2. The more things change...
- Location
- Somewhere in the stacks
- Pronouns
- She/Her
[X] A roommate (or roommates)
--[X] Kaname Tendou, your new friend: A young woman whom you met in freshmen year and has been a constant companion since then. She shares your love of cheesy horror movies and anime, though she's in an engineering program instead of your social sciences. As far as you can tell she's straight, but has never shown an interest in dating anyone. When it's come up, she mostly says that it sounds like too much trouble.
Number of voters: 22
[X] Just your average neighborhood gay: You're not loud and proud, really, but you're not one to hide either. You tell people if they ask but you don't go around volunteering the information if people don't need to know. It's your business, not theirs.
Number of voters: 22
[X] Anthropology
Number of voters: 19
--[X] Kaname Tendou, your new friend: A young woman whom you met in freshmen year and has been a constant companion since then. She shares your love of cheesy horror movies and anime, though she's in an engineering program instead of your social sciences. As far as you can tell she's straight, but has never shown an interest in dating anyone. When it's come up, she mostly says that it sounds like too much trouble.
Number of voters: 22
[X] Just your average neighborhood gay: You're not loud and proud, really, but you're not one to hide either. You tell people if they ask but you don't go around volunteering the information if people don't need to know. It's your business, not theirs.
Number of voters: 22
[X] Anthropology
Number of voters: 19
You're dreaming. You feel like you've done a lot more of that since the break up. Maybe you just notice it more for some reason. It's one of your stupid stress dreams. You're back in high school trying to get to class on time for the most important test of your life (on something, but you can never remember what) and the door the classroom only seems to get farther and farther away the faster and harder you run. It's like being a slope that's slowly tilting farther and farther upward, like a see-saw or the deck of a sinking ship. As you reach out to grab the door frame, Erika is there, looking at you with the same hurt and anger in her eyes that you'd seen the last time you'd talked to her.
"No second chances." The only words you can remember from the dream as she pries your fingers away from the door frame and sends you tumbling down the slope of the impossibly long school hallway. You're tumbling faster and faster and faster and--
You sit up in your bed with a jolt and a gasp, chest heaving, and look around the dimly lit room. Autumnal sunlight filters through the cracks of your shades. Clothes and textbooks are piled around the room in haphazard lumps (you kind of stopped caring six months ago) and you can hear someone bumping around in the kitchen through the slightly cracked doorway. Tumbling out of bed, you slide open your bedroom door and then stumble out of your room and across the dining room-slash-kitchen to the bathroom you share with Kaname. Speaking of Kaname, she seems to be working on breakfast at the moment. She glances up as as you stumble by and she smiles.
.Obviously they don't necessarily have all the furnishings listed here, but it fits the mental image I have.
"Good morning, Hanako." Kaname is tall, slender young woman (human) who always seems to be well put together, which is kind of infuriating sometimes because you feel like you constantly look like a hot mess. Long, dark brown hair, perfectly poised makeup (at 7 AM! Who does that at 7 AM?) and though she thinks she looks kind of like a stick with arms and legs, you find her willowy build just as attractive as any other girl, though you keep quiet on that unless she asks because you don't want her to feel uncomfortable. Honestly if you didn't know better, you'd have no idea she was a complete nerd like you.
"...Morning," you mumble, ignoring the fact that you're still in your underwear, and head into the bathroom to take care of your business. A few minutes later, you're standing at the sink, splashing cold water on your face to get yourself woken up for the day. You look at yourself in the mirror, smile, then do a couple stretches to get a better look at yourself. You're not sure Hanako in high school would recognize Hanako in university, honestly.
You'd really loved the strawberry blonde color that you had dyed your fur on your ears and tail in high school and once you graduated it had turned into your whole head of hair, which was cut shorter than before. Not like, boy short but more like the nape of your neck--taking care of hair that went all the way down your back was a pain. And expensive when it came to dying it, even if you usually did it yourself. You're also not as slender as you used to be--not chubby but it seems like an inevitable fate to put on a little weight after getting out of high school--you keep telling yourself you were going to start working out again but never seemed to find the time. Still, you look good! Yeah! You flex and pull a face in the mirror before you grab your brush and comb and get to work on your hair. Darker roots are just starting to show. Almost time for another visit to the salon. Or at least the cosmetics store.
