True, although if I wanted to do a properly meta version of this fic (in as much as taking RPG game mechanics as literally as possible can even be considered "meta" anymore, given the number of Gamer fics we have going around these days), I'd have set things in the game version of the Pokemon universe from the get go and just gone from there. Walking from town to town would take minutes rather than days, most people would only have one thing to say, I might mention the HP bar being visible or audible music playing in the background... stuff like that. That's pretty low hanging fruit though, and if you stick TOO closely to the game's mechanics without adding anything new, it's hard to have much of a larger plot - besides, I think Stand-in fulfills most of my requisite "meta" quota anyways. :D
The Gamer system is a specific thing though. Even if it did get pretty warped by people who didn't understand how it worked and then those got used as examples for how it's supposed to work, and that went on for several cycles; it never got to the point where it would describe that. What you described is simply being trapped in a game world. What you might instead want is a LitRPG which features all the gamer stuff as something that everyone is aware of and can manipulate, and will actually mold their actions and motivations to take advantage of it.
 
I just realised, a place made to hold a Mawile would be a HORNy jail (cause those fangs). Anyways, MORE TRANFORMATIONS!

Flair!Sunkern: ...at least I'm a great Athlete...if anyone is willing to train me...
Flair!Spoink: panting CAN'T. STOP. BOUNCING. HELP. ME. more panting
Flair!Galar-Stunfisk: ...I am literally a beartrap with a face. I am literally designed to be stepped on.
Flair!Klefki: *menacing key jingling*
Flair!Shiny!Magikarp: Not only am I defenceless, but literaly everyone else in the ocean can see me...
Flair!Unknown-!: *Screams in exclamation mark*
Flair!Delibird: My signature move can just heal my opponite...also why can't I drop this sack? How does this thing fly with only one free wing?
Flair!Dedenne: I'm an electric type...That can't generate enough electricity to do more than listen to the radio. (This is canon for this poor mon.)
Flair!Alomomola: Why is this not the evolution of Lovedisk?
Flair!Psyduck: And I thought the Exeggcute had a bad headache. This is unbearable.
Flair!Deino: I CAN'T SEE! ow... I think I ran right into a rock...
Flair!Yamask: Now I now someone is taunting me right now, this is my face I'm holding.
Flair!IIgglypuff: *is too terrified to move for fear of being sent flying forever*
Flair!Gulpin: I'm so hungry...I need to eat, but no matter how much I eat I'm always hungry...
Flair!Slugma: Must keep moving... must not harden...
Flair!Wigglytuff: STOP TOUCHING ME!
Flair!Clefable: *covers ears* Anyone got earplugs?
Flair!Garbodor: Ewwww...

For reference, I just looked up the most Miserable Pokedex article. Being a Pokemon suuuucks.
 
Flair!Dedenne: I'm an electric type...That can't generate enough electricity to do more than listen to the radio. (This is canon for this poor mon.)
I didn't know that. That's… I mean that's pathetic, but in an adorable way?
Flair!Alomomola: Why is this not the evolution of Lovedisk?
I'd protest the meme but seriously, how did they miss this one?
Flair!Yamask: Now I now someone is taunting me right now, this is my face I'm holding.
Interesting point, that. How do they know it's their own face? Is it an intuitive sense, or are they actually different shapes and we just can't see it because of art limitations? I'd find it extremely difficult to recognize a bronze mask of my own face.
Flair!Garbodor: Ewwww...
There is no excuse for the literal trash Pokémon. Pokédex inflation is totally out of control. Counting regional forms, there are over 900 of the things now. I can accept yet another fire fighter. I can accept ice cream. I can accept lizards with gangster pants. I can accept a friggin' gothic lolita. I can even accept a monkey with an anus on its head. The only Pokémon I can't accept as having a right to exist is the literal trash. Well, and the snot bears.

…Man, what the hell Gen 5?
 
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Honestly, Mawile makes perfect sense as a fairy-type to me, what with the outwardly cute demeanor that quickly turns horrifying when it tries to eat you.

