourself. So why do you want Shinji-kun to do it?"

"I believe I've already said why. Now, if I may take my leave." Ritsuko put her put her key-card in the slot, then sighed.

"Fine...I think Ayanami-san should have a friend."

Misato didn't respond through sheer surprise, leading to the faux blonde successfully opening the door and leaving the apartment.

You want Shinji-kun to be that thing's friend?
---------------------------------
Meanwhile, within the recently christened Shinji's lovely suite, the room's occupant paced around, muttering to himself. Usually in times of stress, he would have his earphones in and be deaf to the world. But this was a little different.

"Hello, Ayanami-san, how are you? No, no, that's stupid..."

He kept trying to come up with a greeting that didn't sound strained, and consistently failed. He didn't want to get this wrong, so very badly. He wanted to be a friend at the least to all he had left of his mother.

Slumping down on his bed, Shinji clasped his hands together and closed his eyes in thought.

Do I just want to talk to her because she's a clone of mother? Because I think I might just get that sort of affection from her? How shallow...

As much as he tried, the boy simply failed to see Rei as her own person. He knew too little of her to see her as a person, not as an extension of his mother.

But I do want to know you...and I do want to help you... The words of "If I die I can be replaced" flashed painfully though his mind as tears welled up.

I hate you, father...I hate you, I hate you, I hate you...

Was that the other reason? He wanted to get her away from his father's influence so as to exact vengeance upon him? Horrifically, that possibility seemed just as likely as the other. He didn't want either to be true.

I suppose I'll just have to find out tomorrow. He inhaled then exhaled deeply, unclasping one of his hands and allowing it to clench.

"I'll see you tomorrow then...Ayanami-san."
 
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"His father is Alexander Meadow."
He probably won't mind reminding everyone of that fact every five sentences. :whistle:

"Fine...I think Rei should have a friend."

Misato didn't respond through sheer surprise, leading to Ritsuko successfully opening the door, and leaving the apartment.

You want Shinji to be that thing's friend?
o_O What the fuck, Misato? Unless there's something she knows that we don't, that wasn't very nice.
 
o_O What the fuck, Misato? Unless there's something she knows that we don't, that wasn't very nice.

Owing to cloning only popping into existence in the last decade, and Rei being the only one of her kind, there is still a lot of prejudice against the idea and the produce. As of 2017, a clone would be deemed unnatural, and just plain wrong. Hence the whole "never referring to one as a person" thing.

Because to Misato, and most of the world that knows, Rei is nothing more than an animated bag of flesh grown in a test tube, and will always be seen as a "thing" instead of a person, and "It" instead of "She."

I sometimes surprise myself with how bloody awful this world is.
 
"Still...he usually keeps to himself. I guess we know where Rei gets it from now." She chuckled quietly, whilst Ritsuko looked thoughtful.

"The Hedgehog's dilemma..." She murmured to herself.

Try to use less She/He/It and instead keep it as a single sentence; it would help a bit in terms of clarity.

"On here is practically everything that isn't classified about the 4th Child. I can tell you now, he's a Major in the Imperial Army, and he has absolutely no loyalty to NERV. Only to Britain and its Emperor." She handed the stick to Misato, whilst the mere thought of a Pilot whose allegiance was to something other than the organization which prevented the destruction of humanity, somewhat disturbed her.

Oh good lord. This world was a Crapsack, but to think Shinji is going to deal with those types...
 
Oh good lord. This world was a Crapsack, but to think Shinji is going to deal with those types...

He is going to be overexposed to some good old "wholesome" nationalism soon enough. Granted, he is something of a Patriot himself but he is nowhere near as fanatical as some of his soon to be comrades shall be...as if I put that poor boy through enough anyway.
 
Chapter 4.2
Right then ladies and gents, it's that time again!
---------------------------------------------------
8:00am, Friday the 30th of June, NERV quarters, eastern sector.

Slowly, he walked up the stairs within this ramshackle apartment complex, after attempting to use the long non-functioning lifts.

Is this where she lives?...I haven't seen any sign of life since I got here.

The place was desolate, and quiet as the grave. It seemed to have been inhabited some years ago, but now it was dilapidated and overshadowed by the modern apartment blocks being built around it.

