STAR TREK: A Long Road (Voyager Fix It Quest)

Amy Strong frowned as she tapped her fingers on the counter and read through the security reports.

"Uh, Captain," she said, turning around to face the rest of the bridge, where Janeway was enjoying her coffee. C'nola and Tom were at tactical and the conn, while T'are was at her post in science - and the whole of the USS Voyager seemed to be thrumming along nicely. "Computer says Harry Kim's been sucked into another dimension."

"Again?" Janeway asked, frowning.

This was, of course, when the door to the bridge opened and Harry's three dimensionally transcendental girlfriends arrived to lodge their complaints. The first and most emphatic was, of course, Princess Lyan Positron, the runaway daughter of the Adept of Positrons, who had chosen to side with Harry against her tyrannical father. She came flouncing into the bridge in her best flowing dress, sword jouncing at her hip. "Katheryn Janeway!" she exclaimed. "You must stop misplacing Harry Kim. Twice in a row? This is getting unseemly!"

"The first time was when he arrived in your dimension, you can't count that time," T'are exclaimed. "And it's not in a row! We've had, like, five adventures since-"

"Where is he?" Soria Flyte, the transforming pegasus girl asked, her wings flapping behind her back. "We were going to go to the holodeck today. If he's been eaten by a space monster!"

"Or stolen by a Caretaker," Bifurcate, the sleek, silvery robot of the trio, added.

"Oh, that's three times," Lyan exclaimed.

"That's not another dimension!" C'nola snapped. "We were jammed into a VR simulation. Same universe."

"It's the principal of the thing!" Lyan said, while her two fellow girlfriends nodded.

Janeway sighed, quietly. "Lieutenant Strong, T'are, scan the ship and find me what kind of dimensional vacuole or subspace crack or godlike being has snagged Mr. Kim. Right now."

The three girls immediately clustered around T'are, who hastily dialed up her masker as she started to type away at her computer. Amy slid her chair closer, and the two put their heads together as Janeway shook her head slowly. She hoped against hope that Harry Kim had arrived in a nice, pleasant dimension. Something he could enjoy! Since it looked like finding him was going to take awhile.

Especially with help like this, she thought, sourly.

Oh, they're just worried about their, ah, partner, Phoebe said, her voice nervous.

A trilling reveille played and Ensign Harry Kim sat bolt upright in his bed - and slammed his head directly into the bunk right above his. He had about five seconds to think why the hell is there a bunk bed over me? when a pair of legs swung around, and a nearly naked form dropped down next to him. Harry blinked - then yelped as a bladed knife pressed to his throat and the pressure shoved him back into the bed. He held up his hands as best he could as Tom Paris glowered down at him with bitter, hateful eyes.

"Did you try and stab me?" Tom growled. "Really, Kim?"

"What? No!" Harry squeaked, too sleep deprived and concussed to say anything else.

Tom narrowed his eyes, then drew the blade back. He slipped it into a sheath attached to his underwear. "I've got my eye on you kim...phaser captain? That's going to be my post." He backed away from him - then turned his back, with a strange deliberateness, moving to a wall closet that was smooth and flush with the wall. Harry blinked at him - and saw that the cabin that he had once enjoyed all by himself had four beds in it now. The other two beds had two other men, who were starting to rouse and stretch. The whole room had an odd look to it too. Rather than modern polyplast and duranium alloys, it looked like he was in one of those old Constitutions - the kind that had used the cheap polyplast extrusion tech that made everything look like painted plywood.

Tom shucked on a bright red tunic with a black armband - complete with a dagger shaped embalm impaled through a circular planet that must have been Earth.

Harry Kim groaned.

Tom ignored him. The others muttered - one of them whispering. "Looks like Kim is fully aware of his inadequacies today. Think he'll drop himself face first into the recycler."

"No, he wouldn't be brave enough to deny the Chief her sport..." the other man chuckled with amusement. "Isn't that right, Kim? The Chief has her finger...right...on...your...agonizer." He stepped forward, putting his foot on the edge of the bed, grinning down at Harry with nearly daemonic energy.

Harry schooled his features. "I wouldn't want her to miss out on her fun," he said, rubbing his palms against his face. He stood, walked to the closet, and yanked out his uniform.

Just as he expected.

Terran Imperial Navy standard issue red for ops. And, yes.

The Terran Imperial Navy standard issue agonizer.

Tom and the others walked out. Harry started trying to think of the best way to immediately get home - how could he get to the transporter - when the ceiling panel next to the lighting fixture fell down and...

Harry Kim dropped right out of it. He landed, catlike and graceful, and stood with an old type-2 phaser in his hand. The kind used in the 22nd century, just like the walls and ceiling - as if technology had simply stagnated for the past eighty years. Harry stood perfectly still as Evil Harry smirked at him, slowly.

"And everyone wondered...why I shaved my goatee..." Evil Harry said, his voice wicked. "All part of the plan. Now. You're thinking about heading home? Well. Not until you help me."

Harry blinked at his alter ego. It was...bizarre to see someone who looked so like him and yet was so completely unlike him. Harry Kim in the Terran Empire seemed hunched and furtive, his eyes flicking left and right, his shoulders ducked forward, his spine arched a bit, like he was perpetually ready for someone to hit him. It was honestly kind of pathetic. Harry just wanted to get him some...soup or something. But then the phaser pistol recentered itself on his chest and he saw his evil doppelganger flick the switch from stun to light stun - the kind that just hurt real bad. That setting didn't exist on Starfleet phasers. Of course it existed here. Harry crossed his arms over his chest, trying to look brave.

"All right," he said. "What do you want, Evil Harry?"

"Ev-" Evil Harry scowled. "Shut up! I'm Kim. You're Harry. Got it?"

"Sounds fine," Harry said.

"Okay," Kim said, then smirked. "And it's very simple, Harry. I...want you to help me take over this ship. By Emperor Georgio's name - I will be captain of the USS Voyager before the week is out!"

---
DUNNNN DAN DUN DA DUNNN DA DANNN!!!!!
CURRENT MOMENTUM: 0
CURRENT TRAITS
[ ] Fine. What is your plan, Kim?
[ ] ...the idiot has it on light stun. Take the phaser from him, shove him into the closet, and get to the transporter bay
[ ] Write in