Yes it does. I meant that I keep forgetting that it has changed, because most of my Mawile related memories are gen 3.

Also, did they really give the haunted keychain fairy type?


Who knows, maybe this story is even written by a mawile.

That would be cute and existentially concerning.

Are they still limited to 4 moves or is that just a coincidence?

Just a coincidence I would think, given that Flairwile knows more than four right now.

…Man, what the hell Gen 5?

All of the drugs, I suppose.
 
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There is no excuse for the literal trash Pokémon. Pokédex inflation is totally out of control. Counting regional forms, there are over 900 of the things now. I can accept yet another fire fighter. I can accept ice cream. I can accept lizards with gangster pants. I can accept a friggin' gothic lolita. I can even accept a monkey with an anus on its head. The only Pokémon I can't accept as having a right to exist is the literal trash. Well, and the snot bears.
I still don't quite get why everyone specifically hate Trubbish and Garbodor, it's no less stupid or weird to have sentient trash bag and sentient large burst trash bag than it is to have sentient pile of sludge and larger sentient pile of sludge. They even fit in as a weird little trio with Koffing and Weezing to have solid/land pollution, liquid/ocean pollution and gas/air pollution.

I have no idea how you got that out of Panpour though. It just has a tuft of hair that looks like a waterspout which stores water.

Gen 5 has a lot of design issues, but I mostly blame it on the huge influx of Pokemon all at once and the removal of all other Pokemon throughout the region. A lot of the Pokemon there are basically just rehashes since they couldn't use their standard filler mons.
 
I guess it's about appearance. Grimer and Muk don't look like pollution to me, they look like blobs. Koffing and Weezing are balls. But Garbodor is lovingly detailed, and it does look like rotting garbage. Maybe also personal experience; I've never had to deal with toxic sludge, but I know how awful a split garbage bag is.

Because I can't stand the literal trash and the snot bears for the same reason: genuine disgust. The others just don't look disgusting to me.

I have no idea how you got that out of Panpour though. It just has a tuft of hair that looks like a waterspout which stores water.
I saw it the first time I saw Panpour, and it just stuck, I guess. You're right, it doesn't actually look like an anus.

Gen 5 has a lot of design issues, but I mostly blame it on the huge influx of Pokemon all at once and the removal of all other Pokemon throughout the region. A lot of the Pokemon there are basically just rehashes since they couldn't use their standard filler mons.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's it. They had some good ideas in Gen 5! Zoroark, Scolipede, Chandelure, Volcarona, Leavanny, Galvantula. It's got my favourite grass starter and my favourite fossil duo.

But the decision to leave out all the old Pokémon was terrible. It was always going to be unpopular with players, but the designers weren't even ready with enough fresh ideas to fill a generation. They had some decent replacements—I like Audino better than Chansey—but a lot of really pathetic ones too. Especially the fighting replacements, yikes. The new hitmons are "throw" and "sock" but you spelled them wrong? The new Machamp has a clown nose and is covered in veins (also pretty disgusting actually)? Guys… no.
 
I guess it's about appearance. Grimer and Muk don't look like pollution to me, they look like blobs. Koffing and Weezing are balls. But Garbodor is lovingly detailed, and it does look like rotting garbage. Maybe also personal experience; I've never had to deal with toxic sludge, but I know how awful a split garbage bag is.

Because I can't stand the literal trash and the snot bears for the same reason: genuine disgust. The others just don't look disgusting to me.
I can respect that. But Pokemon has never been shy of it developers literally walking outside and doodling a face on the nearest obect that doesn't already have one. We have 2 pokemon that are literal balloons, a ball, the same ball but upside-down, 34 types of mice and rats, every single insect in the entire insect kingdom, mutliple blatent r34 bait, the playboy bunny, blatent furry bait, 17 types of dogs, 17 types of cats, a nurse, and Santa. Fountain of original ideas, GameFreak is not.
 
We have 2 pokemon that are literal balloons, a ball, the same ball but upside-down, 34 types of mice and rats, every single insect in the entire insect kingdom,
There are over a million different insect species. There are around 3 times as many 'bug' species as there are non-bug species combined.