He fought to control his breath and heartbeat as he arrived on the correct floor, and saw at the end of the corridor "apartment 100."

Well...he reckoned that's what it meant as the "one" had fallen off.

Gradually approaching it, Shinji started shaking. He both wanted, and didn't want to be there.

Gah! Just make your mind up already!

Regardless, he pushed on, reaching the door. The ajar and unlocked door...

Alarm bells rang in his head as he pushed it open, his now basic combat reflexes tensing. Had someone broken in? Why on earth would they do that?

He peeked his head through the open door, not seeing any signs of rummaging or theft. Then the shoddy quality of this place hit home.

Straight away, he walked into a cramped little kitchen covered in mess. It was clear Rei did her own cooking, as the remnants of meals lay all over the place. But unfortunately, it seemed she had little interest in cleaning up after herself.

The stench of rotting food being confirmation of this.

His nose shrivelling up from the smell, Shinji brought himself through the corridor which connected the dirty kitchen to what could be described in the most basic of terms as the bedroom.

Cracked windows, cracked walls, water leaking through the roof, and a ghastly draft blowing through the building, all made him cringe. It was also very cramped, with not much room to move around in. A desk was crammed in next to the bed, with the main room appearing to be some sort of hybrid between bedroom and study. A wardrobe made the space feel even more confined.

No lounge, not even a television. There was a closed door to the bathroom, and that was it.

Spirits...it's like a prison cell.

"Um...hello?" He called out.

No response.

Walking around the room a bit more, a horrid stench coming from the bed sheets told Shinji they hadn't been cleaned in a while. Then something on the desk caught his eye. He brought himself over to the wooden desk, and raised an eyebrow in confusion.

On that uninspired slab, were a pair of glasses. In dire need of repair, but glasses nonetheless. What drew his attention however, was he'd seen them before.

The last time he'd beheld this pair was on that platform oh so many years ago.

Behind these had resided uncaring eyes oh so similar to his own.

These were Gendo Ikari's glasses.

He stepped away, as if they were a cursed demonic chalice, long suppressed anger bubbling and boiling within him again. He could picture the cold blue staring down at him, with either apathy or disdain, as the voice which haunted his dreams commanded Rei to get in Unit 01 all those weeks ago, echoed throughout his memory.

Forcing back the tears and opening his clenched fist, Shinji inhaled and exhaled for a while, until the sound of a door handle being turned made him jump. Turning on the spot, he saw the bathroom door had now opened, Rei walking out of it. Clearly she'd been in the shower, a little part of his brain chastised. But as for the rest of it...

She was naked, everything exposed. Her breasts, her womanhood, everything.

He couldn't blink, move, or breath, as blood rose to his cheeks.

No, no, no, no, she is a clone of mother. You cannot find her attractive.

Rei cast her red eyes on him for a few moments, then made her way to the wardrobe. Opening the doors, she opened a draw and pulled out a bra, whilst Shinji looked on.

"How may I be of service Ikari?"

No honourifics? That's a bit strange.

"Oh, um, Ayanami-san...I...I'm so sorry I didn't know you were...t-the door was open..." He spun around, averting his gaze to her privacy.

"What are you sorry for?" She slipped on some underwear, causing him to feel a little less uncomfortable.

"Um...I..." His words died in his throat, as he realised she hadn't been bothered by him seeing her naked. Eventually finding the words he needed, the mousey haired boy finally spoke.

"Your old security card is out of date, I-I-I've brought you a new one-" The sudden sound of a door closing caused Shinji to turn round, seeing Rei had gone.

The glasses with her.

"H-H-Hey! Hold on!"
-----------------------------
She could walk quickly, as he was panting by the time he caught up with her. Rei kept facing straight ahead as they walked through the early morning streets of Tokyo-3, the mid summer heat glaring down on them.

In his eyes, she seemed to be annoyed with him. Why else would she just walk straight out of that room, totally ignoring him?

"Hey...I'm sorry if I upset you. I just have to-"

"There is nothing to be sorry for. I must get to school on time, as do you." She said nonchalantly.

"Oh...I see..."

I barge into her home uninvited, see her naked, ogle at her for a while, and she doesn't even blink? And she's a clone of my mother!