You finally head back out into the kitchen and plop down at the table, still in your sleep shirt and not much else and stifle a yawn as Kaname sets a cup of coffee in front of you. Thank God for Kaname, really.
"...Did you not sleep well again?" She asks with a touch of concern.
"No," you admit with a groan as you take a sip of coffee. "I keep having that stupid nightmare. Not like every night, but it keeps coming back."
"You're just stressed out about your class load. And I'm prettttty sure that the breakup is still getting to you." Kaname looks at you with a serious expression as she sets a plate down with a couple eggs and a piece of toast. Seriously, thank God for Kaname. She loves cooking and taking care of people but has no apparent interest in dating--so for now you don't have to worry about some guy taking her away from you and leaving you to fend for yourself when it comes to waking up in the morning.
"Ugh. It was six months ago. I'm over it," you reply sharply as you set to digging into your breakfast.
"Mmhm," comes the reply as Kaname sips her coffee."Are you sure?"
"I thought you were an engineering student, not a psych student," you retort and she laughs.
"Okay, okay. I'll leave it alone. Just saying, you should probably get your head figured out--senior exams are gonna sneak up on us, watch."
"Ugh..." You shake her head. "Don't remind me. I still need to decide if I want to apply to graduate school..."
"You'll figure it out." Breakfast seems to have vanished while you weren't thinking about it and you stand and wash your dishes in the sink. Kaname follows suit and then ducks into the bathroom to brush her teeth. By the time you emerge with actual clothes on, she's already tugging her shoes on at the genkan.
"I've gotta get to class. Also I'm going to be out tonight--study session with some of my classmates. So don't wait up." You purse your lips and nod. Instant noodles for dinner then? Or maybe you'll just get something at the convenience store on the way home from.
"I'm leaving," Kaname says as she opens the door and gives a waggle of her fingers.
"Have a safe trip," you respond automatically and then head off to do the rest of your morning routine. Which basically means brushing your teeth and having an internal argument about putting on make up. Usually make up wins but today you just feel tired, so you only bother with some concealer under your eyes to take out the worst of any dark circles, then grab your messenger bag with your books and head out the door, scarf fluttering in the autumn breeze. Thankfully, the two of you found a cheap(ish) apartment in walking distance to campus. Something you could afford with a part time job and a stipend from mom and dad. it means you don't have to deal with the train, which is kind of a relief. You hunch down into your scarf as much as you can, shivering a little as the cool breeze cuts into your cheeks. Ugh. Cold.
Your morning classes go by kind of in a blur--the only proof you have that you were there is the pages and pages of notes you can flip through in your notebooks. As you sit at lunch going over notes, your phone dings quietly to remind you to look at your calendar--today is the meeting day, which you'd totally spaced about. Well, that's what smartphones are for, isn't it? Maybe you'll skip going home after class and just go straight there... Hm. You'll figure it out, right? The afternoon classes feel much the same as the morning. Mildly interesting and you pay enough attention to take notes, but it feels like whatever you were supposed to be learning goes into one ear and out the other by the time you get out of classes in the early evening. Ugh. Tucking your notebooks away again, you turn and meander off towards the station to catch your train--it'll be a late night for you, too. Kinda. Usually you just go right home after class to do homework or occasionally get hauled out to get a beer by some classmates. But not tonight!
The train ride is familiar, though you find yourself squishing into your seat a little more than usual. It's crowded at you don't like how close some of the guys can get when standing. It feels weird--you're sure they do it on purpose. Thankfully it's a short a trip and you're back to walking again in no time. You breeze past fashionable shop windows, school kids chattering to each other over hot drinks, and finally turn off the main street to a little side door--familiar and warm in a way that makes your heart sing. You step inside, put your shoes in a cubby, then head past the small front desk area with a wave and a smile.
"Hoi, Susu-chan," you say with a grin, waving at the young man sitting at reception. "Good to see you."
He rolls his eyes.
"Just call me Susumu like a normal person, Hana-chan..."
