Happy 6th Anniversary, Alchemical Solutions!
In celebration, here's something... different.
Omake 01: Glorious Scientific Problems
Blinking in the darkness, you breathe a sigh of relief. What was that, four times you blacked out from… whatever the hell was going on with your senses? At least it seems to have stopped for the moment. That you can breathe at all is another pleasant surprise - you don't detect any more smells…
Terror overwhelms your strange bout of Clarity as you try to flail your limbs in hopes that someone will hear the noise and come to your rescue before you pass out again. Unfortunately, you no longer seem to have limbs. Or a body. How did you sigh before, then? What's going on? Is this a dream?
MOST CERTAINLY!
The single tick of a watch's second-hand. Dozens of ball bearings tumbling along with the barest of friction. Hundreds of hammers shaping white-hot metal. Thousands of conveyor belts trickling down an assembly line. Millions of gears seamlessly twisting in perfect harmony. Billions of unfathomably complex machines genuflecting in prayer to their creator and master. The voice that washes over your mind is all these things at once, and more. You are overwhelmed but not terrified, for even though your brain struggles to comprehend the concepts that comprise the voice, you recognize a tone of… manic exuberance?
"Wha-? What's going on? Who are you?" You blurt out. How are you even talking, let alone thinking straight after what you've just been through? You simultaneously want to cheer in elation for being out of the locker, wretch in disgust at the recollection of the event, and wail in despair that you may now be in an even worse situation.
WELL, YO- *ahem* you blacked out after filling those weak, fleshy respiratory organs of yours with biologically hazardous vapors. Again!
The voice is overwhelming in its power, tossing you about like a broken-winged bird through a swirling hurricane. With no point of reference in this black, empty void, you struggle to keep conscious as the pressure ebbs and flows with each word.
Of course, I completely understand what you're going through! It's like those times Theion… oh. Hmm. No, I don't think your mind could handle that imagery right now.
A pause, but with each word you're either getting better at handling the power washing over you, or the voice is... weakening, somehow.
So... right! Yes! Good news! You're dying! Welcome to the club!
As overpowering the sensations and odd... feelings… that course through you with every word are, it still takes a moment to process the meaning of the words burrowing their way into your mind. When you finally do, however, the titanic presence around you seems meaningless in the face of the shock:
You are dying. Sophia, Madison, Emma… they've killed you.
You never antagonized them, you never attacked them, you never even retaliated, yet they've only gotten worse and worse for no. Fucking. Reason. You've not given much thought towards what you want to do with your life, but now... now you refuse to let it be wasted so pointlessly.
Clarity washes over your mind. Cold. Efficient. Ruthless.
"No."
The name-calling. The pranks. The locker. The bugs. These are trivial nuisances.
"If I die, they win."
Emma, the Betrayer. Sophia, the Instigator. Madison, the Cover. Only relevant as examples of how far Order has fallen, to allow such behavior.
"I will not die."
The other kids that did nothing. The teachers that looked away. The legal system that would undoubtedly fail to find evidence to convict them of your murder. Systemic corruption that must be purged if there is to be Order.
"They will never win."
There is silence, the as if you have somehow taken the massive presence filling the universe around you by surprise.
Well… that's… certainly one way- oh, I knew I should have used the Core to do this! Now where did I put that-
The face of your grim determination is suddenly assaulted by an almighty clamor, as if someone has just opened a celestial-sized tool cabinet only for the contents of it to come spilling out everywhere. The overwhelming presence recedes slightly as you feel it searching for something.
Then, just as suddenly, the chaotic sound of clashing mechanisms halts and the presence returns full-force.
Right! Now! This will only hurt for less than a second!
"Wha-"
***
Your eyes snap open in the coffin of filth that is your locker but there is a burst of light in front of your face as something slams into your forehead and then there is nothing in the Universe but PAIN.
***
A light breaks over the empty horizon; a light of burnished brass, shining silver, and gleaming gold. The planet rises slowly, a clockwork sphere of inescapable beauty, wonder, and potential.
Oceans of shimmering oil, clouds of billowing steam and wispy smoke, forests of radiant crystal, all parts of an incomprehensibly massive, mechanical world.
The majesty of which is completely ruined when it opens like an enormous, gear-studded eye and blinks at you vacantly.
OH! You're awake already? You're ahead of schedule!
The eye of the Deus Machina swivels slightly and the enormous iris of the Primordial focuses on your formless being, driving all conscious thought from your mind.
I had this fantastic, ominous- I mean inspiring speech written up for you, too! How are you even conscious after assimilating all those other-… oh. Hmmmmm…
Narrowing its lid as it studies your bodiless existence, its planet-sized scrutiny evokes a feeling of all the times you didn't have a homework assignment to turn in on the due date.
There's… only one of you in there?
For a brief moment, a flash of concern fills the eye… but just as quickly the eye's lower lid stretches up in the approximation of a massive eye-smile.
I mean- Of course there is! No cause for concern, my Chosen! I'm sure that won't cause any issues with compatibility! And we can just patch any problems later on through the Design!