Whilst mulling over this again and again, he managed to completely forget why he'd gone there in the first place. So, after getting on the train which would take them to Sengokuhara high's vicinity, the card remained in his bag, completely unremembered.

It was a reasonably empty train, not as barren as the one he'd come here on all those weeks ago, but there was no shortage of spare seats. So he'd decided to sit close to her, but not too close.

The journey was a silent one, as Shinji didn't have the courage to speak to her. This was worsened by Rei seeming to have a total lack of interest in his very existence.

Although, this wasn't quite true...

Why does he sit so close to me? The albino murmured in her subconscious, fully aware of the boy who was her progenitor's son.

I am replaceable...I do not matter...my only purpose is to serve Commander Ikari's scenario. So why does he... For a few moments, she cast her gaze upon the young man, before quickly turning back before he could notice.

Seem to care?

She pondered this for a while, as far as someone like Rei can. And during this, a memory of her first actual conversation with "Pilot Ikari" came to mind.

"I guess that makes you my Sister."

Is that why? Because he sees me as...


And then another word came to her, one almost incomprehensible to her.

Family?
----------------------------
9:25am, Sengokuhara high school.

Shinji was to have a very busy day. First, he'd had to get up earlier than usual to bring Rei her...damn it! He chastised himself over his forgetfulness. He'd have to attend to that after lessons.

After said lessons, it was straight to NERV for some synch tests, which would take a few hours, then it was back home to do...whatever. Be teased by Misato, commanded by Pen-Pen, perhaps watch the news, sample his guardian's appalling cooking, or cook for himself. Now though, he'd another history lesson to ease himself into.

They were still covering the Empire, but now the emphasis was being placed upon the war that changed it into the superpower the world knew today.

The Federal-Imperial War.

On the class monitor, a short film was being shown. The black Federal eagle was proudly emblazoned at the heart of a white shield upon a black cross on a grey background. A quick bit of the Federal anthem "Federation without limit" was played before it transitioned to an image of a sandy brown haired man in his late thirties, wearing a black trench coat, grey armband, and peaked cap.

Behind him stood the members of his government. The surrounding scenery appeared to be that of a great mountain range.

"Today...marks the end of the Empire. The end of a regime that allows aristocratic squabbling, pomposity, and disorder to thrive." The man began, in a rasping voice.

"As we speak, in a place far from here, the Great British Empire lies to the world, whilst secretly attempting to usurp our ordained position as the earth's rightful and only master. We the superior race of America, shall not tolerate this!" The camera panned around him, to show the many tens of thousands of Federal Guard standing before him, a dozen or so primed and ready to fire nuclear missiles poking out of the ground behind them.

"These fine weapons which stand behind you, weapons that safeguard our great nation, shall bring an end to their Parliament, to their London, to their cherished Monarchy. Every single last remaining Imperial subject will bow to the Federation, and they will remember this moment, the 15th of July 2005, as the very last breath of their wretched Empire!"

Princeps Henry Abrams punched his fist in the air, and bellowed the classic cry of "Foederatio sine fine!" His voice was soon joined by tens of thousands of others, in a display of nationalism that made Shinji's blood run cold.

Patriotism was one thing...but this? The man was jubilating in the coming slaughter of five million innocent people. A few million less than that of Tokyo-2, but still something awful. In short, this speech was every bit as disturbing as that of President Dong Wang when he declared victory pre-emptively in the Pacific War some twelve years ago, the unending screams of "Qi Lai" still tormenting the dreams of many Japanese.

The screen went dark, and Mr Sisata walked in front of it.

"Well, having seen that, can anyone further explain the North American Federation's ideological reasons for war with the Great British Empire?"

His gaze flickered over the classroom, as Hikari raised her hand. Gaining a nod of acceptance from the teacher, she stood and composed herself.

"It is in accordance with the Federation's ideology of manifest destiny that they be the soul masters of the Earth, as they see themselves as the superior race. Also, such a system as that of a hereditary monarchy and a noble class, would seem outdated, bloated, and inferior to them. Hence why to this day they hold the Empire in such contempt."

"Once again, well done, Horaki-san." Sisata smiled, before addressing his entire class.