"No way, if I get a diminutive, you get a diminutive, Susu-chan~!" You wink and then move bye and into the meeting room. Cozy, familiar... A little strange to remember all the revelations you had in this space. And all the names and faces that have passed through. Live Out Loud--the youth organization that had helped you come to terms with your own queerness what felt like a lifetime ago. Of course, when you graduated high school, you weren't about to stop going, so you'd volunteered your time to Sayaka, which had turned into a part time job--you helped run the reception on the weekends, ran a support group meeting every couple weeks. You're glad for it tonight, especially. It'll get your mind off the weird shit that it's been doing lately. Sayaka Hakozaki, the lead councilor who really runs things around here, is already in the room organizing chairs and making sure the room is straightened up. She's a few years older than you--she'd been in her twenties when you were in high school, now she's close to thirty but not showing any sign of giving up on her project. She brightens immediately when walk into the room.
"Hanako! Good to see you, as usual."
"Hey, when was the last time I missed a meeting? I think it was the week before entrance exams when I was in high school," you quip, grinning as you set your stuff down and get comfortable.
"How's school going, speaking of studying?"
"Uh. S'fine, I guess? It's kind of a slog, honestly But it's the path I chose. Yay Hanako." You short and lean back to run your hands through your hair.
"It feels like that, especially as you get closer to the end. So don't give up!" You smile at her encouragement.
"I won't, don't worry." Then the meeting is almost upon you and the first kids starting filtering in. They're all between thirteen and eighteen for the most part. High schoolers and middle schoolers dealing with the awful, confusing time of their life where they're supposed to figure themselves out. Speaking form personal experience, you know it isn't easy. There are still a few familiar faces that you remember, though most if not all of the people who were int eh group when you were there have moved on. Maki (looking as grumpy as ever and wearing his hair as close cut as he can) and Yuu (looking beautiful and really blossoming into herself) are two of those who you counted among your friends at the time, especially Yuu. They were in middle school then and now they're in the last year of high school. Weird how time flies.
You wave at the both as they enter. The two trans kids are inseparable friends, and you're pretty sure Maki has fought more than a few bigger, larger kids on Yuu's behalf. You wave at them, are greeted in return, but there's no time for a lengthy conversation.
The meeting goes about as normal. Introductions from everyone if there are new people, then simply talking about issues that people are dealing with, breaking into smaller groups if needed... It's calm and quiet and laid back, a place where you can let your hair down to to speak. You know it helped you a lot at that age just to have a space where it was okay to ask yourself questions. After the meeting, you head into the rec room to supervise anyone who hangs out afterwards, which means setting up your laptop and doing homework while making sure no one breaks anything.
Then the train home. You end up picking up a convenience store dinner, which you devour in front of the TV, and then collapse into bed, ready for another night of rest. Again, your sleep is disturbed but if it's because of a bad dream, you're not sure. All you know is that you wake up well before your alarm and it's still dark out as you begin another day at the grind. Another day in class. Lunch is shaping up to be pretty normal again when someone moves towards your table and looms just a little--guys tend to do that. You look up with a slow blink.
"Hey, Mikuru. Is it okay if I sit with you?" Mitsuhara Hige. One of your fellow anthro students, a bespectacled cat boy who has a few inches of height on you. You've worked with him on a couple of projects, and he seems like a nice enough guy, you guess. You resist the urge to tell him to buzz off, though, because you want to focus on eating, then simply nod.
"Oh, of course," you mumble and wave to the seat across from you before sneaking a glance around the dining commons. Plenty of open seats. This gives you a bad feeling.
"What'd you think of the last reading? I'm not sure that I really agree with the conclusions that the author draws," he says with an air of casualness that you have to think is feigned.
"Oh, uh... I Yeah, I suppose so?" You say indecisively. "I think the support for it is there but I'm not sure they really managed to tie it all together."
"Right, exactly..." There's a pause that threatens to stretch out into awkwardness before he speaks again.
"So, ah, Mikuru--I was actually wondering if you wanted to go get drinks tonight? It's Friday, so a group of us were all going out. Not just men or whatever." He adds hurriedly, probably in an attempt to make sure you don't think you'll be the only woman surrounded by a bunch of social sciences guys. You're not out to him, so there's not really a reason for him to suggest that otherwise. Hm.
[ ] ...I would but I have to, uh. Wash my hair: You're not sure you feel like going out. It seems like a lot of effort and even if you like beer, being around other people tonight makes you tired just thinking about it. Maybe you'll stay in and play video games or watch an anime or something instead.
[ ] Sure, I'll be there: Agree to go along. A drink sounds good and maybe being around people will help you clear the cobwebs out of your brain, even if you don't quite feel up to it. Who knows, it could even be fun and not just kinda diverting.
Poor Hanako and Erika