They are not even vaguely close to having done all insects yet.
 
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I'm curious about what the mortality rate of trainers is. Based on your experience in the wild, it seems like it would be high, but based on how Paul acts around his pokemon, it isn't or else he would be more cautious even as he continues to be abusive.
Honestly, the whole time you were with Paul, I was quietly egging you on to nom his arm off and bail.
 
Mawile wanted to eat him because he was obnoxious, while the pokemon with him actually want training, and somewhat don't know any better. Mostly, though, I feel that attacking a human might be a purely human impulse, and pokemon would only feel the same way if the human were an immediate, visible, and direct threat. Mawile didn't seem to find Paul appetising at all. I doubt that pokemon have any natural impulse to eat humans and are likely to resolve most conflicts by just walking away unless the human has the means to overpower them, at which point it is too late to fight back. Even Ursaring, a pokemon renowned for violent rampages, didn't seem inclined to outright kill Mawile until it went from "My child is missing!" to "You ate my baby?!" which, well, mother bear... . I suspect that most pokemon are just really bad at building up and retaining enmity, and humans don't register as food, so pokemon-induced-devivification-syndrome is probably the result almost exclusively of accidents and specific known triggers, like intruding upon beedrill territory or scaring a vileplume.
 
That makes a lot of sense. Though that makes me wonder how pokemon could have come to view humans like that. Even if they're not perceived as threats, the could be perceived as easy sources of food especially before human civilization started to really pick up.
 
I'm just going with "you". Who knows, maybe this story is even written by a mawile.

Well of course it is - I'd think I've made that rather obvious by now, don't you think? ;)

Well, this point is moot now. Still curious why you didn't check your own entry though.

The real reason is mostly just because the chapter needed to move along, and I didn't want to deal with the hassle of writing that out along with Chimchar's scan. Besides, Me!wile knows most of that information already anyways, so there wouldn't have been much point to it.

They also should have made a Galarian Misdreavus that's Ghost/Fairy, based on banshees.

Ooh, I'd have definitely approved of that idea! It is the "Screech" Pokemon, after all...

Are they still limited to 4 moves or is that just a coincidence?

It's just coincidence - I'm going off of what moves Chimchar has actively shown to be part of his repertoire in the episodes up until this point, which just happen to only total four at the present moment.

The Chansey line aren't Fairy-type to maintain pattern with the Clefairy and Jigglypuff line. All three started in Gen 1 as rare pink normal-types. All three got baby forms in gen 2. Then, when the Fairy type was added, Clefairy's line became pure Fairy, Jigglypuff's line became Fairy/Normal, and Chansey's stayed pure Normal. I think I would probably have switched which type assignments Jigglypuff and Chansey got, because both Chansey and Clefairy are consistently rarer than Jigglypuff, but I can see why they gave each line a different typing.

I suppose that could make sense, yeah. I'd definitely agree with you on giving Chansey a Fairy typing over Jigglypuff though - maybe they just didn't want to make Chansey and Blissey even more potentially useful in the meta than they already are? Not that Gamefreak has ever really cared about that before so far as I'm aware, but it's all I can think of for that reasoning.

Bulbapedia very helpfully says that in Diamond and Pearl, the Pokedex can check a Pokemon's level, but then provides no episode where this is done. Very frustrating. It mentions this in the Pokedex article.

Yep, that article is why I added levels to the Pokedex scan to begin with. The way it phrases things is why I thought it was revealed that it can check levels and moves in the same episode, which turned out not to be the case.

Anyways, MORE TRANFORMATIONS!

I would honestly mark this as an omake, but at this point, I think I'm practically obligated to gather all of the previous ones + my various responses into one post and mark that as the omake, just so that no one's contributions are left out. I'll respond to all these new ones a little later, if you don't mind - seventeen more of these is going to take me quite a while to reply to. ^^;

For reference, I just looked up the most Miserable Pokedex article. Being a Pokemon suuuucks.