"What about personal reasons? Why would Princeps Abrams, one of the most shrewd politicians of our age, go to war with Britain?" There was a bit of quiet, until a hand at the back of the class was raised.

"Ah, Kirishima-san. Enlighten us."

Mana Kirishima managed a smile before standing up.

"Because he is total lunatic?" This elicited a few chuckled around the class, with Mr Sisata shaking his head.

"Not quite the answer I was looking for, but somewhat correct." He then pointed a beckoning finger at Toji, who'd raised his own hand.

"Suzuhara-san? Care to elaborate?"

The jock cleared his throat.

"The way I see it, Abrams and his regime are like bullies. He liked the power he and his country had, and was probably terrified by the thought of another bully coming into his playground. At least, that's as far as I can tell."

Sisata smiled approvingly, whilst some of the newer students looked confused. For only the few who really knew Toji, were familiar with the intelligent and perceptive young man hidden underneath all the muscles and jock facade.

"Very good, Suzuhara-san. It seems you do pay attention sometimes." The old man turned back to the board and began to tell his class what page of their books they needed to turn to, but Shinji wasn't paying attention. For he was occasionally snatching looks at Rei, wondering once again how on Earth he was going to try and communicate with her, not at all helped by the nagging thought at the back of his mind, telling him she didn't enjoy his company.

And that was a scary thought.

Please...don't reject me as well...
--------------------------
11:50am, cafeteria

"Hey, is it okay if we sit with you?" Kensuke's words caused him to blink. Having been fixated on Rei who sat all by herself on the other side of the cafeteria, he'd failed to notice the two boys who awkwardly stood by his side.

"Um...yes, of course." He forced a smile, and budged over a little, allowing them to lay their trays down.

"So how are you holding up?" The jock said.

"I'm alright." Shinji mumbled as his gaze fell upon Rei again.

She doesn't act very lonely...so why does it feel like she is?

"Oh I see." Kensuke had a coy smile on his lips.

"What?"

"You're ogling at Ayanami-san aren't you?" Toji chuckled, whilst Shinji's face contorted into a blushing horror.

"No!"

"I think we've embarrassed him, Toji-san." The geek laughed.

"Oh don't worry, Ikari-san, you're not the first to take a liking to her, and you won't be the last. She does have some nice breasts." The jock's words made the bottom of Shinji's stomach contort.

"No...it...it isn't like that...at all. I was just wondering why she always sits by herself..."

"Huh, that's usual behaviour for Ayanami-san. It's not like she tells people to go away or anything...it's just awkward around her. Like she...doesn't know what to do with other human beings." Kensuke cast a thoughtful gaze at Rei, before turning back to Shinji.

"I don't think she likes me very much..." The mousey haired boy took a bite out of his home made sandwich.

"Did she hit you or something?"

"No. She just...ignores me."

"Then she doesn't mind you. Ayanami-san is distant with people to begin with, and she hasn't got or had any friends here, at least not as long as we've known her. It's probably nothing to do with you." Toji patted him on the shoulder.

"Yeah, she hardly even smiles." Kensuke readjusted in glasses in thought as he himself struggled to remember whenever Rei has used her lips for something other than talking or eating.

"Well there was that one time you did the Nettle Olympics..." The jock's lips pressed into a smile.

"I thought we agreed not to talk about that."

"Nettle Olympics?" Shinji raised his eyebrow.

"Oh of course you haven't been here long. Right, the Nettle Olympics are a time honoured tradition at this school, where young men, to prove their metal, jump into the stinging nettle bush at the bottom of the sports field. In only their underwear." Toji leaned forward, utmost enthusiasm in his eyes.

"That's insane!"

"And fucking hilarious."

"Stupid people with higher pain thresholds..." Kensuke mumbled, causing Shinji's dropped jaw to turn into a genuine smile, then a quiet laugh, his thoughts just for that moment in time being taken away from the pale girl sitting in the corner.
--------------------------------
12:00am, NERV, entrance point 1.

Rei slid her card into the ID slot, a swift beep and a flashing of a red "X" mark following in swift succession.

She tried again, being met with the same symbol and sound.

"Hey." Shinji's voice caused her to turn round, seeing him standing a behind her with a card in his hand.