Your mind, still reeling from the divine power hammering at your fragile, wavering soul, manages to crystalize around a single thought. A single word.
A word that your bodiless consciousness projects into the empty void around you:
"What."
The planet-sized oculus narrows its lids in an approximation of a scowl before the eye itself briefly rolls backwards in exasperation.
Mmmh. Irreverence. This is what I get for rushing such a delicate project. Not to mention your reality is simply too pale and weak to have prepared you for My magnificence. Sadly, we don't have the luxury of leaving anything unclear right now and soul-injected visions have a tendency to be taken far too... metaphorically.
There's a pause as the voice seems to shudder with distaste at that last word, then the empty void around you fills with the thrumming hum of a continent of machinery running calculations. After a few seconds of this, it all stops with the sudden DING of a typewriter reaching its end-of-line.
Ah, of course! Why didn't I just start with that!? Nevermind-
The massive eye swivels back to focus on you, and for the briefest of moments you see the infinite, mechanical tapestry of the world-body come to a stuttering halt.
Initiating transfer… NOW!
Pressure, pain, and vertigo all assault you at once as your senses feel compacted-
***
You open your eyes.
You are in your locker.
You are in your empty locker.
Not just empty. Clean. You're not sensing bugs (though you're not sure why you remember that), either. You do get a whiff of an industrial cleaner, though from the strength of the smell they either had to use significantly less than you would have expected or that the smell has had time to dissipate.
You're not quite certain how they would have gone about cleaning the damn thing with you still in it, so there's definitely something strange going…
…a clockwork sphere of inescapable beauty…
Your feeling of rejuvenation and mental Clarity sinks sinks into the floor as you realize you likely have had a psychotic break. You've read about this before - trauma victims returning to the scene of the tragedy in fugue states.
Well, at least the locker door is open. Ah, and it's night time as well. You step over the small little mess of flowers that your door scattered everywhere, then-...
The feeling of pressure and vertigo rushes back in a wave, but this time it coincides with ominous, vibrating hum of industrial machinery working in the far, far distance. You scrunch your eyes closed and hold your head as it feels like it's splitting in half, taking a half-step to the side as it feels like this is all coming from behind you-
With the thundering crack of a million circuit breakers all overloading at once, you're bowled over as something rockets out of your locker and plows into you hard enough to carry you the several feet needed to slam you straight into the lockers opposite your own. You bounce off the row of lockers with a shattering crunch of old and rusted metal, then crumple to the hard, cold, tiled floor.
The headache and nausea vanish almost a quickly as it returned, bringing with it a Clarity that is shocking in its suddenness. You blink in surprise at how… good you feel? What-
Ugh.
You freeze. There's no way you could forget that… voice, even if it's not battering your soul with every syllable. And now it's not coming from everywhere and nowhere all at once, it's coming from...
Looking down to the basketball-sized lump of metal that probably should have broken most of your bones with how hard it hit you, even in the pitch darkness of the nighttime school hallway you see the glimmer of brass and gold and other expensive metals coating the ball with impossible filigree.
And then it shifts in your arms, a seam erupting halfway across it that splits open to reveal the entire thing as a large mechanical eye. The camera-shutter-like iris takes a few moments to focus on you, slowly gaining a golden glow as the entire mechanical orb seems to come alive at the same time.
Ah, it grunts, squinting in a way that makes you think it's nodding in satisfaction at you. You didn't explode upon re-entry. And your personal reality isn't causing a cascading fault through this reality. Excellent.
You stare back and swallow uneasily as you try to understand that.
"... what-?" you try to begin, before a bracing gust of cold air on your skin makes you shiver… all… over…
You leap to your feet, chucking the talking orb away in violent shame because this is much more important.
"My- my clothes! What happened to-"
Trying to cover yourself finds skin of a much different smoothness and texture, and far more… you than you last remembered. You look down again, and for the first time actually recognize that this is not your old body.
"What's going on?! What-"
This is not your old voice.
You spin around to where you tossed the talking metal ball, only to find it floating in the air a few feet away. It regards you with a mixture of approval and scientific curiosity that makes you immediately suspect that this... all of this... is all its fault.
"You! Did you- what did you do to me?!"
The corners of the eye's lid twist upward in a way to make it seem like it's smiling benevolently at you.
Fear not, My child! For you have been Chosen! By ME!
A dread feeling coalesces in your gut as all the lessons given by your schools, your teachers, your parents, and the PRT echo in your mind about crazy capes. Except it's not fear you're feeling… no...
You're done being afraid. You're done being weak. A victim.
"... and who are you?"
As if it had been waiting for that question all along, the eye beams.
I.
Literally. White-and-gold strobe lights and lasers cascading out of its shell to give it a godly, halo-like aura.
AM.
The lightshow reaches its crescendo along with a crackling of electricity running along the ball's exterior, giving it an air of power and majesty.
AUTOCHTHON!
The world shudders at the declaration for a moment, before the sound fades and the world seems lesser for it.
Never before have you seen a basketball-sized mechanical eyeball look so smug.
So you punch it.
***