The Epic Invasion of the Kathraxian empire!
or
Some Aliens in an Alternate Universe Watch TV!
Deep within the bowls of space the dreaded Kathraxian Annihilation Vanguard (K.A.V for short) lay waiting for orders from forward commander Haydrax, then they would begin the invasion of the pitiful little green/blue rock called H9F-94D/X-03.
Unfortunately for them, they were going to be waiting for a long time.
*K.A.V, forward commanders office*
Haydrax the Somewhat Frightening (he was still waiting on that promotion to 'The Dreaded), sat ominously in his command chair as he waited for his second in-command to ask what he was doing.
Any second now...
Any second now...
…What was taking him so-
"Sir, what are you doing?" At last!
"I am observing the data recovered from our preliminary scans of the little dirt rock we plan to invade." Haydrax the Somewhat Frightening proclaimed. "While doing so my most excellent intellect allowed me to notice a disturbing trend!" He gestured to the computer screen.
"The inhabitancy of this planet have faced invasion from intragalactic empires like ourselves before, and they were so successful that they have created 'Alien invasion movies' to be distributed among the population as propaganda. With how many of these 'Alien movies' the computer has detected this planet must have fought off invasions like ours a dozen times before!" Haydrax waved three arms around dramatically to emphasise his point.
"That is very bad sir." The second in command said. "Perhaps we should return the K.A.V to the rest of the fleet and inform them of this discovery?"
"NEVER!" Haydax yelled, his foot slamming against the metallic floor of the ship as he did so. "I will make the people of this planet rue the day I, Haydrax the Somewhat Frightening laid eye's on it! No, instead of your pitifully idiotic plan we shall plan our invasion by watching these 'Alien movies'. Once we know how our enemy fight our victory shall be inevitable!" Not waiting for his second in command to respond, Haydrax turned to the command panel and questioned in his most dramatic booming voice.
"Computer! How many 'movies' do you still have to scan and upload from H9F-94D/X-03?" He had to wait a few seconds before the machine replied, seconds which he spent letting his black and red cape flap dramatically behind him.
"Time till task completion is: ERROR 114 (Task time constantly increasing.)" The computer outputted audibly.
"WHAT!? Computer why?" Haydrax screamed at the machine while pointing at it with his third arm while the other two shook with rage.
"The amount of [TARGET DESIGNATION 'movies'] on H9F-94D/X-03 is a constantly increasing variable, completion time cannot be estimated."
"How can that be..." Haydrax began pacing around the room while muttering to himself, until an idea struck him. "Computer, are you recording the data from every single 'movie' in a physical storage device on H9F-94D/X-03, even if you already have the data from the same 'movie' from a different storage device?"
"Correct commander." The computer responded immediately.
"THEN STOP DOING THAT AT ONCE! With how many 'movies' this planet has that task would take forever!"
"ERROR 371 (Cannot halt process until task completion)." The computers proclamation was met with complete silence for only a few seconds, until...
"SON OF A GOBSRAK!"
Thus the invasion of earth by the K.A.V was massively delayed by the power of alien invasion movies.
I really don't wanna know these things.