"Your security clearance expired. I've got your new card here." He nervously handed the rectangle of plastic to her.

She took the card straight out of his hands, slid it through the machine, and walked on regardless, leaving him standing there for a few moments in surprise before he slid his own card through the machine and hurried on after her. Once again, he struggled to keep pace with the bluehead, only catching up on the escalator which took them down to the Evangelion cages. They stood in awkward silence for a while, Shinji desperately trying to think of something to say.

What the hell can I talk to her about? I don't even have the excuse of giving her the security card anymore so...gah damn it! Think, think, think!

And then, finally, a thought did come.

What about the Evas? We're both Pilots so...maybe we can talk about that? She is doing an activation test today after all.

"So..."

Rei said nothing.

"I heard about your accident in Unit 00 the other day. Aren't you scared about going back in there?"

"No."

"How?" He said in a thunderstruck tone. He was scared enough about getting back into Unit 01, and that hadn't even tried to kill him yet.

"It is what I am ordered to do."

"Ordered...you can't just let him tell you what to do all your life." He had to try very hard not to let his voice turn into a growl over merely thinking of his father.

"He is the commander. I must obey."

"Just because he's the commander doesn't mean he's always right."

"Do you not trust your father?"

Her question hung in the air.

"No of course not!" Shinji snarled by accident, his anger exploding forth. Quickly getting his temper back under control through the clenching of his fist, he managed to continue.

And even then there was a hint of hostility.

"That old bastard can rot in hell for all I care, especially after what he did to me."

His mind took him back to that train platform twelve years ago. A holiday was what father had called it...a holiday to last a very long time. A holiday that resulted in himself being dumped on that platform with someone he barely knew, his father's back disappearing before him.

This was the event which snatched away any chance four year old Shinji could have ever had at a normal life.

I can not, and will not trust him. Not ever again.

All of a sudden, Rei turned round and moved to well within his personal space, her red eyes flashing with some sort of anger. The palm of her right hand impacted his cheek, leaving a bruise there.

As he stared at her in shock, she returned to her original position, and said nothing else for the rest of the journey.

It took five minutes for the escalator to reach the bottom, leaving Shinji to ponder just how vast NERV central was, whilst simultaneously resisting the urge to yell and froth at the mouth with rage.

How!? How can you trust him!? Why would you defend him!?

His fist clenched and unclenched, as he limply stared into his shoes, not giving away the fact he was furious. Even if he'd failed in that task however, Rei would not have been bothered. She wasn't bothered by much to begin with.

Arriving at the bottom, the pair quickly walked through the labyrinth of corridors which would take them to NERV's cages where their respective Evangelion Units were held.

Arriving at the point where they would have to split off into changing rooms, he sighed, then raised his gaze.

"Um...Ayanami-san?" He said timidly, causing the blue haired girl in question to stop for a moment.

She was listening.

If you feel that way about father, then I'll keep my thoughts to myself.

"I'm sorry if I offended you earlier. I just don't get along with my father..." He forced out, only to be surprised when Rei's whisper of a voice responded.

"Very well. I shall approach the subject with greater caution in future."

Shinji's eyes widened in shock, frozen there as the thought of she listened to me rolled through his head again and again.

He quickly had to snap himself out of it, as she'd started walking off again. For he did have one last thing to say.

"Hey...just...take care of yourself alright."

She quickly cast her gaze upon him. Were Shinji any good at reading people, he may well have seen a flash of curiosity in those red eyes. But with himself being himself, he did not.

He did however grasp Rei actually looking him in the eye was a signal of something important.

Before she continued on her way, she gave a slight nod. It wasn't much, but even he could see it, provoking a nervous yet genuine smile from him, and a nod in return.

And then, before he could think of anything else to say, the bluehead had disappeared around the corridor corner, quietly pondering the words this strange boy had said to her again.

Why do you care?
--------------------------------------
Well, I hope I'm getting Rei's character right, but it is both easy and difficult to get inside the head of someone like her. But eh, I can only do my best.

Anyways, final segment of this chapter comes tomorrow. Then next week, we have randomly screaming beam spam diamond to deal with, and upon that chapter's completion I will have Sovereignty's first arc finished.

Until next time my dear readers. :)
 
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