*pouts* Why are you so determined to make sure my stay in Pokemon World is as unfun as you can possibly make it? I can't even call that cruel, because it's not like I'm being all that much nicer to myself in the fic proper, but still... :(

(I kid, though it really does seem like most of the various Pokemon!me's are not having a very nice time of it. Apparently, even in other people's "inserts" of myself I just can't catch a break. :lol:)

Interesting point, that. How do they know it's their own face? Is it an intuitive sense, or are they actually different shapes and we just can't see it because of art limitations? I'd find it extremely difficult to recognize a bronze mask of my own face.

I imagine it's both, really. Though, there's also just common sense to take into account - we know that Yamask supposedly retain their memories of being human from the ORAS Pokedex, and when you wake up as a Pokemon, having emerged from your own grave, and find yourself clutching a bronze mask of someone's face in your newly-existent tail, one's natural inclination is most likely going to be 'That's ME!'

…Man, what the hell Gen 5?

Funny thing, I actually quite liked most of Gen 5's designs when I first saw all of them - the worse ones sort of faded into the background, while the better ones stuck out, and as such I was pretty darn excited about Black and White. When I got around to actually playing the game however, not only had that initial luster faded, but I somehow found it to be much more boring than I'd expected. I didn't even mind that it didn't have old Pokemon in it, but somehow it just completely failed to suck me in. Maybe it's just because Unova has more emphasis on big cities and such than previous games, but it just felt... dull to me. I still do like some of the individual Pokemon designs, but to this day, the Gen 5 games remain some of my least favorites, sitting just above Gen 2 (which I never even finished until HG/SS came along) in my personal rankings.

That would be cute and existentially concerning.

Yeah, that's about how it feels on this end too.

They even fit in as a weird little trio with Koffing and Weezing to have solid/land pollution, liquid/ocean pollution and gas/air pollution.

Huh, hadn't thought about it that way. That's actually an excellent point; I'll have to keep that in mind from now on.

I guess it's about appearance. Grimer and Muk don't look like pollution to me, they look like blobs. Koffing and Weezing are balls. But Garbodor is lovingly detailed, and it does look like rotting garbage. Maybe also personal experience; I've never had to deal with toxic sludge, but I know how awful a split garbage bag is.

Yeah, I think it's just how much more viscerally gross looking Garbodor is compared to the other "pollution" Pokemon. Trubbish I can even see as maybe being kind of cute, if unlikely to smell all that great, but Garbodor is just flat out repulsive, and looks stupid to boot. Ironically, it might have benefited from a more simplistic design (even though a lot of gen 5 was criticized for that exact issue), or even just a slight color change in some regard. Anything to make it look slightly less like a roving pile of... well, quite literal shit. I'm sorry, I have no other way of phrasing that.

mutliple blatent r34 bait

Don't kid yourself - with how determined the internet is, that's literally every Pokemon. :rolleyes:

I'm curious about what the mortality rate of trainers is. Based on your experience in the wild, it seems like it would be high, but based on how Paul acts around his pokemon, it isn't or else he would be more cautious even as he continues to be abusive.

This fic will... probably not get into that, if just because Me!wile isn't particularly likely to come across a situation where the topic would come up. I will say however that it is definitely a concern many parents of aspiring trainers have to face, and may have something to do with why there aren't more proper "trainers" running around to begin with.

@Flairina I can't remember whether this has been discussed already: do you have a plan for dealing with how Ash's Pikachu gets depowered at the beginning of each new region?

That has not been discussed, no, and I don't really have a plan to "deal" with it at present moment. It shouldn't really be an issue until Me!wile actually encounters Ash anyways (that is, assuming I actually succeed in that endeavor), and I just removed the concept of levels from this fic regardless, but if it still ends up needing to be addressed, I'll figure something out before that point.
 
mutliple blatent r34 bait,

You see, they say that, but I never see where the bait is. Sure, the internet jumped on those particular mons, but that's the internet for you.

I kid, though it really does seem like most of the various Pokemon!me's are not having a very nice time of it. Apparently, even in other people's "inserts" of myself I just can't catch a break. :lol:

High standarts. Mawile!You is used to be part of a highly versatile species that utterly controls it's worlds meta.

Anything weaker than a legendary is gonna be a letdown after that.

Except for Ninetales. 1000 year lifespans and untold illusion powers ftw.

I imagine it's both, really. Though, there's also just common sense to take into account - we know that Yamask supposedly retain their memories of being human from the ORAS Pokedex, and when you wake up as a Pokemon, having emerged from your own grave, and find yourself clutching a bronze mask of someone's face in your newly-existent tail, one's natural inclination is most likely going to be 'That's ME!'

I'm always quite confused why those are treated as pokemon. They are undisputebly humans.

That has not been discussed, no, and I don't really have a plan to "deal" with it at present moment. It shouldn't really be an issue until Me!wile actually encounters Ash anyways (that is, assuming I actually succeed in that endeavor), and I just removed the concept of levels from this fic regardless, but if it still ends up needing to be addressed, I'll figure something out before that point.

Ash's Pikachus all rage quit when he does the entire "haha sucks to be you team I'm releasing you all 'for your own good'" thing and switches places with a wild mon to stay behind with the old team.
...
I kid, I kid.
 
It's just coincidence - I'm going off of what moves Chimchar has actively shown to be part of his repertoire in the episodes up until this point, which just happen to only total four at the present moment.
Considering it's something you!while would probably notice, it should probably have been lampshaded or joked about when it came up. I thought the 4 move limit was going to be a thing for a while when mawhile had exactly 4 of them in the first few chapters, not gonna lie. :p
 
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Ooh, I'd have definitely approved of that idea! It is the "Screech" Pokemon, after all...
Possibly at least partially since Galar is based on England/Britain and I'm pretty sure banshees are Irish, not British. I'd agree it's a neat concept though if they ever make an Ireland-based region. Though Bulbapedia says it's possibly already partly inspired by the banshee so who knows.
 
@Flairina I can't remember whether this has been discussed already: do you have a plan for dealing with how Ash's Pikachu gets depowered at the beginning of each new region?
At least Black and white had an excuse, what with the lightning dragon absorbing Pikachus power.

Flair!Gulpin: I'm so hungry...I need to eat, but no matter how much I eat I'm always hungry...


which makes me think of HP as working similarly to a philosophers stone, i.e Finite but refillable pool of Energy that is used to heal injuries
Speaking of Flairina as a hungry pokemon....
Guzzlord
 
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Flair transformations, Ultra beast addition. Because its 415 here and I have no impulse control. Sorry Flairina, making more work for you.

Flair!Guzzlord: Constant screaming and stomach growling
Flair!Celesteela: 3...2...1..BLAST OFF! Insert Jimmy Neutron theme here
Flair!Necrozma: Something about shooting for the moon and purposely missing.
Flair!Buzzwole: ah...these muscles are definitely someone's fetish...
Flair!Pheromosa: Well what do you know, these legs do go all the way up... ew some dirt.
Flair!Kartana: there's some kind of katana joke here, but I'm just not seeing it... really need to watch out for stray flames though...

That's all for now... I really should be asleep.
 
Funny thing, I actually quite liked most of Gen 5's designs when I first saw all of them - the worse ones sort of faded into the background, while the better ones stuck out, and as such I was pretty darn excited about Black and White. When I got around to actually playing the game however, not only had that initial luster faded, but I somehow found it to be much more boring than I'd expected. I didn't even mind that it didn't have old Pokemon in it, but somehow it just completely failed to suck me in. Maybe it's just because Unova has more emphasis on big cities and such than previous games, but it just felt... dull to me. I still do like some of the individual Pokemon designs, but to this day, the Gen 5 games remain some of my least favorites, sitting just above Gen 2 (which I never even finished until HG/SS came along) in my personal rankings.
It probably doesn't help that there's a lot of interruptions that pop up and break the flow, many of which are pretty stupid, a number of which prevent you from challenging the local gym, and several of which are actually completely pointless.
 
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